WOW. . .
how could it be that this movie,
THE DEAD POET’S SOCIETY
came out in. . .
ANY GUESSES?
1 9 8 9
A new English teacher, John Keating (Robin Williams), is introduced to an all-boys preparatory school that is known for its ancient traditions and high standards. He uses unorthodox methods to reach out to his students, who face enormous pressures from their parents and the school. With Keating’s help, students Neil Perry (Robert Sean Leonard), Todd Anderson (Ethan Hawke) and others learn to break out of their shells, pursue their dreams and seize the day.
AND IT BEGS
THIS QUESTION:
Just what will your verse be?
H I N T :
If you use words
you’ve already failed. . .
Forget about iambic pentameters
or does it rhyme
is it free verse
or what the length of any poem is
You are the living version
of what needs to be seen
and experienced
and not just read
or merely written. . .
Now more than ever
the Verb of You
Your Caring Catalyst
needs to be known
more than any Noun of You
needs to be represented. . .Just sayin’. . . .
W A R
Serbian saying: “In war the politicians give ammunition, the rich give the food and the poor give their children… When the war is over the politicians get back the leftover ammunition, the rich grow more food and the poor search for the graves of their children.”
WORDS
W o R d S
are all pretty meaningless
even if they are
ACTION WORDS
until they are
LIVING WORDS
THE WORLD IS MADE UP OF DEAD ENDS
DESOLATE
WAR TORN PLACES
(and that’s not even talking about the wars that are being waged in ourselves)
It reminds me of the words of the poet,
Warsan Shire
For the World’s sake
For your sake
(Literally) For God’s sake
we’ve got to Caring Catalyst UP
not Someday
(which can never be found on anyone’s Calendar)
but TODAY
IT’S time to BE
what the World needs
right where you are at
and to everyone you touch. . .
A CHANGE OF HEART
It’s been two years now. . .
not only has the our World changed dramatically because of COVID19
but quite literally, so has our
H E A R T
(l i t e r a l l y)
US News
just recently came out with some not so startling news about how this past year,
particularly, the GRIEF that it’s caused
has rewired our Hearts and our Brains. . .
AMERICAN HEART Association News, HealthDay Reporter, By Michael Merschel
On WEDNESDAY, March 10, 2021 (American Heart Association News) — Grief is a common, if not universal, human experience. But that doesn’t make it simple.
It’s psychological, but it affects people physically. It’s a matter of science, but scientists who discuss it can sound poetic. Dr. Katherine Shear, professor of psychiatry at Columbia University School of Social Work in New York, calls grief “the form that love takes when someone we love dies.”
COVID-19 has both brought grief and disrupted the way people experience it. But researchers have been examining grief since well before the pandemic.
Simply defining it can be difficult. Shear, who also is director of the Columbia Center for Complicated Grief, said “there are pretty much as many different definitions of grief as there are people.” Commonly, it’s thought of as a feeling, like sadness. That’s not wrong, she said, but it’s more accurate to call it “the response to loss,” a complex and multifaceted thing with yearning and longing at its core.
Its health implications are serious.
A 2014 study in JAMA Internal Medicine showed that within 30 days of their partner’s death, people ages 60 and older had more than twice the risk of a stroke or heart attack compared to people who hadn’t suffered such a loss. That followed a 2012 study in the American Heart Association journal Circulation showing the danger of a heart attack was highest in the first 24 hours after the death of a loved one and people with existing cardiovascular problems might be at particular risk. . .(GO AHEAD: READ THAT AGAIN!)
Other research has linked grief to disrupted sleep, immune system changes and the risk of blood clots.
Dr. Lisa M. Shulman, professor of neurology at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore, said much of the physical effect of grief stems from how our brains respond.
The stress from the death of a loved one jolts our personal identity, our view of how we fit into the world, Shulman said. It sounds like a philosophical problem, but the brain is built to perceive an existential threat as a threat to our very existence.
This triggers what most people know as the “fight or flight” response. Stress hormones course throughout the body. “Your heart starts racing, your blood pressure increases, your respiratory rate increases, you become sweaty, as the body marshals defenses for you to protect yourself, one way or another,” Shulman said.
Someone who has experienced a traumatic loss, she said, might feel such a response kick in when they enter a restaurant that reminds them of a loved one, or even when someone brings them up in conversation.
But people don’t grasp why. “Instead, you just feel this incredible, physiologic response and a rising sense of anxiety, or even panic. And you’re flummoxed by it.”
Shulman understands this firsthand. Her interest in the neurobiology of grief followed the loss of her husband, Dr. Bill Weiner, a fellow neurologist, who died of cancer in 2012.
Despite her prior experience in dealing with grieving patients, she was unprepared for it herself. The first two years, she said, were particularly difficult. At times she felt disoriented, confused, in a fog – responses that are the brain’s attempts to dissociate itself from emotional pain.
Such reactions can make a bereaved person feel isolated, she said, because people feel their problems are unique. But after writing the book “Before and After Loss: A Neurologist’s Perspective on Loss, Grief and Our Brain” and giving regular talks on the subject, she’s found talking with others can help. That is why the pandemic has made things extra difficult for people who’ve been cut off from the comfort of others.
Many people have identical experiences with grief, she said – right down to the same dreams.
“People do respond very positively to the message that the experience of grief and loss can be normalized by understanding why and what you’re feeling,” she said.
Grief can reinforce brain wiring that effectively locks the brain in a permanent stress response, Shulman said. To promote healthy rewiring, people need to strengthen the parts of the brain that can regulate that response. That can involve “a whole range of creative and contemplative practices,” from painting to meditation or expressions of faith.
Journaling helped her. By writing about disturbing memories or troubling dreams, “you can read it over in your own words and annotate it over time. And as you do that, you are becoming increasingly aware of these unprocessed thoughts, memories and emotions. And that is the way you start to rebuild more positive neural connections.”
Shear said having someone to confide in – even if it’s by video call, phone or letter – is important.
Grief, she said, is a lengthy path, marked with milestones people must face – and detours where they can get stuck. Her center offers a website full of information about grief. So does the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Grief never just goes away, Shear said. “If the loss is permanent, then so is the grief, because we’re defining it as a response to loss.”
But the way people experience grief is fluid. It can shift over the course of a day or an hour.
“It will naturally kind of surge and then recede,” she said. “We sort of oscillate between confronting the pain of the loss, and then being able to kind of set it aside or compartmentalize it.”
Eventually, it can evolve to a place where it resides mostly in the background, with only occasional periods of stronger, noticeable thoughts and feelings about the person who died. And in time, people find ways to let good memories in without triggering stress.
“We never have no response to the fact that someone we love died,” she said. “But it does change its form over time.”
American Heart Association News covers heart and brain health. Not all views expressed in this story reflect the official position of the American Heart Association. Copyright is owned or held by the American Heart Association, Inc., and all rights are reserved. If you have questions or comments about this story, please email editor@heart.org.
The Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm of the Day:
Why do we see GRIEF as a weakness;
Why do we see GRIEF as something to get OVER;
Why do we keep spelling it:
G-R-I-E-F
instead of
L- O-V-E
A CHANGE OF HEART
you betcha. . .
JUST A BEAT AWAY
LOUD LOVE
This short clip called
SILENT LOVE
(LIVE AND BE FREE song by, Tim McMorris)
really lets us know not just how
OUTRAGEOUSLY LOUD LOVE IS
but more importantly
A LANGUAGE we all speak
with no words ever needed
no ears necessary
no mouths speaking
to powerfully prove that when
L O V E
any kind of Love
is present
NOTHING ELSE EVER HAS TO BE
YES
CARING CATALYST ME
t h a t
so that every heart may not just know
LOVE
but share it
LOUDLY
without a word spoken
but known intimately
McNOTICED
I got McNOTICED
yesterday morning
going through the drive through
for my egg McMuffin. . .
as he took my money,
he was staring at me
and then said,
“Sir, you had the funeral service for my grandmother,”
he swallowed hard
and his eyes filled up with tears and then he said,
“You did really, really good. . .thank you.”
We both paused
just short enough for those behind me
to begin McHONKING. . .
I swallowed just as hard
and thanked him for
(literally)
McNOTICING ME!
We both
McLAUGHED
and bid each other a good day. . .
GET McNOTICED
and more. . .
do something to make sure you’re never
McFORGOTTEN!
LET IT GO
A Ukrainian child sheltering in a bunker has received attention from Broadway star Idina Menzel and ITV’s Holly Willoughby after a video of her singing Let It Go went viral on social media. The young girl, believed to be called Amelia, was captured singing the hit from the Disney film Frozen in her native tongue from an underground bunker in the capital Kyiv, as people gathered around to watch. The video, posted to Facebook by user Marta Smekhova, has garnered more than 86,000 likes and been watched 3.6 million times since it was posted to the platform on Thursday. Menzel, who voiced the lead role of Elsa in Disney’s 2013 musical, showed her support for Amelia to her more than 680,000 followers on Twitter. The star reposted the video with yellow and a blue heart emojis and wrote: “We see you. We really, really see you.” Alongside the original video posted on Facebook, Ms Smekhova wrote that she had spoken to the little girl after spotting her drawing “bright pictures” in the dim light of the shelter. Translated from Ukrainian to English by Google, her post reads: “She told (me) that in addition to drawing she loves to sing… and whispered her dream that she wants to sing on the big stage in front of an audience. “I said do you see how many people are here? Here for them you will sing.” Ms Smekhova wrote that she was initially worried that no-one would be able to hear Amelia’s singing, but continued: “From the first word there was complete silence in the bomb shelter.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
LISTEN AGAIN
LISTEN PAST THE WORDS
LISTEN PAST THE FAMILIAR TUNE
and hear. . .
I don’t speak and certainly don’t sing Ukrainian
but I knew the song from the melody
and isn’t that a great definition of
F A I T H :
NOT ALWAYS UNDERSTANDING THE WORDS
BUT KNOWING THE MELODY
. . .there is much in this World
that makes me question
or worse,
D O U B T
but hearing that little girl’s voice
gives a little bit of boost of faith in humanity
and how it continues to excel in the
face of evil. . .
FOR TODAY
maybe that little girl’s voice
is the only bit of faith
we need right now. . .
LET IT GO
RAIN FALLS
When the rain falls
it gathers in the potholes
the dipped
not so evenly carved out
valleys
deep earth scars
that hold it
more tenderly
than Angel hugs
until unnoticed
drop by drop
they evaporate in a
Sun’s Shine
that can never be imagined
only experienced
so that it wishes
for yet another time
when the rain falls
RE-TIRED
Everyone SHOOTS for
THAT DAY. . .
R E T I R E M E N T
At 65
with ONLY 149 days before I hit
6 6
the question I’ve been getting a lot is
WHEN ARE YOU RETIRING?
Many of my friends are already retired
and the ones that are not
give me how many
D A Y S
until they retirement
(YOU KNOW THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT!)
S O:
What is the ideal age to retire. . . ?
N E V E R,
according to a neuroscientist
Just recently Daniel Levity PhD wrote a book, Successful Aging: A Neuroscientist Explores the Power and Potential of our Lives that tries to uncover what just might be AN answer to that question
Rachel Chew did some noodling on this and came up with some of the following thoughts:
If you want to live a satisfying,
long life,
neuroscientist Daniel Levitin has some advice for you:
Stay busy. . .
What is the ideal age to retire?
Never. . .
Wait, What?
Even if you’re physically impaired, it’s best to keep working, either in a job or as a volunteer. Lamont Dozier, the co-writer of such iconic songs as “Heat Wave,” “Stop! In the Name of Love” and “Reach Out, I’ll Be There” (and with fourteen number-one Billboard hits), is 78 and still writing.
“I get up every morning and write for an hour or two,” he says. “It’s why the good Lord put me here.”
Too much time spent with no purpose is associated with unhappiness. Stay busy! But not with busy work or trivial pursuits, but with meaningful activities. Economists have coined the term unretirement to describe the hordes of people who retire, find they don’t like it, and go back to work. Between 25 and 40 percent of people who retire reenter the workforce.
Harvard University economist Nicole Maestas says, “You hear certain themes: a sense of purpose. Using your brain. And another key component is social engagement.
Recall Sigmund Freud’s words that the two most important things in life are to have love and meaningful work. (He was wrong about a great number of things, but he seems to have gotten that quote right.)
I interviewed a number of people between the ages of seventy and one hundred in order to better understand what contributes to life satisfaction.Every single one of them has continued working. Some, like musicians Donald Fagen of Steely Dan (age seventy-one) and Judy Collins (age eighty), have increased their workload. Others, like George Shultz (age ninety-nine) and the Dalai Lama (age eighty-four), have modified their work schedules to accommodate age-related slowing, but in the partial days they work, they accomplish more than most of their younger counterparts.
Staying busy with meaningful activities requires some strategies and reshifting priorities. Author Barbara Ehrenreich (age seventy-eight) rejects the many tests that her doctor orders because she doesn’t want to waste time in a doctor’s office for something that might only add three weeks to her life. Why?
“Because I have other things to do. Partly this seems to start for me with the kind of trade-off decision: Do I want to go sit in a windowless doctor’s office waiting room, or meet my deadline, or go for a walk? It always came down to the latter.”
Many employers will allow older adult workers to modify their schedules in order to continue working. In the US, employers are required to make reasonable accommodations, such as start and end times, break rooms, even a cot to lie down on for a nap, and age discrimination is illegal.
Age discrimination is similarly illegal in Canada, Mexico and Finland. The laws around the world vary. Generally, the European Union permits termination at the pension retirement age (in Germany, for example, that’s currently age sixty-five and is being extended to sixty-seven). In South Korea, the mandatory retirement age is sixty.
In other countries, such as Australia, the laws and interpretations of those laws are evolving. (Courts in Australia, for example, found in favor of Qantas Airways, which terminated a pilot at age sixty. Although this was in violation of the country’s Age Discrimination Act of 2004, the high court ruled that because it was a requirement of The Convention on International Civil Aviation that captains aged sixty or over be barred from flying over certain routes, termination of pilots over sixty was lawful.)
I think we need to work together to fight for changes in the way our societies see older adults, particularly how they see them in the workforce. Corporate culture in the US has tended toward ageism. It is difficult for older adults to get a job or get promoted. Two- thirds of American workers said they had witnessed or experienced age discrimination at work. Employers should recognize that offering opportunities to older workers is smart business, and not just a feel-good, charitable act. Multigenerational teams with older members tend to be more productive; older adults boost the productivity of those around them, and such teams outperform single-generational ones. Deutsche Bank has been at the forefront of this kind of approach, and they report fewer mistakes as well as increased positive feedback between young and old.
Many countries have passed laws prohibiting discrimination in employment against people with disabilities, including Alzheimer’s disease (for example, in the US, there was the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, and in the United Kingdom, the Equality Act of 2010).
The nonprofit BrightFocus Foundation lists accommodations that might be helpful for workers with Alzheimer’s:
• Incorporating reminders into their day — written or verbal
• Dividing large tasks into many smaller tasks
• Providing additional training when there are workplace changes
• Keeping the workspace clutter-free
• Reducing the number of hours worked per day or week
• Changing the time of day worked
In recognition of this, Heathrow Airport in London became the world’s first “dementia-friendly” airport, with one thousand employees dedicated to serving the special needs of those with cognitive impairment. Researchers at John Carroll University, a private Jesuit Catholic University in University Heights, Ohio, created an intergenerational choir, bringing together young people and older adults with dementia. It changed the attitudes of the students who participated, who talked about the closeness they felt in the choir and the development of intergenerational friendships. Through singing together, the adults with dementia felt included, welcomed, valued and respected.
The late Tennessee Women’s Basketball Coach Pat Summitt, who was also a silver medalist from the 1976 Summer Olympics, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in August 2011. She continued working, finishing out the athletic season through 2012. “There’s not going to be any pity party,” she said, “and I’ll make sure of that.”
If continuing to work in your job isn’t possible after a certain age, and if new employers aren’t willing to hire older workers, there are still ways to stay actively engaged in meaningful work. In the US, there’s the Head Start program, an organization that allowed my grandmother to come in and read to underprivileged children. The AARP Foundation has a program called Experience Corps, which matches older adults as tutors in public schools for economically disadvantaged children.
The program has had a positive impact on the children in the ways you’d imagine: improved literacy, increased test scores, and improved classroom and social behavior. But it also has a positive impact on the volunteers. In one study, volunteers felt a greater sense of accomplishment than a group of control participants and showed increases in brain volume for the hippocampus and cortex, compared to the controls, who had brain volume reductions. This was particularly true of male volunteers, who showed a reversal of three years of aging over two years of volunteering. As Anais Nin observed, “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” It’s true of brain volume as well.
That courage, that expansion of life, can come about in a variety of ways for different people: taking classes online, such as from Coursera or Khan Academy (but be sure you can interact to discuss what you’ve learned; learning in isolation can only go so far in keeping your mind active); joining (or hosting) a book club or current events discussion group; volunteering in a hospital or church; asking your local YMCA or church what they need; working in a soup kitchen.
There is a transformative effect in helping others. In his novel Disgrace, Nobel Prize-winning South African writer J. M. Coetzee wrote: “He continues to teach because … it teaches him humility, brings it home to him who he is in the world. The irony does not escape him: that the one who comes to teach learns the keenest of lessons, while those who come to learn learn nothing.”
I have observed this firsthand in my own life, although I like to think that my students avoided learning nothing. And I am perhaps not so cynical as Coetzee (or at least his character in the novel). I think the right teacher, the right believer in a child or an older adult, can tip the balance for that person’s life and help them to overcome life’s obstacles, to get on a track toward happiness and success that will lead them into successful aging. My teachers did that for me.
Excerpted with permission from the new book Successful Aging: A Neuroscientist Explores the Power and Potential of our Lives by Daniel J. Levitin. Published by Dutton, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © 2020 by Daniel Levitin.
So here’s an idea, Class:
How about instead of counting the days on the calendar
you make the days on the Calendar
C O U N T
don’t skip one of them
don’t let one of them slip by
LOOK AHEAD
to
LOOKING BACK
a n d
simply remember:
(and assure your timelessness)
WHY EVER RETIRE FROM
T H A T
?
Not ANOTHER Birthday
Mark Twain
once said,
“The two most important days in your life are
THE DAY YOU ARE BORN
a n d
THE DAY YOU FIND OUT WHY”
We celebrate a person’s Birthday
Not because of the Day that they were born
But because of what they have born
Because of what they have given Birth in us. . .
I’ve celebrated well over 36
of my wife,
Erin’s Birthday’s
with her
And not one of them
has ever been without the over apparent
R E C O G N I T I O N
that I,
that many
are far more better
no so much
because she’s been Born
but because of what she has BIRTHED
in us. . .
Erin
creates
CARING CATALYSTS
in everyone she meets
or those who come across
her paths
“I never saw it coming
and all of a sudden
there was YOU
and I don’t have to live without you anymore. . .”
which means that the best
Birthday Gift of all
Is what you cause to be born in others. . .
Your Colorful Confetti
just doesn’t’ flutter from you. . .
IT EXPLODES ALL OVER US
and
THROUGH US
There’s no Candle on a Cake
that could ever illuminate more
and it’s
u n e x t i n g u i s h a b l e
Some actually powerfully prove
their Flicker
never compares to the
F L A M E
they ignite
and spread to others
. . .talk about a
fortunate inextinguishable inferno. . .
IT’S IN EVERY ONE OF US
I first saw this clip of
It’s In Everyone Of Us
by David Pomeranz
nearly 30 years ago
and yet
T O D A Y
it feels
new all over again
with one simple message:
LET’S GET ALONG
The seeds of Peace lie within each of us;
but no seed grows that’s not planted,
nurtured,
harvested
and ultimately
s h a r e d. . .
And the tools
are already in your hands
to be used
. . .will you?
W H E N ?
but a realization
waiting for you
to make it happen
It’s TIME to
A C T
like IT
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