The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

A LETTER TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SELF

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IT IS GRADUATION SEASON.                .             .Yesterday, I had two granddaughters graduate from High School; unfortunately, one was in Wheeling, WV and the other here at the Stocker Center at LCCC in Elyria.  Erin and I split up as she attended Stella’s in Elyria and I headed to Wheeling for Ava’s.  Both of them made me think a little deeper as I have now graduated three separate times, watched my children graduate and now my granddaughters (with four more looming graduations in the future) all of which that got me thinking about their future and ours, a future, not even on our best days, we can predict.

The word commencement is derived from the French and was first used to refer to graduation in the 14th century.  (Uhhh, yeah, back when I was in school…SMILE).  It makes me think of a pediatric social worker who once told me, “Children love to anticipate.  They need something every day to look forward to in the short term and the long term.”  And I thought, “Gee, I like that idea as an adult.”  During these last 45 +years of ministry I’ve tried to make it my business to assure our folks that something good and exciting and needed is going to happen on a regular basis.  Do they feel it’s right and normal to graduate from old ideas and commence with new ones that help us grow and serve each other better?  It’s the season, so I wish all of you a happy commencement.

With Proms mostly over and High School Graduations very much on the the horizon, somehow this song, these words seem very appropriate.          .         .

Letter To My High School Self (Be Kind) By JJ Heller, David Heller, and Ginny Owens

I’m writing you this letter ‘Cause I’ve walked in your shoes I hope that you will read this When you’re feeling confused

The hardest part of high school Is living in between The person you’re becoming And the kid you used to be

Dizzy from highs and lows You can’t see which way to go I’ve been there too Here’s what you do

Be kind Be strong Believe You belong Love God Work hard Just be who you are

You want to feel important But don’t be fooled by fame ‘Cause everyone who loves you Already knows your name

And when you have a house someday There won’t be trophies on display There’s so much more Worth living for

Be kind Be strong Believe You belong Love God Work hard Just be who you are

Let go of the last times Celebrate the first times And keep your heart wide open

Be kind Be strong Believe You belong Forgive Yourself Don’t be afraid to ask for help Love God Work hard Just be who you are.     .      .
AND JUST WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SELF
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst.     .     .
THAT HIGH SCHOOL SELF
IS STILL HERE
Hopefully
L I S T E N I N G
L E A R N I N G
L O V I N G
(always loving, hoping for a little love in return and finding, having, keeping it)

THE PAUSE OF BEING OUT OF CONTROL

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Ok, here’s the Truth of my TRUTH.            .               .Uhhh.     .     .  I never have a shortage of words. I always have something to say ask Erin she’ll tell you I talk even in my sleep, but sometimes even though I have a lot to say there’s a lot more going on in my mind that I don’t say and even more in my heart that I can’t say so every once in a while, I run across something that says it much better than I can and when I find that at a moment that I’m not even looking for it, I share it~~ENJOY:

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD

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.          .          .And JUST LIKE THAT
it’s 2024
A NEW YEAR
Whether a new year fills you with excitement or dread (or maybe a mix of both!), the hope is that when you look back on 2023
there are too many wonderful moments to count
which serve has the greatest foundation
for new memories to be
m a d e.     .     .
ALL WAYS Remembering that

which are gentle reminders
between old and new years of

Letting us each know in between all of the Seasons
Past
Present
Prospective
“May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay forever young

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay forever young.”
And may you stay forever young.”
Photo in New York, by John Cohen (1962)

Here’s hoping
the New Year exceeds your expectations
and a tad past your
i M a G i N a T i O n

 

THAT CHRISTMAS MORNING FEELING

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Seriously what gives you that Christmas morning feeling?

Is it music is a family friends is it presence?

Is it all the food? Is it kind of anti-climatic by the time we get to THIS Christmas morning and all of the feelings have come along with it?

You know, there’s an answer to all of those questions.          .         .

Three simple letters
Y                O                U

What say
Y                  O                  U
May all of the Lights of this Day
be yours
to see
to be
to free
in you
for others
always for Others
so that all may know
That Christmas Morning Feeling

YES, PLEASE and THANK YOU

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T            H            I             S
is a picture that needs no caption
especially TIME of the year
when our already hectic lives go in to
C         H         A         O           S
m o d e
CRAZY ON STEROIDS.             .              .
where calm feels like just a word
but not a feeling
or another WAY.       .      .
which is why I dug deep into my files
and with the help of the
GREATER GOOD Editors
have provided some much needed
r e s p i t e
(IF YOU’LL TAKE IT TO HAVE IT)

Good Resources for Thriving Over the Holidays

Here are some articles that explore holiday stress management, managing conflict, picking gifts, making resolutions, and more.          .         .

The holidays can be rough—really rough at times; so here are literally dozens of articles and that try to help readers navigate the issues that arise when far-flung family members gather, everyone expects a present, and they all have an opinion. There are also some collected articles on making sense of this quickly-almost-gone-previous year and looking ahead to the new one. However you celebrate or are celebrated, here’s wishing you some severely-well-deserved-happy holidays!

Click to jump to a section:

Holiday stress management
New ways to think about gifting and celebration
The psychology of generosity and gratitude
Raising generous, grateful kids
Looking ahead to the new year

Holiday stress management

New ways to think about gifting and celebration

The psychology of generosity and gratitude

Raising generous, grateful kids

Looking ahead to the new year

It’s enough to just not get your wires crossed but to literally,
BLOW A CIRCUIT.            .          .
and here’s the biggest kicker of all,
it’s not that we don’t have the
R E S O U R C E S
of countless
WHAT TO DO’S
(uhhhhhhhhhhhh did you see how long this blog post is, already)
so much as utilizing them
plugging some of them in
and unplugging a few others
B                           U                          T
will you.          .         .

It just may be all of the difference between a really good or a really bad
h    o    l    i    d    a    y
(AND YOU GET TO CHOOSE.  .  .or let it CHOOSE FOR YOU)

NOT JUST ANOTHER DAY AFTER

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One of my favorite memories for years on end was one that I was never a part of.

It was always the day after Thanksgiving and very early after coffee and nut roll and a light breakfast, my sister, my mother, my grandmother, and sometimes my aunt would all venture either downtown, or in very later years, to the mall to do what to shop fericiously, even before there was a Black Friday.

And shop they did; they invented the phrase SHOP TILL YOU DROP, and they literally would come home exhausted with packages upon packages, most of them not wrapped because that was another venture, too. They would come home to what hungry people, mostly the kids and the guys who didn’t go shopping all day but sat around and watched football and waited and waited and waited for the girls to come home so that they could scarf down the reheated Thanksgiving dinner that we had the night before.  It was the same dinner and yet, somehow, it tasted better if that’s possible; maybe the tired but happy hands that prepared it was just the PINCH of that little something, something that made it taste better; no matter, it was delicious, even in memory form these 55-60 years later.

Why did it always taste better then?  Why would a memory like this bring so much peace when I wasn’t even a part of it?  But what I was a part of, the very fact of that feeling that it brought me when I can still hear the crunch of the gravel knowing that they were home safely and what was about the follow was another great meal even better family time and sometimes a game of trivia pursuit.  It defined fun in a way a dictionary never has been able to capture.  It brought peace in a way that nice ocean waves or a calm lake or a babbling. brook never could interpret.  And what it brought most of the time couldn’t be defined, or couldn’t be explained and even now barely understood, even all of these years later.  But the thought of it, the memory in my crevices, I can experience it all over again even taste it, so much so, there’s nothing that can be opened out of a can or brought out of a refrigerator or re-heated that equals it.

That was Thanksgiving in a way that didn’t just last a day or a weekend but continued throughout the season because we all knew what was going to follow: More shopping, the baking of cookies and yes, Christmas and better still the week between Christmas and New Year’s. It was a Wonderland that to this day transforms me to a WANDERLAND, one that you never wanted to wander away from. Even now I wander back into that amazing Wonder, not wanting to leave thinking, knowing nothing can ever compare or replace it.

So you see it’s not just a day after, it’s an everlasting day that was, that is, and thankfully right now, as long as my memory holds out, will always be.          .          .

As much as you JUST

celebrated THANKSGIVING

.         .          .and even though your Stomach might still be full,

I hope your heart is EMPTY enough to

truly continue this Season of

T     H     A     N     K     S
G           E          T          T          I          N          G

.          .          .may it be way better than you have planned

or    i m a g i n e d
(as you WANDER through your WONDER of yesteryears)

HAPPY VETERANS DAY

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https://youtu.be/aSYXlc89jxE

THEY DON’T ASK FOR IT
THEY DON’T REQUIRE IT
THEY DON’T DEMAND IT
BUT THEY MOST CERTAINLY 
DESERVE IT!

T H I S :
Extend your hand of
Liberty and Justice
for All
so that we can get back to being
U S
instead of finding ways to divide
U S
.           .           .it’s more than
JUST PAYING ATTENTION,
Class
it’s
PAYING RESPECT
and sincerely saying:
“THANK YOU”
Let us in our own ways
be grateful for those 
who served and have served
that we may too be of
s e r v i c e

THE SHADOW OF HALLOWEEN EVE

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It’s an annual BILLION DOLLAR BUSINESS that casts a large shadow on a lot of pocketbooks and wallets and there’s no hint of it ever stopping on this
HALLOWEEN  EVE
where things go bump in the night
and crash, boom, bam during the day
and the quickly falling shadows.          .          .
It’s amazing how we stand in our own shadow
and wonder loudly why it is so dark . . . .
THE SHADOW
I feared the most was
the one that could
hurt me the least
which made me fear it
all the more

The sound
The smell
The feel of skin crawling
hair raising on the back of my neck
itchingly
All SCREAMING
All YELLING
ABORT
BEWARE
R U N
All
just a shadow
caused something a Light
created but never clarified
An Illusion 
of what could harm me
but never will

N  O   W
that’s a Treat any Tricky Shadow can appreciate.       .       .

EASY TO SPELL: L-O-V-E

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L-O-V-E
John Legend

L-O-V-E, love
It’s easy to spell
 
And if you know it for yourself
Then everybody else
Well, they can tell
 
When L-O-V-E, love gets into your heart
It sparkles like a star
And everyone can see
How bright you are

Because love, love, love
Makes you feel better
 
Love, love, love
Keeps us together
 
Love, love, love
Warm like a sweater
 
Aren’t you glad to know that you’ve got
Love
 
L-O-V-E, love
It’s my favorite word
It sings out like a bird
The sweetest song I’ve heard
Sweeter than dessert
 
And L-O-V-E, love
It don’t cost a thing
It’s free for you and me
 
So you’ll give love
And I’ll give love
And we all can give our . . .
 
Refrain (& more!)

Can we celebrate L-O-V-E enough. 
I mean no matter how you spell it 
no matter how you find it. 
It’s how you experience it 
or maybe how you share it 
that makes the difference 
even now who would’ve ever thought that on September 9, 
you could celebrate Valentine’s Day 
when it’s not yet Valentine's Day 
when it’s so very much needed to be tap a foot
 or hum that tune 
reach out.          .         .
tell somebody that you love them 
that they’re appreciated 
and that they are the reason you’re smiling.           .          .
See~~L O V E 
it really is easy to spell 
and just as easy to share.         .         .

                     Give some Monday love

SHE MAKES THINGS GROW

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SHE MAKES THINGS GROW

All ground is fertile
and she proved it
by taking what had no life
L I V E
She makes my soul her soil 
when she digs deeply
and prunes, sharply 
The ache is more of a yearning
Ahhhhhhhh
than a moaning Owwwwwwl
She makes things grow
out of nothingness
an Everythingness
hardly without notice
but never unnotable 

This is a poem I wrote a little over a year ago.  Its title is the one for my sixth chapbook that I wrote as a result of the SPRING poetry challenge that demanded 15 poems in 10 days that couldn’t exceed 15 lines.  It had a different theme of the day where one or two poems could be written on that given theme.  The theme for this poem on this particular day was
E M E R G E N C E    

S  E  E  D  S
even in the most soiled of hands
have no chance of growing
no matter how warm the wish
or fervent the prayer
b     u     t 
BRING WHAT YOU HAVE
(who you are)
TO WHAT YOU’LL SERVE 
(who you love)
AND WHA-LA
You have a magical garden
S U R P R I S E
There’s no secret to a HAPPY MARRIAGE
I can’t give you the 12 STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS
But showing up each day
with the goal to be a
BETTER ME
for a
BETTER HER
has never failed me
and it has failed me horrifically
WHEN I HAVEN’T BEEN A BETTER ME
or at least not given it a better than
half of a chance.        .         .
OUR BEST TIMES
HAVE BEEN SOME OF
OUR ROUGHEST TIMES
(an ohhhh, there have been some severely rough times)
because soaked, shaken and jostled about
we’ve always ended up stronger, more invincible and
     C      L      O      S      E      R
SHE MAKES THINGS GROW
especially when I’ve given her 
some-not-always-wanted-manure
and yet
that served as some of the richest fertilizer
to some of the
greatest growth
that could never really been imagined
.      .      .only experienced
38 Years ago, 
on June 9, 1986
the day after we got married
we were laying by the hotel pool we had all to ourselves
talking about the future;
we both assumed we’d never see 50 years together
because of our ages
and then
like now
have never been bothered much by how much time we’ve got
because of the time
WE  HAVE
(and so the message that I usually include in each wedding ceremony
I conduct, is the message we’ve always taken to heart)
.          .        .Marriage is
HARD WORK
but it’s the best job 
you’ll  ever had.          .           .
I may have seemingly had The World to give
but Erin’s always had the grace to
bring me Home
We’ve been able to show each other
what we could have never seen alone.     .     .

SHE MAKES THINGS GROW
Pssssssssssssssssssssst:
Take it from a Drain
who’s been transformed into a
f      o     u     n     t     a     i     n.    .     .

 

 

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man