Who Cares - What Matters
He stares
at his hand
and the pen
as it levitates
over a blank page
not just waiting for a word
but a rare polished gem
that’ll never be mined
only to be replaced
by some fool’s gold
d r o s s
unrefined
never to hold any value
meaning
sense
And he smiles
w i d e l y
as he sighs
without a breath
‘This is Poetry at its best’
Hair Love,
an Oscar-winning animated short film
from Akron University’s Matthew A. Cherry,
tells the heartfelt story of an African American father
learning to do his daughter’s hair
for the first time. . .
L I S T E N
take it from a bald man
A LITTLE BIT WORK
AND A WHOLE LOT OF LOVE
is a message
that transcends
even the most
unruliest
strands of hair
Most are willing to put in the
W O R K
but not the
L O V E
but when you do,
Life not only
C H A N G E S
it revolutionarily gets
B E T T E R
(P R O V E I T)
Thinking outside the box challenges, agitates, even frightens most of us,
and worst of all:
KEEPS US IN THE BOX
I recently saw this amazing video from a post of Chris Cade and it came with some other smash-up-get-rid-of-the-box thoughts:
One thousand and five hundred kindergarten children were given a test in divergent thinking.
98% of those children scored at genius level.
Divergent thinking is what allows you to see lots of possible answers to a question.
If you ask your average person how to cook an egg, he’ll come up with about ten different ways you can do it. Frying pan, poacher, pot of boiling water, in a cake, etc.
Someone good at divergent thinking will come up with 200 ways to cook that egg.
How?
Because she thinks outside of the kitchen. He’ll cook the egg on the back of sunbather at the beach. At the end of a lightning rod. Or how about putting it in a indestructible container and throwing it into the center of the sun?
80% of the answers will be impractical… but it’s how you find the perfect answer nobody has thought about yet.
According to this one study (from the book “Breakpoint and Beyond”) we’re all born with a natural ability for divergent thinking. 1,470 out 1,500 children are brilliant at thinking up endless possibilities.
The same study tested the same kids ten years later.
As you can imagine, most lost their ability for divergent thinking.
“This shows two things,” says Sir Ken Robinson (world renowned education and creativity expert). “One is we all have this capacity. And two, it mostly deteriorates.”
“Now, a lot of thing has happened to these kids as they’ve grown up. Al lot. But one of the most important things that has happened to them, I’m convinced, is they’ve become ‘educated.’ They spent ten years at school being told there’s one answer – it’s at the back.”
That’s what today’s “Paper Airplane” video is all about.
And do you know why divergent thinking is so important? Because no two situations are exactly the same.
Whatever troubles, challenges or goals you are facing in life… they are like no one else’s. You’ll never find the exact answer to your problems in a book.
You need to think for yourself.
And you need to think of not 10 or 20 or even 40 different solutions for your problem.
You need to think of 200.
You need to think way outside the box. . .
Because life doesn’t come in a box with a instruction manual
even though we keep acting like it does
in the worst possible way
BY LOOKING FOR SAID INSTRUCTIONS
JUST THE SAME. . .
what tends to happen is we end up putting our life in a box supplied to us by society.
It even comes an instruction
“one-size fits all”
manual. . .
Of course, it’s never going to get you very far
Living in someone else’s box
following their instructions
At best, you’ll be average. . .
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm:
this video is about the
“science of making paper airplanes.”
Interesting because the airplane was invented by two bicycle repair men – the Wright Brothers. . .
They specialized in divergent thinking. . .
Other inventors at the time — with far more money — were focused on building a bigger and more powerful engine for their gliders. The consensus was. . .
“if you get a powerful enough engine, the thing would fly.”
The Wright brothers instead built a six-foot wind tunnel in their bicycle shop. This allowed them to test different wings and propellers. On December 17, 1903 they won the race while competitors were going bankrupt.
But today’s “Paper Airplane” movie puts even the divergent thinking of the Wright brothers to shame. Because a paper airplane is not what Wilbur and Orville flew south of Kitty Hawk…
So why put a paper airplane in the Kitty Hawk Box?
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
The Best way to think
OUT OF THE BOX
is to
GET RID OF THE BOX
Besides. . .
why’s everyone settling for flying
when you can soar
and why soar
when you can
ascend
and why ascend
when you can
T R A N S C E N D
Have you ever been in
THE FOG. . .
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
not the kind you drive in
THE FOG
that comes from the
Perfect Storms
in our lives
that suck all of the
Joy
Happiness
Reason
Purpose
L I F E
out of us. . .
THE FOG
gets born
from all of the
WHY’S
HOW COME’S
WHAT FOR’S
that batter us
from all fronts
and literally leave us
rudderless
and virtually
without any
i n s t r u m e n t a t i o n
to guide us
like we are living in
THE FOG
Sometimes
there is a
Fog within a Fog
One dissipates
While the other
remaining nameless
s t a y s
trying on different hats
all out of style
and never very
c o m p l i m e n t a r y
discarded for a Salvation Army bin
on an empty lot
but worn as a badge of honor
by the soul
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
The greatest thing about
THE FOG
is that it lifts. . .
(keep your sunglasses handy)
And if you want to
h u r r y
THE FOG
shoooooo-ing out of sight
CREATE YOUR OWN SUNSHINE
. . .ACT AS IF
(all-ways)
Two years ago, Kobe Bryant became the first person to win both a sporting championship and an Oscar with his victory in the Best Animated Short Film for “Dear Basketball.”
The five-time NBA champion and former Los Angeles Lakers shooting guard, who died Sunday in a helicopter crash in L.A. County at age 41, won the Academy Award for his collaboration with animator Glen Keane.
In his acceptance speech alongside Keane in stage, Bryant aimed a swift jab at Fox News host Laura Ingraham, by saying basketball stars shouldn’t just “shut up and dribble.”
Ingraham had come under heavy fire the previous month for criticizing LeBron James and fellow NBA star Kevin Durant for making anti-Trump comments in an interview with ESPN’s Cari Champion for “UNINTERRUPTED,” saying they shouldn’t comment on politics and should “shut up and dribble.”
Durant went on to say that he thought Ingraham’s on-air comments were “racist,” while James responded in a simple Instagram post, stressing “I am more than an athlete.”
“I’ve always been told that as basketball players the expectation is that you play. This is all you know. This is all you do. Don’t think about handling finances. Don’t think about going into business. Don’t think that you want to be a writer 00 that’s cute,” Bryant told the Undefeatedahead of the Oscar ceremony. “I got that a lot. What do you want to do when you retire? ‘Well, I want to be a storyteller.’ That’s cute.
“This is … a form of validation for people to look and say, ‘OK, he really can do something other than dribble and shoot,” he said.
It doesn’t matter how many pages are in the Book of Life
so much as what’s
W R I T T E N
on each precious one
and more
exactly what’s
g l e a n e d
. . .We worry and fret about so many
U N N E C E S S A R Y
s t u f f
and knowing that
doesn’t make us worry less. . .
THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
And if you need something more simple
take a deep drink from my big mug:
The taste is indescribable
and the mug
is bottomless
(Just 8 days ago, a sports legend and his daughter, along with 7 other souls were lost to this world in an unspeakable, way-too-soon tragedy. Due to its shocking suddenness, and the profile of one involved, the cultural wound is vast and many are asking the big questions, which I think is an entirely appropriate response. If you are such a person, finding yourself grieving, whatever the reason, please know that I’d love to listen, and chat if you’d like. No joke. Your grief; your worry and the big questions need to be felt, asked, heard, and wrestled with responsibly. I’m yours for the hearing.)
25 of anything is a good amount
but 25 years
well, now,
that’s even more of a profound number
and account. . .
A QUARTER OF A CENTURY
25 Years and more. . .
So very, very much more
I began serving North Royalton Christian Church on January 15, 1995, knowing that I NEEDED to have a part-time position to supplement my income having jumped from a full-time Senior Minister position at Westlake Christian Church and a part-time chaplain’s position at St. John Westshore Hospital to a Spiritual Care Coordinator’s position at Hospice of the Western Reserve. It was a JUMP then and now I don’t regret even though it was a major change for me and the family. I NEEDED to have this position more than I WANTED to have the position and when Susan Cash, an Elder and also one of the primary people on the Search Committee, stood up this past Sunday in Church and marked the occasion with some fabulous and humbling remarks, (which can be seen at the bottom of this post in full taken from the February Church Newsletter) It only summoned the memory to recall things that the weight of, buckles knees and humbles the heart.
I thought 25 years ago, I NEEDED North Royalton Christian Church for the supplemental income when there have been few moments in those 25 years that have failed to remind me that I NEEDED North Royalton Christian Church for so very much more, and oh, oh how they have delivered in more ways that we will all fail to fully comprehend. My best moments (and hopefully, theirs) is when we have lived in full, vivid living color that I am not THE minister of North Royalton Christian Church, but actually and fully, A MINISTER of the church and our greatest achievements and even failings, have been when we’ve seen each other that way. WE, US, not I or me, do the ministry of the church. In essence, they made me A Caring Catalyst before I knew the true definition on one.
Maybe it’s ironic, but as we are celebrating 25 years of ministry together, I am also looming on celebrating 40 years of being ordained this May. In such a profound and powerful way I fully KNOW that I’m not just a sum total of all the pieces/parts/experiences that make me up, but literally, all of the lives who have made my life, MY LIFE.
What excites and motivates me now is that there are still lives, pieces, parts, and experiences that continue to be added, to further, and not just expand or make my tapestry, but actually BE MY TAPESTRY. A single thread a tapestry does not make. I’m so richly consecrated to have that proven moment by moment and better still, person by person.
Much in the same vein of Robert Frost’s poem, STOPPING BY THE WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING, I so much embody the last verse:
THE WOODS ARE LOVELY, DARK AND DEEP,
BUT I HAVE PROMISES TO KEEP,
AND MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP,
AND MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP.
In a way that echoes those very sentiments, Susan ended her much appreciated remarks with a quote by an author I’ve never really read, Ursula Le Guin. It comes from her novel, ALWAYS COMING HOME:
“When I take you to the Valley, you’ll see the blue hills on the left and the blue hills on the right, the rainbow and the vineyards under the rainbow late in the rainy season, and maybe you’ll say, ‘There it is, that’s it!’ But I’ll say, ‘A little further.’ We’ll go on, I hope and you’ll see the roofs of the little towns and the hillsides yellow with wild oats, a buzzard soaring and a woman singing by the shadows of a creek in the dry season, and maybe you’ll say, ‘Let’s stop here, this is it!’ But I’ll say, ‘A little further yet.’ And we’ll go on, a you’ll hear a quail calling on the mountain by the springs of the river, and looking back you’ll see the river running downward through the wild hills behind, below, and you’ll say, ‘Isn’t that the Valley?’ And all I will be able to say is, ‘Drink this water of the spring, rest here awhile, we have a long way yet to go without you.’”
I know that my best steps are the ones I’ve never taken alone
but in sync with others
and that the ones to be taken
could be the best ones
still yet to come
with the promise
that those taken long after my last step
could be the very best yet
even more
because of any step I’ve walked along with others
. . .those are the steps
that keep marching forward
. . .ALL-WAYS forward
advancing
inspiring other steps
to be taken
experienced
s h a r e d
25 Years
and More
so very, very much
M O R E
that shows you the difference between
N O T I C I N G
and
K N O W I N G
I have been so magnificently blessed
in experiencing both
and the best part–
I still do
I still am
WE ARE HUMBLY APPRECIATIVE
Thank you
January 26, 2020
In Honor of Chuck and Erin’s 25th Anniversary
In January 1995, we didn’t have GPS. There was no Febreze or Swiffer. Selfies & texting didn’t exist because there were no smart phones. Invisible braces were far off in the future. There was no Wikipedia, Google or Facebook and online banking and shopping at Amazon were not yet available.
If you were attending NRCC in early January of 1995, you know we didn’t have a minister either until later in the month. That’s when Chuck joined us.
Over the years, Chuck has presented about 1200 sermons to us. He doesn’t preach, he tells parables—I remember one of his first Sundays here he told us about a character in his hometown who the towns’ people called Ugly. It was a very touching and dramatic story. Chuck has delivered a sermon from the top of a ladder; he’s come dressed as a bum; was an Elvis impersonator; has been Paul, Peter, and Judas; and he often sings his sermons. Once his niece sat in our congregation as a homeless person.
I don’t think he has ever repeated a sermon let alone repeated a theme.
And standing alongside Chuck is Erin—we got a twofer—two special gifts to this congregation. We thank God for sending you both to us. You’ll never know how much we appreciate your devotion, your dedication, your love, your spirit, your teachings, and your wisdom.
I was watching a program about the writer Ursula Le Guin recently and the program ended with her reading from her novel Always Coming Home. I think her words speak to Chuck and Erin’s ministry here:
“When I take you to the Valley, you’ll see the blue hills on the left and the blue hills on the right, the rainbow and the vineyards under the rainbow late in the rainy season, and maybe you’ll say, “There it is, that’s it!” But I’ll say. “A little farther.” We’ll go on, I hope, and you’ll see the roofs of the little towns and the hillsides yellow with wild oats, a buzzard soaring and a woman singing by the shadows of a creek in the dry season, and maybe you’ll say, “Let’s stop here, this is it!” But I’ll say, “A little farther yet.” We’ll go on, and you’ll hear the quail calling on the mountain by the springs of the river, and looking back you’ll see the river running downward through the wild hills behind, and you’ll say, “Isn’t that the Valley?” And all I will be able to say is “Drink this water of the spring, rest here awhile, we have a long way yet to go and I can’t go without you.”
Thank you Chuck and Erin
Written by Susan Cash
In one of the most famous Dove films, Real Beauty Sketches explores the gap between how others perceive us and how we perceive ourselves. Each woman is the subject of two portraits drawn by FBI-trained forensic artist Gil Zamora: one based on her own description, and the other using a stranger’s observations. The results are surprising. . .
OR IS IT. . . ?
T R U T H
Sometimes the very mirrors we look into
are so disturbingly smashed
that they don’t throw back any semblance
of who we truly are. . .
T R U T H
Sometimes we see ourselves
as we truly believe we are
instead of how others see us. . .
T R U T H
Maybe one of our greatest strengths
is the one we use
the least:
SHOWING OTHERS THE ABSOLUTE BEAUTY WE SEE IN THEM
. . .letting others see themselves
as we see them
but not once
or not once in a while
. . .but
e v e r y t i m e
all the time. . .
Go ahead,
take another look. . .
A LONGER LOOK
Are you more beautiful than you think. . . ?
Uhhhhhhhh, maybe you’re the wrong person to ask
THAT QUESTION. . .
Maybe the best way to see your greatest reflection
is in
o t h e r s
“ Hope”
It hovers in dark corners
before the lights are turned on,
it shakes sleep from its eyes
and drops from mushroom gills,
it explodes in the starry heads
of dandelions turned sages,
it sticks to the wings of green angels
that sail from the tops of maples.
It sprouts in each occluded eye
of the many-eyed potato,
it lives in each earthworm segment
surviving cruelty,
it is the motion that runs
from the eyes to the tail of a dog,
it is the mouth that inflates the lungs
of the child that has just been born.
It is the singular gift
we cannot destroy in ourselves,
the argument that refutes death,
the genius that invents the future,
all we know of God.
It is the serum which makes us swear
not to betray one another;
it is in this poem, trying to speak.
“Hope” by Lisel Mueller from Alive Together. © Louisiana State University Press, 1996.
I learned early on
that the vulnerability of
putting words on a page
. . .even if that page
is crumbled
is unlined
is torn
is just-in-time-saved
from the bottom of a dirty waste paper can
is not just merely
p o e t r y
but . .
H O P E
at its best
. . .even if it’s just because of the vast amount of critics
WE ARE ALL POETS
No blank page is ever really needed
to write a poem
. . .P O E T R Y
begats
P O E T R Y
. . .hence:
A Voice
not heard
A Scent
not smelled
A Beauty
not seen
A Delicacy
not tasted
A Touch
not felt
An Intuition
not realized
And for all of the
jumbled
tumbled
tangled
N O T S
The holy common
Y E T
is
unexplainably still
e x p e r i e n c e d
h o p e
H O P E
. . .it is in the poem trying to speak
ARE YOU HAPPY. . .
DO YOU WANT TO BE. . ?
Roy Baumeister and John Tierney’s new book ‘The Power of Bad’ is all about the negativity bias, how it affects you, and how you can avoid it.
BY JOSH ST. CLAIRDEC 24, 2019
ILLUSTRATION BY NEIL WEBB
Humans are hardwired for negativity. We dwell on the bad. We assume the worst. We’re way more likely to remember that one time our boss told us we were sloppy than the ten times she told us we were great. And as much as we try to look on the bright side of half-empty (-full!) glasses, we’re just not built that way. The human brain developed millennia ago, when danger roamed the savanna, ready to ambush and kill us at any moment, and that led to what Roy Baumeister, Ph.D., a professor of social psychology at Florida State University, has dubbed the “negativity bias” that still governs how we think.
The only trouble is that for all the times it might keep us alive, negativity bias also has a way of causing us a ton of unnecessary stress. “The negativity bias gives us a warped view of the world,” says John Tierney, who worked with Baumeister to coauthor the upcoming book The Power of Bad. We focus only on what’s going wrong (in the present) and assume that it will keep going wrong (in the future). We despair, lose hope, and conclude that things won’t change. As if that weren’t already bad enough, Twitter, Instagram, and other feeds hit us with crisis after crisis. But there’s some hope: Through their research, Baumeister and Tierney have found real solutions that can help us fight our instincts and keep us out of a daily emotional funnel cloud. The Power of Bad: How the Negativity Effect Rules Us and How We Can Rule Itamazon.com$14.99SHOP NOW
Five to one. That’s the famous Gottman Ratio, a predictive formula showing that couples tend to stay together when they have five times as many positive experiences as negative ones. Baumeister thinks of it as a positivity ratio, and when it comes to your kids, your spouse, your underlings and bosses, he recommends aiming for a more attainable ratio of about four to one. For every negative comment you feel compelled to make, make four positive ones. Baumeister even believes that this four-to-one ratio applies to other aspects of your life. For instance, if you’re having sex with your partner four times for every one argument (sex because of arguments probably doesn’t count), then your relationship is likely positive.
Nostalgia used to be a dirty word. People prone to indulging in nostalgia were thought to be depressed or living in the past, says Tierney. But recent research has shown something else entirely. Far from keeping you down, nostalgia—yearning for past positive events or relationships—can actually pick you up. In one study, people who were prompted to think of an experience that made them “long for the past” before work reported feeling more motivated and therefore worked harder than those who were
asked to think of an ordinary life event.
Another study even showed that people experiencing nostalgia judged a room to be warmer than those remembering an everyday event. Your move: Spend a moment before your workday begins to relive a special memory. Then extend the good vibes by writing down four keywords that best describe that memory.
You may not like tooting your own horn, but a proven way to combat negativity is to heighten positive experiences, and highlighting the positives gives them extra power. “When something good happens, sharing that good news with people you care about makes it more important, gives it a bigger impact, and it helps you develop a bond with the person you’re sharing with,” explains Tierney. Pay attention to and celebrate other people’s victories, too. If they share good news with you, really hear it. A “That’s great!” /“Amazing!”/“Tell me about it!” ratchets up positivity. Even better if you put down your phone for the story and your response. On the flip side, you can also draw strength from negative experiences. Baumeister points to Shelley Taylor’s research on breast cancer patients. “The surprising thing was that most of them ended up talking about it as a positive experience,” he says. They saw it as an opportunity to make positive changes: to appreciate life, to focus on the present, to manage stress. One way to reframe is to think about what you can learn from a negative experience, not how it holds you back.
“Why do you think you’re a good relationship partner?” That’s what Baumeister asks in his senior psych class at FSU. Many of his students list what they do well, saying that maybe being a good listener or a good sexual partner gives them an edge. It’s good to be good. “But what makes more impact,” says Baumeister, “is not doing the bad things.” Because bad always outweighs good, what you do is less important than what you don’t do. Sometimes that means holding your tongue, he adds, and putting a lid on the judging or curtness for minor infractions.
For the majority of us, our greatest negativity is behind us—in our tendency to dwell on past mistakes and regrets, according to Baumeister’s current research. The future also carries negativity: stress about outcomes and potential failures. The present, however, is something of a golden mean, a place away from all that. “The mindfulness people are right,” Baumeister says. “Keep your attention focused on the here and now.” Catch yourself regretting the past? Bring yourself back to now. Worrying about tomorrow/next month/dinner tonight? Bring yourself back to now. If that’s too hard, just write down one thing you’re grateful for every day. That pushes away the negative and lets the positive flow in.
It’s a BILLION DOLLAR pursuit:
H A P P I N E S S
and the sad truth
is that it really doesn’t cost a cent. . .
BET THIS:
I hate horror films.
JUST MERCY
is a film based on a true story. . .
It is the worst of horror films
not because it could happen
but because it did happen;
And it’s made scarier more
frightful more
because it still is
h a p p e n i n g;
And the absolute most terrifying thing of all is
I AM A PART OF THE CAST. . .
Like a bad dream I want to wake up
but when I do,
I’m not only directing the film
but actually starring in it
AND ABSOLUTELY
DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT. . .
AND THOUGH IT MAY BE UP FOR COUNTLESS AWARDS
I FEAR NOT THE NOTORIETY
BUT THE HARSH REVIEWS
I SO RIGHTEOUSLY DESERVE. . .
WAIT. . .
What. . ?
Are you in the movie, too?
I only hope
that the
s i l e n c e
that finds me guilty
is over matched by the
radical compassion
I attempt to give
that
e x o n e r a t e s
me. . .
A M E N