The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

NO WORDS

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Sometimes.          .          .

n o    w o r d s

are the best sentiments that can ever be stated.       .       .

John Prine’s
SUMMER’S   END
found me

this past week

b      e      t      w      e      e      n

multiple bombs in the mail

Six Celebration of Life Services I conducted
(one was an overdose of a father of three)

and the brutal shooting and death of 11 at a Pittsburgh Synagogue

COME  ON  HOME,
COME  ON  HOME,
YOU  DON’T  HAVE  TO  BE  ALONE,
JUST  COME  ON  HOME

Psssssssssssssssssssssssst:

PEACE     JUST     DOESN’T     HAPPEN

I  T      B  E  C  O  M  E  S

and  I
(w e)

usher it

(OR  NOT)

COME  ON  HOME,
COME  ON  HOME,
YOU  DON’T  HAVE  TO  BE  ALONE,
JUST  COME  ON  HOME

 

 

REAL COMMUNION

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R    E    A    L            C    O    M    M    U    N    I    O    N

.          .          .What is real  communion.        .         .

When I met her, she asked me to bring her  real communion  and I ask her what is real communion, and she said, “you know the one with wine not with grape juice.” 

It started off an explosion of ideas and memories in me:

a little girl who asked me during a Junior Sermon one Sunday, “When can I have some of that ‘Jesus Juice’

a Deacon offering me the Cup during a recent Mass at an inpatient Hospice unit

a Eucharistic Minister who knew I wasn’t Catholic offering me Communion on a Maundy Thursday during Holy Week

catching a kid taking a hand full of Communion wafers and eating them like tic-tacs

But  mostly:

what  is  r e a l   c o m m u n i o n ?

is it actually symbolic of a piece of bread or broken bread or a way for symbolizes the broken body of Christ.       .       .

is a great juice is it real wind it symbolizes the shed blood of Christ.       .       .

Is it something less religious maybe even more spiritual.       .       .

is it the first time my father looked into the eyes of his newborn child.          .          .

is it the first time a new mom successfully Breast feeds her baby

Is it a couple on their wedding day sharing a Ritz cracker and a sip of Ginger ale because that’s what they shared on their first date in the park

is it a grandmother, literally tearing a loaf of bread in half and passing a piece each of their grandchildren on a picnic and explaining it doesn’t matter how big the piece is as long as it’s a shared piece.          .          .

is it the unspoken language between a husband and a wife of 50+ years sharing that one last look before one of them dies.          .          .

 What.          .          .

What  is  Real  Communion?

And who.          .          .

Who can have it.          .          .

Who can share or distribute it?

Probably safe to say, huh,

there are many different meanings

there are many different definitions

of what exactly is REAL  COMMUNION

is the definition that you give to it

and maybe even greater still

the Priest you are WHO Share it.          .          .

Whatever  Real  Communion  is to you

~~define it~~

share it~~

live it~~

be it…

because whatever real  communion  is,

it’s not a solitary confinement

or singular act

it ultimately is a shared experience

between you and another person

or a group of likeminded OTHERS

and if it’s not SHARED

then  it’s  not  REAL COMMUNION

~~ it’s THEN whatever it is you define as it’s exact snd complete opposite

Maybe the universal definition of real  communion is merely:

The hand who serves

r e a c h i n g

for the hand who receives

and simply

t o u c h

c o n n e c t

h o l d

(repeatedly)

The hand who serves is most like the hand who receives

only when it’s

e             x             t             e             n             d             e             d

Maybe

R E A L     C O M M U N I O N

it’s not so much

something you choose as much as

Y      O      U           L    I    V    E
(As   you   are)

R I C H E R

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Everything You Know About the Fate

of  Lottery Winners Is Probably Wrong,

According to Science

ARE YOU.         .          .

Are you more

R           I           C           H           E           R

This morning

than you were yesterday morning?

Y        E        S        T        E        R        D        A        Y     ‘     S

Mega Millions jackpot has gone up to a record-breaking $1.60 BILLION and TONIGHT’S  Powerball will have a drawing of a mere $620 million jackpot. A winning ticket for either lottery will be life-changing, but some of the popular theories about the fate of lottery winners aren’t necessarily accurate, according to a study published in May.

The study, published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, examined 3,362 Swedish lottery winners who scored at least $100,000, and surveyed them about their well-being five to 22 years after they hit the jackpot.

The study was conducted in Sweden and the lottery prizes were not in the high millions, but New York University economics professor Dr. Daniel Cesarini – a co-author of the study – says he does not believe the results would differ significantly if he were to study Americans who won multi-million dollar prizes.

“The prizes for the Mega Millions are way bigger that anything we studied. We looked at people who won up to $2 million,” he said. “I’m sure that people who win much larger prizes wrestle with certain challenges that you wouldn’t wrestle with if you win a $1 million.”

Cesarini also believes his work with Swedish lottery winners is likely to be broadly applicable. He says a different study of American lottery winners showed similar reactions to his findings.

“It’s hard to say if the results would be different if we conducted the study in America,” he said “My guess would be that the results would not be radically different. There are some ways in which money might help in the United States compared to Sweden, for example heath care, but I would not be shocked if someone did a similar study in the U.S. and reached broadly similar conclusions, but there are some reasons to expect in certain ways results could differ.”

Here are some misconceptions about the fate of lottery winners that Cesarini’s study appears to debunk.

People    who    win    big    lottery    jackpots    blow        their    money    in    a    few    years

Cesarini tells TIME MAGAZINE that a common misconception is that the more a person wins in the lottery, the more likely he or she is to spend it all.

An often-cited — but incorrect — anecdote about lottery winners falsely attributed to the National Endowment for Financial Education claims that about 70% of people who suddenly receive a windfall of cash will lose it within a few years. In January 2018, the National Endowment for Financial Education set the record straight and said that statistic was not backed up by any of their research.

Examples of the “curse of the lottery” abound – from the West Virginia man whose daughter and granddaughter died of overdoses after he won $315 million in 2002, to the Kentucky man who claimed a $21 million prize in 2001 and lost it all by 2006.

Cesarini says he and his fellow researchers found that lottery winners who won larger sums of up to $2 million actually retained their wealth well over a decade after the jackpot.

“We saw that people who won large sums of money were still wealthier 10 years after the fact, compared to people who won small sums of money,” he says. “Also, if you look at things like labor supply – the people who win large sums of money do cut down on work but it’s quite rare for them to quit altogether. They cut down mostly in the form of taking longer vacations.”

Cesarini says people expect that a lot of winners immediately squander their wealth, but that is rare.

He adds: “What we see consistently is that they work a little bit less, but they spend the money quite intelligently. But that’s not to say that nobody has wrestled with self-control problems and using the money in ways that are not conducive to their best interest. But, I think that their behavior is a lot more governed than you might believe if you’re reading popular accounts of what happens.”

Researchers found happiness and mental health for people who won at least $100,00 in the lottery did not change significantly, but contrary to popular belief there was no proof it made any of the participants less happy.

Overall, the money won led to positive long-term satisfaction, and researchers found that there was a connection between a financial life satisfaction and long-term overall life satisfaction.

“Large-prize winners experience sustained increases in overall life satisfaction that persist for over a decade and show no evidence of dissipating with time,” the study said.

People who win the lottery are happier every day

Researchers in this study measured life satisfaction by asking about participants’ feelings of their overall life quality. Happiness was measured by asking about day-to-day feelings.

Cesarini says to study happiness, researchers asked participants questions like, “Do you smile a lot?” “Do you laugh a lot?” or “Do  you  feel  happy  today?”

Where it did make a difference was life satisfaction. Researchers got at that by asking things like, “How happy are you with family and friends?” or “How happy are you with your finances?”

“We asked people about life satisfaction overall, an evaluative measure, and that’s where we saw the strongest effects of lottery wealth,” Cesarini says. “We also asked about their happiness, and for happiness we found there’s no strong evidence that lottery winners are happier in the long run, but there is strong evidence that they are more satisfied with their lives in the long run.”

So.          .          .

Did    you    win?

Did     you     even     play?

ARE      YOU       RICHER     TODAY

THAN        YOU        WERE       YESTERDAY

d o e s      i  t.          .          .

d     o    e    s          i     t

h  a  v  e        a  n  y  t  h  i  n  g        t  o        d  o       w  i  t  h

m                      o                         n                         e                         y    ?

R  E  A  L       C  H  A  N  G  E

has little to do with the jingle in your pocket

than it does with the

Love
Kindness
Compassion

in your

 Heart.          .          .

P       R       O       V       E
I     T

 

Just a Minute, NOW

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It might be an over simplification of things

O  R        N  O  T;

Bad   Days   Happen

but

Good      Days      Remain

and it’s not the bad things that remain forever
(it   only   feels   like   it)

so   much   as   the   good 

that   overshadows   them; 

It’s   true

when the storm comes

the hurricane destroys

the tornado uproots

the fire incinerates

the flood sweeps away

the blizzard immobilizes

just a minute, now

r e c o g n i z e

n o t i c e

s  e  e

the sun shines warmly

the cool breezes soothe

the candle flickers and glows out darkness

the gentle ocean waves hypnotize

so though it may sound

severely simple

watch a baby smile

smell some fresh baked cookies

listen to your favorite play list

call a friend

send an anonymous gift

Just    a    minute,   now

BE  FOR  SOMEONE

WHAT   YOU   NEED   MOST   FOR   YOURSELF

Just    a    minute,   now

watch the world change

as the way you
                          SEE
                          SMELL
                          TOUCH
                          HEAR
                          TASTE
                          EXPERIENCE 

c         h         a         n         g         e         s

in just a minute

n                    o                    w

 

The Memories That Never WERE

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Thomas Lynch wrote this award worthy book

back in 2009

and has written several since then,

including some fascinating fiction

surrounding

dying
death
the afterlife 

and not only revealed

 uncovered some of the mystique

but made

D            E            A            T            H

fascinating

After all of these years my favorite

underlined, 
yellow-high-lighted
well-worn-dog-ear’d page

from his book:

T H E       D E A D       D O N ‘ T       C A R E ,
B U T       T H E Y       M A T T E R

They  say

d     e     a     t     h

is so many different things

but make no mistake about this

I   T

I       T    ‘    S

not so much

an

!
(exclamation point)

I  T

absolutely is not a

.
(a period)

where all the words of been said

all the books have been written

and here’s the end.          .          .

it’s not even so much of a

?
(a question mark)

That sums up all of the wise

how comes

they why’s

the what for’s

as   IT   is   a

,
(a Comma)

maybe even a

(semicolon)
;

at best because there’s more

there is so very

v            e            r            y

much more

.          .          .and here’s the deal

you don’t have to bet your life on

I  T

I  T  

just happens and what is

I   T  

The

I    T

is really nothing more than just an ever lasting.      .     .

An ever endless after
and   it’s   better   than   good

wrote a friend for a friend who reminds us

that even though there’s

For Better, For Worse
For Richer, For Poorer
In Sickness, In Health
To Love, To Cherish

there never really is

TILL     DEATH     DO     US     PART

and it’s not only

ok

It’s   FANTASTICALLY

L     I     F     E            G     I     V     I     N     G

Here’s the thing about

M E M O R I E S

They’re overrated

They mean absolutely nothing

They have no meaning

no power

u n t i l

Love is attached to them

It’s not so much that the dead have a voice
or language of their own
so much is the love that is made the memories
everything that they were
everything that they are
and everything that they’ll continue to be.     .     .

TO  THE  LIVING I  AM  GONE
TO  THE  SORROWFUL  I’LL  NEVER  RETURN
TO  THE  ANGRY  I  WAS  CHEATED
TO  THE  HAPPY  I’M  AT  PEACE
TO  THE  FAITHFUL  I’VE  NEVER  LEFT

SO  AS  YOU  LOOK  UPON  A  SEA
OR  SEE  A  FLOWER  
REMEMBER ME

REMEMBER  ME
IN  YOUR  THOUGHTS
IN  YOUR  HEART

OF THE TIMES WE FOUGHT
THE  TIMES  WE  CRIED
THE  TIMES  WE  LAUGHED
THE  TIMES  WE  LOVED

IF  YOU  ALWAYS  THINK  OF  ME
I    WILL  HAVE  NEVER  GONE

THE  MEMORIES  THAT  NEVER  WERE

are some of the most powerful

m e m o r i e s

that there ever can be

mostly because we add strength

to their muscle

with the force of

WHAT  IF

Roger Rosenblatt wrote in his book KAYAK MORNING,

“GRIEF  COMES  TO  YOU  ALL  AT  ONCE, SO  YOU  THINK  IT  WILL  BE  OVER ALL  AT  ONCE,  SO  YOU  THINK  IT  WILL   BE  OVER  ALL  ONCE.  BUT  IT  IS  YOUR  GUEST  FOR  A  LIFETIME. . .AND  HOW  SHOULD  I  TREAT  THIS  GUEST?  THIS  UNWELCOME,  UNINVITED  GUEST?  THINK  OF  THE  ONE  WHO  SENT  IT  TO  YOU!”

It’s great to remember

It’s awesome to dream

It’s better to live

to create

to make 

memories

that continue to live on

way past

death

into

a  forever

m  o  r  e.          .          .

GRAVES  WERE  NEVER  MEANT  FOR  OUR  MEMORIES  OR  OUR  LOVE
(dig.       .      .D I G      D E E P E R)

O Happy DAY (s)

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I s   H A P P I N E S S

a l l   t h a t

H     A     P     P     Y

4 lessons from the longest-running

                    study on happiness

                          gives us a hint.  .  .

Stocksy

Essential, data-derived advice for leading a happy, healthy life, shared by researcher and psychiatrist Robert Waldinger.

Have you ever wished you could fast-forward your life so you could see if the decisions you’re making will lead to satisfaction and health in the future? In the world of scientific research, the closest you can get to that is by looking at the Harvard Study of Adult Development — a study that has tracked the lives of 724 men for 78 years, and one of the longest studies of adult life ever done. Investigators surveyed the group every two years about their physical and mental health, their professional lives, their friendships, their marriages — and also subjected them to periodic in-person interviews, medical exams, blood tests and brain scans.

With a front-row seat on these men’s lives, researchers have been able to track their circumstances and choices and see how the effects ripple through their lives. Psychiatrist Robert J. Waldinger, the study’s director and principal investigator, shared some of the major lessons in a popular TED Talk (What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness). He says, ”We’d been publishing journal articles with our findings for 75 years, but we publish in journals about lifespan developmental research that few people read. The government has invested millions of dollars in the research, so why keep it a secret?”

The big takeaways from that talk: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier, and loneliness kills. But there were, of course, many more lessons to be learned — the study has yielded more than 100 published papers so far, with enough data for “scores more” — and Waldinger shares four of them here. 

1. A happy childhood has very, very long-lasting effects.

Having warm relationships with parents in childhood was a good predictor you’ll have warmer and more secure relationships with those closest to you when you’re an adult. Happy childhoods had the power to extend across decades to predict more secure relationships that people had with their spouses in their 80s, as well as better physical health in adulthood all the way into old age. And it’s not just parental bonds that matter: Having a close relationship with at least one sibling in childhood predicted which people were less likely to become depressed by age 50.

2. But … people with difficult childhoods can make up for them in midlife.

People who grow up in challenging environments — with chaotic families or economic uncertainty, for instance — grew old less happily than those who had more fortunate childhoods. But by the time people reached middle age (defined as ages 50–65), those who engaged in what psychologists call “generativity,” or an interest in establishing and guiding the next generation, were happier and better adjusted than those who didn’t. And generativity is not dependent on being a parent — while people can develop it by raising children, they can also exhibit it at work or other situations where they mentor younger adults.

3. Learning how to cope well with stress has a lifelong payoff.

We’ve all developed ways of managing stress and relieving anxiety, and Waldinger and his team have found that some ways can have greater long-term benefits than others. Among the adaptive coping methods they examined are sublimation (example: you feel unfairly treated by your employer, so you start an organization that helps protect workers’ rights), altruism (you struggle with addiction and help stay sober by being a sponsor for other addicts), and suppression (you’re worried about job cuts at your company but put those worries out of mind until you can do something to plan for the future). Maladaptive coping strategies include denial, acting out, or projection. The Harvard researchers found the subjects who dealt with stress by engaging in adaptive methods had better relationships with other people. And their way of coping had a cascade of beneficial effects: It made them easier for others to be with, which made people want to help them and led to more social support, and that, in turn, predicted healthier aging in their 60s and 70s. Added bonus: people who used adaptive mechanisms in middle age also had brains that stayed sharper longer.

4. Time with others protects us from the bruises of life’s ups and downs.

Waldinger has said “it’s the quality of your relationships that matters” is one significant takeaway from the study. Well, the researchers have found that quantity counts, too. Looking back on their lives, people most often reported their time spent with others as most meaningful, and the part of their lives of which they were the proudest. Spending time with other people made study subjects happier on a day-to-day basis, and in particular, time with a partner or spouse seemed to buffer them against the mood dips that come with aging’s physical pains and illnesses.

Waldinger continues to marvel at the researchers’ findings, even though he freely acknowledges how skewed their research group is — “it’s the most politically incorrect sample you could possibly have; it’s all white men!” (In fact, the group originally included John F. Kennedy.) With “only a handful” of the original subjects left to study, the Harvard team is now moving on to the men’s 1,300 children who’ve agreed to participate (a group that’s 51 percent female). But he’s painfully aware that the proposed cuts to the National Institutes of Health could end even their long-running study. “Our kind of research might be one of the first projects to go. Our work is not urgent; it’s not the cure for cancer or Alzheimer’s,” he says. “But we have a way of understanding human life that you can’t get anywhere else and it lays the foundation for important, actionable things.”

So maybe here’s the most important question of all:

A R E     Y O U     H A P P Y ?
or   maybe   it’s   not   the   question   at   all.          .          .
IT’S     YOUR     ANSWER.          .          .

A STAR IS BORN

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Top selling movie over the past couple of weeks.          .          .

A third remake of

A               S  T  A  R            I  S          B  O  R  N

The worst thing about

A            S  T  A  R            I  S            B  O  R  N

isn’t a movie critic’s bad review

or petty criticisms.          .          .

The worst thing about

A            S  T  A  R            I  S            B  O  R  N

is     N  O  T

r            e            c            o            g            n            i            z            i            n            g 

the STAR  BORN  IN  YOU

never quite noticing

or passing over

d i s r e g a r d i n g

your talents

your dreams

your aspirations

your essence

Because of Someone Else’s

o p i n i o n

or lack of one

about youYou are not a firecracker

that’s mere lit and momentarily sparkles

or a nub of a candle almost burnt out

so      much      as      a

d                 i                 a                 m                 o                 n                 d

s  h  i  n  i  n  g         a   l   w   a   y   s

refusing to be seen

or  s h o w n

.          .          .d     i     s     p     l     a     y     e     d

Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:

O  P  E  N          Y  O  U  R          E  Y  E  S

BE     BLINDED

BY     YOUR     OWN

L               I               G               H               T

and then

S               H               I               N               E

e  v  e  n      b  r  i  g  h  t  e  r

 

 

YOUR OBITUARY

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He was just 69, was stamped “Return to Sender” Tuesday, October 2, 2018.  .  .     

and so his

O  B  I T  U  A  R  Y

began.           .          .

How would you begin yours?

How would you let it unfold

and exactly who would you want to read it?

Here’s how his continued:

He was born May 10, 1949, in Ellwood City and he attended Seneca Valley High School and graduated from Slippery Rock University. At age six, as his father realized his potential, his dad promptly had himself neutered.

(YES.     .     .this is a real, TRUE  OBITUARY)

He most prided himself on the fact that upon his high school graduation, six of his teachers required psychiatric treatment for chronic depression and suicidal thoughts. During his collegiate tenure, he was a three-year starter on the basketball team, establishing scoring records and national free-throw percentages.

Once he left college, he briefly, very briefly, earned a living as a male stripper. Facing impending bankruptcy, he taught and coached a variety of sports.  Eventually, he became a supervisor for 26 years with Consolidated Coal. During his coal mining tenure, his most noteworthy accomplishment was amassing 18 pairs of channel locks and 127 rolls of P-tape.

Following an early retirement, he formed a construction company and returned to college, receiving a pastoral certification. The next phase of his life found him ministering at a Presbyterian Church for 17 years. He was passionate about short-term mission trips, which specialized in rebuilding flood and wind-damaged homes, participating in over 30 trips and visiting 12 states in the process.

He had a plethora of interests, including occasionally dressing up as a woman, playing corn hole with kittens and eating. His favorite entrée was cherry pie. Free cherry pie to be exact. He was able to substitute his pastoral salary by frequently visiting a local Art Institute, where he posed for aspiring student-sculptors whose interest was creating images of Buddha. He loved to tell stories and freely admitted that a portion of what he said was true, but never disclosed which portion.

To the astonishment of many, 1997, he wed the love of his life.   Quite often, he was quizzed as to how he was able to corral such a young beauty, and he admitted lying to her, claiming he was filthy rich. They were blessed with the birth of two children. Surviving, in addition to his wife and two children, are a brother and a sister.

Above all, his greatest love was that of his Lord Jesus Christ. And his most sincere wish was that everyone would come to know and love God as he did. In lieu of flowers, the family asks, for those who are willing, to attend a church of their choice, and secondly, to break wind in a public setting.

Visitation will be held from noon to 2 p.m., the time of service.   Any person attending who cries will kindly be asked to vacate the premises.

SO  WHAT   WRITE   YOU  ?

This was a real obituary, with only the name of the deceased and his family kept private, though the obituary was very open and even more public.

So.          .          .

What would you write

What would you share

What would you want to most be remembered

Would you go serious

Would you go just factual

Would you go religious

Would you be solemn

Would you be sarcastic and mocking

Would you go for the LAST  WORD

What would you write.          .          .

Well.          .          .

DO   IT

Let’s see it

Share it

or at least put it on paper

Since 1980

I’ve invited individuals and groups to enter into the exercise

to not just reach out and

T                 O                 U                 C                 H

their mortality

but to actually

e      x      p      e      r      i      e      n      c      e             i       t

to walk with it

to make friends with it.          .          .

It’s not an easy exercise

a real fun thing to participate

but it’s very revealing and even freeing

to look

YOUR OWN DEATH

in the eye

and not to blink

but actually stare it down

and when it’s all whittled down

person after person’

group after group

come  to this conclusion:

It’s not technology

It’s not science

It’s not medical advances

it’s not pharmaceuticals

It’s not intellectual advancements

so much as

r        e       l       a        t        i        o       n        s        h        i        p        s

that not only cure

that not only bind us

but     actually    heals    us

Some people never really have the courage to say

H  E  L  L  O

until there’s a final

GOOD B Y E

What would it say in

Y  O  U  R        D  E  A  T  H        N  O  T  I  C  E

What would be there in

T  H  E         D  A  S  H

Between a Birthday and a Death day

What    would    tumble    your    tombstone

WHAT   WOULD   MAKE   THE   ULTIMATE   DIFFERENCE

and more.          .          .

leave   the   ultimate

T      I      M      E           S      T      A      M      P

well.          .          .?

what write you?

 

PEACE by PIECE

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I  HAVE  NEVER  HEARD   OF  HER

                          HAVE  YOU.     .     .

                         NADIA MURAD

Nadia Murad participates in the Lower Saxony Landtag in Hanover, northern Germany on May 31, 2016
Julian Stratenschulte—AFP/Getty Images
Kiran Nazish is a journalist and former professor. She currently runs a worldwide support network for women journalists called The Coalition For Women In Journalism and tweets @kirannazish

The audience sat in silence. Nadia Murad had just wrapped up a speaking event at the Carr Centre at Harvard University. The room had been full, as it usually was when Nadia spoke to an audience. “I can take more questions,” she said. But none came. The crowd had listened intently and seemed empathetic, yet was seemingly too shy to ask much of the slight, 23-year-old woman they saw before them.

Nadia had come here for the questions. It was March 2016, and the ISIS battle was still raging. With 3,000 women from her Yazidi tribe in northern Iraq still under ISIS control, she wanted the world to know about how her people were suffering. She had come to get them involved.

Nadia often wondered if people attended her events, she later told me, to hear more about the story of Islamic State brutalities than to help the Yazidi people. She wanted them to know her cause was something the world could address. “Everyone cannot control or defeat Daesh” she’d say, using a disparaging Arabic term for the group. “[but] everyone can help the Yazidi people.”

Today ISIS is defeated, and the Yazidi people enslaved and brutalized by the militant group are now slowly being reintegrated into Iraqi society. For her efforts in raising awareness of the use of sexual violence in wartime, Nadia Murad has won a Nobel Peace Prize alongside the Congolese surgeon Denis Mukwege. Yet carrying the weight of her people’s plight took a personal toll on Nadia, she told me on that night in Boston over two years ago. What I remember most is the glimpse she gave me of the courage it took her to go through with it.

After the talk, we headed to an Indian restaurant near Harvard Square. I wanted Nadia to taste the kind of cuisine I had grown up with in Pakistan. We connected over being women of color, and our origins were soon a subject of discussion. I had been following her work since she embarked upon her campaign to bring the world’s attention to the plight of Yazidi people. Here she was, in Boston, on a trip sandwiched between meetings with heads of states and leaders of the European Union.

As we filled our plates from the buffet of curry and rice, I asked her if she was pleased with the response to her campaign. I wanted to know how things were unfolding as she lobbied with world leaders week after week, while many of her friends remained under ISIS control. Surely, she must be making progress in her campaign?

She responded cautiously. “They are trying to help us. We have a lot of support.” But that wasn’t working she said. “The process is very slow. We want to do something about the women still stuck there… they need to be saved.”

Earlier that year in February she had visited the United Kingdom’s Houses of Parliament. Her story was raised by British lawmaker Robert Jerick to other members of parliament and then Prime Minister David Cameron. “When the Prime Minister welcomed me and heard what happened to the Yazidis, I felt they will do something to eradicate ISIS but still nothing has happened,” she said.

She kept meeting leaders, and engaged with the United Nations, but she said, “everyone listens and no one does anything.” She looked tired and frustrated at a lack of concrete results. This was not the breakthrough she had dreamed of.

Over dinner, Nadia said she felt her struggle was in vain. She told me about her then-recent visit to Iraq. This conversation was so painful for her that she stopped eating her meal and tears started sliding her cheeks. It was often like this for her. Meals were skipped. Her sleep cycle was unstable. Her suffering could always be seen on her face. She carried the trauma with her everywhere she went, every day.

“I have two burdens,” she told me. “One, is my memory,” — the torture, the rape, the murders of her family, the nights and days as a prisoner of ISIS — “and the second burden is that of my responsibility. I have to make sure that my fellow women do not suffer like me.”

Despite carrying with her this extraordinary despair and pain, Nadia continued to champion the cause of Yazidi women until the Islamic State was driven out of Iraq. And she has gone from triumph to triumph.

Her campaign to speak out about the crimes ISIS committed against her people, was instrumental to understanding and defeating ISIS. And in that she triumphed over ISIS.

When she felt frustrated that world leaders did not move, she kept pushing harder. She showed up at every platform she could to lobby for the Yazidi people, and for all women who are victimized in wars. She communicated her message to audiences shy and bold. And in that she triumphed over those unwilling to listen.

When she felt there was more action needed to help her people, she created the Nadia Initiative and the Sinjar Fund that aims to support Yazidis and other victims of war crimes. And in that she triumphed over inaction.

Now a Nobel Peace Prize laureate, Nadia has the highest platform yet to campaign against the violence and abuse of women during conflict and in society. The recognition of her work — alongside that of Dr Mukwege — will give other activists more access to more people at the heart of the problem.

This is a prize shared by every woman with the courage to speak out despite their fears and traumas. Women across the world who are standing up against oppression and censorship against their bodies, and their lives. These women are the lucky ones. As Nadia Murad told me that night in March 2016 — “survival is a kind of serendipity, one that empowers you to fight for the survival of others.”

This could be her breakthrough.          .          .

I don’t know her.          .          .

Before winning the Nobel Peace Prize

I have never heard of her or

felt the ripple of her wave

to the world

or to me

B          U          T

now I have

now you have

she’s become more of a

V                   E                   R                   B

than   a

N       O       U       N

She has most excellently not just illustrated

but now she inspires it

i n s t i l l s          i   t

P      E      A      C      E      S

    T   O 

P      I      E      C      E      S

making the world a little more whole and wholesome

peace        by        piece

CARING (for each other)

By 4 Comments

The story of Trenton and Lindsay Cochran is a simple one:

They are best friends.            .          .

brother and sister.                .                .

support and inspiration at the same moment;

10 year old Lindsay suffers from Spinal Muscular Atrophy

has been in a wheelchair since she was two.          .          .

Trenton understands deeply that his life would have been extremely different

if he didn’t have a disabled little sister

and not only is this mature 12-year-old

 a helper and a protector

and not only is this mature 12-year-old

an advocate and an ambassador for kids with disabilities

he’s a CARE(ER)

he’s a SHARE(ER)

HE      IS      A     BEARER     OF      COMPASSION

and it’s highly contagious if you don’t allow the

E     V     E     R     Y     D     A     Y

to  innoculate  you.          .          .

Just a simple question:

I mean.          .          .

how   much   would

c              a              r              i              n              g

even   be   valid;

how   much   would

it      even      matter

if   not   for   the

E         A         C         H         O         T         H         E         R

F        A        C        T        O        R

Here’s   the   ultimate   integer:

DON’T       FIND       OUT

Now   THAT’S   Math  made  easy,

wouldn’t    you    agree?
( P R O V E     I T )

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man