Hoping

DID YOU SEE THE MOVIE YET. . .

It really doesn’t matter. . .

I think it should be mandatory. . .

It really doesn’t matter. . .

The reason I am sharing the clip is because

of the SPONTANEOUS REACTION

that Hugh Jackman and the Cast had

when the song,

F R O M N O W O N

over took them. . .

THEY HAD NO CONTROL;

Q U I C K:

what reaction did you have seeing this?

Don’t watch it again. . .

What is your REACTION:

Mine?

It took me to a Wednesday Night

A funeral home

5 year old boy

allegedly killed by his mother

buried in his backyard

private service

family minister not comfortable doing the service

a small group of people

wanting an answer to the questions of

W H Y

W H A T F O R

H O W C O M E

I answered by asking a question:

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE STORY

Several were told

T E A R S

L A U G H T E R

S I L E N C E

A STANDING OVATION

for a boy who could only speak 3-4 words. . .

for a boy who probably never heard a

‘That’a boy’

. . .I was in the car riding home

and I heard this song

FROM NOW ON

from THE GREATEST SHOWMAN

and when it got to the part of:

FROM NOW ON
THESE EYES WILL NOT BE BLINDED BY THE LIGHTS
FROM NOW ON
WHAT’S WAITED FOR TOMORROW STARTS
TONIGHT
LET THIS PROMISE IN ME START
LIKE AN ANTHEM IN MY HEART
FROM NOW ON
FROM NOW ON

I began to weep

but when it got to:

AND WE WILL COME BACK HOME
AND WE WILL COME BACK HOME
H O M E A G A I N

I pulled the car over and

sobbed

shook

shuddered

and I cried for this young boy

I cried for past funerals conducted

I cried for current patients and their families

I cried for past hurts

I cried for lost opportunities

I cried for Erin

I cried for my children

I cried for grandchildren

I cried for friends hurts and disappointments

I C R I E D

and healed

. . .music does that

S P O N T A N E O U S L Y

Y O U ?

I shared the video with a colleague of mine

and we both cried. . .

She had not seen the movie

but told me the clip took her to her mother’s bedside

who had just recently died. . .

I told her of the young boy. . .

I’m interested. . .

what did the spontaneity

spontaneously bring out in

Y O U ?

Did it open a door

that’s been safely locked

maybe even hidden

never knocked on

peeked behind

noticed. . .

what KEY

opens THAT door

for you?

I don’t know. . .

is a terrible answer.

Does I don’t know ever sit well with anyone, for anyone?

Does I don’t know ever make the heart beat lighter, the mind more peaceful, the soul more settled after a room full of Doctor’s all through out the day parade in, giving theories, hypothesis, checking, re-checking, testing, re-testing and after IT all

I DON’T KNOW

is the end all answer Erin and I were given after five seizures, five nights at Cleveland Clinic, numerous tests, a spinal tap, blood work and more worry than two mixed up minds could possible comprehend.

“BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, ‘I DON’T KNOW’ is the only answer there really is,” the Doctor told us before we went home.

He told us to take solace in all of the things we now know IT IS NOT: A mass or tumor, a hemorrhage or a bleed, or a stroke.

Maybe we’ve come to expect too much when it comes to our modern day medicine and our sophisticated ways of diagnosing and prognosing infections and diseases?

But out of all of the Punctuation we use or is used against us, none is more haunting or frustrating than

THE QUESTION MARK

In the three weeks, home now from the hospital, there have been a few more question marks that have arisen but most of them have become more vapor-like because as the Doctor’s promised,

“These symptoms of the headaches, ear pressure, dizziness and endurance will diminish over the next three weeks, going along with our theory that it was a viral infection that we just can’t prove in the lab.”

So life. . .like it so often does,

from the Mt Everest’s to the Dead Seas

goes on. . .

The clock’s have ticked their Toc’s

The Calendar pages have been ripped away and discarded

The Sun has risen and the moon has become full

Medicines have been taken

Meals eaten,

L I F E G O E S O N

with Periods, Commas, Exclamation points, Hyphens, Semi-Colons,

QUESTION MARKS

. . .and that IT GOES ON

dims. . .if not in fact, eliminates the

making the other side of the sheets a little more bearable

(This is the third installment of four of the ROUGH SIDE OF THE SHEETS: These are some of lessons experienced, learned, and how hopefully, shared. It’s my hope that you enjoy these journey-ings, and more, take the time to share a few of yours so that we can all learn a little more about those razor blade laden sheets…and in the sharing, soften them a little)

I Don’t Know (IS AN ANSWER)

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