Have you ever lost your heart. . . ?
Loaded question, huh?
Well?
What makes it such a touch question
is just trying to figure out
is that a
Physical
Emotional
Psycho-Social
Spiritual
L I T E R A L Question. . .
Ohhhhhhhh how you should know by
NOW
and all nearly some 800 Blog Posts later
that I’m a Sucker for the Sap Movies
and this one,
LAST CHRISTMAS
is maybe the sappiest of all
and it’s leaked a glue over me
that I can’t wash away
(and most likely don’t want to, anyway)
Nothing seems to go right for young Kate, a frustrated Londoner who works as an elf in a year-round Christmas shop. But things soon take a turn for the better when she meets Tom — a handsome charmer who seems too good to be true. As the city transforms into the most wonderful time of the year, Tom and Kate’s growing attraction turns into the best gift of all — a Yuletide romance. . .
Sa-Sa-Saaaaaa-SAPPY, right?
ba-ba-baaa-but
it made me think
IT MADE ME FEEL
the times I’ve lost my
h e a r t
Uhhhhhhh not so much
physically
emotionally
psycho-socially
spiritually
so much as
uh-ohh. . .
dare I write:
metaphysically. . .
and I guess I’m inviting you
to ask
to reflect
a time(S)
you’ve actually lost your heart. . . ?
Can I help answer?
Are you the same you were
10
20
30+
years ago?
What changed from the time you were an infant
to the time you became a toddler
to the time you became a preschooler
to the time you were in elementary school
to the time you were in junior high
to the time you were graduating high school
to the times of different jobs
to the the times of continuing education
to the times of getting married
to the times of having children
to
N O W
. . .just how many,
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU LOST YOUR HEART
and maybe better still. . .
FOUND IT?
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
Here’s to all of the times to come
and all the Seasons
that’ll allow
the prompting of the question:
WHO AM I?
(MAY THE ANSWER CONTINUALLY BE DIFFERENT
as it has countless times before)
Educating the Heart
I was never
an academic all-star;
I most likely
was a classic undiagnosed ADHD
Kid who was often classified as a
“SMART KID WHO CAN’T SEEM TO STAY FOCUSED”
during parent/teacher conference
who excelled with
anything to do with
Reading
and nothing to do with
Math. . .
Who
was often writing poetry
and putting together lyrical phrases
that I wrote in the margins of books
or large lined notebooks
that made me look like
I was ferociously
taking notes. . .
I was often motivated to do well in school
so I could play sports
and not to embarrass my
school teaching, coaching dad
and school secretary mom
. . .but it always felt
foreign
distant
and far from a home
my heart beat to reside
UNLESS
I had
THOSE
teachers
who didn’t
look to grade
penmanship
sentence structure
or what I could recite back
after nights of intense memorization. . .
THOSE TEACHERS
that wanted a piece of my mind
and a part of my heart
by inspiring me
with theirs;
who challenged me to read
WHAT WASN’T
on the syllabus
but more in my dreams;
IT
was the one thing that shaped me then
and still drives me now
T H I S
EDUCATION OF THE HEART
which you never graduate
nor receive a degree
but something far
F A R
more important:
A DEEPLY MEANINGFUL LIFE
. . .PAY ATTENTION, CLASS
The Lectures have ended
but the Teaching
is in a never-ending
S E S S I O N
and it’ll not only assure
that your heart will beat differently
IT WILL GUARANTEE
you’ll cause other hearts
to be
forever significantly better
THIS
Education of the Heart
CONNECTED
When’s the last time you met a person. . .
I mean a brand new person in your life,
you’ve never previously have heard of or met. . . ?
How were you introduced
or did you put your hand out first and say your name
with your title or some other way that identifies you. . . ?
DARE YOU
try to connect
or be connected in
A N O T H E R
w a y
If you can move beyond the boring basics when you’re asked “What do you do?”, you’ll set yourself up for new relationships, opportunities and revelations, says introduction expert Joanna Bloor. . .
Mingling at a work event inevitably means being asked the question “What do you do?” over and over again. After years of repetition and conditioning, most of us respond with “I’m job title X at company Y.” And while this is the answer people expect, it’s also likely to linger in your new acquaintance’s mind only until it’s replaced by what the next person says to them.
“Answering with your title and company is the cultural norm. But when you do, you’re missing out on an opportunity for the other person to know who you actually are. You are not just your job,” says Joanna Bloor, CEO of Amplify Labs. She specializes in helping people discover and articulate what makes them distinctive so that they can form deeper connections with others.
And it all starts with how you introduce yourself.
Bloor’s own answer demonstrates the power of an original response. If she answers “I’m CEO of Amplify Labs,” her questioner will probably go on to ask about what it’s like to be a CEO or what is Amplify Labs. But those lines of conversation don’t really allow a person to really know Bloor. So, when she’s asked “What do you do?”, she replies: “Do you like your own answer to the question ‘What do you do?’?” People invariably admit they don’t. She then says, “I know — everyone struggles with it, yet the answer can have massive impact. I work with people on crafting an answer that is bold, compelling, authentic and unique. I help you tell people why you’re awesome.”
Introducing yourself this way isn’t just about standing out in a crowded room or cutting through extraneous jargon and chitchat. By naming your special sauce upfront, says Bloor, you’re increasing the chances that the other person will bring up an opportunity, relationship, business or idea that could help you. As Bloor puts it, “When you get your introduction right, the opportunity is not only to genuinely connect with people, but you’ll also be allowed to do the work you really want to do.”
Be warned: crafting your intro takes a bit of time and effort. But as the world of work continues to change in ways we can’t anticipate, knowing what sets you apart from the pack is crucial. Here, Bloor tell us how you can come up with your new response to “What do you do?”
1. Go beyond your title.
The first thing you need to do is figure out who you actually are. Bloor asks her clients, “What is it you would like to be known for?” It’s an uncomfortable question, but she finds it jolts people out of their comfort zones. Rather than relying on previous accomplishments, you’re forced to consider what you’d like your impact to be.
Bloor used this tactic on me. My typical response to “What do you do?” is “I’m a journalist and playwright.” But after she asked me what I loved about these professions and what I hoped to accomplish through them, she helped me craft a much deeper and more compelling response: “The world can be an overwhelming place, so I help people connect to each other by telling stories as a journalist as a playwright.”
2. Think about the problems that only you can solve.
Bloor believes that everyone, no matter their job or industry, is essentially a problem solver. So when she interviews people to help them discover their unique story, she’s also trying to find out the problems they’re particularly good at solving.
Use this tactic on yourself. What problems do you solve at work? And what makes you especially effective at doing so? Framing yourself as a problem-solver may trigger an instant reaction when you meet someone new. “I have that problem, too!” they could say. Figure out how to deliver your capabilities in a single sentence. For example, instead of saying “I’m a lawyer who specializes in X type of law,” you could say, “I think the biggest problem about the justice system is A. As an attorney who focuses on B, I’m helping find solutions through doing C.”
3. Ask your friends and colleagues for input.
It’s often hard for people to see their own skills. “The thing you are fantastic at can be as natural to you as breathing, so you don’t value it,” says Bloor. If you’re having a difficult time identifying your talents, she suggests you turn to the people who know you well and ask them “What is it you see that I do well and that I’m unaware is really special?” You’ll generally find common themes or language in their responses, says Bloor, even if they’re people from different parts of your life.
4. Flash back to your childhood.
Still stumped? Step into a time machine, and think back to your eight-year-old self. What were you great at during that age? According to Bloor, that special skill can often apply to your present and future selves and help you see how you’re different from everyone else. For example, when Bloor was eight, she had a great sense of direction and easily memorized routes while hiking with her father. That skill translated into her previous career of building software for companies — she could visualize 3D maps of software architecture.
5. Show a little vulnerability.
Finding people that we connect with can be elusive, especially at work-related events. “I think a lot of the angst in the workplace and angst with each other is because we don’t talk about who we really are as people,” says Bloor. So, take a chance, open up in your opening remarks, and reveal something honest about yourself. Use phrases, such as “I’m really passionate about X” or “What excites me most about what I do is Y,” which can communicate your emotion and enthusiasm and prime others to respond in kind.
6. Gather some feedback on your introduction.
After you’ve crafted your opener, practice it on five people you know well. Then, a few days later, ask them ‘What do you remember most about my intro?” Their few-days-later response will tell you what is most memorable about your opener, what you could alter, and what you might try to lean into when meeting new people.
7. Blame it on someone else.
When you first start trying out a new way of introducing yourself, you’ll probably feel nervous. Bloor suggests prefacing it with, “I’ve just learned a new way of introducing myself and I’m experimenting with it. Can I try it out on you?” People love to be asked for their advice or input.
8. Resist going back to the same-old intro.
The truth is, it will always be easier to say the stilted “I’m job X at company Y,” stumble through small talk, and then move on to the next person and glass of wine. In addition, when you give a nontraditional introduction, you will inevitably run into some staid folks who don’t get it.
But Bloor urges people to persist. She recently coached a woman named Rumi, whose standard intro was “I’m a copywriter.” After the two women worked together, Rumi realized what her secret strength is: her ability to be the other person in her writing. What’s more, the process of crafting a new opener made Rumi realize that “the part of me that I am ashamed of — being the perpetual outsider — is the very place from which my bulletproof power springs forth.”
Like Rumi, you may find that coming up with an authentic, personal introduction leads to deeper revelations in your life. “We all want to learn and figure out why we matter on this planet and in this life,” says Bloor. “And it can start with being able to answer the question ‘What do you do?’ better.”
F I N D
A new and exciting way to share
Y O U
SEEING the You in YOU
In one of the most famous Dove films, Real Beauty Sketches explores the gap between how others perceive us and how we perceive ourselves. Each woman is the subject of two portraits drawn by FBI-trained forensic artist Gil Zamora: one based on her own description, and the other using a stranger’s observations. The results are surprising. . .
OR IS IT. . . ?
T R U T H
Sometimes the very mirrors we look into
are so disturbingly smashed
that they don’t throw back any semblance
of who we truly are. . .
T R U T H
Sometimes we see ourselves
as we truly believe we are
instead of how others see us. . .
T R U T H
Maybe one of our greatest strengths
is the one we use
the least:
SHOWING OTHERS THE ABSOLUTE BEAUTY WE SEE IN THEM
. . .letting others see themselves
as we see them
but not once
or not once in a while
. . .but
e v e r y t i m e
all the time. . .
Go ahead,
take another look. . .
A LONGER LOOK
Are you more beautiful than you think. . . ?
Uhhhhhhhh, maybe you’re the wrong person to ask
THAT QUESTION. . .
Maybe the best way to see your greatest reflection
is in
o t h e r s
MONKEY-MIND
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
How it just seems to go on and on
E S P E C I A L L Y
AFTER HOURS
When you want it all to stop
at least for a little while
. . .a moment
but that’s when
MONKEY MIND
really goes to the next level. . .
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
GUESS WHAT. . .
The Chaos of the Holidays
kicks it into another level
Psychologists Explain How To Stop Overthinking Everything
Overthinking can lead to serious emotional distress and increase your risk of mental health problems
Thomas Oppong recently reported that this is more than just some kind of phase. . .
Thinking about something in endless circles — is exhausting.
While everyone overthinks a few things once in a while, chronic over-thinkers spend most of their waking time ruminating, which puts pressure on themselves. They then mistake that pressure to be stress.
“There are people who have levels of overthinking that are just pathological,” says clinical psychologist Catherine Pittman, an associate professor in the psychology department at Saint Mary’s College in Notre Dame, Indiana.
“But the average person also just tends to overthink things.” Pittman is also the author of “Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry.”
Overthinking can take many forms: endlessly deliberating when making a decision (and then questioning the decision), attempting to read minds, trying to predict the future, reading into the smallest of details, etc.
People who overthink consistently run commentaries in their heads, criticising and picking apart what they said and did yesterday, terrified that they look bad — and fretting about a terrible future that might await them
SOUND FAMILIAR. . .
‘What ifs’ and ‘shoulds’ dominate their thinking, as if an invisible jury is sitting in judgement on their lives. And they also agonise over what to post online because they are deeply concerned about how other people will interpret their posts and updates.
They don’t sleep well because ruminating and worrying keep them awake at night. “Ruminators repetitively go over events, asking big questions: Why did that happen? What does it mean?” adds Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, the chair of the department of psychology at Yale University and the author of Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life. “But they never find any answers.”
It kind of feels like
when we’d bet our lives
or at least our
PEACE OF MIND
that 99% of what we fret will never happen
THAT SINGLE, SOLITARY 1%
Monkey Minds us all the way to the Zoo and back. . .
If you consistently focus on ruminating and make it a habit, it becomes a loop, And the more you do it, the harder it is to stop. Clinical psychologist Helen Odessky, Psy. D., shares some insight. “So often people confuse overthinking with problem-solving,” says Odessky, the author of “Stop Anxiety from Stopping You.” “But what ends up happening is we just sort of go in a loop,” Odessky says. “We’re not really solving a problem.”
Overthinking is destructive and mentally draining. It can make you feel like you’re stuck in one place, and if you don’t act, it can greatly impact on your day-to-day life. It can quickly put your health and total well-being at risk. Rumination makes you more susceptible to depression and anxiety.
Many people overthink because they are scared of the future, and what could potentially go wrong. “Because we feel vulnerable about the future, we keep trying to solve problems in our head,” says David Carbonell, a clinical psychologist and author of “The Worry Trick: How Your Brain Tricks You into Expecting the Worst and What You Can Do About It.”
Extreme overthinking can easily sap your sense of control over your life. It robs us of active participation in everything around us.
“Chronic worriers show an increased incidence of coronary problems and suppressed immune functioning. Dwelling on the past or the future also takes us away from the present, rendering us unable to complete the work currently on our plates. If you ask ruminators how they are feeling, none will say “happy.” Most feel miserable,” says Nicholas Petrie, a senior faculty member at the Center for Creative Leadership.
Overthinking can trap the brain in a worry cycle. When ruminating become as natural as breathing, you need to quickly deal with it and find a solution to it.
“When an unpleasant event puts us in a despondent mood, it’s easier to recall other times when we’ve felt terrible. That can set the stage for a ruminator to work herself into a downward spiral,” writes Amy Maclin of Real Simple.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:
how do we untangle
I T
A L L. . .
How to defeat this pattern of thinking and win your life back
Chronic worrying is not permanent. It’s a mental habit that can be broken. You can train your brain to look at life from a different perspective.
To overcome overthinking, Pittman recommends you replace the thought. “Telling yourself to not to have a certain thought is not the way to not have the thought,” she says.”You need to replace the thought.” What if she were to tell you to stop thinking about pink elephants? What are you going to think about? That’s right: pink elephants. If you don’t want to think about a pink elephant, conjure up an image of, say, a tortoise. “Maybe there’s a big tortoise holding a rose in its mouth as it crawls,” says Pittman. “You’re not thinking about pink elephants now.”
Talk yourself out of it by noticing when you’re stuck in your head. You can tame your overthinking habit if you can start taking a grip on your self-talk — that inner voice that provides a running monologue throughout the day and even into the night.
“You can cultivate a little psychological distance by generating other interpretations of the situation, which makes your negative thoughts less believable,” says Bruce Hubbard, the director of the Cognitive Health Group and an adjunct assistant professor of psychology and education at Columbia University. This is called cognitive restructuring.
Ask yourself — What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen? If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
If it’s a problem you keep ruminating about, rephrase the issue to reflect the positive outcome you’re looking for,” suggests Nolen-Hoeksema.
“Instead of “I’m stuck in my career,” tell yourself or better still write, “I want a job where I feel more engaged.” Then make a plan to expand your skills, network, and look for opportunities for a better career.
Find a constructive way of processing any worries or negative thoughts, says Honey. “Write your thoughts down in a journal every night before bed or first thing in the morning — they don’t have to be in any order. Do a ‘brain dump’ of everything on your mind onto the page. Sometimes that can afford a sense of relief, ” recommends Honey Langcaster-James, a psychologist.
You can also control your ruminating habit by connecting with your senses. Begin to notice what you can hear, see, smell, taste, and feel.
The idea is to reconnect with your immediate world and everything around you. When you begin to notice, you spend less time in your head.
You can also notice your overthinking habit and talk yourself out of it. Becoming self-aware can help you take control.
“Pay a little more attention,” says Carbonell. “Say something like: I’m feeling kind of anxious and uncomfortable. Where am I? Am I all in my head? Maybe I should go take a walk around the block and see what happens.”
Recognise your brain is in overdrive or ruminating mode, and then try to snap out of it immediately. Or better still, distract yourself and redirect your attention to something else that requires focus.
“If you need to interrupt and replace hundreds of times a day, it will stop fast, probably within a day,” says Dr Margaret Weherenberg, a psychologist and author of The 10 Best-Ever Anxiety Management Techniques. “Even if the switch is simply to return attention to the task at hand, it should be a decision to change ruminative thoughts.”
It takes practice, but with time, you will be able to easily recognise when you are worrying unnecessarily, and choose instead, to do something in real life rather than spending a lot of time in your head.
For example, convert, “I can’t believe this happened” to “What can I do to prevent it from happening again?” or convert “I don’t have good friends!” to “What steps could I take to deepen the friendships I have and find new ones?” recommends Ryan Howes, PhD.
Don’t get lost in thoughts about what you could have, would have, and should have done differently. Mental stress can seriously impact your quality of life.
An overactive mind can make life miserable. Learning how to stop spending time in your head is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.
Like all habits, changing your destructive thought patterns can be a challenge, but it’s not impossible. With practice, you can train your brain to perceive things differently and reduce the stress of overthinking.
If overthinking is ruining your life, and if you think you may be spiralling into depression because of your thoughts, it pays to get professional help.
Just remember. . .
Even when you feel you’re shattered
YOU STILL POSSESS A
MARVELOUS SHINE
that never goes dull. . .
It’s just that you
MONKEY-MIND IT
y o u
OVER THINK
it can. . .
Mister Rogers’D
It was a staple in most households when we were growing up and there were literally only three (4) channels on your tv set:
NBC
ABC
CBS
PBS
and most often I was a human remote control
changing the stations
upon request. . .
We’d tune in just about every early evening while my mom was finishing preparing dinner and it would be my job to watch my younger brothers; we’d watch MR ROGERS and though I acted like it was for little kids, this not-so-little-kid got a lot out of it, but maybe not as much as I got this past Friday when I went to see Tom Hanks in
A BEAUTIFUL IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
Thanksgiving is just a few days away
and maybe we’ve already snuck a piece of pumpkin pie
or some fruitcake
or a slice or two of turkey. . .
I have a request for you this Thanksgiving:
If you haven’t already
sometime over this holiday weekend, maybe even
T H A N K S G I V I N G
itself,
I want you
I’m literally begging you
TO BE SELFISH
P L E A S E
be selfish enough to go see this movie. . .
I’m so glad that this small Trailer showed my favorite thing in the movie:
THE ONE MINUTE OF SILENCE SCENE
with the powerful
the most awesomely powerful message:
“LET’S JUST TAKE A MOMENT AND THINK ABOUT ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED US INTO BEING. . .JUST ONE MINUTE!
Mr Rogers was one special person because it was his life’s mission to make everyone he met feel
SPECIAL;
he was
COMPASSION IN ACTION
KINDNESS ENACTED
and more:
He’s inspired us to be the same. . .
Join me in doing
JUST THAT. . .
Please, won’t you be my neighbor?
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
It won’t guarantee you a
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
It’ll give you a most
Enchanted Life. . .
CRY BABY METER
I call it
B E I N G
SENSITIVE
CARING
IN TOUCH
VULNERABLE
OPEN
TRANSPARENT
EMPATHETIC
SYMPATHETIC
well, yes, even
A CARING CATALYST
. . .O T H E R S
well, they call it being a
WIMP
SOFT
SACCHARINE
MUSHY
GUSHY
A
C R Y
B A B Y
Here’s the scene. . .
Actually, four of them. . .
When I came home around 4:45 there was no one home and so after changing, I flipped on the tv and knew I didn’t want to finish Dr Phil or begin ELLEN and I wasn’t crazy about the mumbo-jumbo on SPORTSCENTER, so with remote in hand I went to HBO and the first thing that came up was the ending of BRUCE ALMIGHTY:
ANYTHING?
Go ahead. . .
No one’s watching,
No hand in the air to admit that the scene might have put some dampness in the corner of your eye. . .
As BRUCE ALMIGHTY ended I switched it over to the ending of
MOULIN ROUGE:
NOTHING?
Oh, for me, yeah. . .
IT WAS ON
Lump-in-the-throat-can’t-swallow-want-to-primal-scream-cry. . .
and the before I could fully get one good
swallow
I switched the channel to the old 2005 movie
IN HER SHOES:
SOMETHING. . . ?
Not only because I’ve been a life long fan of
e.e. cummings
but because sometimes there are just
W O R D S
that a Heart shouts
and a mouth can never whisper
that says everything you ever wanted to say
but no way ever could
and yet. . .
HAVE
with THAT person
you know that living a life time with
can never be long enough
so there’s an Eternity
to have your never-do-you-part Lives
(I love you in THAT way, Erin)
and just seeing that scene. . .
feeling those words:
t e a r s
and even as I was getting the remote control wet
I flipped over to the final scene of Tom Hanks
BIG:
W E L L. . . ?
Is there anything better than not just
GOING HOME
but actually
BEING HOME. . .
I loved what Elizabeth Perkins character said right before this last scene when Hanks was trying to explain to her that he was really just a 13 year-old kid and she said, “WHO DOESN’T HAVE A 13 YEAR OLD KID LIVING INSIDE OF THEM?”
Oh, my, my, my, my. . .
I just clicked the tv off
and sat there in the dimly lit room
. . .the cat and the dog were both a little curious
about their odd owner/caregiver
who was anything but an
owner of his feelings
caregiver of his emotions
and loving every moment of
i t
. . .I need no
CRY BABY METER
it’s on
often for me
with a movie scene
a song
a well phrased line
a. . .
TRUTH:
If there’s an intervention
If there’s a therapy
If there’s a medication
. . .I don’t want it;
If there’s a Cure
I look not to be healed. . .
Y O U ?
MULTITASKED
I don’t believe it. . .
IN FACT,
Often when I’m giving a talk
I invite the audience to get out their phones to
Text
Facebook
Tweet
Snapchat
Instagram
Email
because I’d be doing the same thing if I was sitting where they were
and more
that I firmly believe that I can do
ONE THING
better when I’m doing
more than just
ONE THING. . .
AND THEN EVIDENCE BASED DATA COMES KNOCKING DOWN MY DOOR. . .
I recently read a blog post by Darius Foroux
a n d
he tells us
that we’ve been
MULTITASKED
by
Multitasking. . .
Darius takes a wild guess, even now and says boldly: “You’re doing something else right now in addition to reading this article. Maybe you’re in a meeting, or working on a proposal, or walking on a treadmill, or listening to your mom on the phone telling you what she had for dinner. The point is you’re multitasking.”
He goes on to even question: “And why wouldn’t you, when busyness has become such a badge of honor? When we’re led to believe that we need to be “doing” something at all times, why stop at one thing? Why not go for two things in a single moment, or even three? With all the pressure to be constantly productive, it’s easy to forget about all the studies telling us that multitasking isn’t effective. But there are plenty of them: Research has shown that multitasking reduces productivity (every time you switch between tasks, it takes up to nine minutes to refocus on the original task), increases the rate of errors, and may even damage your brain. The estimated global cost of multitasking is $450 billion a year. It’s also making us sad.
He DARES ASKS US:
- Do you ever feel restless?
- Do you feel the urge to grab your phone every five minutes (or even less)?
- Do you find it difficult to focus on just one thing?
- Do your relationships suffer from your “distracted” behavior?
If you answered yes to all four, you might be addicted to multitasking. Darius makes an attempt to make us feel better by confessing, “I was, too. But once I became aware of my behavior, I made a concerted effort to change. Here are my tips for how to follow suit.“
Pay attention
For next few days, Darius tells us to, “make note of when you’re dealing with more than one task at the same time. Do you tend to multitask more at certain times of day? When you’re doing certain types of tasks? Figure out what your triggers are — without awareness, we can’t change our behavior.“
Turn off notifications for your nonessential apps
Darius tells us, “To reduce the temptation to split my attention, I’ve turned off notifications on almost all the apps on my phone and computer. The exceptions include calls, messages, reminders, calendar alerts, notices from my banking app, and warnings from my security cam app. Everything else is off. I’ve gotten rid of notifications for group texts, email, social media, and news.“
Check email at a few set times
Darius challenges us with, “Unless you work in customer service, it shouldn’t be a problem to keep your email closed throughout the day. Choose a few set times to check your messages so you’re not doing it throughout the day while working on other things.“
Relocate if necessary
Forum tells us what we all know to be true: “Too many offices are distracting. If you can’t focus where you work, reserve a conference room for a half-hour each day. If you can’t do that, request to work from home one or two days a week. Do what you can to get to a physical space where you can focus.“
Finally, Darius wraps it all neatly up with a big bow: “When you quit multitasking, your mind gets stronger, so try to see all these tips as exercise for your brain. You can do it — one task at a time.
Sometimes
what we think is
P R O D U C T I V E
is just an excuse to be busy enough
to not get much done at all
but we look good doing it
and somehow
if we literally die
BEING SO BUSY
than it becomes
H E R O I C
but
The Worst Kind of
Caring Catalyst
is a dead one
with the cause of death being
MULTITASKED. . .
We all have multiple
Purposes
Meanings
Reasons
Destinies
. . .we can
. . .we DO
m u c h
but can do much more
(powerfully)
one thing at a time
TRY
IT
HOROSCOPE(D)
We all have them, don’t we:
B I R T H D A Y S
and they always come around once a year. . .
Some are absolutely more celebrated more than others
but all of them have a huge message attached to them:
THERE IS ONE LESS ONE TO CELEBRATE
Now if that doesn’t
blow out the candles
crumble the cake
harden the icing
deflate the balloons
destroy the gifts
and hurricane the party–
N O T H I N G W I L L
B U T
WE AUTHOR OUR OWN HOROSCOPES
Now make no mistake about it. . .
We can allow others to write our scripts
and we can feel powerfully inspired and obligated to follow them. . .
B U T
Why not just author your own
and more importantly:
FOLLOW IT?
Every year has
T W O
N E W
Y E A R S:
January 1
a n d
Your BIRTHDAY. . .
both will have
hopes
new beginnings
anticipations
resolutions
and mostly
RESPONSibilities. . .
GUARANTEED
NEW
YEAR(S):
Write your own HOROSCOPE
and better still:
L I V E
I T
F U L L Y
HERE’S THE SECRET:
W O W
that’s being
H O R O S C O P E (D)
The Mercifulness of a Caring Catalyst
Are you Selfish?
Not many admit that they are. . .
and the folks who actually do
confess just how selfish they are. . .
usually are the folks who are the least self-serving
S T I L L
The most
s e l f i s h
you can ever be
is when you’re
f o r g i v i n g
Funny, huh?
We mostly think that
Forgiveness
is something we do;
something we provide for another person
for a horrid aggression done against us. . .
w r o n g
Forgiveness
isn’t ignoring you were hurt. . .
Forgiveness
isn’t about setting yourself up to be hurt again. . .
Forgiveness
isn’t about letting someone getting away with something. . .
Forgiveness
isn’t about reconciliation. . .
Forgiveness
isn’t something we do to make better another’s life. . .
Forgiveness
i s
a pretty selfish thing to do.
We’ve all heard it said,
“RESENTMENT IS A POISON ONE TAKES HOPING TO HARM ANOTHER”
S O . . .
Is Forgiveness a Selfish Act
or a
C A R I N G O N E ?
In fact,
the most
c a r i n g
thing you can do for another
is the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself
f o r g i v e
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssst of the Day:
ACCEPT
THE APOLOGY
YOU NEVER
R E C E I V E D
o f t e n
Become more of a Caring Catalyst.
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