FAMOUS Naomi Shihab Nye The river is famous to the fish. The loud voice is famous to silence, which knew it would inherit the earth before anybody said so. The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds watching him from the birdhouse. The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek. The idea you carry close to your bosom is famous to your bosom. The boot is famous to the earth, more famous than the dress shoe, which is famous only to floors. The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it and not at all famous to the one who is pictured. I want to be famous to shuffling men who smile while crossing streets, sticky children in grocery lines, famous as the one who smiled back. I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous, or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular, but because it never forgot what it could do.(My thanks to Naomi Shihab Nye, via Poetry Foundation.)
U NIVERSEIt might as well be uselessI meanWhat exactly is aNIVERSENary another nothing until aUIs brought not just to itbut for ITWho would think(Not Many)That it takes a Uyour simply perfectly imperfectYou-est UTo not just completeincludeBut actually createThe Universewith the best part beingthat it is evermore beingCreated/Recreated because ofOh the holiest of holiesU
WHEN I’M 67
L I F E
isn’t about a number of Candles
on a quick-to-go-stale
Birthday Cake. . .
. . .Maybe the best part of old age for anyone is that they can actually
A T T A I N I T
There are Givens:
Death is the Number One Killer in the World. . .
Life is Sexually Transmitted and it’s
T E R M I N A L . . .
and it ENDS. . .
usually
just not as well as we’d like. . .
Great Health,
it turns out,
is merely the slowest possible rate
at which anyone can ever die. . .
But. . .
After some 804 months
3495 weeks and five days
24,472 Days on this spinning blue ball
587,328 hours
35,239,680 minutes
268,202,880 seconds,
I’ve learned a few lessons. . .
and the biggest one:
There’s just a few more lessons to learn. . .
There was a recent survey taken in the UK that said the biggest fears men have growing older are:
94% fear going bald
89% fear becoming impotent
75% are worried about going grey
64% are scared of getting fat
61% fear losing their teeth
45% dread needing ‘jam jar’ glasses
31% are scared of going deaf
24% are frightened of getting bad breath
100% of me is concerned that I wasted time. . .
that somehow,
I didn’t become all of
M E
I regret little of what I’ve ever done. . .
even the not-so-good-kind-of-horrific-things
because they’ve all made up the tapestry of my life–
especially the dark, ugly colors;
It’s the strands of threads
that I didn’t allow to become a part of the mosaic. . .
to expand it
that taunts me;
It’s not the two-self published books,
it’s the yet-to-be published two novels,
five Children’s books,
three non-fiction books
four books of poetry
and the yet to be written ones
that fill stacks of notebooks and overflowing file folders. . . .
I have no interest in spewing out the
6 7
greatest things I’ve learned in my
6 7 years. . .
I do believe that
R e l a t i o n s h i p s,
not technology or medical advances,
Heals me. . .
I do believe that
L O V I N G
is the greatest force in and out of this World
and when applied frequently and liberally
Y O U
not only Change. . .
The Universe does, too. . .
I do believe that the secret to long life is
simply never to let your heart stop beating
or never passing up the opportunity
of making Another’s beat better. . .
I do believe that
Life is not counted by pages on a calendar
or minutes/seconds on a clock
or candles on a cake. . .
but in
M O M E N T S
that can never be counted,
calculated,
measured
or
harnessed. . .
o n l y r e m e m b e r e d
way past a pulse,
a heart beat,
a breath
or any other means of defining Life
that can’t be definite. . . .
B I R T H D A Y S
are never what they’re cranked up to be
no matter how many you continue to collect
none of them mean a thing
until you make everyday between them mean
E V E R Y T H I N G
So. . .
about that cake. . .
I’ll pass. . .
but WOW. . .
that piece of Pecan Pie
is looking mighty, mighty
f i n e !
Join me. . .
we’ll call it a
Party. . .
a never-ending Celebration
. . .Candles are optional
The Light
is Blinding
But, at my age
I’m not much thinking about Blinking
. . .I don’t want to miss a thing
and I can’t wait to see
not so much how many more
strands I can add to this
growing-by-the-second-older-
t a p e s t r y
so much as
the different
colors
textures
that’ll get me ever closer to being
c o m p l e t e d
. . .now
ALL-WAYS
NOW
it’s time again
to bring
f l a m e
to
w i c k
IS HAPPINESS A PLACE?
Wouldn’t we all do it. . .
Book a Trip
Go to a Destination
Make a Pilgrimage
Escape on a Excursion
if we knew that the final landing spot was the
U N I V E R S E
of
HAPPINESS
W E L L . . . Which Values Make You Happy? It Might Depend on Where You Live
Different cultures value different things—and that matters for happiness. . .
KIRA M. NEWMAN a journalist with The Greater Good Magazine did a little exploring on this HAPPINESS PLACE issue with some interesting findings. . .
When a new psychology study comes out, its findings—gratitude makes people happy! meditating can boost your mood!—are often taken as truth about humanity as a whole. But in recent years, researchers have pointed out that much of psychology research involves participants who are WEIRD: Western, Educated, and from Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic countries.
Why is that a problem? Because it could be the case that the insights we’re learning about how to live happy, meaningful lives privilege one group’s experiences—and they may not be as useful to people from other cultures and socioeconomic backgrounds.
A new study surveyed people in five regions around the world to see if the factors that influenced their happiness might be different. The discrepancies that the researchers found lend support to concerns that our current knowledge about well-being isn’t as universal as we might think.
“The implicit claim in previous research that ‘one size fits all’ is probably incorrect,” write Bruce Headey and his colleagues at the DIW Berlin research institute.
Values and Happiness
The study was based on the World Values Survey, which surveyed hundreds of thousands of people around the world from 1999 to 2014. The researchers decided to focus on five regions:
- Western countries, including the United States, Britain, Australia, Spain, and others;
- Latin America;
- Asian-Confucian countries: Hong Kong, Japan, South Korea, Singapore, and Taiwan;
- Ex-communist countries: Russia and Eastern Europe; and
- Communist countries: China and Vietnam.
People in each region reported on their values and priorities in life—the things that matter most to them. These included:
- Traditional family values: The importance of family, as well as helping people who live nearby and caring for their needs.
- Friendship and leisure values: The importance of friendship and leisure.
- Materialistic values: Believing it’s important to be rich, successful, and recognized for your achievements.
- Political values: The importance of politics.
- Prosocial values: Believing it’s important to do something for the good of society and look after the environment.
- Religious values: The importance of religion and God.
The researchers then compared how people rated the importance of these values to how satisfied they felt about their lives.
The results suggest that some values may be more universally important to well-being than others. In all five regions, people who highly valued family, friendship/leisure, and prosociality tended to be more satisfied with life. But the results for materialism, politics, and religion were more complicated.
People with stronger political values were more satisfied with life in communist countries, where “good citizens are supposed to be politically active” within the limits laid out by the state, explains Headey. This was also true to a lesser extent in the West. Meanwhile, in ex-communist Russia and Eastern Europe, people who cared more deeply about politics were less happy. This may be due to the “disillusionment with politics” in those countries, after the fall of communism.
People who placed more importance on religion tended to be happier in the West, Latin America, and the Asian-Confucian countries. But they were less satisfied with life if they were living in the communist and ex-communist regions. As the researchers speculate, this may be because communist governments tend to be hostile to religion, and people in ex-communist countries may still be suffering the long-term effects of that.
Materialism, a value that’s long been assumed to make us unhappy, actually went hand in hand with life satisfaction in Eastern Europe. It was only in the wealthier Western and Asian-Confucian countries where materialists tended to be less satisfied. In Latin America and the Communist countries, being materialistic didn’t seem to matter to life satisfaction.
Happiness and Conformity
Why might some values be beneficial everywhere, whereas others only seem helpful in certain cultures?
The researchers suggest that people may be happier when their personal values align with the societal and governmental norms in their country. In other words, some values may benefit us not in and of themselves, but because they give us a sense of belonging and make it easier for us to navigate the world.
These findings also help make sense of a paradox in happiness research—the fact that some regions (like Latin America) are much happier than their gross domestic product (GDP) would predict, while others (like Eastern Europe) are much less happy.
Examining the values people hold could help explain these discrepancies. In Eastern Europe, for example, the researchers found that many people rated all the different values as relatively unimportant, a recipe for unhappiness. In Latin America, people’s strong family and religious ties seemed to bring them a great deal of satisfaction.
Though they aimed to be more inclusive, the researchers didn’t have access to surveys from sub-Saharan Africa or Muslim countries in the Middle East and Asia—which means this picture of well-being is still incomplete. But it does point to a provocative idea: that the path to happiness isn’t the same everywhere, and what works for you may depend on the society and culture in which you live.
Amazing, stuff, huh. . .
To think that HAPPINESS IN A PLACE
instead of a PERSON
but then again, maybe that’s when it get’s really
W E I R D
(Western, Educated, and from Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic countries)
and it gets WEIRDER still
when Your WEIRD
gets my WEIRD
. . .now that’s some kind of
P L A C E
(to be)
THE CIRCUS
When the Circus comes to town
Don’t Go
When the Circus comes to town
Don’t advertise
When the Circus comes to town
Don’t buy or sell tickets
When the Circus comes to town
Don’t village up family and friends
to come along
When the Circus comes to town
Get your cotton candy
and unnecessary lighted plastic objects
somewhere else
When the Circus comes to town
Go to a movie
Read a book
Take in a concert
Go for a walk
(the other way)
When the Circus comes to town
There’ll be nothing you haven’t already
seen
heard
done or
been
including entertaining
the doesn’t exist
E L E P H A N T
in the room
When the Circus comes to town
G O
to another city
borough
state
country
continent
galaxy
universe
G O
or just meet me and the other
familiar faces
in the front row
or any one of the
THREE RINGS
When the Circus comes to town
know it’s never really gone
b r o k e n WHOLE
Many think that we’re
U N B R E A K A B L E
when they truest TRUTH
is that the thought of being
U N B R E A K A B L E
is the only thing truly
B R E A K A B L E
I recently finished reading Brene’s latest book
but it in many ways took me back to an earlier book of her’s:
“Resilience — the ability to overcome adversity — has been a growing topic of study since the early 1970s. In a world plagued by stress and struggle, everyone from psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers to clergy and criminal justice researchers want to why and how some folks are better at bouncing back from hardship than others. We want to understand why some people can cope with stress and trauma in a way that allows them to move forward in their lives, and why other people appear more affected and stuck.
“As I collected and analyzed my data, I recognized that many of the people I interviewed were describing stories of resilience. I heard stories about people cultivating Wholehearted lives despite adversity. I learned about people’s capacities to stay mindful and authentic under great stress and anxiety, and I heard people describe how they were able to transform trauma into Wholehearted thriving.
“It wasn’t difficult to recognize these stories as tales of resilience because I was in graduate school during the heyday of resilience research. I knew these narratives were threaded with what we call protective factors — the things we do, have, and practice that give us the bounce.
Trying to be PERFECT
when you’re I M P E R F E C T
Trying to be UNBROKEN
when you’re BROKEN
is stressfully
e x h a u s t i n g
“What Makes Up Resilience?
Brene suggests:
“If you look at the current research, here are five of the most common factors of resilient people:
“1. They are resourceful and have good problem-solving skills.
2. They are more likely to seek help.
3. They hold the belief that they can do something that will help them to manage their feelings and to cope.
4. They have social support available to them.
5. They are connected with others, such as family or friends.
“Of course, there are more factors, depending on the researchers, but these are the big ones.
Ms Brown goes on to say:
“At first, I hoped the patterns that I observed in my research would lead to a very straightforward conclusion — resilience is a core component of Wholeheartedness — just like the other guideposts. But there was something more to what I was hearing. The stories had more in common than just resilience; all of these stories were about spirit.
“According to the people I interviewed, the very foundation of the ‘protective factors’ — the things that made them bouncy — was their spirituality. By spirituality, I’m not talking about religion or theology, but I am talking about a shared and deeply held belief. Based on the interviews, here’s how I define spirituality:
“Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning, and purpose to our lives.
“Without exception, spirituality — the belief in connection, a power greater than self, and interconnections grounded in love and compassion — emerged as a component of resilience. Most people spoke of God, but not everyone. Some were occasional churchgoers; others were not. Some worshipped at fishing holes; others in temples, mosques, or at home. Some struggled with the idea of religion; others were devout members of organized religions. The one thing that they all had in common was spirituality as the foundation of their resilience.
“From this foundation of spirituality, three other significant patterns emerged as being essential to resilience:
“1. Cultivating hope
2. Practicing critical awareness
3. Letting go of numbing and taking the edge off vulnerability, discomfort, and pain”
Now THAT
is an ALL-DAY
SUCKER
you could s a v o r and
s u c k o n
for months
or maybe even a
l i f e t i m e
. . .Kind of gets to that inner heart chamber
of what it’s like to be a
PERFECTLY IMPERFECT
CARING CATALYST. . .
It’s a big ENLIGHTENED Universe out there
with lots of intermittent dark spots
that makes us continually grope for our way
o r a N E W W A Y
. . .and isn’t that at our core we are called to do
and better. . .
help A N O T H E R
to SEE
to ACHIEVE
TO B E. . .
. . .sometimes in our PERFECTLY IMPERFECTNESS
I think it’s all about finding our way
by helping others finding their’s. . .
WHEN YOU CAN’T LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,
I W I L L S I T W I T H I N T H E D A R K
uhhhhhhh. . .what’s more SPIRITUAL
what’s more of a Caring Catalyst
is that. . .
T E S T I T
f i n d o u t
Your Neutrino Of Compassion
Congratulations to Takaaki Kajita of the University of Tokyo and Arthur B. McDonald of Queen’s University in Canada who were awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics for discovering
THAT THE UBIQUITOUS BUT ELUSIVE SUBATOMIC PARTICLES KNOWN AS NEUTRINOS HAVE MASS
The ghostly neutrino–it means, “SMALL NEUTRAL ONE” in Italian–carries no electric charge and is so light that it had been assumed for many years to have no mass at all. These two Scientists showed that Neutrinos, which are found in three ‘flavors,’ could oscillate from one flavor to another–changing identities like a spy on the run, as they traveled through the atmosphere or through space from the sun–demonstrating that they do in fact have mass.
The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences, which awards the prize stated,
“The discovery has changed our understanding of the innermost working of matter and can prove crucial to our view of the Universe. . . .”
S O W H A T ?
Well. . .
The universe is swamped in neutrinos that are left over from the Big Bang, and many more are created in nuclear reactions on earth and in the thermonuclear reactions that power the sun.
. . . Once thought to travel at the speed of light, they drift through the earth and
OUR OWN BODIES
like moonlight through the window. Knowing that they can change identities–and that they have mass–has helped cosmologists understand how the Universe has evolved and how the sun works, and it will perhaps help them improve their attempts to create fusion reactors on earth. . . .
S O W H A T?
So. . .
if some SMALL NEUTRAL ONE
can do all that from the Sun
so very many, many years ago
from the Big Bang
and it’s in
OUR BODIES. . .
how much more
can just a single charged minuscule neutrino
reflect the Light
of our Compassion. . . ?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .
Holy Neutrinos, Batman
I don’t think we saw the light
we just might have on purpose with full intent,
c r e a t e d
i t !
May that be the Combustionable in us
exploding in atomic proportions
r e p e a t e d l y. . . .