The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

A W E shucks

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W         H         E         N.          .          .

when was the last time you were

A           W          E          D

Maybe the better question.          .          .

WHEN        WILL       BE       THE       NEXT       TIME.          .          .          ?

Well.          .          .

H          E          R          E   ‘     S

Eight   Reasons   Why   Awe   Makes

YOUR  LIFE  BETTER

Research suggests that awe can make you happier, healthier, more humble, and more connected to the people around you.

Starting 15 years ago, scientists have been studying the complex and mysterious emotion called awe—one you might have felt if you’ve stood in front of the Taj Mahal, hiked among towering redwoods, or had your mind blown at a concert, play, or ballet.

Inducing goosebumps and dropped jaws, awe experiences are remarkable in their own right. Moreover, a growing body of research suggests that experiencing awe may lead to a wide range of benefits, from happiness and health to perhaps more unexpected benefits such as generosity, humility, and critical thinking.

In our busy lives, seeking awe may be low on our list of priorities. But we might be underestimating its power. “One simple prescription can have transformative effects: Look for more daily experiences of awe,” writes the Greater Good Science Center’s Dacher Keltner.

The   Science   of   Happiness   at   Work

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The latest research suggests that taking the time to experience awe—whether through engaging with nature, enjoying great art or music, or even bingeing on breathtaking YouTube videos—may be a pathway to improving your life and relationships.

1. Awe may improve your mood and make you more satisfied with your life

Need a mood boost or a stress slayer? Some studies suggest that experiencing awe may help.

And you don’t have to take a trip to the Grand Canyon to get the job done. Just watching awe-inducing slideshows and videos can improve your mood and well-being, according to a few studies. Another study found that people who read a short, awe-evoking story about seeing Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower reported greater life satisfaction in that moment than people who read a story about seeing a plain landscape from up high.

Of course, it’s tough to beat real-world experiences—so in a recent study, researchers took military veterans and youth from underserved communities whitewater rafting. They found that the more awe the participants experienced, the more improvement they saw in their well-being and symptoms of stress one week later. According to a different survey the researchers conducted, undergraduate students reported greater life satisfaction and well-being on days when they spent time in nature, which was attributable to the higher level of awe they felt on those days. This suggests that awe just might be a crucial ingredient in nature’s restorative powers.

2. Awe may be good for your health

Experiencing awe over time could potentially have long-term health benefits, at least according to one study. People with a greater general tendency to experience awe—but not any of the other seven positive emotions studied—had lower levels of interleukin-6 (IL-6), a marker of inflammation (too much inflammation can lead to a host of chronic diseases).

A second part of the study found that participants who reported feeling more “awe, wonder, and amazement that day” had lower levels of IL-6; this was true even after accounting for people’s general tendency to experience awe and be open to new experiences. In other words, all of us—not just people who are prone to experiencing awe frequently—may be able to reap the health benefits of a particularly wondrous day.

However, this study can’t tell us whether awe decreases inflammation or whether people with more inflammation are less likely to experience awe—a question for future research.

3. Awe may help you think more critically

Some studies suggest that awe may be able to sharpen our brains. One study found that when people were induced to feel awe, they were less persuaded by weak arguments than people who did a neutral activity (imagining doing their laundry). In contrast, some other positive emotions—like anticipatory enthusiasm or amusement—made people more susceptible to weak arguments.

Intriguingly, a recent theoretical paper argues that awe may help facilitate scientific learning and reasoning in children. For example, when a child sees an anvil and a feather drop at the same rate in a vacuum, this experience likely violates their intuitive understanding of how gravity works, evoking feelings of awe that lead them to develop a new theory about the relationships between weight, gravity, and motion.

Similarly, a recent study found that people who have a greater disposition to experience awe had a more accurate understanding of the nature of science and were more likely to reject creationism and other scientifically questionable explanations about the world. Importantly, these people didn’t have greater “faith” in science; they just understood better how science works.

4. Awe may decrease materialism

A few studies suggest that experiencing awe may dampen feelings of materialism. The experimentwith the Eiffel Tower story also found that, when given a hypothetical choice between a material good (such as a $50 backpack) or an experiential product (such as a $50 iTunes gift card), people who read the awe-inspiring story chose the experiential product more often than people in the other group did.

In another study, participants who recalled an awe experience placed less value on money than did participants who recalled a happy or neutral experience, and viewing awe-inducing images reduced the effort people were willing to put into getting money (where effort was measured by tolerance for listening to an unpleasant sound).

Why might awe decrease materialism? According to the researchers, the answer may lie in the self-transcendence that awe can inspire. “People in awe start to appreciate their sense of selfhood as less separate and more interrelated to the larger existence,” they write. “The experience of awe elevates people from their mundane concerns, which are bounded by daily experiences such as the desire for money.”

Further evidence for this idea comes from a recent study, suggesting that awe can function as a buffer against negative emotion when you lose material possessions. After time spent marveling at the world around you, misplacing your new sunglasses might not feel so bad.

5. Awe makes you feel smaller and more humble

One of the most profound effects of awe is how it can change our perception of ourselves relative to the larger world. In particular, multiple studies have shown that awe can make us feel small, diminished, or insignificant—what researchers call the “small self” effect.

In one particularly interesting study, researchers asked visitors to Yosemite National Park and Fisherman’s Wharf (a tourist area in San Francisco) about their feelings of awe and other emotions, as well as their sense of self. Tourists at Yosemite reported experiencing significantly more awe, represented their current self with smaller circles (when given a choice of sizes), and drew self-portraits that were nearly 33 percent smaller than tourists at Fisherman’s Wharf.

Besides making people feel physically smaller, awe may also make people more humble. One recent study found that people who are more naturally prone to experiencing awe felt more humility and were rated as more humble by their friends. Experimentally inducing participants to feel awe led them to acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses in a more balanced way and to better recognize how outside forces contributed to their successes.

6. Awe can make you feel like you have more time

Awe may also expand our perception of time. One study found that people induced to feel awe felt less impatient and agreed more strongly with statements suggesting that time is plentiful and expansive than people induced to feel happiness. The researchers speculate that by immersing us in the moment, awe may allow us to savor the here and now.

“Awe-eliciting experiences might offer one effective way of alleviating the feeling of time starvation that plagues so many people in modern life,” the researchers write.

With more time on their hands, people feeling awe reported a greater willingness to offer that time to others—to volunteer their time, but not their money, to help a charity—compared to people feeling happy.

7. Awe can make you more generous and cooperative

In fact, multiple studies have found that experiencing awe may make people more kind and generous. For example, one study found that people with a greater tendency for awe were more generous in laboratory tasks like distributing raffle tickets between themselves and an unknown participant. And people who stood among awe-inspiring eucalyptus trees picked up more pens for an experimenter who had “accidentally” dropped them than people who stared up at a not-so-inspiring large building.

Together, these studies suggest that awe may prompt us to help others and to be more generous, perhaps because of the way it encourages us to focus less on ourselves and expands our perception of available time.

8. Awe can make you feel more connected to other people and humanity

Awe has an amazing capacity to bring people together. Research suggests that awe helps us feel more connected to the people in our lives and to humanity as a whole.

In one study, participants spent time near an awe-inducing Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton or in a regular hallway. When asked to describe themselves, the dinosaur viewers were more likely use universal descriptors (such as “a person” or “an inhabitant of the Earth”) rather than more specific descriptors (such as “tall,” “friendly,” or “a student”) than the other people, suggesting that awe increases our sense that we are part of a greater whole.

Another study found that people experiencing awe reported feeling more one with their community compared with people feeling neutral (an effect that may only hold for people with high self-esteem). Interestingly, another part of this study found evidence that culture may also influence awe’s effects, leading people from individualistic cultures to feel as if their social network has expanded (they feel closer to more people) and people from collectivistic cultures to feel closer to those already in their network.

As a 15-year-old science, awe research is literally in its adolescence. This means that many of the findings discussed in this article are based on very few studies (and thus should be taken with a grain of salt). What researchers don’t know about awe far eclipses what they do know. For example, we don’t know much about how awe affects children throughout development, how awe is related to religious and spiritual experiences, and how awe can be used therapeutically. And researchers are just beginning to explore the neuroscience of awe.

But with increasing interest among psychologists and the public in the topic, the future of this research looks bright—maybe even awesome.          .          .

well.          .          .

one  thing  might  be  as  certain  as  morning  and  more  real  than  night:

before you can share

a            w            e

you’ve got to be

a              w              e              d

A  W  E  D
t  o
A     W     E

(repeat   often)

WOULD YOU RATHER ?

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We all believe that we are the

C        R        E        A        T        O        R        S

of our own W o r l d s.               .                 .

UNTIL     WE        ARE         NOT.          .          .

It was one of my favorite games

usually played in the back seat of our family car

on long or even not so long

T R I P S.          .          .

For the lack of a better name

we just called it

W    O    U    L    D          Y    O    U          R    A    T    H    E    R

and  it  went  like  this:

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  AN  ELEPHANT  OR  A  MOUSE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  A  MOTHER  OR  A  FATHER ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  A  RAINDROP  OR  A  SNOWFLAKE?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  A  LITTLE  RED  RIDING HOOD  OR  A  GOLDILOCKS ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  A  FARM ANIMAL  OR  A  FISH ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  A  HOT  OR  COLD ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  WORK  OR  PLAY ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  EAT  SPINACH  OR  LIVER ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  SING  OR  DANCE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  RIDE  ON  A  TRAIN  OR  A  PLANE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  WATCH  A  MOVIE  OR  A  PLAY ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  EAT  ICE  CREAM  OR  CAKE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  IT  WAS  CHRISTMAS  OR  HANUKKAH  OR  YOUR  BIRTHDAY ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  LIVE  IN  AN  IGLOO  OR  A  TEPEE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE BITTEN  BY  AN  ALLIGATOR  OR  A  SHARK ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  HAVE  GUM  ON  YOUR  SHOES  OR  DOG  POO ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  GET  ELECTROCUTED  OR  SHOT ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BURN  TO  DEATH  OR  DROWN ?

.          .          .the  WOULD  YOU  RATHERS

are endless and you might have come up with a few yourselves
(PLEASE  SHARE_______________________________________________)

AND   THEN   THERE’S    ALWAYS:

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  LOVE  FIERCELY  OR  BE  LOVED  FIERCELY ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  GET OR GIVE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER MAKE A DIFFERENCE OR BE MADE A DIFFERENCE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE KIND OR BE KIND’ED

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  COMPASSIONATE  OR  COMPASSION’ED

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE.           .             .

j u s t     b e 

well
then
v e r b
   i  t
  u   p.       .       .

R  A  T  H  E  R

B     E

Billion Dollar Advice

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Here’s      what’s      cool:

1 saying   ‘thank  you’
2 apologizing   when   wrong
3 showing   up   on   time
4 being   nice   to   strangers
5 listening   without   interrupting
6 admitting   you   were   wrong
7 following   your   dreams
8 being   a   mentor
9 learning   and   using   people’s   names
10 holding   doors   open

Not bad advice, huh.          .           .          ?

A       N       D.            .            .

it’s literally

p r i c e l e s s

because it doesn’t cost a thing.             .             .

no formal education or certificates necessary;

It   actually   becomes

BILLION     DOLLAR     ADVICE
when Warren Buffett tweets it out as he did a couple of weeks ago;

Does it make a difference if a no name or even I

Tell you something as opposed to the exact same advice given by a
Billionaire.          .          .

I will give you 1 billion reasons why it doesn’t

but the biggest one is

I  F
you don’t take the advice that you know is right
for you.          .          .
it   really   won’t   make   much   of   a
d          i          f          f          e          r          e          n          c          e  

I   would   rather   you   open   up   your   heart
than  your  wallet

.          .          .but make no mistake
about this
even though
it may be a more costly investment.          .          .
I  T       W  I  L  L  
be   Everlasting.          .          .

Money doesn’t solve problems people do.           .          .

Deposit   yourself

heavily in another’s personal account

and I guarantee you

b      o     t     h

will not only become richer

but so will the world.          .          .

In fact.          .          .

It’s the only

T   R   U   E         C   H   A   N   G   E

that you’ll ever really need

and more.        .       .

that’ll ever really  matter:

C   H   A–C   H   I   N   G

The Worst Job Ever

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Well.      .      .

what is it?

What’s   the

W      O      R      S      T               J      O      B  

 you’ve   ever   had?

Most of us have had more than

J U S T   O N E

J o b   in   our   lives.

I began working well before my 14th birthday.

I had to get

 “WORKING   PAPERS”

signed by my parents

so that I could work a part-time job behind our house.

Charlie was a pallet builder for shipping companies

and he needed a Laborer to haul wood,

shovel and sweep up sawdust

and burn piles of wood chips/scraps.

It was a hot job

and I hated being literally,

steps aways from my backyard

where my brothers and friends were doing what I wanted to be doing:

P          L          A          Y          I          N          G !

There were Golf Course jobs,

being a Roofer,

a waiter in a Pizza diner,

a Steelworker,

working as a clerk/stocker for grocery store,

a Gas Station Attendant,

Student Minister,

Minister,

Associate Minister,

Sr Minister,

Hospice Chaplain,

Part-time Minister,

Self Published Writer,

Professional Speaker,

Wedding

Baptism

and Funearl Officiant.        .        .       .

But do any of those jobs.        .        .

any of the jobs you ever had compare

to being the

Light    Bulb    Changer    in    a    Cobra    Cage ?

Ophiophagus hanna  is the largest/longest venomous snake in the world,

and it has enough venom to kill elephants,

buffaloes,

and oh yeah,

easily any  h u m a n.          .          .

S e r i o u s l y,

how much an hour,

how much a month,

would you need

to make
to do
t         h         i         s

as part of your routine duties?

Me?

Not all of the money in Thailand

and it’s four neighboring countries.

There are some great jobs,

and there are some absolutely horrible jobs,–

All a matter of perspective,  huh?

There are some jobs we do for money,

lots of it,

and some we do for not any money at all.

It’s one of those little
UNKOWN      FACTS,

but statistically,

Labor Day is the second

to New Year’s as the time when most people take time

to actually sit down

and try to GPS

out a fairly clear and even more compelling plan for their future.

The Ga-Zillion dollar question is:

W   I   L   L       Y  O  U     B  E     O  N  E      O  F      T  H  E  M ?

About  time  for  an  old  cliche:

IF   YOU   DON’T   KNOW   WHERE   YOU   ARE   GOING,   ANY   ROAD   WILL   TAKE   YOU   THERE!

What’s the Worst Job you have ever had?

Hmmmmm.     .     .

Maybe the Worst job Ever

is   you   doing

W          H          A          T          E          V          E          R

your’e   doing   and   ultimately.       .       .

N  O  T       S  U  P  P  O  S  E       T  O       B  E       D  O  I  N  G !

OUR    WORK
ISN’T    WHAT    WE    DO
BUT    WHO    WE    ARE

Y     O     U
are the Job.       .       .

Y   O   U
are the Work

that needs to get

F  I  N  I  S  H  E  D !

Psssssssssssssst  of  the  DAY :

There’s no money in the world

—-all of it—-

that anyone could ever get
or give to do

T   H   A   T        J   O   B !

H  A  P  P  Y

(U N – )L A B O R     D A Y

I WONDER

By 2 Comments

I             W     O     N     D     E     R

I wonder what motivates you.          .          .

I wonder what motivates me.          .          .

I wonder if I’m more motivated by the FEAR of Failure

I wonder if I’m more motivated by the FEAR of Success

I wonder if GOALS are a nice way to postpone the inevitable

I wonder if I planned to FAIL,  I would be 100% Successful

I wonder Why

I wonder WHY NOT

I wonder if you’re still reading

I wonder what you’re doing if you’re not

I wonder if you watched the whole 12 minute plus video

I wonder if you became even a little bit motivated

I wonder if you became shamed over someone else’s motivation/success

I wonder if you’re still reading

I wonder if you’re not

I             W     O     N     D     E     R

YOUR DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

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DO  YOU  HAVE  ONE

Do   you   have   a   Personal
DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE ?

Would you even consider writing one of this 4th of July

in between picnics

in between family gatherings

in between the parties/the outings/

in between the FIREWORKS

Well.          .          .

may be it’s high time that you

Write Your Personal Declaration of Independence

“The beginning and the end reach out their hands to each other.” —Chinese proverb

I know it’s may well be past the 1/2
NEW YEAR MARK

B          U          T

Why  Wait?

WHY NOT CLAIM A REALLY NEW YEAR AS YOU DECLARE YOUR OWN PERSONAL
DECLARATION  OF  INDEPENDENCE

Here’s something to think about to really bring that spirit of freedom home to your own heart:
                              What will you declare YOUR independence from today?

What’s the tyrant that is holding you back from being all you can be?
Is it a not-so-healthy habit you want to let go of?
A stifling job?
A toxic relationship?
Someone who is pushing you in a direction that isn’t right for you?
Is it your need to always be right when interacting with others?
Constantly living in the past or blaming yourself for situations that aren’t totally under your control?
Or the debilitating habit of saying yes to everyone else instead of drawing boundaries and saying yes yourself?

What will you declare your independence from today?

It’s an important question that deserves some deep contemplation and, even better, a written commitment where you sign on the dotted line. Think of this as creating your own personal Independence Day—the day you vow to cut the tie, the day you declare your liberation from whatever or whomever is crushing that part of you that wants to fly.

Tips for writing your personal Declaration of Independence:

  • Be honest with yourself: Name something (or someone) that is holding you back from fully being yourself.
  • Write out your personal Declaration of Independence from this inner or outer tyrant with firm commitment and passion.
  • In your declaration, state exactly what you are committing to be free from and why this is important to you. What will you be able to accomplish by liberating yourself from this yoke?
  • You can also write that you are inviting and welcoming into your life all the support (physical, emotional, and/or spiritual) that you need to stick to your pledge of freedom.
  • Then write down the specific actions you will commit to in order to see this through to the finish.
  • Date and sign your declaration.

This can be the start of a new thrust for you, especially when you see this declaration as a pledge—a promise to yourself that you will choose to cut yourself free from the negative habit or toxic tie because it is dragging you down—even smothering you—rather than raising you up.  Sure, it might take some work.  But the commitment, in tangible form, is the essential first step.

The Scottish mountaineer W. H. Murray once wrote: “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”

Sounds like a NEW YEAR’S DAY or better still, a true
DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE DAY, huh?

Commit to your freedom today from one key thing that isn’t helping you thrive. See how it feels, and see what happens next. A new beginning is waiting for you.

And truly just don’t let the
F  I  R  E  W  O  R  K  S        B  E  G  I  N.          .          .

I   N   S   U   R   E

They will
N     E     V     E     R           E  N  D !

OFF THE TRACKS

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We always seem to be looking for the way.          .          .

or at least a new way,

A R E N ‘ T     W E ?

A path.          .          .

 In search of some wild and promiseful destinations.          .        .

And what do we find?

Just exactly  W H E R E   do our searches take us.          .          ?

What discoveries have we made when we set off for such a destination?

Could it be true

Is it even vastly possible

That maybe the greatest destinations

The greatest journeys

Are not those that we’ve set out for;

not those that we have tried to be in search of;

B                    U                    T

P E R H A P S

J U S T     M A Y B E

P O S S I B L Y

The ones that took us to a place

we absolutely had no idea

we had no way of knowing

we had no intention of going

And  yet  F O U N D

r       e       c       e       i       v       e       d

what we could’ve never gotten

 any other way

from any other place

or any other person.          .          .

Now that’s the

A          D          V          E          N          T          U          R          E

of life

and living

if it teaches us nothing else

it most surely must educate us to the possibility

that some of our best lessons

are those we never signed up

 and learned anyway just by going

O     F     F          T     R     A     C     K

C H O O  — C  H  O  O

AAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL     AAAAAAAA  —  B      O      A      R      D

The PROOF is in the GIVING

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Our Brains Are Wired To Give…

“Suppose you could be hooked up to a hypothetical “experience machine” that, for the rest of your life, would stimulate your brain and give you any positive feelings you desire. Most people to whom I offer this imaginary choice refuse the machine. It is not just positive feelings we want: we want to be entitled to our positive feelings.” — Dr. Martin Seligman

In 2014, a study led by neuroscientist Molly J. Crocket shed light on how much humans care about others relative to themselves. The results were surprising. They showed that, on average, people were willing to pay twice as much money to prevent someone else receiving an electric shock than the amount of money they would pay to prevent receiving the same amount of shock themselves.

At first, the conclusions seem puzzling. How does this fit with our survival bias, our innate sense of self-protection in the face of danger? A little experiment may help us understand this apparent contradiction.

In the next few days, do the following two things:

  1. Something fun.
  2. Something altruistic.

Plan both events and write about how you think doing those two different acts will make you feel. Then, immediately after completing the two activities, write down how you actually feel. At the end of the day, write down how you feel again, long after both events happened.

More likely than not, the high of doing something fun will last for a little bit and then fade away. It is a satisfaction that consumes itself shortly after the activity ends. If you go to the cinema and you enjoyed the movie, you will feel good after leaving the premises, but you won’t carry that feeling much longer after that.

However, if you perform a random act of kindness the feeling-good effect will endure for hours after the event happened. Try helping someone who can’t help you back; do it anonymously, or listening to someone in need. Or donating to a cause you truly believe in. The positive feelings stemming from the altruistic act will last for a long time after the event happened.

… And Positive Psychology Knows Why

Positive psychology is the field behind the scientific theory of happiness. Not so long ago, psychology focused only on helping troubled minds go back to a healthy state; Patients suffering from depression and other mental disorders. It sought to bring these patients back from “-10 to 0” on the well-being scale.

Positive psychology, on the other hand, looks to answer the question “what can make a healthy mind thrive?”. It looks scientifically into how we can go from “0 to +10” on the well-being scale. The father of positive psychology is Dr. Martin Seligman, author of books like “Authentic Happiness” and “Learned Optimism” and the founder of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania.

After years of research, he came up with 5 core pillars that act as the infrastructure to our psychological well-being and happiness. It is called the PERMA model:

  • P for Positive Emotion: feeling good, optimism, pleasure and enjoyment.
  • E for Engagement: doing fulfilling work, having exciting hobbies, immersing oneself in a sense of “flow”.
  • R for Relationships: deep social connections, love, intimacy, emotional and physical interaction with others.
  • M for Meaning: having a purpose in life.
  • A for Accomplishment: setting and pursuing goals, realizing your ambition, living with a sense of achievement.

You can experience all of these in a single act of giving, whether it’s sharing a meal with a friend or donating a large sum to a good cause.

Why   Giving   Fulfills   Us

Giving adds to our lives in many different ways, but is also exactly in line with the PERMA model.

  • When we give, we generate positive emotions. This, among other things, triggers a physical reaction: the release of dopamine. This hormone is secreted by the brain and regulates pleasure. It also helps us create habits by stimulating the repetition of the activity that brought us pleasure in the first place, over and over again.
  • Giving also helps us make our relationships more engaging. It enhances the quality of our interactions with others. To receive the appreciation of someone we have just helped is not only rewarding at an individual level, but also a powerful way to cement our social bond with that person.

However, giving goes well beyond facilitating positive emotions or better interactions with others. It can become a profound driver of our success in life, by contributing directly to the meaning and accomplishment components of the PERMA model.

Giving   As   Purpose

In “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Penn’s psychologist Angela Duckworth, I learned about Kat Cole. Cole started her career waitressing at Hooters while finishing her high school. She later rose up to become vice president of the company at age 26. Today, Kat Cole is Group President of Focus Brands, an investor, humanitarian and advisor.

Here’s her attitude on giving:

“By doing good for just one person, in just one moment, you can affect the trajectory of many things, of many lives, all over the world. Even if in some situations it’s not easy to be kind, gracious or positive, keep in mind it’s not just that moment that you are affecting, it’s many moments into the future.”

She differentiates between productive achievers and destructive achievers. As per her own description in a recent interview:

“There are a lot of people who have been incredibly successful by the typical person’s definition, financially or in terms of career acceleration, but have done it destructively, by not lifting others up and bringing them along. Then there are those who have been productive achievers, who have also brought others along with them and made a difference.”

For Cole, her giving attitude implied raising others and bringing them along in her path towards growth. A deep sense of purpose, rooted on an abundance mentality, had a significant impact on her professional success.

Happiness has to be earned. It cannot be chased. It cannot be manufactured. Happiness is about the consistency of our daily actions with our principles. The way we respond to the daily demands of life. In that context, a virtuous circle of gratitude and giving — as proven by positive psychology, the science of happiness — becomes a critical element of a fulfilling life.

And now.      .       . THE  BIG  Sooooooooooo:

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssst:

LIFE is not a zero-sum game. An abundance mindset is both possible and practical. Science has shown our brains are wired to give because they prolong positive emotions from such interactions. Positive Psychology confirms this and gives us a model we can use to become productive achievers: PERMA.

It always comes back to one simple question:
Do you have a Caring Catalyst Heart.        .        .
There’s only one way to truly answer:
G     I     V     E            I     T

E M B A R R A S S E D

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What’s your most embarrassing moment?

Can you share it and not still feel embarrassed?

How many people know about this most embarrassing moment you’ve ever had?

 Who is involved in it.          .          .

Who sought out this most embarrassing incident you ever had.       .        .

 I always thought it was when I filed for bankruptcy;

 when I got a divorce;

when I got fired from a job;

when I failed a test and was called out in front of the whole 6th grade class;

 when I wasn’t able to show up more times than not to one of my kids or grandkids activities;

 when I said the wrong hurtful thing in front of a crowd

 at my student church when I had a Huge Freudian slip and directed peoples attention to the beautiful CENTERFOLD on the piano instead of the floral CENTERPIECE PIECE;

T           R           U           T           H.           .           .

When I saw this video I became embarrassed.          .           .

I became embarrassed

because I’ve had the biggest lead in my life

and I don’t know that I’ve done much with it.          .          .

or as much as I absolutely could have done

W  I  T  H    I  T;

especially when compared to others

I’ve been light years ahead because of

M  Y       P  R  I  V  I  L  E  G  E

F               A               C             T :

I can’t think of one thing

that would be more embarrassing

literally for the rest of my life:

After seeing this small clip not been different because of it or worse living differently

Y   o   u.             .             .

Are you embarrassed,

even slightly

because, like me,

you’ve gotten this tremendous head start

and not done as much as you could/would/should have.          .          .

L  I  K  E    M  E

it doesn’t make us better RACERS

It doesn’t make us more Competitive

It doesn’t make us more Hall of Fame Champions

It  just  makes  me  Embarrassed;

Even more Embarrassed

if  it  comes  across

P            R            E            A            C            H           Y

because’s there a Scripture at the end

THAT EVERY MAJOR RELIGION

and all the minor Ones 

e s p o u s e:

L O V E      O N E     A N O T H E R
I  N     W O R D,   T A L K,    I N    D E E D,   A N D     I N    T R U T H

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.          .          .

doesn’t    that     apply    to    all    of    us.       .       .

or   is   it   too

E         M         B         A         R         R         A         S         S         I         N         G

t o    a d m i t

?

What’s The Use(s)

By 2 Comments

ARE  YOU  T H A T  ARTIST

in your life.       .       .

In Another’s.         .        .

Are you The Christoper Columbus in Search of the lost Continent in you.     .     .     ?

7 lessons about finding the work you were meant to do.        .         .

I love articles like this

because they imply something magical could happen to you

if you just followed

THE STEPS

THE GUIDELINES

THE MAP

THE PERSONAL GPS

THE.     .     .THE.      .      .THE.     .     .THE.     .     .THE.     .     .THE.     .     .THE.     .    .

Apr 29, 2016 reaches back and shows us the vast possibilities.          .          .

Emily Pidgeon

You don’t “find your calling,” you fight for it — and other lessons from people who found their passion (sometimes late in life).

Whether it was during a career aptitude test or in a heart-to-heart chat after getting laid off, chances are someone has talked to you about how to “find your calling.” It’s one of those phrases people toss about. But StoryCorps founder Dave Isay takes issue with it … specifically, the verb.

“Finding your calling — it’s not passive,” he says. “When people have found their calling, they’ve made tough decisions and sacrifices in order to do the work they were meant to do.”

In other words, you don’t just “find” your calling — you have to fight for it. And it’s worth the fight. “People who’ve found their calling have a fire about them,” says Isay, the winner of the 2015 TED Prize. “They’re the people who are dying to get up in the morning and go do their work.”

Over a decade of listening to StoryCorps interviews, Isay noticed that people often share the story of how they discovered their calling — and now, he’s collected dozens of great stories on the subject into a new book, Callings: The Purpose and Passion of Work. Below, he shares 7 takeaways from the hard-won fight to find the work you love.

1. Your calling is at the intersection of a Venn diagram of three things: doing something you’re good at, feeling appreciated, and believing your work is making people’s lives better. “When those three things line up, it’s like lightning,” Isay says. He doesn’t suggest that a person has to be a surgeon saving lives to feel like they have a calling; think of the diner waitress who talks to customers and makes them feel loved. How do you find this overlap? “You have to shut out all the chatter of what your friends are telling you to do, what your parents are telling you to do, what society is telling you to do,” Isay says, “and just go to that quiet place inside you that knows the truth.”

2. Your calling often comes out of difficult experiences. What lurks in that quiet place will be a defining experience — quite possibly a painful one. Isay points to an interview in Callings with 24-year-old teacher Ayodeji Ogunniyi. “He was studying to be a doctor when his father was murdered. He realized that what he was really meant to do was be a teacher,” says Isay. “He says that every time he walks into a classroom, his father is walking in with him.” This theme of people turning their hardest experiences into a new path runs throughout the book. “Having an experience that really shakes you and reminds you of your mortality can be a very clarifying event in people’s lives. Oftentimes, it leads to changes,” he says. “We spend a lot of time working, so it can really change your priorities in terms of work life.”

3. Calling often takes courage and ruffles feathers. Elsewhere in Callings, we hear about Wendell Scott, who became the first African-American NASCAR driver in 1952, and kept on driving despite threats against his life. From scientist Dorothy Warburton who dealt with extreme sexism as she conducted research to break the stigma around miscarriage. From Burnell Cotlon, who opened the first grocery store in the Lower 9th Ward after Hurricane Katrina because he wasn’t about to let his old neighborhood’s spirit fade. Calling, says Isay, very often starts with taking a stand against a status quo that simply isn’t acceptable, and then dedicating your work to changing it: “It’s work ignited by hope, love, or defiance — and stoked by purpose and persistence.”

4. Other people often nudge you toward calling. Sharon Long had worked odd jobs most of her life. As Isay tells it, “Her daughter was going to college, and as the bursar was helping them with financial aid forms, she said quietly to herself, ‘I wish I could’ve gone to college.’ The bursar responded, ‘It’s not too late.’” Sharon enrolled in an art program, and on her advisor’s suggestion, took forensic anthropology as her science. “The advisor suggested it for no other reason than he thought it was the easiest science course for the science requirement,” says Isay. “But the minute she sat in that class, it was boom — this is what she was meant to do.” Isay tells this story to illustrate how calling, while very personal, is also relational. “People bump you this way and that way,” he says, often without realizing it. “When people find their callings, they want to honor those people who helped them get there.”

5. What comes after identifying your calling is what really matters. The old ‘finding your calling’ phraseology makes it sound like a calling is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow — you find it, and the story’s over. But Isay stresses that your calling is an ongoing process. “Understanding what your calling is — that’s very different than the blood, sweat and tears of actually doing it,” he says. Pursuing a calling may require going back to school or apprenticing; it may require starting a business. Often, notes Isay, it leads a person into a line of work that’s in service of others. “This book is basically a love letter to nurses, teachers, social workers — the people who don’t often get celebrated for the work they do,” he says.

6. Age is irrelevant. Isay found his calling when he was 21 and interviewed a man who’d been part of the Stonewall riots. “The minute I hit record, I knew that being a journalist and interviewing people was what I was going to do for the rest of my life,” he says. “I feel very lucky that lightning struck when I was very young.” But collecting stories for the book reminded him that a calling can be discovered at any age. The book includes an interview with someone who knew they wanted to be an NBA referee at age 15, and another who worked as an accountant for 30 years before discovering his passion for slicing lox. “Doing the work you’re meant to do is one of the most satisfying, remarkable experiences that a person can have,” says Isay, “so never give up.”

7. Calling often doesn’t come with a big paycheck. Another trend Isay sees in stories of people who find their calling: they often involve leaving a high-paying job for one that’s lower-paying but more satisfying. “The message we send to young people is that you want to do as little work as you can to make as much money as you can — that’s the dream,” says Isay. “But the wisdom in the StoryCorps archive is that there’s another, much more rewarding dream of taking risks and working very hard to live with integrity.” In the end, that’s the lesson he took away from writing this book. “There are no millionaires, no billionaires, no celebrities, nobody with a big Twitter following,” he says. “Just stories can teach us a lot about lives fully lived.”

Even more powerful is this one single, revelation:

The DEBUNKING of one of the worst lies ever told to you,

made even more devastating because it’s told to you by people you love;

People you admire; look up to; respect.          .          .

YOU HAVE A PURPOSE.          .          .
(NO  YOU  DON’T)

YOU HAVE A MEANING.          .          .
(THAT’S  A  LIE)

YOU HAVE A DESTINY.            .          .
(THAT’S  A  BUNCH  OF  BUNK)

YOU HAVE A REASON.             .          .
(THAT’S A CROCK OF SOMETHING STANKY YOU DON’T WANT IN YOUR PANTRY)

T          R          U          T          H :

You don’t have a Purpose

You don’t have a Meaning

You don’t have a Destiny

You don’t have a Reason.          .          .

THEY   ARE   PLURAL.          .          .

Not   SINGULAR

The Purpose
The Meaning
The Destiny
The Reason

Y   O   U

had as a infant wasn’t the one you had as a toddler or a pre-schooler or in junior high or when you graduated from high school, college, with your first full time job, when you got married, had kids, got divorced, remarried, more kids, another career, moved, had grandkids, retired.          .          .

F          A           C          T :

You’ve had more Purposes,
You’ve had more Meanings,
You’ve had more Destinies,
You’ve had more Reasons

slip through your hands than you’ve ever taken advantage;

THEY  ARE  ENDLESS

and FOREVER CHURNING IN YOU

WHAT’S     THE     USE(S)

what indeed for

N                    O                    W

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man