The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

ALL-WAYS A SEASON

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In this era, where a lot of people are becoming more and more indifferent towards one another, kindness is coming at an expensive price. It is not often that you see people showing kindness towards others. BUT. . .I found this video recently where there was a prepared set of different videos to prove that wrong. Throughout the video, you can watch Santa providing warm clothes to homeless people or older woman praising stranger for doing cool tricks with skateboard and many others. As always I hope this afflicts the Caring Catalyst in you that by merely watching the video, you will realize that kindness in humanity hasn’t been lost completely and there are still people out there ready to show acts of kindness not only to their close ones, but also to any random strangers and make them emotional or even cry by their acts of kindness. THAT it’ll inspire you to bring a special warmth to Another’s CHILL.          .          .Enjoy watching the video.            .            .

AND REMEMBER:

YES, PLEASE and THANK YOU

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T            H            I             S
is a picture that needs no caption
especially TIME of the year
when our already hectic lives go in to
C         H         A         O           S
m o d e
CRAZY ON STEROIDS.             .              .
where calm feels like just a word
but not a feeling
or another WAY.       .      .
which is why I dug deep into my files
and with the help of the
GREATER GOOD Editors
have provided some much needed
r e s p i t e
(IF YOU’LL TAKE IT TO HAVE IT)

Good Resources for Thriving Over the Holidays

Here are some articles that explore holiday stress management, managing conflict, picking gifts, making resolutions, and more.          .         .

The holidays can be rough—really rough at times; so here are literally dozens of articles and that try to help readers navigate the issues that arise when far-flung family members gather, everyone expects a present, and they all have an opinion. There are also some collected articles on making sense of this quickly-almost-gone-previous year and looking ahead to the new one. However you celebrate or are celebrated, here’s wishing you some severely-well-deserved-happy holidays!

Click to jump to a section:

Holiday stress management
New ways to think about gifting and celebration
The psychology of generosity and gratitude
Raising generous, grateful kids
Looking ahead to the new year

Holiday stress management

New ways to think about gifting and celebration

The psychology of generosity and gratitude

Raising generous, grateful kids

Looking ahead to the new year

It’s enough to just not get your wires crossed but to literally,
BLOW A CIRCUIT.            .          .
and here’s the biggest kicker of all,
it’s not that we don’t have the
R E S O U R C E S
of countless
WHAT TO DO’S
(uhhhhhhhhhhhh did you see how long this blog post is, already)
so much as utilizing them
plugging some of them in
and unplugging a few others
B                           U                          T
will you.          .         .

It just may be all of the difference between a really good or a really bad
h    o    l    i    d    a    y
(AND YOU GET TO CHOOSE.  .  .or let it CHOOSE FOR YOU)

NOT JUST ANOTHER DAY AFTER

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One of my favorite memories for years on end was one that I was never a part of.

It was always the day after Thanksgiving and very early after coffee and nut roll and a light breakfast, my sister, my mother, my grandmother, and sometimes my aunt would all venture either downtown, or in very later years, to the mall to do what to shop fericiously, even before there was a Black Friday.

And shop they did; they invented the phrase SHOP TILL YOU DROP, and they literally would come home exhausted with packages upon packages, most of them not wrapped because that was another venture, too. They would come home to what hungry people, mostly the kids and the guys who didn’t go shopping all day but sat around and watched football and waited and waited and waited for the girls to come home so that they could scarf down the reheated Thanksgiving dinner that we had the night before.  It was the same dinner and yet, somehow, it tasted better if that’s possible; maybe the tired but happy hands that prepared it was just the PINCH of that little something, something that made it taste better; no matter, it was delicious, even in memory form these 55-60 years later.

Why did it always taste better then?  Why would a memory like this bring so much peace when I wasn’t even a part of it?  But what I was a part of, the very fact of that feeling that it brought me when I can still hear the crunch of the gravel knowing that they were home safely and what was about the follow was another great meal even better family time and sometimes a game of trivia pursuit.  It defined fun in a way a dictionary never has been able to capture.  It brought peace in a way that nice ocean waves or a calm lake or a babbling. brook never could interpret.  And what it brought most of the time couldn’t be defined, or couldn’t be explained and even now barely understood, even all of these years later.  But the thought of it, the memory in my crevices, I can experience it all over again even taste it, so much so, there’s nothing that can be opened out of a can or brought out of a refrigerator or re-heated that equals it.

That was Thanksgiving in a way that didn’t just last a day or a weekend but continued throughout the season because we all knew what was going to follow: More shopping, the baking of cookies and yes, Christmas and better still the week between Christmas and New Year’s. It was a Wonderland that to this day transforms me to a WANDERLAND, one that you never wanted to wander away from. Even now I wander back into that amazing Wonder, not wanting to leave thinking, knowing nothing can ever compare or replace it.

So you see it’s not just a day after, it’s an everlasting day that was, that is, and thankfully right now, as long as my memory holds out, will always be.          .          .

As much as you JUST

celebrated THANKSGIVING

.         .          .and even though your Stomach might still be full,

I hope your heart is EMPTY enough to

truly continue this Season of

T     H     A     N     K     S
G           E          T          T          I          N          G

.          .          .may it be way better than you have planned

or    i m a g i n e d
(as you WANDER through your WONDER of yesteryears)

YOUR THANKSGIVING TABLE

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In this special Thanksgiving of The Caring Catalyst Blog,  my invitation is to have you go and be the reason another can be thankful, because the best table to ever be around isn’t the one with endless food; it’s the one with ongoing and everlasting sustenance that satisfies every hunger, quenches every thirst, binds up every wound, and makes every heart less lonely as it welcomes, always welcomes and never disappoints.
THIS will be the mysterious blessing of:
AS YOU FEED SO SHALL YOU BE FED
and full, ever full will your Soul be.          .          .          .

Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
Even if you don’t like what folks
bring to the
T A B L E.    .    .
NEVER LET THEM EAT ALONE

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

THE SHAPE YOU’RE IN

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Grant Snider over atIncidental Comics

reminds us:“The stories we tell ourselves shape our reality. We may try to box ourselves in, but we’re much more expansive and multifaceted than we think. Maybe if we tried to count our sides, they’d approach infinity—like a circle.”

“Perhaps perfect shapes aren’t the best metaphor for the self. Wouldn’t you rather be beach glass, glimmering in the sun? Or an oddly flat stone, perfect for skipping? Inside we all feel lumpy and irregular. A bit misshapen. And we’re never quite as stable as we pretend to be.”
“May you find your own way to shape your story. To show off your sharp corners and imperfections. To arrange your life in a unique composition. To create a geometric masterpiece.”

(My thanks to Grant Snider.

And Happy Ongoing New Year to YOU!)

FREEZE THE FRAME

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We all have those
FREEZE THE FRAME MOMENTS
that make memories even more precious than they are
especially this time of the year.         .        .

This is one of my
FREEZE THE FRAME MOMENTS.           .          .
This picture of my sister and I was taken in front of my grandparents fireplace on a Christmas morning. I was two and my sister was 4. It was before my two other brothers were born. I have no idea what I got for Christmas that morning but I know the people who gave me the gifts loved me and even in death, still do which is
THE BEST GIFT OF ALL.      .     .
What’s your
FREEZE THE FRAME MOMENT?
No matter what they may have been
or even if they are in the making
it allows us to know that our
 M          E          M          O           R          I          E          S
mean
N O T H I N G
unless
L          O          V          E
is attached to them
and then they are everything they are
everything they were
and everything they’re to become
FREEZE THE FRAME
and may your greatest memories
be those yet to be
f r a m e a b l e

 

A LITTLE SAINT NICK(Y) IN ALL OF US

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D     I     S     C     L     A     I     M     E     R
THIS NOT MY STORY
uhhhhh but I’m hoping in someway somehow it just might be!

A very Dear Friend sent this to me, please take a few moments during this busy time  to read it.          .          .

“In 1979, I was managing a Wendy’s in Port Richey, Florida. Unlike today, staffing was never a real problem, but I was searching for a someone to work three hours a day only at lunch. I went thru all my applications and most were all looking for full time or at least 20 hours per week. I found one however, buried at the bottom of a four-inch stack that was only looking for lunch part-time. His name was Nicky. Hadn’t met him but thought I would give him a call and see if he could stop by for an interview. When I called, he wasn’t in but his mom said she would make sure he would be there.

At the accorded time, Nicky walked in. One of those moments when my heart went in my throat. Nicky had Downs Syndrome. His physical appearance was a giveaway and his speech only reinforced the obvious. I was young and sheltered. Had never interacted on a professional level with a developmentally disabled person. I had no clue what to do, so I went ahead and interviewed him. He was a wonderful young man. Great outlook.

Task focused. Excited to be alive. For only reasons God knew at that time, I hired him. 3 hours a day, 3 days a week to run a grill. I let the staff know what to expect. Predictably, the crew made sure I got the message, “no one wants to work with a retard.”

To this day I find that word offensive. We had a crew meeting, cleared the air, and prepared for his arrival. Nicky showed up for work right on time.

He was so excited to be working. He stood at the time clock literally shaking with anticipation. He clocked in and started his training. Couldn’t multi task, but was a machine on the grill. Now for the fascinating part…..

Back in that day, there were no computer screens to work from. Every order was called by the cashier. It required a great deal of concentration on the part of all production staff to get the order right.

While Nicky was training during his first shift, the sandwich maker next to him asked the grillman/trainer what was on the next sandwich. Nicky replied, “single, no pickle no onion.” A few minutes later it happened again. It was then that we discovered Nicky had a hidden and valuable skill.

He memorized everything he heard!  Photographic hearing! WHAT A SKILL SET. It took 3 days and every sandwich maker requested to work with Nicky. He immediately was accepted by the entire crew. After his shift he would join the rest of his crew family, drinking Coke like it was water!

It was then that they discovered another Rainman-esque trait. Nicky was a walking/talking perpetual calendar! With a perpetual calendar as a reference, they would sit for hours asking him what day of the week was December 22, 1847. He never missed. This uncanny trait mesmerized the crew.

His mom would come in at 2 to pick him up. More times than not, the crew would be back there with him hamming it up. As I went to get him from the back, his mom said something I will never forget. “Let him stay there as long as he wants. He has never been accepted anywhere like he has been here.” I excused myself and dried my eyes, humbled and broken-hearted at the lesson I just learned.

Nicky had a profound impact on that store. His presence changed a lot of people. Today I believe with every fiber of my body that Nicky’s hiring was no accident. God’s Timing and Will is Perfect.

This Christmas, I hope we all understand what we are celebrating. We are all like Nicky. We each have our shortcomings. We each have our strong points. But we are all of value. God made us that way and God doesn’t make mistakes. Nicky certainly wasn’t a mistake. He was a valuable gift that I am forever grateful for.

We are celebrating the birth of the ONE that leveled the playing field for all of us. God doesn’t care if you are rich or poor, republican or democrat or black or white. He doesn’t care if your chromosome structure is perfect. He doesn’t care what level of education you have attained.

He cares about your heart. He wants us all to love and appreciate the gift HE gave us on Christmas, His son, the Savior, our salvation. His Son that was born to die for our sins. To pay our debt. To provide us a path for eternity. So this Christmas, let’s check our hearts. There is a little bit of Nicky in all of us and I suspect there is a Nicky somewhere in your life that is looking for the chance to be embraced. Be grateful for that!”
NO
THIS IS NOT MY STORY
it most likely isn’t your’s either.            .             .
but it
COULD BE
Reflect on these words from Donna Cameron:

Being kind—truly kind—is hard. Nice requires little effort. I can be nice while also being indifferent, critical, and even sarcastic. But I can’t be kind and be any of those things. Being kind means caring. It means making an effort. It means thinking about the impact I’m having in an interaction with someone and endeavoring to make it rich and meaningful—giving them what they need at that exact moment, without worrying about whether I get anything in return. It means letting go of my judgments and accepting people as they are. Kindness requires me to do something my upbringing discouraged—it demands that I reach out and that I take a risk . . . [that I] might be rebuffed, ignored, or disrespected. 

A life of kindness is not something that I live only when it suits me. I’m not a kind person if I’m kind only when it’s easy or convenient. A life of kindness means being kind when it’s neither convenient nor easy—in fact, sometimes it might be terribly hard and tremendously inconvenient. That’s when it matters most. That’s when the need is greatest and transformation dances at the edge of possibility. That’s the time to take a deep breath and invite kindness

CONFETTI THOUGHTS

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SOME call it a lack of focus
SOME call it A D D
SOME call it daydreaming
SOME call it mind flutterings
SOME call it word salad
SOME call it mind confetti
SOME call it brain diarrhea
SOME just call
and here’s some of mine
which WARNING, WARNING, WARNING
may cause a few some of your
WHATEVER-YOU-CALL-IT’S
of your own:

Sometimes we have to dance to music we don’t even like
*            *            *
The edge of the sacred is a lot more closer to your center than you know
*            *            *
It’s not swimming or bathing just because you dipped your toe in the water
*            *            *
BELONGING: You’ll never be accepted if you’re not accepting
*            *            *
What makes you think it’s not temporary especially when it feels so permanent
*            *            *
There’s a thin line between sacred and sacrilege with a few misplaced letters
*            *            *
LANE STAYING: When you’re in it, you’re criticized, when you’re out of it, you’re crucified
*            *            *
Living in the ‘ISH’ while living with the ‘ISM’S’
*            *            *
How we see ourselves may be contorted and at the same time distinctly accurate
*            *            *
The Village in you is so much needed by the Village in another
*            *            *
When the terrible inevitable is there, so is your presence
*            *            *
IS THIS AN ACT OF LOVE is the only question needed in asking before proceeding with anything
*            *            *
When you fish with a worm of worry you’ll catch a whale of unnecessary pain
*            *            *
There’s a difference between education and learning–Know/Show it
*            *            *
Expectations are resentments waiting to happen
*            *            *
The worst kind of water walking is when you choose not to do it
*            *            *
LIGHT can always be squeezed from darkness, most of the time without much pressure
*            *            *
Living in the THEN instead of the NOW will never get you to the WHEN
*            *            *
If you’re going to look back, give yourself a better reason to look forward
*            *            *
It’s one thing to give life and another to add direction and meaning to it
*            *            *
The problem with RED FLAGS is all of us at times are color blind
*            *            *
We agree to disagree until we don’t
*            *            *
What I think is real, what I do is true
*            *            *
Live AS IF always
*            *            *

I  WONDER  WORDS

WHEW.             .            Right?
MIND DUMPINGS
which is quite a bit different than the normal
PHOTO DUMPS
after a vacation or a family gathering or. . .
Just the same, maybe this will all give you permission to have some
MIND DUMPINGS
of your own.     .     .
Let your
CONFETTI THOUGHTS
fly and flutter about
(and who knows, where they land they just might be the seeds sewn worth sprouting)

NEVER TOO EARLY

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W   E   L   L.          .          .          ?

Is it still too early to celebrate Christmas?
(only 40 days away)
Yeah, it’s time for that debate again S O.    .    .
what say you?

Naomi Ludlow from USA TODAY took a real good look at this and had some interesting facts and fictions.  I was actually in COSTCO over the Labor Day weekend and BAM there was just a small aisle of Christmas trees and lights.  Now that Halloween marked the end of spooky season and is a full two weeks behind us, there’s a constant debate on when we should start celebrating Christmas. In recent years, we’ve seen the festive period creep in as early as Nov. 1.  Sirius/XM Radio already has there stations blaring the Christmas tunes and families put up decorations and some get a head start on buying presents because there are BLACK FRIDAY sales before Black Friday now.

And so the now-annual debate has begun: When is the “proper” time to start decking the halls, decorating the Christmas tree and belting out those merry songs?

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
I never take mine down, we just decorate it for the different seasons/holiday’s as they come and go

Social media starts popping with personal opinions, with some demanding all Christmas cheer cease and desist until Thanksgiving has been observed, while other Santa Claus celebrants proclaim Dec. 1 as the official start of the season.

And then of course there are the uber-eager fans, including the self-proclaimed “Queen of Christmas,” Mariah Carey, who say Nov. 1 is the right time to kick off the holiday season.

Yet even as the start of the holiday remains up for debate, there’s more than just personal traditions and preferences on the line. Regardless of where you may fall on this seasonal battle, there are some very real reasons why some people decide to start the celebrations long before what others may believe appropriate.

Christmas lights before Thanksgiving:There’s a reason behind the ‘act of kindness,’ experts say

Holiday traditions bring comfort to some,
but sadness to others

The past two years have been a time of isolation and new norms that sent many into a frenzy. The same goes for how we’ve celebrated the holidays. Families adjusted by having virtual gatherings, but for many, the joy of the season remained.

For most people, the holidays are a time to step away from normal routines, reconnect with family and close friends, and destress.

“We’re kind of stuck in the day-to-day and putting out fires in our lives, but taking the time to prioritize some celebrations with friends and family really creates positive feelings and helps us enjoy life,” said clinical psychologist Ryan Howes.

Thus a reason for some to want to capitalize on as many holiday events as possible – to give people hope of the better times that are ahead.

“For many people, the holidays are associated with positive emotional arousal,” psychotherapist Owen O’Kane told USA TODAY. The Sunday Times bestselling author continued, “And that could be linked to the fact that many people associate the holiday period with warmth, family, nostalgia and connection.”

Leading up to the holiday season, people look forward to their established family traditions and often set expectations linked to their fond childhood memories. A scientific study showed that when humans set expectations for pleasure, we produce dopamine, which is a chemical messenger that tells the brain how happy we feel.

On the other hand, some people don’t see the holidays as a fond memory. This time can cause stress and be difficult to get through. These people will produce chemicals such as cortisol and adrenaline, according to O’Kane.

Oftentimes, those who dread the holiday season are trying to overcome hardships, whether it’s dealing with issues such as grief, family disputes, and drug and/or alcohol abuse.

We may crave those Christmas memories

As humans, we recall memories through our five senses, with smell being the most prominent.

When we smell freshly baked cookies, it can take us to a time we spent making cookies with Grandma. Seeing twinkly lights helps us remember the time Dad almost fell off the ladder while trying to decorate the house. Touching an old ornament brings back the memory of making it with siblings. This is called sensory activation and is a leading reason why the holidays are highly anticipated.

Retailers play a big part in activating our senses. They understand how our minds work and want us to participate in the process.

“The next time you go to the department store and you look at the amount of effort into how displays are laid out, how lighting is done, how colors are used, how music is used in the background, all of it is used very cleverly to stimulate us,” O’Kane told USA TODAY.

The layout forces the consumer to feel the holiday vibe and urges them to buy gifts. This is just one of the tactics besides holiday deals to get people involved.

Colors also impact how we participate in the season.

“Red stimulates and energizes – even our spending. Waitresses wearing red receive 14 to 26% higher tips than waitresses wearing any other color uniform,” according to a Psychology Today article. “Green is an optimistic color associated with luck and wealth. It’s also been shown to have a positive effect on creativity. A possible explanation for some of the more unusual gifts found under the tree.”

So why not start celebrating now?

Dread, overstimulation and even disappointment keep people from wanting to participate in the holiday season.

A study on the Christmas blues shows that the holidays may increase stress before they start and could increase uneasy feelings afterward. There are a number of reasons this can happen, including finances, grief, loneliness, estrangement, or divorce or pleasing.

All of the expectations we set in the beginning of the season are far more exciting than the actual holiday, Howes told USA TODAY. But sometimes we are faced with disappointment if things didn’t go as planned.

O’Kane suggested we create a balance so we aren’t overwhelmed as the season approaches and aren’t disappointed at the end.

SO  WHICH  ARE  YOU ?
If you follow me at all over social media, you know I’m a big-never-stop-never-let-go-of-celebrating-Christmas.  Some would say, I’m a walking/talking/living
Christmas Card
But
with a purpose and a strong reason and a powerful meaning:
TO TAKE THE FEELING
TO HAVE THE KINDNESS
TO ALLOW THE SPECIALNESS OF THIS SEASON
to be a part of our
e  v e r y d a y s
(which is why I post a Christmas picture the 25th of each month so that we literally can
PRACTICE MERRY CHRISTMAS
So let the stories be read
let the stories be told
and most of all,
LET THEM BE WRITTEN AND RE-WRITTEN
in each of us as we celebrate in our own ways
and hopefully be the reason and a part of another’s
celebration
AND THEN THERE’S THIS:
Maybe the greatest gift you may be able to give during these upcoming days
is the greatest gift Another can receive:
T      O      L      E      R      A      N      C      E

 

MAKING MUSIC OUT OF MUCK

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Kids living in a slum built on a landfill in Paraguay create an orchestra made of trash, The Recycled Orchestra, and tour the world, finally realizing their wildest dream: to play with the heavy metal band, Megadeth.          .         .

There is not one of us that doesn’t have a trash heap landfill right in the middle of us. I mean right there at our Center.  It surrounds our soul, but it doesn’t imprison our Essence

So maybe the biggest question is not what kind of a landfill do you have in you but what kind of music are you making out of the junk, the throwaways/discardeds in your life?


P        O        N        D       E          R
while you wander through a rare double-feature
Monday Video Blog

Making MUSIC out of MUCK
is one of our greatest purposes in life
and our grandest contribution
especially when it begins with ourselves
So cue up
that magnificent Instrument of yourself
and PLAY ON
Share Your Music
and bring some much needed harmony
MUCK
TO
M U S I C

 

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man