The line has stuck with me for well over
E I G H T E E N Y E A R S. . .
and I suspect for the rest of my life as a father;
Did you hear it?
Is it one of your favorite lines, too,
in the SHADOW OF FATHER’S DAY. . .
“YOUR FLAWS AS A SON ARE MY FAILURES AS A FATHER.”
S E R I O U S L Y:
Have you ever thought,
“IF I WAS A BETTER PARENT, maybe my children would be better, not suffered as much”
Yes, I have suffered many little deaths along the way as any dad would/does. . . Children always have a way of ripping your heart out without a scalpel and tramping on your aorta; watching it as flutters, sputters blood and seamlessly stops
beating by either what they say/do or don’t say or do. . .But my father’s heart has never stopped loving, never stop caring, never stop giving, and I believe it’s what makes me who I am and who I want to continue to be. . .It’s hard work; it’s an endless job from which I will never retire and of which I will never seek to do so. . .
It wasn’t the IWatch my daughters came together and bought for me or the great playlists of songs my son compiled for me that has meaning just between he and I including, Harry Chapin’s classic, “Cats in the Cradle”
It wasn’t DONUTS WITH DAD and a great Father’s Day Service at Church. . .
Yes, to have the love of my children is severely precious to me but it was crowned with the visit to my dad in the Nursing Home in Washington, Pa.
With my mom, Erin and my brother Mike visiting him we had continual laughs and a constant flow of memories. . .including a gift that included a canvas print of his four children with my brother-in-law, Bill and my dad some 11 years ago finishing a half-marathon
I wheeled him down for dinner ahead of my brother, mom and Erin and while I put a ‘man-bib’ (MIB) around his neck I leaned down and whispered in his ear, “I can’t ever remember you and I sitting down and having a ‘father and son’ talk; dad I don’t ever remember you lecturing me; but what has always meant the most to me, especially now, is that we never had that talk, and never had to; you didn’t tell me how to live, dad; YOU LIVED, AND LET ME WATCH YOU DO IT and I can’t tell you how that has shaped my life and literally made me who I am. I love you to death. . .” and I hugged him, hugged him not as hard as Commodus in GLADIATOR, but enough
e n o u g h
and made sure we both had a new and lasting
m e m o r y
. . .I hope you had as good of a day, yesterday
inspired to have a few more good days, holidays included,
along the way. . .
May your greatest memories be those
Y O U H A V E
yet to create
(and then some)