The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

JUST BECAUSE’D

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Have you ever done

a     n     y     t     h     i     n     g

j   u   s   t       b   e   c   a   u   s   e.     .     .

Most of the time

we stay away from the

J u s t   B e c a u s e s.         .        .

it was the answer we got when

a real answer didn’t want to be given

or worse

there really was no real answer.       .       .

or worse, still—

when the envelope was pushed too far

with the final:

B  E  C  A  U  S  E

I     S A I D     S O !

But there’s another side of the

J   U   S   T        B   E   C   A   U   S   E

coin.        .        .

A lady who attends North Royalton Christian Church,

the small Church I serve

recently received a note in the mail

with the words:

J   U   S   T        B   E   C   A   U   S   E

that wrapped around a Hundred-Dollar Bill.        .        .

the same week I received the same note

with a $25 Giant Eagle Gift Card wrapped inside.       .       .

the same day I saw a mother and her son

standing in the check out line

waiting patiently for their turn to

pay for their goods;

 mom saw her son spying

the candy rack.       .       .

when she saw him zero in on a

S N I C K E R S     B A R

she picked it up and handed it to him

with a huge smile on her face

that matched the one looking back up

and simply said:

J   U   S   T        B   E   C   A   U  S   E

It got the

Caring Catalyst

in me thinking:

“W  H  Y       N  O  T?”

.         .         .Why not go around

J U S T     B E C A U S I N G

others.        .        .        ?

It has to be more productive

more producing

more effective

than merely finding painted rocks

with an email/FaceBook address

on the back

instructing to take a pic

before placing it somewhere else

j       u       s       t

so you can see where it travels

in the to and fro.          .          .

.           .           .So while pumping gas

I saw a man

who seemed to be wearing everything he owned

walking across the parking lot and perching himself

on a chair outside of a store

letting the sun shine on his face

as he squinted skyward

sipping on a cup of McDonald’s coffee.       .       .

I walked over to him

with my $25 gift card and asked him,

“How you doing?”

His response was epic:

“Blessed   by   the   Best!”

“Well, maybe  this  can  make  the  blessing  even  better,”

He spontaneously hugged me

.       .       .thanked me.       .       .

and I thanked him for the honor of allowing me to share.          .          .

As I drove away

his face was skyward once again

s m i l i n g

arms outstretched.           .          .

Have you ever been

J   U   S   T       B   E   C   A   U   S   E  ‘  D

I  don’t  want  to  hear  about  your

F I R S T

J   U   S   T       B   E   C   A   U   S   E

e x p e r i e n c e

I want to  s e e  your

h u n d r e d     and     f i r s t.          .          .

J   U   S   T        B   E   C   A   U   S   E 

The very simple  r i p p l e

you create

is the tsunami

a single person

needs to experience.          .          .

J O I N     M E:

 

 

Your Compassion Muscle

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images-4

If you had a Compassion Muscle.      .      .

WOULD YOU FLEX IT?

Would you ever use your Compassion Muscle?

Would you ever Exercise your Compassion Muscle?

How often?

Do you even have a Compassion Muscle.      .      .

Does anyone?

W     E     L     L  .        .        .

apparently you.      .      .

we do!

Many of us know that if we want to become more physically healthy, we can exercise.      .      .

but what if we want to improve our emotional health?

What if we want to actually train our

EMOTIONAL MUSCLES

such  as

C          O          M          P          A          S          S          I          O          N  ?

Do you think that such an exercise.      .      .

such training could actually improve our Lives?

Helen Weng, a Postdoctoral Scholar at UCSF, in conjunction with Andrew Fox, Alexander Shackman, Diane Stodola, Jessica Caldwell, Matthew Olson, Gregory Rogers, and Richard J. Davidson, University of Wisconsin-Madison actually provided a detailed study that proves after just a mere two weeks of online training, participants who practiced

C O M P A S S I O N    M E D I T A T I O N

every day, for two weeks, behaved more altruistically towards strangers compared to a comparison group taught an emotion regulation strategy derived from cognitive therapy.

W          A          I          T  .        .        . 

IT  also showed the  people taught Compassion who were the most altruistic showed the most changes in the way their brains responded to images of people suffering.

“These findings suggest that Compassion is a trainable skill, and that practice can actually alter the way our brains perceive suffering and increase our actions to relieve that suffering.”

H          E          N          C          E ,

Compassion is an emotional response of caring and wanting to help when encountering another’s suffering, and with practice, it is thought that Compassion can be enhanced and this will increase the likelihood of helping behavior–not only during the meditation practice (COMPASSION MUSCLE TRAINING), but out in the REAL WORLD when interacting with others.

T H E    R E S E A R C H

has shown that expert compassion meditation practitioners (over 10,000 hours of practice) show greater neural responses to suffering compared to control participants.

B U N K ?

Well.       .       .

you want to give it a spin?

To try the trainings, visit:

http://www.investigatinghealthyminds.org/compassion.html

As of April 2014 there have been well over 3700 people who have downloaded the Compassion Meditation Training

Will you make it  3 7 0 1 ?

Can, being provided with such knowledge and tools actually empower us to make changes that can benefit ourselves and our Communities, our World. . .?

The Research says so.       .       .

B     U     T

.     .     .is it possible,

.     .     .is it conceivable,

.     .     .is it realistic

.     .     .is it THINKABLE

that just maybe if we,

if given the choice between being

R I G H T     or     K I N D

we chose

K          I          N          D

the World

the Community

Us

You

ME

wouldn’t before our next breath

become more

C       O       M       P       A       S       S       I       O       N       A       T       E  ?

Pssssssst:

S T U D Y      M E      T H I S—-

TRY   IT

Children ONE and ALL

By 6 Comments

A   Sea   of   People   offer   the   most   unique   of   voyages.       .       .

It was a great night

for an outdoor concert.     .     .

but not just any concert;

It was the DEAD & Company Concert

at Blossom Music Center

near Cleveland, Ohio

And it was spectacular

.           .           . It had little to do with the

m   u   s   i   c

and certainly nothing to do with the massive

traffic jam

that made my usual 45 trip to Blossom

a three plus hour ordeal

which cost me

and many more

mostly the whole first set

of the show.           .           .

The       Saving       Grace?

The 20,000 concert goers

of all

shapes

sizes

sexes

ages

political ideations

literary preferences

religious opinions

hair  styles

clothing  choices.         .         .

came together for a little while

in a field

to listen to

more than just a few musical selections

from an iconic group;

we         just         came        together 

laughed

high-fived

showed kindness

gave consideration

were   Caring   Catalysts

with not just a few memories

but some life-long-changes

which will do much more than just

l          i          n          g           e          r

but to powerfully illustrate:

Love    in    the    Air    only    makes    a    D I F F E R E N C E    when    your    Sails    are    UP

Sadly.      .     .

I am not an official

D  E  A  D       H  E  A  D

I was there as an extension of a gift to my son,

C o n n o r.          .          .

but I became a part of the tribe

that night

that moment

and   now   a   lifetime   of

m             e             m             o             r             i             e             s

T    H    E          T    A    K    E            A    W    A    Y:

When a group of people come together

even   for   m u s i c

there’s   a   capacity   not   just   to   become

Children

One   and   All

a          g          a          i          n

but   more.       .       .

to   become   friends.       .       .

and

 m          o          r          e:

F            A            M            I            L            Y

 

 

Your Lunch Box

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https://youtu.be/SQuyCc1Cuac

So   just   what   is   in   your

L U N C H     B O X.      .     .

Maybe   the   bigger   question   is:

just

what

are

you

w   i   l   l   i   n   g

t  o

s            h            a            r            e.               .               .

and   the   greatest   question   yet:

A          R          E                  Y          O          U ?

EMPATHETIC-ED

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images-3

Have you?

Have you ever been EMPATHETIC-ED?

I mean.    .    .

the The New York Times. . .T W I C E  in the Sunday, July 12, 2015 edition (See at the Bottom of the Blog)

Stewart Butterfield’s article,

IS  YOUR  EMPATHY  ON  YOUR  RESUME?  

actually states:

“If you have no ability to empathize, then it’s difficult to give people feedback, and it’s difficult to help people improve.  Everything becomes harder.”

Daryl Cameron’s article: EMPATHY IS ACTUALLY A CHOICE, reports:

“It’s not that you can’t feel it.  You just don’t want to.”

Something like

e m p a t h y 

should never come down to

S  c  i  e  n  c  e, 

but what could actually offer more proof?

Decades of research, including behavioral studies, in which people act empathically in controlled situations, even when it’s in their self-interest not to,

and in MRI studies,

in which emotive brain structures activate when the subject hears about another person’s experience.

Let’s face it, it it weren’t for

E      M      P      A      T      H      Y

Authors and Hollywood would be out of business

.      .      .F O R E V E R

But.     .     .it doesn’t matter,  does it?

BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE

tells us, there are mental disorders, such as sociopathy, that stops people from being able to feel empathy.

BUT.     .     .

most people aren’t sociopaths.

Some research suggests that 4% of the population is sociopathic.       .       .

I’m terrible at Math.      .      .

but even I know that would obviously mean 96% of all humans feel empathy.      .      .

a pretty large number, huh?

What.         .         .

what does it matter?

If you’ve truly been

E  M  P  A  T  H  E  T  I  C – E  D

It means you care in return.    .    .

or you fake it.     .     .

or.       .       .

you   can’t   feel  it   all.   .   .   .

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/07/12/business/stewart-butterfield-of-slack-experience-with-empathy-required.html?

referrer=http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/07/12/opinion/sunday/empathy-is-actually-a-choice.html?referrer=

When Humility Dials a Phone

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Sometimes it happens to

M     E.        .        .

Y    o    u ?

Sometimes my inner and outer

Caring Catalyst

gets scabbed over

o  k.          .          .

C         A          L          L          O          U          S          E          D

and then it gets

s     o     f     t     e     n     e     d

with  the

s i m p l e s t

the most

s i g n i f i c a n t

things:

A  mere  phone  call.          .          .

I hadn’t heard from him in a long time–

y  e  a  r  s

We had been colleagues

but never close

and never social.        .        .

we might have seen each other across the room

at a conference or a luncheon presentation

but neither would make a move to meet

in the middle.     .     .

an acquaintance

nothing more

maybe even

l   e   s   s

and   then

I had heard recently after giving a presentation

at a local hospital

that he had suffered a severe stroke.     .     .

I think I reached out

benignly

via a FaceBook Instant Message

that I was thinking of him and wishing him the best

and then.     .     .

h       o       n       e       s       t        l       y

I     f o r g o t     a b o u t     him.          .          .

When the cell phone rang

I didn’t recognize the number

but I broke my rule of answering a

number I didn’t recognize

and it was him.       .       .

He quickly identified himself

and even before I could say

h       e       l       l       o

or ask him how he was doing

he  was  apologizing.     .     .

asking forgiveness for

not keeping in touch

talking about me behind my back

not being supportive when he knew I had been going through a particularly tough professional situation.       .       .

and then through broken sobs

he was asking if I and everyone I knew

could pray for his healing—

not his complete healing from the stroke,

just a partial healing that would allow him to play his music

on the piano and guitar

he often did for patients and families

and with a jazz group he would jam with

on Friday nights.          .          .

the  scab  gave  loose.        .        .

the callous

s        o        f        t        e        n        d

Sometimes it happens to me.        .        .

y  o  u ?

Sometimes my inner and outer

Caring Catalyst

gets scabbed

ok.          .          .

C        A         L        L        O        U        S        E        D;

Has that happened to you?

When was the last time?

Me?

It happened when

Humility    Dialed    A    Phone

and

I

a            n            s            w            e            r            e            d

the scab gave loose

the callous–

softened.           .          .

Me.        .        .        ?

h     u     m     b     l     y        

 c h a n g e d

The Happiness BEAST

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S i m p l e    Q u e s t i o n:

W H A T      M A K E S     Y O U     H A P P Y ?

A good Cigar

Some fine music 

Adult Beverage

A Book

A Beautiful Outside Setting

?               ?               ?               ?               ?

Not for everyone, huh?

Is there that overwhelming

100%

slam-dunk

one-size-fits-and-pleases-all

solution to

W          O          R          L          D

or

p e r s o n a l

H            A            P            P            I            N            E            S            S

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.       .        .

the answer might not

uhhhh make yoiu

h          a          p          p          y.             .             .

Maybe it’s just being overemphasized;

Did you know that

H A P P I N E S S

has it’s own it’s own

h     o     l     i     d     a     y ?

Just a few years ago

The General Assembly of the United Nations

proclaimed MARCH 20

to the be the

International Day of Happiness.       .       .

Oops.          .          .

I missed it;

I didn’t celebrate.          .          .

But it is easy to see why

H A P P I N E S S

is worth celebrating:

Happy people are healthier;

they get sick less often

THEY     LIVE     L O N G E R

Happy people have better realtionships

more friends

make more money

are more productive at work.     .     .

Based on decades of research

it’s become very clear

that Happiness is not just a personal issue;

it’s a matter of public health,

global economics

and natural well being

B           U          T

it’s subjective, isn’t it?

THE   GREATER   GOOD   SCIENCE   CENTER

(Yes, it really does exist–Google it)

They simply recommend through

S   C   I   E   N   T   I   F   I   C        S   T   U   D   Y

ACKNOWLEDGE    THE    GOOD

(WRITE DOWN 3 THINGS A DAY YOU ARE GRATEFUL )

ADD    HAPPINESS   THROUGH   SUBTRACTION 

(GIVE IT UP PRACTICE–GIVE UP WHAT YOU REALLY LIKE JUST FOR A LITTLE BIT OF TIME SO YOU CAN APPRECIATE IT EVEN ALL THE MORE)

FIND MEANING AND PURPOSE

(TAKE PICTURES OF PEOPLE AND THINGS THAT ARE MEANINGFUL TO YOU AND LITERALLY JOURNAL FOR 15 MINUTES A DAY JUST ABOUT YOUR IDEAL FUTURE AND WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE)

USE   YOUR   STRENGTH

(PICK ONE OF YOUR STRENGTHS AND USE IT EXCLUSIVELY IN A NEW AND DIFFERENT WAY FOR A WEEK AND THEN ANOTHER AND THEN ANOTHER. . . )

CONNECT     WITH     OTHERS

(JUST DO FIVE RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS A DAY–NOT OVER A WEEK, BUT A DAY FOR A WEEK; STUDIES SHOUT THAT WHEN YOU DO–GIVE–IT SIGNIFICANTLY MAKES YOU HAPPIER)

WHAT      REALLY     MAKES     YOU     HAPPY ?

It’s different for everyone

T       H       A       N       K       F       U       L       L       Y  

QUICK  ANSWER:

WHATEVER   FEEDS   YOUR   SOUL

but you’ve got to

ACTUALLY  FEED  YOUR  SOUL

it won’t happen

through osmosis 

IF HAPPINESS IS A TRAIN

YOU DON’T HAVE TO RIDE THE CABOOSE

OR JUST BE A PASSENGER

WATING TO GO TO THE DINING CAR

ENGINEER THAT TRAIN

AND TOOT-TOOT YOURSELF DOWN THE TRACK 

NOT TO HAPPINESS

BUT TO YOUR

S E V E N T H     H E A V E N 

SEE YOU AT THE STATION!

CHOOO-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

When Generosity is More than a W O R D

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Do you have one?

Do you remember a time when you actually saw an

A C T    O F    G E N E R O S I T Y ?

Erin, my wife, gave this Parka from Alaska via a Thrift store, right off her back on a cold winter day when she saw someone she recognized, who rode his bike everyday from his house to a local coffee shop, now in a cold snow storm, without a coat.

A friend, Terry, did the same thing a few years ago. A group of us from Church made sandwiches, bought gloves to literally pass out to the homeless on a cold, Sunday afternoon. We literally had given everything we came downtown to give and there was one, cold gentleman who got there late and asked if there was anything left; the sandwiches, gloves, hats had all been distributed, but Terry literally took off her coat and sweatshirt and gave it to the man.

I just heard about a guy on an airplane who actually tipped the Flight Attendant a $100.00 for the amazing job she did serving during the flight.

He was standing at a Stop Light in front of a Strip Mall with a Panera Bread.  As I came up to the light he was standing there just holding a sign.     .     .no bucket or anything to collect money.  He wasn’t aggressive.     .     .just standing there holding a sign I’ve never seen anyone  E V E R  hold before:

S    E    E    K    I    N    G           H   U   M   A   N          K    I    N    D    N    E    S    S

I rolled down the window and for the first time in my life,

gave a   $10     d o l l a r      b i l l 

and the meal we had just bought.        .        .

I never knew that such an offering could buy such an expression on someone’s face;

Do you have one?

Do you remember a time when you actually saw an

A  C  T      O  F      G  E  N  E  R  O  S  I  T  Y ?

There is no way to ever measure,

is there,

the exact effect it had on the

O            N            E
who actually received such an act of generosity–

F  O  R  G  E  T        T  H  A  T

Having witnessed an Act of Generosity…

WHAT EFFECT DID IT HAVE ON YOU?

Has it worn off?

Did it inspire you to

GO   AND   DO  LIKEWISE ?

G e n e r o u s      A C T S

will do that…

so do the TELLING
so do the HEARING

of such acts. . . .

DO    TELL

S H A R E

so that WE will not only get the benefit.         .         .

but be inspired to make our own

Stories   of   Generosity

to be witnessed
to tell
to be told
to experience
to inspire yet even more
to tell
to be told
to experience
to inspire
to make

G   E   N   E   R   O   S   I   T   Y

more than just a mere

WORD.      .      .

DO   TELL

S H A R E

What’s

Y  O  U  R       S  T  O  R  Y ?

A Better Place

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Are you in a

B E T T E R       P L A C E

because of

S        O        M        E        O        N        E 

literally

created it

and put

you

in the

heart of

T       H       A       T

v   e   r   y

B  E  T  T  E  R      P L A C E

Maybe the biggest question:

Are you the

s              o              l              e

r e a s o n

S         O         M         E         O         N         E

is

in

a

b  e  t  t  e  r       p  l  a  c  e ?

I’ll tell the world, I’ll sing a song,

It’s a better place since you came along    

Your touch is sunlight

through the trees

Your kisses are the ocean breeze

Everything’s alright when you’re with me

And I hold my favorite thing

I hold the love that you bring

But it feels like I’ve opened my eyes again

And the colors are golden and bright again

There’s a song in my heart, I feel like I belong

It’s a better place since you came along

I see the whole world in your eyes

It’s like I’ve known you all my life

We just feel so right

So I pour my heart into your hands

It’s like you really understand

You love the way I am.     .     .

Maybe if we were to sit across from

e     a     c     h ‘ s

o          t          h          e          r    

and do nothing

n  o  t     o  n  e     t  h  i  n  g

but just look

into one another’s

e   y   e   s

we’d not just see

those we love

d i f f e r e n t l y.            .            .

I               M               A               G               I               N               E

if we were to sit

across from those

who have

hurt us

disappointed us

mocked us

disrespected us

intentionally went out of their ways

to feel each of those things

in utterly devastating ways

countless times

o                     v                     e                     r

would it be the same kind of

lyric

or even more

l         i         f         e

c          h          a          n          g          i          n          g   ?

Dare   to   find   out.          .          .

u        n        b        l        i        n        k        i        n        g        l        y ?

Your Compassion Fingerprint

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WHAT’S      IN      IT      FOR      ME ? 

It’s a question asked by many.       .      .

by me.         .         .

by you.         .         .

b  y         u  s.

It’s really asked when it comes to

being   kind,

being   compassionate, 

not   o  n  c  e,

but time and again and again,

over and over.

HOW  MANY  TIMES  IS  ENOUGH?

WHEN’S  IT  OUR  TURN?

WHY  NOT  US?

All good questions,

but can we just take a deep breath,

no.           .           .

go ahead and take three deep breaths in a row,

holding each one for about five seconds

and then letting them all the way out real slowly.         .        .

P           A           U           S           E

And reframe the Questions

to just one single

o      n      e:

W h y     P r a c t i c e     C o m p a s s i o n ?

The scientific research is really starting to pile up

and it all dramatically points to what you might have felt

but now can fully experience.

The benefits of being

C      o      m      p      a      s      s      i      o      n      a      t      e,

literally,

can improve your health,

well-being,

and relationships,

both your intimate,

close ones as well the fringe friendships.       .       .

Many scientists are even telling us that Compassion may even be vital to the survival of our species and through actual dedicated, intentional practice, these benefits can literally be

off      the      charts !

The Compassion Research is telling us:

  • Compassion makes us feel good: a compassionate act activates pleasure circuits in the brain.
  • Being Compassionate–tuning in to other people in a kind and loving ways can actually reduce the risk of heart disease by boosting the positive effects of the Vargus Nerve, which helps to slow our heart rate.
  • Brain scans during loving-kindness meditation, which directs compassion toward suffering, suggest that, on average, compassionate people’s minds wander less about what’s gone wrong in their lives or what might go wrong in the future, making them happier.
  • Brain scans also show that when people experience compassion, their brains activate in neural systems to support parental nurturance–they become better parents.
  • Compassion helps make people better spouses; they’re more optimistic and supportive when communicating with others.
  • Compassion helps make better friends.
  • Employees who receive more compassion in their workplace see themselves, their co-workers, and their organization in a more positive light, report feeling more positive emotions like joy and contentment, and are more committed to their jobs.
  • Compassionate people are more socially adept, making them less vulnerable to loneliness; loneliness has been shown to cause stress and hare the immune system.

So.        .        .

WHAT’S   IN  IT  FOR  ME?

Hmmmmmmmmmm.      .      .

it seems,

not   one   thing.      .      .

It’s    m a n y    things!

Pssssssssssssssssst:

 N  E  V  E  R      T  R  U  S  T      T  H  E      S  C  I  E  N  C  E !

Use yourself as your own private lab experiment.         .         .

Test it for yourself.

What have you got to lose?

Ummmmmmmmmmm:

Just  being

 L    E    S    S         C    O    M    P    A    S    S    I    O    N    A    T    E  !  

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man