The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

NEIGHBOR

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Neighbor By JJ Heller, David Heller, and Andy Gullahorn

Sometimes it’s easier to jump to conclusions Than walk across the street It’s like I’d rather fill the blanks with illusions Than take the time to see

You are trying to close the back door of your car You are balancing the groceries and a baby in your arms You are more than just a sign in your front yard You are my neighbor

I can get so lost in the mission Of defending what I think I’ve been surfing on a sea of opinions But just behind the screen

You are grateful that the work day’s finally done You are stuck in miles of traffic, looking at your phone You are tryin’ to feel a little less alone You are my neighbor

When the chasm between us feels so wide That it’s hard to imagine the other side But we don’t have to see things eye to eye For me to love you like you are my neighbor My neighbor

Oh, to fear the unfamiliar Is the easy way to go But I believe we are connected more than we might ever know

There’s a light that shines on both the rich and poor Looks beyond where we came from and who we voted for ‘Till I can’t see a stranger anymore I see my neighbor May my heart be an open door to my neighbor You are my neighbor

S O M E T I M E S
Music is more than MUSIC
and Words are more than
W          O           R           D          S

From the beginning of time the question has rung out,
sometimes louder than softer:
JUST WHO IS MY NEIGHBOR?
No matter what you say, You
SHOW THE ANSWER,
Person by Person,
Neighbor by Neighbor…
with this certainty:
It  just isn’t the person next door or across the street…
SO JUST WHO IS
YOUR NEIGHBOR.          .          .          ?

MORE THAN A SPECK

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Bits of grit
the Wind
scatters us
where it will
as we travel
to destinations
not yet GPSable
but have waited
an Eternity
to welcome every
irritating speck
of us
Home
(however we define it)
(wherever we find it)
or it unearths
UsOUR STRENGTH
OUR POWER
IS FOUND 
BY RECOGNIZING 
THAT AS MERE SPECKS 
WE ARE NOT A PART OF A MOUNTAIN
BUT THE MOUNTAIN IS A PART OF
U S

 

Ashes, ASHES, We ALL Fall Down

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images-2

“. . .WE HAVE TALLER BUILDINGS BUT SHORTER TEMPERS; WIDER FREEWAYS BUT NARROWER VIEWPOINTS; WE SPEND MORE BUT HAVE LESS; WE BUY MORE BUT ENJOY IT LESS; WE HAVE BIGGER HOUSES AND SMALLER FAMILIES; MORE CONVENIENCES, YET LESS TIME; WE HAVE MORE DEGREES BUT LESS SENSE; MORE KNOWLEDGE BUT LESS JUDGMENT; MORE EXPERTS, YET MORE PROBLEMS; WE HAVE MORE GADGETS BUT LESS SATISFACTION; MORE MEDICINE, YET LESS WELLNESS; WE TAKE MORE VITAMINS BUT SEE FEWER RESULTS. WE DRINK TOO MUCH; SMOKE TOO MUCH; SPEND TOO RECKLESSLY; LAUGH TOO LITTLE; DRIVE TOO FAST; GET TOO ANGRY QUICKLY; STAY UP TOO LATE; GET UP TOO TIRED; READ TOO SELDOM; WATCH TV TOO MUCH AND PRAY TOO SELDOM.

WE HAVE MULTIPLIED OUR POSSESSIONS, BUT REDUCED OUR VALUES; WE FLY IN FASTER PLANES TO ARRIVE THERE QUICKER, TO DO LESS AND RETURN SOONER; WE SIGN MORE CONTRACTS ONLY TO REALIZE FEWER PROFITS; WE TALK TOO MUCH; LOVE TOO SELDOM, AND LIE TOO OFTEN. WE’VE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE A LIVING, BUT NOT A LIFE; WE’VE ADDED YEARS TO LIFE,
NOT LIFE TO YEARS. . . .”

I miss George Carlin.

He died June 22, 2008

He proved to us that ONE out of ONE of us dies.        .       .

T           H           A            T

 we have all been born with a sexually transmitted, terminal disease

C   A   L   L   E   D       L   I   F   E

I always thought that the above sentiments were George’s.        .        .

but NO.        .        .

they are not:

They’re not the words of the Dalai Lama’s or a Parkland Florida School student’s, President Biden’s or
Pope Francis’s.         .         .

THE  PARADOX  OF  OUR  TIME

it turns out, actually originated with

D r.  B o b   M o o r e h e a d,

a retired minister near Seattle;

Big Deal, huh?

Just like us.          .          .

One not-so-good

Ah, Ahhh, Ahhhhhh, Ahhhhhhhhh-Choooooooooooo

and we’re floating away never to be the same again;

because as we’ve been poetically

P   U   T :

“YOU ARE DUST AND TO DUST YOU SHALL RETURN.      .      . “

Humpty Dumpty would have a better shot of being seamlessly put back together again, minus all the King’s Men’s and their Horses!

Ashes,

Ashes,

We

All

F   a   l  l           D o w n.          .          .

and never get up quite the same way ever again

(A N D   T H A T ‘ S   T H E   G O O D   N E W S !)

Once you’ve been Smudged,

You never become

U N – S M U D G E D

(AND   THAT’S   EVEN   BETTER NEWS.     .     .)

If   you

Figure   IT  

o   u   t

and

A   c   c   e   p   t

I    T

again and again and again and.          .         .

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-Choooooooooooooooooo

B l e s s   Y o u

ASHES

ASHES

WE ALL

FALL DOWN
hard
harder
Hardest
and it hurts
but before we become
p a r t i c l e s     i n     t h e     w i n d
We swirl
We SWIRL AROUND
WE SWIRL
as we rise
RISE
R            I            S            E
never to settle
a g a i n

YOUR SONG

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It’s one thing to take a song
and make it your song;
It’s even better
if you make it ANOTHER’S.     .     .
yea.     .     .
Please make Your Song
ANOTHER’S song.        .        .
The Sharing will be the Caring. . .
Make your life,
your living
SING OUT LOUD
especially for all those
who have forgotten
they have their own Song
to SHARE, too.       .       .

THE NON-VISIBLE ART MUSEUM

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Back in the 90’s SEINFELD was the hottest TV show around with the tag line, “IT’S A SHOW ABOUT NOTHING.”  It’s backdrop was the city of New York and now it seems like there’s a Museum in the heart of New York that’s mimicking a little bit of the SEINFELD show; It’s a Museum with NO ART–ZERO but truly a place where IDEAS ALONE ARE HUNG ON THE WALLS

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  What, indeed.  When my friend John shared this with me a little over a week ago, I was beyond fascinated and confused.  And part of what unites all of us, reminds us, that at our best and worst, we are all living creatures who are often FASCINATED AND CONFUSED at the same time.  In that state, we not only operate, we COOPERATE at a very high level, most of the time without notice.

THE MUSEUM OF NON-VISIBLE ART

Composed entirely of ideas, the work that the

Museum of Non-Visible Art showcases remains unseen.

Although the artworks themselves are not visible,

the descriptions are readable, and open our eyes to

a parallel world built of images and words.

This world is not visible, but it exists, as surely as thought itself exists.

The Manifesto of MONA explains everything else about the why and how.

And what a Manifesto:

RULES FOR THE CREATION OF THE NON-VISIBLE

You shall not add to the banal. (You shall not build.)

You shall not litter the world with art. (You shall not make.)
What you have not made must be beautiful.
What you have not made must have value.
You must bring what you have not made to market.
(The market will give it value.)
You must give to the market absence.
(Money is banal until spent.)
You must offer the market anguish.
(What is spent is painful.)
You must make the market beautiful.
(Nothing beautiful without pain.)
You must increase the world behind the eyes.
The wreck of the Medusa.
It left us with phosphenes.
You must conjure them and sell them.
Only when you have done this are you one of us.
————————————–
By Douglas Anthony Cooper
In accordance with Praxis
(Brainard and Delia Carey)

FASCINATED AND CONFUSED.          .          .          ?

Have you heard the story of the architect from Shiraz who designed the world’s most beautiful mosque? No one had ever conjured up such a design. It was breathtakingly daring yet well-proportioned, divinely sophisticated, yet radiating a distinctly human warmth. Those who saw the plans were awe-struck.

Famous builders begged the architect to allow them to erect the mosque; wealthy people came from afar to buy the plans; thieves devised schemes to steal them; powerful rulers considered taking them by force. Yet the architect locked himself in his study, and after staring at the plans for three days and three nights, burned them all.

The architect couldn’t stand the thought that the realized building would have been subject to the forces of degradation and decay, eventual collapse or destruction by barbarian hordes. During those days and nights in his study he saw his creation profaned and reduced to dust, and was terribly unsettled by the sight.

Better that it remain perfect. Better that it was never built.

The story is a fable, but its main idea — that a thing’s ideal state is before it comes into existence, that it is better to not be born — is equal parts terrifying and uncanny. – C.B.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.         .          .
STRANGE
ODD
SURREAL
STUPID
BRILLIANT
Maybe the TRICK is the TREAT
and whatever is beyond the
.            .             .

Well before you decide, how about you take a closer gander yourself and WONDER as you WANDER 

DARE beyond a smidgen of DARING and

I              M              A              G              I              N              E

https://museumofnonvisibleart.com/

(Be fascinated and confused as you forgo perfection and go full throttle for PROGRESS)

GONE FISHING

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Sometimes the greatest
F I S H
caught are the ones
you never put a line in the water
to catch.          .          .
In fact,
those fish swim everywhere
in, out, through your imagination
for the greatest tales ever.  .   .
When this not-not-so-small-minnow
jumped into my boat
I wasn’t ‘fishing’ for it but
it caught me way before I even thought of reeling it in.       .      .
It birthed
almost immediately these
poetic thoughts:

FIRST TIMES

I don’t remember
the first time
I sucked a lemon
but I’m sure it
prepared me for the
second time
I knowingly wouldn’t
suck up to pucker up
again.  .  .
Candle flame burns
Electrical outlet shocks
Black ice falls
Hit the thumb instead of the nail hammerings
Hot pans on hotter stoves
Stumbles off of shaky branches
All First Times
that make a 
Second Time
not so much a lesson learned
as one to be remembered
to ever be taught
again.   .   .

IT’S IN EVERYONE OF US

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This great David Pomeranz song first came out in the early 90’s and the video was stunning as it morphed from face to face to illustrate that IT IS IN EVERY ONE OF US and now this is a new version that tries to tell us what we know, what we know that we know, what we bet our lives that we know and yet.    .    .for the life of us, don’t act like we KNOW at all.      .       . or maybe even more importantly KNOW:

The Way of Love

To love without conditions,
when others withhold love.
To refrain from judgment,
when others are judging.
To speak kindly, when
others speak with hostility.

To be open and trusting,
when others are fearful.
To be generous and giving,
when others are selfish.
To share joy and gratitude,
when others are sharing anger.

To be as simple as a child,
at peace with the Universe.

This is the way of love.

image.png

IT’S IN EVERY ONE OF US
and it’s long past time
to
S  H  O  W
I  T

LEVEL UP

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https://youtu.be/5048ewoxZlQ

N O
I didn’t lose my mind; this is the the video I posted on this past Monday’s blog and as A Caring Catalyst but also a real, live CHANGE MAKER.     .     .

This hairstylist had a job he was paid to do.        .        .

Beyond the job, he had the same options every other cause-driven compassionate human being has for comforting someone who is struggling.

Maybe think of these options as “Levels of Sacrificial Giving.” Each level requires a bit more sacrifice on the part of the giver, thereby imbuing the act with an increasing measure of beauty.

LEVEL 1: WORDS
Saying something genuine to affirm the sufferer’s enduring worth.

LEVEL 2: UTILITY
Supplying helpful goods, services, or money for the sufferer’s use.

LEVEL 3: TOUCH
A tender gesture to inhabit the same physical space as the sufferer.

LEVEL 4: TRANSFER
A permanent exchange from giver to sufferer (e.g., organ donation).

LEVEL 5: CO-SUFFERING
Voluntarily joining the sufferer to share the experience of their pain.

This hairstylist is a Level 5 Giver.

It begs the simple question:
ARE YOU A LEVEL FIVE GIVER

I’ve come to learn that no ironclad argument exists for convincing someone that Level 5 Giving is worthwhile or even rational.

The beauty of an act of Level 5 Giving either pierces you in a life-changing way or it doesn’t.

My hope for you and me is that this act, or another like it, so pierces us that we level up our giving in a world that is groaning louder and louder for it every day.      .     .

JOIN ME
Lets LEVEL UP
always to a better way.     .     .

A DEEPER “I’M SORRY”

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“I’M SORRY”
See, that wasn’t so hard was it
B               U               T
Did you mean it.         .          .
Did they feel it.     .     .
DID THEY BELIEVE IT.          .           .           ?

Do you use these words

when you apologze?

It’s time to stop, researchers say

There’s something very powerful about receiving or giving a heartfelt, genuine apology.

Bad apologies, on the other hand, can be disastrous and lead to more hurt.

The new book, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies, draws from a broad range of research to explain the power of apologies, why we don’t always get good ones, and the best way to tell someone you’re sorry.

Co-authors Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy break down the six (and a half) steps to great apologies. They are:

  1. Say you’re sorry. Not that you “regret,” not that you are “devastated.” Say you’re “sorry.”
  2. Say what it is that you’re apologizing for. Be specific.
  3. Show you understand why it was bad, take ownership, and show that you understand why you caused hurt.
  4. Don’t make excuses.
  5. Say why it won’t happen again. What steps are you taking?
  6. If it’s relevant, make reparations: “I’m going to pay for the dry cleaning. Just send the bill to me. I’m going to do my best to fix what I did.”

“These six steps are relevant for adults, for children, for corporations, for institutions, for governments,” Ingall said. “And six-and-a-half is ‘listen.’ People want to be heard, and don’t jump over them. Let the person that you hurt have their say.”

Ingall said saying the word “sorry” may seem obvious, but it didn’t always happen. Instead, people say things like they’re “regretful,” and this isn’t the same thing.

“Regret is about how I feel,” Ingall said. “We’re all regretful. ‘Sorry’ is about how the other person feels. And when you apologize, you have to keep the other person’s feelings at top of mind.”

Then there are the words not to say during an apology.

Ingall points to words like “obviously” (“If it was obvious, you wouldn’t have to say it”) and “already” (“‘I’ve already apologized’ is a thing we hear a lot”), and the qualifiers like “sorry if…” and “sorry but…” and “I didn’t meant to.”

“Intent is far less important than impact when it comes to apologies,” Ingall said.

McCarthy adds that a bad apology can even make things worse.

“It’s akin to the cover-up being worse than a crime, if you make an apology that says, you know, ‘You shouldn’t even have a white sofa,’ or, ‘You shouldn’t have been standing there,'” she said.

On the other hand, a great — even late — apology can have tremendous healing power, the authors say.

“I received a letter years after a breakup from a boyfriend,” Ingall said. “And he just said, ‘I wanted you to know I’m getting married. And I’m aware that I was often not a good boyfriend. And I want you to know that I was listening, even when it didn’t seem like I wasn’t listening. And I’m going to be a better husband because of our relationship.'”

So.            .             .when’s the last time you apologized.        .        .         ?

How did that go for you?

Is it worth showing up and maybe saying
maybe SHOWING it in another way.          .          .
I’m Sorry.       .       .
maybe it’s worth another try in another way just to make sure your
“I’M SORRY
goes a little bit
d
e
e
p
e
r
.
.
.
.

CHANGEMAKING

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https://youtu.be/5048ewoxZlQ

C H A N G E M A K I N G

.          .          .isn’t always about launching and scaling new ventures and initiatives. Sometimes it’s about turning an everyday moment into a moment of positive change.  These are opportunities that we can’t plan for, but that when they appear, give us a chance to step up, take action, and change someone’s life. Some call that microleadership.         .         .I merely call it CHANGEMAKING or better, LIFECHANGING and the best part about THAT is everyone of us is capable of making IT happen at any time with anyone.       .       .This video is a moving example of how we all can have impact, anywhere.

Watch this barber shave off his own hair in unity with a cancer patient shaving hers and see how these small acts can add up to huge impact and then go and DUPLICATE IT as often as you can, everywhere you can, with whoever you can.   .   .

Being a CHANGEMAKER is being A Caring Catalyst on steroids
K   I   C   K
I  T
U     P

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man