Much to ponder in this song performed by the award-winning Becky Buller. Let your mind paint the picture your Heart needs to see that'll give you more Heart and less attack. . . MORE HEART, LESS ATTACK Be the light in the crack Be the one that's been there on a camel's back Slow to anger, quick to laugh Be more heart and less attack Be the wheels not the track Be the wanderer that's coming back Leave the past right where it's at Be more heart and less attack The more you take the less you have 'Cause it's you in the mirror staring back Quick to let go slow to react Be more heart and less attack Ever growing steadfast And if need be the one that's in the gap Be the never turning back Twice the heart any man could have Be the wheels not the track Be the wanderer that's coming back Leave the past right where it's at Be more heart and less attack Be more heart and less attack Be more heart and less attack I stuck my hat out, I caught the rain drops I drank the water, I felt my veins block I'm nearly sanctified, I'm nearly broken I'm down the river, I'm near the open I stuck my hat out, I caught the rain drops I drank the water, I felt my veins block I'm near the sanctified, I'm near broken I'm down the river, I'm near the open I'm down the river to where I'm going (My thanks to Becky Buller and friends.)
THE MEANING OF LIFE IN TWO MINUTES
S O
do you agree
disagree
or do you have a better
two minute spiel. . .
Maybe what the World has been trying to tell us
not just NOW, but especially NOW
is that I really don’t care what you think
or what words you use
or how you arrange them
so much as
HOW DO YOU LIVE
how have you Verb’d them up for
O T H E R S
or maybe
N O T
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst
I don’t think you can tell the meaning of life in two minutes
IT JUST TAKES A SECOND
of your Caring Catalyst Self
to a Caring Catalyst Other. . .
FEEL BETTER
T H O U G H T S ?
DO ANY OF THESE STRATEGIES WORK FOR YOU?
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
Don’t tell anybody, but I turn to music to feel better in almost any situation, You?
(My thanks to Polly Castor for the graphic.)
FEEL BETTER
MUCH-NESS (Continued)
John D. Rockefeller, the founder of the Standard Oil Company, the first billionaire of the United States of America and once the richest man on Earth was asked by a reporter, “How much money is enough?” He calmly replied, “Just a little bit more”
Is John D. right? Is JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE, really enough or is there ever an ENOUGH-NESS that’ll satisfy. . .When Rockefeller was asked this question he had a net worth of about 1% of the entire US economy. He owned 90% of all the oil and gas industry of his time. Compared to today’s rich guys, Rockefeller makes Bill Gates, Jeff Besos, Elon Musk and Warren Buffet look like paupers; and yet he wanted
“JUST A LITTLE MORE.”
Maybe before we can know how much is ENOUGH, we’ve got to define
E N O U G H
. . .and dare consider
ENOUGH
is more than just an amount
(but also an attitude)
MUCH-NESS
HOW MUCH
is never a question
to be Asked
yet is always Answered
HOW MUCH
isn’t found in an
Enough-ness
Much-ness
is daring to Give
a More-ness
than you can expect
to ever receive in a
Getting-ness
MUCH-NESS
is when a
Giving-ness
means so much more
than a piddle Getting-ness
MUCH-NESS
takes on an unimaginable hue
that can’t be found
on a painter’s palate
but always at the end
of your Soul’s brush
waiting to paint anew
the landscape scene
that completes us all
as it becomes a
Giving-ness
eclipsing the horizon of any
Getting-nesses
. . .S O M E T I M E S
the shiny empty plate
waiting to be
SHARED
more than
PASSED
is all the
ENOUGH-NESS
necessary
I F
it’s indeed more than a
passing partaking. . .
May your ENOUGH-NESS be Another’s as well. . .
S P L A T
We did a lot of traveling last week, to Niagara Falls to Dayton with nary a time for a quick car wash and my car literally got BUGGED. The car wash couldn’t remove all of the mix mash of bug guts; it needed some more than unusual elbow grease and with sweating dripping down my face and slow diving off of the tip of my nose, I stood and wiped my face and THERE, there it was; a thought and then a flood of words that found its way into a poem, not just about bugs on a bumper and crusted across my windshield but about the randomness of our living and our dying; the vast unpredictability of
IT ALL. . . HENCE: SPLAT
Is it all willie nillie
some hocus-pocus predestinated Chance
A random bullet
Out of control car
Avalanche
Shark bite
A fallen tree limb
An elevator cable snap
Plane crash
All
wrong places at the wrongest of times
ALL so unmathematically
equating into a
SPLAT
No one ever sees coming
WE
like the Severely unsuspecting unnamed Bug
SPLATTED
It was never my intention to
harm, maime, Kill
Yet, just the same,
SPLAT
It ended up a glorious Yellow
but so very indistinguishable on my bumper
across my windshield
And Now
just like that
as I turned on the Shower
I spied a spider
frantically trying to get out
of the fast sucking swirlingly
towards the Drain—too late
for a rescue attempt
The Splat became a deadly Splash
Proving it’s always more than One Way
but always, still, A Way
S P L A T
What Pow, What Splash, What Kerplunk
SPLAT
Awaits us
If a bug, a flailing spider
not exempted
what of us
I don’t know
But make no mistake about
Knowing it does
AFTER LIFE
Tony had a perfect life — until his wife Lisa died. After that tragic event, the formerly nice guy changed. After contemplating taking his life, Tony decides he would rather live long enough to punish the world by saying and doing whatever he likes. He thinks of it as a superpower — not caring about himself or anybody else — but it ends up being trickier than he envisioned when his friends and family try to save the nice guy that they used to know. Golden Globe winner Ricky Gervais stars in the comedy series, which he also writes and directs. Mind you, THIS IS NOT PRETTY; GRIEF seldom is and what it is during this three season hiatus is downright PROFANE at times; UGLINESS at its worst and yet deep within its TRUTH. I have shown a clip or two from this show before which makes these series of clips a little different, a little difficult and hopefully, a little more digestible for that which is most distasteful for all of us…dare I say, ENJOY. . . ?
Hmmmmmmmm. . .
Maybe like Tony, there’s been some things in our lives that make us feel like him, that
“NOT CARING is a Superpower; CARING ABOUT STUFF; THAT’S WHAT REALLY MATTERS!” but we’re not a NETLIX episode or series that we can turn off or on or yes, put on PAUSE. . .
WE ALL COME WITH EXPIRATION DATES
which means we’re one DATE closer than we’ve ever been before
BUT THE GOOD NEWS
is that we can be more kind, more loving, more compassionate than ever before because knowing
THAT WE WILL EXPIRE
also means not so much postponing the DATE
but living lovingly today. . .
IF DEATH IS INEVITABLE
LET’S MAKE SURE OUR LOVING IS, TOO. . .
LIGHTING EACH OTHER HOME
This is a story I first heard from the gifted storyteller Laura Packer. I can’t say where it originated. I keep retelling it in my own way, because the world keeps needing to hear it.
In the beginning, there was only light and dark. During the day, the sky was bright white. No clouds, no blue. Just white. At night, the sky was completely black. No stars, no moon. Just black. And because this was the way the world was, you always stayed home. If you were ever caught far from your village when the sky went dark, you were never heard from again.
So, folks lived their entire lives in the same place, with the same people. And while they said they were happy living this way, in their heart of hearts they longed to see what they couldn’t see, to meet the people they suspected were out there but couldn’t meet. Yet they accepted that this was how the world was and would always be.
Then a certain girl came into the world. And this girl loved the world so much! During the white-sky hours, she’d explore and play as she wandered with her mother, gathering food for the family. In the black-sky hours, she’d listen to her father’s stories about the sights he saw while hunting around the village.
Each night, before she fell asleep, she’d say to her mother, “Mama, I want to visit other places. Please, will you take me? Can we go?”
And every night, her mother would say, “Oh, honey—we can’t! It isn’t safe. The world’s too dark. We’d get lost and never return!”
But you know how children are—how their dreams can creep into your heart and become your dreams too. So one night, when the girl asked, for the gazillionth time, “Mama, can we go? Please?” the woman said, “I’ll think about it.”
And she did. She thought for days as she gathered grasses and roots and berries to eat. She thought as she sat talking with the other women and as she listened to her husband’s stories. She thought as she wove reeds into baskets and thatched the roof of their house.
Then one night, while sitting with her family, gazing into the fire, she had an idea.
She got up and mixed water and clay. She made a pot from the mud. Then she made a lid for the pot. She placed these things in the fire and baked them until they were as hard as stone.
When the fire began to die out, she scooped up a potful of embers and covered it with the lid. She then lay down beside her daughter.
“Mama, can we go? Can we go?” the girl asked.
“I’m still thinking,” the mother said.
In the morning, the woman lifted the lid to look inside the pot. The embers were still glowing red. So that night when her daughter said, “Please, Mama, please—are you done thinking? Can we go?” the woman said, “Yes, in the morning we will go.”
As soon as the sky was white again, the mother and daughter packed up as much food and water as they could carry. They said their goodbyes. Then the woman took up her pot full of embers, and the two of them started walking.
They walked and they walked until the sky started to turn black. They stopped then and collected a pile of twigs and sticks. The mother poured out her embers on them. Soon they had a blazing fire. And when the sky was black-black, they sat around their fire, huddled as close as they could. From the darkness beyond their little ring of light came the growls and the howls of prowling animals. Just before they fell asleep, the mother put some live coals from the fire into her pot.
They woke up when the sky was white again. The woman dropped a few twigs into the pot to feed the embers. Then she and her daughter began to walk under the white-white sky. They sang and they told stories.
Just before the world went black-black again, they built another fire. They huddled close, listening to the night sounds and watching the sparks fly up.
Then the woman had an idea.
With the pot lid, she scooped up some coals from the fire. Then she flung them toward the sky, as far as she could. She was very strong, and those embers flew higher and higher until they stuck fast in the black.
And it was very good.
So the woman tossed up another lid-full of embers, this time back in the direction of their village. And those embers also stuck to the black.
Now her daughter wanted to try. Even she could send those embers flying. Before long, the way home was twinkling over half the sky.
Morning after morning, the mother and daughter continued their journey. And every night, they would cast more embers up into the sky, which was still black-black yet now sparkling as it never had before. The mother and daughter knew they’d never get lost.
After weeks of walking, they reached a village. The people there were astonished to see them.
“How did you get here?” they asked. “How did you not vanish in the dark nights?”
And the woman and her daughter showed the villagers the pot of coals. As soon as the world went black, they pointed out the path they had taken across the night sky.
“Throw some embers from your fires into the sky,” the woman told the villagers.
“Here,” her daughter said, “use the lid of our pot.”
And the villagers did.
The next day, the mother and daughter moved on. As they went, they always painted a shimmering path above them. And everywhere they went, they taught the people they met how to toss embers from their fires into the night sky.
So it is that we learned to light the way home for one another.
A LETTER TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SELF
With Proms mostly over and High School Graduations very much on the the horizon, somehow this song, these words seem very appropriate. . .
Letter To My High School Self (Be Kind) By JJ Heller, David Heller, and Ginny Owens
I’m writing you this letter ‘Cause I’ve walked in your shoes I hope that you will read this When you’re feeling confused
The hardest part of high school Is living in between The person you’re becoming And the kid you used to be
Dizzy from highs and lows You can’t see which way to go I’ve been there too Here’s what you do
Be kind Be strong Believe You belong Love God Work hard Just be who you are
You want to feel important But don’t be fooled by fame ‘Cause everyone who loves you Already knows your name
And when you have a house someday There won’t be trophies on display There’s so much more Worth living for
Be kind Be strong Believe You belong Love God Work hard Just be who you are
Let go of the last times Celebrate the first times And keep your heart wide open
Be kind Be strong Believe You belong Forgive Yourself Don’t be afraid to ask for help Love God Work hard Just be who you are. . .
AND JUST WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SELF
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst. . .
THAT HIGH SCHOOL SELF
IS STILL HERE
Hopefully
L I S T E N I N G
L E A R N I N G
L O V I N G
(always loving, hoping for a little love in return and finding, having, keeping it)
A CARING CATALYST AT LOSS
This nearly 68 year old man who has been ordained now for 43 years and a hospice chaplain for nearly 29 years and usually averages conducting 26 funerals every month, grieves. . cries. . .feels loss. . .has once-upon-a-time-don’t-know-how-I-can-go-on-kind-of-days; TRUTH! And some of the harshest losses I’ve ever grieved are some of our pets over the years. I never turn down an offer to do a pet funeral for not just children or young families, but lots of grieving seniors who find comfort in CELEBRATION OF LIFE services for their beloved pets. I like that my heart can be broken and never beat the same by some of the unconditional love my pets have shown me and how I’ve spilled my guts to them with things I’ve never told another human being.
So when I came across this story a couple of days ago, uhhhhh, yeah it took me back to a place where no pictures were necessary to do this sacred thing we call:
R E M E B E R I N G
Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words:Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her. She likes to swim and play with balls. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith
We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letterbox at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies.’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page were the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:
Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized her right away.
Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find. I am wherever there is love.
Love, God
Don’t say you’re too busy to Share this. Just go ahead and do it
Suspended Coffees You will all be happy to know this wonderful story is 100% true, please don’t take offense to the reference of God, it’s part of the story.
“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind.”
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
r i g h t. . .
So here’s the thing about Love. . .
It MATTERS enough that it doesn’t MATTER if it’s between Another person or yes, even a pet. . .
The Cost of Caring
is high
higher than any passing cloud
in any endless-looking sky
and yes, better still,
P R I C E L E S S
Psssssssssssssssssssssst:
Make
T H A T
investment
the
R O I
is out of this world
(literally)
O T H E R W I S E
Jane’s poem and some commentary of it has found me twice in less than a week which shouts:
PAY ATTENTION
and
S H A R E
Have you ever had some
OTHERWISE
moments. . . ?
While in the recovery room from a colonoscopy a very kind and attentive nurse told me I should get a mole checked on my shoulder. I did. But the mole I got checked was fine but there were two others ones that were discovered because of that visit that were not; they were successfully removed after being discovered that were cancerous. . .but it could have been OTHERWISE
* * *
I suffered through a agonizing night of urinary retention which resulted in an early morning Emergency Room visit before a busy day of two funerals and a wedding; while the young nurse was catheterizing me, she asked me what I did for a living and when I told her among other things, I was a hospice chaplain, she asked me what hospice and when I told her Hospice of the Western Reserve, she stopped and looked down at me and told me that her daughter of 8 months had been on our services and had recently died from brain cancer. It was her first day back after her daughter’s death and her taking off three months to grieve her. As we were finishing up with paperwork she asked me, “How did you know that I needed you to come in today? I told her at that moment being there for both of us was the only thing that made sense and that we helped each other. . .but it could have been OTHERWISE
* * *
I had a stye on my eyelid but in my mind it had to be cancerous that would cause a hideous deforming blindness and as luck would have it the eye doctor was open late on this Monday night and had an opening for me. He confirmed that it was a simple stye and could be managed with some hot compresses. I told him I hadn’t been to see him in the 20 years that I’ve had success lasik eye surgery but then thought but there’s other reasons to visit him just to make sure my eyes were in good shape. Tests were run and it was determined I have a cataract in both eyes that will eventually need repairing and pressure in both eyes that indicate early detection of glaucoma. It was a less than a routine visit for a stye that could have easily been taken care of by Dr Google and it could have been OTHERWISE
* * *
What’s been your OTHERWISE moment? Like the poet, Jane Kenyon, to be sure we all have those OTHERWISE moments, most likely more than we pay much mind. “ONE DAY” as Jane says at the end of her poem, “IT WILL BE OTHERWISE”
One day, for a sure certainty, there will be a visit that will leave me so very much different coming out than when going it, if I come out at all, and I will not so much fall as drift softly into the arms of whatever’s next–a world that can’t be glimpsed from here. . .
But until that Sunrise that’ll never set I hope that I, and sincerely hopefully, like you, we will truly rejoice in the happy OTHERWISE-NESS of being alive, of being here, NOW