WOW. . .
how could it be that this movie,
THE DEAD POET’S SOCIETY
came out in. . .
ANY GUESSES?
1 9 8 9
A new English teacher, John Keating (Robin Williams), is introduced to an all-boys preparatory school that is known for its ancient traditions and high standards. He uses unorthodox methods to reach out to his students, who face enormous pressures from their parents and the school. With Keating’s help, students Neil Perry (Robert Sean Leonard), Todd Anderson (Ethan Hawke) and others learn to break out of their shells, pursue their dreams and seize the day.
AND IT BEGS
THIS QUESTION:
Just what will your verse be?
H I N T :
If you use words
you’ve already failed. . .
Forget about iambic pentameters
or does it rhyme
is it free verse
or what the length of any poem is
You are the living version
of what needs to be seen
and experienced
and not just read
or merely written. . .
Now more than ever
the Verb of You
Your Caring Catalyst
needs to be known
more than any Noun of You
needs to be represented. . .Just sayin’. . . .
A CHANGE OF HEART

It’s been two years now. . .
not only has the our World changed dramatically because of COVID19
but quite literally, so has our
H E A R T
(l i t e r a l l y)
US News
just recently came out with some not so startling news about how this past year,
particularly, the GRIEF that it’s caused
has rewired our Hearts and our Brains. . .
AMERICAN HEART Association News, HealthDay Reporter, By Michael Merschel

On WEDNESDAY, March 10, 2021 (American Heart Association News) — Grief is a common, if not universal, human experience. But that doesn’t make it simple.
It’s psychological, but it affects people physically. It’s a matter of science, but scientists who discuss it can sound poetic. Dr. Katherine Shear, professor of psychiatry at Columbia University School of Social Work in New York, calls grief “the form that love takes when someone we love dies.”
COVID-19 has both brought grief and disrupted the way people experience it. But researchers have been examining grief since well before the pandemic.
Simply defining it can be difficult. Shear, who also is director of the Columbia Center for Complicated Grief, said “there are pretty much as many different definitions of grief as there are people.” Commonly, it’s thought of as a feeling, like sadness. That’s not wrong, she said, but it’s more accurate to call it “the response to loss,” a complex and multifaceted thing with yearning and longing at its core.
Its health implications are serious.
A 2014 study in JAMA Internal Medicine showed that within 30 days of their partner’s death, people ages 60 and older had more than twice the risk of a stroke or heart attack compared to people who hadn’t suffered such a loss. That followed a 2012 study in the American Heart Association journal Circulation showing the danger of a heart attack was highest in the first 24 hours after the death of a loved one and people with existing cardiovascular problems might be at particular risk. . .(GO AHEAD: READ THAT AGAIN!)
Other research has linked grief to disrupted sleep, immune system changes and the risk of blood clots.
Dr. Lisa M. Shulman, professor of neurology at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore, said much of the physical effect of grief stems from how our brains respond.
The stress from the death of a loved one jolts our personal identity, our view of how we fit into the world, Shulman said. It sounds like a philosophical problem, but the brain is built to perceive an existential threat as a threat to our very existence.
This triggers what most people know as the “fight or flight” response. Stress hormones course throughout the body. “Your heart starts racing, your blood pressure increases, your respiratory rate increases, you become sweaty, as the body marshals defenses for you to protect yourself, one way or another,” Shulman said.
Someone who has experienced a traumatic loss, she said, might feel such a response kick in when they enter a restaurant that reminds them of a loved one, or even when someone brings them up in conversation.
But people don’t grasp why. “Instead, you just feel this incredible, physiologic response and a rising sense of anxiety, or even panic. And you’re flummoxed by it.”
Shulman understands this firsthand. Her interest in the neurobiology of grief followed the loss of her husband, Dr. Bill Weiner, a fellow neurologist, who died of cancer in 2012.
Despite her prior experience in dealing with grieving patients, she was unprepared for it herself. The first two years, she said, were particularly difficult. At times she felt disoriented, confused, in a fog – responses that are the brain’s attempts to dissociate itself from emotional pain.
Such reactions can make a bereaved person feel isolated, she said, because people feel their problems are unique. But after writing the book “Before and After Loss: A Neurologist’s Perspective on Loss, Grief and Our Brain” and giving regular talks on the subject, she’s found talking with others can help. That is why the pandemic has made things extra difficult for people who’ve been cut off from the comfort of others.
Many people have identical experiences with grief, she said – right down to the same dreams.
“People do respond very positively to the message that the experience of grief and loss can be normalized by understanding why and what you’re feeling,” she said.
Grief can reinforce brain wiring that effectively locks the brain in a permanent stress response, Shulman said. To promote healthy rewiring, people need to strengthen the parts of the brain that can regulate that response. That can involve “a whole range of creative and contemplative practices,” from painting to meditation or expressions of faith.
Journaling helped her. By writing about disturbing memories or troubling dreams, “you can read it over in your own words and annotate it over time. And as you do that, you are becoming increasingly aware of these unprocessed thoughts, memories and emotions. And that is the way you start to rebuild more positive neural connections.”
Shear said having someone to confide in – even if it’s by video call, phone or letter – is important.
Grief, she said, is a lengthy path, marked with milestones people must face – and detours where they can get stuck. Her center offers a website full of information about grief. So does the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Grief never just goes away, Shear said. “If the loss is permanent, then so is the grief, because we’re defining it as a response to loss.”
But the way people experience grief is fluid. It can shift over the course of a day or an hour.
“It will naturally kind of surge and then recede,” she said. “We sort of oscillate between confronting the pain of the loss, and then being able to kind of set it aside or compartmentalize it.”
Eventually, it can evolve to a place where it resides mostly in the background, with only occasional periods of stronger, noticeable thoughts and feelings about the person who died. And in time, people find ways to let good memories in without triggering stress.
“We never have no response to the fact that someone we love died,” she said. “But it does change its form over time.”
American Heart Association News covers heart and brain health. Not all views expressed in this story reflect the official position of the American Heart Association. Copyright is owned or held by the American Heart Association, Inc., and all rights are reserved. If you have questions or comments about this story, please email editor@heart.org.
The Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm of the Day:
Why do we see GRIEF as a weakness;
Why do we see GRIEF as something to get OVER;
Why do we keep spelling it:
G-R-I-E-F
instead of
L- O-V-E

A CHANGE OF HEART
you betcha. . .
JUST A BEAT AWAY
McNOTICED
I got McNOTICED
yesterday morning
going through the drive through
for my egg McMuffin. . .
as he took my money,
he was staring at me
and then said,
“Sir, you had the funeral service for my grandmother,”
he swallowed hard
and his eyes filled up with tears and then he said,
“You did really, really good. . .thank you.”
We both paused
just short enough for those behind me
to begin McHONKING. . .
I swallowed just as hard
and thanked him for
(literally)
McNOTICING ME!
We both
McLAUGHED
and bid each other a good day. . .
GET McNOTICED
and more. . .
do something to make sure you’re never
McFORGOTTEN!
LET IT GO
A Ukrainian child sheltering in a bunker has received attention from Broadway star Idina Menzel and ITV’s Holly Willoughby after a video of her singing Let It Go went viral on social media. The young girl, believed to be called Amelia, was captured singing the hit from the Disney film Frozen in her native tongue from an underground bunker in the capital Kyiv, as people gathered around to watch. The video, posted to Facebook by user Marta Smekhova, has garnered more than 86,000 likes and been watched 3.6 million times since it was posted to the platform on Thursday. Menzel, who voiced the lead role of Elsa in Disney’s 2013 musical, showed her support for Amelia to her more than 680,000 followers on Twitter. The star reposted the video with yellow and a blue heart emojis and wrote: “We see you. We really, really see you.” Alongside the original video posted on Facebook, Ms Smekhova wrote that she had spoken to the little girl after spotting her drawing “bright pictures” in the dim light of the shelter. Translated from Ukrainian to English by Google, her post reads: “She told (me) that in addition to drawing she loves to sing… and whispered her dream that she wants to sing on the big stage in front of an audience. “I said do you see how many people are here? Here for them you will sing.” Ms Smekhova wrote that she was initially worried that no-one would be able to hear Amelia’s singing, but continued: “From the first word there was complete silence in the bomb shelter.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
LISTEN AGAIN
LISTEN PAST THE WORDS
LISTEN PAST THE FAMILIAR TUNE
and hear. . .
I don’t speak and certainly don’t sing Ukrainian
but I knew the song from the melody
and isn’t that a great definition of
F A I T H :
NOT ALWAYS UNDERSTANDING THE WORDS
BUT KNOWING THE MELODY
. . .there is much in this World
that makes me question
or worse,
D O U B T
but hearing that little girl’s voice
gives a little bit of boost of faith in humanity
and how it continues to excel in the
face of evil. . .
FOR TODAY
maybe that little girl’s voice
is the only bit of faith
we need right now. . .
LET IT GO
RAIN FALLS
When the rain falls
it gathers in the potholes
the dipped
not so evenly carved out
valleys
deep earth scars
that hold it
more tenderly
than Angel hugs
until unnoticed
drop by drop
they evaporate in a
Sun’s Shine
that can never be imagined
only experienced
so that it wishes
for yet another time
when the rain falls
THE POWER OF ONE
CAN ONE PERSON ACTUALLY BE A CONTAGIOUS CARING CATALYST. . .
TRY PROVING IT DIFFERENT TO
DR. PAUL FARMER

Ellen Barry and
Paul Farmer, a physician, anthropologist and humanitarian who gained global acclaim for his work delivering high-quality health care to some of the world’s poorest people, died on Monday on the grounds of a hospital and university he had helped establish in Butaro, Rwanda. He was 62.
The cause was an “acute cardiac event,” according to a statementby Partners in Health, the global public health organization that Dr. Farmer helped found.
Dr. Farmer attracted public renown with “Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, a Man Who Would Cure the World,” a 2003 book by Tracy Kidder that described the extraordinary efforts he would make to care for patients, sometimes walking hours to their homes to ensure they were taking their medication.
He was a practitioner of “social medicine,” arguing there was no point in treating patients for diseases only to send them back into the desperate circumstances that contributed to them in the first place. Illness, he said, has social roots and must be addressed through social structures.
Though he worked in the world of development, he often took a critical view of international aid, preferring to work with local providers and leaders. And he often lived among the people he was treating, moving his family to Rwanda and Haiti for extended periods.
News of Dr. Farmer’s death rippled through the worlds of medicine and public health on Monday.
“There are so many people that are alive because of that man,” Dr. Rochelle P. Walensky, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said in a brief interview, adding that she wanted to compose herself before speaking further.
Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, President Biden’s top medical adviser, broke down in tears during an interview, in which he said he and Dr. Farmer had been like “soul brothers.”
Remembering Paul Farmer (1959-2022)
The pioneer of global heath died on Feb. 21, 2022. He was 62.
- Obituary: Dr. Farmer, a physician and anthropologist, sought to bring high-quality health care to some of the world’s poorest people.
- ‘Mountains Beyond Mountains’: The 2003 book by Tracy Kidder told Dr. Farmer’s life story. Read the first chapter here.
- His Writing: In “Fevers, Feuds and Diamonds,” Dr. Farmer examined the inequalities that worsened Ebola’s spread in West Africa in 2014.
In the latter part of his career, Dr. Farmer became a public health luminary; the subject of a 2017 documentary, “Bending the Arc”; and the author of 12 books.
In 2020, when he was awarded the $1 million Berggruen Prize, given annually to an influential thought leader, the chairman of the prize committee said Dr. Farmer had “reshaped our understanding” of “what it means to treat health as a human right and the ethical and political obligations that follow.”
Dr. Farmer, who never settled into the easy life of an elder statesman, was vigorously involved in the response to the Covid-19 pandemic, prodding the Biden administration to drop intellectual property barriers that prevented pharmaceutical companies from sharing their technology.
“It’s not just about health security, in the senses of defending yourself,” he said. “It’s not just about charity, although that’s not so bad. It’s also about pragmatic solidarity with those in need of assistance.”
“When you settle on a problem, devote the resources to it and have at least some ability to incorporate new information, every time, it gets better,” he says. “I don’t have any experience, anywhere, where you just apply yourself, along with others, and then do not see progress. My optimism has pretty honest roots. “Although,” Farmer adds after a brief pause, “I would probably be an optimist even if not.” “I’m going to sound very touchy-feely-ish, but it’s [about] compassion and empathy and fellow feeling,” Farmer says. “You can’t do anything in public health without fellow feeling.”
Paul Edward Farmer Jr. was born on Oct. 26, 1959, in North Adams, Mass. Paul’s mother, Ginny (Rice) Farmer, worked as a supermarket cashier, and his father, Paul Sr., was a salesman and high school math teacher.
When Paul was around 12, his father bought an old bus and fitted it with bunks, converting it into a mobile home. Paul, his parents and his five siblings spent the next few years traveling, mostly in Florida, living for a time on a boat moored on a bayou. He credited this period with giving him “a very compliant GI system,” a knack for sleeping anywhere and an inability to be shy or embarrassed.
After graduating from Duke University, he moved to Haiti, volunteering in Cange, a settlement in the central Artibonite plateau of the country. He arrived toward the end of the dictatorship of Jean-Claude Duvalier, when Haiti’s hospital system was so threadbare that patients had to pay for basic supplies, like medical gloves or a blood transfusion, if they wanted treatment.
In a letter to a friend, he wrote that his stint at the hospital wasn’t turning out as he had expected. “It’s not that I’m unhappy working here,” said the letter, excerpted in Mr. Kidder’s book. “The biggest problem is that the hospital is not for the poor. I’m taken aback. I really am. Everything has to be paid for in advance.”
Dr. Farmer decided to open a different kind of clinic. He returned to the United States to attend Harvard Medical School and earn a degree in anthropology, but he continued to spend much of his time in Cange, returning to Harvard for exams and laboratory work.
Over the years, Dr. Farmer raised millions of dollars for an ever-expanding network of community health facilities. He had a contagious enthusiasm and considerable nerve. When Thomas J. White, who owned a large construction company in Boston, asked to meet him, he insisted that the meeting take place in Haiti.
Mr. White eventually contributed $1 million in seed money to Partners in Health, which Dr. Farmer founded in 1987 along with Ophelia Dahl, whom he had met volunteering in Haiti; a Duke classmate, Todd McCormack; and a Harvard classmate, Dr. Jim Yong Kim.
The clinic in Haiti, at first a single room, grew over the years to a network of 16 medical centers in the country, with a local staff of almost 7,000.
Among them was a teaching hospital in Mirebalais, about 40 miles north of Port-au-Prince, that opened in 2013 and offered chemotherapy drugs, a gleaming new $700,000 CT scanner and three operating rooms with full-time trauma surgeons. There, poor patients with difficult diseases paid a basic fee of around $1.50 a day for treatment, including medication.
Partners in Health also expanded into Rwanda, where Dr. Farmer helped the government restructure the country’s health system, improving health outcomes in areas like infant mortality and the H.I.V. infection rate.
Dr. Farmer died in Butaro, a mountain town on the border of Uganda where he and Partners in Health collaborated with the Rwandan government to build a complex devoted to health and health education. Dr. Farmer had homes in Rwinkwavu, Rwanda; Cange, Haiti; and Miami.
Dr. Farmer also helped develop new public health approaches in Peru, Russia and Lesotho, among other places.
He was particularly proud of the fact that the clinics he helped build were staffed by local doctors and nurses whom he had trained.
Over the years, he kept in touch with many of his patients, as well as their children and grandchildren. He was godfather to more than 100 children, most of them in Haiti, said Laurie Nuell, a close friend and board director at Partners in Health.
Over the weekend, Dr. Farmer sent her a photo of a colorful bouquet of flowers he had put together for one of his terminally ill patients in Rwanda. “Not my best work,” the accompanying text said.
“He had a very tender heart,” she said. “Seeing pain and suffering was very hard for him. It just hurt him. I’m a social worker by training. One thing I learned is about detachment. He wasn’t detached from anyone. That’s the beauty of it.”
As long as poverty and inequality persist, as long as people are wounded and imprisoned and despised, we humans will need accompaniment–practical, spiritual, intellectual.
– Paul Farmer –
CAN ONE PERSON MAKE A DIFFERENCE
CAN ONE PERSON
ACTUALLY BE
A CONTAGIOUS CARING CATALYST. . .
CAN YOU BE
THE CASE IN POINT
OF PROVING IT
(or not)
SOME WORDS NOT OUR OWN
THERE ARE SOME WORDS
NOT MY OWN
THAT SAY SO MUCH MORE
THAN I COULD EVER WRITE
OR SAY
B U T
need to read or hear
than any that could bounce around in my head
or spill out of my pen
L I K E:
my brain and
heart divorceda decade agoover who was
to blame about
how big of a mess
I have becomeeventually,
they couldn’t be
in the same room
with each othernow my head and heart
share custody of meI stay with my brain
during the weekand my heart
gets me on weekendsthey never speak to one another
– instead, they give me
– the same note to pass
– to each other every week
and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:“This is all your fault”
on Sundays
my heart complains
about how my
head has let me down
in the pastand on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the futurethey blame each
other for the
state of my lifethere’s been a lot
of yelling – and cryingso,
lately, I’ve been
spending a lot of
time with my gut
who serves as my
unofficial therapistmost nights, I sneak out of the
window in my ribcageand slide down my spine
and collapse on my
gut’s plush leather chair
that’s always open for me~ and I just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes uplast evening,
my gut asked me
if I was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my headI nodded
I said I didn’t know
if I could live with
either of them anymore“my heart is always sad about
something that happened yesterday
while my head is always worried
about something that may happen tomorrow,”
I lamentedmy gut squeezed my hand
“I just can’t live with
my mistakes of the past
or my anxiety about the future,”
I sighedmy gut smiled and said:
“in that case,
you should
go stay with your
lungs for a while,”I was confused
– the look on my face gave it away
“if you are exhausted about
your heart’s obsession with
the fixed past and your mind’s focus
on the uncertain futureyour lungs are the perfect place for you
there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there eitherthere is only now
there is only inhale
there is only exhale
there is only this momentthere is only breath
and in that breath
you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out.”this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leavesand while my
heart was staring
at old photographsI packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungsbefore I could even knock
she opened the door
with a smile and as
a gust of air embraced me
she said“what took you so long?”
~ John Roedel (johnroedel.com)
were spoken first by
Someone Else
and echoing intimately within us
For An Ever. . .
ALL DAY SUCKERS
that deliver more flavor
that can be promised
. . .only enjoyed
Monster Chasers
I cry
. . .A lot
Movies
Well written passages
Music
Always music
And this time certainly was no exception
It’s more than a cleansing
It’s a renewing
It’s a bare vulnerability
That’s never made me feel more
Naked
And warmly clothed
At the same time.
It makes my heart beat
So much differently
And so much better
It makes me care deeper
Love without limits or any hints
Of conditions
It makes me purely
A Caring Catalyst
And I’m tempted
Always
To ruin
THAT MOMENT
knowing that it can’t last
But here’s the best news:
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO
It’s what makes the moment
THE MOMENT
AND YES,
A Lifetime can be lived in a moment
And ohhhhhhhhh
look at the time
THAT MOMENT
THAT LIFETIME
can can
BE
right now. . .
Especially if I’m about chasing away
A loved one’s monsters
The only thing better than the title of
MONSTER CHASER
is actually
BEING ONE
Join me
You lifetime-in-a-moment-Liver

BEYOND A SEASON
CHRISTMAS IS BARELY 48 HOURS PAST US
AS IT STRUGGLES ALWAYS
TO NEVER LEAVE US
or worse:
BE LEFT BY US. . .
Just what is it
that makes any Season
A Lifestyle. . .
BECOME THAT!
W A T C H:
LOVE IS A GIFT THAT GOES BEYOND A SEASON
BE THE CURE FOR SOMEONE’S LONELINESS
THE SYMPHONY IN YOU IS ONLY AS MAGNIFICENT AS YOU ALLOW IT TO BE HEARD AND EXPERIENCED
THAT FACE
which hides a Christmas Wish
beyond a wrapped present
BE MORE OF AN OPEN HEART AND LESS OF AN OPENED PRESENT. . .
SEE
BE
FREE
That Difference
to/for Others
FOR THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT CARING FOR THOSE THEY CARE FOR
WHEN AN EACH IS TREATED LIKE NO OTHER
MAYBE THE GREATEST WAY TO CELEBRATE BEING IN A SNOW GLOBE WORLD IS NOT BREAKING IT BUT GIVING IT
THE SOUND OF A RING
Put this under the
TOO FREAKING PRESH
File:
The other day as I was leaving a patient’s house
the husband was walking me out the front door
and he showed me his wedding ring.
“We’ve taken our wedding rings off 639 times…The first of every month celebrating our anniversary. And then we put each others on and say, ‘with this ring I thee wed.’
They’ve been married 53 yrs and 3 months.
DID YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF THE RING
It’s the sound that could never be replicated from
a phone
a bell
a song
a computer generated video. . .
A RING
way too distinct for any of those other
RINGS
but once seen
e x p e r i e n c e d
YOU NEVER FORGET THE SOUND
The tears in his eyes
ran down my cheeks
as I drove away. . .
The Lesson:
HIS LOVE HAS LIFE!
And now. . .
so does mine!
(o u r s)
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