I want to live in a World
where it’s
C H R I S T M A S
m o s t
WHEN IT ISN’T
where
PEACE ON EARTH
isn’t a dream
where
GOODWILL
is standard
where
PRESENTS
aren’t so much given
as GIVEN
where
my Best
becomes your BETTER
where
words don’t describe
but our ACTIONS do
where
SILENT NIGHT
shouts
what a heart beats
and a mouth can’t begin to whisper
where
______________
we fill in all of the blanks
where
a forever
is lived in a moment
that needs no years
or eternity
where
(oh where)
it all begins in me
but quickly
spreads infectiously to
o t h e r s
(continuously)
GIFTING
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
THE SEASON OF GIVING
(is never out of season)
Christmas is all about
J O Y . .
The Joy of being with friends and family,
The Joy of getting out there and connecting with each other,
The Joy of giving that perfect gift.
With thousands of gifts to choose from,
you’re guaranteed to bring what can never be
Wrapped up
Amazon Primed
Ordered
Hidden under a Tree
To your loved ones this Christmas. . .
This film tells the story of
J O Y
a seasonal word
that gives year long
f l a v o r
and her bottomless bag of gifts,
fitting for every occasion
revealing the everlasting truth
THE SOUND OF A RING
Put this under the
TOO FREAKING PRESH
File:
The other day as I was leaving a patient’s house
the husband was walking me out the front door
and he showed me his wedding ring.
“We’ve taken our wedding rings off 639 times…The first of every month celebrating our anniversary. And then we put each others on and say, ‘with this ring I thee wed.’
They’ve been married 53 yrs and 3 months.
DID YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF THE RING
It’s the sound that could never be replicated from
a phone
a bell
a song
a computer generated video. . .
A RING
way too distinct for any of those other
RINGS
but once seen
e x p e r i e n c e d
YOU NEVER FORGET THE SOUND
The tears in his eyes
ran down my cheeks
as I drove away. . .
The Lesson:
HIS LOVE HAS LIFE!
And now. . .
so does mine!
(o u r s)
THAT…DO THAT
The special things we do
can’t be wrapped
come from Amazon
can’t be found under a tree. . .
And most of the time
these very things
come with great sacrifice
and a cost that doesn’t have a
$ $ $ sign
in front of it. . .
DO THAT
Make THAT
more than a Season
Make THAT
a Lifestyle
(A For An Ever Lifestyle)
that’ll top any tree. . .
SNAP SHOTTED
11 years ago I was standing in the hallway at Malachi House,
a beautiful Sanctuary for the terminally ill
and after visiting a patient I saw this picture.
I was interested by it
and it also reminded me of a good friend, Michael Reardon,
who travels the world portraying the gospels
And actually becoming the living Word
making it become flesh
in front of all of his audiences and friends,
so I snapped a picture from my
Iphone and the picture I took
and the picture I saw
were two different ones. . .
Most of the time they
are, huh?
I loved the fact that without trying to
‘snap’ this shot,
I got quite another one that my
mind’s eye
never imagined and now,
my soul
won’t forget!
How very, very telling
and more,
humbly fitting. . .
And now here we are
11 years later
because it popped up on a memory from a Facebook post
it lets me relive that moment
and rekindle that friendship
all over again.
It also remind me
that we are so very much more
in the snap shots
that we take
remembered from a single incident
that makes up our lives.
SO MUCH MORE
What snapshot in your life comes in the view from a day ago 10 years ago maybe even 20 that’s more alive right now than maybe what it was when the picture was first taken?
Snap away.
Capture.
Share those of your life
since they become a part of another’s life as well. . .
At its best
that is the purest definition of living
and never just having
L I V E D
REMINISCENCE
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR
brings it out in all of us
THE ONCE UPON A TIME’S
THE REMEMBER WHEN’S
the essence of
r e m i n i s e n c e. . .
And it is
awesomely good
and can actually get better:
Five Ways Nostalgia Can Improve Your Well-Being
Some recent studies suggest that experiencing nostalgia about our past can make us happier and more resilient during times of stress. . .
We often find ourselves nostalgic for days gone by—especially my young adulthood. Thinking about days of once upon a time’s and remember when’s we always still want to be apart and never far apart from.that gives us a bittersweet feeling—a mixture of joy, sadness, and longing.
While we find nostalgia pleasant overall and even inspiring, doctors and psychologists did not always consider it a good thing. Staying “stuck in the past” was often associated with being unable to adjust to new realities, like when soldiers were nostalgic for their faraway homes and experienced loneliness and dread. Not that long ago, some considered nostalgia to be a mental illness, akin to melancholy, which could lead to anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders.
But more recent findings on nostalgia suggest it can be good for us, increasing our well-being, making us feel connected to other people, and giving us a sense of continuity in our lives. And it seems to come on naturally when we need to weather life’s difficulties. Rather than being a problem, nostalgia can help bring happiness and meaning to our lives.
Here are some of the ways nostalgia can benefit us, according to science.
Nostalgia makes us feel socially connected
Nostalgia about our past often includes recalling important people in our lives—people who cared about us and made us feel like we belonged. Certainly, our own nostalgic musings are centered around times when we were with the people and places we love. So, it’s not too surprising that recalling these special times would make us feel more connected to others, in general.
In one study, researchers found that people who were asked to write about an event from their past that made them feel “sentimental longing for the past” felt loved and supported, and this, in turn, helped buffer them against loneliness. Another study found that when people felt nostalgic about times in their lives when they interacted with members of an “out-group”—for example, teenagers recalling fun times with older adults—they felt less prejudice toward that group.
Nostalgia also seems to help us maintain our relationships. For example, one study found that inducing nostalgia helped people feel more optimistic about relationships in general and more willing to connect with friends. Another study found that when induced to feel nostalgia, people (especially those who find connecting with others easier) felt more able to offer emotional support to the people in their lives.
Nostalgia helps us find meaning in life
A sense of meaning in life involves knowing that your existence matters and that your life has coherence or purpose. It’s something we all strive for in one way or another.
Fortunately, research suggests nostalgia can be an important resource for increasing meaning, by highlighting central moments in our lives and giving us a sense of continuity.
In one study, researchers compared nostalgia to two seemingly related forms of thinking about one’s life: recalling a positive past event or imagining a desired future. Focusing on an event that made them nostalgic led people to feel their lives had more meaning compared to imagining a desirable future. And, compared to both other reflections, feeling nostalgic reduced people’s need to search for meaning in their lives—they already felt life had meaning.
In another study, people either listened to music that brought them back to a particular time or read lyrics to old songs. These nostalgic activities not only made them feel loved and socially connected but also increased their sense of meaning in life. And, when people read an essay that encouraged them to think that life had no meaning—which said, “There are approximately 7 billion people living on this planet. So take a moment to ponder the following question: In the grand scheme of things, how significant are you?”—they naturally turned to feelings of nostalgia for relief from that sense of meaninglessness.
These findings and others suggest that nostalgia not only heightens your sense of meaning in life, but can act as a buffer when you experience a loss of meaning. And it may help you move forward in life, too. As one study found, nostalgia can increase your motivation to pursue important life goals, because it increases meaning—not just because it puts you in a better mood.
Nostalgia can make us happier
Though it does seem to do just that—to boost our mood. Even though nostalgia is by definition a blend of positive and negative emotion, the positive tends to outweigh the negative, meaning we feel happier overall.
In one very recent study, 176 university students were randomly assigned to a six-week nostalgia program where they were asked weekly to write about a past event that brought on “a sentimental longing for the past” (while a control group wrote about past events that were ordinary). Afterward, they reported on their levels of positive and negative emotions and how much the writing provided a sense of social connection, meaning, or connection to their past self. At different points in time, they also reported on their life satisfaction, feelings of vitality, and well-being.
A lot of the benefits on happiness may be connected to nostalgia’s effects on social connection and meaning. But it could also be that nostalgia helps us see ourselves in a truer, more authentic light.
Nostalgia puts us in touch with our authentic selves
When thinking nostalgically about our past, we are the prime protagonists in our own life stories. Perhaps because of this, nostalgia helps us to see our lives as continuous and coherent, providing us with a sense of authenticity.
In one study, when primed to feel nostalgic by writing about a time in their past, people saw their past self as an authentic representation of themselves. This, in turn, reduced their focus on meeting the expectations of others versus following their own, intrinsic expectations of themselves. In other words, it helped them be their authentic selves.
The researchers also studied how threats to one’s sense of self might make people engage in more nostalgia. Half of the participants read this text: “Many people feel that they have two sides to themselves. One side is the person that they show to other people; the other side is their true self—that is, the person who they truly are deep down.” Then, they wrote about times in their lives when they’d found it hard to reveal their real selves to others. The other half of the participants wrote about their daily routines and when those routines were disrupted. Then, both groups reported on their positive and negative emotions, as well as feelings of nostalgia.
Findings showed that people who focused on threats to their self-concept experienced more negative emotions, and in turn felt more nostalgic. This suggests that nostalgia helps put us in touch with our “real selves” and protects us against threats to our authenticity.
Perhaps for this reason, engaging in nostalgia can lead to personal growth. At least one study found that feeling nostalgia made people feel more positively about themselves, which, in turn, made them more open to experiencing new things, expanding their horizons, and being curious—all signs of psychological health.
Nostalgia may help people who feel disillusioned or depressed
Perhaps because of these potential benefits, people tend to engage in nostalgia when they are feeling down, lonely, or disillusioned. Many studies have found that nostalgia seems to protect people from negative mind states, bringing about a kind of emotional homeostasis.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that nostalgia is always good or can’t have a downside. If nostalgia makes us spend too much time thinking about our past, it may prevent us from recognizing the joy in our lives right here and now. And, since we tend to engage in nostalgia when negative things occur, it could become an avoidance strategy that keeps us from dealing with present problems in more effective ways.
Encouraging groups of people to feel nostalgic could also have negative consequences. For example, one study found that nostalgia made people more likely to believe political claims, regardless of their veracity. Inducing nostalgia could be an advertising ploy used to affect consumer behavior, which could lead to poor choices, too.
Still, chances are that nostalgia is more a blessing than a curse, and a winning strategy for feeling better about ourselves. It can increase our connection to others, our sense of meaning in our lives, our authenticity, and our happiness. So, why not tune into nostalgia now and then? It may just help you meet the challenges of the moment.
So the next time you’re tempted to go down
MEMORY LANE
settle in
buckle up
enjoy the ride
and make sure
someone’s sitting in the
passenger seat
someone
to make some more
m e m o r i e s
because our greatest memories
just might be the ones
we’ve yet to create
which is always the hope
of any day
or holiday
looming before us. . .
E N J O Y
F R I T T E R I N G
We all do it
. . .in fact,
it may be the one thing that every single one of us are
E X P E R T S:
F R I T T E R I N G
SOMETIMES BEING ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE
MEANS BEING NOTHING
TO NO ONE. . .
We are all so busy
DOING THE BUSY
that we let the
PRECIOUS
slip us by
without much noticing it
. . .THE EXTRA of the o r d i n a r y
and then much to late
with much less than an
exhausted sigh
it’s ALL gone. . .
WE WISH FOR MUCH
but seldom for
the REALIZATION OF NOW
the RIGHT HERE
the MOMENT
the NOW
NOT TODAY
NOT EVER
as long as you ask often:
WELL. . .
What answer you
Never make a
QUESTION
what you can have as a
LIFE STYLE STATEMENT
FRITTER ON
(no more)
BUG ME
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
There is no
NATIONAL BUG ME DAY
and maybe there’ll never be
such a day
but today
right now
right here
I wanted to invite
or no pun
i n t e n d e d
PUT A BUG IN YOUR EAR
to do one simple thing:
CHECK IN WITH THAT PERSON
WHO MATTERS TO YOU
BUG’EM
. . .One you haven’t talked to in a while
BUG’EM
YOU KNOW WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT
B U Z Z
B U Z Z
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
GO BUG SOMEONE TODAY
Make someOne feel like it’s their
NATIONAL HOLIDAY
(. . .yeah, it’s that simple)
THE SHORT END OF LONGEVITY
Some say
The Worst thing about Birthday Cakes
are the Candles they hold
that count how old you are
and how young
YOU AREN’T. . .
And we spend lots of effort
and money to
NOT MAKE IT SO. . .
Your Personality
Could Add Years of
Healthy Living
Matt Fuchs recently wrote about this phenomenon in a TIME MAGAZINE article. When it comes to strategies for slowing down the aging process, exercise and nutrition are the usual suspects—but don’t ignore the power of mind over matter.
Recent research shows that several personality traits predict who will enjoy health into their 80s and beyond. According to some studies, the link between personality and longevity is as strong as intelligence or how much money you have, both of which are correlated with longer lifespans.
These characteristics of the mind are fairly stable, but experts believe we can enhance them at any age—more easily, perhaps, than our bank accounts. The following five traits can be cultivated for a long, healthy life.
People who are conscientious—organized and responsible—tend to live longer. “It’s probably the best silver bullet we can hope for,” said Nicholas Turiano, a psychology professor at West Virginia University. Being conscientious is a “resilience factor” that may help some individuals overcome major risks to health, such as living in poverty, said Turiano.
Many conscientious people are diligent about exercise and nutrition. They also seem to have better coping strategies for stressful situations, said Turiano, leading to less inflammation, which in turn slows down aging.
People can become more conscientious through support from friends, coachesand psychologists. Smartphone apps may help, too. For example, participants in a study published earlier this year increased their conscientiousness significantly by using a digital coach called PEACH. This app reinforces personality change through chatbot conversations and tips, such as reminders to reflect on progress toward one’s goals by writing in a diary.
P U R P O S E
Another good quality for longevity is being purposeful, or having a direction in life with clear goals that energize you. Those who say that they have a life purpose recover faster from aggravations such as viewing pictures of pollution and other disturbing scenes. They also tend to have more brain volume in an area of the brain that’s linked to self-awareness and decision-making.
Many types of purpose are beneficial. “It’s so unique to the individual,” said Patrick Hill, a psychologist at Washington University in St. Louis. Some derive purpose from their jobs, whereas retirees report feeling more purposeful during the evening if they socialized that day, according to Hill’s research. People driven by artistic purposes may have a longevity edge, too. “Being creatively inclined can provide a sense of direction,” said Hill.
Purpose and conscientiousness overlap, but they’re not quite the same trait. Picture an employee conscientiously following the boss’s orders without batting an eye, chiming in constructively at meetings, yet lacking a deep connection to the job. “Purpose predicts health outcomes above and beyond the role of conscientiousness,” Hill explained.
To become more purposeful, finding the right mentor can have a powerful effect. For seniors, engaging in leisure activities, like arts classes, can go a long way toward purpose, well-being and lower rates of dementia and depression.
O P T I M I S M
For a long, healthy life, look for the silver lining. Optimism is associated with exceptional longevity, according to research by Lewina Lee, a psychologist at Boston University. That might include viewing older age as desirable. “I would think that optimistic people tend to feel more confident about their ability to accomplish goals as they age,” said Lee.
In fact, people who see the positives in aging, like wisdom and emotional maturity, live an average of 7.6 years longer. Becca Levy, a psychologist at Yale’s school of public health, said they enjoy this longevity advantage due toexercising more, eating healthier and lower biomarkers of stress-related inflammation—similar to the benefits of conscientiousness.
You can boost optimism by regularly writing about your best possible self. Becoming more age-positive may require undoing negative stereotypes about aging. “As young as three or four, children take in the age beliefs of their culture,” Levy told me. In older age, “those beliefs become self-relevant and impact health.” But Levy found she could improve ageist attitudes by asking study participants to write about seniors with active lifestyles. Her research also shows that nurturing age-positive beliefs in seniors can improve their physical functioning.
Young people can internalize positive views of aging by interacting more often with seniors, including role models and work colleagues, and joining intergenerational communities, Levy said.
E X T R A V E R S I O N
Being extraverted, or outgoing, is another trait that can lengthen your span of health. “The link between social relationships and longevity is as strong as cholesterol levels or smoking,” said Susan Charles, a psychology professor at the University of California-Irvine. “It’s a huge effect.”
Social butterflies tend to be more active, said Charles, which protects their health. Just don’t be overly agreeable. If you’re open to other people’s bad habits, you might be swayed by friends who drink, smoke or eat unhealthily.
To become more extraverted, sessions with a psychologist can help. Adopting a healthier lifestyle has been shown to make people more comfortable in social situations. Stay on top of current events and consider joining assertiveness classes or a Toastmasters group. And most of us could probably benefit from brushing up on social skills with online trainings.
A LACK OF NEUROTICISM
Graceful agers tend to keep an even keel. “They’re less likely to report feeling ecstatic or so sad that nothing will cheer them up,” said Charles. That inner tranquility is easier on the heart and supports better sleep, both of which pay major longevity dividends.
That doesn’t mean dodging every battle, though. Although people with zero stress report greater happiness, they might have worse cognition, a detriment to long-term health, said Charles. “You need a little challenge for optimal well-being.” The most common source of stress is other people, she added, but those who age successfully get the benefits of socializing without feeling threatened or exasperated by others.
Interventions for emotional stability could help Type A personalities, in particular. While they may have more ambition—and purposefulness— they’re prone to hostility, which is associated with cardiac problems. Other neuroses, including anxiety and depression, are similarly linked to faster aging.
Interventions to increase creativity may help, said Turiano. “People don’t get as perturbed if they’re open to trying different avenues when things go wrong.”
Or join a slow movement. Charles noted that just asking Type A personalities to eat more slowly reduced their rates of heart attacks. People who meditate may delay mortality, but it’s not for everyone. To cultivate any of these traits, said Charles, “the right intervention is the one that’s comfortable for you.”
Who thought some heady stuff could add years to your life, and yes, LIFE TO YOUR YEARS, but the research and data doesn’t lie. . .we often do, though. It kind of makes merely discarded numbered dates mean more than something to be tossed away. . .
Now for that Birthday Cake. . .
GUARANTEED IT WILL TASTE BETTER
WHEN YOU COME
NOT SO MUCH TO UNDERSTAND
BUT ACTUALLY LIVE LIKE:
THIRSTY QUENCH
Are you thirsty?
Some of the
Coolest
Most refreshing
Deepest cleansing
Absolutely soothing
W A T E R
doesn’t come from a faucet
Doesn’t pour from a pitcher
Doesn’t spill from a glass
Doesn’t cascade down from the sky
Are you thirsty
Sip with your eyes
Drink with your fingers
Gulp with your ears
Have your fill
And then go about
Quenching
Another’s dripless
Yearning
It’s not so much
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU DRANK YOUR FILL
so much as
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU QUENCHED A THIRST. . .
If you’re not letting
YOUR WATER
f l o w
you are
stinking stagnant . . .
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