The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

SNICKERED

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Y         U         M        S
A simple SNICKERS Candy Bar
in the supermarket
is worth about $0.50 on sale.          .          .
The same bottle in a bar costs $1 in a vending machine
In an airport gift shop  or hotel it can be worth up to $3 or maybe even more.          .          .
The SNICKERS bar is the same, the only thing that changes is the
P       L       A       C      E  
Each place gives a different value to the same product.
When you feel like you are worth nothing
and everyone around you belittles you,
CHANGE  PLACES
DO  NOT
stay there.          .          .
Have the courage to change places
and go to a place
where you are given
the value you deserve.           .          .
Surround yourself
with people who really appreciate
YOUR WORTH.            .            .
Don’t settle for less!
and ABRACADABRA
You will find
YOUR MORE
will add to Some One Else’s
L    E    S    S.          .          .
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.          .           .
SNICKER
SNICKER

GIVING IN

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https://youtu.be/CZAz4NCUPck

NO JOKE. . .

Life can kind of get a little difficult
and busy at times. . .

It’s real easy to focus

just on ourselves

and not take time to

s t o p

to help others

(which is really one of the absolutely
unequivocally
s e l f i s h
things we can ever do, , ,)

b u t

when we give in to giving

it makes a universe of difference. . .

Just one little act of kindness

of actually being a real live
C A R I N G C A T A L Y S T

is one single act

that genuinely

c h a n g e s

the lives of the

g i v e r

and the

r e c e i v e r. . .

G I V E I N

to

G I V I N G

Tis The Season

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Well.       .       .

Is   it   better   to   GIVE

than it is to

RECEIVE.        .       .

IT  DEPENDS—

DOESN’T   IT.        .        .

I learned a long time ago

I’m not a really good

G  E  T  T  E  R

I   don’t   receive   well.          .          .

not even Compliments 

but   in   case   you   needed   any

here’s some inspiration.          .          .

o k

at  least

some  information:

The scientific evidence that generosity is good for us has been scant, even as the benefits of selfishness are obvious. Recently, however, a neurological study published in Nature Communications found there may be some biological truth to the maxim after all. The study showed that generosity changed the activity in people’s brains in ways that increase feelings of happiness, even if the generous act is small or only imagined.

Scientists at the University of Zurich and elsewhere began by recruiting 50 men and women and asking them to complete questionnaires about their current mood. They then were given 25 Swiss francs (about $25) once a week for the next month. Half of the 50 were asked to spend this on themselves. The other half were instructed to choose a new recipient each week on whom to spend the money. In other words, half the volunteers agreed to be selfish and the other half to be generous.

At the beginning of the study, participants slid into an M.R.I. machine with a computer screen that flashed hypothetical scenarios involving monetary gifts to a loved one at a personal cost. The M.R.I. recorded their brain activity as volunteers decided how they would react to each situation.

Afterward, the researchers again asked participants about their mood, especially happiness, and compared the results with the responses on the initial survey. Those who agreed to give away money reported feeling significantly happier than those who planned to spend it on themselves. They also made more generous choices during the M.R.I. testing, agreeing to more scenarios that came at a personal cost. And their brains worked differently, too. When the study subjects who had pledged to spend money made generous picks, the M.R.I. scans showed greater activity in a portion of the brain, the temporo-parietal junction, associated with altruism. And that portion of their brains was also showing greater functional connectivity, communicating more readily with another part of the brain, the ventral striatum, known as the brain’s reward center.

In effect, the pledge to be generous primed people to be more giving. There are probably evolutionary undercurrents to this process, says Thorsten Kahnt, who was a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Zurich and co-author of the study and is now an assistant professor of neurology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago. Our early ancestors might not have been so eager to share food and labor with one another, he suggests, if those actions didn’t entail some reward — including the potent, if abstract, reward of happiness.

In the month following the M.R.I. study, researchers provided the promised cash to each volunteer and checked in about its dispersal. For the most part, the volunteers who had agreed to give the money away did. Though the experiment lasted only a short time and involved only simulated gains and losses, Kahnt says that “it does show a mechanistic linkage in the brain between doing something nice for someone and feeling better about yourself.”

Here’s   a   suggestion:

Use yourself as the ultimate

Scientific Lab;

be  your own   lab    rat.       .       .

E            X            P            E            R            I            M            E            N            T

 for just the next 26 days:

(That’s right, just till the end of 2018)

G            I            V            E

without any expectation of anything in return

G           I            V             E

anonymously

G           I            V             E

freely

G           I            V             E

without any strings, threads, ropes, cables attached

G           I            V            E

without ands, buts, ifs, unlesses, excepts, or’s, untils

G            I            V            E

u n c o n d i t i o n a l l y

G            I            V            E

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.       .       .

after  all.            .            .

T i s    t h e    S e a s o n !

and  more.     .     .

it   could   be

l       i       f       e       c       h       a       n       g       i       n       g

for

y o u

for

a n o t h e r

f o r

a n

e   v   e   r

(uhhhhhhh,  that’s  way  past  a  SEASON) 

Simply be the Caring Catalyst

Y O U    A R E

 

 

SHINING LIGHTS

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It’s usually the first thing that comes to mind

when someone says:

H             A             N             U             K             K             A             H

Adam Sandler and his famous song.           .          .

now don’t be fooled,

usually it’s the SEASON OF LIGHT is

s           i           l           e           n           t

Sometimes the greatest message come with the tune without a lyric.  .  .

a      n     d

Sometimes it’s good to just listen to The Message that’s not spoken

but absolutely

H     E     A     R     D.          .          .

Hanukkah began  at sunset last evening.          .          .

mere hours a way,  still.          .          .

The message of Hanukkah is one that spans generations and touches on the very foundation of Jewish continuity; it began with Sunset last night;

Can    HANUKKAH

teach us all a lesson we really need to learn?

1. Even on the coldest nights, the menorah will always burn bright.

Credit: Dominic Alves.
Credit: Dominic Alves.

2. Our children will pass HANUKKAH on to their children, who will pass it on to their children . . . forever. . .

IF   WE   ACTUALLY   TEACH   THEM   THAT LIGHT   OBLITERATES   DARKNESS   ON   EVERY   LEVEL!

Credit: Mordechai Lightstone
Credit: Mordechai Lightstone

3. Even after the greatest destruction, we continue to kindles the lights.

Photo: Serge Attal/Flash90
Photo: Serge Attal/Flash90

Terrorists could not stop Rabbi Shimon Rosenberg from lighting the menorah in Mumbai, India, where his daughter and son-in-law had been murdered just weeks earlier.

4. It brings light, and light pushes away so much darkness.

Credit: Thierry Guez
Credit: Thierry Guez

The Jews in Paris, France, even after the most horrific terror attacks, were not frightened to live and celebrate as proud Jews.

5. When a small menorah stood for justice and freedom . . .

6. . . . even after all else was seemingly destroyed.

Jews in the Westerbork transit camp in Holland light candles on the seventh night of Hanukkah. Some 106,000 Jews, including Anne Frank and her family, were deported from Holland to death camps in Poland through Westerbork.

7. And we lived to see the lights return to illuminate the world once more.

A giant menorah is kindled at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin.

8. Brave young men and women risked their lives to ensure that Jewish people will live in safety and security in generations past . . .

Credit: Micha Bar-Am.
Credit: Micha Bar-Am.

Israeli soldiers around the Hanukkah lamp in the bunker on the Suez Canal, 1971.

9. . . .and on to the present day.

Credit: Meir Alfasi.
Credit: Meir Alfasi.

10. So that we may celebrate in freedom!

Hanukkah   &   Giving   Thanks

Hanukkah is a special time for us to say thank You for all the little and big miracles in our lives. When we look into the beautiful, pure flames of the candles we remember that no day is just another day. There are blessings around all of us every moment, just waiting for us to notice them.

This year during Hanukkah, consider the following three ways to say thank you. (And not only on Thanksgiving.)

1. Write a letter.

In a recent experiment, people were asked to write a short paragraph about someone who had transformed their lives. After they wrote the paragraph, the experimenter handed them a phone and told them to call the person that they just wrote about and read them what they had just written. Some of them didn’t know the number. Some people went to cemeteries to read their letter at the gravesite of the person they hoped could hear their appreciation. Others reached the person they wrote about and broke down crying as they read their words out loud.

Across the board, the participants’ happiness levels rose by as much as 20 percent just from this exercise. So try writing a short Hanukkah card or email to someone that changed your life. It’s best if you send it, but even just writing it reminds us how blessed we are to have inspiring people in our lives.

2. Keep a gratitude journal.

On each day of Hanukkah, write down three new things that you are grateful for each day. This trains our brains to search for the positive in our lives. After a month of keeping a gratitude journal, people begin to think more optimistically and clearly. They stop constantly scanning the environment for the negative, and they notice others’ strengths instead of their weaknesses. The half hour after lighting the candles is a special time for thinking about the new blessings of today. Share them with your family as you sit around the menorah. We look into the flames shining with hope, and we remember our own ability to turn darkness into light.

3. Act gratefully.

Do one small act of kindness each day of Hanukkah. Open a door for someone. Leave a note somewhere that will make someone smile. Pay for the person’s coffee who is behind you in line. Take a coat you never wear and give it to someone on the street. Give an anonymous donation. Smile. Send a Hanukkah gift to someone who needs it. These small actions increase our own feelings of gratitude and create a chain of kindness.

4.  JUST BECAUSE SOME ONE FOR THE NEXT 8 DAYS

Maybe you’ll be in front of someone in line at a drive thru Starbucks

You could be so creative with this.       .        .

whether it be

Send an anonymous gift card

or leaving an envelope of money

or bringing candy or cookies on the porch

or putting money in a parking meter of someone’s who’s about to expire

or being a SECRET SANTA when there’s no secret Santa Party.       .       .

Here’s the DEAL:

THE     C E L E B R A T I O N    O F     L I G H T S

can last way past 8 nights

or 365 Days

I     F

you  just  don’t  so  much  want

but  simply

A       L       L       O       W

Here’s the Simple Message:

Let’s not be about

L I G H T I N G     C A N D L E S

so  much  as

I  L  L  U  M  I  N  A  T  I  N  G        L  I  V  E  S

 T  H  E       L I G H T

Y   O   U      C   A   R   R   Y

I   S       A   L   S   O

T   H   E       B   E   A   M

Y   O   U       S   H   A   R   E

Light  a  Life

Warm  a  Heart

Illuminate  A  Soul

Obliterate  A  Darkness

S             H             I             N             E

Even    a  

 F        L        I         C        K        E        R

G          L          O          W          S  

The Last Brownie

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Well.     .     .

Would   you.       .       .

C  O  U  L  D     Y O U

win the  LAST  BROWNIE ?

I love this clip from Notting Hill

courtesy from Wing Clips

at the beginning of the week of

T        H        A        N        K        S        G        I        V        I        N        G

It’s an amazing scene, isn’t it?

Each guest sitting around the table trying to vie

for the last-very-much-wanted-Brownie

by telling their own personal tale of woe–

the very saddest of which

w     i     n     s

The Brownie.          .          .

So what’s    Y  O  U  R     Story.      .      .      ?

Would  you  focus  on

your  lack  of  income

your  lack  of  good  looks

your lack of incredible health

your lack of physical mobility or skills

your lack of a great relationship

your lack of professional standing

your lack of awareness of just how good you actually do

H     A     V     E          I     T  ?

Even  on  a  Thanksgiving  Week

it’s  sad  isn’t  it,

that so much of our lives are consumed with thinking

about what we Lack in LIFE

than all of the things we have overwhelming been blessed?

S          O         M         E         T         I         M         E         S

it actually takes a traumatic experience

or at least

a  severely  rugged  turn  of  events

to  make  the  mundane  blessings

we  usually  take  for  granted.     .     .

e      x      t      r      a      o      r      d      i      n      a      r      y

Like the familiar old adage:

YOU   NEVER   KNOW  WHAT   YOU’VE  GOT,  TILL  IT’S  GONE

So here’s the ultimate

T H A N K S G I V I N G    D A R E :

Turn   in

Y  O  U  R        B  R  O  W  N  I  E.       .       .

turn    it    in

for the Pumpkin Pie—

The   O N E  

You   G  I  V  E

with all of the trimmings

not optional–

ever again—

b u t

S       T       A       N       D       A       R       D

with the more-than-usual exception

that’ll  you’ll  exceed

e x p e c t a t i o n s

for everyone else’s sake.       .       .

Y          U          M !

Go  ahead–

Dish up another Serving.     .     .

O     U     T          t   h   a   n   k

everyone    you    know.           .           .

don’t   even   make   it

c     l     o      s      e  !

LADLE-LIVING

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Unknown

Some would say it’s the ONLY question.       .       .

Some would say  WE  all do it, but only with a small

“S”

Some would say.           .          .

What say  Y   O   U ?

It’s never really a matter of to serve

or not to serve

as much as it is

WHO’S       SERVING       WHOM?

I use to play a game each Fall when Youth Groups would get back together again from Summer vacation. A nice, kind of lame Ice-Breaker that would allow us all to get to know each other and re-acquaint with old members graduating and new members moving up. It went something like:

Are you more of a Mountain or a Valley?

Are you more of a Lake or a Ocean?

Are you more of a Forest or a Desert?

Are you more of a Jingle or a Symphony?

Are you more of Lion or a Lamb?

Are you more of a Ladle or a Bowl?

Even now as I read those examples, like you, I’m answering them, maybe in a different way that I did well over 30 years ago.          .          .

Hey, we’re  allowed  to  C H A N G E  aren’t  we?

And  although,

CHANGE    IS    THE    ONLY    THING    THAT’S    CONSTANT

and that it’s literally inevitable

and at times very exhilarating,

it still doesn’t always have to be obeyed or observed.          .          .

Anyone who practices any degree of

Ladle-Living

knows how absolutely the Benefactor

receives so much more than the Benefactor-ee.      .      .

Being in hospice since 1994, I’ve found that,

without a doubt,

I am one of the most selfish person’s I’ve ever met,

known

or heard of.          .          .

Once you not only POSSESS the Ladle,

but actually USE it,

without thought

or account of repay,

Life becomes a series of

G     I     V     I     N     G     S.          .          .

G  I  V  I  N  G  S

that are intoxicatingly addictive.       .       .

TRANSLATION:

YOU   CANNOT   GIVE   AND   NOT,

 N   O   T,

NOT   WANT   TO   GIVE   MORE,


a g a i n      a n d      a g a i n,     a n d      a g a i n.       .       .

So. . .

Are you more of a Mountain or a Valley?

Are you more of a Lake or an Ocean?

Are you more of a Ladle or a Bowl?

Are you more SERVING or SERVED?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm,

the     answers     that     need     no     pondering     are     the     most     truthful;

especially   since   we   KNOW   before   the   Questions   are   asked !

Here’s to a little more Ladle-Living for each of us. . .

even if it means make-shifting a handle

on the not so shiny bowl

we’ve been carrying around for way too long.          .          .

well  now,

that’s  a

CHANGE   THAT   CAN   BE   CONSTANT

.          .          .e  v  e  r  y  t  i  m  e  !

and    simply    remember    the    greatest    of    truths:

The Worst Thing Survey

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Hand in Hand

we go.        .        .

or not.          .          .

The survey won’t lie,

will it.       .       .

Are you ready:

What’s the worst thing someone could say about you

about your life’s vocational choice:

A)   YOU   DIDN’T   DO   YOUR  JOB

B)   YOU   DIDN’T   DO   YOUR   JOB   WELL

Maybe there should be a

C

category.     .     .

There are studies out there that basically states:

NOBODY   C A R E S.         .        .

We chronically confuse the feeling of effort with

the reality of results.          .          .

Psychologists have long noticed what’s sometimes been called

THE   LABOR   ILLUSION

and it kind of rains on your Labor Day Picnic;

The Theory:

When it comes to judging other people’s work,

we might say we’re focused only on whether they did a good job

quickly and well–

but really we want to feel they wore themselves out for us.     .     .

For me it goes back into my history

that has always had me believing

the harder I work,

the happier I make others.       .        .

It was how I first tired to impress my parents

and then my supervisors

and then my co-workers

and then my friends

and now.          .          .

So how do you answer the survey?

Would you be hurt if people called you lazy

if they accused you of not working hard

or would you take more offense

not working well

.          .          .or smart?

Maybe  there  really  should  be  a

C

option:

C)   HE       DOESN’T       CARE

Maybe that would be the most offensive thing

that could be said of you

your work

your ethic.          .         .

The old cliche

could hauntingly be true:

PEOPLE    DON’T    CARE    HOW    MUCH    YOU    KNOW

UNTIL    THEY    KNOW    HOW    MUCH    YOU    CARE

There was an actual survey taken

which posed the question:

WHAT   IS   THE   MOST   IMPORTANT   QUESTION
A   FOLLOWER   ASKS   OF   THEIR   LEADER?

You would think it would have to do with

vision

success

going somewhere

accomplishing something

some kind of

A     C     T     I     O     N

H            O            W            E            V            E            R

The most requested

and the number one question

of followers about the Leader was

DOES     THE     LEADER     CARE     FOR     ME

The survey showed that followers wanted to know more

about the fact that the Leader

C   a   r   e   d

than the fact the Leader was

C o m p e t e n t

or that the Leader

could take them to a higher level.          .          .

They just wanted to know

before they fell in line:

DOES     THE     LEADER     CARE     FOR      ME ?

So.           .           .

what say you?

How do you answer the survey?

A)  YOU   DON’T  DO  YOUR  JOB

B)  YOU   DON’T  DO  YOUR  JOB  WELL

C)  YOU  DON’T  CARE

Which would be the worst someone could accuse you?

Maybe the only way to truly to answer the Survey

is to merely

E  L  I  M  I  N  A  T  E           I  T

simply  being

A  Caring  Catalyst

enough to never even have to pose the survey

Maybe.           .            .

it just comes to down to your

i     n      t     e     n     t     i     o     n:

A)  MAKE MONEY

B)  SECURE BENEFITS

C)  S E R V E

or to just

unequivocally 

undoubtedly 

unhesitantly

untiringly

unendingly 

with every opportunity afforded,

and when an opportunity was present.     .     .

Y             O             U

created   i t

What  say  y o u ?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,           ,          ,

what   d o   you ?

 

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man