It’s the last scene from the movie and it’s packed with wisdom, emotion and lots of life lessons
. . .ALL WHICH MEAN NOTHING
unless they are not so much
SEEN
HEARD
or even EXPERIENCED
so much as intimately and intentionally
A P P L I E D
(c o n t i n u o u s l y)
The quick synopsis
will tell you the
movie is about
College sweethearts Will and Abby who fall in love, get married and prepare to bring their first child into the world. As their story unfolds in New York, fate links them to a group of people in Seville, Spain, including a troubled young woman, a man and his granddaughter, a wealthy landowner and a plantation manager.
and yes,
EVEN US. . .
It’s more than about
Love and Loss
Grief
Relationships
Winning and Losing
Coming’s and Going’s
so much as how
we are more
i n t e r c o n n e c t e d
than we
realize
recognize
acknowledge
but ever proving
IT’S NOT SO MUCH AS SMALL WORLD
AS A BIG LIVING ROOM
and my thread
or your thread
are a part of the of the a
T A P E S T R Y
we each belong. . .
WE ARE CHAPTERS
in the Book
that just doesn’t merely tell our Story
but allows it to be experienced
by those
not yet here
sharing that
LIFE ITSELF
is the only
ALL
there is and ever
will be. . .
G I F T E D
WHO DOESN’T LIKE BEING GIFTED. . .
especially when it’s unexpected
. . .it’s like getting a two sunrises in the same morning
a gift within the gift. . .
There are some gifts that are just too big to ever be wrapped; there are some gifts that when received, never have to be opened or unwrapped because they’re that much a part of you already.
Do you have such a gift?
Have you given such a gift?
Kelly, a good friend of mine recently suffered the death of her mom a few months ago and because it was quite suddenly, it’s a different kind of grief that she’s had to be bearing and wearing on herself. Living in Arizona and dealing with the fallout of her mother’s death back here in Ohio has put an added burden upon her, and yet, in many ways has helped her deal with grief in a much different and a much deeper way than she could’ve never had in any other way.
Is grief that gift that’s too big it can’t find wrapping?
If grief is a gift at all, it’s one we usually don’t want to accept or certainly give, and never have to be on the receiving end of. But then again, grief is a great reminder of what it is, that’s on a cellular level, very much a part of us; even more real than the words you’re reading, or the actual breath you just took without noticing (again).
Kelly has come back and packed up her moms house and gave away most of her mothers possessions to friends and other family that she thought might appreciate those gifts the most. She’s donated the rest to the Salvation Army so that those that never knew her mother still may be beneficiaries of the gifts that have been left behind and now forwarded.
I am the recipient of one of those gifts.
It was a picture that hung in her mothers ‘s dining room.
I never met Kelly’s mom, but I sure have known Kelly for long enough to know that some of the things that have made Kelly, well Kelly, are literally impossible without her mother. DNA and genetics for sure guarantee that, but then there’s that gift that can’t be wrapped only given and received that truly makes us who we are and more, ever becoming MORE OF. . .
Grief is a terrible thing to ever have to experience. We often don’t recognize it and we don’t volunteer for it, but at its best and deepest, it is the truest reflection of the love that we have and only really deepens and expands and never vanishes. THAT’S GRIEF. Not the tears. Not the ‘how comes’. Not the ‘why’s’ or the ‘what for’s’. The grief that often brings the saltiest tears, those tears never exist nor does the sense of loss, that deep sadness ever, unless there’s a love much deeper than all those things put together that even make those tears even possible.
So what’s your gift?
What is it, that someone will pass on to another, perhaps you’ve never even met before, that might benefit from the fact that you even existed? What is the I T in you that’s so big, you can never wrap, but once given, never has to be. . . ?
SEE THAT
BE THAT
FREE THAT
So that Others
can be beneficiaries of your
N O W
and not so much your
T H E N
FRIEND
OUR FRIEND tells the inspiring and extraordinary true story of the Teague family—journalist Matt (Casey Affleck), his vibrant wife Nicole (Dakota Johnson) and their two young daughters—and how their lives are upended by Nicole’s heartbreaking diagnosis of terminal cancer. As Matt’s responsibilities as caretaker and parent become increasingly overwhelming, the couple’s best friend Dane Faucheux (Jason Segel) offers to come and help out. As Dane puts his life on hold to stay with his friends, the impact of this life altering decision proves greater and more profound than anyone could have imagined. . .
S H O C K E R!!!!
I love the
gots-to-have-a-box-of-tissues-to-watch-this-movie
Kind of movies
but the ones that require the most tissues
are the ones who remind me
not who I could be,
b u t
WHO I COULD BE MORE OF
(KIND OF LIKE)
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
The best kind of a movie based on a true story is the
THE ONE YOU’RE STILL MAKING. . .
QUIET ON THE SET.
READY.
ACTION.
CUT.
THAT’S A (ongoing) WRAP
It’s time to be WHO YOU ARE for another,
not who you were
or who you’re going to be
but just simply,
beautifully who you are:
A FRIEND
A Caring Catalyst
A FRESH BREATH
They’re my new favorite:
COCA-COLA TIC TACS
especially the ones that
just don’t come in
a plastic container
but the ones
that tell a story
and better still. . .
BRING A FRESH BREATH
I eat them by the handful
and I do so unembarrassingly. . .
I even had just popped a handful of them
when he came up to my window. . .
We don’t go to SWENSONS often
. . .maybe 4 or 5 times a year
and it brings you back to the late 50’s, early 60’s when you’d pull your car up, not to a drive-thru but an actual parking lot with your head-lights on so that some energetic waiter would come running to take your order. . .
That’s exactly what Alex did,
with more pep in his step than at loose kangaroo escaped from the zoo. . .
and that’s when he noticed my container of Tic Tac’s, not when I was mumbling our order through a mouthful of them. He said his favorite were the ORANGE ones (YUCKO–My least favorite They taste like ASPERGUM). When I asked him if he had ever tried THESE Tic Tac’s, he said he never even heard of them, at which point I reached into the back seat where I literally had a bag full of 8 other containers and I gave him one. It was like I had given him the key to a secret vault or as if he had never received a gift, at least one from a stranger, one he had come running furiously over to serve. He literally said,
“Uhhhhhh, I don’t know what to say!”
And I told him don’t say anything yet, because you may hate them, but at that very moment we both know we were no longer talking about a $3.49 container of Coca-Cola flavored mints. . .
When he brought our order back out with an ‘ahhh-shucks-kind-of-smile’ on his face we both realized that in the end he took much more than our order and got delivered more than what was ever expected. . .
That happened over two weeks ago and I knew right then I would be blogging the incident that already has been more a part of either of us than a quickly digested GALLEY BOY or the bad breath of an old sigh. . .
FRESH BREATH
comes unexpectedly most of the time
with one small kind act
and though it rarely costs little
it produces priceless moments
which kind of says:
If a single Tic Tac
can bring a Fresh Breath
I M A G I N E
what a handful can yield
D A R E
to find out. . .
FEELING THROUGH
I know. . .I KNOW
this 18 minute + movie is much longer than
most Monday Morning
THE CARING CATALYST
BLog Posts
B U T
Writer-director Doug Roland’s Oscar-nominated short drama — executive produced by Marlee Matlin and in partnership with Helen Keller Services — is a deceptively simple narrative that takes place over one evening between two characters. But this chance encounter — captured with visual storytelling that’s both natural, unforced and still deftly crafted — uncovers riches of empathy, along with a profound revelation about how people can offer fellowship, help and care to one another, even in the simplest of ways. . .
Openhearted and authentic, “Feeling Through” was inspired by the director’s encounter with a deaf-blind man, which likely inspires the deep sense of tribute and affection that imbues the storytelling with its warmth and sympathy. In a world and time in history more isolated than ever, this heartfelt short has an unexpected resonance, reminding us of a simple yet profound truth that we sometimes are in danger of forgetting. We are here to help and hear one another, to feel more and see beyond ourselves. In doing so, we enlarge the scope of our lives, widen our horizons and expand our hearts. . .
IT
rips down the not-so-tattered veil
of an old definition
and gives us a different meaning:
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
It really doesn’t matter
any more
WHO WE ARE
. . .It’s ALL about
making a Connection
that You
and any
A N Y
O T H E R
can make. . .
IF THESE PAST THIRTEEN MONTHS
haven’t taught us nothing else
isn’ it that
WE ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD
and
EVERYBODY NEEDS EACH OTHER
because there’s something raw in each of us
that needs
FEELING THROUGH
Better than JUST A Cookie
When is a chocolate chip cookie more than a cookie or better yet when is a chocolate chip cookie not one?
Like a lot of funerals that I have done, I never had a chance to meet Margaret; I didn’t know her. I never shook her hand, heard the sound of her voice or listened to stories she could’ve shared about her family and friends. But one of the things that her family shared about her was the love that she had for all of them and she showed it most of the time in her cooking and especially in her baking. A lot of times, her baking was literally for JUST BECAUSE reasons without a birthday or an anniversary or some special occasion. Margaret would just make cookies and and then made sure they were delivered. She could never do them anonymously because her’s tasted better than any other cookie than any other family member could make or share. It was one of the things that family member after family member talked about doing her celebration of life services.
A chocolate chip cookie is at its best when it ISN’T. A few weeks after the celebration of her life I was asked if I could conduct her graveside services after she had been cremated and out-of-town family could attend. Even though it was early April it felt like mid summer at 82° on a Saturday afternoon.
I’ve conducted a lot of graveside services where people will pull out the Jack Daniels or the Jagermeister do to a final shot and they’ll toast or light up to celebrate the person and their memory. Uhhhhh, not Margaret’s family, No, they broke open up case of her chocolate chip cookies that had been frozen and now baked by family. After we talked about how her life continues to be celebrated and goes on in each and everyone of them, they took to heart most awesomely what I told him the few weeks prior: “Take Margaret’s best and make it a part of yourself because just by doing that one thing, Margaret not only remains with them, but they instantly become a much better person.
So, in good Margaret fashion, they passed out cookies and made sure that I actually got a carton of them to take on my way.
When does a chocolate chip cookie not become a chocolate chip cookie? When love takes a memory and bakes it; and then even more powerfully and intentionally when love takes that very memory and not only bakes it, but shares it. It simultaneously brought an Ohhhhhhhhh to a Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
There are just some things mouths can’t taste but only experience. This batch of chocolate chip cookies did both.
The best chocolate chip cookie isn’t made or baked or even eaten; it’s the one that’s shared; and with that one act of love~~it’s the one that’s experienced and not merely digested.
Zzzzzzzzzing Better
How are you been sleeping?
It’s a pretty good question during the ever ongoing Pandemic
which has literally left us
at best
R E S T L E S S
Hey. . .
You want to sleep better?
(even if it doesn’t ever mean longer)
Here’s a few blinking hints:
Research suggests that practicing gratitude, forgiveness, mindfulness, and self-compassion may improve our sleep during these stressful times. . .
JILL SUTTIE a journalist for The Greater Good shares what it seems like we’ve been sharing with each other over these past 13 months.
A lot of us are suffering from lack of sleep these days. According the Centers for Disease Control, about 35% of adult Americans regularly get less than seven hours of sleep per night, with African Americans and other minority groups sleeping even less than that.
With the pandemic still in full swing, we may have even more sleep problems than usual. Worries about our health and safety, jobs, kids’ disrupted education, and more are keeping many of us up at night, creating fatigue and stress the next day. This could also lead to more serious mental health issues, like depression and even suicide.
Improving “sleep hygiene” is a good remedy—including going to bed at the same time every night, making sure your room is dark and quiet at bedtime, forgoing afternoon caffeine, and creating sleep-time rituals (like putting on cozy pajamas and reading a book before bed). But many people still suffer from sleep problems even after making these adjustments. And, though turning to sleeping pills can be effective, they can also be addictive, or they can disrupt our dreaming, which leads to lower-quality sleep.
Fortunately, there may be other things worth trying to help us sleep that have more to do with our minds than our bodies. Recent research suggests that many of the well-being practices we can do to be happier also have a positive effect on sleep. Here are some of those practices.
Mindfulness meditation
For the record, I’m not a big Mindfulness Meditation (or any other kind of meditation) guy. BUT, a recent analysis of several high-quality studies (randomized controlled trials) concluded that mindfulness meditation programs help people fall asleep more easily and experience better-quality sleep overall.
One study conducted in Wuhan, China, actually looked at how mindfulness might be useful for sleeping better during the COVID-19 pandemic. In the study, people spent 10 days using an app that either guided them through mindfulness meditation or induced mind-wandering (unfocused attention). They then reported how mindful they were and how much sleep they got the next day.
After taking into account other factors influencing sleep (like how much caffeine people drank, their age, or prior anxiety levels), the researchers analyzed how long people slept as the virus spread and deaths proliferated in their community. Those who practiced mindfulness and became more mindful didn’t lose as much sleep as those in the other group, likely because mindfulness protected them some from worry and rumination. Mindfulness helps people recognize and accept negative thoughts and feelings without fighting them, reducing their intensity and preventing them from spiraling out of control.
If you’ve not already tried mindfulness meditation, you can find many online resources to give it a go—including apps, which seem to be at least somewhat effective. You can also go to Greater Good in Action and try our practices—including a body scan, mindful breathing, or common humanity meditation. These exercises, besides potentially helping with sleep, have been found to reduce stress and depression and increase happiness and satisfaction with life, too.
Self-compassion
Self-compassion is something all of us could use right now, especially as lockdowns drag on and we find ourselves feeling more tired, unhappy, and unproductive than usual. Getting down on ourselves for perceived mistakes and flaws could exacerbate low-grade depression, which many of us already feel.
Self-compassion helps us to be kinder to ourselves as we go through the ups and downs of life. According to researcher Kristin Neff, self-compassion involves paying attention to our internal and external experiences (mindfulness), recognizing when we are suffering and sending kind messages to ourselves, and keeping in mind our common humanity—that we are not alone in our imperfections or suffering.
Studies have found that more self-compassionate people have better sleep, including less trouble falling asleep after a stressful day. In that study, people who were more self-compassionate were also in a better mood and felt more alert upon awakening than those with little self-compassion.
Self-compassion can be strengthened with practice, and that improves sleep, too. In one study, participants were asked to think about personal mistakes they’d made before going to bed and assigned to do a self-compassion meditation, a self-compassion writing exercise, or neither of those (as a comparison). Based on their reports the next morning, those who did a self-compassion exercise slept significantly better and ruminated less than those who didn’t try self-compassion. These practices even helped people who started out more depressed, which is good to know, given how many of us are ruminating more these days.
A new paper analyzing the results of several studies found there was “a significant association between self-compassion and self-reported sleep quality.” Though more rigorous studies could be done to confirm this, we can always benefit from practices like writing ourselves a self-compassion letter or taking a self-compassion break.
Gratitude
Feeling grateful is a good way to feel happier and strengthen our relationships. Now, it appears to help with sleep, too.
In one study, 119 young women were randomly selected to write about people and things they were grateful for each day, things that happened each day, or nothing at all. After two weeks, people’s sleep quality improved significantly in the gratitude group, and this helped improve their well-being and optimism and reduce blood pressure, too. In a recent review of gratitude exercises and their effects on physical health, researchers found that one of the strongest impacts of gratitude was on sleep quality.
One reason gratitude may affect sleep is that a grateful mindset seems to help us embrace more positive thoughts and let go of more negative ones before we go to bed. This means that it doesn’t take as long for us to fall asleep at night.
To try gratitude practices yourself, you might consider keeping a gratitude journal (or use the GGSC’s Thnx4 online journal) or writing a gratitude letter. These are designed to increase your positive thoughts and feelings, which may be key to better sleep.
Forgiveness
For some people, forgiving others is hard—especially if you equate forgiveness with letting someone “off the hook” and condoning their harmful actions. But those who study forgiveness consider it to be not necessarily about healing relationships between people, but mostly important for ourselves, helping us to let go of grudges that decrease our personal well-being.
If what’s keeping you up at night is holding on to grudges—pandemic-related or not—it could be worth considering practicing forgiveness. Though there is little or no direct research on how forgiving someone affects sleep directly, there is at least one study that found forgiving types were more likely to sleep better at night than others. Additionally, those who were more self-forgiving in the study also slept better because they were able to let go of mistakes they’d made more easily.
Forgiving someone can make us feel happier, more hopeful, less depressed and anxious, and less vulnerable to stress. And it can improve our relationships with others, especially our closest ones, which is important when so many of us have limited ability to interact with others right now. Each of these benefits is also tied to better sleep, which is all the more reason to try practicing forgiveness.
The nice thing about all of these practices is that they can be used alone or in tandem, and they don’t have undesirable side effects. Not only that, practicing these keys to happiness can have the desirable side effect of helping you become a happier, healthier person. That’s something we can all cheer about in these dark times. Just don’t try cheering right before you want to fall asleep!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(BIG YAWN)
Sleep Tight(er)
DESIDERATA
DESIDERATA
. . .Latin for
THINGS TO BE DESIRED
is a 1920’s Max Ehrmann poem
brought back to Life
and Music in 1971
by Les Crane
and even though the
poem is over 101 years old
and the song is 50 years old
it could have not be more
r e l e v a n t
today than when it was first written
or brought to music
because
NOW
as
THEN
and most likely
FOREVER
we constantly need reminding
You matter.
You’re important.
You’re loved.
Your presence on this earth
at this very moment
makes a difference
whether you see it or not.
A N D
so does every single person
you know
or meet
hate
or love
. . .THE BIG QUESTION
“When are you going to act like it?”
isn’t as important as the
GREATER ANSWER
the World is desperately waiting to
E X P E R I E N C E. . .
YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE UNIVERSE
NO LESS THAN THE TREES OR STARS
YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE
(and so does everyone else)
the next time
you refuse to sing
because you’ll never
fill a stadium
or decline the joy of dance
for fear of looking
ridiculous
or you resist risking
the new adventure
because you’re
not entirely ready or
you dim your shine
because you’re not
completely healed and whole
the next time
you hold yourself suspect
because you’re not
entirely qualified
just remember
a bird doesn’t sing
because it’s talented
a bird sings because
it has a song
the moon doesn’t only shine
when it’s whole
it can show up with
a single sliver of itself
and still light an entire
night sky
show up. sing. shine.
the world needs you
as you are.
© Angi Sullins – www.AngiSullins.com
(Thank you, Lynne Maragliano)
YOU, The Village
OVER ONE YEAR LATER
. . .We are literally living in some severely surreal times. . .
STILL
well past 365 days later
The World just doesn’t merely seem to be rocked on it’s axis
or upside down
But actually less Round than we previously thought. . .
and whatever it was we thought we knew
almost seems
myth-like
to what we’re feeling. . .
L I K E :
IT
TAKES
A VILLAGE
and not that it’s just a nice cliche
IT HAS NEW MEANING
We have all heard it said it takes a village to raise a child. . .
but what about an ADULT?
What’s it take to not so much raise but
CARE FOR
AN ADULT. . . ?
Because of our continuing
MASKING
PHYSICAL DISTANCING
HAND SCRUBBING
VACINNATING
We’ve never been less of a Village
than right now,
AND THEN AGAIN. . .
never more than
A Village
OF ONE
than NOW. . .
Who could have ever imagined,
even with all of our safety measures
that one person could be a Village. . .
that YOU are a Village?
It is true isn’t it. . .
Y O U
The Village
. . .How is that even possible?
Because now more than ever you are re-defining
overcoming the myth
you have lived with all of your life
The fib that’s been told to us
ever since we were very
very small
the lie that might’ve been the first lie
we ever heard:
That you have a purpose
That you have a reason
That you have a destiny
That you have a meaning. . .
T O D A Y
especially today
with what’s going on all around us
all that’s grumbling loudly within us
where our World feels like it has been
rolled down a steep hill
heading quickly for a cliff
of a dark unknown return
stumbling and rumbling out of place;
B U T
now more than
our ever
we are eerily discovering
that we were born for
THIS TIME
in THIS PLACE
for THIS MOMENT
THIS NOW. . .
And it’s not to be
For a Purpose
For a Meaning
For a Reason
For a Destiny. . .
It’s truly to be
A Village
YOU,
The Village
. . .because now more than ever
we have never been more
P L U R A L
than Who we are in right now. . .
Now more than ever
Y O U
are not just a Person
A Woman
A Mom
A Man
A Dad
A Partner
A Significant Other
A Uncle
A Aunt
A Grandfather
A Grandmother
You’re not just what your vocation says you are
you are all of those roles
all of those characters
wrapped up in one. . .
You are a walking
You are a talking
You are a living
You are a giving
V I L L A G E
YOU,
The Village
Now the most ultimate question of all
. . .especially for this new
N O W
is just what kind of a
Village are you. . . ?
Can you even be found on a map
Seen from a Satellite from way above;
Are you inclusive
Are you exclusive
Do you draw circles and include everybody
or are you a line drawer in the sand
that points as it emphasizes
you
You
and YOU
are IN
and
You
You
and most especially
Y O U
are out?
YOU,
The Village
are living in an age where the temporary feels like the permanent
but it most assuredly isn’t. . .
The new
NEW
is born in you
not just once
or once in a while
or even once a day
but every single moment. . .
And now
N O W
proves to us that it always has been this way
but never as magnified
as it is at this very
I N S T A N T
We have long heard the question
that determines whether or not we are
Optimists or Pessimists :
Is the glass half full or half empty?
N O W
Maybe another way to ask this question
Is this
NOW
Happening to us
or
HAPPENING
For Us. . .
It’s no longer
WHAT FILLS YOUR GLASS
b u t
WHAT EMPTY’S IT
(or WHO). . . ?
It’s not really a question to answer with your mouth
but your Actions;
so how live you. . .
not what say YOU
HOW LIVE YOU
YOU ARE A VILLAGE
To know it is one thing.
To be it is another.
But this
N O W
means to share it
is
the ultimate thing
. . .and then never let the
l o v i n g
stop from overflowing
from one
to another
until this
S E T T L E M E N T
becomes
YOU-NIVERASL
For BETTER or For WORSE
IT’S BEEN THAT KIND OF YEAR
. . .the kind of year that makes you a little afraid to look
or ask
ARE YOU FOR THE BETTER
ARE YOU FOR THE WORSE
The Rear View Mirror
speculation is already underway
and it may not stop for at least
a real good
LET’S TAKE A LOOK BACK
some fifty years down the road
but here’s what we kind of know
of the
FOR BETTER FOR WORSE
question just over the past
13 Months
of this still
not-completely-over-pandemic. . .
Fifty-seven scientists make predictions about potential positive and negative consequences of the pandemic.
IGOR GROSSMANN, OLIVER TWARDUS of the Greater Good Science Center compiled a kind of
“LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT THE PAST YEAR AND FIGURE OUT EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.” review.
How do pandemics change our societies? It is tempting to believe that there will not be a single sector of society untouched by the COVID-19 pandemic. However, a quick look at previous pandemics in the 20th century reveals that such negative forecasts may be vastly exaggerated.
Prior pandemics have corresponded to changes in architecture and urban planning, and a greater awareness of public health. Yet the psychological and societal effects of the Spanish flu, the worst pandemic of the 20th century, were later perceived as less dramatic than anticipated, perhaps because it originated in the shadow of WWI. Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud described Spanish flu as a “Nebenschauplatz”—a sideshow in his life of that time, even though he eventually lost one of his daughters to the disease. Neither do we recall much more recent pandemics: the Asian flu of 1957 and the Hong Kong flu from 1968.
Imagining and planning for the future can be a powerful coping mechanism to gain some sense of control in an increasingly unpredictable pandemic life. Over the past year, some experts proclaimed that the world after COVID would be a completely different place, with changed values and a new map of international relations. The opinions of oracles who were not downplaying the virus were mostly negative. Societal unrest and the rise of totalitarian regimes, stunted child social development, mental health crises, exacerbated inequality, and the worst economic recession since the Great Depression were just a few worries discussed by pundits and on the news.
Other predictions were brighter—the disruptive force of the pandemic would provide an opportunity to reshape the world for the better, some said. To complement the voices of journalists, pundits, and policymakers, one of us (Igor Grossman) embarked on a quest to gather opinions from the world’s leading scholars on behavioral and social science, founding the World after COVID project.
The World after COVID project is a multimedia collection of expert visions for the post-pandemic world, including scientists’ hopes, worries, and recommendations. In a series of 57 interviews, we invited scientists, along with futurists, to reflect on the positive and negative societal or psychological change that might occur after the pandemic, and the type of wisdom we need right now. Our team used a range of methodological techniques to quantify general sentiment, along with common and unique themes in scientists’ responses.
The results of this interview series were surprising, both in terms of the variability and ambivalence in expert predictions. Though the pandemic has and will continue to create adverse effects for many aspects of our society, the experts observed, there are also opportunities for positive change, if we are deliberate about learning from this experience.
Three opportunities after COVID-19
Scientists’ opinions about positive consequences were highly diverse. As the graph shows, we identified 20 distinct themes in their predictions. These predictions ranged from better care for elders, to improved critical thinking about misinformation, to greater appreciation of nature. But the three most common categories concerned social and societal issues.
1. Solidarity. Experts predicted that the shared struggles and experiences that we face due to the pandemic could foster solidarity and bring us closer together, both within our communities and globally. As clinical psychologist Katie A. McLaughlin from Harvard University pointed out, the pandemic could be “an opportunity for us to become more committed to supporting and helping one another.”
Similarly, sociologist Monika Ardelt from the University of Florida noted the possibility that “we realize these kinds of global events can only be solved if we work together as a world community.” Social identities—such as group memberships, nationality, or those that form in response to significant events such as pandemics or natural disasters—play an important role in fostering collective action. The shared experience of the pandemic could help foster a more global, inclusive identity that could promote international solidarity.
2. Structural and political changes. Early in the pandemic, experts also believed that we might also see proactive efforts and societal will to bring about structural and political changes toward a more just and diversity-inclusive society. Experts observed that the pandemic had exposed inequalities and injustices in our societies and hoped that their visibility might encourage societies to address them.
Philosopher Valerie Tiberius from the University of Minnesota suggested that the pandemic might bring about an “increased awareness of our vulnerability and mutual dependence.”
Fellow of the Royal Institute for International Affairs in the U.K. Anand Menon proposed that the pandemic might lead to growing awareness of economic inequality, which could lead to “greater sustained public and political attention paid to that issue.” Cultural psychologist Ayse Uskul from Kent University in the U.K. shared this sentiment and predicted that this awareness “will motivate us to pick up a stronger fight against the unfair distribution of resources and rights not just where we live, but much more globally.”
3. Renewed social connections. Finally, the most common positive consequence discussed was that we might see an increased awareness of the importance of our social connections. The pandemic has limited our ability to connect face to face with friends and families, and it has highlighted just how vulnerable some of our family members and neighbors might be. Greater Good Science Center founding director and UC Berkeley professor Dacher Keltner suggested that the pandemic might teach us “how absolutely sacred our best relationships are” and that the value of these relationships would be much higher in the post-pandemic world. Past president of the Society of Evolution and Human Behavior Douglas Kenrick echoed this sentiment by predicting that “tighter family relationships would be the most positive outcome of this [pandemic].”
Similarly, Jennifer Lerner—professor of decision-making from Harvard University—discussed how the pandemic had led people to “learn who their neighbors are, even though they didn’t know their neighbors before, because we’ve discovered that we need them.” These kinds of social relationships have been tied to a range of benefits, such as increased well-being and health, and could provide lasting benefits to individuals.
Post-pandemic risks
How about predictions for negative consequences of the pandemic? Again, opinions were variable, with more than half of the themes were mentioned by less than 10% of our interviewees. Only two predictions were mentioned by at least ten experts: the potential for political unrest and increased prejudice or racism. These predictions highlight a tension in expert predictions: Whereas some scholars viewed the future bright and “diversity-inclusive,” others fear the rise in racism and prejudice. Before we discuss this tension, let us examine what exactly scholars meant by these two worries.
1. Increased prejudice or racism. Many experts discussed how the conditions brought about by the pandemic could lead us to focus on our in-group and become more dismissive of those outside our circles. Incheol Choi, professor of cultural and positive psychology from Seoul National University, discussed that his main area of concern was that “stereotypes, prejudices against other group members might arise.” Lisa Feldman Barrett, fellow of the American Academy of Arts & Sciences and the Royal Society of Canada, echoed this sentiment, noting that previous epidemics saw “people become more entrenched in their in-group and out-group beliefs.”
2. Political unrest. Similarly, many experts discussed how a greater focus on our in-groups might also exacerbate existing political divisions. Past president of the Society for Philosophy and Psychology Paul Bloom discussed how a greater dismissiveness toward out-groups was visible both within countries and internationally, where “countries are blaming other countries and not working together enough.” Dilip Jeste, past president of the American Psychiatric Association, discussed his concerns that the tendency to view both candidates and supporters as winners and losers in elections could mean that the “political polarization that we are observing today in the U.S. and the world will only increase.”
These predictions were not surprising—pundits and other public figures have been discussing these topics, too. However, as we analyzed and compared predictions for positive and negative consequences, we found something unexpected.
The yin and yang of COVID’s effects
Almost half of the interviewees spontaneously mentioned that the same change could be a force for good and for bad. In other words, they were dialectical, recognizing the multidetermined nature of predictions and acknowledging that context matters—context that determines who may be the winners and losers in the years to come. For example, experts predicted that we may see greater acceptance of digital technologies at home and at work. But besides the benefits of this—flexible work schedules, reduced commutes—they also mentioned likely costs, such as missing social information in virtual communication and disadvantages for people who cannot afford high-speed internet or digital devices.
Amid this complexity, experts weighed in on what type of wisdom we need to help bring about more positive changes ahead. Not only do we need the will to sustain political and structural change, many argued, but also a certain set of psychological strategies promoting sound judgment: perspective taking, critical thinking, recognizing the limits of our knowledge, and sympathy and compassion.
In other words, experts’ recommended wisdom focuses on meta-cognition, which underlies successful emotion regulation, mindfulness, and wiser judgment about complex social issues. The good news is that these psychological strategies are malleable and trainable; one way we can cultivate wisdom and perspective, for example, is by adopting a third-person, observer perspective on our challenges.
On the surface, the “it depends” attitude of many experts about the world after COVID may be dissatisfying. However, as research on forecasting shows, such a dialectical attitude is exactly what distinguishes more accurate forecasters from the rest of the population. Forecasting is hard and predictions are often uncertain and likely wrong. In fact, despite some hopes for the future, it is equally possible that the change after the pandemic will not even be noticeable. Not because changes will not happen, but because people quickly adjust to their immediate circumstances.
The future will tell whether and how the current pandemic has altered our societies. In the meantime, the World after COVID project provides a time-stamped window into experts’ apartments and their minds. As we embrace another pandemic spring, these insights can serve as a reminder that the pandemic may lead not only to worries but also to hopes for the years ahead.
FOR BETTER OR WORSE. . .
that’s not really the biggest question, is it. . . ?
The BIGGER question is
FOR YOU
What’s been the greatest take aways
that’s made you list all of the
FOR BETTER’S
FOR WORSE’S
. . .that’s right,
WHAT SAY YOU?
(That’s what matters most going forward in your World History Book)
Has it been the kind of year that’s had you being more
Caring
Compassionate
Patient
Tolerant
Understanding
Forgiving
Accepting
Loving
Selfish
Self-Centered
Greedy
Hoarding
(fill in the blank)__________________________
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
It most likely won’t take 50 years of review
to figure
T H A T
o u t. . .
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