When the rain falls
it gathers in the potholes
the dipped
not so evenly carved out
valleys
deep earth scars
that hold it
more tenderly
than Angel hugs
until unnoticed
drop by drop
they evaporate in a
Sun’s Shine
that can never be imagined
only experienced
so that it wishes
for yet another time
when the rain falls
IT’S IN EVERY ONE OF US
I first saw this clip of
It’s In Everyone Of Us
by David Pomeranz
nearly 30 years ago
and yet
T O D A Y
it feels
new all over again
with one simple message:
LET’S GET ALONG
The seeds of Peace lie within each of us;
but no seed grows that’s not planted,
nurtured,
harvested
and ultimately
s h a r e d. . .
And the tools
are already in your hands
to be used
. . .will you?
W H E N ?
but a realization
waiting for you
to make it happen
It’s TIME to
A C T
like IT
SOME WORDS NOT OUR OWN
THERE ARE SOME WORDS
NOT MY OWN
THAT SAY SO MUCH MORE
THAN I COULD EVER WRITE
OR SAY
B U T
need to read or hear
than any that could bounce around in my head
or spill out of my pen
L I K E:
my brain and
heart divorceda decade agoover who was
to blame about
how big of a mess
I have becomeeventually,
they couldn’t be
in the same room
with each othernow my head and heart
share custody of meI stay with my brain
during the weekand my heart
gets me on weekendsthey never speak to one another
– instead, they give me
– the same note to pass
– to each other every week
and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:“This is all your fault”
on Sundays
my heart complains
about how my
head has let me down
in the pastand on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the futurethey blame each
other for the
state of my lifethere’s been a lot
of yelling – and cryingso,
lately, I’ve been
spending a lot of
time with my gut
who serves as my
unofficial therapistmost nights, I sneak out of the
window in my ribcageand slide down my spine
and collapse on my
gut’s plush leather chair
that’s always open for me~ and I just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes uplast evening,
my gut asked me
if I was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my headI nodded
I said I didn’t know
if I could live with
either of them anymore“my heart is always sad about
something that happened yesterday
while my head is always worried
about something that may happen tomorrow,”
I lamentedmy gut squeezed my hand
“I just can’t live with
my mistakes of the past
or my anxiety about the future,”
I sighedmy gut smiled and said:
“in that case,
you should
go stay with your
lungs for a while,”I was confused
– the look on my face gave it away
“if you are exhausted about
your heart’s obsession with
the fixed past and your mind’s focus
on the uncertain futureyour lungs are the perfect place for you
there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there eitherthere is only now
there is only inhale
there is only exhale
there is only this momentthere is only breath
and in that breath
you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out.”this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leavesand while my
heart was staring
at old photographsI packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungsbefore I could even knock
she opened the door
with a smile and as
a gust of air embraced me
she said“what took you so long?”
~ John Roedel (johnroedel.com)
were spoken first by
Someone Else
and echoing intimately within us
For An Ever. . .
ALL DAY SUCKERS
that deliver more flavor
that can be promised
. . .only enjoyed
MORE THAN A MOMENT
I took a Moment
and then to really honor him
I TOOK ANOTHER MOMENT
and PAUSED
without hitting any magical button. . .
Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk who was one of the world’s most influential Zen masters, spreading messages of mindfulness, compassion and nonviolence, died this past Saturday, January 22, 2022 at his home in the Tu Hieu Temple in Hue, Vietnam. He was 95.
The death was announced by Plum Village, his organization of monasteries. He suffered a severe brain hemorrhage in 2014 that left him unable to speak, though he could communicate through gestures.
A prolific author, poet, teacher and peace activist, Thich Nhat Hanh was exiled from Vietnam after opposing the war in the 1960s and became a leading voice in a movement he called “engaged Buddhism,” the application of Buddhist principles to political and social reform.
Traveling widely on speaking tours in the United States and Europe (he was fluent in English and French), Thich Nhat Hanh (pronounced tik nyaht hahn) was a major influence on Western practices of Buddhism, urging the embrace of mindfulness, which his website describes as “the energy of being aware and awake to the present moment.”
In 2018, he returned home to Hue, in central Vietnam, to live out his last days at the Tu Hieu Temple, where he had become a novice as a teenager.
Thich Nhat Hanh dismissed the idea of death. “Birth and death are only notions,” he wrote in his book “No Death, No Fear.” “They are not real.”
That understanding, he wrote, can liberate people from fear and allow them to “enjoy life and appreciate it in a new way.”
His connection with the United States began in the early 1960s, when he studied at Princeton Theological Seminary in New Jersey and later lectured at Cornell and Columbia. He influenced the American peace movement, urging the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to oppose the Vietnam War.
Dr. King nominated him for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1967, but the prize was not awarded to anyone that year.
“I do not personally know of anyone more worthy than this gentle monk from Vietnam,” Dr. King wrote to the Nobel Institute in Norway. “His ideas for peace, if applied, would build a monument to ecumenism, to world brotherhood, to humanity.”
Thich Nhat Hanh was born Nguyen Xuan Bao in Hue on Oct. 11, 1926. He joined a Zen monastery at 16 and studied Buddhism there as a novice. Upon his ordination in 1949, he assumed the Dharma name Thich Nhat Hanh. Thich is an honorary family name used by Vietnamese monks and nuns. To his followers he was known as Thay, or teacher.
Thich Nhat Hanh began writing and speaking out against the war and in 1964 published a poem called “Condemnation” in a Buddhist weekly. It reads in part:
Whoever is listening, be my witness:
I cannot accept this war.
I never could I never will.
I must say this a thousand times before I am killed.
I am like the bird who dies for the sake of its mate,
dripping blood from its broken beak and crying out:
“Beware! Turn around and face your real enemies
— ambition, violence hatred and greed.”
The poem earned him the label “antiwar poet,” and he was denounced as a pro-Communist propagandist.
Thich Nhat Hanh took up residence in France when the South Vietnamese government denied him permission to return from abroad after the signing of the Paris Peace Accords in 1973.
He was unable to return to Vietnam until 2005, when the Communist government allowed him to teach, practice and travel throughout the country. His antiwar activism continued, and in a talk in Hanoi in 2008 he said the Iraq war had resulted from fear and misunderstanding in which violence fed on itself.
“We know very well that airplanes, guns and bombs cannot remove wrong perceptions,” he said. “Only loving speech and compassionate listening can help people correct wrong perceptions. But our leaders are not trained in that discipline, and they rely only on the armed forces to remove terrorism.”
Yeah, I took a moment last Saturday when I heard of Thich Nhat Hanh’s death
AND THEN I TOOK ANOTHER ONE. . .
Now
I’m inviting you to take a little more than
A MOMENT
not to pause
not to remember
not to honor
not to celebrate
a Life
BUT THE LIFE IN YOU
WORTH LIVING
WORTH SHARING
W O R T H
taking more than whatever we think is
A MOMENT
YOUR ASSURANCE POLICY
IT USED TO BE
that Beer Commercials were the best
b u t
INSURANCE COMMERCIALS
now offer
way more than
I N S U R A N C E
There’s a lot of things that can go wrong in life. . .
Unfortunate things and difficult experiences
are happening every day
all across the world. . .
That’s just part of
L i F e
And it never has to
stop us
from living
The Good Life. . .
The courage to live —
not in spite of those difficulties,
but rather regardless of them–
is what makes the good life possible.
(perhaps even because of them?)
So. . .
Tell me about YOU
SHOW US
Your ASSURANCE POLICY
. . .It’s so much more than
A Commercial
. . .and it never has to be Purchased
or has an expiration date
BROKEN PIECES
Our Broken Pieces
never cut
wound
or cause scarsThey are incisions
in the soul
that never need a
stitch or a stapleThe closing
would be the
worst injury
of all
S h A t T e R e D
escapes it
IT SO IMPORTANT
TO KNOW
RE-LEARN
S H O W
to be more of
A CARING CATALYST
than ever before
(EVERY BROKEN PIECE OF YOU)
BEYOND A SEASON
CHRISTMAS IS BARELY 48 HOURS PAST US
AS IT STRUGGLES ALWAYS
TO NEVER LEAVE US
or worse:
BE LEFT BY US. . .
Just what is it
that makes any Season
A Lifestyle. . .
BECOME THAT!
W A T C H:
LOVE IS A GIFT THAT GOES BEYOND A SEASON
BE THE CURE FOR SOMEONE’S LONELINESS
THE SYMPHONY IN YOU IS ONLY AS MAGNIFICENT AS YOU ALLOW IT TO BE HEARD AND EXPERIENCED
THAT FACE
which hides a Christmas Wish
beyond a wrapped present
BE MORE OF AN OPEN HEART AND LESS OF AN OPENED PRESENT. . .
SEE
BE
FREE
That Difference
to/for Others
FOR THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT CARING FOR THOSE THEY CARE FOR
WHEN AN EACH IS TREATED LIKE NO OTHER
MAYBE THE GREATEST WAY TO CELEBRATE BEING IN A SNOW GLOBE WORLD IS NOT BREAKING IT BUT GIVING IT
REMINISCENCE
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR
brings it out in all of us
THE ONCE UPON A TIME’S
THE REMEMBER WHEN’S
the essence of
r e m i n i s e n c e. . .
And it is
awesomely good
and can actually get better:
Five Ways Nostalgia Can Improve Your Well-Being
Some recent studies suggest that experiencing nostalgia about our past can make us happier and more resilient during times of stress. . .
We often find ourselves nostalgic for days gone by—especially my young adulthood. Thinking about days of once upon a time’s and remember when’s we always still want to be apart and never far apart from.that gives us a bittersweet feeling—a mixture of joy, sadness, and longing.
While we find nostalgia pleasant overall and even inspiring, doctors and psychologists did not always consider it a good thing. Staying “stuck in the past” was often associated with being unable to adjust to new realities, like when soldiers were nostalgic for their faraway homes and experienced loneliness and dread. Not that long ago, some considered nostalgia to be a mental illness, akin to melancholy, which could lead to anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders.
But more recent findings on nostalgia suggest it can be good for us, increasing our well-being, making us feel connected to other people, and giving us a sense of continuity in our lives. And it seems to come on naturally when we need to weather life’s difficulties. Rather than being a problem, nostalgia can help bring happiness and meaning to our lives.
Here are some of the ways nostalgia can benefit us, according to science.
Nostalgia makes us feel socially connected
Nostalgia about our past often includes recalling important people in our lives—people who cared about us and made us feel like we belonged. Certainly, our own nostalgic musings are centered around times when we were with the people and places we love. So, it’s not too surprising that recalling these special times would make us feel more connected to others, in general.
In one study, researchers found that people who were asked to write about an event from their past that made them feel “sentimental longing for the past” felt loved and supported, and this, in turn, helped buffer them against loneliness. Another study found that when people felt nostalgic about times in their lives when they interacted with members of an “out-group”—for example, teenagers recalling fun times with older adults—they felt less prejudice toward that group.
Nostalgia also seems to help us maintain our relationships. For example, one study found that inducing nostalgia helped people feel more optimistic about relationships in general and more willing to connect with friends. Another study found that when induced to feel nostalgia, people (especially those who find connecting with others easier) felt more able to offer emotional support to the people in their lives.
Nostalgia helps us find meaning in life
A sense of meaning in life involves knowing that your existence matters and that your life has coherence or purpose. It’s something we all strive for in one way or another.
Fortunately, research suggests nostalgia can be an important resource for increasing meaning, by highlighting central moments in our lives and giving us a sense of continuity.
In one study, researchers compared nostalgia to two seemingly related forms of thinking about one’s life: recalling a positive past event or imagining a desired future. Focusing on an event that made them nostalgic led people to feel their lives had more meaning compared to imagining a desirable future. And, compared to both other reflections, feeling nostalgic reduced people’s need to search for meaning in their lives—they already felt life had meaning.
In another study, people either listened to music that brought them back to a particular time or read lyrics to old songs. These nostalgic activities not only made them feel loved and socially connected but also increased their sense of meaning in life. And, when people read an essay that encouraged them to think that life had no meaning—which said, “There are approximately 7 billion people living on this planet. So take a moment to ponder the following question: In the grand scheme of things, how significant are you?”—they naturally turned to feelings of nostalgia for relief from that sense of meaninglessness.
These findings and others suggest that nostalgia not only heightens your sense of meaning in life, but can act as a buffer when you experience a loss of meaning. And it may help you move forward in life, too. As one study found, nostalgia can increase your motivation to pursue important life goals, because it increases meaning—not just because it puts you in a better mood.
Nostalgia can make us happier
Though it does seem to do just that—to boost our mood. Even though nostalgia is by definition a blend of positive and negative emotion, the positive tends to outweigh the negative, meaning we feel happier overall.
In one very recent study, 176 university students were randomly assigned to a six-week nostalgia program where they were asked weekly to write about a past event that brought on “a sentimental longing for the past” (while a control group wrote about past events that were ordinary). Afterward, they reported on their levels of positive and negative emotions and how much the writing provided a sense of social connection, meaning, or connection to their past self. At different points in time, they also reported on their life satisfaction, feelings of vitality, and well-being.
A lot of the benefits on happiness may be connected to nostalgia’s effects on social connection and meaning. But it could also be that nostalgia helps us see ourselves in a truer, more authentic light.
Nostalgia puts us in touch with our authentic selves
When thinking nostalgically about our past, we are the prime protagonists in our own life stories. Perhaps because of this, nostalgia helps us to see our lives as continuous and coherent, providing us with a sense of authenticity.
In one study, when primed to feel nostalgic by writing about a time in their past, people saw their past self as an authentic representation of themselves. This, in turn, reduced their focus on meeting the expectations of others versus following their own, intrinsic expectations of themselves. In other words, it helped them be their authentic selves.
The researchers also studied how threats to one’s sense of self might make people engage in more nostalgia. Half of the participants read this text: “Many people feel that they have two sides to themselves. One side is the person that they show to other people; the other side is their true self—that is, the person who they truly are deep down.” Then, they wrote about times in their lives when they’d found it hard to reveal their real selves to others. The other half of the participants wrote about their daily routines and when those routines were disrupted. Then, both groups reported on their positive and negative emotions, as well as feelings of nostalgia.
Findings showed that people who focused on threats to their self-concept experienced more negative emotions, and in turn felt more nostalgic. This suggests that nostalgia helps put us in touch with our “real selves” and protects us against threats to our authenticity.
Perhaps for this reason, engaging in nostalgia can lead to personal growth. At least one study found that feeling nostalgia made people feel more positively about themselves, which, in turn, made them more open to experiencing new things, expanding their horizons, and being curious—all signs of psychological health.
Nostalgia may help people who feel disillusioned or depressed
Perhaps because of these potential benefits, people tend to engage in nostalgia when they are feeling down, lonely, or disillusioned. Many studies have found that nostalgia seems to protect people from negative mind states, bringing about a kind of emotional homeostasis.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that nostalgia is always good or can’t have a downside. If nostalgia makes us spend too much time thinking about our past, it may prevent us from recognizing the joy in our lives right here and now. And, since we tend to engage in nostalgia when negative things occur, it could become an avoidance strategy that keeps us from dealing with present problems in more effective ways.
Encouraging groups of people to feel nostalgic could also have negative consequences. For example, one study found that nostalgia made people more likely to believe political claims, regardless of their veracity. Inducing nostalgia could be an advertising ploy used to affect consumer behavior, which could lead to poor choices, too.
Still, chances are that nostalgia is more a blessing than a curse, and a winning strategy for feeling better about ourselves. It can increase our connection to others, our sense of meaning in our lives, our authenticity, and our happiness. So, why not tune into nostalgia now and then? It may just help you meet the challenges of the moment.
So the next time you’re tempted to go down
MEMORY LANE
settle in
buckle up
enjoy the ride
and make sure
someone’s sitting in the
passenger seat
someone
to make some more
m e m o r i e s
because our greatest memories
just might be the ones
we’ve yet to create
which is always the hope
of any day
or holiday
looming before us. . .
E N J O Y
THE SHORT END OF LONGEVITY
Some say
The Worst thing about Birthday Cakes
are the Candles they hold
that count how old you are
and how young
YOU AREN’T. . .
And we spend lots of effort
and money to
NOT MAKE IT SO. . .
Your Personality
Could Add Years of
Healthy Living
Matt Fuchs recently wrote about this phenomenon in a TIME MAGAZINE article. When it comes to strategies for slowing down the aging process, exercise and nutrition are the usual suspects—but don’t ignore the power of mind over matter.
Recent research shows that several personality traits predict who will enjoy health into their 80s and beyond. According to some studies, the link between personality and longevity is as strong as intelligence or how much money you have, both of which are correlated with longer lifespans.
These characteristics of the mind are fairly stable, but experts believe we can enhance them at any age—more easily, perhaps, than our bank accounts. The following five traits can be cultivated for a long, healthy life.
People who are conscientious—organized and responsible—tend to live longer. “It’s probably the best silver bullet we can hope for,” said Nicholas Turiano, a psychology professor at West Virginia University. Being conscientious is a “resilience factor” that may help some individuals overcome major risks to health, such as living in poverty, said Turiano.
Many conscientious people are diligent about exercise and nutrition. They also seem to have better coping strategies for stressful situations, said Turiano, leading to less inflammation, which in turn slows down aging.
People can become more conscientious through support from friends, coachesand psychologists. Smartphone apps may help, too. For example, participants in a study published earlier this year increased their conscientiousness significantly by using a digital coach called PEACH. This app reinforces personality change through chatbot conversations and tips, such as reminders to reflect on progress toward one’s goals by writing in a diary.
P U R P O S E
Another good quality for longevity is being purposeful, or having a direction in life with clear goals that energize you. Those who say that they have a life purpose recover faster from aggravations such as viewing pictures of pollution and other disturbing scenes. They also tend to have more brain volume in an area of the brain that’s linked to self-awareness and decision-making.
Many types of purpose are beneficial. “It’s so unique to the individual,” said Patrick Hill, a psychologist at Washington University in St. Louis. Some derive purpose from their jobs, whereas retirees report feeling more purposeful during the evening if they socialized that day, according to Hill’s research. People driven by artistic purposes may have a longevity edge, too. “Being creatively inclined can provide a sense of direction,” said Hill.
Purpose and conscientiousness overlap, but they’re not quite the same trait. Picture an employee conscientiously following the boss’s orders without batting an eye, chiming in constructively at meetings, yet lacking a deep connection to the job. “Purpose predicts health outcomes above and beyond the role of conscientiousness,” Hill explained.
To become more purposeful, finding the right mentor can have a powerful effect. For seniors, engaging in leisure activities, like arts classes, can go a long way toward purpose, well-being and lower rates of dementia and depression.
O P T I M I S M
For a long, healthy life, look for the silver lining. Optimism is associated with exceptional longevity, according to research by Lewina Lee, a psychologist at Boston University. That might include viewing older age as desirable. “I would think that optimistic people tend to feel more confident about their ability to accomplish goals as they age,” said Lee.
In fact, people who see the positives in aging, like wisdom and emotional maturity, live an average of 7.6 years longer. Becca Levy, a psychologist at Yale’s school of public health, said they enjoy this longevity advantage due toexercising more, eating healthier and lower biomarkers of stress-related inflammation—similar to the benefits of conscientiousness.
You can boost optimism by regularly writing about your best possible self. Becoming more age-positive may require undoing negative stereotypes about aging. “As young as three or four, children take in the age beliefs of their culture,” Levy told me. In older age, “those beliefs become self-relevant and impact health.” But Levy found she could improve ageist attitudes by asking study participants to write about seniors with active lifestyles. Her research also shows that nurturing age-positive beliefs in seniors can improve their physical functioning.
Young people can internalize positive views of aging by interacting more often with seniors, including role models and work colleagues, and joining intergenerational communities, Levy said.
E X T R A V E R S I O N
Being extraverted, or outgoing, is another trait that can lengthen your span of health. “The link between social relationships and longevity is as strong as cholesterol levels or smoking,” said Susan Charles, a psychology professor at the University of California-Irvine. “It’s a huge effect.”
Social butterflies tend to be more active, said Charles, which protects their health. Just don’t be overly agreeable. If you’re open to other people’s bad habits, you might be swayed by friends who drink, smoke or eat unhealthily.
To become more extraverted, sessions with a psychologist can help. Adopting a healthier lifestyle has been shown to make people more comfortable in social situations. Stay on top of current events and consider joining assertiveness classes or a Toastmasters group. And most of us could probably benefit from brushing up on social skills with online trainings.
A LACK OF NEUROTICISM
Graceful agers tend to keep an even keel. “They’re less likely to report feeling ecstatic or so sad that nothing will cheer them up,” said Charles. That inner tranquility is easier on the heart and supports better sleep, both of which pay major longevity dividends.
That doesn’t mean dodging every battle, though. Although people with zero stress report greater happiness, they might have worse cognition, a detriment to long-term health, said Charles. “You need a little challenge for optimal well-being.” The most common source of stress is other people, she added, but those who age successfully get the benefits of socializing without feeling threatened or exasperated by others.
Interventions for emotional stability could help Type A personalities, in particular. While they may have more ambition—and purposefulness— they’re prone to hostility, which is associated with cardiac problems. Other neuroses, including anxiety and depression, are similarly linked to faster aging.
Interventions to increase creativity may help, said Turiano. “People don’t get as perturbed if they’re open to trying different avenues when things go wrong.”
Or join a slow movement. Charles noted that just asking Type A personalities to eat more slowly reduced their rates of heart attacks. People who meditate may delay mortality, but it’s not for everyone. To cultivate any of these traits, said Charles, “the right intervention is the one that’s comfortable for you.”
Who thought some heady stuff could add years to your life, and yes, LIFE TO YOUR YEARS, but the research and data doesn’t lie. . .we often do, though. It kind of makes merely discarded numbered dates mean more than something to be tossed away. . .
Now for that Birthday Cake. . .
GUARANTEED IT WILL TASTE BETTER
WHEN YOU COME
NOT SO MUCH TO UNDERSTAND
BUT ACTUALLY LIVE LIKE:
THIRSTY QUENCH
Are you thirsty?
Some of the
Coolest
Most refreshing
Deepest cleansing
Absolutely soothing
W A T E R
doesn’t come from a faucet
Doesn’t pour from a pitcher
Doesn’t spill from a glass
Doesn’t cascade down from the sky
Are you thirsty
Sip with your eyes
Drink with your fingers
Gulp with your ears
Have your fill
And then go about
Quenching
Another’s dripless
Yearning
It’s not so much
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU DRANK YOUR FILL
so much as
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU QUENCHED A THIRST. . .
If you’re not letting
YOUR WATER
f l o w
you are
stinking stagnant . . .
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