When the rain falls
it gathers in the potholes
the dipped
not so evenly carved out
valleys
deep earth scars
that hold it
more tenderly
than Angel hugs
until unnoticed
drop by drop
they evaporate in a
Sun’s Shine
that can never be imagined
only experienced
so that it wishes
for yet another time
when the rain falls
IT’S IN EVERY ONE OF US
I first saw this clip of
It’s In Everyone Of Us
by David Pomeranz
nearly 30 years ago
and yet
T O D A Y
it feels
new all over again
with one simple message:
LET’S GET ALONG
The seeds of Peace lie within each of us;
but no seed grows that’s not planted,
nurtured,
harvested
and ultimately
s h a r e d. . .
And the tools
are already in your hands
to be used
. . .will you?
W H E N ?
but a realization
waiting for you
to make it happen
It’s TIME to
A C T
like IT
SOME WORDS NOT OUR OWN
THERE ARE SOME WORDS
NOT MY OWN
THAT SAY SO MUCH MORE
THAN I COULD EVER WRITE
OR SAY
B U T
need to read or hear
than any that could bounce around in my head
or spill out of my pen
L I K E:
my brain and
heart divorceda decade agoover who was
to blame about
how big of a mess
I have becomeeventually,
they couldn’t be
in the same room
with each othernow my head and heart
share custody of meI stay with my brain
during the weekand my heart
gets me on weekendsthey never speak to one another
– instead, they give me
– the same note to pass
– to each other every week
and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:“This is all your fault”
on Sundays
my heart complains
about how my
head has let me down
in the pastand on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the futurethey blame each
other for the
state of my lifethere’s been a lot
of yelling – and cryingso,
lately, I’ve been
spending a lot of
time with my gut
who serves as my
unofficial therapistmost nights, I sneak out of the
window in my ribcageand slide down my spine
and collapse on my
gut’s plush leather chair
that’s always open for me~ and I just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes uplast evening,
my gut asked me
if I was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my headI nodded
I said I didn’t know
if I could live with
either of them anymore“my heart is always sad about
something that happened yesterday
while my head is always worried
about something that may happen tomorrow,”
I lamentedmy gut squeezed my hand
“I just can’t live with
my mistakes of the past
or my anxiety about the future,”
I sighedmy gut smiled and said:
“in that case,
you should
go stay with your
lungs for a while,”I was confused
– the look on my face gave it away
“if you are exhausted about
your heart’s obsession with
the fixed past and your mind’s focus
on the uncertain futureyour lungs are the perfect place for you
there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there eitherthere is only now
there is only inhale
there is only exhale
there is only this momentthere is only breath
and in that breath
you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out.”this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leavesand while my
heart was staring
at old photographsI packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungsbefore I could even knock
she opened the door
with a smile and as
a gust of air embraced me
she said“what took you so long?”
~ John Roedel (johnroedel.com)
were spoken first by
Someone Else
and echoing intimately within us
For An Ever. . .
ALL DAY SUCKERS
that deliver more flavor
that can be promised
. . .only enjoyed
MORE THAN A MOMENT
I took a Moment
and then to really honor him
I TOOK ANOTHER MOMENT
and PAUSED
without hitting any magical button. . .
Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk who was one of the world’s most influential Zen masters, spreading messages of mindfulness, compassion and nonviolence, died this past Saturday, January 22, 2022 at his home in the Tu Hieu Temple in Hue, Vietnam. He was 95.
The death was announced by Plum Village, his organization of monasteries. He suffered a severe brain hemorrhage in 2014 that left him unable to speak, though he could communicate through gestures.
A prolific author, poet, teacher and peace activist, Thich Nhat Hanh was exiled from Vietnam after opposing the war in the 1960s and became a leading voice in a movement he called “engaged Buddhism,” the application of Buddhist principles to political and social reform.
Traveling widely on speaking tours in the United States and Europe (he was fluent in English and French), Thich Nhat Hanh (pronounced tik nyaht hahn) was a major influence on Western practices of Buddhism, urging the embrace of mindfulness, which his website describes as “the energy of being aware and awake to the present moment.”
In 2018, he returned home to Hue, in central Vietnam, to live out his last days at the Tu Hieu Temple, where he had become a novice as a teenager.
Thich Nhat Hanh dismissed the idea of death. “Birth and death are only notions,” he wrote in his book “No Death, No Fear.” “They are not real.”
That understanding, he wrote, can liberate people from fear and allow them to “enjoy life and appreciate it in a new way.”
His connection with the United States began in the early 1960s, when he studied at Princeton Theological Seminary in New Jersey and later lectured at Cornell and Columbia. He influenced the American peace movement, urging the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to oppose the Vietnam War.
Dr. King nominated him for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1967, but the prize was not awarded to anyone that year.
“I do not personally know of anyone more worthy than this gentle monk from Vietnam,” Dr. King wrote to the Nobel Institute in Norway. “His ideas for peace, if applied, would build a monument to ecumenism, to world brotherhood, to humanity.”
Thich Nhat Hanh was born Nguyen Xuan Bao in Hue on Oct. 11, 1926. He joined a Zen monastery at 16 and studied Buddhism there as a novice. Upon his ordination in 1949, he assumed the Dharma name Thich Nhat Hanh. Thich is an honorary family name used by Vietnamese monks and nuns. To his followers he was known as Thay, or teacher.
Thich Nhat Hanh began writing and speaking out against the war and in 1964 published a poem called “Condemnation” in a Buddhist weekly. It reads in part:
Whoever is listening, be my witness:
I cannot accept this war.
I never could I never will.
I must say this a thousand times before I am killed.
I am like the bird who dies for the sake of its mate,
dripping blood from its broken beak and crying out:
“Beware! Turn around and face your real enemies
— ambition, violence hatred and greed.”
The poem earned him the label “antiwar poet,” and he was denounced as a pro-Communist propagandist.
Thich Nhat Hanh took up residence in France when the South Vietnamese government denied him permission to return from abroad after the signing of the Paris Peace Accords in 1973.
He was unable to return to Vietnam until 2005, when the Communist government allowed him to teach, practice and travel throughout the country. His antiwar activism continued, and in a talk in Hanoi in 2008 he said the Iraq war had resulted from fear and misunderstanding in which violence fed on itself.
“We know very well that airplanes, guns and bombs cannot remove wrong perceptions,” he said. “Only loving speech and compassionate listening can help people correct wrong perceptions. But our leaders are not trained in that discipline, and they rely only on the armed forces to remove terrorism.”
Yeah, I took a moment last Saturday when I heard of Thich Nhat Hanh’s death
AND THEN I TOOK ANOTHER ONE. . .
Now
I’m inviting you to take a little more than
A MOMENT
not to pause
not to remember
not to honor
not to celebrate
a Life
BUT THE LIFE IN YOU
WORTH LIVING
WORTH SHARING
W O R T H
taking more than whatever we think is
A MOMENT
YOUR ASSURANCE POLICY
IT USED TO BE
that Beer Commercials were the best
b u t
INSURANCE COMMERCIALS
now offer
way more than
I N S U R A N C E
There’s a lot of things that can go wrong in life. . .
Unfortunate things and difficult experiences
are happening every day
all across the world. . .
That’s just part of
L i F e
And it never has to
stop us
from living
The Good Life. . .
The courage to live —
not in spite of those difficulties,
but rather regardless of them–
is what makes the good life possible.
(perhaps even because of them?)
So. . .
Tell me about YOU
SHOW US
Your ASSURANCE POLICY
. . .It’s so much more than
A Commercial
. . .and it never has to be Purchased
or has an expiration date
BROKEN PIECES
Our Broken Pieces
never cut
wound
or cause scarsThey are incisions
in the soul
that never need a
stitch or a stapleThe closing
would be the
worst injury
of all
S h A t T e R e D
escapes it
IT SO IMPORTANT
TO KNOW
RE-LEARN
S H O W
to be more of
A CARING CATALYST
than ever before
(EVERY BROKEN PIECE OF YOU)
WHEN CHRISTMAS ISN’T (OVER)
IT WAS JUST TWO WEEKS AGO. . .
C H R I S T M A S
but it might as well be
TWO YEARS AGO. . .
Seriously,
does it feel like it was just
two weeks?
. . .and more importantly,
IS IT OFFICIALLY OVER?
When Christmas has seemingly been
CURB-SIDED
is it over
When Christmas Isn’t (Over) is it. . .
If you’d think so
If you’d bet on it
then read a real life
Act of Kindness
that took place at Heinens
a local grocery store
A truly vivid-in-color unforgettable act of kindness:
This morning I was grocery shopping at Heinens and as the grocery store clerk was informing me of my total I realized that I had left my debit card in my car. This adorable woman in line behind me comes running up to the credit card machine and offers to use her credit card and let me pay her back via Venmo. Once my transaction is complete, I head back over to her so we can exchange our info and settle up. She wouldn’t let me pay her back and bought my groceries! I was literally speechless and quite emotional. What she didn’t know is tomorrow is the ten year anniversary of me losing my eldest child in an accident and I’m always a little scatter-brained and off this time of year. That I just recently went through a divorce, have had to move, haven’t been able to go back to work so that I can e-learn with my two sweet kids and haven’t seen my family in months. I guess what I’m trying to say is that she could never have known all that I’m going through, and her extreme act of kindness has touched me so deeply and profoundly. I hear of these things happening, but I’ve never been on the receiving end of such a kind gesture. I would love to know who you are to formerly thank you. And seriously…I’ll pay you back! Thank you!!!
Well. . .
Maybe just maybe
CHRISTMAS
isn’t over until you say so
(or worse, SHOW it is)
m a y b e
WHEN CHRISTMAS ISN’T (OVER)
Carols play
Lights Sparkle
Bells Ring
Carolers Sing
Trees Get Decorated
Tinsel Glitters
Cookies Get Baked
Parties Get Partied
Gifts Are Given
Presents Get Opened
Hands Get Held
Kisses Last Longer
Hugs Are Tighter
Snow Is Prettier
Cold is Warmed
When Christmas isn’t (Over)
You Aren’t
When Christmas Isn’t (Over)
Begin And Begin And Begin
is the Refrain to every song
Without a hint of Evergreen
Without a warm glow of Candle Light
To lead you from
A Now
to
For An Ever
When Christmas Isn’t (Over)
BOOK IT
Be the Everliving Proof. . .
((( I wrote this blog post about an unforgettable Act of Kindness last weekend after I saw the blog post on the Secret Bay page way before the the annivisary events that took place at the Capital on 1/6 in 2021. We just observed the unfortunate events that took place a year ago, yesterday. Does it fit? Should I have scrapped the Post and harshly and vehemently denounced what appeared in living vivid color on our televisions/device’s and now what we are being reminded of a year later? Well, I chose to prove one of the points I have literally devoted my life: THAT CHRISTMAS ISN’T (OVER), isn’t a day or a Season so much as a lifestyle and now more than ever needs to be lived and most especially experienced. As a fellow Caring Catalyst, join me; please join me. )))
BEYOND A SEASON
CHRISTMAS IS BARELY 48 HOURS PAST US
AS IT STRUGGLES ALWAYS
TO NEVER LEAVE US
or worse:
BE LEFT BY US. . .
Just what is it
that makes any Season
A Lifestyle. . .
BECOME THAT!
W A T C H:
LOVE IS A GIFT THAT GOES BEYOND A SEASON
BE THE CURE FOR SOMEONE’S LONELINESS
THE SYMPHONY IN YOU IS ONLY AS MAGNIFICENT AS YOU ALLOW IT TO BE HEARD AND EXPERIENCED
THAT FACE
which hides a Christmas Wish
beyond a wrapped present
BE MORE OF AN OPEN HEART AND LESS OF AN OPENED PRESENT. . .
SEE
BE
FREE
That Difference
to/for Others
FOR THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT CARING FOR THOSE THEY CARE FOR
WHEN AN EACH IS TREATED LIKE NO OTHER
MAYBE THE GREATEST WAY TO CELEBRATE BEING IN A SNOW GLOBE WORLD IS NOT BREAKING IT BUT GIVING IT
CHRISTMAS when it ISN’T
I want to live in a World
where it’s
C H R I S T M A S
m o s t
WHEN IT ISN’T
where
PEACE ON EARTH
isn’t a dream
where
GOODWILL
is standard
where
PRESENTS
aren’t so much given
as GIVEN
where
my Best
becomes your BETTER
where
words don’t describe
but our ACTIONS do
where
SILENT NIGHT
shouts
what a heart beats
and a mouth can’t begin to whisper
where
______________
we fill in all of the blanks
where
a forever
is lived in a moment
that needs no years
or eternity
where
(oh where)
it all begins in me
but quickly
spreads infectiously to
o t h e r s
(continuously)
REMINISCENCE
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR
brings it out in all of us
THE ONCE UPON A TIME’S
THE REMEMBER WHEN’S
the essence of
r e m i n i s e n c e. . .
And it is
awesomely good
and can actually get better:
Five Ways Nostalgia Can Improve Your Well-Being
Some recent studies suggest that experiencing nostalgia about our past can make us happier and more resilient during times of stress. . .
We often find ourselves nostalgic for days gone by—especially my young adulthood. Thinking about days of once upon a time’s and remember when’s we always still want to be apart and never far apart from.that gives us a bittersweet feeling—a mixture of joy, sadness, and longing.
While we find nostalgia pleasant overall and even inspiring, doctors and psychologists did not always consider it a good thing. Staying “stuck in the past” was often associated with being unable to adjust to new realities, like when soldiers were nostalgic for their faraway homes and experienced loneliness and dread. Not that long ago, some considered nostalgia to be a mental illness, akin to melancholy, which could lead to anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders.
But more recent findings on nostalgia suggest it can be good for us, increasing our well-being, making us feel connected to other people, and giving us a sense of continuity in our lives. And it seems to come on naturally when we need to weather life’s difficulties. Rather than being a problem, nostalgia can help bring happiness and meaning to our lives.
Here are some of the ways nostalgia can benefit us, according to science.
Nostalgia makes us feel socially connected
Nostalgia about our past often includes recalling important people in our lives—people who cared about us and made us feel like we belonged. Certainly, our own nostalgic musings are centered around times when we were with the people and places we love. So, it’s not too surprising that recalling these special times would make us feel more connected to others, in general.
In one study, researchers found that people who were asked to write about an event from their past that made them feel “sentimental longing for the past” felt loved and supported, and this, in turn, helped buffer them against loneliness. Another study found that when people felt nostalgic about times in their lives when they interacted with members of an “out-group”—for example, teenagers recalling fun times with older adults—they felt less prejudice toward that group.
Nostalgia also seems to help us maintain our relationships. For example, one study found that inducing nostalgia helped people feel more optimistic about relationships in general and more willing to connect with friends. Another study found that when induced to feel nostalgia, people (especially those who find connecting with others easier) felt more able to offer emotional support to the people in their lives.
Nostalgia helps us find meaning in life
A sense of meaning in life involves knowing that your existence matters and that your life has coherence or purpose. It’s something we all strive for in one way or another.
Fortunately, research suggests nostalgia can be an important resource for increasing meaning, by highlighting central moments in our lives and giving us a sense of continuity.
In one study, researchers compared nostalgia to two seemingly related forms of thinking about one’s life: recalling a positive past event or imagining a desired future. Focusing on an event that made them nostalgic led people to feel their lives had more meaning compared to imagining a desirable future. And, compared to both other reflections, feeling nostalgic reduced people’s need to search for meaning in their lives—they already felt life had meaning.
In another study, people either listened to music that brought them back to a particular time or read lyrics to old songs. These nostalgic activities not only made them feel loved and socially connected but also increased their sense of meaning in life. And, when people read an essay that encouraged them to think that life had no meaning—which said, “There are approximately 7 billion people living on this planet. So take a moment to ponder the following question: In the grand scheme of things, how significant are you?”—they naturally turned to feelings of nostalgia for relief from that sense of meaninglessness.
These findings and others suggest that nostalgia not only heightens your sense of meaning in life, but can act as a buffer when you experience a loss of meaning. And it may help you move forward in life, too. As one study found, nostalgia can increase your motivation to pursue important life goals, because it increases meaning—not just because it puts you in a better mood.
Nostalgia can make us happier
Though it does seem to do just that—to boost our mood. Even though nostalgia is by definition a blend of positive and negative emotion, the positive tends to outweigh the negative, meaning we feel happier overall.
In one very recent study, 176 university students were randomly assigned to a six-week nostalgia program where they were asked weekly to write about a past event that brought on “a sentimental longing for the past” (while a control group wrote about past events that were ordinary). Afterward, they reported on their levels of positive and negative emotions and how much the writing provided a sense of social connection, meaning, or connection to their past self. At different points in time, they also reported on their life satisfaction, feelings of vitality, and well-being.
A lot of the benefits on happiness may be connected to nostalgia’s effects on social connection and meaning. But it could also be that nostalgia helps us see ourselves in a truer, more authentic light.
Nostalgia puts us in touch with our authentic selves
When thinking nostalgically about our past, we are the prime protagonists in our own life stories. Perhaps because of this, nostalgia helps us to see our lives as continuous and coherent, providing us with a sense of authenticity.
In one study, when primed to feel nostalgic by writing about a time in their past, people saw their past self as an authentic representation of themselves. This, in turn, reduced their focus on meeting the expectations of others versus following their own, intrinsic expectations of themselves. In other words, it helped them be their authentic selves.
The researchers also studied how threats to one’s sense of self might make people engage in more nostalgia. Half of the participants read this text: “Many people feel that they have two sides to themselves. One side is the person that they show to other people; the other side is their true self—that is, the person who they truly are deep down.” Then, they wrote about times in their lives when they’d found it hard to reveal their real selves to others. The other half of the participants wrote about their daily routines and when those routines were disrupted. Then, both groups reported on their positive and negative emotions, as well as feelings of nostalgia.
Findings showed that people who focused on threats to their self-concept experienced more negative emotions, and in turn felt more nostalgic. This suggests that nostalgia helps put us in touch with our “real selves” and protects us against threats to our authenticity.
Perhaps for this reason, engaging in nostalgia can lead to personal growth. At least one study found that feeling nostalgia made people feel more positively about themselves, which, in turn, made them more open to experiencing new things, expanding their horizons, and being curious—all signs of psychological health.
Nostalgia may help people who feel disillusioned or depressed
Perhaps because of these potential benefits, people tend to engage in nostalgia when they are feeling down, lonely, or disillusioned. Many studies have found that nostalgia seems to protect people from negative mind states, bringing about a kind of emotional homeostasis.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that nostalgia is always good or can’t have a downside. If nostalgia makes us spend too much time thinking about our past, it may prevent us from recognizing the joy in our lives right here and now. And, since we tend to engage in nostalgia when negative things occur, it could become an avoidance strategy that keeps us from dealing with present problems in more effective ways.
Encouraging groups of people to feel nostalgic could also have negative consequences. For example, one study found that nostalgia made people more likely to believe political claims, regardless of their veracity. Inducing nostalgia could be an advertising ploy used to affect consumer behavior, which could lead to poor choices, too.
Still, chances are that nostalgia is more a blessing than a curse, and a winning strategy for feeling better about ourselves. It can increase our connection to others, our sense of meaning in our lives, our authenticity, and our happiness. So, why not tune into nostalgia now and then? It may just help you meet the challenges of the moment.
So the next time you’re tempted to go down
MEMORY LANE
settle in
buckle up
enjoy the ride
and make sure
someone’s sitting in the
passenger seat
someone
to make some more
m e m o r i e s
because our greatest memories
just might be the ones
we’ve yet to create
which is always the hope
of any day
or holiday
looming before us. . .
E N J O Y
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