Seriously what gives you that Christmas morning feeling?
Is it music is a family friends is it presence?
Is it all the food? Is it kind of anti-climatic by the time we get to THIS Christmas morning and all of the feelings have come along with it?
You know, there’s an answer to all of those questions. . .
Three simple letters
Y O UWhat say
Y O U
May all of the Lights of this Day
be yours
to see
to be
to free
in you
for others
always for Others
so that all may know
That Christmas Morning Feeling
YOUR THANKSGIVING TABLE
In this special Thanksgiving of The Caring Catalyst Blog, my invitation is to have you go and be the reason another can be thankful, because the best table to ever be around isn’t the one with endless food; it’s the one with ongoing and everlasting sustenance that satisfies every hunger, quenches every thirst, binds up every wound, and makes every heart less lonely as it welcomes, always welcomes and never disappoints.
THIS will be the mysterious blessing of:
AS YOU FEED SO SHALL YOU BE FED
and full, ever full will your Soul be. . . .
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
Even if you don’t like what folks
bring to the
T A B L E. . .
NEVER LET THEM EAT ALONE
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
SHE MAKES THINGS GROW
SHE MAKES THINGS GROW
All ground is fertile
and she proved it
by taking what had no life
L I V E
She makes my soul her soil
when she digs deeply
and prunes, sharply
The ache is more of a yearning
Ahhhhhhhh
than a moaning Owwwwwwl
She makes things grow
out of nothingness
an Everythingness
hardly without notice
but never unnotable
This is a poem I wrote a little over a year ago. Its title is the one for my sixth chapbook that I wrote as a result of the SPRING poetry challenge that demanded 15 poems in 10 days that couldn’t exceed 15 lines. It had a different theme of the day where one or two poems could be written on that given theme. The theme for this poem on this particular day was
E M E R G E N C E
S E E D S
even in the most soiled of hands
have no chance of growing
no matter how warm the wish
or fervent the prayer
b u t
BRING WHAT YOU HAVE
(who you are)
TO WHAT YOU’LL SERVE
(who you love)
AND WHA-LA
You have a magical garden
S U R P R I S E
There’s no secret to a HAPPY MARRIAGE
I can’t give you the 12 STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS
But showing up each day
with the goal to be a
BETTER ME
for a
BETTER HER
has never failed me
and it has failed me horrifically
WHEN I HAVEN’T BEEN A BETTER ME
or at least not given it a better than
half of a chance. . .
OUR BEST TIMES
HAVE BEEN SOME OF
OUR ROUGHEST TIMES
(an ohhhh, there have been some severely rough times)
because soaked, shaken and jostled about
we’ve always ended up stronger, more invincible and
C L O S E R
SHE MAKES THINGS GROW
especially when I’ve given her
some-not-always-wanted-manure
and yet
that served as some of the richest fertilizer
to some of the
greatest growth
that could never really been imagined
. . .only experienced
38 Years ago,
on June 9, 1986
the day after we got married
we were laying by the hotel pool we had all to ourselves
talking about the future;
we both assumed we’d never see 50 years together
because of our ages
and then
like now
have never been bothered much by how much time we’ve got
because of the time
WE HAVE
(and so the message that I usually include in each wedding ceremony
I conduct, is the message we’ve always taken to heart)
. . .Marriage is
HARD WORK
but it’s the best job
you’ll ever had. . .
I may have seemingly had The World to give
but Erin’s always had the grace to
bring me Home
We’ve been able to show each other
what we could have never seen alone. . .
SHE MAKES THINGS GROW
Pssssssssssssssssssssst:
Take it from a Drain
who’s been transformed into a
f o u n t a i n. . .
JUST BEING THANKFUL
Listen, I’m always good for a full turkey dinner with all of the fixings and often get it at one of our local diner favorites, MY FRIENDS.
(uhhhh yeah, I’m grateful for THAT, too)
D E L I S H
So why not a little gratefulness with all of it’s fixings just because it gives more than it promises when you’re feeling it the most. . .
DO YOU KNOW THE GREATEST THING ABOUT BEING
THANKFUL. . . ?
YOU DON’T HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THANKSGIVING TO BE
T H A N K F U L
. . .SO WHAT ARE YOU
WAITING FOR?
Every once in a while, this song, Nilly Willy pops up on my playlist. It always stops me in my tracks. It usually guts me in such way that I don’t even know I’ve been filleted, but I also know I’m different because of hearing it. I’ve posted this before but maybe it’s gonna pop up right now on this blog post today at a time where you need gutted or filleted and you didn’t even know that you needed it but you’re so grateful that it happened anyway.
ENJOY. . .
From one grateful Caring Catalyst to another now grateful Caring Catalyst.
Enjoy, indeed. . .
Things I’m Thankful For By JJ Heller, David Heller and Melanie Penn
Morning light Starry nights There’s so much good in the world Happy songs Sing along These are the things I’m thankful for
Skipping stones Feeling known The click of my key in the door Summer rain On window panes These are the things I’m thankful for I would know just what to say if you asked me What my favorite is Of all of the wonder in all of the world You’re at the top of my list
Holding hands Weekend plans And finding out what love is for Open spaces Fireplaces These are the things I’m thankful for
I would know just what to say if you asked me What my favorite is Of all of the wonder in all of the world You’re at the top of my list
It’s how you keep Showing me Everything that I missed before But I see ‘em now Too many to count All of the things I’m thankful for These are the things I’m thankful for
THE SHAPE YOU’RE IN
Grant Snider over atIncidental Comics
reminds us:“The stories we tell ourselves shape our reality. We may try to box ourselves in, but we’re much more expansive and multifaceted than we think. Maybe if we tried to count our sides, they’d approach infinity—like a circle.”
(My thanks to Grant Snider.
RESOLUTIONS
W E L L. . .
ARE YOU A RESOLVER?
Another way to ask that question is:
ARE YOU A RESOLVING RESOLVER
or do you even try
or do you even care. . .
IN EVERY CASE
(and a few in between)
Here are
9 Mental-Health Resolutions for 2024, According to Therapists
Whether you feel reborn—or even just a little bit reset—at the start of a new year, consider making your mental health a priority in 2024. Why? “Because that’s the gateway to everything else,” says Guy Winch, a clinical psychologist, author of Emotional First Aid, and co-host of the Dear Therapistspodcast. “It’s the linchpin that allows you to succeed or to fail.”
With that in mind, we asked Winch and other experts to share the New Year’s resolutions they wish people would make in the name of mental health.
1. Rethink your social-media use
Spend some time reflecting on whether you’d like to continue with the same online habits in 2024, says Nedra Glover Tawwab, a therapist and author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. (If it’s hard to stop scrolling long enough to have an earnest conversation with yourself, take it as a sign that you need a change.) “Do you want to set some boundaries for yourself? Are there people you need to unfollow?” asks Tawwab. For example, you might limit yourself to 15 minutes on social media per day—or delete the most time-sucking apps from your phone during the work week. You could also challenge yourself not to check social media when you’re feeling glum, which is like throwing fuel on an already simmering fire. “The top of the year is a great time to consider how you want to do the rest of the year,” Tawwab says.
2. Reconnect with a long lost friend
That old adage—”Make new friends, but keep the old”—is one to live by, especially considering that loneliness affects physical and mental health, while strong social bonds are a salve. In 2024, Winch suggests resolving to reach out to “one person you lost touch with who used to be dear to you.” If you’re not sure how to open the conversation, he recommends sending a text message like this: “I was thinking about you. It’s been so long. How are you?” End the note with a smiley face, he adds. “That’s important because when you say, ‘It’s been so long,’ it can sound accusatory.” A smiley face, Winch says, can ensure the real meaning— “I miss you”—comes across.
Americans have an empathy deficit, says Calvin Fitch, a clinical health psychologist with Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School. He believes fostering empathy is the antidote to the divisiveness ripping society apart. “The fortunate thing about empathy is that it can be trained,” he says. “It can grow.”
3. Develop empathy for someone different from you
In 2024, connect with someone from a group you have a moderate level of difficulty understanding, Fitch suggests. You could follow someone from a different political, religious, or ethnic background on social media, spend time in their community, or even read about a fictional character from that group. “Aim to understand their perspective and read their emotions,” he says. “Try to be able to thoughtfully answer these questions: What makes this person happy? What makes them worried? What are their dreams? What experiences and emotions have shaped their world view? And how are their thought patterns similar to mine?” As Fitch points out, people with high levels of empathy tend to function better in society than those with low levels—with more robust social networks and closer relationships.
4. Stop ruminating about work
This can be the year you stop spending evenings replaying upsetting thoughts about the workday, or engaging in fantasy duels with your rude boss. The simplest way to counteract these unproductive thoughts—which might trigger a visceral stress response, like chest tightness—is to convert whatever you’re ruminating about into a problem-solving question, Winch says. Say you’re spiraling over how much work you have to do and how you’ll never get it done. “That’s the ruminative thought,” Winch says. “The problem-solving version is a scheduling question. When do I have time to deal with the thing that’s bothering me? What can I move or reprioritize? Do I need to look at my schedule to reassure myself I do have time?” Figuring that out, he says, allows you to “ease the stress and distress and continue on with your evening.”
5. Slate four activities each week
One way to buffer ourselves against life’s stressors is to engage in a wide variety of activities, Fitch advises. First, seek out something that’s pleasurable, like going to a football game or belting out your favorite Taylor Swift album. This sort of fun activity “decreases your reactivity to stress by helping you accumulate more positive events than negative ones,” he says. Then check off a “mastery activity,” like cleaning your house or running errands you’ve been delaying. You might not want to do them, but you’ll almost certainly feel better once they’re done. Also key are being social—a sense of belonging facilitates better health—and doing physical activities that get your heart rate going.
6. Do one small thing to alleviate climate anxiety
If you’re distressed about the state of the planet—and more of us are—festering in your thoughts will likely exacerbate the situation. Instead, take a cue from Winch’s family: Each year, they pledge to do one thing to ease their climate anxiety, like eliminating plastic bags, composting food scraps, or walking 15 minutes to nearby destinations in lieu of driving. “It’s overwhelming—I feel like I can’t get my arms around it,” he says. “But doing one small thing is a way of feeling like you’re upping your game.”
7. Write a thank you letter
Being grateful is linked with an array of benefits, including improved mental health—but that hinges on practicing it in a way that feels natural to you. Once a year or so, Winch likes to write a thank you letter to someone who did a small thing that they might not have realized had a big impact on him. “I tell them the context, and I tell them why I’m reminding them of something they have no recollection of,” he says. Once, he reached out to someone he had shared a summer house rental with years prior. The two are now close friends, but at the time, they didn’t know each other—yet the then-stranger had picked up a set of toiletries for him, since there weren’t any there. “It was so lovely and considerate and warm,” he says, and helped him feel immediately at ease. Now, thanks to Winch’s letter, his friend knows exactly how he feels—a boon for both of them.
8. Write ‘you time’ into your schedule every day
It could be just 10 minutes twice a day. The key is embracing designated time that’s all about you—and making it a standing meeting on your calendar. That way, “it’s seen as just as productive as any other business appointment you have,” says Kelsey Latimer, a clinical psychologist based in Florida. You might go on a quick walk outside, do some stretches, or close your eyes and embark on a guided meditation, she suggests. Silence your phone and close your office door (or Slack app) to let the people around you know you’re briefly unavailable. You’ll be much happier, and feel more energized, the rest of the day.
9. Check in with a professional
You could set all the mental-health resolutions in the world and still benefit from talking with a therapist or other licensed professional—someone who’s trained to help you optimize your well-being. If you’ve been to therapy in the past, the start of the year is a terrific time to schedule a catch-up session, Tawwab says; if it’s a new idea, check a directory like those run by Psychology Today or Good Therapy to find someone who’s available and affordable near you. “Do a mental health check-in just to make sure those bigger things are addressed, and to get their opinion on things that are coming up,” she notes. A therapist will be able to arm you with the tools you need to thrive in 2024—and beyond.
DO-ABLE. . .
Maybe the real question, the truest question is
IS IT WANT-ABLE. . .
M E. . .
I just want to
WAKE UP STUPID EVERYDAY;
TO TRULY WAKE UP EVERY MORNING
AND KNOW THAT I DON’T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS
AND I NEED TO LOOK AT EVERY MAJOR CHALLENGE
THROUGH FRESH EYES. . .
FREEZE THE FRAME
We all have those
FREEZE THE FRAME MOMENTS
that make memories even more precious than they are
especially this time of the year. . .
This is one of my
FREEZE THE FRAME MOMENTS. . .
This picture of my sister and I was taken in front of my grandparents fireplace on a Christmas morning. I was two and my sister was 4. It was before my two other brothers were born. I have no idea what I got for Christmas that morning but I know the people who gave me the gifts loved me and even in death, still do which is
THE BEST GIFT OF ALL. . .
What’s your
FREEZE THE FRAME MOMENT?
No matter what they may have been
or even if they are in the making
it allows us to know that our
M E M O R I E S
mean
N O T H I N G
unless
L O V E
is attached to them
and then they are everything they are
everything they were
and everything they’re to become
FREEZE THE FRAME
and may your greatest memories
be those yet to be
f r a m e a b l e
YOUR REMEMBER WHEN’ER
This video has been making it’s rounds as the Holiday season is in full force unfolding before us. No matter what we believe or in what various moods/feelings we are treading or at times, seemingly drowning in, Holidays or not, it goes to the heart of our remembering, our once upon a times, that at times feels like hugging a porcupine and yet we squeeze all the more harder to keep those memories close and to actually do all we can to bring them back to vivid, living color so that we can feel all that is good, all that is love, all that once upon a time was. . .
Sometimes it’s not so much
WHAT YOU REMEMBER
as
T H A T
you are
R E M E M B E R E D. . .
Memories are precious
and the only things more important:
THE MEMORIES YET TO BE CREATED. . .
this holiday season
May your greatest memories
be those you’ve yet to create
(but undoubtedly will)
Let your Remember’er
bring you
what
THE NEW
sometimes can never quite promise
(and may your Remember’er do it often)
CONFETTI THOUGHTS
SOME call it a lack of focus
SOME call it A D D
SOME call it daydreaming
SOME call it mind flutterings
SOME call it word salad
SOME call it mind confetti
SOME call it brain diarrhea
SOME just call
and here’s some of mine
which WARNING, WARNING, WARNING
may cause a few some of your
WHATEVER-YOU-CALL-IT’S
of your own:
Sometimes we have to dance to music we don’t even like
* * *
The edge of the sacred is a lot more closer to your center than you know
* * *
It’s not swimming or bathing just because you dipped your toe in the water
* * *
BELONGING: You’ll never be accepted if you’re not accepting
* * *
What makes you think it’s not temporary especially when it feels so permanent
* * *
There’s a thin line between sacred and sacrilege with a few misplaced letters
* * *
LANE STAYING: When you’re in it, you’re criticized, when you’re out of it, you’re crucified
* * *
Living in the ‘ISH’ while living with the ‘ISM’S’
* * *
How we see ourselves may be contorted and at the same time distinctly accurate
* * *
The Village in you is so much needed by the Village in another
* * *
When the terrible inevitable is there, so is your presence
* * *
IS THIS AN ACT OF LOVE is the only question needed in asking before proceeding with anything
* * *
When you fish with a worm of worry you’ll catch a whale of unnecessary pain
* * *
There’s a difference between education and learning–Know/Show it
* * *
Expectations are resentments waiting to happen
* * *
The worst kind of water walking is when you choose not to do it
* * *
LIGHT can always be squeezed from darkness, most of the time without much pressure
* * *
Living in the THEN instead of the NOW will never get you to the WHEN
* * *
If you’re going to look back, give yourself a better reason to look forward
* * *
It’s one thing to give life and another to add direction and meaning to it
* * *
The problem with RED FLAGS is all of us at times are color blind
* * *
We agree to disagree until we don’t
* * *
What I think is real, what I do is true
* * *
Live AS IF always
* * *
WHEW. . Right?
MIND DUMPINGS
which is quite a bit different than the normal
PHOTO DUMPS
after a vacation or a family gathering or. . .
Just the same, maybe this will all give you permission to have some
MIND DUMPINGS
of your own. . .
Let your
CONFETTI THOUGHTS
fly and flutter about
(and who knows, where they land they just might be the seeds sewn worth sprouting)
NEVER TOO EARLY
W E L L. . . ?
Is it still too early to celebrate Christmas?
(only 40 days away)
Yeah, it’s time for that debate again S O. . .
what say you?
Naomi Ludlow from USA TODAY took a real good look at this and had some interesting facts and fictions. I was actually in COSTCO over the Labor Day weekend and BAM there was just a small aisle of Christmas trees and lights. Now that Halloween marked the end of spooky season and is a full two weeks behind us, there’s a constant debate on when we should start celebrating Christmas. In recent years, we’ve seen the festive period creep in as early as Nov. 1. Sirius/XM Radio already has there stations blaring the Christmas tunes and families put up decorations and some get a head start on buying presents because there are BLACK FRIDAY sales before Black Friday now.
And so the now-annual debate has begun: When is the “proper” time to start decking the halls, decorating the Christmas tree and belting out those merry songs?
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
I never take mine down, we just decorate it for the different seasons/holiday’s as they come and go
Social media starts popping with personal opinions, with some demanding all Christmas cheer cease and desist until Thanksgiving has been observed, while other Santa Claus celebrants proclaim Dec. 1 as the official start of the season.
And then of course there are the uber-eager fans, including the self-proclaimed “Queen of Christmas,” Mariah Carey, who say Nov. 1 is the right time to kick off the holiday season.
Yet even as the start of the holiday remains up for debate, there’s more than just personal traditions and preferences on the line. Regardless of where you may fall on this seasonal battle, there are some very real reasons why some people decide to start the celebrations long before what others may believe appropriate.
Christmas lights before Thanksgiving:There’s a reason behind the ‘act of kindness,’ experts say
Holiday traditions bring comfort to some,
but sadness to others
The past two years have been a time of isolation and new norms that sent many into a frenzy. The same goes for how we’ve celebrated the holidays. Families adjusted by having virtual gatherings, but for many, the joy of the season remained.
For most people, the holidays are a time to step away from normal routines, reconnect with family and close friends, and destress.
“We’re kind of stuck in the day-to-day and putting out fires in our lives, but taking the time to prioritize some celebrations with friends and family really creates positive feelings and helps us enjoy life,” said clinical psychologist Ryan Howes.
Thus a reason for some to want to capitalize on as many holiday events as possible – to give people hope of the better times that are ahead.
“For many people, the holidays are associated with positive emotional arousal,” psychotherapist Owen O’Kane told USA TODAY. The Sunday Times bestselling author continued, “And that could be linked to the fact that many people associate the holiday period with warmth, family, nostalgia and connection.”
Leading up to the holiday season, people look forward to their established family traditions and often set expectations linked to their fond childhood memories. A scientific study showed that when humans set expectations for pleasure, we produce dopamine, which is a chemical messenger that tells the brain how happy we feel.
On the other hand, some people don’t see the holidays as a fond memory. This time can cause stress and be difficult to get through. These people will produce chemicals such as cortisol and adrenaline, according to O’Kane.
Oftentimes, those who dread the holiday season are trying to overcome hardships, whether it’s dealing with issues such as grief, family disputes, and drug and/or alcohol abuse.
We may crave those Christmas memories
As humans, we recall memories through our five senses, with smell being the most prominent.
When we smell freshly baked cookies, it can take us to a time we spent making cookies with Grandma. Seeing twinkly lights helps us remember the time Dad almost fell off the ladder while trying to decorate the house. Touching an old ornament brings back the memory of making it with siblings. This is called sensory activation and is a leading reason why the holidays are highly anticipated.
Retailers play a big part in activating our senses. They understand how our minds work and want us to participate in the process.
“The next time you go to the department store and you look at the amount of effort into how displays are laid out, how lighting is done, how colors are used, how music is used in the background, all of it is used very cleverly to stimulate us,” O’Kane told USA TODAY.
The layout forces the consumer to feel the holiday vibe and urges them to buy gifts. This is just one of the tactics besides holiday deals to get people involved.
Colors also impact how we participate in the season.
“Red stimulates and energizes – even our spending. Waitresses wearing red receive 14 to 26% higher tips than waitresses wearing any other color uniform,” according to a Psychology Today article. “Green is an optimistic color associated with luck and wealth. It’s also been shown to have a positive effect on creativity. A possible explanation for some of the more unusual gifts found under the tree.”
So why not start celebrating now?
Dread, overstimulation and even disappointment keep people from wanting to participate in the holiday season.
A study on the Christmas blues shows that the holidays may increase stress before they start and could increase uneasy feelings afterward. There are a number of reasons this can happen, including finances, grief, loneliness, estrangement, or divorce or pleasing.
All of the expectations we set in the beginning of the season are far more exciting than the actual holiday, Howes told USA TODAY. But sometimes we are faced with disappointment if things didn’t go as planned.
O’Kane suggested we create a balance so we aren’t overwhelmed as the season approaches and aren’t disappointed at the end.
SO WHICH ARE YOU ?
If you follow me at all over social media, you know I’m a big-never-stop-never-let-go-of-celebrating-Christmas. Some would say, I’m a walking/talking/living
Christmas Card
But
with a purpose and a strong reason and a powerful meaning:
TO TAKE THE FEELING
TO HAVE THE KINDNESS
TO ALLOW THE SPECIALNESS OF THIS SEASON
to be a part of our
e v e r y d a y s
(which is why I post a Christmas picture the 25th of each month so that we literally can
PRACTICE MERRY CHRISTMAS
So let the stories be read
let the stories be told
and most of all,
LET THEM BE WRITTEN AND RE-WRITTEN
in each of us as we celebrate in our own ways
and hopefully be the reason and a part of another’s
celebration
AND THEN THERE’S THIS:
Maybe the greatest gift you may be able to give during these upcoming days
is the greatest gift Another can receive:
T O L E R A N C E
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