M U S I C
sometimes says what needs to be felt
that can’t be experienced in any other way
. . .just like this song,
RISE UP
by Audra Day
One of the truest of truths is a lesson that this beautiful season teaches us:
WE ALL FALL DOWN
But we also know
that each of us hold’s a
L I G H T
but it’s severely questionable
of what we’re doing with it. . .
Maybe when we realize
(maybe, really for the first real time)
that your pain
is my pain
and my pain
is your pain
we can literally lift
each’s other
and
R I S E
UP
(but will you?)
H I N E N I
It’s been a whirlwind all over the world in these past two weeks and it has the feel of not ending any time soon, and worse, ending well. . .
I’ve heard a lot of words over this time and I’ve said a lot of words and there’s one word that came to me when I was looking to hear it or say it but now feel the need to share it:
H I N E N I
It’s a Hebrew word that means:
HERE I AM
But here’s the thing about words, or in this case
A WORD. . .
They don’t mean anything
Said or Heard
until they are experienced
until they are Living Verbs. . .
I’ve had to ask of myself:
JUST HOW AM I SHOWING UP
(and how often?)
I’m wondering (and now hoping you’ll be a little wondering, too) how am I saying, being HINENI to my family, my friends, my town, my state, my country, my world? How am I saying HINENI in a way that shows others how much they matter and that I am here? How am I answering THIS call?
It feels like we have lots of questions a few answers or is it really just this simple:
Why is the seemingly simple so complicated if not for my lack of
HINENI
Now
is so much more than saying a Word
or even hearing one
Looking at an inspiring picture
Gawking at a-should-never-be-seen-horrific-scene
We are way past AGREEING with this one
and DISAGREEING with that one
N O W
in our own individual way
with our own individual skills
It’s time to be an authentic, living
H I N E N I
and to be it profoundly
to Each’s
O T H E R
R E S O U R C E S
OH HOW WE ARE REACHING OUT THESE DAYS. . .
Reaching out to know
Reaching out to understand
Reaching out to receive
Reaching out to give
R E A C H I N G
And so this is one Caring Catalyst reaching out to other Caring Catalysts who are reaching to others just trying to make sense of everything that’s happened a little over this past week in Israel; with the big question:
WHO DO YOU TRUST
with the information you’re getting or dare, sharing. . . ?
I’ve always trusted the reputable sources of Greater Good Resources
and so directly from them
to me
I’m sharing the following
as I continue to send warm, healing thoughts to all
who read
who share
who join me in bringing
P E A C E
even if but one person at a time
Here are some gathered articles that explore the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; offer resources for well-being and activism; and remind us of human goodness by the Greater Good Editors:
Here at the Greater Good Science Center, the war between Israel and Hamas is provoking a range of emotions: sadness, anger, fear, and more. We’re reading the news every day and wishing that there were more we could do to help.
As an educational nonprofit, the best we can do, perhaps, is to remind ourselves and our readers that peace is always possible, the vast majority of people resist killing, even the most violent primates are capable of change, there are steps we can all take to bridge our differences, and activism can make the world a better place. We’ve gathered articles below to help you understand the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; get involved in activism; and support your well-being and your children’s—including reminders of human goodness in times of conflict.
If you’d like to find a more direct way to support the people of Israel and Gaza, here is an excellent list of organizations addressing the human crises that war creates. We hope you’ll consider making a donation to one of them.
Click to jump to a section:
Promoting peace and reconciliation
Reminders of human goodness
Political apology and forgiveness
Resources for well-being and activism
Resources for children’s well-being
Promoting peace and reconciliation
- What Can We Learn From the World’s Most Peaceful Societies?: A multidisciplinary team of researchers is discovering what makes some societies more peaceful than others.
- In a Divided World, We Need to Choose Empathy: It’s gotten harder to empathize; that’s why it’s so important we work at it. Luckily, we can.
- Eight Keys to Bridging Our Differences: There are many misconceptions about bridging differences, so we consulted with researchers and practitioners to clarify what it is—and what it isn’t.
- How War Shapes Our Attitudes About Violence: New studies are discovering that exposure to war can make violence more acceptable among civilians—but there might be ways to break the cycle.
- How to Resist Manipulation by Embracing All Your Identities: Learning to celebrate complex identities in ourselves and others could help make the world a better place.
- How Can We Make Politics Less Hostile?: A new study finds that when we practice intellectual humility, we have less animosity toward the “other side” of political debates.
- Can Contact Reduce Prejudice Even When You’re in Conflict?: A new study suggests that even when discrimination and fear of “the other” is rampant, contact between diverse groups can still reduce prejudice.
- How the Growth Mindset Can Increase Cooperation: In a new study, researchers saw Jewish- and Palestinian-Israeli students cooperating better after a simple lesson.
- What Makes a Good Interaction Between Divided Groups?: Intergroup contact can help bridge divides, under certain conditions.
- To Resolve Conflicts, Get Up and Move: Researcher Peter T. Coleman has found an unlikely path to peace: Move your body to help your mind get unstuck.
Reminders of human goodness
- Hope on the Battlefield: Military leaders know a secret: The vast majority of people are overwhelmingly reluctant to take a human life.
- In Search of the Moral Voice: What makes some people display altruism and compassion in the midst of war? Two researchers are trying to find out.
- Courage Under Fire: When the Bosnian civil war broke out, Svetlana Broz searched for the humanity behind the horrific headlines. She found stories of people who risked their lives to help victims of the war—and who inspired others to follow their example.
- Worlds Without War: Ethnographic studies find that not all societies make war. In other words, war is not intrinsic to humankind.
- Beyond Sex and Violence: Contrary to the typical view, violence is something humans resort to out of fear—or try to avoid altogether.
- Peace Among Primates: Anyone who says peace is not part of human nature knows too little about primates, including ourselves.
- Why Is There Peace?: Violence is declining, argues psychologist Steven Pinker. What are we doing right?
Political apology and forgiveness
- The Forgiveness Instinct: To understand the human potential for peace, we have to learn three simple truths about forgiveness and revenge.
- How Should a Group Apologize to People They Harmed?: A new study investigates which components of an apology foster forgiveness and reconciliation between groups.
- The Greatest Test: Forgiveness improves health and strengthens relationships. But can it help heal the scars of civil war?
- Making Peace Through Apology: Some apologies encourage forgiveness and reconciliation between groups and nations; others only make things worse. Here’s how to tell the difference.
- What Makes a Political Apology Seem Sincere?: When is a political apology likely to be well-received? A new study explores the contributing factors.
- Six Ways to Deal With Someone Who Wronged You: Here’s what we have learned from 25 years of research about forgiveness—and its alternatives.
Resources for well-being and activism
- Six Tips to Avoid Being Overwhelmed by the News: Here’s how to cope when all the negative news is triggering you.
- Is Love Better Than Anger for Social Change?: We can learn from the fly fishing industry, which shifted toward conservation thanks to decades of messaging about caring for nature.
- Need a Hero? Look Around You: We love to exalt heroic individuals. But in this historical moment, collective heroism is best suited to the challenges we face.
- How to Sustain Your Activism: These three principles can help activists avoid burnout and continue working toward a better world.
- One Way to Improve Teen Mental Health: Activism: A new study finds that teens involved in youth programs develop more critical reflection and take more action to fight injustice and inequality.
- How to Renew Your Compassion in the Face of Suffering: Mass suffering can make us feel helpless. Focusing on solutions, rather than emotions, may be the way out.
- How to Deepen Our Compassion for Refugees: When we face large numbers of people in need, we almost instinctively pull back. By questioning this reaction, we can make space for a more empathic response.
Resources for children’s well-being
- Nine Tips for Talking to Kids about Trauma: In the midst of tragedy, kids will have questions. How do we respond?
- How to Talk With Kids About Scary News: Researcher Abigail Gewirtz explains how parents can have conversations with kids about global conflict and humanitarian crises.
- Five Ways to Support Students Affected by Trauma: Teachers can help students recognize their strengths and build resilience.
- Can Parents Teach Peace?: A recent study suggests they can, at least some of the time.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .
Just how good can a candle be if it has no
R E F L E C A B I L I T Y
We are not called to obliterate the World’s darkness. . .
just to glow where we are
and share our flicker
to yet another willing wick. . .
I hope this Helps
THE HELPERS
I BELIEVE
I first heard this song when it was only sung by Andrea Bocelli all the way back when BORDERS knew no borders; I stood there listening to it on their headphones that allowed you to hear songs/cd’s before you purchased; BRILLIANT but even more so, was that I stood there and listened and listened and listened and listened until I just bought the compilation cd for just this ONE SONG. . .
Ohhhhhhh that these words may now become a prayer that it may sooner than soon become an ANSWERED/REALIZED PRAYER
I Believe”
One day I’ll hear
The laugh of children
In a world where war has been banned
One day I’ll see
Men of all colors
Sharing words of love and devotion
Stand up and feel
The Holy Spirit
Find the power of your faith
Open your heart
To those who need you
In the name of love and devotion
Yes, I believe
I believe in the people
Of all nations
To join and to care
For love
I believe in a world
Where light will guide us
And giving our love
We’ll make heaven on earth
I believe in the people
Of all nations
To join and to care
For love
I believe in a world
Where light will guide us
And giving our love
We’ll make heaven on earth
Yes, I believe
I believe in the people
Of all nations
To join and to care
For love
I believe in a world
Where light will guide us
And giving our love
We’ll make heaven on earth
I believe
Ohhhhhhh that these words
may now become a Prayer
that it may sooner than soon
become an
ANSWERED/REALIZED PRAYER. . .
BE THIS PRAYER
THE SOFTNESS OF HEALING FINGERTIPS
The World is a Ouija Board
searching for the soft touches of
healing finger tips
that search out personifications of
PEACE
HEALTH
WELL-BEING
SAFTEY
HOPE
LOVE
COMPASSION
KINDNESS
Bringing what’s so not ever There
to so what’s forever now to be Here
The Tear drop Planchette
scrapes away all that’s hurtful
as it wipes away the bitter salty tear
and replaces it with a Smile
every face shares
because the pain of one is
no longer the ache of all
Banished forever
World Peace can’t be legislated
but a continuous deep unfiltered love
won’t be denied
Oh how I yearn for the feel
of those soft touches of healing fingertips
Even now as my fists ease
and my hand opens to reach
for another unfolded hand
to form a prayer not be prayed
but shared and lived
in a game
that can’t be boxed up
when it’s over
OR
SEE. . .
even now we get to choose an
ending
(SO WHY NOT MAKE IT AN ENDLESS BEGINNING?)
AN OBITUARY. . .LIVED
This is one of these movies that when I’m flipping through on a rainy Sunday afternoon and SERENDIPITY comes on, no matter where it’s at in the movie, I stop and I watch it till the end because of THIS SCENE and also mostly because I’m just a hopeless romantic, never seeking or wanting a cure.
It doesn’t matter that the movie Beverly shows its age having been released in 2001 and stars John Cusack, Kate Beckinsale and Jeremy Priven. I don’t pay much mind that it grossed some $77.5 million on a mere $28 million budget…I know what makes my heart beat differently and I’ll watch or listen to any thing that gives it
THAT BEAT. . .
You know, we all have a obituaries awaiting us; some happen actually after we die, but many, many more are written while we’re still living, and maybe the question is, “Would you rather a close friend, a loved one write an obituary for you or that you write it for yourself instead of someone writing it about you?
There are so many many beginnings and endings to our life; in our lives. I suppose an obituary can be written every day about that which is ended, that which remains, and that which begins again over and over and over again.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an Obituary to go live, playing the familiar
role of a jackass. . .
(on in other ways, some call fate and others celebrate as destiny )
THE ART OF DOING NOTHING
THERE IS AN ART TO DOING NOTHING. . .
I MEAN
N O T H I N G
that means, not listening to music or doodling or meditating or yoga or breath work or daydreaming or conniving or scheming or once-upon-a-timing or, Or, OR, ORRING
N O T H I N G
HUGE STACKED BOXES OF
n o t h i n g
. . .and so when I recently read I WANT TO BE UNPRODUCTIVE, a little piece from Danielle Coffyn, who has ever reason to be doing everything but NOTHING. Danielle is a writer, mother, teacher, mental health advocate, eating disorder survivor, and outdoor enthusiast. She started her poetry account @musingsonbeing in 2021 where she worked through her perfectionism by sharing rough drafts of her work. Her main themes include healing, feminism, rewilding, mental health, and reclaiming the body. She is a co-founder of The Superbloom Society, a community for anyone looking to build authentic, intentional connection through writing workshops and retreats.
I WANT TO BE UNPRODUCTIVE
to ponder the meaning of yellow. to listen as summer cicadas sing their final symphony of the season. to dine with friends. to savor course after course. to inhale the scent of San Marzano tomatoes bathed in balsamic brine. to taste vanilla bean gelato and espresso marry on my tongue. to study the morning habits of a neighborhood robin. to plunge blistered toes into sun-ripened sand. to float in the sea. to feel my heartbeat slow to the rhythm of the tide. to memorize the laugh lines of a California redwood. to spend a morning rereading stories from childhood. to determine which song most resembles a honey bee collecting lavender pollen. to observe a spider spinning her web. to chart freckled constellations along my child’s spine. to taste test every croissant in the city. to rest for the sole purpose of slowing down. to savor stillness. to allow myself the gift of being.
Psssssssssssssssssst:
WE ALL KNOW WHERE TO GET OUR WAX. . .
but the best is when you do a
SACRED NOTHINGNESS
that’ll have
THE FLAME
coming to the WICK
instead of the candle chasing it in the wind. . .
IT’S ALL IN (OR OUT OF) MY MIND
So. . .IS IT ALL IN YOUR HEAD
or just out of your mind?
(. . .think about it. . .)
The Surprising Ways Your Mind Influences Your Health. . .
A new book argues that we can harness the connection between our minds and our physiology for better health
. . .BUT IS IT A BOOK WE WOULD READ
OR APPLY. . . ?
Well, thankfully, Jill Suite from Greater Good Magazine did read the book and helped break it down for us.
In 1979, Harvard researcher Ellen Langer invited elderly men to spend a week at a retreat designed to remind them of their younger days, surrounded by the art, music, food, games, décor, and more from the late 1950s. Afterward, the men were tested and found to have made significant gains in hearing, memory, dexterity, posture, and general well-being. It was as if being in a place signaling their younger days made them physiologically “younger.”
Maybe you, too, have had an experience where your mind seemed to affect your health. It turns out there’s a reason for that, according to Langer, author of the new book The Mindful Body. Your mind is not separate from your physiology, and changing your mindset in various ways can lead to a happier, healthier life.
Though her book is called The Mindful Body, it’s not a book promoting mindfulness meditation, per se. Instead, it’s an argument against mindlessly accepting that our health and cognition will invariably decline, especially as we age, and the importance of letting go of limiting beliefs that keep us from being our most vital selves.
“I believe the mind and body comprise a single system, and every change in the human being is essentially simultaneously a change at the level of the mind (that is, cognitive change) as well as the body (a hormonal, neural, and/or behavioral change),” she writes. “When we open our minds to this idea of mind-body unity, new possibilities for controlling our health become real.”
How your mind influences your body
Langer recounts dozens (if not hundreds) of studies in her book illustrating how our mindset affects our physiology. For example, in one study, nursing home residents who were encouraged to take responsibility for simple decisions or care for a plant were twice as likely to be alive 18 months later. In another, housekeepers lost more weight, had lower blood pressure, and had lower body mass indices when they were prompted to consider their work as comparable to exercising in a gym, compared to other housekeepers given general health information but doing the same work. In still another, giving people information about their (fictitious) level of risk for obesity affected their metabolism and how they felt about exercise and hunger (regardless of their actual level of risk).
In one mind-blowing study, Langer had people with type 2 diabetes play video games while checking a clock every 15 minutes. Unbeknownst to the participants, some clocks ran on time, while others ran either twice as fast or twice as slow. Based on blood readings, those whose clocks ran faster (who believed more time had passed) had lower blood sugar levels than any other participants—meaning, they were using up energy faster than people in groups with slower clocks. The participants’ perception of time affected their energy consumption more than the actual time that had passed!
Despite these kinds of findings, the effects of our minds on our bodies are often called a “placebo effect” in research and dismissed as irrelevant, says Langer. In fact, she argues, many studies find that a placebo is as effective or outperforms a drug, but those studies are rarely published. This makes it hard to understand and harness a placebo’s potential for healing.
“What we should be learning from these studies is not that a particular drug is ineffective but rather how effective the placebo may have been,” she writes.
In one review of research, for example, researchers concluded that anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication were no more effective than placebos. But why were the placebos effective? No one really knows, though it could be due to expectations of getting better rather than any effects from the drugs themselves. As evidence for the power of suggestion, Langer and her colleagues have found that you can improve your vision—seemingly an intractable condition—when you’re told it’s possible to do so with practice.
In other words, expectations matter.
How to harness the power of your mind
What all this means for our lives is a bit tricky, as Langer isn’t suggesting we abandon all medical research and start healing ourselves with our minds alone. Nor is she suggesting we put everyone in an artificial living environment to pretend that we are young again, or that we are in total control of our health. But she does think we can use the power of our minds to change our health and well-being in ways that are mostly untapped.
How can you use your mind to help yourself? To start, she suggests adhering to a few basic principles:
1. Question authority—meaning, don’t follow all recommendations just because an expert tells you to. Life is uncertain, and we are individuals, with our own unique makeup. So, for example, if your doctor tells you that being one point above the threshold for “high cholesterol” requires a complete change of diet or medication, you might question that before complying. After all, there is little real difference between someone one point above versus one point below the threshold, and that reading may change one day to the next.
2. Recognize that what counts as “risky” is different from person to person. One person’s risk is another’s reasonable plan of action, making sense to them in the moment (based on their self-knowledge and available resources). Behavior can’t be judged in a vacuum. So, for example, backcountry skiing may seem risky to you and not worth doing, but it could be great fun and adventurous for someone else.
3. Approach predictions with skepticism. The future is never completely knowable. If things are looking bad, you shouldn’t assume you’re on a trajectory that will only get worse. In fact, many dire predictions turn out to be wrong or are later disproven. For example, not all people with pre-cancer go on to get cancer, nor is surgery or chemotherapy always necessary. In fact, some chemotherapy treatments once commonly used have been discontinued because they do more harm than good.
4. Understand how our choices are never completely “right” or “wrong.” You should focus less on regretting “bad decisions” and more on how to make your choices, whatever they are, work out for you. Look for the positive. For example, if you move to a new city and don’t love it right away, you shouldn’t regret your decision to move. Instead, you can focus on what the new city offers—maybe new forms of entertainment, different people to meet and befriend, or closer public parks to enjoy.
5. Avoid social comparisons or ranking yourself. This is never good for our health or happiness. Instead of chasing achievement relative to others, focus on finding meaning in what you’re already doing—whatever it is. For example, caretaking the elderly can be boring or stressful, and is often poorly compensated. But when you do it out of love or a sense of providing dignity to others, it can feel more rewarding.
As Langer notes, “When we make these shifts in our thinking, our relationships with others and ourselves improve, and our stress lessens, all in the service of improving our health.”
Be mindful of how everything changes
Langer also cautions us to be more mindful of our everyday experiences. She doesn’t mean meditate more—she wants us to notice variations in our state of being. If we pay attention to how our pain, energy levels, poor mood, or other symptoms of illness are changing over time, moment to moment, we can break out of rigid, fixed beliefs that we are sick or damaged and notice the moments when we feel happy, healthy, or pain-free.
“Paying attention to variability helps us see that symptoms come and go, which helps us home in on the situations and circumstances that might contribute to these fluctuations so that we might exert some control over them,” she writes. For example, if you pay mindful attention to variances in knee pain during the day, you may notice that you feel better after a walk and make a plan to take more walks.
In the book, she presents several studies where people with various ailments were trained to notice more variability in their symptoms—when they felt better or worse over time—and had better outcomes as a result. For example, studies have found that mindful attention to variability has helped people control their own heart rate, helped ALS patients experience less pain and physical impairment, and helped expectant mothers enjoy greater well-being—as well as better outcomes for their newborns.
Perhaps Langer’s most provocative advice is reserved for doctors and others who treat illness, mental or physical. When delivering news to patients, she writes, practitioners would do well to present diagnoses and prognoses in tentative ways, allowing for the possibility of being wrong and for more optimistic outlooks. By doing so, she says, practitioners could help patients hold loosely the labels that make them see themselves in fixed ways and become, instead, more mindful, active participants in their own health care.
“When health professionals mindlessly assume every symptom is part of the disease they’ve diagnosed or are treating, they give up the possibility to potentially influence the course of a patient’s illness,” she writes. “Diagnoses, while useful, direct attention to only a fraction of lived experience; context influences our physical responses.”
To that end, Langer hopes that all of us can hold certainty more lightly, not accept dire prognoses without question, pay more attention to how our experiences change over time, and be open to using the power of our minds to help ourselves enjoy life more.
“Once we recognize that mindless decisions from the past are limiting us, there is little stopping us from redesigning the world to better fit our current needs rather than using yesterday to determine today and tomorrow,” she writes.
WHEN YOUR PLANTED FEET SOAR
|
|
THE COLOR OF YOUR FLAG
SO JUST WHAT COLOR IS YOUR FLAG. . . ?
Everyone knows about
RED FLAGS
No one wants to know about
WHITE FLAGS
But maybe it’s the
GREEN FLAGS
we need to be seeking and flying. . .
I recently had this feed from Tashin Rose (no I don’t know her and have never remotely purposely or accidentally followed her) seemingly pop up on my feed and I don’t see those as
FLAGS TO IGNORE. . .
Maybe for just here, just now, you shouldn’t either. . .
What just screams
GREEN FLAGS
about someone?
- When they don’t hold grudges , communicate clearly and sort out things as soon as possible.
- When they do anything and everything to make you feel loved.
- When they understand your love language and try to make you feel loved in your way.
- When they are honest and you don’t have to worry about their loyality for not even a second.
- When they don’t make you feel insecure in any way.
- When they include your name in room full of opportunities.
- When they want to see your growth, your success and do anything possible to help you out in your way of success.
- When they make you feel heard, seen and understood.
- When they make effort to make the relationship better than yesterday.
- When they give you time not only when their mood is to give but when you need them the most too.
- When they respect you always and also no matter how bad the fight is they never disrespect you out of anger. They know how to control.
- When they do mistakes and also accepts it and try to fix it.
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