What’s the song
—your song—
that you’re giving,
teaching the world to hear,
hum
As the world fights to figure everything out,
Political unrest
COVID,
BLM,
Life. . .
It’s an easy question
for the current moments
as we quickly leave the Holiday’s
(WHAT HOLIDAY’S)
way out of the sight of our rear view mirrors:
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A GREAT MONDAY. . . ?
DO YOU WANT A GUARANTEED MOST AWESOME LIFE. . . ?
Be Bold Enough
T R Y
Holding doors for strangers
Letting people cut in front of you in traffic
Keeping babies entertained in grocery lines
Stopping to talk to someone who is lonely
(or someone who’s not)
Tipping generously
Sharing food
Giving children (and the Children in all of us)
a thumbs-up
Being patient with sales clerks and tired waitresses
Smiling at passersbys
Complimenting strangers. . .
W H Y ?
Because
from now on
standing to live in a world
where love is invisible
is no longer acceptable. . .
Join me in
BEING
k i n d n e s s
PERSONIFIED COMPASSION
Understanding
judging less. . .
Be kind to a stranger
give grace to people who may be having a bad day
(assuming that everyone you meet might be having their worst day ever)
Be forgiving with yourself.
If you can’t find kindness
(because it hides sometimes better than showing off it’s bad self)
BE KINDNESS
Person by Person
Put down forever
the gavel of judgement
and it that hallowed
S i L e N c E
HEAR PEACE
That KINDNESS BEAT
that’ll do much more than get your foot tapping
. . .it’ll get it
MARCHING
in a new direction
HEAR YE,
HEAR YE. . .
A POEM OF US
Quite a lot to stand up at
Attention
Salute
and notice these past few days
all in a word
U N I T Y
but like most
w o r d s
they mean little
until they take on a meaning
far past
and deeper
than an ear can hear
a mouth can shout
or a mind, understand. . .
Maybe that’s an odd definition of a Poem
but when it’s
E X P E R I E N C E D
hearing or reading it
doesn’t matter
until it does
. . .until it does BOTH
Amanda Gorman’s Inaugural Poem
“THE HILL WE CLIMB”
Amanda Gorman became only the sixth inaugural poet in history, and the youngest ever, on Wednesday when she read her poem “The Hill We Climb” after the swearing-in of President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris.
Gorman’s poem – written at least partially in the aftermath of the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol Building on Jan. 6 – weaves the soaring language typical of inaugural poems past with sharp, syncopated lines about events from just days ago.
The Inaugural Poem has become a tradition for Democratic presidents since John F. Kennedy’s inauguration in 1961, when Robert Frost read his poem “The Gift Outright.”
At his first inaugural address in 1993, President Bill Clinton invited Maya Angelou to read her poem “On the Pulse of Morning.” Poet Miller Williams read at Clinton’s second inauguration, and Barack Obama had readings by poets Elizabeth Alexander and Richard Blanco at both of his ceremonies.
Gorman, a 22-year-old Harvard graduate, became the country’s first National Youth Poet Laureate in 2017. She is the author of the poetry book “The One for Whom Food is Not Enough.”
“Mr. President, Dr. Biden, Madam Vice President, Mr. Emhoff, Americans and the world: When the day comes we ask ourselves, ‘where can we find light in this never-ending shade, the loss we carry, a sea we must wade?’
We’ve braved the belly of the beast, we’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace. And the norms and notions of what just is isn’t always justice. And yet the dawn is ours before we knew it, somehow we do it. Somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed a nation that isn’t broken, but simply unfinished.
We, the successors of a country and a time where a skinny Black girl descended from slaves and raised by a single mother can dream of becoming president only to find herself reciting for one.
And yes, we are far from polished, far from pristine, but that doesn’t mean we are striving to form a union that is perfect. We are striving to forge our union with purpose. To compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters and conditions of man.
And so we lift our gazes not to what stands between us, but what stands before us. We close the divide, because we know to put our future first, we must first put our differences aside. We lay down our arms so we can reach out our arms to one another. We seek harm to none and harmony for all.
“Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true: that even as we grieved, we grew; that even as we hurt, we hoped; that even as we tired, we tried; that we’ll forever be tied together victorious, not because we will never again know defeat but because we will never again sow division.
Scripture tells us to envision that ‘everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree and no one shall make them afraid.’ If we’re to live up to our own time, then victory won’t lie in the blade but in all the bridges we’ve made.
That is the promise to glade, the hill we climb if only we dare it, because being American is more than a pride we inherit – it’s the past we step into and how we repair it.
We’ve seen a force that would shatter our nation rather than share it, would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy. And this effort very nearly succeeded. But while democracy can be periodically delayed, it can never be permanently defeated.
In this truth, in this faith we trust for while we have our eyes on the future, history has its eyes on us. This is the era of just redemption we feared at its inception.
We did not feel prepared to be the heirs of such a terrifying hour, but within it we found the power to author a new chapter, to offer hope and laughter to ourselves. So while once we asked ‘how could we possibly prevail over catastrophe,’ now we assert: ‘how could catastrophe possibly prevail over us?’
We will not march back to what was, but move to what shall be: a country that is bruised but whole, benevolent but bold, fierce and free. We will not be turned around or interrupted by intimidation because we know our enaction and inertia will be the inheritance of the next generation.
Our blenders become their burdens but one thing is certain: If we merge mercy with might, and might with right, then love becomes our legacy in change, our children’s birthright.
So let us leave behind a country better than the one we were left. With every breath from my bronze-pounded chest, we will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one. We will rise from the gold-limbed hills of the west, we will rise from the winds swept north, east where our forefathers first realized revolution. We will rise from the lake-rinsed cities of the midwestern states. We will rise from the sun-baked South. We will rebuild, reconcile, and recover in every known nook of our nation and every corner called our country, our people diverse and beautiful will emerge battered and beautiful.
When day comes, we step out of the shade, aflame and unafraid. The new dawn blooms as we free it. For there is always light if only we’re brave enough to see it, if only we’re brave enough to be it.”
A Poem
uses words
Great Poems inspire actions
which transpires them. . .
T H A T
we may all be more
ADJECTIVES
than NOUNS
are never anything less
than Words
actually becoming Flesh
giving words and actions
a deeper
longer-lasting
M E A N I N G
leading down
a-not-so-overly-familiar-road
to a day
that can’t be found or contained
on a calendar. . .
Great is the Day:
May the words
New
Beginning
Unity
be the Colorful Threads
that find themselves
in Each of our Tapestries
that fly high
in a gentle breeze of
CHANGE
(always for the better)
A Poem of
U S
never has to rhyme
to give us
R E A S O N
INAUGURATED
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S
THIS IS YOUR DAY
not a personal
Christmas
Birthday
Memorial Day
Independence Day
Easter
Passover
Hanukkak
Kwanzaa
Labor Day
Halloween
Thanksgiving
New Year’s
No, no. . .
It is YOUR INAUGURATION DAY
Y O U R S
THE DAY
you will begin to bring a phase of
U N I T Y
the likes
you or no one else has ever experienced,
YOU
The inaugural speech that will be given in just a few mere hours is likely to echo calls for unity that predecessors have invoked since the first time George Washington was sworn in.
“Unity has always been an aspiration,” says presidential historian Douglas Brinkley. “It seems like whenever we have foreign policy flare-ups, we use the word freedom. But when we have domestic turmoil we use the word unity.”
The United States was forged through compromise among factions that disagreed profoundly on slavery, regional influence and the relative powers of state and federal government. When Washington assumed office in 1789 he cited the blessings of providence in noting that “the tranquil deliberations and voluntary consent of so many distinct communities, from which the event has resulted, cannot be compared with the means by which most governments have been established.”
Jefferson was the third U.S. president, and the first whose rise was regarded by opponents as a kind of emergency. The 1800 election won by Jefferson marked the beginning of competing political parties — Jefferson was a leader of the Democratic-Republican Party, losing incumbent John Adams a Federalist — and critics regarded the new president as a dangerous atheist. “JEFFERSON — AND NO GOD!!!” was how one Federalist paper described Jefferson’s candidacy. Adams did not attend the inauguration, a breach rarely repeated although Trump has vowed to do the same.
“Let us then, fellow citizens, unite with one heart and one mind,” Jefferson urged in his address. “We are all republicans: we are all federalists. If there be any among us who would wish to dissolve this union, or to change its republican form, let them stand undisturbed as monuments of the safety with which error of opinion may be tolerated, where reason is left free to combat it.”
Supreme Court Chief Justice John Marshall, a Federalist who administered the oath of office to Jefferson, wrote later that the speech was “in the general well judged and conciliatory.”
Lincoln’s pleas were more dire, and tragically unmet, despite what historian Ted Widmer calls his “genius to combine urgency with literary grace.” Seven out of 11 future Confederate states had seceded from the U.S. before he spoke, in March 1861, over fears he would end slavery. The Civil War would begin a month later. “We are not enemies, but friends,” Lincoln had insisted, reminding fellow Americans of their “mystic chords of memory” while also warning that resistance to the will of voters would destroy democracy.
“A majority held in restraint by constitutional checks and limitations, and always changing easily with deliberate changes of popular opinions and sentiments, is the only true sovereign of a free people. Whoever rejects it does of necessity fly to anarchy or to despotism,” he said.
Historian David Greenberg, whose books include “Nixon’s Shadow” and “Republic of Spin,” cites Richard Nixon’s inaugural in 1969 as another speech given at a time of social turmoil. The U.S. was violently divided over the Vietnam War and civil rights, and Nixon himself had long been seen as an unprincipled politician exploiting fears and resentments — appealing to what he would call “the silent majority.” His speech at times was openly and awkwardly modeled on the 1961 inaugural of John F. Kennedy, who had defeated Nixon in 1960.
“We are caught in war, wanting peace. We are torn by division, wanting unity,” Nixon stated. “We cannot learn from one another until we stop shouting at one another — until we speak quietly enough so that our words can be heard as well as our voices.”
Some presidents asked for unity, others asserted it.
Franklin Roosevelt, elected in a landslide in 1932 during the Great Depression, said in his first inaugural speech: “If I read the temper of our people correctly, we now realize as we have never realized before our interdependence on each other.” Four years later, having won by an even greater landslide, he declared the country had “recognized” a need beyond financial help, a “deeper” need, “to find through government the instrument of our united purpose.”
Unity can prove more imagined than real. When James Buchanan spoke in 1857, three years before the Civil War, he claimed that “all agree that under the Constitution slavery in the states is beyond the reach of any human power except that of the respective states themselves wherein it exists.” Rutherford B. Hayes, whose presidency was marked by the retrenchment of federal troops from the post-Civil War South and ongoing resistance from Southern whites to equal rights for Blacks, declared during his 1877 inaugural that true peace could be achieved through the “united and harmonious efforts of both races” and the honest work of local self-government.
“A president often claims the country is ‘united’ behind a belief when it’s more wishful thinking than reality,” Widmer says. “I’m not sure how many Americans wanted to do something for their country after JFK asked them to — although there were impressive new kinds of volunteers, like the Peace Corps. And I think that many Americans still appreciated help from the government, even after Ronald Reagan declared that ‘government is the problem.’ “
So let’s have it. . .
what’s your speech
what are you going to say to
unify
validate
inspire
motivate
guide
What will you Legislate in your Personal Constitution:
What will you Amend into Law
Before you BRING HOPE
who will you look to
GET HOPE. . .
NOW THAT’S AN INAUGURAL STATEMENT
let it begin in the very Soul of
US
and beat from the very Heart of
US
BOO-HOO
T I S S U E. . . ?
boo-hoo
bü-ˈhü , ˈbü-ˌhü \variants: or boohooor less commonly boo hooboo-hooed or boohooed; boo-hooing or boohooing
Definition of boo-hoo
intransitive verb: to weep loudly and with sobs … even the impeccable Lord Jeffrey, editor of the Edinburgh Review, confessed to having cried—blubbered, boohooed, snuffled, and sighed—over the death of Little Nell in The Old Curiosity Shop.— Tom WolfeJoey kept boo-hooing like a real idiot.— Christopher Paul Curtis—often used as an interjection especially in mocking imitation of another’s tears, complaints, unhappiness, etc.Before she finished her question, one twin and then the other began to cry. “Boohoo, boohoo,” Ernie mocked. “I’m not staying with crybabies.”— Nancy Smiler LevinsonHe said as long as I was being so pure, why not give her the real scoop on her old man? I said because it would crush her. Boo hoo, he said.— George Saunders
Other Words from boo-hoo
boo-hooor boohoonoun, plural boo-hoos or boohoos … the tough Garden crowd reacted with boos instead of boo-hoos. — Richard Johnsonboo-hooingor boohooingnoun “Woman: cease this detestable boohooing instantly; or else seek the shelter of some other place of worship.” — George Bernard Shaw No one feels good after being dumped. The loudest boo-hooing seems to be coming from young people … — Jane Bryant Quinn
Uhhhhhh. . .Maybe this is a better graphic definition of
BOO-HOO-ING. . .
what Ben Rothlisberger and all of Steeler Nation
did this past Sunday night when the Cleveland Browns,
decimated with COVID19 breakouts and injuries
severely upset the Steelers. . .
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the Pain
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the Shame
until very early Monday Morning
right after I got to the inpatient hospice unit
where a patient had just died
moments before I encountered his son
in the hallway. . .
My tears were still wet and and now cold and still too salty for any kind of good flavoring from the hours earlier beat down of my favorite team
natural because I was born in bred less than 30 minutes
from Heinz Field
I know, I know, BOO-HOO
The Browns not only beat but embarrassed and eliminated the Steelers on this God-forsaken Sunday night. . .
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh the pain of the grief;
the shame. . .
No matter which way you spin it, it doesn’t make a difference. . .
until the difference
makes all the difference
in a world that values even a smidgen of CARE;
A little after 7:30 on this Monday morning I met a son who’s dad just died just moments before I arrived. And as I was expressing my condolences and letting him know a little bit about how we’re still going to be there for him, because his dad was our patient, but he, his mom and his sister were our concern right now.
He said, “You know what was special for me?” He swallowed hard and tears set on the edge of the BROWNS Face mask he had pulled high up on his nose. “What was special for me is that my dad and I got to watch one of the greatest Browns football games ever; that we had a moment that nobody can ever take away from us.” He wiped his eyes as he paused and then continued, “And they not only one the first playoff game in decades, but they beat the Freaking Pittsburgh Steelers in Pittsburgh. Man, what a great night.”
And as we talked about all the dark clouds that have forever seemed to overshadow the city of Cleveland; The Curse and The Fumble, The Drive, he said that this made up for everything.
Erin always tells me (usually when the Steelers get beat) “IT’S JUST A GAME!” and I always tell her
until it isn’t. . .
as I go sulking away into the dark night of my soul. . .
B U T
In that encounter
At that Moment
I had with that man
(who’s name I never knew)
who was now crying in front of me
not because his dad had just died
or because he was grieving his father
and not because he had just had a moment
and not just a special moment
but the defining moment
of his and his dad‘s life
not the end of his life
but really
the continuing of both of their lives
interwoven together with the golden thread
of that one single moment
and that he was a part of that
and he didn’t miss it
and how sacredly hallowed it was. . .
I guess some tears are more salty than others
Some tears are just to warm and wet
to be soaked up in the best of towels
In fact
there are some tears
that literally inspire other tears
that are way less salty, too. . .
The only thing that makes a moment better
than the moment
is sharing it with somebody
so they can have
a some kind of a moment, too
and for this humble Caring Catalyst
I’m more of a grateful
recipient
than a
deflated fan
BOO-HOO
. . .I think not
THE MORAL OF THE STORY
Sometimes. . .
there’s no need for the
Moral of the Story
Sometimes. . .
we are the
MORAL OF THE STORY
which is. . .
________________________________________________________________________
(GO AHEAD, FILL IN THE BLANK)
Sometimes. . .
it really is this simple:
OR
(even more simply):
(that is all)
A I M I N G
WE ALL WANT IT. . .
A CRYSTAL BALL
that’ll not only predict the
F U T U R E
but INSURE IT
which brings us to a
NEW YEAR
which brings us to a
HOST OF GOALS. . .
So Spill:
WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS FOR 2021
and maybe more importantly:
HOW DO YOU AIM IN KEEPING THEM. . . ?
It reminds me of the classic story of a guy who bragged of all of the bullseyes he could guarantee any time, any place and when it came to
PUT UP/SHUT UP TIME
He would shoot his bow and arrow
F I R S T
and then draw a bullseye around his arrow
backing up his infamous guarantee
. . .uhhhhhhhhhhh
just not quite the way we
DRAW THEM UP. . .
So just what are your goals for 2021
and maybe more importantly:
HOW DO YOU AIM IN KEEPING THEM. . .
SO. . .How Do You Set Goals You’ll Actually Achieve
Getty ImagesBY AMANDA LOUDIN JANUARY 4, 2021 8:55 AM EST
Journalist, Amanda Loudin recently shared in TIME MAGAZINE that whether you want to run a marathon, eat more healthfully or just get off the couch a little more, “for the majority of people, setting a goal is one of the most useful behavior change mechanisms for enhancing performance,” says Frank Smoll, professor of psychology at the University of Washington. “It’s highly individual,” he says—there’s no one way to achieve a goal. But these goal-setting strategies will help you stay the course.
Pick a specific, realistic goal
People often start setting goals with a little too much gusto, trying to overhaul many aspects of their life at once. But that can quickly become overwhelming and backfire. “It’s better to have a systematic approach and identify the one or two that are the most important,” Smoll says.
Making your goal specific can help you follow through on it; research suggests that narrowly defining a goal helps you clarify the tasks necessary for reaching it. “You should define your goal discretely enough to measure and use it effectively,” Smoll says.
It should also be realistic, says Zander Fryer, founder of the coaching company High Impact Coaching. He’s a fan of the Goldilocks-sized goal. “If it’s too big, it will scare you off; too small, and it won’t motivate you,” he says. “Each individual must figure out the goal that gets them moving.” To stay accountable, give yourself a timeline that you can achieve, recommends Fryer. “That will motivate you to take action.”
Create a plan of attack
Whenever you set one goal, you should actually set two: a process goal and product goal, Smoll says. Aiming for a 4.0 grade-point average would be a product goal: the ultimate objective. A process goal would outline the steps it takes to get there. While the product goal gets all the attention, the process goal is equally vital.
Write down a plan for how you’ll go about achieving your end goal, identifying specific strategies. If a hockey player wants to get 5% faster, for instance, “a productive achievement strategy could include skating additional 10 sprints after practice each day,” Smoll says.
Jason Bahamundi, who has completed eight Ironman races and 30 ultramarathons, sets a process goal before every race. “I think a lot about the training, the timing and the cost of what I’m undertaking,” he says. “If I can think about the challenge and then work backwards, I’m successful.”
Be accountable to yourself and others
Setting the goal is the fun part. Sticking to it is tougher. “You will hit barriers and fears,” Fryer says, so accountability is important, especially at the beginning. “Having a mentor, a partner or social accountability will help when you reach a sticking point.”
Fryer recommends choosing someone who you don’t want to disappoint, paying for a mentor or accountability partner or finding someone with similar objectives through a professional or social media group. This person can help by defining clear expectations, focusing on performance and monitoring progress.
Honing your patience will be helpful as well. “Remind yourself that achieving a goal takes persistence, drive and resilience,” Fryer says. “Set your expectations that it will be harder and take longer than you expect.”
That means recognizing when you might need to stop and catch your breath. Bahamundi knows how to guard against mental fatigue by building breaks into his process, particularly when he’s preparing for long events. “I train hard for three weeks at a time and then take a full recovery week,” he says. Cycling through work and rest can help you avoid burnout in any endeavor, whether you’re aiming to lose weight, improve a relationship or launch a big career change.
Find joy in the process
Savoring how it feels to chase your goal is useful for maintaining motivation long term, says Brad Stulberg, a performance coach and co-founder of the Growth Equation. “Most people cycle through three stages: the grind of putting your head down and doing the work, anger and fear of failure, and enjoyment,” he says. But finding joy in showing up for the work is essential throughout the whole process and shouldn’t be left for the end. “Before you take on a goal, visualize the process and how it makes you feel,” Stulberg says. “If you become tight and constricted, it’s probably not the right goal or time. If you feel open and curious, that’s a good sign.”
The process won’t uplift you all the time, so it’s important to mark the little achievements en route to the big prize. “As you make progress along the way, celebrate each of the smaller steps,” says Smoll. “I like the saying ‘Yard by yard is hard, but inch by inch, it’s a cinch.’ Self validation is very motivating.”
When you do reach the finish line, you might just find that the process—not the product—was the real prize. “I know that every day I’m out there working is putting me in a better position to be successful on race day,” Bahamundi says. “The race is my celebratory lap for all the hard work I’ve put in.”
So just what are your goals for 2021
and maybe more importantly:
HOW DO YOU AIM IN KEEPING THEM. . . ?
By drawing Bullseyes all over the place
BEFORE TAKING AIM
AND SHOOTING YOUR ARROWS
BEFORE YOU DRAW
O R
are you gonna scrap your
PLAN A
and go with the multiple
PLAN B’s
that always seem to be the most
readily available
(just not the popular choosing/doing/getting WHAT WE’VE AIMED FOR)
Playing out the hand we’re dealt while searching for the missing
PIECE OF OUR PUZZLE
is a Candle Snuffer
to any new 2021
GOAL/DREAM
we could venture. . .
B U T
How about this. . .
if you wanna set a goal
set a dream
that you can achieve
that will never FAIL
that you set 100%
every day
and every day will set and achieve IT
S E T
THIS ONE:
I will be a better person today than I was yesterday with just one kind act!
Just one not 101 not 1001
just one
Even if it’s the same one that you did yesterday
. . .Just one kind act
My goal
My Dream
MY AIM
(a guaranteed Bullseye)
is just to be a better person
than I was yesterday. . .
And not only will that make for a better person
not only will that make for a better community
not only will that make a better world
it will make for a better
achievable
measurable
y o u
guaranteed
no fail. . .
BET IT!
Putting the NEW in new year
This video by J J Heller makes
It a fair question. . .
especially since 2021 is just barely
under a 100 hours old:
WHAT MAKES FOR A HAPPY NEW YEAR?
Wealth
Health
Fitness
Weight
Possessions
Relationships
Vaccines
Scientific Discoveries
Medical Advances
Bank Accounts
Books
Music
Movies
YOUR FILL IN THE ____________________WISH
W H A T ?
There’s a reason why the
Windshield
is so very much bigger
than the rear view mirror;
G A W K
unblinkingly
at what lies before you
with only a quick glance
at what’s already behind you
. . .good advice for a New Year;
better advice for what ails you
(and it cuts down tremendously on collisions)
So make sure when you look back
to see ahead
your eyes aren’t covered
and you don’t blink. . .
Do you want to know the secret for having a successfully awesome
2 0 2 1
. . .it’s no different than the success
of any other years:
DO MORE FOR OTHERS
THAN YOU DO FOR YOURSELF
. . .GUARANTEE:
Making others Happy
will bring you unspeakable joy
. . .It’s like taking someone out to dinner:
YOU GET FED, too
Hey, don’t take my words for it:
You’ve got
8 6 6 4
hours to prove it beginning
NOW
Put the NEW
in a New Year
(You are that Powerful)
LOOKING BACK (to see ahead)
WHAT A YEAR
is a huge understatement, huh. . . ?
B U T
this is THAT time
when we all look back
TO SEE AHEAD. . .
OR WAS IT. . . ?
Sometimes are most painful experiences
turn out to be our greatest lessons
L I K E :
The Top 10 Insights from the “Science of a Meaningful Life” in 2020 from The Greater Good Staff
Their team names the most provocative and influential findings published during this past year.
In 2020, the study of well-being took on new meaning. The COVID-19 pandemic created a mental health crisis that is affecting people in all corners of the globe. In the United States, Americans have faced intense political polarization and a reckoning around racial justice. Many of us are left wondering how we can move forward toward a better future.
As the year rolled on, some well-being researchers were quick to turn their lens on the pandemic itself, tracking how people were doing and testing ways to help us cope better. Others continued to study how we can connect, bridge our differences, and build more just communities.
This year’s top insights speak to the moment, from concrete tips about how to bond with a friend to broader truths about how societies respond to diversity over time. All of them point toward strengths and solutions amid isolation, illness, and conflict. The final insights were selected by experts on our staff, after soliciting nominations from our network of more than 300 researchers. We hope they remind you how we’re all connected—and perhaps bring you a little bit of hope.
Rich and varied experiences may be an overlooked key to a good life
When we strive for a good life, what are we actually seeking?
“Happiness” is the simple answer for many people. In general, we want to feel satisfied with life, and experience more pleasantness than unpleasantness. We also strive for meaning and purpose—the sense that we matter, belong, and are engaged in service to something beyond ourselves.
Until now, psychological science has been focused on these three dimensions of well-being, which are technically called “evaluative” (satisfaction with our lives), “hedonic” (positive and negative feelings), and “eudaimonic” (meaning in life).
Now, researchers led by the University of Virginia’s Shigehiro Oishi have proposed another dimension of well-being that has not been carefully studied yet: psychological richness.
Psychological richness involves having new, interesting experiences that promote curiosity or transform how you think. People with psychologically rich lives experience more intense emotions—positive and negative—and are more open to novelty and uncertainty. They might choose to live abroad, seek awe in nature, or explore complex intellectual problems. In contrast, the researchers suggest, happy or meaningful lives can be more routine, and possibly even boring.
In their paper, published in Affective Science, the researchers asked people from nine countries to journal freely about their ideal life. Then, the researchers asked them to analyze it: How happy, meaningful, or psychologically rich was it? The ideal life they envisioned tended to be very happy and meaningful, but also moderately eventful, interesting, and surprising—in other words, psychologically rich.
When people were forced to choose between the three types of ideal lives, most chose a happy or meaningful life—but 7-17% of people chose a psychologically rich life.
To get another window into people’s greatest aspirations for their life, the researchers surveyed people from the United States and Korea about their biggest regret. Here, 28% of Americans and 35% of Koreans said their lives would be psychologically richer (rather than happier or more meaningful) if they could undo this regret, suggesting that psychological richness is a dominant life goal for them.
These studies offer clues about a key value we hold that may not be captured by common conceptions of happiness or meaning—it has more to do with adventurous and thrilling experiences. “Taking the psychologically rich life seriously will deepen, broaden, and, yes, enrichen our understanding of well-being,” the researchers write.
If you want to connect with someone, call rather than text
As the pandemic isolates us from loved ones, many of us are trying to stay connected through texting, email, and social media, even taking the opportunity to reconnect with long-lost friends.
But if our goal is to feel closer to people and enjoy our conversations more, we’re best off picking up the phone, according to a new studypublished in the Journal of Experimental Psychology. There seems to be something special about hearing another’s voice that makes for more satisfying social interactions.
In the study, participants imagined having a conversation with a friend they hadn’t been in touch with for at least two years and made predictions about how it would feel to connect by phone versus email.
After being randomly assigned to connect with their old friend via phone or email, they reported back on the experience. Though most people thought talking by phone would be more uncomfortable, those who spoke on the phone were happier with the exchange, felt closer to the other person, and felt no more uncomfortable than those who’d emailed—even if they had preferred to email.
“We think it’s going to be awkward to talk to somebody, but that just turns out not to be the case,” says lead author Amit Kumar. “Instead . . . people form significantly stronger bonds when they’re talking on the phone than when communicating over email.”
The same result held true when the researchers had participants do a conversation exercise with strangers using either video chatting, audio-only chatting, or text-chatting. People who used media that included the voice had more satisfying exchanges and felt closer to their new acquaintance than the text-chatters.
Why? Likely it’s because our voices communicate a wide range of emotions, helping others to read us better and to feel like they really know us. Hearing someone’s voice enhances our empathy for them, too—in some cases, even more than video chatting.
So, while texting can be useful, it’s not the best way to get the most out of socializing. If we’re looking for greater happiness and connection, we should give someone a call.
Acting like an extravert can make you happier
Forty years of research has found that introverts tend to experience less frequent positive emotions than extraverts. Does that mean they’re doomed to be less happy than their bubbly, loquacious counterparts?
Not necessarily. In fact, a paper in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General suggests that anyone can experience some of the benefits of being an extravert. All you have to do is act like one.
Researchers Seth Margolis and Sonja Lyubomirsky asked 131 undergraduate students, mostly Asian and Latino, to spend one week behaving like an extravert and one week behaving like an introvert (or vice versa). Acting like an extravert meant being talkative, assertive, and spontaneous, while acting like an introvert meant being deliberate, quiet, and reserved.
Based on surveys the students completed every few days, they experienced more positive emotions and felt more connected to others, competent, autonomous, and in “flow” during the extravert week compared to the introvert week.
This was true of both introverts and extraverts alike (although in the one previous studywhere people acted extraverted for a week, introverts didn’t benefit as much). The relationship was even stronger for people who wanted to be more extraverted, and for Latino students—perhaps, the researchers speculate, because extraversion is valued more in their culture.
As an introvert, you might object to the implication that to be happier, you shouldn’t be yourself. But the researchers take a more flexible view of personality and behavior than that. Research suggests that our personality can change over time, and how introverted or extraverted we act can vary week to week. Although introverts usually don’t believeacting extraverted will make them happier, it usually does.
At the very least, it can be something to experiment with—the same way you might try gratitude journaling even though you aren’t naturally very grateful. You don’t have to be the life of the party or spend all your free time on Zoom; you just have to try expressing yourself and engaging more with others.
After all, many extraverted behaviors involve connection—and research suggests that relationships are one of the most fundamental keys to happiness.
Cooperating with each other may encourage kids to work harder
It’s a message many kids get from the time they’re young: If they want to succeed in life, they need to look out for themselves.
But in January, a study published in Psychological Science challenged that conventional wisdom, suggesting that kids are more likely to achieve a goal if they know that someone else is relying on them.
In the study, researchers had two five- or six-year-old children meet and do a shared task before separating them into different rooms. Then, before leaving the room, the researcher left a cookie in front of each child and told them they’d get two cookies if they could resist eating the first one. In some cases, the children were told that they andthe other child both needed to resist the cookie to get the bigger reward.
The researchers found that kids who were cooperating to earn the reward were able to resist longer than those who only had to think about themselves—even though counting on another child meant less chance for reward.
“In situations where individuals mutually rely on one another, they may be more willing to work harder in all kinds of social domains,” says Sebastian Grueneisen, a coauthor of the study.
Interestingly, the kids in this study came from two very distinct cultures—the Western democracy of Germany and a small farming community in Kenya—with different values around independence and interdependence. This suggests that cooperation may be universally motivating when it comes to delaying personal gratification.
Given that resisting temptation is a vital skill across so many situations in life—from persevering at school to avoiding addictions—these findings suggest we should encourage kids to work together cooperatively more, for the benefit of all.
For a more empathic world, we need to choose empathy
Most of us think about empathy as an automatic response, like a parachute that deploys when we see someone in distress. Or we think of it as a skill, something we can hone by practicing perspective taking or deep listening.
But a new study suggests a missing piece of the empathy puzzle: motivation. Even when we have the ability to feel others’ pain or understand their perspective, we’re more likely to exercise it when we have a strong desire to do so.
This finding is especially relevant today amid all the social and political divides in the U.S. In addition to teaching people skills to bridge differences, this research suggests we also need to boost their motivation to empathize in the first place—and it points to a few ways to do so.
Harvard University social psychologist Erika Weisz and her team instructed college freshmen to write letters to struggling high school students about how empathy was in the high-schoolers’ best interest—that it would help them connect with others, for instance. This activity was designed to boost the letter-writers’ own motivation to empathize, Weisz explains. “When we ask a participant to endorse a statement to another person, they tend to endorse those beliefs themselves.”
After they wrote the letters, the students seemed to get better at reading other people’s emotions. Up to two months later, they showed higher accuracy when asked to describe what people in a video were feeling, compared to a control group who wrote letters unrelated to empathy. Some also reported making more close friends at college, possibly due to their empathic savvy.
Along the same lines, a University of Toronto study this year reiterated the finding that our empathy depends on our motivation and explored other ways to boost our identification with people.
Results like these suggest that we can encourage empathy by focusing on the rewards it offers. “A lot of people think of empathy as a static trait,” Weisz says. “Targeting motivations imparts lasting changes.”
Witnessing gratitude and kindness helps bond people together
Gratitude is a premier emotion for bonding two people together. It creates a warm feeling of trust, encouraging more closeness and care.
But a study published this year in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that these effects extend beyond the people involved in an exchange of thanks—all the way to people who only observe expressions of gratitude.
In the study, Sara Algoe and her colleagues ran a series of experiments. Sometimes, participants saw written notes of thanks for a kindness done; other times, they watched a video of someone voicing how grateful they were for another person’s kindness and fine qualities.
In both cases, when people observed these expressions of gratitude, they were drawn to befriend the grateful person and the recipient of the gratitude, and they wanted to help them out, too. This suggests that gratitude can encourage ripple effects of positive social connection within communities.
“A whole group of people could be inspired to be kinder to one another,” says Algoe, “and through this interwoven kindness, the group itself could become a higher-functioning group.”
And witnessing kindness can have a similar effect, according to another study published this year in Psychological Bulletin.
In the study, Haesung Jung and her colleagues analyzed decades of experimental studies. The researchers found that being a bystander to kindness—whether we read about it or see it happen in front of us—makes us act kindly ourselves, even toward people not involved in the act of kindness.
“People resonate when they watch someone do something good,” says Jung. “The message that these prosocial behaviors are quite contagious is a really important message that people should know.”
Both studies suggest we should all try expressing more gratitude and being kinder to one another. Doing so has more far-reaching effects than we may have realized, helping to spread goodness and build greater social cohesion in our communities.
To get people to follow COVID guidelines, appeal to their care for others
The world is facing another surge in COVID-19 cases and related deaths. To effectively stop it requires more people to adhere to public health guidelines, including wearing masks and keeping physically distant—at least until a vaccine is widely available.
But how do we get people to comply with these measures? While it might seem that people would be most motivated to protect their own health, research suggests that isn’t necessarily the case. Instead, messages that appeal to our concern for others may be more effective.
In one study published this year, Harvard researcher Jillian Jordan and her colleagues compared how a large group of Americans responded to different public health announcements during the early months of the pandemic. She found that messages focusing on the need to protect others were more likely to inspire compliance with health measures than those focused on the need to protect oneself—a finding that resonates with prior studies.
“While people do care a great deal about themselves and are self-interested, people also care a lot about other people, and those social motivations are a big part of our behavior,” says Jordan.
Indeed, a study conducted in Sweden concluded that people who were more “prosocial” (kind and helpful, measured two years before the pandemic hit) were more likely than less prosocial people to follow distancing guidelines, stay home if sick, and buy face masks during early 2020.
Many other social factors drive us to follow health safety guidelines, too—including the compliance of those around you (social norms) and your social identity (especially your political identity—in the United States, at least). But our instinct for altruism is strong, if it’s tapped. That’s especially true when the outcome of our actions is uncertain but could hurt other people’s well-being.
That’s why many scientists are recommending that leaders always mention the importance of protecting others whenever they ask people to wear a mask, keep their distance from others, or take other precautions to prevent the spread of COVID. Doing so could encourage more people to take those steps—and help end the pandemic sooner for everyone.
We might care more about inequality if we question our underlying assumptions about poverty
Why in the world would anyone be for economic inequality, given how harmful it is to individuals and societies?
According to a new paper published this year in Nature Human Behavior, it comes down to “people’s judgments about why the poor are poor”—and the belief that inequality accurately reflects how hard individuals work.
First, Paul Piff and his colleagues surveyed people from 34 countries about whether they attributed poverty to unfairness in society (situational causes) or to laziness or lack of willpower (dispositional causes).
As the researchers expected, people who thought of the poor as lazy believed they deserved to be poor—and that the rich deserved to be rich, because they were so hard-working. According to another survey of Americans, the researchers found that situational and dispositional causes were not mutually exclusive in people’s minds. In other words, people could believe in both—and other research, cited in the paper, suggests that they’re often not even aware that they have these assumptions about poverty.
Next, the researchers conducted three experiments to see if they could stimulate people’s awareness about their own attributions and how that awareness could, in turn, affect their behavior. In the first experiment, they asked a geographically diverse group of about 1,000 American adults to simply write about people who are poor—or to write about why some people might not deserve to be poor. Primed to think about poverty and its causes, participants had the option to donate all, some, or none of their winnings in a raffle to a minimum-wage campaign.
Indeed, those who had been invited to think about the situational causes of poverty—such as racism, lack of education, or childhood trauma—were more likely to make the donation, and to express support for measures against inequality.
Taken together, the studies suggest that people can shift toward looking at poverty less as a failure of will and more as the result of social forces—but they need to be made aware of those forces through education and they need the opportunity to reflect on their own assumptions.
Social justice and individual happiness go hand in hand
This year, millions of people around the world took to the streets to protest the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and other Black Americans. One of the most striking things about the protests was the diversity of who participated in them: They engaged people young and old, of all different races and ethnicities, in large cities and small towns. More people than ever seemed to feel that the movement was relevant to them, even if they themselves hadn’t been the victim of racial injustice.
A study published in early July, around the time that the protests were at their peak, suggests that they’re right, in ways that they may not have fully realized. For while it’s clear that a society should value social justice for its own sake, the study suggests that everyone benefits when societies are fairer. It turns out that countries with the highest levels of social justice have the happiest citizens, too.
In the study, published in the Journal of Community Psychology, researchers Salvatore Di Martino and Isaac Prilleltensky looked at social justice levels in 28 European countries. Indicators of social justice included equity around education and health care for ethnic minorities and the poor, non-discrimination policies, gender representation in government, and more.
The researchers then compared that data to how satisfied Europeans were with their lives, based on interviews with nearly 170,000 individuals. After ruling out other factors that might influence happiness—like age, gender, occupation, or a country’s gross national product—they found that living in a more socially just society was the second most important contributor to individual happiness. It only lagged in importance behind social capital—the strength of people’s relationships, trust in institutions, and civic engagement.
“Social relations are important for people’s happiness—one of the most important things,” says Di Martino. “But people should also realize that the conditions surrounding them—like living in a place that gives them opportunities or resources—are also very important.”
Building upon other research showing the importance of good governance and the role of social equity in personal happiness—even for the well off—this study bolsters the case that social equality matters to us all.
Living in diverse communities may reduce stereotypes—and improve well-being
More people around the world are living with more diversity than ever before, thanks to immigration and globalization. In a new paperpublished in June in PNAS, psychologists Xuechunzi Bai, Miguel R. Ramos, and Susan T. Fiske provide us with a hopeful message about the long-term prospects of diversity.
Their question: How does experiencing ethnic diversity change the stereotypes people hold? To find out, they ran a series of studies across over 12,000 people in 47 countries, including all 50 U.S. states. Across the board, they found that people in more homogeneous areas were much more likely to harbor stereotypes about people different from them, seeing them as less warm and competent. On the other hand, they write:
Countries and U.S. states with higher levels of ethnic diversity (e.g., South Africa and Hawaii, versus South Korea and Vermont), online individuals who perceive more ethnic diversity, and students who moved to more ethnically diverse colleges mentally represent ethnic groups as more similar to each other.
The paper highlights another bonus that comes with the decline in stereotypes: greater well-being. In the studies of Americans and students, they found that people in diverse communities both held fewer stereotypes and reported being more satisfied with their lives.
Why? That’s hard to say. There is some research that finds that diversity stresses us out if we don’t feel it’s a good thing. The researchers speculate that experiencing diversity also just broadens our horizons. A study from last year, for example, found that religious diversity provokes more conflict in the short run—but over time, people get used to the differences and learn to live with each other.
As ever, we need more research. But in the meantime, we can take hope from the implications of their result: “Individuals have in them the potential to embrace diversity—[which] should encourage societies to intervene against potential barriers to a peaceful coexistence.”
I Know. . .I KNOW
that’s a whole lot to take in
and try to digest
which is why looking back
TO SEE AHEAD
takes not so much special lenses
or even good vision
as a willingness
TO SEE
and
TO LOOK
honestly at where you’ve been
to even begin to understand where you’re going. . .
THE TAKE AWAY:
IT IS ALL A JOURNEY
and looking back
to walk forward
are the only
S T E P S
worth taking
(and the only ones most meaningful)
MOVIED OUT
CUTE AS A BUTTON
and all of the other
sappy stuff
that comes with
CHRISTMAS MOVIES
that has us reaching for the box of tissues
and wiping our eyes
before we remote control
ourselves to the next one
that’ll do the same thing all over again
(but only better)
Just what exactly
LIGHTS UP YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE. . . ?
Sure, Netflix Christmas Movies Are Often Patently Absurd; They’re Also Occasionally Perfect
It’s official: our brains are fried. The holiday season is stressful enough in normal times. But this year, what we wouldn’t give to have that normal level of present-buying, cookie-baking, tree-decorating stress, instead of all this 2020-specific heartache, anxiety and exhaustion. It’s enough to make you want to line up a bunch of Netflix Christmas movies and gaze upon them, one after another, with reckless disregard for alleged quality or degree of believability. In fact, the less realistic, the better. A Chicago cupcake baker—who bears an uncanny resemblance to the duchess of a phony European nation—falling in love with a prince? Calgon, take me away, Right?
By no means does Netflix have a monopoly on the brain-candy Christmas movie; these have been Lifetime and Hallmark Channel staples for years, and it’s likely that even people you’d never suspect harbor a secret favorite or two. (Hallmark’s The Nine Lives of Christmas, from 2014, involves cats and a fireman played by Brandon Routh. Probably only about eight people have seen that one.) But Netflix, in addition to flooding the market with original movies, makes it numbingly simple to watch one of these films after another, with barely a flick at your trackpad. You can stack up Holidate (an unsentimental Emma Roberts lines up Australian hottie Luke Bracey as a boyfriend for holidays only), Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (a lively, if overlong, musical fantasy about an eccentric toy inventor played by Forrest Whitaker) and The Princess Switch: Switched Again—a sequel to the 2018 sensation featuring Vanessa Hudgens as the aforementioned duchess-doppelganger baker—all without having to leave the bathtub, unless you need to refill your wine glass. Once you’ve jetted through those, you can shimmy over to Alien Xmas, The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two, or any number of Christmas-themed offerings from earlier years. You could always just watch A Christmas Prince—or either of its two sequels—again.
I know what you’re going to ask next: Aren’t these movies bad? Shouldn’t I be embarrassed about watching them? The answer to the second question is NO, because how we respond emotionally to visual information is not an arena for shame or judgment. Does that mean that there are more beautifully made and wonderfully acted Christmas movies beyond these? Of course. Check out Jimmy Stewart in Ernst Lubitsch’s 1940 Shop Around the Corner—for my money the most beautiful, bittersweet holiday romance—for the lot of them.
It is possible to give yourself over to a movie even when it’s written in lingo you’ve seen many times before—to note how pretty a castle looks when it’s surrounded by snowy trees, to admire a fairy-tale character’s colorful wool coat, to succumb to the unsurprising surprise of two allegedly mismatched characters bumping into each other beneath the mistletoe—without scolding yourself for what gives you pleasure. The line between a cliché and a cherished convention is often so slim it’s almost undetectable.
So what awaits you in the Christmas 2020 Netflix queue? Holidate works too hard at being raunchy, but you may happen to have a soft spot for Emma Roberts and her resolute eyebrows. Plus, you’ve got Luke Bracey as a ridiculously good-looking manly-man golf pro with a surprisingly sensitive side. You may as well be eating ice cream right out of the carton. Jingle Jangle—a holiday fantasy aimed at kids, but not bad for adults—is quietly radical in its mostly Black cast. It’s a switch from the norm that underscores how misguided those norms are in the first place. Plus, the costumes (by Michael Wilkinson) are a delight, a riot of Victorian and steampunk silhouettes rendered in traditional Kente cloth and African wax prints.Madalen Mills as Journey Jangle and Forest Whitaker as Jeronicus Jangle in ‘Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey’ Gareth Gatrell/NETFLIX
But for pure candy-box escapism, the prize goes to The Princess Switch movies, with Vanessa Hudgens playing at least two different versions of Vanessa Hudgens. In the first Princess Switch, she’s the perky Chicago baker, Stacy De Novo, who, while attending a baking competition in the picturesquely phony European nation of Belgravia, discovers that she’s a dead ringer for svelte and elegant Lady Margaret, a royal denizen of the nearby and equally phony European nation known as Montenaro. Lady Margaret is engaged to be married to the Prince of Belgravia, the kind but seemingly bland Edward (Sam Palladio). Unfortunately, she’s just not that into him. Meanwhile, Stacy’s best friend and business partner, the totally hot and adorable Kevin (Nick Sagar), has a crush on her that’s been unrequited for years; Stacy loves Kevin platonically, but doesn’t feel any sparks. Margaret, bound by her royal duties, longs for more spontaneity; Stacy wouldn’t mind being a fancy royal for a day or so. And so the two switch identities, only to discover that one woman’s rejected beau is the other’s dream match. The movie ends with one royal wedding and a hint at a future engagement. Everybody goes home happy.
In The Princess Switch: Switched Again, Lady Margaret is about to be crowned Queen of Montenaro. Sadly, her acquiescence to royal duty has broken up her romance with Kevin (though you know that’s not going to stick). Enter Margaret’s bad gal cousin Fiona (played by—surprise!—Hudgens again), a party girl with a peroxide tumble of tresses, who favors tacky clubwear and faux furs in tones not found in nature. Fiona hatches a scheme to impersonate Margaret and thus become Montenaro’s monarch. Chaos ensues, though romance prevails.Vanessa Hudgens and Vanessa Hudgens in ‘The Princess Switched: Switched Again’ Netflix
If nothing else, how can you not love the idea of fictional countries with names that sound borrowed from 1960s sportswear companies? The Princess Switchand its followup are so indefensibly enjoyable they need no defense. Recently, over socially distanced lunch with a friend, I found myself regaling him with a highly animated summary of the first movie’s plot. “Oh. It’s Shakespeare,” he said, between bites of sandwich. (It’s also a device Mark Twain put to use in The Prince and the Pauper.) Stories of swapped identities, of one character being mistaken for another and causing mischief, or falling in love, are nothing new, and they were invented by people with good instincts for what human beings like. Our consistencies unite us across eras.
If you were to break the Princess Switch movies down to their barest elements, they could almost be performance art—big squares, circles and triangles that speak in ways that defy words. These are movies written in flag language, semaphore that can be read clearly from a great distance. Switched Again ends with (spoiler alert), a wedding, a reconciliation and a coronation, all of which tap out a code that our wilted minds receive gratefully. We may think our brains aren’t working, but they are; they’re experts in the art of the busman’s holiday. Love, forgiveness, the beauty of a sparkly gown: These are oversized signals, easy to read and comprehend from a great distance, reaching out to us as we watch from our respective isolated islands, or bathtubs. If they were good enough for the Elizabethans, they’re good enough for us. . .
So let’s have it:
WHAT ARE YOUR GO-TO’S
WHAT ARE YOUR TOP-FIVE-GOTTA-SEE-THEM-AT-CHRISTMAS-MOVIES:
A CHRISTMAS STORY
HOME ALONE
IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE
WHITE CHRISTMAS
CHRISTMAS VACATION
LAST CHRISTMAS
WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING
HOLIDAY
LOVE, ACTUALLY
If there was ever a year
to gush
to be sappy
to go all comedy
to reach far for the box of tissues
2020
is THAT year. . .
so pop some corn
get the fire crackling
turn on the Christmas tree lights
turn off all of the other lights
bundle up with your favorite blanket
and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
e n j o y
(and be the better for it)
ENOUGH
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
It’s really hard to
S H U S H
especially this time of the year
and it’s almost impossible to
KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT
YOUR EYES CLOSED
YOU EARS OPEN
all at once
but
before you listen to this song again
read the lyrics:
I Have Enough By JJ Heller, David Heller, and Taylor Leonhardt
There’s a box up in the attic
Full of treasures from my past
Paper snowmen from a season
Melting into spring too fast
Clay and glitter, wood and glue
May not seem like much to you
It reminds me of
All the ones I love
When I think of them
I think I have enough
We may not live up in the mountains
Like we always wanted to
But this old house shines like a diamond
With Christmas lights hung on the roof
It might not be the life I dreamed
But it’s become my favorite scene
It reminds me of
All the ones I love
When I think of them
I think have enough
Everything I want this Christmas
Doesn’t cost a single thing
Cookies baking in the kitchen
Hearing little voices sing
Tell the story once again
Peace on earth, goodwill to men
It reminds me of
All the ones I love
When I think of them
I think I have enough
It reminds me of
All the ones I love
When I think of them
I think I have enough
. . .AND
just what does three ties have to do with
THAT SONG. . . ?
EVERYTHING!
I’ve had those ties for years
but not for as long as they’ve actually been created. . .
The two on the left
are between 65-70 years old
. . .I inherited from my grandfather
and rarely wear them
because they are fragile
and I don’t want the last time I tie them
to be the last time I tie them. . .
The tie on the far right
is my father-in-law’s
that I inherited shortly after he died
and no one in the family wanted it
. . .none of them
would make the cover of
G Q
but they continue to flutter through the pages
of my mind
in a most gentle
but powerful way
that makes me feel close
to both of these men
ESPECIALLY AT CHRISTMAS
when I realize
much like
J J Heller’s song,
I HAVE ENOUGH
. . .What takes you
T H E R E
what song
what food
what smell
what word
what texture
what piece of clothing
what scene
what feeling
takes you way past
that box in the attic
out of your head
and into your heart
of memories
that makes you feel:
I HAVE ENOUGH
. . .more importantly
what song
what food
what smell
what word
what texture
what piece of clothing,
what scene
what feeling
WILL YOU BE SHARING
that’ll keep you out of some
attic box
past someone’s memory
but burrowed deep
into their heart
and forever
in the delicate
l a c e s
of their
soul
that’ll forever make them feel:
I
H A V E
E N O U G H
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
GIVE THAT
(no receipts or returns necessary)
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 48
- 49
- 50
- 51
- 52
- …
- 84
- Next Page »