Far From the Tree |
| How do you find meaning in difficulty? This video trailer for the book, “Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity,” by Andrew Solomon, shows some poignant vignettes of interviews with parents and children who were born “different.” Solomon learns that although individual differences can be isolating, the fact of difference is universal. His other great discovery is joy – most of the families ended up being grateful for experiences they would have done anything to avoid.
FRUIT BEFORE ROOT FRUIT STANDS |
JUST A MOMENT: YOUR MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE
We all have one,
but we also have something inside of us
that we don’t want to share. . .
WHAT’S YOUR MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE. . . ?
Maybe the question is not so much
What you have or want to share. . .
but truly what needs uncorked in you
and we usually know the answer to that
IN JUST A MOMENT. . .
THE WORST JOB EVER
Well. . .
what is it?
What’s the
W O R S T J O B
you’ve ever had?
Most of us have had more than
J U S T O N E
J o b in our lives.
I began working well before my 14th birthday.
I had to get
“WORKING PAPERS”
signed by my parents
so that I could work a part-time job behind our house.
Charlie was a pallet builder for shipping companies
and he needed a Laborer to haul wood,
shovel and sweep up sawdust
and burn piles of wood chips/scraps.
It was a hot job
and I hated being literally,
steps aways from my backyard
where my brothers and friends were doing what I wanted to be doing:
P L A Y I N G . . .
There were Golf Course jobs,
being a Roofer,
a waiter in a Pizza diner,
a Steelworker,
working as a clerk/stocker for grocery store,
A Cigar/Tobacco/Pipe Shop Keeper
a Gas Station Attendant,
Student Minister,
Minister,
Associate Minister,
Sr Minister,
Hospice Chaplain,
Part-time Minister,
Self Published Writer,
Professional Speaker,
Wedding
Baptism
and Funearl Officiant. . . .
But do any of those jobs. . .
any of the jobs you ever had compare
to being the
Light Bulb Changer in a Cobra Cage ?
Ophiophagus hanna is the largest/longest venomous snake in the world,
and it has enough venom to kill elephants,
buffaloes,
and oh yeah,
easily any h u m a n. . .
S e r i o u s l y,
how much an hour,
how much a month,
would you need
to make
to do
t h i s
as part of your routine duties?
Me?
Not all of the money in Thailand
and it’s four neighboring Countries.
There are some great jobs,
and there are some absolutely horrible jobs,–
All a matter of perspective, huh?
There are some jobs we do for money,
lots of it,
and some we do for not any money at all.
It’s one of those little
UNKOWN FACTS,
but statistically,
Labor Day is the second
to New Year’s
as the time when most people take time
to actually sit down
and try to GPS
out a fairly clear and even more compelling plan for their future.
The Ga-Zillion dollar question is:
W I L L Y O U B E O N E O F T H E M ?
About time for an old cliche:
IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING, ANY ROAD WILL TAKE YOU THERE!
What’s the Worst Job you have ever had?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .
Maybe the Worst job Ever
is you doing
W H A T E V E R
your’e doing and ultimately. . .
N O T S U P P O S E T O B E D O I N G !
OUR WORK
ISN’T WHAT WE DO
BUT WHO WE ARE
Y O U
are the Job. . .
Y O U
are the Work
that needs to get
F I N I S H E D !
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
There’s no money in the world
—-all of it—-
that anyone could ever get
or give to do
T H A T J O B !
H A P P Y
(U N – )L A B O R D A Y
SEE WHAT YOU SEE; HEAR WHAT YOU HEAR; NOTICE!
SEE. SEE. SEE HEAR. HEAR. HEAR THE INVISIBLE IN FRINT OF YOU
Meeting Ray, even via YouTube was humbling. . .
In Belfast, Northern Ireland.
Ray exudes kindness.
One choice tidbit of his wisdom: “Life isn’t out there. . . . Life is what you do in here [tapping his temple] with what’s out there.”
(My thanks to Ray and interviewer/photographer Christopher Ward, via Model Strangers.)
JUST A MOMENT: THINKING vs DOING GOOD THINGS
In just a moment, we usually know right now and quick the difference between thinking really, really great things I mean, imagining the impossible versus doing just really simple things, good things: paying for a guy’s cup of coffee, paying for a couple that you look across the room and you see they’re sitting at the diner you’re in and you pay for their bill, or you see a little girl asking her daddy if she can have a doughnut and he said, Oh no, not today, honey, we don’t have the money,” but you go up to the cashier and you make sure that they do have the money or, or maybe it’s just a simple somebody popped into your head and you think about “wouldn’t it be nice not to buy him a big gift, but just to send them a card or a text to say, “HEY, you just popped in my head and I thought I’d send you a text just to see how you’re doing for no other reason than (the most power two words): JUST BECAUSE. . .It’s shameful and I’m not proud of it, but I do so many great things that I think about that I imagine in my head, that I never actually do, and if in fact, I did half the things that I thought about for the good of somebody else, I can’t imagine how much better the world would be or individual people.
“I thought it was a good idea at the time,” and then I didn’t act on it. So it’s not so much my New Year’s resolution as it is my Lifetime resolution: When somebody pops into my mind or when I wake up, thinking of them or when I see them I just wanna text them, or stop by, or send them a card let him know that I’m thinking of them; and if I just did that one thing, nothing more just that one thing, what a difference it might make not just in them, but just their simple day and their day-to-day routines to know that somebody thought about them and acted on itI don’t know if this will make a difference. I hope I am A Caring Catalyst enough to find out and more, inviting you along with me to find out, too.
Here’s your LICENSE to go a little past
THINKING
and
D O I N G
the next best thing. . .
FIDDLE FART AROUND
I once told my wife I was going out to buy an envelope:
“Oh”, she said, “well, you’re not a poor man. You know, why don’t you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet?”
And so I pretended not to hear her. And went out to get an envelope because I have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope.
I meet a lot of people. And see some great looking babies. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And I’ll ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don’t know. The moral of the story is – we’re here on Earth to fart around.
And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And what the computer people don’t realise, or they don’t care, is we’re dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And it’s like we’re not supposed to dance at all anymore.
Let’s all get up and move around a bit right now… or at least dance.
Kurt Vonnegut
FIDDLE FARTING AROUND
Don’t fiddle fart around
they all said
grandparents, parents, teachers, friends
because it’ll all lead to NOTHING
they all said
Now your words won’t come out
and your thoughts won’t go away
as you lay in a hospice bed
where other Fiddle Farters have died
Your memories rattle much louder
than your wheezing-can’t-take-in-any-more-air-lungs
knowing that fiddle farting around
was much more than a NOTHING
and a flavorable dash more of SOMETHING
that’ll have you dying wishing for a lot more of EVERYTHING
SEND ME A SIGN
It’s the one pandemic that can be eliminated from this world one person at a time
I F. . .
Introducing the 2024 charity Christmas video and advert, inspired by the heartwarming John Lewis Christmas adverts. The charity single, “Send Me a Sign,” has been created to make a meaningful difference. Re-engage and Friends of the Elderly, helping to bring support and companionship to those facing loneliness every day. . .
Who knew. . .
You could make a huge difference to Someone just by reaching out,
checking in,
being YOU
IN THIS
SEASON OF LIGHTS
BE YOUR OWN PERSONAL
SEASON OF CHANGE FOR ANOTHER
A DEEPER “I’M SORRY”
“I’M SORRY”
See, that wasn’t so hard was it
B U T
Did you mean it. . .
Did they feel it. . .
DID THEY BELIEVE IT. . . ?
Do you use these words
when you apologze?
It’s time to stop, researchers say
There’s something very powerful about receiving or giving a heartfelt, genuine apology.
Bad apologies, on the other hand, can be disastrous and lead to more hurt.
The new book, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies, draws from a broad range of research to explain the power of apologies, why we don’t always get good ones, and the best way to tell someone you’re sorry.
Co-authors Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy break down the six (and a half) steps to great apologies. They are:
- Say you’re sorry. Not that you “regret,” not that you are “devastated.” Say you’re “sorry.”
- Say what it is that you’re apologizing for. Be specific.
- Show you understand why it was bad, take ownership, and show that you understand why you caused hurt.
- Don’t make excuses.
- Say why it won’t happen again. What steps are you taking?
- If it’s relevant, make reparations: “I’m going to pay for the dry cleaning. Just send the bill to me. I’m going to do my best to fix what I did.”
“These six steps are relevant for adults, for children, for corporations, for institutions, for governments,” Ingall said. “And six-and-a-half is ‘listen.’ People want to be heard, and don’t jump over them. Let the person that you hurt have their say.”
Ingall said saying the word “sorry” may seem obvious, but it didn’t always happen. Instead, people say things like they’re “regretful,” and this isn’t the same thing.
“Regret is about how I feel,” Ingall said. “We’re all regretful. ‘Sorry’ is about how the other person feels. And when you apologize, you have to keep the other person’s feelings at top of mind.”
Then there are the words not to say during an apology.
Ingall points to words like “obviously” (“If it was obvious, you wouldn’t have to say it”) and “already” (“‘I’ve already apologized’ is a thing we hear a lot”), and the qualifiers like “sorry if…” and “sorry but…” and “I didn’t meant to.”
“Intent is far less important than impact when it comes to apologies,” Ingall said.
McCarthy adds that a bad apology can even make things worse.
“It’s akin to the cover-up being worse than a crime, if you make an apology that says, you know, ‘You shouldn’t even have a white sofa,’ or, ‘You shouldn’t have been standing there,'” she said.
On the other hand, a great — even late — apology can have tremendous healing power, the authors say.
“I received a letter years after a breakup from a boyfriend,” Ingall said. “And he just said, ‘I wanted you to know I’m getting married. And I’m aware that I was often not a good boyfriend. And I want you to know that I was listening, even when it didn’t seem like I wasn’t listening. And I’m going to be a better husband because of our relationship.'”
So. . .when’s the last time you apologized. . . ?
How did that go for you?
Is it worth showing up and maybe saying
maybe SHOWING it in another way. . .
I’m Sorry. . .
maybe it’s worth another try in another way just to make sure your
“I’M SORRY
goes a little bit
d
e
e
p
e
r
.
.
.
.
The GIFTED GIFT
John Lewis & Partners Christmas Advertisement. . .
and before I ever got to see the 2022 Advertisement this one from
2018 popped up and it somehow took away the allure of what waiting for something new when you can, just for a moment glimpse at something that was but still very much is. . .
and how
THAT GIFT
Inspired
Changed
Influenced
the course of a little boy’s life. . .
That the little boy happened to be Sir Elton John
is even more inspiring and awesome, huh?
The film magically begins in present day and works backwards
chronologically through Elton’s life
right until the moment on
CHRISTMAS MORNING
when he received the special gift
that changed his life. . .
You know the gift is
THE GIFT
When it’s not so much
Given
Received
Benefitted
But
SHARED
as it
O n c e
Was shared
FIRST
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
WHAT GIFT WILL YOU GIVE
WHAT GIFT WILL YOU BE
THAT WILL NOT ONLY
L I T E R A L L Y
CHANGE A LIFE
BUT
LIFETIMES TO COME
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm:
That’s so much more than a holiday/Christmas
kind of a question
ESPECIALLY
SINCE YOU ARE
SO MUCH MORE
THAN AN ANSWER. . .
THE REFRAIN
Our Song is individual
Our Song is varied
Our Song has different tunes
Our Song has multiple verses
Our Song has different meanings
But Our Refrain
OUR REFRAIN
is the same
We are walking each’s other Home
WE ARE WALKING EACH’S OTHER HOME
N E V E R
n e v e r
NEVERMORE TO BE EVER ALONE
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