The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

THE POWER OF ONE

By 2 Comments

GET ON BOARD

By Leave a Comment

Even if it’s the greatest train the world has ever seen it means nothing if it’s not on the tracks and even less if it’s on the tracks but immobile.            .             .
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

GET ON BOARD.            .            .
No one’s asking you to start a song that’ll get everyone singing
but if a 4 minute
UNEXPECTED
concert can break out anywhere
and put a song in your heart
a bop of your head
and the tapping of your feet
I            M            A            G            I            N            E
what you could do with even less
.          .          .grab a hand and join in
CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ALL
A
BOARD

WHEN WINNING ISN’T

By Leave a Comment

WINNING IS REALLY CONFUSING
AND OFTEN HARD
(Just because of its varied connotations)
B            U           T
When WINNING,
I  S  N  ‘  T
often has nothing to do with actual wins and losses.     .      .
The winningest college basketball coach of all time,
Coach K, Mike Krzyzewski knows WINNING, because he’s done it 1,129 times; 101 times in the NCAA March Madness Tournament and is now heading for at least two more victories this coming weekend for his 103 wins and more importantly his 6th NCAA Championship as he will retire after this season.
T  H  E  S  E
no doubt will be some of the things that he will be known
and literally go down in Basketball history
(most likely to never be duplicated)
and yet it’s a winning that never involved a game or a tournament
that might well define Coach K
the most
to one:
image.png

Dear Coach K,

I’ve never met you, though you’ve walked past me many times on a stretch of beach called Pine Knoll Shores. I didn’t want to bother you, but wish I had known about your gift to Steve Mitchell. His departure from this earth has offered the story of a life well-lived. Steve was the man who sat behind you in Duke University’s Cameron Indoor Stadium for the last 37 years and I know you miss him this season.

He did a lot in his sixty plus years. He was born with Down syndrome and his family shrugged off the doctors and took him right home. He was integrated in an era that made his parents ground breakers; school or church, Steve was there. I am a special needs mama too and with parenthood comes advocacy, their forging a path has benefited so many. You called Steve “a good friend who had some challenges.” What a gift of inclusive language.

The story goes that in 1980 the only thing Steve Mitchell wanted for Christmas was a Duke basketball ticket, not an easy score, but Steve’s brother had a construction company and was hired to renovate the new coach’s, Mike “Coach K” Krzyzewski, house. He asked you how one might find a ticket to buy and explained his brother’s Christmas wish.

“He can sit behind me,” you said. Did you know how life changing that gift would be?

The following season, Steve wrote you a letter saying, “Coach, I know we’re going to have another great year. I was hoping that I could sit near you again.” You said yes to a family that may have heard no far more often. He wrote you a letter every year for 37 years and this is the first season that a ticket, reserved for one Steve Mitchell, isn’t waiting at will call. Steve would collect his ticket and make his way to his seat behind you (usually with the help of his favorite usher, Fran), a tradition that was life changing for his self-confidence, according to his family. You shook his hand before every game.

Thank you, Coach K.

Mamas of special needs kids know that kindness extends far beyond team affiliation and we know that our team is the best of all. Welcome to the club. And to Steve? Godspeed, my friend and thank you.

Love,
Adrian (Amos’s mom)

Just what kind of a never-to-be-forgotten
Caring Catalyst
A  C  T
will you offer today
that will forever change a life
(as it defines and enhances your’s).            .            .

THE HAPPINESS GRAB

By Leave a Comment

IT’S THE ONE THING 
THAT EVERYONE STOPS AND REACHES
whether it’s family
whether it’s work
whether it’s downtime
whether it’s personal as personal can be
H            A            P            P            I            N            E            S            S

happiness chemicals
So to keep us all at our Caring Catalyst best I started doing some digging and found the best kind of digging there is needs no shovel because it lies deeply hidden and buried but better awareness and RECOGNIZABILITY for what’s usually right in front of us and the cost isn’t in C-E-N-T-S
but mere S-E-N-S-E.          .          .
Here’s a complete list of 100+ hacks we can use to boost important “happiness chemicals” such as dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. These are the building blocks to living a happier and healthier life. Which are your favorites?

 

 

Dopamine (reward)

Dopamine is often associated with reward-seeking and goal-oriented behavior.

    • Complete a small and easy task (making your bed, washing the dishes, send an email).

 

    • Celebrate a small win (something you accomplished recently).

 

    • Eat a healthy but enjoyable snack (in moderation).

 

    • Complete a small puzzle or game.

 

 

    • Finish reading a chapter of a book.

 

 

    • Practice a power-pose to boost your physical and mental confidence.

 

 

 

 

 

    • Buy yourself something nice, but recognize retail therapy is only a temporary fix.

 

    • Take a break from social media, which can often lead to a “dopamine burnout” from easy likes and attention. Pay attention to your digital environment.

 

 

 

 

    • Make sure your diet includes important vitamins and minerals associated with dopamine production (especially iron, niacin, folate and vitamin B6).

 

 

    • Find activities that put you into a state of “flow,” where you lose sense of time and become fully engaged.

 

 

    • Complete a personal project or “passion project” that isn’t related to work or family.

 

    • Identify a strength or “superpower” of yours.

 

 

    • Share an accomplishment of yours with someone who’d be proud of you.

 

    • Play a video game you enjoy and you’re good at (in moderation).

 

  • Cultivate a diverse range of interests and hobbies, so nothing ever gets stale.

Oxytocin (love/bonding)

Oxytocin is often associated with feelings of love, affection, and bonding.

 

 

    • Play with kids.

 

    • Cradle a baby.

 

    • Give someone a genuine compliment.

 

    • Wrap yourself in a comfy and warm blanket.

 

    • Cuddle with a loved one (while in bed or watching TV).

 

 

    • Volunteer for a cause that means something to you.

 

 

    • Give or receive a massage or back rub.

 

    • Spend romantic alone time with your partner.

 

    • Embrace human touch, even in small ways such as a handshake or pat on the back.

 

    • Prepare a meal together with someone you love.

 

    • Collaborate on an art project with someone.

 

 

    • Give a random gift or present to someone you care about.

 

    • Tell someone you love them.

 

    • Take a nice hot bath.

 

    • Practice eye-gazing with a loved one.

 

    • Empathize with someone who is less fortunate than you.

 

    • Write a letter of appreciation for someone.

 

    • Practice synchronized breathing or mirroring.

 

    • Participate in a group music activity, such as a drum circle or choir.

 

 

    • Reach out to a person you trust when you need support or someone to listen.

 

    • Permit yourself to fall in love with someone and have a long-term relationship.

 

Serotonin (happiness/mood)

Serotonin is often associated with mood regulation and happiness.

 

    • Go for a long walk.

 

 

 

    • Pursue a creative hobby, such as painting, music, photography, or filmmaking.

 

    • Listen to your favorite music, one of the most common ways we regulate our mood and emotions.

 

    • Do more aerobic exercises like swimming, running, or cycling.

 

 

 

    • Go to a live event, festival, or concert.

 

 

    • Identify one thing you are grateful for every day – make gratitude a daily mental habit.

 

 

    • Maintain a consistent and healthy sleep schedule between 6-10 hours every night.

 

 

    • Drink green tea.

 

    • Consume high protein foods that contain tryptophan such as salmon, turkey, eggs, and nuts (or take a supplement).

 

    • Improve your body awareness through mindful stretching, Yoga, or Tai Chi.

 

    • Consume healthy probiotics in your diet (yogurt, kombucha, sauerkraut, pickles, and fermented foods).

 

 

 

  • Participate in a religious or spiritual ceremony.

Endorphins (energy/pain-killer)

Endorphins are often associated with stimulation, energy, and feelings of relief (pain-killers).

    • Laugh a lot with friends.

 

    • Watch a comedy movie or funny TV show.

 

    • Go for a long run (also known as “runner’s high”).

 

    • Have an intense workout at the gym.

 

    • Engage in a competitive activity.

 

    • Pursue extreme sports (surfing, biking, skateboarding).

 

    • Eat dark chocolate.

 

 

    • Dance to fast and upbeat music.

 

    • Take a cold shower to shock your body and boost your adrenaline.

 

 

 

    • Eat really spicy foods.

 

    • Engage in a healthy but lively debate about a topic you care a lot about.

 

 

    • Go to a fun and wild party or night club.

 

    • Do a quick high-intensity workout (cycle through jumping jacks, push-ups and crunches).

 

    • Have passionate sex with your partner.

 

    • Learn how to play a musical instrument at a high level.

 

    • Perform something in front of an audience (such as a song, poem, or speech). Face your performance anxiety.

 

    • Enjoy a glass or two of red wine at night.

 

    • Get a chiropractic massage, deep-tissue massage, or try acupuncture.

 

    • Challenge yourself and put yourself in a situation you know you will fail. Setting yourself up to fail on purpose can be a great way to test your limits.

 

    • Sit in a hot sauna or jacuzzi.

 

    • Smell euphoric essential oils such as lavender, rosemary, or citrus fragrances.

 

    • Practice fast and powerful breathing to boost your energy levels.

 

  • Watch a really intense drama or thriller movie.

Are you getting a healthy dose of all these “happiness chemicals?”

GUARANTEE?

ABSOLUTELY:
NONE OF THESE 100+ HAPPINESS HACKS
Will ever happen
unless you
try’s on for size.          .          .
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what do you have to lose??
H       A       P       P       I       N       E       S       S

 

WHAT’S YOUR VERSE

By Leave a Comment

https://youtu.be/PxEIZP-sr0c

WOW. . .
how could it be that this movie,
THE DEAD POET’S SOCIETY
came out in.            .             .
ANY GUESSES?
1     9     8     9
A new English teacher, John Keating (Robin Williams), is introduced to an all-boys preparatory school that is known for its ancient traditions and high standards. He uses unorthodox methods to reach out to his students, who face enormous pressures from their parents and the school. With Keating’s help, students Neil Perry (Robert Sean Leonard), Todd Anderson (Ethan Hawke) and others learn to break out of their shells, pursue their dreams and seize the day.
AND IT BEGS
THIS QUESTION:
Just what will your verse be?
H            I            N            T :
If you use words
you’ve already failed.           .           .
Forget about iambic pentameters
or does it rhyme
is it free verse
or what the length of any poem is
You are the living version
of what needs to be seen
and experienced
and not just read
or merely written.             .            .
Now more than ever
the Verb of You
Your Caring Catalyst
needs to be known
more than any Noun of You
needs to be represented.             .            .

Just sayin’. . . .

W A R

By Leave a Comment

Serbian saying: “In war the politicians give ammunition, the rich give the food and the poor give their children… When the war is over the politicians get back the leftover ammunition, the rich grow more food and the poor search for the graves of their children.”

WORDS
W     o             R                d                         S
are all pretty meaningless
even if they are
ACTION WORDS
until they are
LIVING WORDS
THE WORLD IS MADE UP OF DEAD ENDS
DESOLATE
WAR TORN PLACES
(and that’s not even talking about the wars that are being waged in ourselves)

It reminds me of the words of the poet,

Warsan Shire

Warsan Shire

“later that night

i held an atlas in my lap

ran my fingers across the whole world

and whispered

where does it hurt?

it answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere.”

For the World’s sake
For your sake
(Literally) For God’s sake
we’ve got to Caring Catalyst UP
not Someday
(which can never be found on anyone’s Calendar)
but TODAY
IT’S time to BE
what the World needs
right where you are at
and to everyone you touch.        .         .

A CHANGE OF HEART

By Leave a Comment

It’s been two years now.   .   .
not only has the our World changed dramatically because of COVID19
but quite literally, so has our
H E A R T
(l i t e r a l l y)

US News
just recently came out with some not so startling news about how this past year,
particularly, the GRIEF that it’s caused
has rewired our Hearts and our Brains. . .
AMERICAN HEART Association News, HealthDay Reporter, By Michael Merschel

On WEDNESDAY, March 10, 2021 (American Heart Association News) — Grief is a common, if not universal, human experience. But that doesn’t make it simple.

It’s psychological, but it affects people physically. It’s a matter of science, but scientists who discuss it can sound poetic. Dr. Katherine Shear, professor of psychiatry at Columbia University School of Social Work in New York, calls grief “the form that love takes when someone we love dies.”

COVID-19 has both brought grief and disrupted the way people experience it. But researchers have been examining grief since well before the pandemic.

Simply defining it can be difficult. Shear, who also is director of the Columbia Center for Complicated Grief, said “there are pretty much as many different definitions of grief as there are people.” Commonly, it’s thought of as a feeling, like sadness. That’s not wrong, she said, but it’s more accurate to call it “the response to loss,” a complex and multifaceted thing with yearning and longing at its core.

Its health implications are serious.

A 2014 study in JAMA Internal Medicine showed that within 30 days of their partner’s death, people ages 60 and older had more than twice the risk of a stroke or heart attack compared to people who hadn’t suffered such a loss. That followed a 2012 study in the American Heart Association journal Circulation showing the danger of a heart attack was highest in the first 24 hours after the death of a loved one and people with existing cardiovascular problems might be at particular risk. . .(GO AHEAD: READ THAT AGAIN!)

Other research has linked grief to disrupted sleep, immune system changes and the risk of blood clots.

Dr. Lisa M. Shulman, professor of neurology at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore, said much of the physical effect of grief stems from how our brains respond.

The stress from the death of a loved one jolts our personal identity, our view of how we fit into the world, Shulman said. It sounds like a philosophical problem, but the brain is built to perceive an existential threat as a threat to our very existence.

This triggers what most people know as the “fight or flight” response. Stress hormones course throughout the body. “Your heart starts racing, your blood pressure increases, your respiratory rate increases, you become sweaty, as the body marshals defenses for you to protect yourself, one way or another,” Shulman said.

Someone who has experienced a traumatic loss, she said, might feel such a response kick in when they enter a restaurant that reminds them of a loved one, or even when someone brings them up in conversation.

But people don’t grasp why. “Instead, you just feel this incredible, physiologic response and a rising sense of anxiety, or even panic. And you’re flummoxed by it.”

Shulman understands this firsthand. Her interest in the neurobiology of grief followed the loss of her husband, Dr. Bill Weiner, a fellow neurologist, who died of cancer in 2012.

Despite her prior experience in dealing with grieving patients, she was unprepared for it herself. The first two years, she said, were particularly difficult. At times she felt disoriented, confused, in a fog – responses that are the brain’s attempts to dissociate itself from emotional pain.

Such reactions can make a bereaved person feel isolated, she said, because people feel their problems are unique. But after writing the book “Before and After Loss: A Neurologist’s Perspective on Loss, Grief and Our Brain” and giving regular talks on the subject, she’s found talking with others can help. That is why the pandemic has made things extra difficult for people who’ve been cut off from the comfort of others.

Many people have identical experiences with grief, she said – right down to the same dreams.

“People do respond very positively to the message that the experience of grief and loss can be normalized by understanding why and what you’re feeling,” she said.

Grief can reinforce brain wiring that effectively locks the brain in a permanent stress response, Shulman said. To promote healthy rewiring, people need to strengthen the parts of the brain that can regulate that response. That can involve “a whole range of creative and contemplative practices,” from painting to meditation or expressions of faith.

Journaling helped her. By writing about disturbing memories or troubling dreams, “you can read it over in your own words and annotate it over time. And as you do that, you are becoming increasingly aware of these unprocessed thoughts, memories and emotions. And that is the way you start to rebuild more positive neural connections.”

Shear said having someone to confide in – even if it’s by video call, phone or letter – is important.

Grief, she said, is a lengthy path, marked with milestones people must face – and detours where they can get stuck. Her center offers a website full of information about grief. So does the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Grief never just goes away, Shear said. “If the loss is permanent, then so is the grief, because we’re defining it as a response to loss.”

But the way people experience grief is fluid. It can shift over the course of a day or an hour.

“It will naturally kind of surge and then recede,” she said. “We sort of oscillate between confronting the pain of the loss, and then being able to kind of set it aside or compartmentalize it.”

Eventually, it can evolve to a place where it resides mostly in the background, with only occasional periods of stronger, noticeable thoughts and feelings about the person who died. And in time, people find ways to let good memories in without triggering stress.

“We never have no response to the fact that someone we love died,” she said. “But it does change its form over time.”

American Heart Association News covers heart and brain health. Not all views expressed in this story reflect the official position of the American Heart Association. Copyright is owned or held by the American Heart Association, Inc., and all rights are reserved. If you have questions or comments about this story, please email editor@heart.org.

The Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm of the Day:
Why do we see GRIEF as a weakness;
Why do we see GRIEF as something to get OVER;
Why do we keep spelling it:
G-R-I-E-F
instead of
L- O-V-E

A CHANGE OF HEART
you betcha. . .
JUST A BEAT AWAY

LOUD LOVE

By Leave a Comment

This short clip called
SILENT LOVE
(LIVE AND BE FREE song by, Tim McMorris)
really lets us know not just how
OUTRAGEOUSLY LOUD LOVE IS
but more importantly
A LANGUAGE we all speak
with no words ever needed
no ears necessary
no mouths speaking
to powerfully prove that when
L            O            V            E
any kind of Love
is present
NOTHING ELSE EVER HAS TO BE
YES
CARING CATALYST ME 
t  h  a  t
so that every heart may not just know
LOVE
but share it
LOUDLY
without a word spoken
but known intimately

McNOTICED

By Leave a Comment

I got McNOTICED
yesterday morning
going through the drive through
for my egg McMuffin.           .           .
as he took my money,
he was staring at me
and then said,
“Sir, you had the funeral service for my grandmother,”  
he swallowed hard
and his eyes filled up with tears and then he said,
“You did really, really good.       .       .thank you.”
We both paused
just short enough for those behind me
to begin McHONKING.          .          .
I swallowed just as hard
and thanked him for
(literally)
McNOTICING ME!
We both
McLAUGHED
and bid each other a good day.          .          .
GET McNOTICED
and more.       .       .
do something to make sure you’re never
McFORGOTTEN!

PEACE AND CONFLICT

By Leave a Comment

WHERE DO WE TURN??
WHO DO WE TRUST??
WHAT TO BELIEVE??

All good questions that have been pop corning around in our heads for nearly a month now as Covid seems to be subsiding or at least becoming manageable.

The very least I could do as an ongoing becoming a better Caring Catalyst is to share some fo the resources I’ve consulted over these past few weeks to make some sense of what’s happening a half of a world away from most of us.  Hence, I wanted to share:

The Greater Good Resources for Peace and Conflict

They gathered articles that explore the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; offer resources for well-being and activism; and most of all, remind us of human goodness.

The folks at the Greater Good Science Center, Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is provoking a range of emotions: sadness, anger, fear, and more. We’re reading the news every day and wishing that there were more we could do to help.

As an educational nonprofit, the folks at the Greater Good Science Center,  understand the best we can do, perhaps, is to remind ourselves and their readers that peace is always possible, the vast majority of people resist killing, even the most violent primates are capable of change, there are steps we can all take to bridge our differences, and activism can make the world a better place. They’ve gathered articles below to help you understand the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; get involved in activism; and support your well-being and your children’s—including reminders of human goodness in times of conflict. This is just one humble beggar showing another hungry beggar where he got some much needed sustenance.

If you’d like to find a more direct way to support the people of Ukraine, the Greater Good Science Center editors shared their friends at KQED recommendations who created this excellent list of organizations addressing the human crises that war creates. We hope you’ll consider making a donation to one of them.

Click to jump to a section:

Promoting peace and reconciliation
Reminders of human goodness
How political apology and forgiveness works
Resources for well-being and activism
Resources for children’s well-being

Promoting peace and reconciliation

Reminders of human goodness

  • Hope on the Battlefield: Military leaders know a secret: The vast majority of people are overwhelmingly reluctant to take a human life.
  • Courage Under Fire: When the Bosnian civil war broke out, Svetlana Broz searched for the humanity behind the horrific headlines. She found stories of people who risked their lives to help victims of the war—and who inspired others to follow their example.
  • Worlds Without War: Ethnographic studies find that not all societies make war. In other words, war is not intrinsic to humankind.
  • Beyond Sex and Violence: Contrary to the typical view, violence is something humans resort to out of fear—or try to avoid altogether.
  • Peace Among Primates: Anyone who says peace is not part of human nature knows too little about primates, including ourselves.

How political apology and forgiveness works

Resources for well-being and activism

Resources for children’s well-being

LET US WORK TOGETHER
TO BE CARING CATALYSTS ENOUGH
TO NOT JUST WORK TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
BUT ACTUALLY 
BE THE DIFFERENCE NEEDED NOW

 

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man