THE RUN FOR HAPPINESS

October 25, 2021 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” ~ Lily Tomlin

So what’s your
H A P P I N E S S
or
maybe the more inspired question:
WHAT IS YOUR HAPPINESS
T R A P. . .

HAPPINESS
isn’t a race
or a journey
or a destination
or a goal
or something to be found in a
bottle
syringe
formula
potion
therapy
meditation
object
relationship
but
merely
simply
in a lifestyle
that could easily
generate
appreciate
A HAPPINESS
that doesn’t have to be
imagined
or
manufactured
ONLY ENJOYED
(no trap involved)

THE FUNERAL

October 11, 2021 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

No matter what religion or spiritual path you follow (or don’t), there’s one topic that fascinates us all:What happens after we die?

Reincarnation? Eternal Heaven? Total blackness and non-existence? Something totally different?

No matter what we believe though, there’s a few basic facts about death that we all know to be true.

The first fact of death is the obvious:
We’ve all been born with a sexually transmitted disease
called: LIFE
and none of us gets out of here
A L I V E

YES. . . we are all going to die. Yes, every single person on this planet is going to die someday, somehow, somewhere.

The second fact is less obvious:

After we die, our lives will be etched in the hearts of others. We live eternally. Forever. In other people.

That’s what today’s video is really about.

It’s about the relationships we forge during our lives that are so powerful they impact people even after we die.

Today’s movie is called “The Funeral.” It starts with a little bit of humor, and it quickly goes deep and gets to the heart of the matter. . .a heart that beats like no other when filled with a love that death can’t begin to part let alone forget. . .

SO HERE’S THE DEAL:

THE DEEPER YOU LOVE
THE DARKER YOU HURT
so. . .
LOVE DEEPER, STILL
LOVE DEEPER, MORE
L O V E

Happiness VS Purpose

March 3, 2021 By ChuckBehrens 4 Comments

Would you rather be
HAPPY. . .

Would you rather have a Purpose. . .

IS THERE A DIFFERENCE . . ?

According to Dr Dhruv Khullar, who is a physician at New York-Presbyterian Hospital as well as a Researcher at the Weill Cornell Department of Healthcare Policy Research there’s not just a difference but a major distinction. . .

Finding Purpose for a
Good Life. . .

But Also a Healthy
One. . .

Happiness has little to do with it. Research suggests meaning in your life is important for well-being.

Image

Volunteering to help children, for example, or to take care of a pet can improve your well-being, research suggests. CreditIgor Kovalenko/European Pressphoto Agency

Dr. Khullar explains:

My favorite medical diagnosis is “failure to thrive.”

Not because patients are failing to thrive — that part makes me sad. But because of the diagnosis’s bold proposition: Humans, in their natural state, are meant to thrive.

My patient, however, was not in his natural state. Cancer had claimed nearly every organ in his body. He’d lost a quarter of his body mass. I worried his ribs would crack under the weight of my stethoscope.

“You know,” he told me the evening I admitted him. “A few years ago, I wouldn’t have cared if I made it. ‘Take me God,’ I would’ve said. ‘What good am I doing here anyway?’ But now you have to save me. Sadie needs me.”

He’d struggled with depression most of his life, he said. Strangely enough, it seemed to him, he was most at peace while caring for his mother when she had Parkinson’s, but she died years ago. Since then, he had felt aimless, without a sense of purpose, until Sadie wandered into his life.

Sadie was his cat.

Only about a quarter of Americans strongly endorse having a clear sense of purpose and of what makes their lives meaningful, while nearly 40 percent either feel neutral or say they don’t. This is both a social and a public health problem: Research increasingly suggests that purpose is important for a meaningful life — but also for a healthy life. . .

Purpose and meaning are connected to what researchers call eudaimonic well-being. This is distinct from, and sometimes inversely related to, happiness (hedonic well-being). One constitutes a deeper, more durable state, while the other is superficial and transient.

Being a pediatric oncologist, for example, is not a “happy” job, but it may be a very rewarding one. Raising a family can be profoundly meaningful, but parents are often less happy while interacting with their children than exercising or watching television.

Having purpose is linked to a number of positive health outcomes, including better sleep, fewer strokes and heart attacks, and a lower risk of dementia, disability and premature death. Those with a strong sense of purpose are more likely to embrace preventive health services, like mammograms, colonoscopies and flu shots.

And people with high scores on measures of eudaimonic well-being have low levels of pro-inflammatory gene expression; those with high scores on hedonic pleasure have just the opposite.

Doing good, it seems, is better than feeling good.

One study analyzed how having purpose influences one’s risk of dementia. Researchers assessed baseline levels of purpose for 951 individuals without dementia, then followed them for seven years, controlling for things like depression, neuroticism, socioeconomic status and chronic disease. Those who had expressed a greater sense of purpose were 2.4 times less likely to develop Alzheimer’s, and were far less likely to develop even minor cognitive problems.

Another study followed more than 6,000 individuals over 14 years and found that those with greater purpose were 15 percent less likely to die than those who were aimless, and that having purpose was protective across the life span — for people in their 20s as well as those in their 70s.

Helping other people can also be a way to help oneself. A volunteer with a box of supplies in DuPont, Wash., the location of a deadly Amtrak derailment last month. CreditGrant Hindsley/seattlepi.com, via Associated Press

Having purpose is not a fixed trait, but rather a modifiable state: Purpose can be honed through strategies that help us engage in meaningful activities and behaviors. This has implications at both the dinner table and the hospital bed.

A recent randomized control trial compared the effect of “meaning-centered” versus “support-focused” group therapy for patients with metastatic cancer. Patients in the support groups met weekly and discussed things like “the need for support,” “coping with medical tests” and “communicating with providers.”

Patients in the meaning-centered groups focused instead on spiritual and existential questions. They explored topics like “meaning before and after cancer,” “what made us who we are today,” and “things we have done and want to do in the future.” Meaning-centered patients experienced fewer physical symptoms, had a higher quality of life, felt less hopeless — and were more likely to want to keep living.

Other research suggests that school programs that allow students to discuss positive emotions and meaningful experiences may enhance psychological well-being, and protect against future behavioral challenges. But this isn’t how we usually operate. We instead assume that anxiety and depression are problems to be treated — not that emotional resilience and human flourishing are states to be celebrated.

What’s powerful about these conversations is not just that they can help cancer patients through treatment or help teenagers build resiliency — they can also help the rest of us. We should all consider asking ourselves and our loved ones these questions more often.

Dr Khullar goes on to explain in personal detail:

During my most trying months of medical school, I met every Sunday evening with three friends. Phones off, lights dim, wine glasses full. We shared the most challenging and most rewarding moments of our weeks. These conversations helped each of us glean — or perhaps create — meaning in challenging, sometimes traumatic, experiences: the death of a child we’d cared for; abusive language from a superior; the guilt of committing a medical error.

It was in these sessions that I chose my specialty, decided to apply to policy school, and vowed to reconnect with a lost friend.

Meaning grows not just from conversation, of course, but also from action. One recent study randomly assigned 10th graders to volunteer weekly with elementary students — to help with homework, cooking, sports, or arts and crafts — or put them on a wait list.

Teenagers who volunteered had lower levels of inflammation, better cholesterol profiles and lower body mass index. Those who had the biggest jumps in empathy and altruism scores had the largest reductions in cardiovascular risk.

Engaging in these kinds of activities may be most important for individuals whose identity is in flux, like parents with children leaving for college or workers preparing for retirement. A program run by Experience Corps, an organization that trains older adults to tutor children in urban public schools, has shown marked improvements in mental and physical health among tutors. The improvements included higher self-esteem, more social connectedness, and better mobility and stamina. (The children do better, too.)

REAL LIVE CARING CATALYST KIND OF STUFF, Huh?

This work hints at an underlying truth:

Finding purpose is rarely an epiphany, nor is it something you pick up at the mall or download from the app store. It can be a long, arduous process that requires introspection and conversation, then a commitment to act.

The key to a deeper, healthier life, it seems, isn’t knowing the meaning of life — it’s building meaning into your life. Even if meaning is a four-legged friend named Sadie. . .

Wait. . .

What. . .

Is being a Caring Catalyst

that simple

Is being a Kind person

that simple

Is being a Happy Person

that simple

Is being a Person with a Purpose

that simple. . .

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .

i s

i t

N O T ?

A Place Where Dreams Come True

September 28, 2020 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

This past week, Gayle Sayers a Hall of Fame Football player died and in reviewing his life in the sports world the question came up:
WHAT SPORT’S MOVIE MADE YOU CRY

BRIAN’S SONG first aired, November 30, 1971
and I remember
ohhhh yeah, crying
(s h o c k e r)
but also calling my (STILL) best friend, Joe Nicolella
to do what we always did after a
sporting event
movie
album
book
. . .d i s c u s s
I don’t think that either one of us admitted it to each other
but yeah, be both cried
and maybe because
to this day
Joe and I have that
close
don’t-have-to-talk-to-you-everyday-to-know-what-you-think/feel
relationship. . .
but what about that Sport’s movie. . . ?

This one, for me has to have a top three consideration. . .
The movie is a sports fantasy drama
that came out in 1989 and was nominated for an Academy Award
It has a fantastic
music score
a great cast of
Kevin Costner, Amy Madigan, James Earl Jones, Ray Liotta and
Burt Lancaster
that culminates in the last scene
that answers the statements
that haunt throughout the movie:
IF YOU BUILD IT HE WILL COME
and
EASE HIS PAIN
both of which talked about Costner’s dad
who actually comes in this last scene
where they both wonder
IS THIS HEAVEN
and
IS THERE A HEAVEN
with the powerful answer of
“Oh yeah. . .It’s the place where dreams come true.”

N O N E
of us have ever lived in a
2020-like
Time before
and we’ve each experienced it
the same
and yet so differently at times
with there be no wonder
why it feels
THE FARTHEST PLACE FROM HEAVEN
. . .and yet. . .
has there been a little bits of
h e a v e n
in all of this
seemingly
unending
h e l l

THE KEY TO A HAPPY HEART
IS MAKING ANOTHER’S
H A P P Y
. . .TRUE OR FALSE
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
You answer with every act
with every act
you create
(or demolish)
A PLACE WHERE DREAMS COME TRUE
. . .Quick,
Pass me a tissue

Hap-Hap-Happppp

January 15, 2020 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

ARE YOU HAPPY. . .
DO YOU WANT TO BE. . ?

5 Ways to Lead a Happier Life, According to One of the World’s Most Famous Social Psychologists

Roy Baumeister and John Tierney’s new book ‘The Power of Bad’ is all about the negativity bias, how it affects you, and how you can avoid it.

BY JOSH ST. CLAIRDEC 24, 2019

ILLUSTRATION BY NEIL WEBB

Humans are hardwired for negativity. We dwell on the bad. We assume the worst. We’re way more likely to remember that one time our boss told us we were sloppy than the ten times she told us we were great. And as much as we try to look on the bright side of half-empty (-full!) glasses, we’re just not built that way. The human brain developed millennia ago, when danger roamed the savanna, ready to ambush and kill us at any moment, and that led to what Roy Baumeister, Ph.D., a professor of social psychology at Florida State University, has dubbed the “negativity bias” that still governs how we think.

The only trouble is that for all the times it might keep us alive, negativity bias also has a way of causing us a ton of unnecessary stress. “The negativity bias gives us a warped view of the world,” says John Tierney, who worked with Baumeister to coauthor the upcoming book The Power of Bad. We focus only on what’s going wrong (in the present) and assume that it will keep going wrong (in the future). We despair, lose hope, and conclude that things won’t change. As if that weren’t already bad enough, Twitter, Instagram, and other feeds hit us with crisis after crisis. But there’s some hope: Through their research, Baumeister and Tierney have found real solutions that can help us fight our instincts and keep us out of a daily emotional funnel cloud. The Power of Bad: How the Negativity Effect Rules Us and How We Can Rule Itamazon.com$14.99SHOP NOW

1. Unleash the Power of the Rule of Four

Five to one. That’s the famous Gottman Ratio, a predictive formula showing that couples tend to stay together when they have five times as many positive experiences as negative ones. Baumeister thinks of it as a positivity ratio, and when it comes to your kids, your spouse, your underlings and bosses, he recommends aiming for a more attainable ratio of about four to one. For every negative comment you feel compelled to make, make four positive ones. Baumeister even believes that this four-to-one ratio applies to other aspects of your life. For instance, if you’re having sex with your partner four times for every one argument (sex because of arguments probably doesn’t count), then your relationship is likely positive.

2. Remember the Honeymoon

Nostalgia used to be a dirty word. People prone to indulging in nostalgia were thought to be depressed or living in the past, says Tierney. But recent research has shown something else entirely. Far from keeping you down, nostalgia—yearning for past positive events or relationships—can actually pick you up. In one study, people who were prompted to think of an experience that made them “long for the past” before work reported feeling more motivated and therefore worked harder than those who were
asked to think of an ordinary life event.

Another study even showed that people experiencing nostalgia judged a room to be warmer than those remembering an everyday event. Your move: Spend a moment before your workday begins to relive a special memory. Then extend the good vibes by writing down four keywords that best describe that memory.

3. Play the (Glad) Game

You may not like tooting your own horn, but a proven way to combat negativity is to heighten positive experiences, and highlighting the positives gives them extra power. “When something good happens, sharing that good news with people you care about makes it more important, gives it a bigger impact, and it helps you develop a bond with the person you’re sharing with,” explains Tierney. Pay attention to and celebrate other people’s victories, too. If they share good news with you, really hear it. A “That’s great!” /“Amazing!”/“Tell me about it!” ratchets up positivity. Even better if you put down your phone for the story and your response. On the flip side, you can also draw strength from negative experiences. Baumeister points to Shelley Taylor’s research on breast cancer patients. “The surprising thing was that most of them ended up talking about it as a positive experience,” he says. They saw it as an opportunity to make positive changes: to appreciate life, to focus on the present, to manage stress. One way to reframe is to think about what you can learn from a negative experience, not how it holds you back.

Illustration of DIY helmet with light bulbs

4. Check Yourself

“Why do you think you’re a good relationship partner?” That’s what Baumeister asks in his senior psych class at FSU. Many of his students list what they do well, saying that maybe being a good listener or a good sexual partner gives them an edge. It’s good to be good. “But what makes more impact,” says Baumeister, “is not doing the bad things.” Because bad always outweighs good, what you do is less important than what you don’t do. Sometimes that means holding your tongue, he adds, and putting a lid on the judging or curtness for minor infractions.

5. Focus on the Present

For the majority of us, our greatest negativity is behind us—in our tendency to dwell on past mistakes and regrets, according to Baumeister’s current research. The future also carries negativity: stress about outcomes and potential failures. The present, however, is something of a golden mean, a place away from all that. “The mindfulness people are right,” Baumeister says. “Keep your attention focused on the here and now.” Catch yourself regretting the past? Bring yourself back to now. Worrying about tomorrow/next month/dinner tonight? Bring yourself back to now. If that’s too hard, just write down one thing you’re grateful for every day. That pushes away the negative and lets the positive flow in.

It’s a BILLION DOLLAR pursuit:
H A P P I N E S S
and the sad truth
is that it really doesn’t cost a cent. . .

BET THIS:

Your HAPPINESS Thermometer

July 17, 2019 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

HOW’S YOUR HAPPINESS THERMOMETER. . .

Is it R I S I N G

Is it F A L L I N G

Is it

S T U C K

By many accounts, Americans are living in contentious times. Yet they report being happier in 2017 than they were in 2016, according the 2017 Harris Poll Survey of American Happiness, shared exclusively with TIME MAGAZINE

That’s not to say that Americans are especially happy overall; only 33% of Americans surveyed said they were happy. In 2016, just 31% of Americans reported the same.

The Harris Poll, which has been conducting a happiness survey for the last nine years, surveyed 2,202 Americans ages 18 and older in May 2017. The survey was not designed to measure why Americans are or are not happy, but John Gerzema, CEO of the Harris Poll, has some ideas.

“It’s really interesting that Americans’ overall happiness went up from last year—a year of alt-facts, mean tweets and robots coming for our jobs,” Gerzema says. “Either people are becoming immune to the news, or there’s a promise of change for so many Americans that felt alienated.”

The people who reported being the happiest were men and women in high-income households and those with a high school diploma or less. Republicans and Democrats experienced similar increases in happiness levels (but Republicans tend to report higher happiness levels overall, Gerzema says).

Overall, men reported a greater increase in happiness levels compared to women, though they were more likely to say they were frustrated at work. Millennials were the most likely to say they were optimistic about their future: 79% said they were. However, 77% said they worried about finances, and slightly more than half said they were frustrated with their career. Despite the back and forth over health care changes, 53% of Americans surveyed said they rarely worry about their health, up from 48% in 2016.

Some of the biggest changes were in how people felt about their spiritual lives. In the survey, 71% of Americans said their spiritual beliefs were a positive guiding force to them, compared to 66% in 2016. Americans also say they feel close to their relatives; 86% said they have positive relationships with their family members. “One hypothesis is that we are trying to control what we can,” says Gerzema. “Maybe we are turning off cable news and turning back into our families and communities and faith.”

Americans have never been the happiest bunch, Gerzema says. In the nine-year history of the happiness poll, the highest happiness index was 35% in 2008 and 2009.

Distraction and a lack of control may be part of the reason why only about a third of Americans say they are happy, Gerzema says. Close to 40% of Americans said in 2017 that they rarely engage in hobbies and pastimes they enjoy, and 75% said that “my voice is not heard in national decisions that affect me.”

“To me, it feels like a cultural lack of presence,” says Gerzema. “We are so caught up in our texting, multitasking, jobs and commutes that we seem to have less and less free time. Older people age 65+ are the happiest.”

Despite the happiness gap, the majority of Americans remain hopeful, and 72% say they feel optimistic about the future. “We are not that happy, but perhaps that’s ok,” says Gerzema. “Optimism, but not necessarily happiness, seems to be part of the American psyche. Perhaps we wear it like a coat of arms.”

S O. . .

ARE YOU H A P P Y

Are you happy?

If you were to fit into a survey right now

would you be on the upside of being happy

or on the low side of being happy?

What’s

YOUR HAPPINESS THERMOMETER READING

Are you happy with your life

Are you happy with your job

Are you happy with your family

Are you happy with your self

There will always be questions when we talk about happiness

because by the way that the world takes look at us we’re not all that happy

or does the world actually have it wrong. . .

Right now

at this very moment what makes you the happiest in your life. . .

not what do you dream of that would make you happy

W H A T

ARE YOU

Happiest with right now in your life. . .

Could that get better

Could that get worse

Could that actually be shared. . .

Are you responsible just for your own happiness

Of the happiness of others

ARE YOU RIGHT NOW

H A P P Y

with this machine gun kind of questioning. . .

Well something tells me

it won’t be a pill

intervention

therapy

voodoo

or a particular kind of psychic surgery. . .

It certainly won’t be prime time days

it’ll be something in yourself

from yourself

maybe a recognition

maybe a throwing away

of all that could lead to your happiness

and ultimately

the happiness of those around you. . .

O R N O T. . .

YOU TELL ME!

A LAUGHING MATTER

April 10, 2019 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

Time Magazine’s Markham Heid recently came out with a great article that’s been written in more ways than one in recent years. It’s not just simply about the benefits of a couple of “ho-ho-ho’s” or even some well placed, “Ha-ha-ha’s” But it’s a great affirmation of what you knew, knew that you knew and probably would bet your lift that you knew, but for the life of you didn’t always act like you knew. . .

L A U G H T E R

It may not be the best medicine. But laughter’s great for you, and it may even compare to a proper diet and exercise when it comes to keeping you healthy and disease free.

That’s according to Dr. Lee Berk, an associate professor at Loma Linda University in California who has spent nearly three decades studying the ways the aftershocks of a good laugh ripple through your brain and body.

Berk says your mind, hormone system and immune system are constantly communicating with one another in ways that impact everything from your mood to your ability to fend off sickness and disease. Take grief: “Grief induces stress hormones, which suppress your immune function, which can lead to sickness,” he says. Hardly a week goes by without new research tying stress to another major ailment.

Why mention stress? “Because laughter appears to cause all the reciprocal, or opposite, effects of stress,” Berk explains. He says laughter shuts down the release of stress hormones like cortisol. It also triggers the production of feel-good neurochemicals like dopamine, which have all kinds of calming, anti-anxiety benefits. Think of laughter as the yin to stress’s yang.

Thanks largely to these stress-squashing powers, laughter has been linked to health benefits ranging from lower levels of inflammation to improved blood flow, Berk says. Some research from Western Kentucky University has also tied good chuckle to greater numbers and activity of ‘killer cells,’ which your immune system deploys to attack disease. “Many of these same things also happen when you sleep right, eat right, and exercise,” Berk says, which is why he lumps laughter in with more traditional healthy lifestyle activities.

Berk has even shown that laughter causes a change in the way your brain’s many neurons communicate with one another. Specifically, laughter seems to induce, “gamma” frequencies–the type of brain waves observed among experienced mediators. These gamma waves improve the “synchronization” of your neuronal activity, which bolsters recall and memory, Berk says.

How does laughter accomplish all this? That’s where things get murky, says Dr Robert Provine, a neuroscientist at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County and author of Curious Behavior: Yawning, Laughing, Hiccuping, and Beyond

Provide calls himself a “reserved optimist” when it comes to laughter’s health-bolstering properties. “One of the challenges of studying laughter is that there are so many things that trigger it,” Provine explains. For example, you’re 30 times more likely to laugh around other people than when you are by yourself, he says. Social relationships and companionship have been tied to numerous health benefits. And so the social component of laughter may play a big part in its healthful attributes, Provine adds.

Here’s why that matters: If you’re going to tell people they should laugh to improve their health, there may be a big difference between guffawing on your own without provocation, watching a funny YouTube clip or meeting up with friends who make you laugh, Provine says.

“That doesn’t mean the benefits weren’t real,” he adds. “But it may not be accurate to credit laughter alone with all of these superpowers.”he says.

But even for the researchers like Provine who aren’t ready–at least not yet–to coronate laughter as a panacea, he doesn’t dispute the benefits associated with hearty har har. He only questions science’s current understanding of the underlying mechanisms.

“When we laugh, we’re in a happy place,” he says. “That’s always a good thing.”

A couple of years ago I attended The Worldwide Laughter Tour workshop and actually became a Certified Laugh Leader under the direction of Dr. Steve Wilson, a true JOYOLOGIST. I think that was one single event that SHOWED me the great benefits of Laughter
EVEN WHEN IT’S FAKE

Because what I find humorous or absolutely funny
YOU MIGHT NOT
but you still get the benefits when you
FAKE LAUGH
for even up to 60-95 seconds
which is why we learned and taught
LAUGH EXERCISES

Since that time
I’ve taught and led several
LAUGH SESSIONS. . .

WHO KNEW. . .

The World can change
ONE LAUGH
ONE GIGGLE
ONE HAAAAAA
ONE SMILE
at at time. . .

and it can begin
n o w
with you

A great Caring Catalyst
is a
LAUGHING
HAPPY
Caring Catalyst

<strong><a href="http://time.com/3556608/healthy-desserts/" target="_blank" rel=

<strong><a href="http://time.com/3656242/cleanses-healthy/" target="_blank" rel=

<strong><a href="http://time.com/3636232/teeth-whitening/" target="_blank" rel=

<strong><a href="http://time.com/3479384/meditation-benefits/" target="_blank" rel=

<strong><a href="http://time.com/3644573/sugar-alternatives-sweeteners/" target="_blank" rel=

Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIMEBY MARKHAM HEID NOVEMBER 19, 2014

next1 of 10

You Asked: Are Cleanses Healthy? Potions that claim to clear your body of toxins might sound alluring, but do they deliver? Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

Thanks largely to these stress-quashing powers, laughter has been linked to health benefits ranging from lower levels of inflammation to improved blood flow, Berk says. Some research from Western Kentucky University has also tied a good chuckle to greater numbers and activity of “killer cells,” which your immune system deploys to attack disease. “Many of these same things also happen when you sleep right, eat right, and exercise,” Berk says, which is why he lumps laughter in with more traditional healthy lifestyle activities.

Berk has even shown that laughter causes a change in the way your brain’s many neurons communicate with one another. Specifically, laughter seems to induce “gamma” frequencies—the type of brain waves observed among experienced meditators. These gamma waves improve the “synchronization” of your neuronal activity, which bolsters recall and memory, Berk says.

How does laughter accomplish all this? That’s where things get murky, says Dr. Robert Provine, a neuroscientist at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County and author of Curious Behavior: Yawning, Laughing, Hiccupping, and Beyond.

Provine calls himself a “reserved optimist” when it comes to laughter’s health-bolstering properties. “One of the challenges of studying laughter is that there are so many things that trigger it,” Provine explains. For example, you’re 30 times more likely to laugh around other people than when you are by yourself, he says. Social relationships and companionship have been tied to numerous health benefits. And so the social component of laughter may play a big part in its healthful attributes, Provine adds.

“That doesn’t mean the benefits aren’t real,” he adds. “But it may not be accurate to credit laughter alone with all these superpowers.”

But even for researchers like Provine who aren’t ready—at least not yet—to coronate laughter as a panacea, he doesn’t dispute the benefits associated with a hearty har har. He only questions science’s current understanding of the underlying mechanisms.

“When we laugh, we’re in a happy place,” he says. “That’s always a good thing.”

THE UNHAPPY CLOWN

August 22, 2018 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

9 Things Therapists Do When They

Want To Feel Happier

Steal these tips from the pros.

Dominique Astorino On Assignment For HuffPost

You can be an absolute expert within the field of finding happiness and still need a little help yourself.

“We have the same problems as our patients,” said David D. Burns, a clinical psychiatrist and author of bestselling psychology book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. And sometimes that means dealing with negative thoughts, anxiety and bad moods.

So what does a therapist — usually the advice-giver when it comes to these types of problems — do when they’re in a funk? I loved falling across this HuffPost article who chatted with Burns and a few other experts to get their tips. Here are some of their go-to moves when they need to feel happy ASAP, as well as their advice on how you can steal them for yourself:

Use the “30-second rule”

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a task, chore, conflict, to-do list ― and it’s totally sabotaging your mood ― try tackling just a small piece of it, Burns said. “The thing I choose to do has to be something I can complete in about 30 seconds, that way I can’t give myself any excuses to procrastinate,” he explained.

For example, Burns said that day he was feeling particularly overwhelmed by piles of paperwork on his desk, so he put his method into practice immediately. He took 30 seconds — all while on a call — to put a few pieces of paper together, staple them and file those papers properly in his file cabinet.

It’s ridiculously simple, but Burns said he felt a marked improvement in his mood immediately. “You feel a little bit of a boost every time you do this,” he said.

(I AM THE MOST UN-ORGANIZED ORGANIZED GUY I KNOW; I AM POWERFULLY PRODUCTIVE UNDER THE GUN AND AM IN CONSTANT COMPETITION WITH MYSELF; SO I PLAY THE GAME OF DOING JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE A LITTLE BIT LONGER AND A LITTLE BIT BETTER: WIN!)

Do some deep breathing

This tip is the oldest trick in the book for a reason. According to Habib Sadeghi, a holistic health expert and author of The Clarity Cleanse, taking a few large breaths can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, a part of your overall nervous system that’s responsible for lowering your heart rate and blood pressure. Taking a few deep breaths is also “a way to get out of the head and into the body,” Sadeghi said.

Sadeghi added that a deep-breathing exercise can be a small, easy way to slow down and change “how we think and feel.”

To try it yourself, start with a forceful exhale to clear some of the air from your lungs. Hold this for a second or two, then inhale deeply, allowing your abdomen to expand. Count to seven as you inhale, then hold your breath for about the same amount of time. Then exhale slowly for about 14 seconds or so. Repeat this for about 10 cycles, preferably on the edge of a chair with your eyes closed.

(WE NEVER THINK ABOUT BREATHING; SO THINK ABOUT IT. THE AVERAGE PERSON TAKES ANYWHERE FROM 17,280 TO 23,040 BREATHS A DAY. JUST THINK ABOUT 40 OF THEM ON PURPOSE)

LET YOURSELF FEEL BAD

It might be tempting to squash your terrible mood by suppressing that negativity, but you’re actually not doing yourself any favors. Instead, experts tell their patients ― and themselves ― to let themselves feel whatever emotions that pop up.

“Don’t tell your feelings to shut up. Instead, ask ‘what’s up?’” said Heidi Ligouri, a licensed counselor and motivational speaker. She added that ignoring a feeling can often make a situation worse.

Taking the time to process feelings can also help you get into a happier mindset more easily. There’s no reason to feel bad about feeling bad, said Kathleen Dahlen deVos, a psychotherapist based in San Francisco. She calls accepting negative feelings “emotional fluency,” which means experiencing your emotions “without judgment or attachment.” This allows you to learn from them, use them or move on from them more easily, Dahlen deVos said.

(SOMETIMES MONDAY FEELS LIKE A MONDAY; HUG THAT PORCUPINE AND REMIND YOURSELF THAT MONDAY IS ‘J U S T’ A DAY NOT ALL SEVEN; TUESDAY IS COMING AND SO IS THE WEEKEND!)

Stop and say one nice thing about yourself

Self-criticism comes easily for most people, especially when they’re in a terrible mood. So, once you’ve acknowledged you’re feeling crummy, counter that with a little emotional TLC.

“We tend to be so brutal on ourselves. Not only are we telling ourselves not to feel, but when we see a feeling we judge ourselves,” for having it, said Ligouri. “Once you see the [negative] feeling … practice self-compassion.”

If your bad mood is caused by a mistake, or if you’re thinking negatively about yourself, interrupt that stream of consciousness by picking out one thing you like about yourself. For example, maybe you prioritize hanging out with your sister, or you’re a team player at work, or you volunteer every month. Just something that gives yourself credit for your attributes. It sounds like a corny exercise, but it might just work.

“Developing a practice of mindful self-compassion has been hugely supportive in helping me to live a happier, healthier, and more joyful life,” Dahlen deVos said. “Self-compassion, in essence, is the recognition that no matter what is happening in our lives, we are innately worthy, lovable and connected to all of humanity.”

Still need some convincing that this technique isn’t bogus? Research shows that this practice also can help protect you from anxiety depression.

(MY GREATEST SELF TALK GO TO: I BELIEVE I AM THE BEST THERE IS; I BELIEVE IT WITH ALL OF MY HEART; B U T I ‘ K N O W’ IT’S NOT TRUE WHICH IS WHY EVERY DAY I JUST DON’T SEE MY FLAWS, I AM SEVERELY MOTIVATED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT)

Ask yourself what you should do next ― then do it

Let’s say you showed up 20 minutes late to a meeting and halfway through your important presentation, you noticed you had a massive coffee stain on your shirt. You get through the meeting, but you’re angry about the circumstances afterward. In this situation, Ligouri said she figures out her next step by asking herself what she needed.

“Ask yourself: Do I want to keep rolling around in upset? Do I want to create or recreate a commitment to living a happy healthy life? Do I just need a nap? Do I want to reach out to a friend?” Ligouri said. In other words, figure out what to do next ― even if it’s just a simple task ― and then commit to doing it.

(SECRET WEAPON: M O T I O N–VERB IT UP! IT’S ALL ABOUT BEING IN MOTION/ACTING/DOING– EVEN IF IT’S IN YOUR HEAD)

Take a hike

Maybe not literally, but at the very least get outdoors. Each expert said they rely heavily on this activity as a way to improve mood.

“I make it a point to get fresh air and incorporate movement into every day,” Dahlen deVos said. “Sometimes this means a yoga or fitness class, but often it’s just a morning hike with my pup or an afternoon walk around the neighborhood during a free hour.” Her secret weapon? Doing this phone-free.

Aman also said long walks, in particular, are her go-to move when it comes to increasing her happiness. “I take a long walk in the woods,” she said. “The research on this is unmistakable. It’s good for the mind, body, and soul.”

You also get the added benefit of exercise, which is its own mood booster, Sadeghi said.

“Exercise is really one of the best ways to blow off stress and sadness,” he explained. “Even resistance training, or a rough round of racquetball or tennis — something that requires you to focus intensely on your body, its movements and sensations.”

(I WAS DEVASTATED TO EXPERIENCE THAT I COULD NO LONGER RUN MARATHONS OR EVEN SHORT DISTANCES BUT I CAN SWIM-RUN IN THE POOL AND STILL WALK–THE BEACH–ANY BEACH IS THE BEST; IT HAS IT’S HEALTH BENEFITS BUT I DO IT FOR MY HEAD NOT SO MUCH MY HEART)

Find a mantra that works when you’re in a bad mood

Dahlen deVos said she keeps a set of mantras in her back pocket, and recommends the same for her clients. “Develop a self-compassion mantra: an easy-to-memorize set of phrases to repeat when we need a compassion boost, or to create mindfulness of a situation,” she said.

She recommended trying something like this the next time you’re feeling down and out: “I’m having a hard time, but everyone feels this way sometimes. May I be gentle with myself and remember that I’m safe and okay.”
(MY GO TO : “I GOT THIS, BRING IT!”)

Dance it out

Sadeghi said he personally turns to dance as “a great way to expel a lot of pent-up anxiety or depressive energy.”

Using a mix of “upbeat songs that you really love,” give yourself room to literally dance like no one’s watching. “Make your movements random, but deliberate and strong; get your whole body into it,” he said. “Imagine the negative energy flying out of your body through your fingertips as you move around.”

(ok in my case: SING IT OUT, LOUD AND ANIMATED. MY FAVORITE PLAYLIST IS ONE I’VE CREATED CALLED: RUNNING; IT’S THE BEST WORKOUT I’VE HAD WITHOUT RUNNING SHOES)

Play with a pup (or another furry friend)

There’s a reason pet owners tend to live longer. Spending time with a dog, cat, or another animal can be profoundly calming and uplifting.

Burns cited time with his sweet rescue kitten Misty as one of his all-time favorite mood-boosters.

“It really teaches me something at a deep level,” he said. “She’s not special, she’s just an abandoned cat. I am not special either! But when we’re together, life becomes special.”

(I’VE TOLD MY DOG AND CATS THINGS I’VE NEVER TOLD ANOTHER LIVING BEING AND THEY’VE NEVER DISAPPOINTED OR NOT LISTENED OR NOT BEEN GLAD TO SEE ME–B A M!)

Psssssssssssssssssst:

Sometime this Clown doesn’t much like Clowning. . .

It, thankfully, never lasts long because of the ultimate secret weapon:

r e l a t i o n s h i p s

w h a t ‘ s y o u r ‘ s ?

BIRTHDAY’D

August 10, 2018 By ChuckBehrens 2 Comments

A N O T H E R B I R T H D A Y. . .
s u r v i v e d

I almost always get a standing ovation during one of my presentations when I let the audience know:

“IF I WERE YOUR CEO, I WOULD MAKE IT MANDATORY, NON-NEGOTIABLE FOR EVERY EMPLOYEE TO NOT ONLY HAVE THEIR BIRTHDAY OFF, BUT THE DAY BEFORE AND AFTER; IN FACT, IF YOU WERE CAUGHT WORKING ON YOUR BIRTHDAY OR THE DAY’S BEFORE AND FOLLOWING, YOU WOULD BE FIRED ON THE SPOT; AND BEFORE YOU EVER BECAME AN EMPLOYEE OF MINE, YOU HAVE TO SIGN A DOCUMENT STATING YOU UNDERSTOOD THESE TERMS AND WOULD BE TERMINATED FOR VIOLATING THEM!”

W H Y ?

Because it’s more than a billion dollar loss each year that unscheduled PTO days are costing companies, agencies, and employers. What a better way to compensate each employee, NOT WITH A RAISE, BONUS, or even additional sick or additional time off, but by actually SHOWING THEM just how important you are to their respective organizations/agencies and to management in particular. What a lightning strike of PROACTIVITY in sensing, understanding and ACTING on how everyone should celebrate THEMSELVES. . .

A HAPPY, A VALIDATED, A AFFIMRED EMPLOYEE is a productive employee, right?

Well, it gets raved reviews and loud cheers and even a few job offers for me to become, at least, an interim CEO. . .

In that vein,
I did exactly that this past week as I celebrated
M E

I took a vacation from myself and
visited myself on in one fell swoop;

and it’s been great;

not only do I even more highly recommend it,
there’ll never be another time that I won’t REPEAT IT. . .

And. . .
What a FANTASTICAL DAY. Thanks for all of the warm Birthday wishes, thoughts and expressions. I am severely humbled and severely gratified by this magically enchanted life I live because of all of the wonderful people who surround me. Each and everyone of you prove unequivocally how greatly healed I am by RELATIONSHIPS and CONNECTION; these are most powerful mediums and medicines in their own rights. You inspire me to want to be better and to help me spend my days helping serve others, SERVE OTHERS. . .

You see, this makes it all

not just another BIRTHDAY. . .

everything we do

especially special days

are always more than j u s t

ANOTHER’S. . .

H o w. . .

How can we assure that anything goes beyond

J U S T A N O T H E R :

By intentionally making I T so;

As I travel towards 64 years on this little blue ball

each day I’ll attempt to be a

P E R S O N O F N O A G E

to protect myself from

JUST ANOTHER

I’ll notice what I recognize:
(and now invite you to do the same)

TEN THOUSAND FLOWERS IN SPRING, THE MOON IN THE AUTUMN,
A COOL BREEZE IN SUMMER, SNOW IN WINTER,
IF YOUR MIND ISN’T CLOUDED BY UNNECESSARY THINGS,
THIS IS BEST SEASON OF YOUR LIFE
By Wu Men (Hui-k’ai)
Kind of makes wearing the Birthday Sombrero Hat

s p e c i a l

5 Ways to Lead a Happier Life, According to One of the World’s Most Famous Social Psychologists

1. Unleash the Power of the Rule of Four

2. Remember the Honeymoon

3. Play the (Glad) Game

4. Check Yourself

5. Focus on the Present

Use the “30-second rule”

Do some deep breathing

Stop and say one nice thing about yourself

Ask yourself what you should do next ― then do it

Take a hike

Find a mantra that works when you’re in a bad mood

Dance it out

(ok in my case: SING IT OUT, LOUD AND ANIMATED. MY FAVORITE PLAYLIST IS ONE I’VE CREATED CALLED: RUNNING; IT’S THE BEST WORKOUT I’VE HAD WITHOUT RUNNING SHOES)

Play with a pup (or another furry friend)

r e l a t i o n s h i p s

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