JUST FOR THE RECORD
Dale A. Lombardi
When I’ve reached that certain age
and you wonder about my mental fitness . . .
Don’t ask me
who's President
or what year it is
or even what month
Ask me
what finches are drawn
to the thistle feeder
or what color the fire
when the hardenbergia blooms
in March
or how Willie-dog
spent his final hours
lying in the cool morning grass,
face tipped toward heaven
to receive the last of this earth’s sunshine
as a final blessing
Don’t ask me
to count backwards
by sevens
or to draw you a clock
or to tell you the time
Ask me
to tell you
when time stood still
or if I want more time
or how time passed so quickly
Don’t ask me
to take a deep breath
or to breathe normally
Ask me
what took my breath away
or when I knew beauty
so clear and pure and true
I couldn’t catch my breath
Don’t ask
to listen to my heart
Put your stethoscope away
and listen to what set my heart
on fire, what frayed
its very edges, or when pride and awe and love
nearly broke my heart
open
Ask me
What really matters
Was it all worthwhile
Who I’ve loved
and how
Ask
What binds us to all eternity
What’s at the very center
when all else is peeled away,
What will last—really last—
not anger or grief,
but music and art and poetry
and trees
Ask me
if I have hope,
not for myself
but for the world
And if I don’t answer . . .
Set down your hurry
Bring me a slice of calm
with some tea
Then pull your chair close,
take the pale wither
of my hand in yours,
and just sit, sit
with me
awhile
(text as posted at this link)
Maybe it’s not so much for what we reach for as what stretches out for us; sometimes that’s a hand, sometimes it’s an idea, a thought, a story, a poem, but it’s undeniable when it makes contact and causes not even ever so slightly to move us ever so powerfully.
Recently, the adage “Money can’t buy happiness” was given a leg to stand on by a study suggesting a raise won’t have a real impact on your state of mind. But a different study claims that in regard to your income, there is totally a financial sweet spot for optimal satisfaction.
The expansive study, published in the journal, Nature Human Behaviour, used a Gallup World Poll to evaluate the income and happiness of 1.7 million people around the world. The authors of the research found monetary averages associated with satisfaction: For daily emotional well-being, people were generally best off earning $60,000 to $75,000 a year, but for long-term satisfaction, the mark was $95,000.
In North America (and most “wealthy” countries), for daily emotional well-being, the sweet spot is an annual income of $65,000 to $95,000, and for long-term satisfaction that number is $105,000.
Those numbers are the worldwide average, however; the averages vary from country to country, and in North America (and most “wealthy” countries) they are higher. For daily emotional well-being, the sweet spot here is $65,000 to $95,000, and for long-term satisfaction that number is $105,000. The area with the lowest income marker for long-term satisfaction is Latin America, at $35,000, and Australia and New Zealand report the highest, at $125,000.
People were likely to see decreased happiness if they achieved more than the optimal income for long-term satisfaction, partially due to a phenomenon Money described as the “hedonic treadmill,” in which people adjust to increases in income.
But happiness does peak at a certain point, according to the researchers. If people achieved more than the optimal income for long-term satisfaction, they were likely to see decreased happiness, partially due to a phenomenon Money described as the “hedonic treadmill.” This describes when people very quickly adjust to increases in income.
Still, the study has its shortcomings: Gauging and measuring happiness is a subjective practice that often relies on self-reporting. Additionally, the study examined individual income instead of household income, which might have skewed conclusions about how much money someone needs in order to be happy. Not to mention that the concept of happiness itself is contentious, and many nations don’t place as much weight on it as Americans do.
“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.”
-Albert Einstein
“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” — A. Einstein (1879 – 1955)Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.— Einstein’s words in a letter to the professor emeritus of philosophy, Morris Raphael Cohen, supporting Bertrand Russell’s candidacy as a teacher, ca. 1940. When’s the last time you go a good dose of Albert? I’ve got to be honest with you, he lost me, BURIED ME with the E=mc2/relativity stuffs; BUT. . .Well. . .
“I didn’t arrive at my understanding of the fundamental laws of the universe through my rational mind.”
“Concerning matter, we have been all wrong. What we have called matter is energy, whose vibration has been so lowered as to be perceptible to the senses. Matter is spirit reduced to point of visibility. There is no matter.”
“Time and space are not conditions in which we live, but modes by which we think. Physical concepts are free creations of the human mind, and are not, however it may seem, determined by the external world.”
“Time does not exist – we invented it. Time is what the clock says. The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”
“I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me.”
“The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, the solution comes to you and you don’t know how or why.”
“A human being experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”
“Our separation from each other is an optical illusion.”
“When something vibrates, the electrons of the entire universe resonate with it. Everything is connected. The greatest tragedy of human existence is the illusion of separateness.”
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
“We are souls dressed up in sacred biochemical garments and our bodies are the instruments through which our souls play their music.”
“When you examine the lives of the most influential people who have ever walked among us, you discover one thread that winds through them all. They have been aligned first with their spiritual nature and only then with their physical selves.”
“The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation from the self.”
“The ancients knew something, which we seem to have forgotten.”
“The more I learn of physics, the more I am drawn to metaphysics.”
“One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike. We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us. It is entirely possible that behind the perception of our senses, worlds are hidden of which we are unaware.”
“I’m not an atheist. The problem involved is too vast for our limited minds. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many languages. The child knows someone must have written those books.”
“The common idea that I am an atheist is based on a big mistake. Anyone who interprets my scientific theories this way, did not understand them.”
“Everything is determined, every beginning and ending, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect, as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.”
“The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It will transcend a personal God and avoid dogma and theology.”
“Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.”
“Everything is energy and that is all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you can not help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”
“I am happy because I want nothing from anyone. I do not care about money. Decorations, titles or distinctions mean nothing to me. I do not crave praise. I claim credit for nothing. A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.”
I GOT ALBERT’D
and now
m a y b e
you just got Albert’d, too
It’s kind of amazing isn’t it. . .
It’s Valentine’s Day week,
Which means it’s a great day for people who really love each other
but not so great day for people that are grieving
or folks who have lost
or others who are alone. . .
Wonder if it
WASN’T
about that kind of love
Wonder if Valentine’s Day
was actually a gift that you give to somebody,
that includes Everybody
no matter
race
creed
religion
sex
no matter alone
no matter grieving
no matter sad or happy
What if it was a day that you just loved just to love
and maybe even better
Wonder if it was just a day to love
the way a person deserves to be loved
now that would be quite a day
we’re celebrating, right
and guess what
. . .not just on February 14
How about let’s make it that kind of a day
not only on Wednesday
but each day
how about
T O D A Y
before the 14th of February (or the 14th of any other month) S E E. . .
When Valentine’s Day is more than just a day
it has the greatest opportunity to become a l i f e s t y l e
A new study suggests that forgiving past transgressions could help us see people in a better light. . .
Jill Suttie, Psy.D., is Greater Good’s former book review editor and now serves as a staff writer and contributing editor for the magazine. She received her doctorate of psychology from the University of San Francisco in 1998 and was a psychologist in private practice before coming to Greater Good. Jill asserts that Forgiveness carries many benefits, according to research. Releasing feelings of resentment or vengeance makes us happier, improves our health, and sustains relationships, among other things. . .
Now, a new study suggests another potential gain from forgiving others: It may decrease our paranoia—something that could otherwise keep us locked into patterns of distrust and isolation.
In a series of experiments, researchers measured forgiveness and paranoia. In one, for example, participants completed a questionnaire measuring their tendency toward forgiving others that asked how much they agree with statements like, “I continue to punish a person who has done something I think is wrong”or “Although others have hurt me in the past, I have eventually been able to see them as good people.”
Three days later and ten days later, researchers asked participants to recall a pleasant and difficult social experience they’d had recently, and to rate how stressed and paranoid they felt after each experience. Difficult social experiences included things like not being invited to a friend’s party, being treated rudely by a store clerk, or fighting with a colleague about work issues. Ratings of paranoia came from asking people how much they agreed with statements like “Someone has it in for me” or “Someone would have harmed me if they could.”
After analyzing the results, the researchers found that all participants had higher levels of paranoia and stress for unpleasant events than for pleasant events—no surprise there. However, those who were more forgiving types experienced lower stress and paranoia in those difficult situations than people who were less forgiving.
“These findings add dispositional forgiveness to the range of psychological resources that buffer or attenuate paranoia,” write the authors.
Though the results imply a positive role for forgiveness, it’s hard to know whether more paranoid people are less forgiving or people reluctant to forgive become more paranoid. To get at this, the researchers performed another experiment in which they tried to encourage people to take on a more forgiving mindset.
Since there is no quick, easy way to do this—forgiving others can actually take a lot of effort and time—they used a proxy activity. Participants filled out a questionnaire created by the authors that supposedly measured their forgiveness tendencies, then were randomly told that they’d scored either above or below average on their willingness to forgive others who’d harmed them. After being asked to write an essay explaining why they scored the way they did, they filled out actual, scientifically validated forgiveness surveys, which indicated if they’d absorbed this view of themselves as more or less forgiving people.
Next, they were given the paranoia survey to see if being forgiving affected their scores. Those prompted to feel more forgiving scored lower on the paranoia survey than their less forgiving counterparts. This suggests that encouraging a forgiving mindset may help us avoid overreacting to harm from others.
“We conceptually replicated and extended [our] findings by demonstrating, for the first time, that forgiveness exerts a causal effect on (reduced) paranoia,”the researchers write.
Of course, it’s important that forgiveness not be coerced and that people who have harmed you aren’t simply “let off the hook.” Researchers often emphasize that forgiveness is more about personal well-being for the person who was harmed—and that doesn’t necessarily mean you need to reconcile with someone or preclude you from seeking justice.
So, if you are withholding forgiveness, it may mean you are also holding on to paranoia, making it difficult to trust others’ motivations in everyday life. If so, it could be useful to consider the work of forgiving others—not just for your own mental health, but to prevent you taking out your pain on other people.
Whether we wanted to or not we are celebrating (ok, observing) GROUNDHOG DAY t o d a y which always brings to mind the 1993 movie starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell which finds him reliving the same day over and over again when as a weatherman he goes on location to the small town of P U N X S U T A W N E Y to film a report about their annual Groundhog Day. His predicament drives him to distraction until he sees a way of turning the situation to his advantage. . . A CLASSIC which has had us not only sarcastically sighing, “THIS FEELS LIKE GROUNDHOG DAY” during our way-too-long-pandemic. . . and it’s done a little to maybe help us recognize not so much our own personal GROUNDHOG DAY as we dare catch a glimpse of OUR SHADOW. . .
Here could be the big Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm of it all:
Know Yourself by Knowing Your Shadow
Understanding Carl Jung’s Concept of The Shadow. . .
I recently perused an article by Brenden Weber that pulled back the curtain on THE SHADOW
Have you ever wondered, how well do you really know yourself? As Plato once said, “know thyself.”
But why?
Typically, when we contemplate whether we know ourselves, the thoughts that come into our minds are our desires, values, and beliefs about the universe. These characteristics we form around ourselves is our code; something the “I” we create for ourselves identifies with. That saying, ‘every man has a code,’ we all do. You have a code that you see the world through and make decisions with, it’s the conscious ego. That code is customizable and changeable.
But what can we do with this awareness? We can ask ourselves, who am I? That’s really the most reliable thing you have, knowing yourself.
We all create this belief system we follow — the identity of you — that is your moral code, your sense of duty, your sense of purpose; the identity that becomes the driving force for action.
But is that truly you?
Ask yourself, have you ever done or said anything — on impulse — that you regretted afterward? You get frustrated and down on yourself — you scream in your head, “why did I say that?” And if that doesn’t relate, think of a time where you had this sudden emotional reaction — out of anger — that had you wondering, why couldn’t I control my emotions? My anger.
Those moments are us coming face to face with our shadow self.
The Shadow
As psychologist Carl Jung said:
“The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.”
The shadow within all of us is the parts of us we deny in ourselves and cast out into our own inner abyss. That abyss is the place within ourselves that our conscious ego has tried to forget about. We lock it up and throw away the key, yet it’s still there screaming, yelling, and demanding control over your actions.
Seeing the shadow within us is difficult, it’s in that black abyss of our mind that is difficult to enter, as it’s hard to face.
Yet, the judgmental creatures that we humans are, we are good at seeing those shadow traits in others, but not ourselves.
Think of your favorite celebrities and public figures. When a story of cheating in a relationship, corruption, or simply a public display of anger from one of them, the public quickly moves to pass judgment.
This judgment is a reaction that protects us from admitting to ourselves that those thoughts, reactions, and emotions lie within us. This idea is what Jung calls “projection.”
You see, our conscious mind wants to avoid our own shadow, yet our subconscious wants us to acknowledge that abyss of the shadow self, but instead of going into the abyss of our minds — our own shadow — we project and amplify the flaws of others.
We notice these shadow traits of aggression, carelessness, materialism, hatred, envy in the projections we create of others. But that projection becomes a reflection of you: a denial of the perceived inferior qualities and evils that we do not want to admit is deep within us.
We set our conscious mind on the throne of our ego.
Imagine that throne being a giant iceberg, your ego is the tip floating above the water, but that unconscious mind is where the shadow lurks in the endless mountain of ice that lies beneath.
To understand this, imagine a time you had a friend confront you about a fault, something as simple as arriving late to everything. When confronted you are met with this overwhelming rage for a moment. That rage is from your friend hitting the iceberg beneath the surface, the nerves you weren’t aware of, thus lack control of.
For Jung, when we deny the shadow, the more control it has of your thoughts, actions, and reactions.
As he said:
“everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”
Those projections are ways of passing blame for those perceived negative emotions we have ourselves. If we are not aware this is happening, we project our negative traits upon others, blaming them for our own shortcomings and our own lack of personal happiness.
So how do we work with our shadow?
For one, we must become aware of it — dive into the abyss with it — and integrate it into the whole of our conscious ego. If we deny the shadow, we allow it to control us while providing our ego the illusion of control.
We must identify possible origins for our shadow triggers, such as repressed trauma, pain, fear, and aggression.
We must then integrate our shadow by acknowledging those parts in our everyday lives. With this knowledge of those parts, only then can we unlock the wisdom that being aware of it brings.
So instead of allowing fear to control us, we choose courage; instead of pain, we see an opportunity for strength; instead of allowing the trauma to define us, we see it as an opportunity for understanding; instead of allowing aggression to overcome us, we see an opportunity to find our passion.
This understanding bleeds into our interactions with others, instead of meeting other shadows with our own irrational shadow, we meet it with compassion by knowing it’s a trigger they’ve not fully understood and integrated into themselves.
Jung said beautifully about what integrating your shadow into the whole can bring:
“Such a man knows that whatever is wrong in the world is in himself, and if he only learns to deal with his own shadow he has done something real for the world. He has succeeded in shouldering at least an infinitesimal part of the gigantic, unsolved social problems of our day.”
You see, changing the world begins with knowing yourself. . . R I G H T ? Hey. . . GROUNDHOG DAY will quickly be in the rearview mirror for another year but THE SHADOW. . . WELL. . .sometimes it feels like we live Groundhog Day every day just like the movie. . . and even though we most likely know that’s not exactly true When is there a day that we don’t ever live without our shadow. . . ?
The ones we make the ones we create the ones we try to hide from and certainly the ones we don’t always want to notice— Those Shadows The real kicker is most of the time we don’t actually acknowledge that it takes light to make the shadow. . .
That too can be self created manufactured, recognized, acknowledged and lived in. . . The Shadow’s purpose may not always have meaning may not always feel like it has a purpose— look closer. . . See what the shadow is actually shading but never quite masking. . .
. . .and know your Personal Power Source not only not only enables but pleads
KEEPING STILL
Pablo Neruda
(Translated from the Spanish by Dan Bellm)
Now we will count to twelve
and let’s keep quiet.
For once on earth
let’s not talk in any language;
let’s stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.
A moment like that would smell sweet,
no hurry, no engines,
all of us at the same time
in need of rest.
Fishermen in the cold sea
would stop harming whales
and the gatherer of salt
would look at his hurt hands.
Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victories with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and go for a walk with their brothers
out in the shade, doing nothing.
Just don’t confuse what I want
with total inaction;
it’s life and life only;
I’m not talking about death.
If we weren’t so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving
and could maybe do nothing for once
a huge silence might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves,
of threatening ourselves with death;
perhaps the earth could teach us;
everything would seem dead
and then be alive.
Now I will count up to twelve
and you keep quiet
and I will go.
(My thanks for the poem to Pablo Neruda, LIKE SO MANY TIMES WHEN POETRY POURS OVER ME. . .
IT POURS OUT OF ME IN A NOT SO QUIET SHUSHING:
Shhhhhhhhh we were told and often were offended by this not-so-gentle SHUTTING UP but power it is when we Self-Shush Even now NOW Do It Shhhhhhhh yourself down
Hush Hush yourself Quiet down to a Peace that be found no other way Let the self-imposed Stillness SCREAM at you what you truly need to hear (FALLING SILENT IS THE GENTLEST FALLING DOWN THERE IS) NOW shush yourself
(And have a HAPPY MONDAY in your own ‘shushed’ way)
Just when you thought you knew everything there was to know about SNOW BANKS
well. . .there’s never not a time to THINK AGAIN. . .
Sometimes I feel like a snow bank that has never been found seen very unknown and like a snow bank especially one like that
I’m waiting not for more snow
that could build upon me add on but for what can become from me maybe a snowman maybe a snow fort maybe snowballs or maybe just someplace something to be seen to be recognized to be identified to be known Sometimes I feel like a Snow Bank waiting w a i ti n g until some warm rays find their way to me and thaw away And remember. . .
before you completely melt away
P L A Y
HAVE FUN
Go get cold on purpose
and then go to your warm place and
R E M E M B E R
AWAY