It’s one thing to take a song
and make it your song;
It’s even better
if you make it ANOTHER’S. . .
yea. . .
Please make Your Song
ANOTHER’S song. . .
The Sharing will be the Caring. . .
Make your life,
your living
SING OUT LOUD
especially for all those
who have forgotten
they have their own Song
to SHARE, too. . .
L O V I N G
An Australian sheep farmer has paid his own unique tribute to his beloved aunt. Ben Jackson was unable to attend his Aunt Deb’s funeral due to pandemic restrictions. So, he laid barley out in a field in the shape of a love heart and let his pregnant ewes show how much he cared. . .
Q U E S T I O N :
HOW DO YOU SHOW YOUR LOVE
If you wait to celebrate
VALENTINE’S DAY
on February 14. . .
YOU’VE WAITED TOO LONG
GONE FISHING
Sometimes the greatest
F I S H
caught are the ones
you never put a line in the water
to catch. . .
In fact,
those fish swim everywhere
in, out, through your imagination
for the greatest tales ever. . .
When this not-not-so-small-minnow
jumped into my boat
I wasn’t ‘fishing’ for it but
it caught me way before I even thought of reeling it in. . .
It birthed
almost immediately these
poetic thoughts:
FIRST TIMES
I don’t remember
the first time
I sucked a lemon
but I’m sure it
prepared me for the
second time
I knowingly wouldn’t
suck up to pucker up
again. . .
Candle flame burns
Electrical outlet shocks
Black ice falls
Hit the thumb instead of the nail hammerings
Hot pans on hotter stoves
Stumbles off of shaky branches
All First Times
that make a
Second Time
not so much a lesson learned
as one to be remembered
to ever be taught
again. . .
FISHING BEFORE YOU KNOW HOW TO FISH Courtney Martin Through the pines and the one maple I hear her. I shouldn’t have gone fishing if I didn’t know how to fish. I shouldn’t have gone fishing if I didn’t know how to fish. There she stands legs impossibly long pink and black polka dot swimsuit baggy pole in her hands and a little oval sunfish impossibly on her hook. I don’t tell her, but I do think Oh, sweet girl, life is always like that. Fishing before you know how to fish. Leaving before you know how to leave. Speaking before you know how to speak. Fighting before you know how to fight. Loving before you know how to love. Dying before you know how to die. We are all the child with the pole worrying about who we’ve hurt. And we are all the fish on the hook, hoping for mercy. Her aunt hears her muttering prayer and though she hasn’t unhooked a fish in 30 years grabs the wriggling innocent in her hands and dislodges metal from cheek. And this, too, is all of us. Saved again and again by prayer we didn’t know we were saying and a witness we forgot was listening. Thank you, Miss Courtney for taking us Fishing before we knew we even had a pole, bait and some not-always-needed-know-how. . . . |
IT’S IN EVERYONE OF US
This great David Pomeranz song first came out in the early 90’s and the video was stunning as it morphed from face to face to illustrate that IT IS IN EVERY ONE OF US and now this is a new version that tries to tell us what we know, what we know that we know, what we bet our lives that we know and yet. . .for the life of us, don’t act like we KNOW at all. . . or maybe even more importantly KNOW:
The Way of Love
To love without conditions,
when others withhold love.
To refrain from judgment,
when others are judging.
To speak kindly, when
others speak with hostility.
To be open and trusting,
when others are fearful.
To be generous and giving,
when others are selfish.
To share joy and gratitude,
when others are sharing anger.
To be as simple as a child,
at peace with the Universe.
This is the way of love.
IT’S IN EVERY ONE OF US
and it’s long past time
to
S H O W
I T
LEVEL UP
N O
I didn’t lose my mind; this is the the video I posted on this past Monday’s blog and as A Caring Catalyst but also a real, live CHANGE MAKER. . .
This hairstylist had a job he was paid to do. . .
Beyond the job, he had the same options every other cause-driven compassionate human being has for comforting someone who is struggling.
Maybe think of these options as “Levels of Sacrificial Giving.” Each level requires a bit more sacrifice on the part of the giver, thereby imbuing the act with an increasing measure of beauty.
LEVEL 1: WORDS
Saying something genuine to affirm the sufferer’s enduring worth.
LEVEL 2: UTILITY
Supplying helpful goods, services, or money for the sufferer’s use.
LEVEL 3: TOUCH
A tender gesture to inhabit the same physical space as the sufferer.
LEVEL 4: TRANSFER
A permanent exchange from giver to sufferer (e.g., organ donation).
LEVEL 5: CO-SUFFERING
Voluntarily joining the sufferer to share the experience of their pain.
This hairstylist is a Level 5 Giver.
It begs the simple question:
ARE YOU A LEVEL FIVE GIVER
I’ve come to learn that no ironclad argument exists for convincing someone that Level 5 Giving is worthwhile or even rational.
The beauty of an act of Level 5 Giving either pierces you in a life-changing way or it doesn’t.
My hope for you and me is that this act, or another like it, so pierces us that we level up our giving in a world that is groaning louder and louder for it every day. . .
JOIN ME
Lets LEVEL UP
always to a better way. . .
A DEEPER “I’M SORRY”
“I’M SORRY”
See, that wasn’t so hard was it
B U T
Did you mean it. . .
Did they feel it. . .
DID THEY BELIEVE IT. . . ?
Do you use these words
when you apologze?
It’s time to stop, researchers say
There’s something very powerful about receiving or giving a heartfelt, genuine apology.
Bad apologies, on the other hand, can be disastrous and lead to more hurt.
The new book, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies, draws from a broad range of research to explain the power of apologies, why we don’t always get good ones, and the best way to tell someone you’re sorry.
Co-authors Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy break down the six (and a half) steps to great apologies. They are:
- Say you’re sorry. Not that you “regret,” not that you are “devastated.” Say you’re “sorry.”
- Say what it is that you’re apologizing for. Be specific.
- Show you understand why it was bad, take ownership, and show that you understand why you caused hurt.
- Don’t make excuses.
- Say why it won’t happen again. What steps are you taking?
- If it’s relevant, make reparations: “I’m going to pay for the dry cleaning. Just send the bill to me. I’m going to do my best to fix what I did.”
“These six steps are relevant for adults, for children, for corporations, for institutions, for governments,” Ingall said. “And six-and-a-half is ‘listen.’ People want to be heard, and don’t jump over them. Let the person that you hurt have their say.”
Ingall said saying the word “sorry” may seem obvious, but it didn’t always happen. Instead, people say things like they’re “regretful,” and this isn’t the same thing.
“Regret is about how I feel,” Ingall said. “We’re all regretful. ‘Sorry’ is about how the other person feels. And when you apologize, you have to keep the other person’s feelings at top of mind.”
Then there are the words not to say during an apology.
Ingall points to words like “obviously” (“If it was obvious, you wouldn’t have to say it”) and “already” (“‘I’ve already apologized’ is a thing we hear a lot”), and the qualifiers like “sorry if…” and “sorry but…” and “I didn’t meant to.”
“Intent is far less important than impact when it comes to apologies,” Ingall said.
McCarthy adds that a bad apology can even make things worse.
“It’s akin to the cover-up being worse than a crime, if you make an apology that says, you know, ‘You shouldn’t even have a white sofa,’ or, ‘You shouldn’t have been standing there,'” she said.
On the other hand, a great — even late — apology can have tremendous healing power, the authors say.
“I received a letter years after a breakup from a boyfriend,” Ingall said. “And he just said, ‘I wanted you to know I’m getting married. And I’m aware that I was often not a good boyfriend. And I want you to know that I was listening, even when it didn’t seem like I wasn’t listening. And I’m going to be a better husband because of our relationship.'”
So. . .when’s the last time you apologized. . . ?
How did that go for you?
Is it worth showing up and maybe saying
maybe SHOWING it in another way. . .
I’m Sorry. . .
maybe it’s worth another try in another way just to make sure your
“I’M SORRY
goes a little bit
d
e
e
p
e
r
.
.
.
.
CHANGEMAKING
C H A N G E M A K I N G
. . .isn’t always about launching and scaling new ventures and initiatives. Sometimes it’s about turning an everyday moment into a moment of positive change. These are opportunities that we can’t plan for, but that when they appear, give us a chance to step up, take action, and change someone’s life. Some call that microleadership. . .I merely call it CHANGEMAKING or better, LIFECHANGING and the best part about THAT is everyone of us is capable of making IT happen at any time with anyone. . .This video is a moving example of how we all can have impact, anywhere.
Watch this barber shave off his own hair in unity with a cancer patient shaving hers and see how these small acts can add up to huge impact and then go and DUPLICATE IT as often as you can, everywhere you can, with whoever you can. . .
Being a CHANGEMAKER is being A Caring Catalyst on steroids
K I C K
I T
U P
S A W U B O N A
One of the official languages of South Africa is Zulu (isiZulu in Zulu). It is spoken by about 10 million people. There is a word in Zulu that is used in greetings: “Sawubona”.
It means, “I see you.” Not in the sense of, “I see you standing before me, and I see that you are wearing blue jeans and sweater, and I see that your hair is done up today, and I see that you are wearing your glasses instead of contacts.”
Sawubona is much more than that.
At its heart, Sawubona means, “I see you as a person with a history and culture and hopes and dreams and fears. I see you for who you are. I see you and I respect you.”
Sawubona has been described by worker and community leader Orland Bishop as an invitation to participate in each other’s life. Sawubona, he says, means that people give each other what they need to enhance that moment of life.
Every time I stand before a person, a patient or an audience, a gathering of persons, I remind myself with a deep, purposely cleansing breath what I invite you do; KNOW that these are not nameless, faceless people who are are before you. They are individuals with lives that are as rich and complicated as yours. They are people who want to be seen, who want to be understood, who want to be helped, who want to be respected.
As you look, as you see, pause a moment and think, Sawubona. I see you.
If you carry that intention, bring that forth purposely, you will be looked back at with eyes that say, “Yebo sawubona. We see you too.”
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com
Translation:
AS A CARING CATALYST
I don’t look at you with my eyes
I see you in my
H E A R T
and accept you as you
A R E
not to be
CHANGED
but possibly be
CHANGED
BY YOU
and maybe
better still
WITH YOU
S A W U B O N A
SNOW MAN LOVE
Sometimes a song is much more than notes
and lyrics are much more than words. . .
Don’t cry snowman, not in front of me Who will catch your tears if you can’t catch me, darlin’? If you can’t catch me, darlin’? Don’t cry, snowman, don’t leave me this way A puddle of water can’t hold me close, baby Can’t hold me close, baby
I want you to know that I’m never leaving Cause I’m Mrs. Snow, ’till death we’ll be freezing Yeah, you are my home, my home for all seasons So come on let’s go Let’s go below zero and hide from the sun I’ll love you forever where we’ll have some fun Yes, let’s hit the North Pole and live happily Please don’t cry no tears now, it’s Christmas baby
My snowman and me My snowman and me Baby
Don’t cry, snowman, don’t you fear the sun Who’ll carry me without legs to run, honey? Without legs to run, honey? Don’t cry, snowman, don’t you shed a tear Who’ll hear my secrets if you don’t have ears, baby? If you don’t have ears, baby?
I want you to know that I’m never leaving ‘Cause I’m Mrs. Snow, ’till death we’ll be freezing Yeah, you are my home, my home for all seasons So come on let’s go Let’s go below zero and hide from the sun I’ll love you forever where we’ll have some fun Yes, let’s hit the North Pole and live happily Please don’t cry no tears now, it’s Christmas baby
My snowman and me My snowman and me Baby
Notes: I don’t own anything. All credits goes to Sia and the company Cineplex which created this animation. Please support Sia. 🙂 Don’t forget to check them: http://www.cineplex.com/ http://www.youtube.com/siavevo/
Sometimes a song is much more than notes
and lyrics are much more than words. . .
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE THEM
YOU-NIQUELY YOU
THE OLDER WE GET
THE CLOSER WE GET
well. . .
You can fill in the ________________________________
What some call
R E T I R E M E N T
others call: STARTING OVER
others call: THE NEXT CHAPTER
others call: THE GRAVY YEARS
others call: THE BEST PART
others call: RE-TIRED-MENT
others call: _______________
A couple of Sunday’s ago I switched from reading the New York Times Sunday Edition to watching “60 Minutes” One of it’s featured stories was about Hans Zimmer. It immediately got me to writing this Friday Blog post and even more about being devoted to never retiring and most of all always (ALL-WAYS) reinventing myself to continually being: MYSELF–AN (EVER EVOLVING) ORIGINAL
All of this prompted was prompted by this interview with German-born composer Hans Zimmer. You may not know his name as well as John Williams, but he has scored many blockbuster films like “Top Gun: Maverick,” “Dune,” and “Lion King.” He said from his earliest days learning the piano, “I did not want to play other people’s music.” He has certainly passed well beyond that: it’s hard to categorize his work (or even to completely discern all the instruments that make his unique compositions.) Towards the end of the interview he was asked about RETIREMENT and he in essence said that he couldn’t imagine it because he was energized and at his best and gets jazzed by creating/re-creating himself. (THAT ONE STRUMMED THE STRINGS ON MY HEART AND BLEW THE WOODWINDS OF MY SOUL) We all know it’s not terribly easy to BE ORIGINAL. There will always be pressures to conform, to not “rock the boat,” to “get back in line.” We also know that great strides personally and professionally are rarely made by settling for cutting with the grain. This week’s challenge (and I’m right there with you) — what can you initiate this week, TODAY, that will set new standards, travel down new paths, and establish once and for all that you are an original?
ITS NOT ENOUGH TO OWN YOUR OWN FINGERPRINT. . .
You have to make sure
that you make indelible
I M P R I N T S
And lasting impressions
YOU-NIQUELY
your own to have and share
now and
for-an-evermore. . .
BE THE SYMPHONY
you are ever composing
and never forget to
CONDUCT IT
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