The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

THE MEN WHO TAKE ME PLACES

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I have shared some other Ben Rector songs on this blog post before, maybe the most recent was back around Thanksgiving, literally called the THANKSGIVING SONG.         .       .but this one, like so many other YouTube videos found me recently even though it was recorded over 6 years ago, but the message.          .          .THIS MESSAGE
is a truly timeless one that hopefully will allow you to do more than tap your toe or bob your head as you listen way past the message a tune can bring in a lyrical moment.              .           .h o p e f u l l y

It just might remove a few questions about the
WHY’S
HOW COME’S
WHAT FOR’S
in your heart that’ll let it beat a little easier
as you become a better Caring Catalyst 
just by allowing others to make you
S    O

A HOPELESSLY DEVOTED CARING CATALYST

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I was in college and trying to pay my way through as best as I could when of all things my grandmother, Vi got me a job that no one knew the implications.  It was working at a Pipe/Tobacco store where I sold expensive Meerschaum pipes down to ones that look like Popeye would toke on in between downing cans of spinach.

The real behind the scenes stuff was the great stuff.          .          .I would cover for Charlie my boss, who was either out cheating on his wife or playing poker with the boys when his wife would call and he’d look the other way when I took REESES CUPS and SNICKERS for dinner; it was a good deal made better when the Pipe shop would close and I would go a half of a block down the street to his retail store where he sold a host of mostly unnecessary plastic objects and a few vinyl records.  It was there that I sold hundreds of Olivia Newton-John’s records:

I never tagged her as Country-Western but that’s the section Charlie wanted to peg her under and I spent a lot of time hitting the cash register tune of glorious sales for him and her.

THIS is hardly what anyone would remember about Olivia Newton-John after hearing of her death earlier this week.  WHAT IS BEING REMEMBERED AND CELEBRATED is just what a ferocious Caring Catalyst she has always been.  Having been diagnosed with Breast Cancer well over 30 years ago, she never took the “WHY ME?” stance or the “I WILL NEVER DIE” denial position; Olivia made sure that something way past her last song would not just be remembered but used her platform to become an advocate, a Caring Catalyst for all cancers–spending tons of time, energy, and money building research organizations, clinics, and more.

Craig Marshall is a guy I met through National Speakers Association who often tells the story:

There’s still Olivia Newton-John…. When I was a monk, I had an coaching session with a man that told me the saddest story I ever heard. He’d been in a car accident, which killed several of his children. His wife was in a coma for months and then died. He lost his job and his dog died. It was sad beyond words. But when he ended telling me his litany of loss, he paused and looked at me and whist-fully said, “But you know what? There’s still Olivia Newton-John!” Years went by, and I found myself sitting at an outdoor restaurant table in Malibu, designing a book cover with my good friend Fred Segal.

 After discussing some graphic possibilities, Freddie said, “We’re guys. We need some different input,” and he yelled over to two ladies sitting at a nearby table, “Come over here please.” They came over, sat down, and Fred started asking them about what they thought his book cover should look like. After awhile, for whatever, reason, everyone at the table got up and began talking to friends who’d entered the restaurant, leaving me alone with this poised blonde lady with an English/Australian accent. It suddenly hit me, and I said, “Are you Olivia Newton-John?” and she said yes. I told her, “I’m so glad to meet you because I want to share with you a story of a man who lost almost everything in life, but clung to you as his only inspiration.”

 Olivia was always charming, and I ended up hosting several workshops at her home. She was always thoughtful, genuine and just lovely.

 I don’t know why people hope their departing loved ones “rest in peace”. I wish for Olivia great music, great fun, and great friends. Her smile is what I’ll remember. It was so dazzling that she never needed to wink. Like that guy, I also believe that there will always be Olivia Newton-John.

ONE OUT OF ONE OF US DIES
is one of the harshest realities ”
any of us with a pulse
will ever wrestle
B          U          T
there’s something that
goes beyond the Life
we live here
and that’s the
L               I               F               E
and that’s the
E  X  I  S  T  E  N  C  E
we inspire
in others
even make possible
way after we are gone
.          .          .that’s a huge part of what it means to be a Caring Catalyst
to begin in others
what will outlast us and even them
but never goes into extinction
as long as we keep sharing our very Best
for the Best of everyone else.          .          .
Yes, there’s still Olivia Newton-John
a Hopelessly Devoted Caring Catalyst

WE ARE A GENTLE, ANGRY PEOPLE

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There are many different covers of this song but I like this version because it reminds me what we know, what we know we know, what we’d bet our lives that we know but for the LIFE OF US never act like we know.          .           .


WE ARE ALL INSTRUMENTS IN THE SYMPHONY OF THIS UNIVERSE 
and the WE ARE AT OUR BESTS when we not only play in unison and harmony but when we just merely play together.          .          .
WE NEED TO BE THE CHORUS we already long have been and need to be now, UNMUTED, UNDILUTED, PURE, UNADULTERATED, UNFILTERINGLY US.     .     .

The video starts quietly but builds. I love how the singers end the song.  ENJOY!

(My sincerest gratitude and appreciation to GALA Choruses.)

AGE(LESS)

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In the past couple of days I have been reminded
YOUR BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP
and
MAN, YOU’RE GETTING OLD.          .       .
Luckily
I’ve never been much about
(PERSONAL–MY OWN) Birthdays
and even less about
GETTING OLD
albeit I’m not all that crazy
feeling/seeing/experiencing
the many different ways
the body sneakingly
betrays
when
out of nowhere came
T  H  I  S:

“I asked an elderly man once what it was like to be old and to know the majority of his life was behind him. He told me that he has been the same age his entire life. He said the voice inside of his head had never aged. He has always just been the same boy. His mother’s son. He had always wondered when he would grow up and be an old man. He said he watched his body age and his faculties dull but the person he is inside never got tired. Never aged. Never changed.
Our spirits are eternal. Our souls are forever. The next time you encounter an elderly person, look at them and know they are still a child, just as you are still a child and children will always need love, attention and purpose.”

~ Author unknown & Photography by Rita French
A CALENDAR 
WILL NEVER MAKE YOU OLDER
only your
FRAMED IN MIND
can do that.            .            .
One of the greatest things
hospice has taught me
c o n t i n u o u s l y
since I began
waaaaaaay back a few calendar pages ago in
1994
is out of all the things
L I F E
can take from you
as it
e x t r a c t s
from you
EVEN ON A DEATH BED
my love
and my ability to kindly share it
(especially to share IT)
T H I S
is what it means
not to get older
but become more
much more than an
AGE(LESS)
So I’m just not looking forward to having a few more
Birthday Candles lit
but blowing a few more
o    u    t.     .     .

 

CHRISTMAS In July

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I know. . .
I know what you’re thinking
N O W
and every 25th of every month
when I proclaim
(usually with a Christmas scene)
MERRY PRACTICE CHRISTMAS
(usually with how many more days until Christmas)
https://www.xmasclock.com
which usually elicits this resounding response:

But wait. . .
CHRISTMAS IN JULY
wasn’t my idea
so much as me picking up the
dirty-drug-through-the-dust-banner
and making sure it flies
U N F U R L I N G L Y
before you. . .

Werther, an 1892 French opera with libretto by Édouard Blau, Paul Milliet, and Georges Hartmann, had an English translation published in 1894 by Elizabeth Beall Ginty. In the story, a group of children rehearses a Christmas song in July, to which a character responds: “When you sing Christmas in July, you rush the season.” It is a translation of the French: “vous chantez Noël en juillet… c’est s’y prendre à l’avance.”[1] This opera is based on Goethe‘s The Sorrows of Young Werther. Christmas features in the book, but July does not.[2]

In 1935, the National Recreation Association’s journal Recreation described what a Christmas in July was like at a girl’s camp, writing that “all mystery and wonder surround this annual event.”[3]

The term, if not the exact concept, was given national attention with the release of the Hollywood movie comedy Christmas in Julyin 1940, written and directed by Preston Sturges.[4] In the story, a man is fooled into believing he has won $25,000 in an advertising slogan contest. He buys presents for family, friends, and neighbors, and proposes marriage to his girlfriend.[5]

In 1942, the Calvary Baptist Church in Washington, D.C. celebrated Christmas in July with carols and the sermon “Christmas Presents in July”.[6] They repeated it in 1943, with a Christmas tree covered with donations. The pastor explained that the special service was patterned after a program held each summer at his former church in Philadelphia, when the congregation would present Christmas gifts early to give ample time for their distribution to missions worldwide.[7] It became an annual event, and in 1945, the service began to be broadcast over local radio.[8]

The U.S. Post Office and U.S. Army and Navy officials, in conjunction with the American advertising and greeting card industries, threw a Christmas in July luncheon in New York in 1944 to promote an early Christmas mailing campaign for service men overseas during World War II.[9] The luncheon was repeated in 1945.[10]

American advertisers began using Christmas in July themes in print for summertime sales as early as 1950.[11] In the United States, it is more often used as a marketing tool than an actual holiday. Television stations may choose to re-run Christmas specials, and many stores have Christmas in July sales. Some individuals choose to celebrate Christmas in July themselves, typically as an intentionally transparent excuse to have a party. This is in part because most bargainers tend to sell Christmas goods around July to make room for next year’s inventory.[12] (from Wikipedia)
I KNOW. . .
I KNOW,
TOO MUCH INFORMATION, Right. . . ?
It kind of puts the
B L A N K
in the
B L I N K

But so too often
THE MESSAGE
is not always
THE MEANING

WE LIVE IN A SNOW GLOBE’D WORLD
often shaken
often turned upside down
often misdirected
often
U N S E T T L E D
and just when we think we
GET THE MESSAGE
we receive
THE MEANING
so
so
s i l e n t l y
“all is calm, all is bright. . .let heaven and nature sing,
JOY TO THE WORLD

So I don’t know what really
L I G H T S
your tree. . .
but whatever it is
make sure it stays lit in this dark world
and even better. . .
S H A R E D

 

FUNNY BUSINESS

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A few years ago I became a
C L L
.           .           .that’s right,
a real bonafide
CERTIFIED LAUGHTER LEADER
even though
LAUGHING
and attempting to make people
H A P P Y(IER)
has been a life long pursuit of mine.            .          .
enter the infamous JOYOLOGIST
STEVE WILSON and his beautiful bride, Pamela
I attended their WORLD LAUGHTER TOUR

Steve Wilson| Psychologist | The Joyologist | Cheerman of the Bored
Director-National Humor Month
http://www.worldlaughtertour.com
http://www.humormonth.com
http://www.stevewilson.com
http://www.laughterfoundation.org
Skype: s_h_wilson
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/World-Laughter-Tour/57984062492
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevehwilson
Twitter: (@joyologist)
Phone: 614-855-4733
Blog: http://www.laughterandhumor.blogspot.com
and it was literally
LIFE CHANGING.          .          .
I have had the privilege/pleasure of actually hosting several LAUGHTER SESSIONS and have shared some of those techniques in several of the presentations I do and believe me, no pun intended.          .          .
THIS IS NO FUNNY BUSINESS,
in fact the one simple-start-using-it-at-this-very-second-give-a-away
IS FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.         .          .
That’s right, even fake laughing for a mere 15-30 seconds gives you all of the health benefits of actually laughing as if you were watching your favorite comedy or having a laughfest with your friends.          .          .
In fact, SMILING has the same kind of benefits, especially when you feel the least like cracking a smile.          .          .
and yet even FAKE SMILING  opens wide those big Carotid arteries that supply the head and neck with oxygenated blood and instantly changes your mood and demeanor.        .       .
FUNNY BUSINESS
This past Sunday, Steve DIRECT MESSAGED me the image below
It made me take a look at a pile of books I had in a corner section of the library I have in my basement and WHAAAAAAA-LAAAAAAAA I found this
Lord Is a Whisper at Midnight https://a.co/d/bW9xGyH
book that I hadn’t opened in a while but slid in a chair on a rainy afternoon and let it READ ME as much as I pursued it.          .          .
FUNNY BUSINESS

I was COLOR BLINDED no more and the smiles weren’t fake
THANK YOU, STEVE WILSON
for HOW-TO
that made the WANT-TO
feel kind of
F  U  N  N  Y
naturally.          .          .

THE COST OF LOVE

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There are never any tears.          .          .
There is no sense of loss.           .          .
There isn’t any sadness.             .          .
“GRIEF” and “BEREAVEMENT” don’t exist
U  N  L  E  S  S
There is a LOVE greater than all of these things together
that even makes the tears possible.          .          .

Losing a Loved One Can Be

Life-Threatening

 TARA LAW from Time Magazine recently reported what we know, what we know that we know but don’t always act or maybe fully know the full power of what we know when it comes to losing someone we love

Grief can exact a heavy toll on a person’s health. People are more likely to die when they’re in mourning than in ordinary times, a phenomenon that’s so well known it has its own name in scientific literature: the “widowhood effect.” That’s partly due to the negative changes that can affect the heart during mourning. Grief activates the nervous system, including the part that triggers the body’s “flight or fight” response—which, when it’s over-stimulated, has been linked to heart failure.

Now, a study published July 6 in JACC: Heart Failure adds to the evidence that losing a loved one isn’t just painful: it can also be life-threatening. Researchers reviewed health and family data from national databases for about 491,000 Swedish patients with heart failure between 1987 and 2018, who were followed for about four years on average. People who had lost a family member were significantly more likely to die over that time period compared to people who had not lost a loved one, and the riskiest time by far was the week after the loss.

Most of these deaths during bereavement were due to heart failure (although bereavement was most closely associated with an increase in so-called “unnatural” deaths like suicide). People were at higher risk for dying of heart failure when someone very close to them died. The death of a spouse or partner increased the risk by 20%, the death of a child by 10%, and the death of a sibling by 13%, although the loss of a parent did not increase the risk of death. The risk was especially high for people who endured two losses during the period studied—a 35% increased risk, compared to 28% for a single loss.

The first week after a loss was the most dangerous. During that time, people who had lost a loved one had a 78% increased risk of dying from heart failure compared to people who weren’t grieving—and a 113% increased risk over the first week if the person had lost a spouse or partner. “When the shock is highest, we see a stronger effect,” says study co-author Krisztina Laszlo, an associate professor from the department of global public health at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden. That squares with what other studies have found, says Dr. Gregg Fonarow, director of the Ahmanson-UCLA Cardiomyopathy Center (who was not connected with the study). “The risk of death after the loss of a loved one is most elevated in the first few weeks and over the first year,” he says.

The researchers were somewhat surprised to find that losing a spouse seemed to exert a greater effect than losing a child, although that may be because the average age of people with heart failure in the study was 79, says Laszlo. “At this age, one doesn’t have such a large network, and if one loses their spouse…that may impact the quality of life much more.”

Researchers have long known that grief can cause physical changes to the heart. People who live through a very stressful event—such as the loss of a spouse or partner—sometimes develop stress cardiomyopathy, also known as broken heart syndrome, or takotsubo cardiomyopathy. (“Takotsubo” is the Japanese word for an octopus trap, the shape the heart takes under severe emotional distress.) Broken heart syndrome usually only lasts for a short period, but it can cause symptoms that resemble a heart attack, including chest pain and shortness of breath; part of the heart enlarges, and the heart pumps blood abnormally.

Laszlo says that these negative changes—as well as others, such as how grief affects the nervous and neuroendocrine systems—may contribute to the higher rate of death immediately after loss identified in her study. After a loved one’s death, people sometimes make behavioral changes, like drinking more and exercising less, that could also drive up the death rate among grieving people, she adds. However, even though the scientists attempted to control for confounding variables, the researchers couldn’t entirely rule out that something besides grief could be at play. Risk factors like poor diet tend to cluster in families, for example.

Nevertheless, Laszlo points to several signs in the data that suggest the outsize role of grief, including the fact that losing someone closer was linked to a higher risk of death. The researchers found that there was an association between grief and death even if family members died from unnatural causes.

While the topic warrants further research, the study is a reminder for family members and heath care providers that people need increased support after losing a loved one. Loss can have a profound effect on people, says Laszlo. “Death is just the tip of the iceberg,” she says. “It denotes there is serious suffering.”

The Truth is Brutal:
PEOPLE DIE
.            .            .BUT OUT LOVE DOESN’T
DEATH 
takes a person 
but it never takes a Relationship
and that’s why the
COST OF LOVE
will never be a Debt
we won’t pay.            .            .

 

PRAYING

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.            .            .so, do you
P               R               A               Y.            .            .
HOW?
Head Bowed
Eyes Closed
Silently
Out Loud
With Music
With People
IN A CLOSET.            .            .
Think on this as Ellen Bass’s Poem tingles you brain cells as it drips into your soul:

PRAY FOR PEACE
Ellen Bass

Pray to whomever you kneel down to:
Jesus nailed to his wooden or plastic cross,
his suffering face bent to kiss you,
Buddha still under the bo tree in scorching heat,
Adonai, Allah. Raise your arms to Mary
that she may lay her palm on our brows,
to Shekhina, Queen of Heaven and Earth,
to Inanna in her stripped descent.

Then pray to the bus driver who takes you to work.
On the bus, pray for everyone riding that bus,
for everyone riding buses all over the world.
Drop some silver and pray.

Waiting in line for the movies, for the ATM,
for your latte and croissant, offer your plea.
Make your eating and drinking a supplication.
Make your slicing of carrots a holy act,
each translucent layer of the onion, a deeper prayer.

To Hawk or Wolf, or the Great Whale, pray.
Bow down to terriers and shepherds and Siamese cats.
Fields of artichokes and elegant strawberries.

Make the brushing of your hair
a prayer, every strand its own voice,
singing in the choir on your head.
As you wash your face, the water slipping
through your fingers, a prayer: Water,
softest thing on earth, gentleness
that wears away rock.

Making love, of course, is already prayer.
Skin, and open mouths worshipping that skin,
the fragile cases we are poured into.

If you’re hungry, pray. If you’re tired.
Pray to Gandhi and Dorothy Day.
Shakespeare. Sappho. Sojourner Truth.

When you walk to your car, to the mailbox,
to the video store, let each step
be a prayer that we all keep our legs,
that we do not blow off anyone else’s legs.
Or crush their skulls.
And if you are riding on a bicycle
or a skateboard, in a wheelchair, each revolution
of the wheels a prayer as the earth revolves:
less harm, less harm, less harm.

And as you work, typing with a new manicure,
a tiny palm tree painted on one pearlescent nail,
or delivering soda or drawing good blood
into rubber-capped vials, twirling pizzas–

With each breath in, take in the faith of those
who have believed when belief seemed foolish,
who persevered. With each breath out, cherish.

Pull weeds for peace, turn over in your sleep for peace,
feed the birds, each shiny seed
that spills onto the earth, another second of peace.
Wash your dishes, call your mother, drink wine.

Shovel leaves or snow or trash from your sidewalk.
Make a path. Fold a photo of a dead child
around your Visa card. Scoop your holy water
from the gutter. Gnaw your crust.
Mumble along like a crazy person, stumbling
your prayer through the streets.

Which bubbled this up inside of me
and now maybe you.          .          .

Bowing the head
gently
not tightly closing the eyes
as if you were greeting sleep
a few breaths away
and not strongly
squinting out the first rays
of a new day
Don’t pray that way
Wide eyed
head held high and firm
Blinkless
Offer up not what a mouth
can whisper
But a heart shouts
Full vibrato
To not make your needs known
But your promises
Powerfully Claimed
Humbly Received
Gratefully accepted
Pray that way
Not with a softend amen
But an exalted hurrah
and don’t blink
for fear of missing
the something
that compares to nothing 
in this world
or the one
seemingly unfolding 
before us all
especially if it’s 
unlabeled
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE A PRAYER
BE
ONE
(The only true prayer you’ll ever really need is the one 
YOU ARE

The New SEVEN WONDERS of the World

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“Some people go through life trying to find out what the world holds for them only to find out too late that it’s what they bring to the world that really counts.“ – Anne of Green Gables

In today’s fast-paced world, that feels more and more like a merry-go-round on a roller coaster got amok, it can be easy to lose sight of what’s important.   .   .

No, wait. Let’s take that back. 🙂

It’s not really about our world being fast-paced, but maybe as we get older, WE become fast-paced.       .       .       ?

It seems that as a child we intuitively knew the simple things that made life
amazing. .     .     .

And as adults, it sometimes feel like we have so much to do, so much to be, so much to have.          .          .

So much so that we need reminders of what it is like to live in a more present, aware, conscious, fulfilling way.

We all need reminders to bring us back to our true selves, and to the miracles present in our lives every single day.

We’ve been often told and most likely been shown, in our World it takes a Village with the subtle reminder that a Village exists in each of us that desperately needs shared/united with the Villages we find in others.          .          .

UNITE THAT
and you’ll never have to
W O N D E R
about the
W O N D E R S
that make each of us up
that uses the golden strands of
t o u c h
t  a s t e
s e e i n g
h e a r i n g
f e e l i n g
l a u g h i n g
l o v i n g
to weave a new tapestry
intermeshing ourselves forever
into the fabric of each other’s lives
never to unravel again.          .          .
W  O  N  D  E  R
NEW
WONDERS

C O I N E D

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C O I N E D                                            .

  Sometimes I feel like an old discarded
C O I N                                                     
Worn                                                          
Weathered                                              
 Unnoticed                                                  
In open air                                                
 Sunning                                                    
 With the Shine long rubbed away           
To no longer reflect                     
  Sun                                                           
  Moon                                                          
Or Star                                                        
 Just Because                                             
  I’m not in a gutter                                    
  Doesn’t mean I haven’t been Displaced                                                 
  Laying there                                              
I scream out dully                                    
  I’M NOT  S P E N T                                    
 PICK ME UP
USE ME                                                     
  KEEP ME                             
  SAVE ME                                                  
 COLLECT ME                                             
 BUT DON’T WALK BY ME                      
   like all the Others   

So remember.            .            .
The next time you feel like something that doesn’t spend
not worth being picked up
Un-used
Thrown away
Not sought
Walked past
Shunned

YOU ARE THE CHANGE
THAT DOESN’T JINGLE
(only  c o u n t s)

 

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man