WOW. . .
how could it be that this movie,
THE DEAD POET’S SOCIETY
came out in. . .
ANY GUESSES?
1 9 8 9
A new English teacher, John Keating (Robin Williams), is introduced to an all-boys preparatory school that is known for its ancient traditions and high standards. He uses unorthodox methods to reach out to his students, who face enormous pressures from their parents and the school. With Keating’s help, students Neil Perry (Robert Sean Leonard), Todd Anderson (Ethan Hawke) and others learn to break out of their shells, pursue their dreams and seize the day.
AND IT BEGS
THIS QUESTION:
Just what will your verse be?
H I N T :
If you use words
you’ve already failed. . .
Forget about iambic pentameters
or does it rhyme
is it free verse
or what the length of any poem is
You are the living version
of what needs to be seen
and experienced
and not just read
or merely written. . .
Now more than ever
the Verb of You
Your Caring Catalyst
needs to be known
more than any Noun of You
needs to be represented. . .Just sayin’. . . .
W A R
Serbian saying: “In war the politicians give ammunition, the rich give the food and the poor give their children… When the war is over the politicians get back the leftover ammunition, the rich grow more food and the poor search for the graves of their children.”
WORDS
W o R d S
are all pretty meaningless
even if they are
ACTION WORDS
until they are
LIVING WORDS
THE WORLD IS MADE UP OF DEAD ENDS
DESOLATE
WAR TORN PLACES
(and that’s not even talking about the wars that are being waged in ourselves)
It reminds me of the words of the poet,
Warsan Shire
For the World’s sake
For your sake
(Literally) For God’s sake
we’ve got to Caring Catalyst UP
not Someday
(which can never be found on anyone’s Calendar)
but TODAY
IT’S time to BE
what the World needs
right where you are at
and to everyone you touch. . .
A CHANGE OF HEART
It’s been two years now. . .
not only has the our World changed dramatically because of COVID19
but quite literally, so has our
H E A R T
(l i t e r a l l y)
US News
just recently came out with some not so startling news about how this past year,
particularly, the GRIEF that it’s caused
has rewired our Hearts and our Brains. . .
AMERICAN HEART Association News, HealthDay Reporter, By Michael Merschel
On WEDNESDAY, March 10, 2021 (American Heart Association News) — Grief is a common, if not universal, human experience. But that doesn’t make it simple.
It’s psychological, but it affects people physically. It’s a matter of science, but scientists who discuss it can sound poetic. Dr. Katherine Shear, professor of psychiatry at Columbia University School of Social Work in New York, calls grief “the form that love takes when someone we love dies.”
COVID-19 has both brought grief and disrupted the way people experience it. But researchers have been examining grief since well before the pandemic.
Simply defining it can be difficult. Shear, who also is director of the Columbia Center for Complicated Grief, said “there are pretty much as many different definitions of grief as there are people.” Commonly, it’s thought of as a feeling, like sadness. That’s not wrong, she said, but it’s more accurate to call it “the response to loss,” a complex and multifaceted thing with yearning and longing at its core.
Its health implications are serious.
A 2014 study in JAMA Internal Medicine showed that within 30 days of their partner’s death, people ages 60 and older had more than twice the risk of a stroke or heart attack compared to people who hadn’t suffered such a loss. That followed a 2012 study in the American Heart Association journal Circulation showing the danger of a heart attack was highest in the first 24 hours after the death of a loved one and people with existing cardiovascular problems might be at particular risk. . .(GO AHEAD: READ THAT AGAIN!)
Other research has linked grief to disrupted sleep, immune system changes and the risk of blood clots.
Dr. Lisa M. Shulman, professor of neurology at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore, said much of the physical effect of grief stems from how our brains respond.
The stress from the death of a loved one jolts our personal identity, our view of how we fit into the world, Shulman said. It sounds like a philosophical problem, but the brain is built to perceive an existential threat as a threat to our very existence.
This triggers what most people know as the “fight or flight” response. Stress hormones course throughout the body. “Your heart starts racing, your blood pressure increases, your respiratory rate increases, you become sweaty, as the body marshals defenses for you to protect yourself, one way or another,” Shulman said.
Someone who has experienced a traumatic loss, she said, might feel such a response kick in when they enter a restaurant that reminds them of a loved one, or even when someone brings them up in conversation.
But people don’t grasp why. “Instead, you just feel this incredible, physiologic response and a rising sense of anxiety, or even panic. And you’re flummoxed by it.”
Shulman understands this firsthand. Her interest in the neurobiology of grief followed the loss of her husband, Dr. Bill Weiner, a fellow neurologist, who died of cancer in 2012.
Despite her prior experience in dealing with grieving patients, she was unprepared for it herself. The first two years, she said, were particularly difficult. At times she felt disoriented, confused, in a fog – responses that are the brain’s attempts to dissociate itself from emotional pain.
Such reactions can make a bereaved person feel isolated, she said, because people feel their problems are unique. But after writing the book “Before and After Loss: A Neurologist’s Perspective on Loss, Grief and Our Brain” and giving regular talks on the subject, she’s found talking with others can help. That is why the pandemic has made things extra difficult for people who’ve been cut off from the comfort of others.
Many people have identical experiences with grief, she said – right down to the same dreams.
“People do respond very positively to the message that the experience of grief and loss can be normalized by understanding why and what you’re feeling,” she said.
Grief can reinforce brain wiring that effectively locks the brain in a permanent stress response, Shulman said. To promote healthy rewiring, people need to strengthen the parts of the brain that can regulate that response. That can involve “a whole range of creative and contemplative practices,” from painting to meditation or expressions of faith.
Journaling helped her. By writing about disturbing memories or troubling dreams, “you can read it over in your own words and annotate it over time. And as you do that, you are becoming increasingly aware of these unprocessed thoughts, memories and emotions. And that is the way you start to rebuild more positive neural connections.”
Shear said having someone to confide in – even if it’s by video call, phone or letter – is important.
Grief, she said, is a lengthy path, marked with milestones people must face – and detours where they can get stuck. Her center offers a website full of information about grief. So does the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Grief never just goes away, Shear said. “If the loss is permanent, then so is the grief, because we’re defining it as a response to loss.”
But the way people experience grief is fluid. It can shift over the course of a day or an hour.
“It will naturally kind of surge and then recede,” she said. “We sort of oscillate between confronting the pain of the loss, and then being able to kind of set it aside or compartmentalize it.”
Eventually, it can evolve to a place where it resides mostly in the background, with only occasional periods of stronger, noticeable thoughts and feelings about the person who died. And in time, people find ways to let good memories in without triggering stress.
“We never have no response to the fact that someone we love died,” she said. “But it does change its form over time.”
American Heart Association News covers heart and brain health. Not all views expressed in this story reflect the official position of the American Heart Association. Copyright is owned or held by the American Heart Association, Inc., and all rights are reserved. If you have questions or comments about this story, please email editor@heart.org.
The Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm of the Day:
Why do we see GRIEF as a weakness;
Why do we see GRIEF as something to get OVER;
Why do we keep spelling it:
G-R-I-E-F
instead of
L- O-V-E
A CHANGE OF HEART
you betcha. . .
JUST A BEAT AWAY
LOUD LOVE
This short clip called
SILENT LOVE
(LIVE AND BE FREE song by, Tim McMorris)
really lets us know not just how
OUTRAGEOUSLY LOUD LOVE IS
but more importantly
A LANGUAGE we all speak
with no words ever needed
no ears necessary
no mouths speaking
to powerfully prove that when
L O V E
any kind of Love
is present
NOTHING ELSE EVER HAS TO BE
YES
CARING CATALYST ME
t h a t
so that every heart may not just know
LOVE
but share it
LOUDLY
without a word spoken
but known intimately
McNOTICED
I got McNOTICED
yesterday morning
going through the drive through
for my egg McMuffin. . .
as he took my money,
he was staring at me
and then said,
“Sir, you had the funeral service for my grandmother,”
he swallowed hard
and his eyes filled up with tears and then he said,
“You did really, really good. . .thank you.”
We both paused
just short enough for those behind me
to begin McHONKING. . .
I swallowed just as hard
and thanked him for
(literally)
McNOTICING ME!
We both
McLAUGHED
and bid each other a good day. . .
GET McNOTICED
and more. . .
do something to make sure you’re never
McFORGOTTEN!
PEACE AND CONFLICT
WHERE DO WE TURN??
WHO DO WE TRUST??
WHAT TO BELIEVE??
All good questions that have been pop corning around in our heads for nearly a month now as Covid seems to be subsiding or at least becoming manageable.
The very least I could do as an ongoing becoming a better Caring Catalyst is to share some fo the resources I’ve consulted over these past few weeks to make some sense of what’s happening a half of a world away from most of us. Hence, I wanted to share:
The Greater Good Resources for Peace and Conflict
They gathered articles that explore the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; offer resources for well-being and activism; and most of all, remind us of human goodness.
The folks at the Greater Good Science Center, Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is provoking a range of emotions: sadness, anger, fear, and more. We’re reading the news every day and wishing that there were more we could do to help.
As an educational nonprofit, the folks at the Greater Good Science Center, understand the best we can do, perhaps, is to remind ourselves and their readers that peace is always possible, the vast majority of people resist killing, even the most violent primates are capable of change, there are steps we can all take to bridge our differences, and activism can make the world a better place. They’ve gathered articles below to help you understand the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; get involved in activism; and support your well-being and your children’s—including reminders of human goodness in times of conflict. This is just one humble beggar showing another hungry beggar where he got some much needed sustenance.
If you’d like to find a more direct way to support the people of Ukraine, the Greater Good Science Center editors shared their friends at KQED recommendations who created this excellent list of organizations addressing the human crises that war creates. We hope you’ll consider making a donation to one of them.
Click to jump to a section:
Promoting peace and reconciliation
Reminders of human goodness
How political apology and forgiveness works
Resources for well-being and activism
Resources for children’s well-being
Promoting peace and reconciliation
- What Can We Learn From the World’s Most Peaceful Societies?: A multidisciplinary team of researchers is discovering what makes some societies more peaceful than others.
- Why Is There Peace?: Violence is declining, argues psychologist Steven Pinker. What are we doing right?
- Truth and Reconciliation: Forgiveness is not just personally rewarding. It’s also a political necessity, says Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He explains how forgiveness allowed South Africans to imagine a new beginning—one based on honesty, peace, and compassion.
- To Resolve Conflicts, Get Up and Move: Researcher Peter T. Coleman has found an unlikely path to peace: Move your body to help your mind get unstuck.
Reminders of human goodness
- Hope on the Battlefield: Military leaders know a secret: The vast majority of people are overwhelmingly reluctant to take a human life.
- Courage Under Fire: When the Bosnian civil war broke out, Svetlana Broz searched for the humanity behind the horrific headlines. She found stories of people who risked their lives to help victims of the war—and who inspired others to follow their example.
- Worlds Without War: Ethnographic studies find that not all societies make war. In other words, war is not intrinsic to humankind.
- Beyond Sex and Violence: Contrary to the typical view, violence is something humans resort to out of fear—or try to avoid altogether.
- Peace Among Primates: Anyone who says peace is not part of human nature knows too little about primates, including ourselves.
How political apology and forgiveness works
- The Forgiveness Instinct: To understand the human potential for peace, we have to learn three simple truths about forgiveness and revenge.
- The Greatest Test: Forgiveness improves health and strengthens relationships. But can it help heal the scars of civil war?
- Making Peace Through Apology: Some apologies encourage forgiveness and reconciliation between groups and nations; others only make things worse. Here’s how to tell the difference.
- What Makes a Political Apology Seem Sincere?: When is a political apology likely to be well-received? A new study explores the contributing factors.
- How Should a Group Apologize to People They Harmed?: A new study investigates which components of an apology foster forgiveness and reconciliation between groups.
Resources for well-being and activism
- Six Tips to Avoid Being Overwhelmed by the News: Here’s how to cope when all the negative news is triggering you.
- How to Sustain Your Activism: These three principles can help activists avoid burnout and continue working toward a better world.
- How to Renew Your Compassion in the Face of Suffering: Mass suffering can make us feel helpless. Focusing on solutions, rather than emotions, may be the way out.
Resources for children’s well-being
- Nine Tips for Talking to Kids about Trauma: In the midst of tragedy, kids will have questions. How do we respond?
- Five Ways to Support Students Affected by Trauma: Teachers can help students recognize their strengths and build resilience.
- Can Parents Teach Peace?: A recent study suggests they can, at least some of the time.
LET US WORK TOGETHER
TO BE CARING CATALYSTS ENOUGH
TO NOT JUST WORK TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
BUT ACTUALLY
BE THE DIFFERENCE NEEDED NOW
LET IT GO
A Ukrainian child sheltering in a bunker has received attention from Broadway star Idina Menzel and ITV’s Holly Willoughby after a video of her singing Let It Go went viral on social media. The young girl, believed to be called Amelia, was captured singing the hit from the Disney film Frozen in her native tongue from an underground bunker in the capital Kyiv, as people gathered around to watch. The video, posted to Facebook by user Marta Smekhova, has garnered more than 86,000 likes and been watched 3.6 million times since it was posted to the platform on Thursday. Menzel, who voiced the lead role of Elsa in Disney’s 2013 musical, showed her support for Amelia to her more than 680,000 followers on Twitter. The star reposted the video with yellow and a blue heart emojis and wrote: “We see you. We really, really see you.” Alongside the original video posted on Facebook, Ms Smekhova wrote that she had spoken to the little girl after spotting her drawing “bright pictures” in the dim light of the shelter. Translated from Ukrainian to English by Google, her post reads: “She told (me) that in addition to drawing she loves to sing… and whispered her dream that she wants to sing on the big stage in front of an audience. “I said do you see how many people are here? Here for them you will sing.” Ms Smekhova wrote that she was initially worried that no-one would be able to hear Amelia’s singing, but continued: “From the first word there was complete silence in the bomb shelter.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
LISTEN AGAIN
LISTEN PAST THE WORDS
LISTEN PAST THE FAMILIAR TUNE
and hear. . .
I don’t speak and certainly don’t sing Ukrainian
but I knew the song from the melody
and isn’t that a great definition of
F A I T H :
NOT ALWAYS UNDERSTANDING THE WORDS
BUT KNOWING THE MELODY
. . .there is much in this World
that makes me question
or worse,
D O U B T
but hearing that little girl’s voice
gives a little bit of boost of faith in humanity
and how it continues to excel in the
face of evil. . .
FOR TODAY
maybe that little girl’s voice
is the only bit of faith
we need right now. . .
LET IT GO
Not ANOTHER Birthday
Mark Twain
once said,
“The two most important days in your life are
THE DAY YOU ARE BORN
a n d
THE DAY YOU FIND OUT WHY”
We celebrate a person’s Birthday
Not because of the Day that they were born
But because of what they have born
Because of what they have given Birth in us. . .
I’ve celebrated well over 36
of my wife,
Erin’s Birthday’s
with her
And not one of them
has ever been without the over apparent
R E C O G N I T I O N
that I,
that many
are far more better
no so much
because she’s been Born
but because of what she has BIRTHED
in us. . .
Erin
creates
CARING CATALYSTS
in everyone she meets
or those who come across
her paths
“I never saw it coming
and all of a sudden
there was YOU
and I don’t have to live without you anymore. . .”
which means that the best
Birthday Gift of all
Is what you cause to be born in others. . .
Your Colorful Confetti
just doesn’t’ flutter from you. . .
IT EXPLODES ALL OVER US
and
THROUGH US
There’s no Candle on a Cake
that could ever illuminate more
and it’s
u n e x t i n g u i s h a b l e
Some actually powerfully prove
their Flicker
never compares to the
F L A M E
they ignite
and spread to others
. . .talk about a
fortunate inextinguishable inferno. . .
IT’S IN EVERY ONE OF US
I first saw this clip of
It’s In Everyone Of Us
by David Pomeranz
nearly 30 years ago
and yet
T O D A Y
it feels
new all over again
with one simple message:
LET’S GET ALONG
The seeds of Peace lie within each of us;
but no seed grows that’s not planted,
nurtured,
harvested
and ultimately
s h a r e d. . .
And the tools
are already in your hands
to be used
. . .will you?
W H E N ?
but a realization
waiting for you
to make it happen
It’s TIME to
A C T
like IT
THE POWER OF ONE
Paul Farmer, a physician, anthropologist and humanitarian who gained global acclaim for his work delivering high-quality health care to some of the world’s poorest people, died on Monday on the grounds of a hospital and university he had helped establish in Butaro, Rwanda. He was 62.
The cause was an “acute cardiac event,” according to a statementby Partners in Health, the global public health organization that Dr. Farmer helped found.
Dr. Farmer attracted public renown with “Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, a Man Who Would Cure the World,” a 2003 book by Tracy Kidder that described the extraordinary efforts he would make to care for patients, sometimes walking hours to their homes to ensure they were taking their medication.
He was a practitioner of “social medicine,” arguing there was no point in treating patients for diseases only to send them back into the desperate circumstances that contributed to them in the first place. Illness, he said, has social roots and must be addressed through social structures.
Though he worked in the world of development, he often took a critical view of international aid, preferring to work with local providers and leaders. And he often lived among the people he was treating, moving his family to Rwanda and Haiti for extended periods.
News of Dr. Farmer’s death rippled through the worlds of medicine and public health on Monday.
“There are so many people that are alive because of that man,” Dr. Rochelle P. Walensky, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said in a brief interview, adding that she wanted to compose herself before speaking further.
Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, President Biden’s top medical adviser, broke down in tears during an interview, in which he said he and Dr. Farmer had been like “soul brothers.”
Remembering Paul Farmer (1959-2022)
The pioneer of global heath died on Feb. 21, 2022. He was 62.
- Obituary: Dr. Farmer, a physician and anthropologist, sought to bring high-quality health care to some of the world’s poorest people.
- ‘Mountains Beyond Mountains’: The 2003 book by Tracy Kidder told Dr. Farmer’s life story. Read the first chapter here.
- His Writing: In “Fevers, Feuds and Diamonds,” Dr. Farmer examined the inequalities that worsened Ebola’s spread in West Africa in 2014.
In the latter part of his career, Dr. Farmer became a public health luminary; the subject of a 2017 documentary, “Bending the Arc”; and the author of 12 books.
In 2020, when he was awarded the $1 million Berggruen Prize, given annually to an influential thought leader, the chairman of the prize committee said Dr. Farmer had “reshaped our understanding” of “what it means to treat health as a human right and the ethical and political obligations that follow.”
Dr. Farmer, who never settled into the easy life of an elder statesman, was vigorously involved in the response to the Covid-19 pandemic, prodding the Biden administration to drop intellectual property barriers that prevented pharmaceutical companies from sharing their technology.
“It’s not just about health security, in the senses of defending yourself,” he said. “It’s not just about charity, although that’s not so bad. It’s also about pragmatic solidarity with those in need of assistance.”
“When you settle on a problem, devote the resources to it and have at least some ability to incorporate new information, every time, it gets better,” he says. “I don’t have any experience, anywhere, where you just apply yourself, along with others, and then do not see progress. My optimism has pretty honest roots. “Although,” Farmer adds after a brief pause, “I would probably be an optimist even if not.” “I’m going to sound very touchy-feely-ish, but it’s [about] compassion and empathy and fellow feeling,” Farmer says. “You can’t do anything in public health without fellow feeling.”
Paul Edward Farmer Jr. was born on Oct. 26, 1959, in North Adams, Mass. Paul’s mother, Ginny (Rice) Farmer, worked as a supermarket cashier, and his father, Paul Sr., was a salesman and high school math teacher.
When Paul was around 12, his father bought an old bus and fitted it with bunks, converting it into a mobile home. Paul, his parents and his five siblings spent the next few years traveling, mostly in Florida, living for a time on a boat moored on a bayou. He credited this period with giving him “a very compliant GI system,” a knack for sleeping anywhere and an inability to be shy or embarrassed.
After graduating from Duke University, he moved to Haiti, volunteering in Cange, a settlement in the central Artibonite plateau of the country. He arrived toward the end of the dictatorship of Jean-Claude Duvalier, when Haiti’s hospital system was so threadbare that patients had to pay for basic supplies, like medical gloves or a blood transfusion, if they wanted treatment.
In a letter to a friend, he wrote that his stint at the hospital wasn’t turning out as he had expected. “It’s not that I’m unhappy working here,” said the letter, excerpted in Mr. Kidder’s book. “The biggest problem is that the hospital is not for the poor. I’m taken aback. I really am. Everything has to be paid for in advance.”
Dr. Farmer decided to open a different kind of clinic. He returned to the United States to attend Harvard Medical School and earn a degree in anthropology, but he continued to spend much of his time in Cange, returning to Harvard for exams and laboratory work.
Over the years, Dr. Farmer raised millions of dollars for an ever-expanding network of community health facilities. He had a contagious enthusiasm and considerable nerve. When Thomas J. White, who owned a large construction company in Boston, asked to meet him, he insisted that the meeting take place in Haiti.
Mr. White eventually contributed $1 million in seed money to Partners in Health, which Dr. Farmer founded in 1987 along with Ophelia Dahl, whom he had met volunteering in Haiti; a Duke classmate, Todd McCormack; and a Harvard classmate, Dr. Jim Yong Kim.
The clinic in Haiti, at first a single room, grew over the years to a network of 16 medical centers in the country, with a local staff of almost 7,000.
Among them was a teaching hospital in Mirebalais, about 40 miles north of Port-au-Prince, that opened in 2013 and offered chemotherapy drugs, a gleaming new $700,000 CT scanner and three operating rooms with full-time trauma surgeons. There, poor patients with difficult diseases paid a basic fee of around $1.50 a day for treatment, including medication.
Partners in Health also expanded into Rwanda, where Dr. Farmer helped the government restructure the country’s health system, improving health outcomes in areas like infant mortality and the H.I.V. infection rate.
Dr. Farmer died in Butaro, a mountain town on the border of Uganda where he and Partners in Health collaborated with the Rwandan government to build a complex devoted to health and health education. Dr. Farmer had homes in Rwinkwavu, Rwanda; Cange, Haiti; and Miami.
Dr. Farmer also helped develop new public health approaches in Peru, Russia and Lesotho, among other places.
He was particularly proud of the fact that the clinics he helped build were staffed by local doctors and nurses whom he had trained.
Over the years, he kept in touch with many of his patients, as well as their children and grandchildren. He was godfather to more than 100 children, most of them in Haiti, said Laurie Nuell, a close friend and board director at Partners in Health.
Over the weekend, Dr. Farmer sent her a photo of a colorful bouquet of flowers he had put together for one of his terminally ill patients in Rwanda. “Not my best work,” the accompanying text said.
“He had a very tender heart,” she said. “Seeing pain and suffering was very hard for him. It just hurt him. I’m a social worker by training. One thing I learned is about detachment. He wasn’t detached from anyone. That’s the beauty of it.”
As long as poverty and inequality persist, as long as people are wounded and imprisoned and despised, we humans will need accompaniment–practical, spiritual, intellectual.
– Paul Farmer –
CAN ONE PERSON MAKE A DIFFERENCE
CAN ONE PERSON
ACTUALLY BE
A CONTAGIOUS CARING CATALYST. . .
CAN YOU BE
THE CASE IN POINT
OF PROVING IT
(or not)
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