BUT DOES IT REALLY. . . ?
There are so many things in life that takes us from
FORT KNOX SECURE
to I’m afraid of my own shadow
I N S E C U R E
. . .just how can you tell
HOW SECURE YOU ARE. . . ?
If you use any of these 9 phrases
‘you’re more emotionally secure
Emotionally secure people are empowered, confident and comfortable in their own skin. They walk the world with authenticity and conviction, and do what is meaningful to them.
As a Harvard-trained psychologist, Dr. Courtney Warren says, “I’ve found that this sense of self-assuredness makes them better able to navigate conflict and be vulnerable with others, mostly because they aren’t looking for external validation.“
“But takes a lot of work to get there. If you use any of these nine phrases, you’re more emotionally secure than most people:
One of the most noticeable characteristics of emotionally secure people is that they articulate themselves well. They choose their responses carefully and aren’t impulsive in their reactions.
- “I’m really frustrated and need some time to myself. I don’t want to say something I might regret later.”
- “I don’t have an answer right now. Can we revisit this conversation tomorrow?”
Emotionally secure people feel comfortable setting boundaries. They are clear about what they will and will not do based on their own moral principles, needs and desires.
- “I’m sorry, but I can’t help with that because I have too many other commitments.”
- “Thank you for the offer, but that’s not something I enjoy doing.”
They always communicate their needs in a respectful way. This means they state how they feel when someone treats them poorly. If they feel their boundaries are being violated, they’ll take action to make changes.
- “When you say things like that, I feel hurt and angry.”
- “If you treat me like this, I’m going to step away because it’s not healthy for me.”
They are consistent in how they operate in the world. This makes being around them predictable and safe because friends and loved ones know that they are who they say they are.
- “What you see is what you get.”
- “You may not like this about me, but I am okay with it.”
Emotionally secure people are able to consider criticism without lashing out. If they receive negative feedback, they don’t take it personally. Instead, they see it as an opportunity for self-improvement.
- “I didn’t realize I do that so often. Thank you for pointing it out.”
- “Wow, I guess I really do say that phrase a lot.”
In meaningful relationships, emotionally secure people will make an effort to change when necessary. They know that taking action is key to personal growth and strengthening connections.
- “I hear that this is important to you, so I’ll work on being more compassionate when I talk to you.”
- “I’m not very good at being patient. I’m going to practice being less pushy.”
Their empathic and non-judgmental nature in relationships makes them great at being supportive. They also understand that if someone is having a bad day, it isn’t a reflection on them.
- “You look upset, and I’d like to help.”
- “I see that this is hard for you, but you have my support.”
Having a solid belief system is key to being emotionally secure because it guides our choices. When a value is violated, emotionally secure people are able to take a stance for what they believe is moral and fair.
- “I really care about this, even if you don’t.”
- “I don’t think you’re acting in an ethical way, and I can’t watch it happen without standing up for what I believe is humane.”
Emotionally secure people have cultivated a sense of inner safety that tells them they will be okay, even if a new effort fails. This allows them to experiment with new things, such as hobbies, friendships, travels and even personal coping strategies.
- “I’ll try that next time.”
- “I may not be good at this, but I’m willing to give it a shot!”
Some fairly embraceably questionable thoughts, huh? So how did you fair? Do you still have some growing to do; are you securely insecure?
GROWING into any one of these nine factors truly is a FACTOR. . .especially as a Caring Catalyst; your nearly top of the list goals is simply: