When the rain falls
it gathers in the potholes
the dipped
not so evenly carved out
valleys
deep earth scars
that hold it
more tenderly
than Angel hugs
until unnoticed
drop by drop
they evaporate in a
Sun’s Shine
that can never be imagined
only experienced
so that it wishes
for yet another time
when the rain falls
THE POWER OF ONE
Paul Farmer, a physician, anthropologist and humanitarian who gained global acclaim for his work delivering high-quality health care to some of the world’s poorest people, died on Monday on the grounds of a hospital and university he had helped establish in Butaro, Rwanda. He was 62.
The cause was an “acute cardiac event,” according to a statementby Partners in Health, the global public health organization that Dr. Farmer helped found.
Dr. Farmer attracted public renown with “Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, a Man Who Would Cure the World,” a 2003 book by Tracy Kidder that described the extraordinary efforts he would make to care for patients, sometimes walking hours to their homes to ensure they were taking their medication.
He was a practitioner of “social medicine,” arguing there was no point in treating patients for diseases only to send them back into the desperate circumstances that contributed to them in the first place. Illness, he said, has social roots and must be addressed through social structures.
Though he worked in the world of development, he often took a critical view of international aid, preferring to work with local providers and leaders. And he often lived among the people he was treating, moving his family to Rwanda and Haiti for extended periods.
News of Dr. Farmer’s death rippled through the worlds of medicine and public health on Monday.
“There are so many people that are alive because of that man,” Dr. Rochelle P. Walensky, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said in a brief interview, adding that she wanted to compose herself before speaking further.
Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, President Biden’s top medical adviser, broke down in tears during an interview, in which he said he and Dr. Farmer had been like “soul brothers.”
Remembering Paul Farmer (1959-2022)
The pioneer of global heath died on Feb. 21, 2022. He was 62.
- Obituary: Dr. Farmer, a physician and anthropologist, sought to bring high-quality health care to some of the world’s poorest people.
- ‘Mountains Beyond Mountains’: The 2003 book by Tracy Kidder told Dr. Farmer’s life story. Read the first chapter here.
- His Writing: In “Fevers, Feuds and Diamonds,” Dr. Farmer examined the inequalities that worsened Ebola’s spread in West Africa in 2014.
In the latter part of his career, Dr. Farmer became a public health luminary; the subject of a 2017 documentary, “Bending the Arc”; and the author of 12 books.
In 2020, when he was awarded the $1 million Berggruen Prize, given annually to an influential thought leader, the chairman of the prize committee said Dr. Farmer had “reshaped our understanding” of “what it means to treat health as a human right and the ethical and political obligations that follow.”
Dr. Farmer, who never settled into the easy life of an elder statesman, was vigorously involved in the response to the Covid-19 pandemic, prodding the Biden administration to drop intellectual property barriers that prevented pharmaceutical companies from sharing their technology.
“It’s not just about health security, in the senses of defending yourself,” he said. “It’s not just about charity, although that’s not so bad. It’s also about pragmatic solidarity with those in need of assistance.”
“When you settle on a problem, devote the resources to it and have at least some ability to incorporate new information, every time, it gets better,” he says. “I don’t have any experience, anywhere, where you just apply yourself, along with others, and then do not see progress. My optimism has pretty honest roots. “Although,” Farmer adds after a brief pause, “I would probably be an optimist even if not.” “I’m going to sound very touchy-feely-ish, but it’s [about] compassion and empathy and fellow feeling,” Farmer says. “You can’t do anything in public health without fellow feeling.”
Paul Edward Farmer Jr. was born on Oct. 26, 1959, in North Adams, Mass. Paul’s mother, Ginny (Rice) Farmer, worked as a supermarket cashier, and his father, Paul Sr., was a salesman and high school math teacher.
When Paul was around 12, his father bought an old bus and fitted it with bunks, converting it into a mobile home. Paul, his parents and his five siblings spent the next few years traveling, mostly in Florida, living for a time on a boat moored on a bayou. He credited this period with giving him “a very compliant GI system,” a knack for sleeping anywhere and an inability to be shy or embarrassed.
After graduating from Duke University, he moved to Haiti, volunteering in Cange, a settlement in the central Artibonite plateau of the country. He arrived toward the end of the dictatorship of Jean-Claude Duvalier, when Haiti’s hospital system was so threadbare that patients had to pay for basic supplies, like medical gloves or a blood transfusion, if they wanted treatment.
In a letter to a friend, he wrote that his stint at the hospital wasn’t turning out as he had expected. “It’s not that I’m unhappy working here,” said the letter, excerpted in Mr. Kidder’s book. “The biggest problem is that the hospital is not for the poor. I’m taken aback. I really am. Everything has to be paid for in advance.”
Dr. Farmer decided to open a different kind of clinic. He returned to the United States to attend Harvard Medical School and earn a degree in anthropology, but he continued to spend much of his time in Cange, returning to Harvard for exams and laboratory work.
Over the years, Dr. Farmer raised millions of dollars for an ever-expanding network of community health facilities. He had a contagious enthusiasm and considerable nerve. When Thomas J. White, who owned a large construction company in Boston, asked to meet him, he insisted that the meeting take place in Haiti.
Mr. White eventually contributed $1 million in seed money to Partners in Health, which Dr. Farmer founded in 1987 along with Ophelia Dahl, whom he had met volunteering in Haiti; a Duke classmate, Todd McCormack; and a Harvard classmate, Dr. Jim Yong Kim.
The clinic in Haiti, at first a single room, grew over the years to a network of 16 medical centers in the country, with a local staff of almost 7,000.
Among them was a teaching hospital in Mirebalais, about 40 miles north of Port-au-Prince, that opened in 2013 and offered chemotherapy drugs, a gleaming new $700,000 CT scanner and three operating rooms with full-time trauma surgeons. There, poor patients with difficult diseases paid a basic fee of around $1.50 a day for treatment, including medication.
Partners in Health also expanded into Rwanda, where Dr. Farmer helped the government restructure the country’s health system, improving health outcomes in areas like infant mortality and the H.I.V. infection rate.
Dr. Farmer died in Butaro, a mountain town on the border of Uganda where he and Partners in Health collaborated with the Rwandan government to build a complex devoted to health and health education. Dr. Farmer had homes in Rwinkwavu, Rwanda; Cange, Haiti; and Miami.
Dr. Farmer also helped develop new public health approaches in Peru, Russia and Lesotho, among other places.
He was particularly proud of the fact that the clinics he helped build were staffed by local doctors and nurses whom he had trained.
Over the years, he kept in touch with many of his patients, as well as their children and grandchildren. He was godfather to more than 100 children, most of them in Haiti, said Laurie Nuell, a close friend and board director at Partners in Health.
Over the weekend, Dr. Farmer sent her a photo of a colorful bouquet of flowers he had put together for one of his terminally ill patients in Rwanda. “Not my best work,” the accompanying text said.
“He had a very tender heart,” she said. “Seeing pain and suffering was very hard for him. It just hurt him. I’m a social worker by training. One thing I learned is about detachment. He wasn’t detached from anyone. That’s the beauty of it.”
As long as poverty and inequality persist, as long as people are wounded and imprisoned and despised, we humans will need accompaniment–practical, spiritual, intellectual.
– Paul Farmer –
CAN ONE PERSON MAKE A DIFFERENCE
CAN ONE PERSON
ACTUALLY BE
A CONTAGIOUS CARING CATALYST. . .
CAN YOU BE
THE CASE IN POINT
OF PROVING IT
(or not)
SOME WORDS NOT OUR OWN
THERE ARE SOME WORDS
NOT MY OWN
THAT SAY SO MUCH MORE
THAN I COULD EVER WRITE
OR SAY
B U T
need to read or hear
than any that could bounce around in my head
or spill out of my pen
L I K E:
my brain and
heart divorceda decade agoover who was
to blame about
how big of a mess
I have becomeeventually,
they couldn’t be
in the same room
with each othernow my head and heart
share custody of meI stay with my brain
during the weekand my heart
gets me on weekendsthey never speak to one another
– instead, they give me
– the same note to pass
– to each other every week
and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:“This is all your fault”
on Sundays
my heart complains
about how my
head has let me down
in the pastand on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the futurethey blame each
other for the
state of my lifethere’s been a lot
of yelling – and cryingso,
lately, I’ve been
spending a lot of
time with my gut
who serves as my
unofficial therapistmost nights, I sneak out of the
window in my ribcageand slide down my spine
and collapse on my
gut’s plush leather chair
that’s always open for me~ and I just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes uplast evening,
my gut asked me
if I was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my headI nodded
I said I didn’t know
if I could live with
either of them anymore“my heart is always sad about
something that happened yesterday
while my head is always worried
about something that may happen tomorrow,”
I lamentedmy gut squeezed my hand
“I just can’t live with
my mistakes of the past
or my anxiety about the future,”
I sighedmy gut smiled and said:
“in that case,
you should
go stay with your
lungs for a while,”I was confused
– the look on my face gave it away
“if you are exhausted about
your heart’s obsession with
the fixed past and your mind’s focus
on the uncertain futureyour lungs are the perfect place for you
there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there eitherthere is only now
there is only inhale
there is only exhale
there is only this momentthere is only breath
and in that breath
you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out.”this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leavesand while my
heart was staring
at old photographsI packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungsbefore I could even knock
she opened the door
with a smile and as
a gust of air embraced me
she said“what took you so long?”
~ John Roedel (johnroedel.com)
were spoken first by
Someone Else
and echoing intimately within us
For An Ever. . .
ALL DAY SUCKERS
that deliver more flavor
that can be promised
. . .only enjoyed
Monster Chasers
I cry
. . .A lot
Movies
Well written passages
Music
Always music
And this time certainly was no exception
It’s more than a cleansing
It’s a renewing
It’s a bare vulnerability
That’s never made me feel more
Naked
And warmly clothed
At the same time.
It makes my heart beat
So much differently
And so much better
It makes me care deeper
Love without limits or any hints
Of conditions
It makes me purely
A Caring Catalyst
And I’m tempted
Always
To ruin
THAT MOMENT
knowing that it can’t last
But here’s the best news:
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO
It’s what makes the moment
THE MOMENT
AND YES,
A Lifetime can be lived in a moment
And ohhhhhhhhh
look at the time
THAT MOMENT
THAT LIFETIME
can can
BE
right now. . .
Especially if I’m about chasing away
A loved one’s monsters
The only thing better than the title of
MONSTER CHASER
is actually
BEING ONE
Join me
You lifetime-in-a-moment-Liver
BEYOND A SEASON
CHRISTMAS IS BARELY 48 HOURS PAST US
AS IT STRUGGLES ALWAYS
TO NEVER LEAVE US
or worse:
BE LEFT BY US. . .
Just what is it
that makes any Season
A Lifestyle. . .
BECOME THAT!
W A T C H:
LOVE IS A GIFT THAT GOES BEYOND A SEASON
BE THE CURE FOR SOMEONE’S LONELINESS
THE SYMPHONY IN YOU IS ONLY AS MAGNIFICENT AS YOU ALLOW IT TO BE HEARD AND EXPERIENCED
THAT FACE
which hides a Christmas Wish
beyond a wrapped present
BE MORE OF AN OPEN HEART AND LESS OF AN OPENED PRESENT. . .
SEE
BE
FREE
That Difference
to/for Others
FOR THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT CARING FOR THOSE THEY CARE FOR
WHEN AN EACH IS TREATED LIKE NO OTHER
MAYBE THE GREATEST WAY TO CELEBRATE BEING IN A SNOW GLOBE WORLD IS NOT BREAKING IT BUT GIVING IT
THE SOUND OF A RING
Put this under the
TOO FREAKING PRESH
File:
The other day as I was leaving a patient’s house
the husband was walking me out the front door
and he showed me his wedding ring.
“We’ve taken our wedding rings off 639 times…The first of every month celebrating our anniversary. And then we put each others on and say, ‘with this ring I thee wed.’
They’ve been married 53 yrs and 3 months.
DID YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF THE RING
It’s the sound that could never be replicated from
a phone
a bell
a song
a computer generated video. . .
A RING
way too distinct for any of those other
RINGS
but once seen
e x p e r i e n c e d
YOU NEVER FORGET THE SOUND
The tears in his eyes
ran down my cheeks
as I drove away. . .
The Lesson:
HIS LOVE HAS LIFE!
And now. . .
so does mine!
(o u r s)
REMINISCENCE
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR
brings it out in all of us
THE ONCE UPON A TIME’S
THE REMEMBER WHEN’S
the essence of
r e m i n i s e n c e. . .
And it is
awesomely good
and can actually get better:
Five Ways Nostalgia Can Improve Your Well-Being
Some recent studies suggest that experiencing nostalgia about our past can make us happier and more resilient during times of stress. . .
We often find ourselves nostalgic for days gone by—especially my young adulthood. Thinking about days of once upon a time’s and remember when’s we always still want to be apart and never far apart from.that gives us a bittersweet feeling—a mixture of joy, sadness, and longing.
While we find nostalgia pleasant overall and even inspiring, doctors and psychologists did not always consider it a good thing. Staying “stuck in the past” was often associated with being unable to adjust to new realities, like when soldiers were nostalgic for their faraway homes and experienced loneliness and dread. Not that long ago, some considered nostalgia to be a mental illness, akin to melancholy, which could lead to anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders.
But more recent findings on nostalgia suggest it can be good for us, increasing our well-being, making us feel connected to other people, and giving us a sense of continuity in our lives. And it seems to come on naturally when we need to weather life’s difficulties. Rather than being a problem, nostalgia can help bring happiness and meaning to our lives.
Here are some of the ways nostalgia can benefit us, according to science.
Nostalgia makes us feel socially connected
Nostalgia about our past often includes recalling important people in our lives—people who cared about us and made us feel like we belonged. Certainly, our own nostalgic musings are centered around times when we were with the people and places we love. So, it’s not too surprising that recalling these special times would make us feel more connected to others, in general.
In one study, researchers found that people who were asked to write about an event from their past that made them feel “sentimental longing for the past” felt loved and supported, and this, in turn, helped buffer them against loneliness. Another study found that when people felt nostalgic about times in their lives when they interacted with members of an “out-group”—for example, teenagers recalling fun times with older adults—they felt less prejudice toward that group.
Nostalgia also seems to help us maintain our relationships. For example, one study found that inducing nostalgia helped people feel more optimistic about relationships in general and more willing to connect with friends. Another study found that when induced to feel nostalgia, people (especially those who find connecting with others easier) felt more able to offer emotional support to the people in their lives.
Nostalgia helps us find meaning in life
A sense of meaning in life involves knowing that your existence matters and that your life has coherence or purpose. It’s something we all strive for in one way or another.
Fortunately, research suggests nostalgia can be an important resource for increasing meaning, by highlighting central moments in our lives and giving us a sense of continuity.
In one study, researchers compared nostalgia to two seemingly related forms of thinking about one’s life: recalling a positive past event or imagining a desired future. Focusing on an event that made them nostalgic led people to feel their lives had more meaning compared to imagining a desirable future. And, compared to both other reflections, feeling nostalgic reduced people’s need to search for meaning in their lives—they already felt life had meaning.
In another study, people either listened to music that brought them back to a particular time or read lyrics to old songs. These nostalgic activities not only made them feel loved and socially connected but also increased their sense of meaning in life. And, when people read an essay that encouraged them to think that life had no meaning—which said, “There are approximately 7 billion people living on this planet. So take a moment to ponder the following question: In the grand scheme of things, how significant are you?”—they naturally turned to feelings of nostalgia for relief from that sense of meaninglessness.
These findings and others suggest that nostalgia not only heightens your sense of meaning in life, but can act as a buffer when you experience a loss of meaning. And it may help you move forward in life, too. As one study found, nostalgia can increase your motivation to pursue important life goals, because it increases meaning—not just because it puts you in a better mood.
Nostalgia can make us happier
Though it does seem to do just that—to boost our mood. Even though nostalgia is by definition a blend of positive and negative emotion, the positive tends to outweigh the negative, meaning we feel happier overall.
In one very recent study, 176 university students were randomly assigned to a six-week nostalgia program where they were asked weekly to write about a past event that brought on “a sentimental longing for the past” (while a control group wrote about past events that were ordinary). Afterward, they reported on their levels of positive and negative emotions and how much the writing provided a sense of social connection, meaning, or connection to their past self. At different points in time, they also reported on their life satisfaction, feelings of vitality, and well-being.
A lot of the benefits on happiness may be connected to nostalgia’s effects on social connection and meaning. But it could also be that nostalgia helps us see ourselves in a truer, more authentic light.
Nostalgia puts us in touch with our authentic selves
When thinking nostalgically about our past, we are the prime protagonists in our own life stories. Perhaps because of this, nostalgia helps us to see our lives as continuous and coherent, providing us with a sense of authenticity.
In one study, when primed to feel nostalgic by writing about a time in their past, people saw their past self as an authentic representation of themselves. This, in turn, reduced their focus on meeting the expectations of others versus following their own, intrinsic expectations of themselves. In other words, it helped them be their authentic selves.
The researchers also studied how threats to one’s sense of self might make people engage in more nostalgia. Half of the participants read this text: “Many people feel that they have two sides to themselves. One side is the person that they show to other people; the other side is their true self—that is, the person who they truly are deep down.” Then, they wrote about times in their lives when they’d found it hard to reveal their real selves to others. The other half of the participants wrote about their daily routines and when those routines were disrupted. Then, both groups reported on their positive and negative emotions, as well as feelings of nostalgia.
Findings showed that people who focused on threats to their self-concept experienced more negative emotions, and in turn felt more nostalgic. This suggests that nostalgia helps put us in touch with our “real selves” and protects us against threats to our authenticity.
Perhaps for this reason, engaging in nostalgia can lead to personal growth. At least one study found that feeling nostalgia made people feel more positively about themselves, which, in turn, made them more open to experiencing new things, expanding their horizons, and being curious—all signs of psychological health.
Nostalgia may help people who feel disillusioned or depressed
Perhaps because of these potential benefits, people tend to engage in nostalgia when they are feeling down, lonely, or disillusioned. Many studies have found that nostalgia seems to protect people from negative mind states, bringing about a kind of emotional homeostasis.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that nostalgia is always good or can’t have a downside. If nostalgia makes us spend too much time thinking about our past, it may prevent us from recognizing the joy in our lives right here and now. And, since we tend to engage in nostalgia when negative things occur, it could become an avoidance strategy that keeps us from dealing with present problems in more effective ways.
Encouraging groups of people to feel nostalgic could also have negative consequences. For example, one study found that nostalgia made people more likely to believe political claims, regardless of their veracity. Inducing nostalgia could be an advertising ploy used to affect consumer behavior, which could lead to poor choices, too.
Still, chances are that nostalgia is more a blessing than a curse, and a winning strategy for feeling better about ourselves. It can increase our connection to others, our sense of meaning in our lives, our authenticity, and our happiness. So, why not tune into nostalgia now and then? It may just help you meet the challenges of the moment.
So the next time you’re tempted to go down
MEMORY LANE
settle in
buckle up
enjoy the ride
and make sure
someone’s sitting in the
passenger seat
someone
to make some more
m e m o r i e s
because our greatest memories
just might be the ones
we’ve yet to create
which is always the hope
of any day
or holiday
looming before us. . .
E N J O Y
F R I T T E R I N G
We all do it
. . .in fact,
it may be the one thing that every single one of us are
E X P E R T S:
F R I T T E R I N G
SOMETIMES BEING ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE
MEANS BEING NOTHING
TO NO ONE. . .
We are all so busy
DOING THE BUSY
that we let the
PRECIOUS
slip us by
without much noticing it
. . .THE EXTRA of the o r d i n a r y
and then much to late
with much less than an
exhausted sigh
it’s ALL gone. . .
WE WISH FOR MUCH
but seldom for
the REALIZATION OF NOW
the RIGHT HERE
the MOMENT
the NOW
NOT TODAY
NOT EVER
as long as you ask often:
WELL. . .
What answer you
Never make a
QUESTION
what you can have as a
LIFE STYLE STATEMENT
FRITTER ON
(no more)
The OTHER FACES of Grief
William E. Behrens of Washington,
Pennsylvania | 1931 – 2021 | Obituary
He was born on October 1, 1931, in Wheeling, WV, a son of the late Ellsworth and Rhea Eichenbrod Behrens.
Mr. Behrens graduated from Triadelphia High School, where he had met his future wife, and went on to earn a Bachelor’s degree from the University of South Carolina, where he attended on a football scholarship, and subsequently his Master’s degree from West Virginia University.
William proudly served in the United States Air Force, and was Honorably Discharged with the rank of Captain.
He was a long time member of Fairhill manor Christian Church, where he served as an elder.
Mr. Behrens was a teacher and a coach in the Washington, Trinity and South Fayette School Districts.
He was a Free Mason, and a member of the Edwin Scott Linton Post 175 of the American Legion.
William was a life long learner, and enjoyed traveling with his wife, and spending time with his family.
On June 7, 1952, he married Phyllis J. Snyder, who died on August 24, 2019. They had celebrated 67 wonderful years together.
Surviving are four children, Deborah A. (William) Farrer, of Washington, Charles W. (Erin) Behrens, of Bay Village, OH, Michael E. (Mary) Behrens, of Washington, and Thomas (Marianne) Behrens, of San Antonio, TX; fifteen grandchildren, Katie (James) Hall, Maggie (Philip) Amaismeir, Gina (Anthony) Trovato, Angie Cozadd, Liv Maciak, Connor Behrens, Zoe Kowalski, Aubrey (David) Cincinnati, Brandon (Ami) Behrens, Cassandra (Michael) Hazlett, Derek Behrens, Patrick Behrens, Sydney Behrens, Colin Behrens, and Norah Behrens; and his much loved twenty-one great grandchildren.
Deceased, in addition to his parents, and wife, are two sisters and a brother.
Interment in the National Cemetery of the Alleghenies will be private.
It has been a week since my father died. I have long known about and taught and somewhat experienced the five stages of grief from the loss of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, special friends and now both of my parents.
I believe the grief is as individual and as unique and as intimate and individual to each of us that for me to say, “I know what you’re going through,” or “I understand, because, I too, have lost my father, my mother, a brother a child, a good friend…” is never quite accurate.
Seven days into this new grief, what I’ve experienced more, it’s on the things that we don’t talk about or on a part of those stages, but still very real, very intimate, very individual and unique, at least to me.
Dare I say. . .
DARE I EVEN INSINUATE. . .
Another Face of GRIEF
. . .the one that has a
S M I L E
because of:
RELIEF. I feel a tremendous amount of relief with a good dose of a tinge of guilt, not so much because I won’t be making a couple of trips back to Washington, Pennsylvania on the weekend; not because I won’t be making phone calls in between visits or funerals or family obligations, but because I know my father is no longer confined to a bed or wheelchair or in his infamous words, “three walls and the ceiling.”
GRATITUDE. I feel an immense sense of gratitude over these past seven days. I often ask people sometimes at funerals and sometimes in presentations, “Listen, if I have a magical door, and by walking through that magical door, you would never shed another tear; you would never have a sense of loss; there would never be a moment of sadness at all, and all you had to do was just simply walk through the magical door, would you do it? Now right off the cuff, you might be thinking, “Absolutely, get me to that door.” But, like most things, there’s another side to the coin and yes, there are consequences for all of our actions and thoughts… so what is the catch here? It’s true, you would never have any other moments of sadness; there would be no sense of loss; you would not shed another tear and grief wouldn’t exist, but it also would mean that the person that you grieve would have never been a part of your life, which in some instances means it it would be physically impossible for you to even be here. Who would choose THAT DOOR? I’ve had a tremendous sense of gratitude not just because it would have been physically impossible for me to be here, but also because of all I’ve been able to be and do because I am here. I am grateful for more memories, it seems that my mind can hold or ever recall. Gratitude. . .for all of those people who were able to care for my dad these past five years while he was in the nursing facility. I’ve grieved this in my own life and I sort of grieved it even before the passing of my dad: I want to be all things to all people, especially the people that I love the most. Sometimes, in spite of it, BEING ALL THINGS is the last thing that I am able to do for those special people in my life. BUT, it seems like that is exactly when there are other people that do exactly what’s needed way more than I could have ever possibly be able to do. There have been these people in my father’s life who have gone way above and beyond their duties in offering an extraordinary compassionate care, not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, and psychosocially. I find that “THANK YOU” are words that seem so cheap, and cliché-like, you get a time like this because they can’t convey the depth of appreciation and gratitude that you have for what they’ve done, that you couldn’t
PEACE. Now that’s a definition that you may be able to look up in Webster‘s or you may be able to Google it, but exactly what is that, WHAT IS PEACE? It’s a word that has Vaseline all over it because it’s a meaning, a definition that is as unique, as intimate to each person as their own fingerprint. I often say to somebody that I know who is grieving and even at a funeral, that their loved one’s peace will now be their peace, and I believe that if we have the Peace that the loved one has, it’ll be a peace that having experienced it, will then be a part of you ongoing.
I’ve always found it interesting that the stages of grief are not often lived on actual stages, where people can come, pay for a ticket and watch, maybe even applaud, maybe even get a standing ovation to the performance that you give them. And yet, it’s often one that we are still judged.
The initial takeaway: THIS GRIEF, the one that wears a smile on it’s distorted face, this grief, is a gift, maybe the last one that our loved one ever gives us because it is the one that last forever. I don’t grieve my grief, I embrace it. I refuse to go to THE DOOR that would erase it and though sometimes it may feel like hugging a porcupine, I’ll hug it all the tighter and feel honored that I have it to hug tighter because that’s my last act of love received in and through me for Some One else to experience when I too, am present but not here. . .
It’s tempting to grieve,
but I am severely happy
that what has begun with two people in love for over 70 years
and married for 67 of them,
started what they no way could imagine
would continue
and go on and on. . .
Yeah. . .
Sometimes
G R I E F
comes with a smile on its
F a C e
THE FUNERAL
No matter what religion or spiritual path you follow (or don’t), there’s one topic that fascinates us all:What happens after we die?
Reincarnation? Eternal Heaven? Total blackness and non-existence? Something totally different?
No matter what we believe though, there’s a few basic facts about death that we all know to be true.
The first fact of death is the obvious:
We’ve all been born with a sexually transmitted disease
called: LIFE
and none of us gets out of here
A L I V E
YES. . . we are all going to die. Yes, every single person on this planet is going to die someday, somehow, somewhere.
The second fact is less obvious:
After we die, our lives will be etched in the hearts of others. We live eternally. Forever. In other people.
That’s what today’s video is really about.
It’s about the relationships we forge during our lives that are so powerful they impact people even after we die.
Today’s movie is called “The Funeral.” It starts with a little bit of humor, and it quickly goes deep and gets to the heart of the matter. . .a heart that beats like no other when filled with a love that death can’t begin to part let alone forget. . .
SO HERE’S THE DEAL:
THE DEEPER YOU LOVE
THE DARKER YOU HURT
so. . .
LOVE DEEPER, STILL
LOVE DEEPER, MORE
L O V E
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