M U S I C
sometimes says what needs to be felt
that can’t be experienced in any other way
. . .just like this song,
RISE UP
by Audra Day
One of the truest of truths is a lesson that this beautiful season teaches us:
WE ALL FALL DOWN
But we also know
that each of us hold’s a
L I G H T
but it’s severely questionable
of what we’re doing with it. . .
Maybe when we realize
(maybe, really for the first real time)
that your pain
is my pain
and my pain
is your pain
we can literally lift
each’s other
and
R I S E
UP
(but will you?)
R E S O U R C E S
OH HOW WE ARE REACHING OUT THESE DAYS. . .
Reaching out to know
Reaching out to understand
Reaching out to receive
Reaching out to give
R E A C H I N G
And so this is one Caring Catalyst reaching out to other Caring Catalysts who are reaching to others just trying to make sense of everything that’s happened a little over this past week in Israel; with the big question:
WHO DO YOU TRUST
with the information you’re getting or dare, sharing. . . ?
I’ve always trusted the reputable sources of Greater Good Resources
and so directly from them
to me
I’m sharing the following
as I continue to send warm, healing thoughts to all
who read
who share
who join me in bringing
P E A C E
even if but one person at a time
Here are some gathered articles that explore the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; offer resources for well-being and activism; and remind us of human goodness by the Greater Good Editors:
Here at the Greater Good Science Center, the war between Israel and Hamas is provoking a range of emotions: sadness, anger, fear, and more. We’re reading the news every day and wishing that there were more we could do to help.
As an educational nonprofit, the best we can do, perhaps, is to remind ourselves and our readers that peace is always possible, the vast majority of people resist killing, even the most violent primates are capable of change, there are steps we can all take to bridge our differences, and activism can make the world a better place. We’ve gathered articles below to help you understand the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; get involved in activism; and support your well-being and your children’s—including reminders of human goodness in times of conflict.
If you’d like to find a more direct way to support the people of Israel and Gaza, here is an excellent list of organizations addressing the human crises that war creates. We hope you’ll consider making a donation to one of them.
Click to jump to a section:
Promoting peace and reconciliation
Reminders of human goodness
Political apology and forgiveness
Resources for well-being and activism
Resources for children’s well-being
Promoting peace and reconciliation
- What Can We Learn From the World’s Most Peaceful Societies?: A multidisciplinary team of researchers is discovering what makes some societies more peaceful than others.
- In a Divided World, We Need to Choose Empathy: It’s gotten harder to empathize; that’s why it’s so important we work at it. Luckily, we can.
- Eight Keys to Bridging Our Differences: There are many misconceptions about bridging differences, so we consulted with researchers and practitioners to clarify what it is—and what it isn’t.
- How War Shapes Our Attitudes About Violence: New studies are discovering that exposure to war can make violence more acceptable among civilians—but there might be ways to break the cycle.
- How to Resist Manipulation by Embracing All Your Identities: Learning to celebrate complex identities in ourselves and others could help make the world a better place.
- How Can We Make Politics Less Hostile?: A new study finds that when we practice intellectual humility, we have less animosity toward the “other side” of political debates.
- Can Contact Reduce Prejudice Even When You’re in Conflict?: A new study suggests that even when discrimination and fear of “the other” is rampant, contact between diverse groups can still reduce prejudice.
- How the Growth Mindset Can Increase Cooperation: In a new study, researchers saw Jewish- and Palestinian-Israeli students cooperating better after a simple lesson.
- What Makes a Good Interaction Between Divided Groups?: Intergroup contact can help bridge divides, under certain conditions.
- To Resolve Conflicts, Get Up and Move: Researcher Peter T. Coleman has found an unlikely path to peace: Move your body to help your mind get unstuck.
Reminders of human goodness
- Hope on the Battlefield: Military leaders know a secret: The vast majority of people are overwhelmingly reluctant to take a human life.
- In Search of the Moral Voice: What makes some people display altruism and compassion in the midst of war? Two researchers are trying to find out.
- Courage Under Fire: When the Bosnian civil war broke out, Svetlana Broz searched for the humanity behind the horrific headlines. She found stories of people who risked their lives to help victims of the war—and who inspired others to follow their example.
- Worlds Without War: Ethnographic studies find that not all societies make war. In other words, war is not intrinsic to humankind.
- Beyond Sex and Violence: Contrary to the typical view, violence is something humans resort to out of fear—or try to avoid altogether.
- Peace Among Primates: Anyone who says peace is not part of human nature knows too little about primates, including ourselves.
- Why Is There Peace?: Violence is declining, argues psychologist Steven Pinker. What are we doing right?
Political apology and forgiveness
- The Forgiveness Instinct: To understand the human potential for peace, we have to learn three simple truths about forgiveness and revenge.
- How Should a Group Apologize to People They Harmed?: A new study investigates which components of an apology foster forgiveness and reconciliation between groups.
- The Greatest Test: Forgiveness improves health and strengthens relationships. But can it help heal the scars of civil war?
- Making Peace Through Apology: Some apologies encourage forgiveness and reconciliation between groups and nations; others only make things worse. Here’s how to tell the difference.
- What Makes a Political Apology Seem Sincere?: When is a political apology likely to be well-received? A new study explores the contributing factors.
- Six Ways to Deal With Someone Who Wronged You: Here’s what we have learned from 25 years of research about forgiveness—and its alternatives.
Resources for well-being and activism
- Six Tips to Avoid Being Overwhelmed by the News: Here’s how to cope when all the negative news is triggering you.
- Is Love Better Than Anger for Social Change?: We can learn from the fly fishing industry, which shifted toward conservation thanks to decades of messaging about caring for nature.
- Need a Hero? Look Around You: We love to exalt heroic individuals. But in this historical moment, collective heroism is best suited to the challenges we face.
- How to Sustain Your Activism: These three principles can help activists avoid burnout and continue working toward a better world.
- One Way to Improve Teen Mental Health: Activism: A new study finds that teens involved in youth programs develop more critical reflection and take more action to fight injustice and inequality.
- How to Renew Your Compassion in the Face of Suffering: Mass suffering can make us feel helpless. Focusing on solutions, rather than emotions, may be the way out.
- How to Deepen Our Compassion for Refugees: When we face large numbers of people in need, we almost instinctively pull back. By questioning this reaction, we can make space for a more empathic response.
Resources for children’s well-being
- Nine Tips for Talking to Kids about Trauma: In the midst of tragedy, kids will have questions. How do we respond?
- How to Talk With Kids About Scary News: Researcher Abigail Gewirtz explains how parents can have conversations with kids about global conflict and humanitarian crises.
- Five Ways to Support Students Affected by Trauma: Teachers can help students recognize their strengths and build resilience.
- Can Parents Teach Peace?: A recent study suggests they can, at least some of the time.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .
Just how good can a candle be if it has no
R E F L E C A B I L I T Y
We are not called to obliterate the World’s darkness. . .
just to glow where we are
and share our flicker
to yet another willing wick. . .
I hope this Helps
THE HELPERS
AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO
What would you do?
o r
is it
WHAT DO YOU DO. . . ?
It’s the First Lecture of a brand new semester. . .
The professor enters the lecture hall. He looks around. . .
“You there in the 8th row. Can you tell me your name?” he asks a student.
“My name is Sandra” says a voice.
The professor asks her, “Please leave my lecture hall. I don’t want to see you in my lecture.”
Everyone is quiet. The student is irritated, slowly packs her things and stands up.
“Faster please” she is asked.
She doesn’t dare to say anything and leaves the lecture hall.
The professor keeps looking around.
The participants are scared.
“Why are there laws?” he asks the group.
All quiet. Everyone looks at the others.
“What are laws for?” he asks again.
“Social order” is heard from a row
A student says “To protect a person’s personal rights.”
Another says “So that you can rely on the state.”
The professor is not satisfied.
“Justice” calls out a student.
The professor smiling. She has his attention.
“Thank you very much. Did I behave unfairly towards your classmate earlier?”
Everyone nods.
“Indeed I did. Why didn’t anyone protest?
Why didn’t any of you try to stop me?
Why didn’t you want to prevent this injustice?” he asks.
Nobody answers. . .
THE SILENCE LITERALLY SHOUTS OUT A BLARING
W H Y ?
“What you just learned you wouldn’t have understood in 1,000 hours of lectures if you hadn’t lived it. You didn’t say anything just because you weren’t affected yourself. This attitude speaks against you and against life. You think as long as it doesn’t concern you, it’s none of your business. I’m telling you, if you don’t say anything today and don’t bring about justice, then one day you too will experience injustice and no one will stand before you. Justice lives through us all. We have to fight for it.”
“In life and at work, we often live next to each other instead of with each other. We console ourselves that the problems of others are none of our business. We go home and are glad that we were spared. But it’s also about standing up for others. Every day an injustice happens in business, in sports or on the tram. Relying on someone to sort it out is not enough. It is our duty to be there for others. Speaking for others when they cannot. . .
The difference is being a caring catalyst and
ACTING LIKE A CARING CATALYST
. . .which ONE are you
We’re all way past asking what would you do. . .
we are right here, right now, showing
WHAT DO YOU DO
(or. . .d o n ‘ t)
The Power of TEARS
Sometimes it’s not the
OCEAN’S WAVE
but the think stream of an ongoing
T E A R
running down your face
that’s the saltiest. . .
DOES IT MAKE IT ANY LESS
S A L T I E R
IF IT HAS A MEANING. . . ?
How Tears Help Us Overcome Barriers to Empathy
A new study reveals how tears shed by members of socially disadvantaged groups can elicit empathy and support. . .
Recent data from the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees shows that the number of refugees seeking asylum has more than doubled in the past 10 years, with an estimated 84 million people displaced from their homes. Many of these refugees have immigrated to new countries where they may struggle to assimilate and learn the language. In some places, refugees and immigrants become the target of hate crimes: In the United States, for example, crimes targeting people of Asian descent jumped 339% in 2021.
How can we improve empathy and increase kindness toward newcomers? That’s the question tackled by a new study published in the journal Emotion. Magdalena Bobowik and her colleagues investigated a particularly overlooked aspect of behavior toward underprivileged groups: the role that tears play in evoking empathic responses.
The study took place in Spain, where Romanians and Moroccans are dominant immigrant groups. Participants (all native-born Spanish undergraduates) were split into three groups, each of which was shown a Romanian man displaying either neutral, sad, or tearful expressions. The results revealed that participants seeing the tearful expression reported more warmth toward the man, but not more discomfort.
In a similar fashion, researchers then asked participants to rate the face of a Moroccan man—but this time with a fourth expression, where the man was displaying happiness by smiling. In this experiment, researchers found that people were more likely to want to approach the man when he was smiling, and when he was shedding tears. However, they rated the man as less competent when he was sad.
A final experiment involved Syrian refugees. They showed participants a man who was introduced as being from either the same Spanish province as the participant, or as an immigrant who had just moved to the country from Syria. This man displayed either a neutral, sad, or tearful expression, like before.
The results? Whether the man was Spanish or Syrian, participants reported increased feelings of warmth toward him when he was crying. Participants were also more willing to approach and donate money when the Syrian man was crying, compared to when he simply looked sad.
Thus, the study suggests that tears from a member of an underprivileged group are able to heavily influence the emotional response of those who may not normally be so sensitive to socially disadvantaged groups in their country. This may be explained by the way in which “emotional tears shift the perception of a person from being a member of another social group to being included in one’s group category (possibly at a higher level of abstraction, as ‘a human’),” as the authors speculate in the paper.
These findings are in line with other studies that show how exposure to a tearful face increases people’s willingness to share resources. This may be due to the fact that tearful faces are rated as more trustworthy than neutral faces with no tears.
It may also be significant that the researchers asked the participants to see one man, not many. “We have an easier time feeling empathy for one person than for large groups of people,” says Diana Concannon, a psychologist and crisis response expert, in a recent interview. This is likely a result of our brains being unable to comprehend numbers above a certain threshold—so, for instance, the difference between 1.1 million and 1.2 million becomes increasingly difficult for us to visualize. Increased exposure to negative events can also contribute to feelings of desensitization.
This is what makes the findings of the study on tears so valuable: because it recognizes that we still retain the power to empathize with those who may be different from us, and that perhaps this effect is strengthened when we focus on one individual at a time.
It seems like the World has given THE WORLD lots of reasons to cry lately, doesn’t it?
WHICH MEANS
IT HAS GIVEN US LOTS OF REASONS TO NOT JUST NOTICE
BUT ACTUALLY FEEL EMPAHTY
AND TO ACT
or. . .
IS THE EVIDENCE BASED DATA
w r o n g
YOU MAY BE THE PROOF
(either way)
THE FUNERAL
No matter what religion or spiritual path you follow (or don’t), there’s one topic that fascinates us all:What happens after we die?
Reincarnation? Eternal Heaven? Total blackness and non-existence? Something totally different?
No matter what we believe though, there’s a few basic facts about death that we all know to be true.
The first fact of death is the obvious:
We’ve all been born with a sexually transmitted disease
called: LIFE
and none of us gets out of here
A L I V E
YES. . . we are all going to die. Yes, every single person on this planet is going to die someday, somehow, somewhere.
The second fact is less obvious:
After we die, our lives will be etched in the hearts of others. We live eternally. Forever. In other people.
That’s what today’s video is really about.
It’s about the relationships we forge during our lives that are so powerful they impact people even after we die.
Today’s movie is called “The Funeral.” It starts with a little bit of humor, and it quickly goes deep and gets to the heart of the matter. . .a heart that beats like no other when filled with a love that death can’t begin to part let alone forget. . .
SO HERE’S THE DEAL:
THE DEEPER YOU LOVE
THE DARKER YOU HURT
so. . .
LOVE DEEPER, STILL
LOVE DEEPER, MORE
L O V E
DON’T LOVE
There really is a guarantee. . .
It’s a lockdown
full proof
100% sealed shut case:
You will never hurt
You will never shed a tear
You will never have a sense of loss
You will never have a moment of sadness
And to get this full proof guarantee
it’s not what you have to do
it’s what you don’t have to do
and it really is this simple:
DON’T LOVE
Don’t commit
Don’t become vulnerable enough to share your innermost self
Don’t share ever with any expectation of any reward or gift in return
Don’t be available accessible and accountable. . .
And the guarantee is yours
you will not hurt
you will not grieve
you will not experience a sense of loss
you’ll never have saltiest of tears
All of this
and probably a lot more
just because you
DON’T LOVE
Deal?
Wanna shake on it?
Get an ironclad triple your moneyback guarantee
Just
DON’T LOVE
And you too
ladies and gentlemen
can have an
UNBREAKABLE HEART
It may not beat the same
but it won’t be broken,
either. . .
E V E R Y W H E R E
I love this poem by Warsan. . .
I’ve never heard of her before
let alone
R E A D H E R,
but it brings up a universal sad truth
in just one word:
E V E R Y W H E R E
Right now
at this very moment
think of the one person
in your life
who’s home has never known
loss
hurt
disappointment
grief
devastation
unmet expectation
d e f e a t. . .
Wait. . .
WHAT?
Is it
Y O U R ‘ S. . . ?
Behind every door is a pain so deep
it can’t be spoken. . .
Know that;
Know that you know That;
Bet Your Life That You Know THAT
but most of all
FOR THE LIFE OF YOU
A C T A S I F Y O U K N O W T H A T
The World is a raw
Opened Wound
That’s not so much seeking a Cure
b u t
H E A L I N G
. . .and we are carriers of it. . .
But more than Carriers
WE
desperately need to be
D E L I V E R E R S
E V E R Y W H E R E
A Call To ARMS
Another Horrific Tragedy:
We are all still stunned
As WE seek for
UNDERSTANDING
REASONS
THEORIES
SAFETY
HOPE
HEALING
L O V E
Non-Violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the lightest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man–Mahatma Ghandi
T R U E L Y
are we past T H I S ?
Aside from totally being stunned by the sheer madness;
the utter devastation of at least 5 9 innocent people being massacred. . .
theres’s a Call to Arms. . .
And if there’s ONE TIME
that’s absolutely true. . .
IT IS NOW
after recent hurricanes and earthquakes
and now, THIS:
I T I S N O W
. . .But,
A C A L L T O A R M S ?
A B S O L U T E L Y
but not by buying more guns
or even absurdly thinking to rid the world of them. . .
but by using what is so readily available to each of us:
O U R A R M S
. . .But, H O W
Literally HUGGING everyone you know
and those you don’t. . .
RESPECT EVERYONE–INCLUDING YOURSELF
No one can degrade you without your permission and it is WITHIN YOU to uplift ANYONE, the richest, the poorest, the most kind or the most evil around us. . .
ALWAYS INCLUDE CONSTRUCTIVE ALTERNATIVES
Fancy way to say:
B E T H E D I F F E R E N C E
Thousands of studies have shown that working together is the most effective way to unite people–this is being an ultimate CARING CATALYST; It builds community and reassures the general public that YOUR MOVEMENT is not a danger to any social order but a pure restoration of IT
BE AWARE OF THE LONG TERM
Yes. . .VIOLENCE is effective, maybe way too much effective but in the long run it leads to more misery and DISorder; In non-violence, we can lose battles but still go on to win the war
LOOK FOR WIN-WIN SOLUTIONS
Whenever I can be a part of another’s success; I AM SUCCESSFUL; When I row you across the roughest and most troubled of waters, I get to the other side, too!
U S E P O W E R C A R E F U L L Y
PROVE that the greatest power is never at the end of a gun barrel but at the end of your hand. . .it’s true, that when you reach out you may get hurt, shunned, mocked, but you also run the high risk of not just healing, affirming, comforting but actually REACHING what needs reached most: A N O T H E R
TRUE OR FALSE:
Is all LIFE is interconnected; Your PAIN is my PAIN; YOUR HAPPINESS is MY HAPPINESS. . .
I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. And you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. Martin Luther King, Jr.
When it comes to not just bearing arms,
but actually using the two most powerful ways possible:
O U R A R M S
to effect the most drastic means of healing change
there’s but one answer:
Without a doubt
Violence is a bon-fire of hurt that burns many,
Love is that small flicker that makes it impossible
for us to forget the
F L A M E
We hear. . .
We witness what happens
most recently in Las Vegas
and while we’re so tempted to
r e m e m b e r
the senselessness of it
we need more to be
m i n d f u l
of how our own personal
C A L L T O A R M S
is a Caring Catalyst way
that will bring the most
long lasting solution. . .
Our Constitution
is not going to be amended to repeal our right to bear arms
H I S T O R Y
i n s t r u c t s
evil will remain. . .
u l t u m a t e l y
G U N S and L O V E
can never be legislated. . .
but of the two—
only one has a everlasting effect. . .
B E
T H E G L O W O F T H A T W A R M E M B E R
which is always inextinguishable
L I G H T T H E W A Y
PUNCTUATED
Hurt people hurt people. . .
especially themselves
I don’t keep those statistics. . .
over thirty-six years I don’t know how many Celebrations of Life I’ve conducted of those who have committed suicide. . .
Personally, I find only still-born or infant/children Celebrations of Life more difficult to do and
. . .to understand.
He literally kept his truck running as he pulled into a parking lot near a bridge and ran to it, full force, until reaching the middle and then without hesitation he hurled himself over the edge to the 200 foot plunge to a ravine below.
W H Y ?
She had just had a long, but painful relationship come to an end. She ran herself a bath, lined the tub with candles and framed pictures of them–dances, weddings, New Year’s Eve parties, vacations, the recently passed Christmas, kissing under a sprig of Mistletoe they both held above their heads. A CD they had compiled was playing as she laid back in the warm water and slit her wrists and ankles.
W H Y ?
She received a diagnosis of not just cancer, but cancer that has in fact, metastasized but decided not to let the disease take her life when she could control, the how, the when and the where. . .and did with some meds that she stockpiled and went to bed, to sleep forever one snowy night.
W H Y ?
Straw is lighter than a whisper without a breeze
. . .unless it’s the last one. . .
the one that makes whatever load born now incredibly
u n b e a r a b l e
Such a piece of hay was his
as he faced yet one more strand of straw with the news of possible incarceration
and he walked in front of an oncoming train.
W H Y ?
The studies will tell you that 90% of the people are dealing with a mental illness at the time of their death.
In the end,
because there is the end,
it really doesn’t matter if it’s because of depression or psychosis,
or an impulse,
or a crying out for help,
or a philosophical desire to die or because of terrible mistake made. . .
there’s an end;
I’ve just recently come across an idea I’d never heard or seen before
that spoke to me not so much in words, but
p u n c t u a t i o n. . .
It’s called:
THE PUNCTUATION PROJECT
and it’s purpose is the use the semicolon when a sentence could have ended
. . .but didn’t;
The movement is for anyone who has ever self-harmed
has a personality disorder
or has tried to kill themselves.
The semicolon is being used as a sign,
a symbol of hope.
It’s s h o u t i n g out:
“YOUR SENTENCE IS NOT OVER YET!”
The movement seems to be catching on because,
obviously it’s not just a Robin Williams-like celebrity that commits suicide;
Many are getting it ‘inked’ on their wrists or other parts of their bodies.
;
I think it’s growing on me. . .
this semicolon symbol. . .
and if it just allows one. . .
j u s t o n e
person to keep their sentence moving,
well then. . .
Mother Theresa once said:
“THERE IS MORE HUNGER IN THE WORLD FOR LOVE AND APPRECIATION THAN FOR BREAD.”
Indeed. . .
the World is one hungry place. . .
but you have all the food necessary to feed one
or all carrying that one, single,
devastating piece of straw.
It just may be a phone call,
whether one made to you or the one you share at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
or share: suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
There is no greater sentence in anyone’s book more powerful than the one that’s lived;
punctuated with exclamation points of
love,
acceptance,
compassion
and understanding—
all within your DNA.
H e a l e d p e o p l e h e a l e d p e o p l e
A Better Place
Are you in a
B E T T E R P L A C E
because of
S O M E O N E
literally
created it
and put
you
in the
heart of
T H A T
v e r y
B E T T E R P L A C E
Maybe the biggest question:
Are you the
s o l e
r e a s o n
S O M E O N E
is
in
a
b e t t e r p l a c e ?
I’ll tell the world, I’ll sing a song,
It’s a better place since you came along
Your touch is sunlight
through the trees
Your kisses are the ocean breeze
Everything’s alright when you’re with me
And I hold my favorite thing
I hold the love that you bring
But it feels like I’ve opened my eyes again
And the colors are golden and bright again
There’s a song in my heart, I feel like I belong
It’s a better place since you came along
I see the whole world in your eyes
It’s like I’ve known you all my life
We just feel so right
So I pour my heart into your hands
It’s like you really understand
You love the way I am. . .
Maybe if we were to sit across from
e a c h ‘ s
o t h e r
and do nothing
n o t o n e t h i n g
but just look
into one another’s
e y e s
we’d not just see
those we love
d i f f e r e n t l y. . .
I M A G I N E
if we were to sit
across from those
who have
hurt us
disappointed us
mocked us
disrespected us
intentionally went out of their ways
to feel each of those things
in utterly devastating ways
countless times
o v e r
would it be the same kind of
lyric
or even more
l i f e
c h a n g i n g ?
Dare to find out. . .
u n b l i n k i n g l y ?