The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

What’s The Use(s)

By 2 Comments

ARE  YOU  T H A T  ARTIST

in your life.       .       .

In Another’s.         .        .

Are you The Christoper Columbus in Search of the lost Continent in you.     .     .     ?

7 lessons about finding the work you were meant to do.        .         .

I love articles like this

because they imply something magical could happen to you

if you just followed

THE STEPS

THE GUIDELINES

THE MAP

THE PERSONAL GPS

THE.     .     .THE.      .      .THE.     .     .THE.     .     .THE.     .     .THE.     .     .THE.     .    .

Apr 29, 2016 reaches back and shows us the vast possibilities.          .          .

Emily Pidgeon

You don’t “find your calling,” you fight for it — and other lessons from people who found their passion (sometimes late in life).

Whether it was during a career aptitude test or in a heart-to-heart chat after getting laid off, chances are someone has talked to you about how to “find your calling.” It’s one of those phrases people toss about. But StoryCorps founder Dave Isay takes issue with it … specifically, the verb.

“Finding your calling — it’s not passive,” he says. “When people have found their calling, they’ve made tough decisions and sacrifices in order to do the work they were meant to do.”

In other words, you don’t just “find” your calling — you have to fight for it. And it’s worth the fight. “People who’ve found their calling have a fire about them,” says Isay, the winner of the 2015 TED Prize. “They’re the people who are dying to get up in the morning and go do their work.”

Over a decade of listening to StoryCorps interviews, Isay noticed that people often share the story of how they discovered their calling — and now, he’s collected dozens of great stories on the subject into a new book, Callings: The Purpose and Passion of Work. Below, he shares 7 takeaways from the hard-won fight to find the work you love.

1. Your calling is at the intersection of a Venn diagram of three things: doing something you’re good at, feeling appreciated, and believing your work is making people’s lives better. “When those three things line up, it’s like lightning,” Isay says. He doesn’t suggest that a person has to be a surgeon saving lives to feel like they have a calling; think of the diner waitress who talks to customers and makes them feel loved. How do you find this overlap? “You have to shut out all the chatter of what your friends are telling you to do, what your parents are telling you to do, what society is telling you to do,” Isay says, “and just go to that quiet place inside you that knows the truth.”

2. Your calling often comes out of difficult experiences. What lurks in that quiet place will be a defining experience — quite possibly a painful one. Isay points to an interview in Callings with 24-year-old teacher Ayodeji Ogunniyi. “He was studying to be a doctor when his father was murdered. He realized that what he was really meant to do was be a teacher,” says Isay. “He says that every time he walks into a classroom, his father is walking in with him.” This theme of people turning their hardest experiences into a new path runs throughout the book. “Having an experience that really shakes you and reminds you of your mortality can be a very clarifying event in people’s lives. Oftentimes, it leads to changes,” he says. “We spend a lot of time working, so it can really change your priorities in terms of work life.”

3. Calling often takes courage and ruffles feathers. Elsewhere in Callings, we hear about Wendell Scott, who became the first African-American NASCAR driver in 1952, and kept on driving despite threats against his life. From scientist Dorothy Warburton who dealt with extreme sexism as she conducted research to break the stigma around miscarriage. From Burnell Cotlon, who opened the first grocery store in the Lower 9th Ward after Hurricane Katrina because he wasn’t about to let his old neighborhood’s spirit fade. Calling, says Isay, very often starts with taking a stand against a status quo that simply isn’t acceptable, and then dedicating your work to changing it: “It’s work ignited by hope, love, or defiance — and stoked by purpose and persistence.”

4. Other people often nudge you toward calling. Sharon Long had worked odd jobs most of her life. As Isay tells it, “Her daughter was going to college, and as the bursar was helping them with financial aid forms, she said quietly to herself, ‘I wish I could’ve gone to college.’ The bursar responded, ‘It’s not too late.’” Sharon enrolled in an art program, and on her advisor’s suggestion, took forensic anthropology as her science. “The advisor suggested it for no other reason than he thought it was the easiest science course for the science requirement,” says Isay. “But the minute she sat in that class, it was boom — this is what she was meant to do.” Isay tells this story to illustrate how calling, while very personal, is also relational. “People bump you this way and that way,” he says, often without realizing it. “When people find their callings, they want to honor those people who helped them get there.”

5. What comes after identifying your calling is what really matters. The old ‘finding your calling’ phraseology makes it sound like a calling is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow — you find it, and the story’s over. But Isay stresses that your calling is an ongoing process. “Understanding what your calling is — that’s very different than the blood, sweat and tears of actually doing it,” he says. Pursuing a calling may require going back to school or apprenticing; it may require starting a business. Often, notes Isay, it leads a person into a line of work that’s in service of others. “This book is basically a love letter to nurses, teachers, social workers — the people who don’t often get celebrated for the work they do,” he says.

6. Age is irrelevant. Isay found his calling when he was 21 and interviewed a man who’d been part of the Stonewall riots. “The minute I hit record, I knew that being a journalist and interviewing people was what I was going to do for the rest of my life,” he says. “I feel very lucky that lightning struck when I was very young.” But collecting stories for the book reminded him that a calling can be discovered at any age. The book includes an interview with someone who knew they wanted to be an NBA referee at age 15, and another who worked as an accountant for 30 years before discovering his passion for slicing lox. “Doing the work you’re meant to do is one of the most satisfying, remarkable experiences that a person can have,” says Isay, “so never give up.”

7. Calling often doesn’t come with a big paycheck. Another trend Isay sees in stories of people who find their calling: they often involve leaving a high-paying job for one that’s lower-paying but more satisfying. “The message we send to young people is that you want to do as little work as you can to make as much money as you can — that’s the dream,” says Isay. “But the wisdom in the StoryCorps archive is that there’s another, much more rewarding dream of taking risks and working very hard to live with integrity.” In the end, that’s the lesson he took away from writing this book. “There are no millionaires, no billionaires, no celebrities, nobody with a big Twitter following,” he says. “Just stories can teach us a lot about lives fully lived.”

Even more powerful is this one single, revelation:

The DEBUNKING of one of the worst lies ever told to you,

made even more devastating because it’s told to you by people you love;

People you admire; look up to; respect.          .          .

YOU HAVE A PURPOSE.          .          .
(NO  YOU  DON’T)

YOU HAVE A MEANING.          .          .
(THAT’S  A  LIE)

YOU HAVE A DESTINY.            .          .
(THAT’S  A  BUNCH  OF  BUNK)

YOU HAVE A REASON.             .          .
(THAT’S A CROCK OF SOMETHING STANKY YOU DON’T WANT IN YOUR PANTRY)

T          R          U          T          H :

You don’t have a Purpose

You don’t have a Meaning

You don’t have a Destiny

You don’t have a Reason.          .          .

THEY   ARE   PLURAL.          .          .

Not   SINGULAR

The Purpose
The Meaning
The Destiny
The Reason

Y   O   U

had as a infant wasn’t the one you had as a toddler or a pre-schooler or in junior high or when you graduated from high school, college, with your first full time job, when you got married, had kids, got divorced, remarried, more kids, another career, moved, had grandkids, retired.          .          .

F          A           C          T :

You’ve had more Purposes,
You’ve had more Meanings,
You’ve had more Destinies,
You’ve had more Reasons

slip through your hands than you’ve ever taken advantage;

THEY  ARE  ENDLESS

and FOREVER CHURNING IN YOU

WHAT’S     THE     USE(S)

what indeed for

N                    O                    W

Woodcutter’s Wisdom

By Leave a Comment

It’d be great to know. . .

wouldn’t it?

It’d be great to know what’s, literally,

D O W N T H E T R A C K. . .

W O U L D I T
D O E S I T
M A T T E R.          .          .          ?

The story has been blamed on many. . .
I’ve heard it
I’ve preached it
I’ve told it
I’ve taught it
and now, now
I’ll blog it:

Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he
was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king
coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before—such
was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a
friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend?” The man was poor
and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.One morning he
found that the horse was not in the stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your
horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How
could you ever hope to protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been too high. Now the horse is gone, and you’ve
been cursed with misfortune.”The old man responded, “Don’t speak too
quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can
you judge?”The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may
not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact
that your horse is gone is a curse.”The old man spoke again. “All I know is
that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know.
Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”The people of the village laughed. They
thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, an old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of
poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.After fifteen days,
the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him.
Once again the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses
returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can
you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole
book? You read only one word of a phrase. Can you understand the entire
phrase?”Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is a fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.””Maybe
the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild
horses had returned with one horse. With a little bit of work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.The old man had a
son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a
few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.
 
“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer
than ever.”The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a
blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in
war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were
required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded,
because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old
man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was
little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war
would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.”You
were right, old man,” they wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he
is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”The old man spoke again. “It is
impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows.
Say only this: Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows
if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God
knows.”The old man was right. We only have a fragment. Life’s mishaps
and horrors are only a page out of a grand book. We must be slow about
drawing conclusions. We must reserve judgment on life’s storms until
we know the whole story. 

 

We don’t know,
do we. . .
Is it a blessing
Is it a curse
this track
this road
this path
this way
we are on. . .


The one sure thing
maybe the only thing
is that while on the road
we travel not alone. . .

. , ,We are all on the same track. . .
just different sections of it;
so reach out and grab
H O L D
a Hand. . .
and make the
J O U R N E Y
a little easier,
a lot more enjoyable
and t h e n,
then notice
R E C O G O N I Z E
The HAND
that extends
and holds our own


Is the only hand
is the only path
is the only good and bad
is the only the happy and sad
is the only woodcutter’s wisdom
we ever need to get us down
the-not-so-easily-seen-ahead-track
that’s before us all. . .
It’s the only story that matters
and it’s not so much told
as LIVED. . .
and it’s
O U R ‘ S






OH, To Be BORED

By Leave a Comment

Being Bored Can Be Good for You—If You Do It Right. . .

I always think it would be great to be bored. . .

until I have a moment to

D O
N O T H I N G

and then

B A M
Z I P
P R E S T O

I F E E L G U I L T Y

even book in the hand
head on the chest
10 minute-power-napping it

B U T

If you’re waiting for brilliance to strike, try getting bored first. That’s the takeaway of a study published recently in the journal Academy of Management Discoveries, which found that boredom can spark individual productivity and creativity.

Those findings are likely no surprise to Sandi Mann, a senior psychology lecturer at the University of Central Lancashire in the U.K. Mann is the author of The Upside of Downtime: Why Boredom Is Good, and a proponent of embracing the emotion, negative connotations and all.

Here’s why being bored can be a good thing for your mind, imagination and productivity, and how to do it right

Boredom sparks creativity

At its core, boredom is “a search for neural stimulation that isn’t satisfied,” Mann says. “If we can’t find that, our mind will create it.” As demonstrated by the new study and plenty others before it, boredom can enable creativity and problem-solving by allowing the mind to wander and daydream. “There’s no other way of getting that stimulation, so you have to go into your head,” Mann says. You may be surprised by what you come up with when you do

Boredom is good for your mental health

Daydreaming can be “quite a respite” and provide a brief escape from day-to-day life, Mann says. But it’s also beneficial to simply step away from screens, work and other stressors long enough to feel bored. Studies have shown, for example, that modern tools including work emails, social media and dating apps can strain mental health — so taking a break can be a valuable opportunity to recharge.

How to be bored the right way

Mann says it’s important not to conflate boredom with relaxation. A purposefully tranquil activity, such as yoga or meditation, likely doesn’t meet the definition of trying and failing to find stimulation.

It’s also crucial to unplug during this time, Mann says. Our cultural attachment to our phones, she says, is paradoxically both destroying our ability to be bored, and preventing us from ever being truly entertained.

“We’re trying to swipe and scroll the boredom away, but in doing that, we’re actually making ourselves more prone to boredom, because every time we get our phone out we’re not allowing our mind to wander and to solve our own boredom problems,” Mann says, adding that people can become addicted to the constant dopamine hit of new and novel content that phones provide. “Our tolerance for boredom just changes completely, and we need more and more to stop being bored.”

Next time you find yourself in line at the grocery store, in a tedious meeting or killing time in a waiting room, resist the urge to scroll. You’re bound to get bored — and your brain, mood and work performance just might improve. . .

Ohhhhhhhh to be bored

until you have

just a single-solitary-moment
to be even slightly disinterested

and then we do everything we can

even if
especially if
it’s because of our own
self-imposed-guilt

DO IT

FIGHT THE URGE

GET YOUR BOREDOM ON
(just a little)

How to END Resolutions

By 2 Comments

Lot of questions.       .       .

especially when it surrounds

R E S O L U T I O N S.           .          .

DO   YOU

Make   T H E M

Keep   T H E M

Break  T H  E  M

.          .          .Uhhhhhhhhhh just like everything else.          .          .

There’s a SCIENCE

To Resolutions

and Most Definitely why they just don’t work.          .          .

GOOD  NEWS ?

Only If there’s another alternative.          .          .

one that
T H E   S T U D I E S

tell us are much more effective:

H                 A                 B                 I                  T                 S

How many New Year’s resolutions have you made in your life? How many have you successfully accomplished? The estimate is that less than 10% of New Year’s resolutions are actually achieved (University of Scranton Psychology Professor John C. Norcross, Ph.D.). There’s a lot of homespun folksy advice out there this time of year about how to make sure you reach your New Year’s goals, but I thought I’d share the actual science of how to change behavior.

There’s two main lines of brain and behavior science that influence New Year’s resolutions: The science of habits and the science of self-stories.

Let’s start with the science of habits.

A lot of New Year’s resolutions have to do with making new habits or changing existing ones. If your resolutions are around things like eating healthier, exercising more, drinkingless, quitting smoking, texting less, spending more time “unplugged” or any number of other “automatic” behaviors then we are talking about changing existing habits or making new habits. Habits are automatic, “conditioned” responses. You get up in the morning and stop at Starbucks for a pastry and a latte. You go home at the end of work and plop down in front of the TV.  Here’s what you need to know about the science of changing existing habits or making new ones:

  • Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not hard to change habits IF you do so based on science.
  • To change a new habit you essentially have to create a new one, so whether you are changing an existing habit or creating a new one, the “scientific” method for doing so is the same.
  • You have already created literally HUNDREDS of habits that you have now, and you don’t even remember how they got started, so creating habits can’t be that hard or you wouldn’t have so many of them!

To create a new habit you have to follow these three steps (based on B.J. Fogg and Charles Duhigg)

  1. You MUST pick a small action. “Get more exercise” is not small. “Eat healthier” is not small. This is a big reason why New Year’s resolutions don’t work. If it’s a habit and you want a new one it MUST be something really small. For example, instead of “Get more exercise” choose “Walk 1/3 more than I usually do” or “Take the stairs each morning to get to my office, not the elevator”, or “Have a smoothie every morning with kale in it”. These are relatively small actions.
  2. You MUST attach the new action to a previous habit. Figure out a habit you already have that is well established, for example, if you already go for a brisk walk 3 times a week, then adding on 10 more minutes to the existing walk connects the new habit to an existing one. The existing habit “Go for walk” now becomes the “cue” for the new habit: “Walk 10 more minutes.” Your new “stimulus-response” is Go For Walk (Stimulus) followed by “Add 10 minutes.” Your existing habit of “walk through door at office” can now become the “cue” or stimulus for the new habit of “walk up a flight of stairs.” Your existing habit of “Walk into the kitchen in the morning” can now be the stimulus for the new habit of “Make a kale smoothie.”
  3. You MUST make the new action EASY to do for at least the first week. Because you are trying to establish a conditioned response, you need to practice the new habit from the existing stimulus from 3 to 7 times before it will “stick” on its own. To help you through this 3 to 7 times phase make it as EASY as possible. Write a note and stick it in your walking shoe that says “Total time today for walk is 30 minutes”. Write a note and put it where you put your keys that says: “Today use the stairs.” Put the kale in the blender and have all your smoothie ingredients ready to go in one spot in the refrigerator

E                  A                    S                    Y   ?

If you take these three steps and you practice them 3 to 7 days in a row your new habit will be established.

Now let’s tackle the science of self-stories

The best (and some would say the only) way to get a large and long-term behavior change, is by changing your self-story.

Everyone has stories about themselves that drive their behavior. You have an idea of who you are and what’s important to you. Essentially you have a “story” operating about yourself at all times. These self-stories have a powerful influence on decisions and actions.

Whether you realize it or not, you make decisions based on staying true to your self-stories. Most of this decision-making based on self-stories happens unconsciously. You strive to be consistent. You want to make decisions that match your idea of who you are. When you make a decision or act in a way that fits your self-story, the decision or action will feel right. When you make a decision or act in a way that doesn’t fit your self-story you feel uncomfortable.

If you want to change your behavior and make the change stick, then you need to first change the underlying self-story that is operating. Do you want to be more optimistic? Then you’d better have an operating self-story that says you are an optimistic person. Want to join your local community band? Then you’ll need a self-story where you are outgoing and musical.

In his book, Redirect, Timothy Wilson describes a large body of impressive research of how stories can change behavior long-term. One technique he has researched is “story-editing”:

  1. Write out your existing story. Pay special attention to anything about the story that goes AGAINST the new resolution you want to adopt. So if your goal is to learn how to unplug and be less stressed, then write out a story that is realistic, that shows that it’s hard for you to de-stress, that  you tend to get overly involved in dramas at home or at work.
  2. Now re-write the story — create a new self-story. Tell the story of the new way of being. Tell the story of the person who appreciates life, and takes time to take care of him/her-self.

The technique of story-editing is so simple that it doesn’t seem possible that it can result in such deep and profound change. But the research shows that one re-written self-story can make all the difference.

I’ve tried both of these techniques — creating new habits using the 3-step method, and creating a new self-story. The research shows they work, and my own experience shows they work.

Give it a try. What have you got to lose? This year use science to create and stick to your New Year’s resolutions.

What do you think? What has worked for you in keeping your resolutions?

References

Timothy Wilson’s book, Redirect

Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit:

The NEXTING

By 2 Comments

Unknown

The road was before him.       .       .

After taking such a long time to look at it and get advice on what steps to take, what was ahead and how it was to be best traveled; after getting detailed maps and marking off the best, most direct routes, firing up the most sophisticated of GPS Systems, he finally started off with one  s i n g l e   s t e p

M       O       M       E       N       T       O       U       S

One    Solitary   Step

was all it really took for the journey.    .    .and it was quite an excursion!

He walked and ran and then walked  and ran some more.

 One step sometimes was more similar than the one before,

but he walked on;

Sometimes, he ran faster;

Sometimes, he crawled slower;

Sometimes, he just stood still, not moving even an inch for days.        .        .

P       A       R       A       L       Y       Z       E       D

The road never much accommodated him.  It never took one step for him or moved him forward.  At times it would present him challenges.  Because of it’s flaws he would slip, fall, get scrapped and cut, bloodied and bruised.  Exhausted most of the time from his seemingly never ending wanderings, the road would never assist him, but it did just what a road was suppose to do:

P    R    O    V    I    D    E           P    A    S    S    A    G    E

U               N               T               I               L  .         .         .  

He came to that ominous  FORK  in the Road.        .        .

It wasn’t the first one he had ever seen or even had been confronted, but this was a  monumental fork;  

at least he made it be so.        .        .

Maybe it was out of frustration. Maybe it was inspiration or just plain desperation or exasperation, but he didn’t choose left or right this time.  He went straight
ahead.      .      .tore up his maps, unheeded his expensive advice, became deaf to the pleading-ever-rerouting-of the GPS; discarded his vast experience and he  trudged on.         .        .

His every step was a new road planted and his heart palpitated with excitement, adventure and purpose until he came to the

A  P  P  A  R  E  N  T       E  N  D

Before him was a huge cater.  It was wider than he could see across, deeper than he could his eyes could focus and longer than the horizon could swallow.       .       .

It was then, unfortunately, he discovered that with each step he had taken, not only had he advanced at least one more step, but he had also erased forever the step before.

R     E     T     U     R     N

and

G   O   I   N   G      B  A  C  K

were not even concepts, let alone, possibilities.

He waited.        .        .
w       a       i       t       e       d.            .            .
at the end of his next step with all of its
e n l i g h t e n e d    d a r k e n e d    p r o m i s e.       .       .

It wasn’t in a step taken or dared,
but he had the sense as he damned his foolish actions
of   not   staying   on   the   path,    

right at
T             H             A             T
precise  moment,

A L L        R O A D S

led to the place that he was standing;
that in fact,
it would have never had mattered
which road he would have ever taken
whenever because they would have all led him
to this exact same place.            .            .

ALL     OF     THEM !

He had discovered at that flash,
t     h     e
M y s t e r y    o f    L i f e :

There’s no turning
or going back
because everything leads to where he was standing!

and an even grander enigma:

Coming to the End of the Horizon is never a Conclusion so much as a Commencement!

Head head high,
air rushing through his nostrils,
blood pulsating through his veins liked a busted dam,

h e    d i d    i t.       .       .

The wait was over.       .       .

He stepped out

One  Step

O     N     E

It took him to
t            h            a            t
place of endless beginnings;

There were no
 goings-back  

nor desire to do so.       .       .

The Step Taken,

The Chance Seized,

The Day-That-Would-Never-End,

B          E          G          U          N

F           O           R           E           V           E           R

Pssssssssssssssssssssssssst   of   the   Day:

No   need   for   a   New   Year   when   Every   Step   Brings   You   Endless  

New   Beginnings,  

Always!

W  A  L  K       O  N
w a l k  o n
w a l k
on

A D M I S S I O N S

By 2 Comments

I have shown this dozens of times in several different settings and it always seems to begin conversations and foster even deeper thoughts and feelings.       .      .

After last week’s series of pipe bomb mails,
Grocery Store
Synagogue Shootings

and a unplanned, profound discussion with friend about

G  E  T  T  I  N  G      I T

I’ve  repeatedly  had  just

One    Question?

What Props are you holding on to that keep you being truly
freely
being
y o u.          .          .

Well.          .          .

?

A STAR IS BORN

By Leave a Comment

Top selling movie over the past couple of weeks.          .          .

A third remake of

A               S  T  A  R            I  S          B  O  R  N

The worst thing about

A            S  T  A  R            I  S            B  O  R  N

isn’t a movie critic’s bad review

or petty criticisms.          .          .

The worst thing about

A            S  T  A  R            I  S            B  O  R  N

is     N  O  T

r            e            c            o            g            n            i            z            i            n            g 

the STAR  BORN  IN  YOU

never quite noticing

or passing over

d i s r e g a r d i n g

your talents

your dreams

your aspirations

your essence

Because of Someone Else’s

o p i n i o n

or lack of one

about youYou are not a firecracker

that’s mere lit and momentarily sparkles

or a nub of a candle almost burnt out

so      much      as      a

d                 i                 a                 m                 o                 n                 d

s  h  i  n  i  n  g         a   l   w   a   y   s

refusing to be seen

or  s h o w n

.          .          .d     i     s     p     l     a     y     e     d

Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:

O  P  E  N          Y  O  U  R          E  Y  E  S

BE     BLINDED

BY     YOUR     OWN

L               I               G               H               T

and then

S               H               I               N               E

e  v  e  n      b  r  i  g  h  t  e  r

 

 

A W E shucks

By Leave a Comment

W         H         E         N.          .          .

when was the last time you were

A           W          E          D

Maybe the better question.          .          .

WHEN        WILL       BE       THE       NEXT       TIME.          .          .          ?

Well.          .          .

H          E          R          E   ‘     S

Eight   Reasons   Why   Awe   Makes

YOUR  LIFE  BETTER

Research suggests that awe can make you happier, healthier, more humble, and more connected to the people around you.

Starting 15 years ago, scientists have been studying the complex and mysterious emotion called awe—one you might have felt if you’ve stood in front of the Taj Mahal, hiked among towering redwoods, or had your mind blown at a concert, play, or ballet.

Inducing goosebumps and dropped jaws, awe experiences are remarkable in their own right. Moreover, a growing body of research suggests that experiencing awe may lead to a wide range of benefits, from happiness and health to perhaps more unexpected benefits such as generosity, humility, and critical thinking.

In our busy lives, seeking awe may be low on our list of priorities. But we might be underestimating its power. “One simple prescription can have transformative effects: Look for more daily experiences of awe,” writes the Greater Good Science Center’s Dacher Keltner.

The   Science   of   Happiness   at   Work

A three-course professional certificate series that teaches you the what, why, and how of increasing happiness at work. Launches September 2018! CEs for health care professionals & HR managers

The latest research suggests that taking the time to experience awe—whether through engaging with nature, enjoying great art or music, or even bingeing on breathtaking YouTube videos—may be a pathway to improving your life and relationships.

1. Awe may improve your mood and make you more satisfied with your life

Need a mood boost or a stress slayer? Some studies suggest that experiencing awe may help.

And you don’t have to take a trip to the Grand Canyon to get the job done. Just watching awe-inducing slideshows and videos can improve your mood and well-being, according to a few studies. Another study found that people who read a short, awe-evoking story about seeing Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower reported greater life satisfaction in that moment than people who read a story about seeing a plain landscape from up high.

Of course, it’s tough to beat real-world experiences—so in a recent study, researchers took military veterans and youth from underserved communities whitewater rafting. They found that the more awe the participants experienced, the more improvement they saw in their well-being and symptoms of stress one week later. According to a different survey the researchers conducted, undergraduate students reported greater life satisfaction and well-being on days when they spent time in nature, which was attributable to the higher level of awe they felt on those days. This suggests that awe just might be a crucial ingredient in nature’s restorative powers.

2. Awe may be good for your health

Experiencing awe over time could potentially have long-term health benefits, at least according to one study. People with a greater general tendency to experience awe—but not any of the other seven positive emotions studied—had lower levels of interleukin-6 (IL-6), a marker of inflammation (too much inflammation can lead to a host of chronic diseases).

A second part of the study found that participants who reported feeling more “awe, wonder, and amazement that day” had lower levels of IL-6; this was true even after accounting for people’s general tendency to experience awe and be open to new experiences. In other words, all of us—not just people who are prone to experiencing awe frequently—may be able to reap the health benefits of a particularly wondrous day.

However, this study can’t tell us whether awe decreases inflammation or whether people with more inflammation are less likely to experience awe—a question for future research.

3. Awe may help you think more critically

Some studies suggest that awe may be able to sharpen our brains. One study found that when people were induced to feel awe, they were less persuaded by weak arguments than people who did a neutral activity (imagining doing their laundry). In contrast, some other positive emotions—like anticipatory enthusiasm or amusement—made people more susceptible to weak arguments.

Intriguingly, a recent theoretical paper argues that awe may help facilitate scientific learning and reasoning in children. For example, when a child sees an anvil and a feather drop at the same rate in a vacuum, this experience likely violates their intuitive understanding of how gravity works, evoking feelings of awe that lead them to develop a new theory about the relationships between weight, gravity, and motion.

Similarly, a recent study found that people who have a greater disposition to experience awe had a more accurate understanding of the nature of science and were more likely to reject creationism and other scientifically questionable explanations about the world. Importantly, these people didn’t have greater “faith” in science; they just understood better how science works.

4. Awe may decrease materialism

A few studies suggest that experiencing awe may dampen feelings of materialism. The experimentwith the Eiffel Tower story also found that, when given a hypothetical choice between a material good (such as a $50 backpack) or an experiential product (such as a $50 iTunes gift card), people who read the awe-inspiring story chose the experiential product more often than people in the other group did.

In another study, participants who recalled an awe experience placed less value on money than did participants who recalled a happy or neutral experience, and viewing awe-inducing images reduced the effort people were willing to put into getting money (where effort was measured by tolerance for listening to an unpleasant sound).

Why might awe decrease materialism? According to the researchers, the answer may lie in the self-transcendence that awe can inspire. “People in awe start to appreciate their sense of selfhood as less separate and more interrelated to the larger existence,” they write. “The experience of awe elevates people from their mundane concerns, which are bounded by daily experiences such as the desire for money.”

Further evidence for this idea comes from a recent study, suggesting that awe can function as a buffer against negative emotion when you lose material possessions. After time spent marveling at the world around you, misplacing your new sunglasses might not feel so bad.

5. Awe makes you feel smaller and more humble

One of the most profound effects of awe is how it can change our perception of ourselves relative to the larger world. In particular, multiple studies have shown that awe can make us feel small, diminished, or insignificant—what researchers call the “small self” effect.

In one particularly interesting study, researchers asked visitors to Yosemite National Park and Fisherman’s Wharf (a tourist area in San Francisco) about their feelings of awe and other emotions, as well as their sense of self. Tourists at Yosemite reported experiencing significantly more awe, represented their current self with smaller circles (when given a choice of sizes), and drew self-portraits that were nearly 33 percent smaller than tourists at Fisherman’s Wharf.

Besides making people feel physically smaller, awe may also make people more humble. One recent study found that people who are more naturally prone to experiencing awe felt more humility and were rated as more humble by their friends. Experimentally inducing participants to feel awe led them to acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses in a more balanced way and to better recognize how outside forces contributed to their successes.

6. Awe can make you feel like you have more time

Awe may also expand our perception of time. One study found that people induced to feel awe felt less impatient and agreed more strongly with statements suggesting that time is plentiful and expansive than people induced to feel happiness. The researchers speculate that by immersing us in the moment, awe may allow us to savor the here and now.

“Awe-eliciting experiences might offer one effective way of alleviating the feeling of time starvation that plagues so many people in modern life,” the researchers write.

With more time on their hands, people feeling awe reported a greater willingness to offer that time to others—to volunteer their time, but not their money, to help a charity—compared to people feeling happy.

7. Awe can make you more generous and cooperative

In fact, multiple studies have found that experiencing awe may make people more kind and generous. For example, one study found that people with a greater tendency for awe were more generous in laboratory tasks like distributing raffle tickets between themselves and an unknown participant. And people who stood among awe-inspiring eucalyptus trees picked up more pens for an experimenter who had “accidentally” dropped them than people who stared up at a not-so-inspiring large building.

Together, these studies suggest that awe may prompt us to help others and to be more generous, perhaps because of the way it encourages us to focus less on ourselves and expands our perception of available time.

8. Awe can make you feel more connected to other people and humanity

Awe has an amazing capacity to bring people together. Research suggests that awe helps us feel more connected to the people in our lives and to humanity as a whole.

In one study, participants spent time near an awe-inducing Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton or in a regular hallway. When asked to describe themselves, the dinosaur viewers were more likely use universal descriptors (such as “a person” or “an inhabitant of the Earth”) rather than more specific descriptors (such as “tall,” “friendly,” or “a student”) than the other people, suggesting that awe increases our sense that we are part of a greater whole.

Another study found that people experiencing awe reported feeling more one with their community compared with people feeling neutral (an effect that may only hold for people with high self-esteem). Interestingly, another part of this study found evidence that culture may also influence awe’s effects, leading people from individualistic cultures to feel as if their social network has expanded (they feel closer to more people) and people from collectivistic cultures to feel closer to those already in their network.

As a 15-year-old science, awe research is literally in its adolescence. This means that many of the findings discussed in this article are based on very few studies (and thus should be taken with a grain of salt). What researchers don’t know about awe far eclipses what they do know. For example, we don’t know much about how awe affects children throughout development, how awe is related to religious and spiritual experiences, and how awe can be used therapeutically. And researchers are just beginning to explore the neuroscience of awe.

But with increasing interest among psychologists and the public in the topic, the future of this research looks bright—maybe even awesome.          .          .

well.          .          .

one  thing  might  be  as  certain  as  morning  and  more  real  than  night:

before you can share

a            w            e

you’ve got to be

a              w              e              d

A  W  E  D
t  o
A     W     E

(repeat   often)

WOULD YOU RATHER ?

By 4 Comments

We all believe that we are the

C        R        E        A        T        O        R        S

of our own W o r l d s.               .                 .

UNTIL     WE        ARE         NOT.          .          .

It was one of my favorite games

usually played in the back seat of our family car

on long or even not so long

T R I P S.          .          .

For the lack of a better name

we just called it

W    O    U    L    D          Y    O    U          R    A    T    H    E    R

and  it  went  like  this:

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  AN  ELEPHANT  OR  A  MOUSE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  A  MOTHER  OR  A  FATHER ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  A  RAINDROP  OR  A  SNOWFLAKE?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  A  LITTLE  RED  RIDING HOOD  OR  A  GOLDILOCKS ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  A  FARM ANIMAL  OR  A  FISH ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  A  HOT  OR  COLD ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  WORK  OR  PLAY ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  EAT  SPINACH  OR  LIVER ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  SING  OR  DANCE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  RIDE  ON  A  TRAIN  OR  A  PLANE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  WATCH  A  MOVIE  OR  A  PLAY ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  EAT  ICE  CREAM  OR  CAKE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  IT  WAS  CHRISTMAS  OR  HANUKKAH  OR  YOUR  BIRTHDAY ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  LIVE  IN  AN  IGLOO  OR  A  TEPEE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE BITTEN  BY  AN  ALLIGATOR  OR  A  SHARK ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  HAVE  GUM  ON  YOUR  SHOES  OR  DOG  POO ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  GET  ELECTROCUTED  OR  SHOT ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BURN  TO  DEATH  OR  DROWN ?

.          .          .the  WOULD  YOU  RATHERS

are endless and you might have come up with a few yourselves
(PLEASE  SHARE_______________________________________________)

AND   THEN   THERE’S    ALWAYS:

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  LOVE  FIERCELY  OR  BE  LOVED  FIERCELY ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  GET OR GIVE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER MAKE A DIFFERENCE OR BE MADE A DIFFERENCE ?

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE KIND OR BE KIND’ED

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE  COMPASSIONATE  OR  COMPASSION’ED

WOULD  YOU  RATHER  BE.           .             .

j u s t     b e 

well
then
v e r b
   i  t
  u   p.       .       .

R  A  T  H  E  R

B     E

Billion Dollar Advice

By Leave a Comment

Here’s      what’s      cool:

1 saying   ‘thank  you’
2 apologizing   when   wrong
3 showing   up   on   time
4 being   nice   to   strangers
5 listening   without   interrupting
6 admitting   you   were   wrong
7 following   your   dreams
8 being   a   mentor
9 learning   and   using   people’s   names
10 holding   doors   open

Not bad advice, huh.          .           .          ?

A       N       D.            .            .

it’s literally

p r i c e l e s s

because it doesn’t cost a thing.             .             .

no formal education or certificates necessary;

It   actually   becomes

BILLION     DOLLAR     ADVICE
when Warren Buffett tweets it out as he did a couple of weeks ago;

Does it make a difference if a no name or even I

Tell you something as opposed to the exact same advice given by a
Billionaire.          .          .

I will give you 1 billion reasons why it doesn’t

but the biggest one is

I  F
you don’t take the advice that you know is right
for you.          .          .
it   really   won’t   make   much   of   a
d          i          f          f          e          r          e          n          c          e  

I   would   rather   you   open   up   your   heart
than  your  wallet

.          .          .but make no mistake
about this
even though
it may be a more costly investment.          .          .
I  T       W  I  L  L  
be   Everlasting.          .          .

Money doesn’t solve problems people do.           .          .

Deposit   yourself

heavily in another’s personal account

and I guarantee you

b      o     t     h

will not only become richer

but so will the world.          .          .

In fact.          .          .

It’s the only

T   R   U   E         C   H   A   N   G   E

that you’ll ever really need

and more.        .       .

that’ll ever really  matter:

C   H   A–C   H   I   N   G

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man