The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

WHEN I’M 65

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L       I       F       E   

isn’t   about   a   number   of    Candles

on   a   quick-to-go-stale

Birthday  Cake.       .       . 

.       .       .Maybe the best part of old age for anyone is that they can actually

A   T   T   A   I   N            I    T

There are Givens:

Death   is   the   Number   One   Killer   in   the   World.       .       .

Life   is   Sexually Transmitted and it’s
T E R M I N A L . . .

and   it   ENDS.         .         .

usually
just not as well as we’d like.       .       .

Great Health,
it turns out,
is merely the slowest possible rate
at which anyone can ever die.      .      .

But.         .         .

After some 780 months

3391 weeks and five days

23,742 Days on this spinning blue ball

569,808 hours

34,188,480 minutes

2,051,308,800 seconds,

I’ve learned a few lessons.         .         .

and the biggest one:

There’s    just    a    few    more    lessons    to    learn.       .       .

There was a recent survey taken in the UK that said the biggest fears men have growing older are:

94% fear going bald

89% fear becoming impotent

75% are worried about going grey

64% are scared of getting fat

61% fear losing their teeth

45% dread needing  ‘jam jar’ glasses

31% are scared of going deaf

24% are frightened of getting bad breath

100% of me is concerned that I wasted time.        .        .

that somehow,

I didn’t become all of  
M  E 

I regret little of what I’ve ever done.      .      .

even the not-so-good-kind-of-horrific-things

because they’ve all made up the tapestry of my life–
especially the dark, ugly colors;

It’s the strands of threads
that I didn’t allow to become a part of the mosaic.        .        .

to expand it

that taunts me;

It’s not the two-self published books,

it’s the yet-to-be published two novels,

five Children’s books,

three non-fiction books

four books of poetry

and the yet to be written ones

that fill stacks of notebooks and overflowing file folders.      .      .      .

I have no interest in spewing out the  
6 5  
greatest things I’ve learned in my

 6 5  years.    .    .

I do believe that

R   e   l   a   t   i   o   n   s   h   i   p   s,   

not technology or medical advances,

Heals  me.      .      .

I do believe that  
 L O V E   
is the greatest force in and out of this World

and when applied frequently and liberally
 Y O U
 not only Change.      .      .

The Universe does, too.          .          .

I do believe that the secret to long life is
simply never to let your heart stop beating    
or never passing up the opportunity
of making Another’s beat better.      .      .

I do believe that

Life is not counted by pages on a calendar
or minutes/seconds on a clock
or candles on a cake.      .      .
but in

M      O      M      E      N      T      S

that can never be counted,
calculated,
measured
or
harnessed.       .       .

o n l y    r e m e m b e r e d

way past a pulse,
a heart beat,
a breath

or any other means of defining Life
that can’t be definite.      .      .      .

B     I     R     T     H     D     A     Y     S
are never what they’re cranked up to be
no matter how many you continue to collect
none of them mean a thing
until you make everyday between them mean
 E     V     E     R     Y     T     H     I     N     G

So.       .       .
about that cake.       .       .

I’ll pass.          .           .

but  WOW.       .       .

that piece of Pecan Pie
is looking mighty, mighty

f   i   n   e !

Join me.       .       .
we’ll call it a

Party.        .          .
a never-ending Celebration

.         .         .Candles are optional

The   Light   
is   Blinding

But, at my age
I’m not much thinking about Blinking
. . .I don’t want to miss a thing
and I can’t wait to see
not so much how many more
strands I can add to this
growing-by-the-second-older-
t a p e s t r y
so much as
the different
colors
textures
that’ll get me ever closer to being
c o m p l e t e d
. . .now where did I put that letter

Over Served

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images-3

Can you?

Can anyone ever Serve too much?

Can  you
O   V   E   R      S   E   R   V   E ?

I still wake up in the middle of the night.      .      .

S O M E T I M E S

because of those
D I S
services.          .          .

I made a commitment to conduct two funeral services. The Services were two hours a part and at two different Funeral Homes, of which, both Funeral Directors knew of the Services I was doing. . .two totally different situations.

The first service was for a young man who died at a very early age of pancreatic cancer. His love was his motorcycle. It was actually brought in and placed right beside his coffin. A few family members were late and we got started a little late and several spoke during the service. We then had a motor cycle Procession to the funeral home…and I had several heart attacks on the way, because now I was late to the other funeral, a funeral for a baby who had died from
S I D S.

Yes, I made several phone calls telling the circumstances.       .       .

BUT
.         .         .A   BABY’S   FUNERAL?

What   made   it   worse

(AS   IF   IT   COULD   BE   WORSE)

The Grandfather kept  Sincerely
APOLOGIZING TO ME
for my huge mishap—-
as if it was his fault and my huge inconvenience!

O    V   E   R       S  E  R  V  E  D

She was not only a close friend, but an awesome colleague who had a routine heart valve surgery that went horribly wrong. She was on life support systems and I had to guest preach at another Church, a commitment I had made months before the surgery. Even though I was attentive to the family during surgery and several days following, my beeper was going off incessantly before and during the service because the family and Doctors had decided to wean her off of the vent she was on to keep her alive and they waited TWO LONG PAINFUL HOURS for me to actually get there before they allowed that procedure to take place with this large family of thirty plus packed into a very small waiting room.       .      .

O    V    E   R       S   E   R   V   E   D

She was three weeks late coming into my World. My daughter Angie was born, three weeks late on a Friday morning, two days before I was scheduled to go to a week long Junior Church Camp where I was going to be the Director. I, literally left them in the hospital as I went driving off to Camp.      .      .

O    V    E    R       S   E   R   V   E   D

TRUE   CONFESSION:

Sometimes I lay in bed at night, not sleeping, not Remembering the things I HAVE DONE
but Fretting
over all of the things
I   HAVE   NOT   DONE.       .       .

You?

B E D E V I L I N G

Not The Accomplishments
But Bemoaning the ACCIDENTS.

Is it possible?

Could it be True?

Can we ever–E V E R–Serve too much?

O     V     E     R  –  S     E     R     V     E

It can be as messy as an expensive wine being OVER Poured into the most elegant and expensive of Crystal Goblets

I think of all the OVER SERVINGS that kept me from friends
I think of all the OVER SERVINGS that kept me from family
I think of all the OVER SERVINGS that kept me from Actually
                                           S    E    R    V    I    N    G

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm  Of  The  Day:

Never let your service

become a DIS-Service.       .       .

It’ll keep you up at night.      .      .
or worse,
keep you from going back to sleep!

The Mercifulness of a Caring Catalyst

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Are you Selfish?

Not many admit that they are.           .           .

and the folks who actually do
confess just how selfish they are.         .         .

usually are the folks who are the least self-serving

S          T          I          L          L

The most
 s        e        l        f        i        s        h
you can ever be

is when you’re  

f    o    r    g    i    v    i    n    g

Funny, huh?

We mostly think that
Forgiveness
is something we do;

something we provide for another person

for a horrid aggression done against us.          .          .

w        r        o        n        g

Forgiveness
isn’t ignoring you were hurt.        .        .

Forgiveness
isn’t about setting yourself up to be hurt again.          .          .

Forgiveness
isn’t about letting someone getting away with something.      .      .

Forgiveness
isn’t about reconciliation.       .        .

Forgiveness
isn’t something we do to make better another’s life.        .        .

Forgiveness
i s
a pretty selfish thing to do.

We’ve all heard it said,

“RESENTMENT IS A POISON ONE TAKES HOPING TO HARM ANOTHER”

S  O .     .     .

Is Forgiveness a Selfish Act

or   a

C        A        R        I        N        G              O        N        E   ?

In fact,

the most

c     a     r     i     n     g

thing you can do for another

is the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself

f          o          r          g          i          v          e

Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssst   of   the   Day:

ACCEPT

THE     APOLOGY

YOU     NEVER

R  E  C  E  I  V  E  D

o          f           t          e          n

Become more of a Caring Catalyst.

JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

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Now that’s a pretty loaded question, isn’t it?

I usually got asked that question as a kid when I did something my parents didn’t overly appreciate. . .

Maybe I talked back
Maybe I gave my unauthorized opinion
Maybe it’s what I didn’t say when I should have said something
Maybe my MAYBE is severely understated. . .

I may not be a whole lot more mature
or much more GROWN UP
but I have gotten a little wiser with the years. . .

SO. . .
ANSWER THE QUESTION:

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Psssssssssssssssssst of the Day:
IT HAS MULTIPLE ANSWERS
(yes, there’s more than one)

W H E N
WERE
YOU
AT
YOUR ABSOLUTE BEST?

This Is the Age When Your Self-Esteem Is Highest

 JAMIE DUCHARME  of TIME MAGAZINE has an idea according to some of her extensive research:

In today’s youth-obsessed culture, getting older is often seen as something to fear. But a new study says at least one thing gets better with age: self-esteem.

Age 60 seems to be best for self-esteem, according to a paper published recently in the journal Psychological Bulletin — and those positive feelings may stay at their peak for an entire decade.

“Midlife is, for many adults, a time of highly stable life circumstances in domains such as relationships and work. Moreover, during middle adulthood, most individuals further invest in the social roles they hold, which might promote their self-esteem,” study co-author Ulrich Orth, a professor of psychology at the University of Bern in Switzerland, said in an email to TIME. “For example, people take on managerial roles at work, maintain a satisfying relationship with their spouse or partner, and help their children to become responsible and independent adults.”

The researchers based their analysis on 191 research articles about self-esteem, which included data from almost 165,000 people. They set out to present the most comprehensive look yet at how self-esteem changes with age, examining a number of different demographics and age groups.

Self-esteem first begins to rise between ages 4 and 11, as children develop socially and cognitively and gain some sense of independence. Levels then seem to plateau — but not decline — as the teenage years begin from ages 11 to 15, the data show.

That’s somewhat surprising, given that many people — scientists and otherwise — assume that self-esteem takes a hit during the traditionally awkward early teenage years, “possibly because of pubertal changes and increased emphasis on social comparison at school,” Orth says. “However, our findings show that this is not the case.”

Instead, self-esteem appears to hold steady until mid-adolescence. After that lull, Orth says, self-esteem seems to increase substantially until age 30, then more gradually throughout middle adulthood, before peaking around age 60 and remaining stable until age 70.

After this period, however, Orth’s data show that many adults experience a decline in self-esteem, beginning modestly around 70 and becoming more significant around age 90.

“Old age frequently involves loss of social roles as a result of retirement, the empty nest, and, possibly, widowhood, all of which are factors that may threaten self-esteem,” Orth explains. “In addition, aging often leads to negative changes in other possible sources of self-esteem, such as socioeconomic status, cognitive abilities and health.”

The suggestion that these factors don’t seem to meaningfully converge until around age 90, however, should be encouraging.

“Many people,” Orth says, “are able to maintain a relatively high level of self-esteem even during old age.”

SO. . .
Just WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Maybe the more important question:
WHO ARE YOU CONTINUING TO BECOME ?
(are you satisfied)
It’s the only research that’ll ever be
r e l e v a n t

L I K E A B I L I T Y

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People Like You More Than You Think,

                 A New Study Suggests

Peechaya Burroughs for TIME

 Recently, in Time Magazine, the author, JAMIE DUCHARME shared some interesting insights:

You may not get a second chance at making a first impression — but a recent study suggests that you probably don’t need one anyway.

The research, published in the journal Psychological Science, finds that people often underestimate how much another person likes them after they meet for the first time.

“I always have this sneaking suspicion that maybe my conversation partner didn’t like me or enjoy my company as much as I liked them or enjoyed their company,” says Gus Cooney, a social psychologist at Harvard University who co-authored the paper with Erica Boothby, a postdoctoral psychology researcher at Cornell University. “Is  it just me?” he wondered. “Or is it everybody?”

Cooney’s research suggests it’s the latter. The researchers ran a series of experiments in which two people met and talked for the first time, then rated their own conversational performance and the other person’s. Across conversations of varying lengths, some with topics provided and others without, the researchers found that people consistently rated their conversation partner as more likable and enjoyable to talk to than they rated themselves.

Shy people were especially prone to the “liking gap,” Cooney says, but it happened across personality types. There was even evidence, gathered through a study that surveyed college suitemates over an academic year, that the misperception persists beyond first interactions, potentially lasting months or more.

Since it’s impossible for both people in a conversation to be the more likable one, Cooney says this finding suggests that we  treat  new  acquaintances  more  kindly  than  we  do  ourselves — and  that  people  like  us  more  than  we  think they  do.

Several factors are likely driving the liking gap, Cooney says. For one thing, people may be so hyper-focused on their side of the conversation that they can’t accurately gauge how the other person is feeling. “We don’t know what other people are thinking, and so we substitute our own thoughts about ourselves for what other people think,” Cooney explains. “We’re basically projecting what we think of our own performance, and assume that’s what other people think of us.”

People tend to be harder on themselves than they are on new acquaintances.

After a conversation, you can look back on everything you said wrong and mentally correct it, or remember instances when you were funnier, kinder or more eloquent. You don’t have the same mental catalogue for someone you’ve just met, so you may “take them more at face value and be much more charitable,” Cooney says.

 

That’s a potential problem, since underselling yourself socially may promote sadness and anxiety, or cause you to miss out on valuable personal interactions, Cooney says. While the study didn’t look into strategies for overcoming the liking gap, Cooney says simply knowing it exists is a good place to start.

“We always have this post-mortem with ourselves. That little voice in your head turns on, and you start thinking about your conversation,” Cooney says. “Be suspicious of this voice and its accuracy.”

Another new study, published in Nature Human Behavior, supports this type of social pep talk. It found that when a person makes a positive first impression, the other person remembers it — but when an initial meeting goes poorly, the other person is ready and willing to change his mind and give him another chance.
B                 A                 M  !

That research was based on a hypothetical scenario in which a stranger either electrically shocked another person for money — creating a wholly negative first impression — or turned down the cash out of concern for the other person. Study participants were willing to give even the electrical shockers a second chance at making a good impression, the researchers found — so after a normal conversation, devoid of electrical shocks, you’ll probably do just fine.       .       .

Pssssssssssssst:

You want to know the real secret to

L         I         K         E         A         B         I         L         I         T         Y

Give’em something to

 L                  I                  K                  E

The Caring Catalyst in YOU

is contagiously adorable.          .          .

U     N     L     E     A     S     H            I        T

THE UNHAPPY CLOWN

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9 Things Therapists Do When They

                   Want To Feel Happier

Steal these tips from the pros.
Dominique Astorino On Assignment For HuffPost

WESTEND61 VIA GETTY IMAGES

You can be an absolute expert within the field of finding happiness and still need a little help yourself.

“We have the same problems as our patients,” said David D. Burns, a clinical psychiatrist and author of bestselling psychology book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. And sometimes that means dealing with negative thoughts, anxiety and bad moods.

So what does a therapist — usually the advice-giver when it comes to these types of problems — do when they’re in a funk? I loved falling across this HuffPost article who chatted with Burns and a few other experts to get their tips. Here are some of their go-to moves when they need to feel happy ASAP, as well as their advice on how you can steal them for yourself:

Use    the    “30-second    rule”

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a task, chore, conflict, to-do list ― and it’s totally sabotaging your mood ― try tackling just a small piece of it, Burns said. “The thing I choose to do has to be something I can complete in about 30 seconds, that way I can’t give myself any excuses to procrastinate,” he explained.

For example, Burns said that day he was feeling particularly overwhelmed by piles of paperwork on his desk, so he put his method into practice immediately. He took 30 seconds — all while on a call — to put a few pieces of paper together, staple them and file those papers properly in his file cabinet.

It’s ridiculously simple, but Burns said he felt a marked improvement in his mood immediately. “You feel a little bit of a boost every time you do this,” he said.

(I AM THE MOST UN-ORGANIZED ORGANIZED GUY I KNOW; I AM POWERFULLY PRODUCTIVE UNDER THE GUN AND AM IN CONSTANT COMPETITION WITH MYSELF; SO I PLAY THE GAME OF DOING JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE A LITTLE BIT LONGER AND A LITTLE BIT BETTER:  WIN!)

Do   some   deep   breathing

SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY VIA GETTY IMAGES

This tip is the oldest trick in the book for a reason. According to Habib Sadeghi, a holistic health expert and author of The Clarity Cleanse, taking a few large breaths can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, a part of your overall nervous system that’s responsible for lowering your heart rate and blood pressure. Taking a few deep breaths is also “a way to get out of the head and into the body,” Sadeghi said.

Sadeghi added that a deep-breathing exercise can be a small, easy way to slow down and change “how we think and feel.”

To try it yourself, start with a forceful exhale to clear some of the air from your lungs. Hold this for a second or two, then inhale deeply, allowing your abdomen to expand. Count to seven as you inhale, then hold your breath for about the same amount of time. Then exhale slowly for about 14 seconds or so. Repeat this for about 10 cycles, preferably on the edge of a chair with your eyes closed.

(WE NEVER THINK ABOUT BREATHING;  SO THINK ABOUT IT.  THE AVERAGE PERSON TAKES ANYWHERE FROM 17,280 TO 23,040 BREATHS A DAY.  JUST THINK ABOUT 40 OF THEM ON PURPOSE)

LET  YOURSELF  FEEL  BAD

It might be tempting to squash your terrible mood by suppressing that negativity, but you’re actually not doing yourself any favors. Instead, experts tell their patients ― and themselves ― to let themselves feel whatever emotions that pop up.

“Don’t tell your feelings to shut up. Instead, ask ‘what’s up?’” said Heidi Ligouri, a licensed counselor and motivational speaker. She added that ignoring a feeling can often make a situation worse.

Taking the time to process feelings can also help you get into a happier mindset more easily. There’s no reason to feel bad about feeling bad, said Kathleen Dahlen deVos, a psychotherapist based in San Francisco. She calls accepting negative feelings “emotional fluency,” which means experiencing your emotions “without judgment or attachment.” This allows you to learn from them, use them or move on from them more easily, Dahlen deVos said.

(SOMETIMES MONDAY FEELS LIKE A MONDAY; HUG THAT PORCUPINE AND REMIND YOURSELF THAT MONDAY IS   ‘J U S T’    A DAY NOT ALL SEVEN; TUESDAY IS COMING AND SO IS THE WEEKEND!)

Stop   and   say   one   nice   thing   about   yourself

ARTURSFOTO VIA GETTY IMAGES

Self-criticism comes easily for most people, especially when they’re in a terrible mood. So, once you’ve acknowledged you’re feeling crummy, counter that with a little emotional TLC.

“We tend to be so brutal on ourselves. Not only are we telling ourselves not to feel, but when we see a feeling we judge ourselves,” for having it, said Ligouri. “Once you see the [negative] feeling … practice self-compassion.”

If your bad mood is caused by a mistake, or if you’re thinking negatively about yourself, interrupt that stream of consciousness by picking out one thing you like about yourself. For example, maybe you prioritize hanging out with your sister, or you’re a team player at work, or you volunteer every month. Just something that gives yourself credit for your attributes. It sounds like a corny exercise, but it might just work.

“Developing a practice of mindful self-compassion has been hugely supportive in helping me to live a happier, healthier, and more joyful life,” Dahlen deVos said. “Self-compassion, in essence, is the recognition that no matter what is happening in our lives, we are innately worthy, lovable and connected to all of humanity.”

Jodi Aman, a psychotherapist and author of You 1, Anxiety 0, said she practices this as well. “I get dissed and let down as much as the next girl,” she said. “I’ve trained myself to show compassion for what I feel, and this helps me not judge myself, which makes the hurt easier on the mind and soul.”

Still need some convincing that this technique isn’t bogus? Research shows that this practice also can help protect you from anxiety depression.

(MY GREATEST SELF TALK GO TO: I BELIEVE I AM THE BEST THERE IS; I BELIEVE IT WITH ALL OF MY HEART; B U T   I   ‘ K N O W’   IT’S NOT TRUE WHICH IS WHY EVERY DAY I JUST DON’T SEE MY FLAWS, I AM SEVERELY MOTIVATED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT)

Ask yourself what you should do next ― then do it

Let’s say you showed up 20 minutes late to a meeting and halfway through your important presentation, you noticed you had a massive coffee stain on your shirt. You get through the meeting, but you’re angry about the circumstances afterward. In this situation, Ligouri said she figures out her next step by asking herself what she needed.

“Ask yourself: Do I want to keep rolling around in upset? Do I want to create or recreate a commitment to living a happy healthy life? Do I just need a nap? Do I want to reach out to a friend?” Ligouri said. In other words, figure out what to do next ― even if it’s just a simple task ― and then commit to doing it.

(SECRET WEAPON: M O T I O N–VERB IT UP!  IT’S ALL ABOUT BEING IN MOTION/ACTING/DOING– EVEN IF IT’S IN YOUR HEAD)

Take   a   hike

JGI/JAMIE GRILL VIA GETTY IMAGES

Maybe not literally, but at the very least get outdoors. Each expert said they rely heavily on this activity as a way to improve mood.

“I make it a point to get fresh air and incorporate movement into every day,” Dahlen deVos said. “Sometimes this means a yoga or fitness class, but often it’s just a morning hike with my pup or an afternoon walk around the neighborhood during a free hour.” Her secret weapon? Doing this phone-free.

Aman also said long walks, in particular, are her go-to move when it comes to increasing her happiness. “I take a long walk in the woods,” she said. “The research on this is unmistakable. It’s good for the mind, body, and soul.”

You also get the added benefit of exercise, which is its own mood booster, Sadeghi said.

“Exercise is really one of the best ways to blow off stress and sadness,” he explained. “Even resistance training, or a rough round of racquetball or tennis — something that requires you to focus intensely on your body, its movements and sensations.”

(I WAS DEVASTATED TO EXPERIENCE THAT I COULD NO LONGER RUN MARATHONS OR EVEN SHORT DISTANCES BUT I CAN SWIM-RUN IN THE POOL AND STILL WALK–THE BEACH–ANY BEACH IS THE BEST; IT HAS IT’S HEALTH BENEFITS BUT I DO IT FOR MY HEAD NOT SO MUCH MY HEART)

Find   a   mantra   that   works   when   you’re   in   a   bad   mood

Dahlen deVos said she keeps a set of mantras in her back pocket, and recommends the same for her clients. “Develop a self-compassion mantra: an easy-to-memorize set of phrases to repeat when we need a compassion boost, or to create mindfulness of a situation,” she said.

She recommended trying something like this the next time you’re feeling down and out: “I’m having a hard time, but everyone feels this way sometimes. May I be gentle with myself and remember that I’m safe and okay.”
(MY   GO   TO : “I  GOT THIS, BRING IT!”)

Dance   it   out

Sadeghi said he personally turns to dance as “a great way to expel a lot of pent-up anxiety or depressive energy.”

Using a mix of “upbeat songs that you really love,” give yourself room to literally dance like no one’s watching. “Make your movements random, but deliberate and strong; get your whole body into it,” he said. “Imagine the negative energy flying out of your body through your fingertips as you move around.”

(ok in my case:  SING   IT   OUT, LOUD AND ANIMATED.  MY FAVORITE PLAYLIST IS ONE I’VE CREATED CALLED: RUNNING; IT’S THE BEST WORKOUT I’VE HAD WITHOUT RUNNING SHOES)

Play with a pup (or another furry friend)

ANCHIY VIA GETTY IMAGES

There’s a reason pet owners tend to live longer. Spending time with a dog, cat, or another animal can be profoundly calming and uplifting.

Burns cited time with his sweet rescue kitten Misty as one of his all-time favorite mood-boosters.

“It really teaches me something at a deep level,” he said. “She’s not special, she’s just an abandoned cat. I am not special either! But when we’re together, life becomes special.”

(I’VE TOLD MY DOG AND CATS THINGS I’VE NEVER TOLD ANOTHER LIVING BEING AND THEY’VE NEVER DISAPPOINTED OR NOT LISTENED OR NOT BEEN GLAD TO SEE ME–B  A  M!)

Psssssssssssssssssst:

Sometime this Clown doesn’t much like Clowning.          .          .

It, thankfully, never lasts long because of the ultimate secret weapon:

r        e       l        a         t        i        o        n        s        h        i        p       s 

 w  h  a  t  ‘  s        y  o  u  r ‘ s ?

Begin Again

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I just recently watched it

a       g       a       i       n.       .       .

I often do that with movies I really enjoy:

WATCH   THEM

over and over and over again.       .       .

Have    you    ever    begun    again?

The 2014 movie, BEGIN AGAIN with Keira Knightley and Mark Ruffalo is hardly Academy Award winning in any aspect, but,  just the same, this is my favorite scene where Ruffalo’s drunken record producing character imagines instruments playing.

“That’s when the magic happens,”

his character tells us.

And you. . .when does the magic happen for you–in your head. . .in your heart. . .in your soul. . .?

The greatest stories

The worst stories

The greatest speeches

The worst speeches

The greatest pep talks

The worst pep talks

The greatest motivational insights

The worst motivational insights

come  from   Y     O     U. . .inside  of   you

Just because we don’t say IT out loud doesn’t make it any less powerful.

Forget Churchill

Forget Ziglar

Forget Tracey

Forget Robbins

Forget Canfield

Forget all of the great speakers you thought were awesome, or motivational, or inspirational or inciteful. . .

YOU ARE THE MOST POWERFUL SPEAKER YOU’VE EVER HEARD

What we tell ourselves

What we imagine

What we convince

What we think between our ears is more herculean than any other message heard or read.

Dare you harness THAT  imagination?

Dare you leash THOSE  thoughts?

B      E      W      A      R      E :

Your imagination is the most influential force you’ll ever encounter. . .

or you’ll ever need.        .        .        

Wow.      .      .listen to that music

It’s the greatest symphony ever composed;

It’s the greatest orchestra ever assembled;

and    it’s    all    inside    of    you

Shhhhhhhhhhh.        .        .
Listen.         .         .

let your eyes close slowly. . .

see.         .         .

hear.           .           .

Y     o     u,

The Conductor,

have already tapped your baton on the podium.         .         .

your   arms   are   raised

and shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.    .    .

  The      first      notes      are     about    to

B  e  g  i  n      A  g  a  i  n

Your Graduation Speech

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The News isn’t good,

Class of 2016

The Word is

You won’t have five jobs.     .     .

You’ll have  S I X   Careers;

The Word is

Only 27% of you will actually get a job related to your major;

The Word is

You will greatly enhance and most likely increase very quickly the 43% of Americans who have significant debt due to your student loans and quickly adding up credit cards;

The Word is

n     o     t          g     o     o     d

Well.   .   .

Speaking of

 W  O  R  D  S

Do  you  remember?

Do you remember the any single word or cleverly arranged phrases at your Graduation?

What’s the most memorable graduation speech you’ve ever heard?

One that happened whenever you graduated?

One from when one of your children or grandchildren graduated?

From a Movie?

One you’ve given yourself for any one of the ga-zillion

G    R    A    D    U    A    T    I    O    N    S

you’ve experienced in your personal life

from job to job

relationship to relationship

health to illness

year to year

life phase to life phase

life lesson to life lesson

life to life’s many different slow deaths

You’ve given the greatest Graduation Speeches the World has ever known

most of all without speaking one audible word.

S     E     L     F  —  T     A     L     K

will do that for you

without a syllable ever being uttered.

Do they match Robin Williams

from his movie
J     A     C     K  ?

No

They far exceed it

The most powerful words you’ve ever heard

aren’t those spoken to you during any Graduation Ceremony

but the ones you continually speak to yourself

because they’ll either have you

settling

or

exceeding

not the world’s expectations

or predictions

but the only ones that truly ever

c     o     u     n     t  :

Y          O          U          R            S

Congratulations

Class of 2016

Go out and conquer the World :

Y          O          U          R          S

Make your Life

S          P          E          C          T          A          C          U          L          A          R

Make   T  H  A  T

Your Life’s Work

and the World will never be the Same

Y          O          U          R        S

.         .          . O            U             R            S 

Drinking from the Saucer

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tea-overflowing-213x300

Have you ever done it before?

If you were at a Five-Star Restaurant and had just had a very expensive, satisfying dinner and the waitress, who has addressed your every whim and need, is now pouring your coffee to overflowing perfection so it’s a small moat in your saucer around your coffee cup.

Q   U   E   S   T   I   O   N :

Are you an    A P R I L     F O O L     enough

in front of all the guests,

enjoying dinner as you are,

going to    S  L  U  R  P    from your saucer?

Not even if it’s the best coffee ever,

Right?

Well, not many of us take notice

and might not readily admit it,

but the good stuff   I S   in the Saucer.    .    .

the Overflow is  always/ALL ways

where IT’S at.      .      .

Any Real   April Fool   knows that, don’t they?

A few weeks ago,

I conducted the small memorial service for Charles.

I never met him before.

He was a hospice patient in a group home near Santa Barbara, CA.

He was 92 and had been there most of his life,

but his life was never defined by that little fact.

Charles was an April Fool every month of the year.    .     .

Charles drank from the saucer,

u n a b a s h e d l y,   o f t e n,

with a smile on his face

and a pure, unadulterated happiness in his heart.

I learned that Charles had friends,

found true love,

traveled extensively,

had a job he took pride in,

and led a stress-free,

h   a   p   p   y           l   i   f   e !

Saucer slurping high living, huh?

The truest of  April Fools

S     e     r     i     o     u     s     l     y ,

if given the chance IN or OUT of a Group Home,

if at our last breath,

we could KNOW,

not hope,   wish,   dream.      .     .

K           N           O           W

that we had friends,

found true love,

traveled extensively,

had a job we took pride in,

and led a stress-free, happy life

—-S a u c e r – S i p p e r—–

Class   A   April Fool,

would you turn it down,

walk away?

Don’t feel bad.       .       .

M a n y    d o !

Pssssssssst:

D o n ‘ t      b e      M  A  N  Y !

Most don’t have the chance to drink fully from The Cup,

let alone the Saucer.     .     .

Most would turn down voluntarily being an

A P R I L      F O O L

any day of the year,

let alone on April 1

Look again.

There’s not only a Full Cup we have

but a Saucer for the Overflow

Hmmmmmm  of  the  Day:

Now Noticing would be one thing.

Drinking from them both. . .Quite another!

One. . .Two. . .Three:

S    L    U    R    P       Deeply

You April Fool

Get  Charles’d !

The Hardest Compassion

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images-1

 

“YOU BIG JERK. . .”

“YOU SUCK. . .”

“YOU STINK. . .”

“What an Idiot. . .”

“U N B E L I E V A B L E. . .”

You ever utter or literally SCREAM out those words to

Y O U R S E L F

and mean it more than any other words you’ve ever mouthed off?

We go to sleep with the enemy every night. . .

And rarely ever wake up fully satisfied with the awesome wonder of WHO WE ARE!

Those old words come back to hack away at our very essence more than we realize or admit:

“WE HAVE MET THE ENEMY AND IT IS US!”

Sadly it’s more than often:

I HAVE MET THE ENEMY AND IT IS ME.

I was SHOCKED when I read a recent article from A POINT OF VIEW of the BBC that 99% of those with Down Syndrome say they are happy with their lives.

CAN. . .

DO. . .

ARE YOU HAPPY with YOUR LIFE

Right here,

Right now,

The way it is?

It’s true, isn’t it?

We’re not happy with Our Shapes, Our Likes, Our Dis-likes, Our hair, Our faces, Our Clothes, Our Jobs, Our kids/grandkids, Our Cars, Our homes, Our bank accounts, Our Retirement Funds, Our state of health,
OUR__________, OUR__________, OUR__________, OUR__________, OUR__________, OUR__________, OUR__________

Seriously–when’s the last time you gave yourself a break?

When’s the last time you didn’t bad mouth YOU?

When’s the last time you were nice to yourself?

When’s the last time you gave yourself a HUG?

When’s the last time you were your own Best Friend?

I’m not so sure I want you as a NEIGHBOR the way I’ve seen you love yourself. . . .

Out of all the lack of Compassion in the World, maybe the greatest lack is the GENUINE Compassion you actually show yourself?

It’s true.

I am the biggest jerk I’ve ever met.

I am the biggest hypocrite there ever was.

I am the stupidest, most inconsiderate, selfish person that walks the streets.

I    A M. . .

Heartbeats guarantee those moments, those thoughts, those FICTIONS!

Pssssst: Write yourself a letter–LITERALLY!
What would a compassionate friend say to me right now–write it, send it, RECEIVE IT!

Pssssst: Write your self-criticisms down.

A S K:

Would I ever, even on my worst, meanest day, ever say these words to a friend?

What would a friend tell me right now?

Pssssst: Write yourself a little Mantra:

“I’m not perfect and neither is the moment–but it’s JUST A MOMENT and I’ll be here after it like I was before it–GOOD! I WILL BE KIND, FIRST TO MYSELF SO I CAN BE COMPASSIONATE TO OTHERS!

There. . .that wasn’t so bad, was it?

The hardest kind of Compassion to dole out is to yourself.

We go to sleep with the enemy every night. . .

It’s time to

WAKE UP!

You don’t have to hit the SNOOZE BUTTON or pull the blankets high over your head. The World has some tremendous needs, that yes, only the Unbelievable, Stupid, Idiot, Jerk YOU can meet, can actually
handle. . .

Bring your Flawed self to this Flawed World

You’ll be totally amazed just how perfectly the imperfect pieces fit together like they wouldn’t/couldn’t if they were, in fact, PERFECT!

B  R  I  N  G      I  T. . . .

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man