The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

Fa-La-La-La-Whaaaaaaat?

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W     E     L     L.            .            .
are you ready to bring some
B  A  H
to everyone else’s
H  U  M  B  U  G.               .               .

Hold on there, Sparky
before you pull the plug on all of the festivities
there just may be

Two Surprising Ways to Make Your Holidays Less Stressful

We can find joy even if the holiday season doesn’t live up to our expectations.     .     .

Christine Carter, Ph.D. is a Senior Fellow at the Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction (BenBella, 2020), The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less (Ballantine Books, 2015), and Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents (Random House, 2010). A former director of the GGSC, she served for many years as author of its parenting blog, Raising Happiness.  She may put some twinkle in your tinsel with some of these simple suggestions to keep you going as A Caring Catalyst during this Holiday Season.

Feeling overwhelmed? Wondering how you’re going to get it all done? Wishing you could just lie down? You aren’t alone.

The holidays can be stressful. Often, there’s a lot to do and a lot to buy and a lot of people to see. Sometimes we get so busy we have a hard time enjoying events that we’re otherwise looking forward to.

But we can make this holiday season less stressful for ourselves. Below are two tips to enjoy the holidays more.

 Accept that the holidays will probably be, at times, disappointing.     .     .

Bet you weren’t expecting that one! But acceptance is a strangely effective strategy for feeling happier and more relaxed at any time of the year. When we accept a person or a situation we find challenging, we let go of the resistance that creates stress and tension. There’s a lot of truth to the adage that “what we resist, persists.”

Here’s how this works. When someone or something is being a pain in your rear, take a deep breath and accept the situation. Say to yourself something like, “I accept that Jane is upset right now; I allow this situation to be as it is.” Then notice how you are feeling, and accept how you are feeling, as well. You can say to yourself, “I accept that I am feeling angry at Jane and disappointed. I allow my feelings to be as they are right now.”

If accepting a disappointing situation or person seems too hard for you, here are the handy alternatives you’re left with:

  • You can judge and criticize others and the disappointing situation in general, and blame others for your own negative feelings. As a bonus, everyone around you will no doubt feel your judgment. Some people will likely feel wrongly accused, or like you are trying to “fix” them. You’ll achieve the dual outcomes of being hurtful to others while simultaneously making yourself feel tense and lonely.
  • Another alternative to acceptance is to nurse your anxiety and despair over the situation through rumination. To ruminate effectively, think about what is wrong with the situation or person as often as possible. Don’t let yourself become distracted from the negative. Tell everyone what you don’t like about the situation or person. This will successfully amplify both your negative feelings and the difficulty of the situation.
  • You can also definitely deny how difficult the situation is by pretending that nothing is bothering you. You can stuff your hard feelings down by drinking too much or by staying really, really busy and stressed. Simply avoid situations and people you don’t want to deal with, because that’s more important than participating in meaningful traditions and events.

Criticism, judgment, rumination, blaming, denial, and avoidance are almost like holiday rituals for some of us. But they are all tactics of resistance, and they won’t protect you. Ironically, these tactics will allow the disappointments or difficulties to further embed themselves into your psyche.

This is a long-winded way of pointing out that resistance doesn’t make us less stressed or more joyful in difficult situations. What does work is to simply accept that the circumstance is currently hard. We can accept a difficult situation, and still make an effort to improve things. This gentle acceptance does not mean that you are resigned to a miserable holiday, or that nothing you do will make the situation better. Maybe it will get better—and maybe it won’t.

Accepting the reality of a difficult situation allows us to soften. This softening opens the door to our own compassion and wisdom; and we all know that over the holidays, we are going to need those things.

 Let go of expectations while turning your attention to what you appreciate.     .     .

Some people (myself included) suffer from what I think of as an abundance paradox: Because we have so much, it becomes easy to take our good fortune for granted. As a result, we are more likely to feel disappointed when we don’t get what we want than to feel grateful when we do.

This tendency can be especially pronounced during the holidays, when we tend to have high hopes that everything will be perfect and wonderful and memorable. You might have a fantasy of a sweet, close relationship with an in-law, for instance, or grand ideas about the perfect Christmas Eve dinner.

This sort of hope, as my dear friend Susie Rinehart has reminded me, can be a slippery slope to unhappiness: Hoping a holiday event will be the best-ever can quickly become a feeling that we won’t be happy unless it is, leading to sadness and disappointment when reality doesn’t live up to our ideal.

Unfortunately, the reality of the holidays is unlikely to ever outdo our fantasies of how great everything could be. So the trick is to ditch our expectations and instead notice what is actually happening in the moment. And then find something about that moment to appreciate.

Can you appreciate that your spouse did a lot of planning (or dishes, or shopping) this week? Do you feel grateful that you have enough food for your holiday table? Are you thankful for your health (or if your health is not great, that you are still here)?

It’s enough to notice and appreciate the small things, but when I’m having trouble with this, I like to practice an extreme form of gratitude that involves contemplating how fleeting our lives may be. There’s nothing like facing death to make us appreciate our lives—and sure enough, research finds that when people visualize their own death in detail, their gratitude increases.

If you feel stuck on what isn’t going well rather than what is, set aside some time to reflect on the following questions. Take each question one at a time, and try journaling an answer to each before moving on to the next one.

  • What would I do if this were the last holiday season I had left to live? What would I do the same, and what would I do differently?
  • What would I do if this were the last holiday season that my spouse, parents, or children had left to live? What would I do the same, and what would I do differently?

It’s a little heavy, I know, but contemplating death does tend to put things in perspective.

As the holidays approach, we will likely feel stressed and exhausted, but we need not feel like victims to this time of year. We often have a great deal of choice about what we do and how we feel. We can choose to bring acceptance to difficult situations and emotions, and we can choose to turn our attention to the things that we appreciate.

This holiday season, may we all see abundance when it is all around us—not an abundance of stuff, necessarily, but rather an abundance of love and connection. Even during the difficult bits.

There’s still a whole lot of
F   A
to go along with your
L    A
L    A
L    A
Hopefully this will help keep your
lights burning
b r i g h t
and bring you some
M E R R Y
M E R R Y
to share your cup of
C  H  E  E  R

 

SEEING BEAUTY THAT DOESN’T EXIST

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Have you ever seen
BEAUTY THAT DOESN’T EXIST?

Let’s face it.         .         .
THE WORLD ISN’T ALWAYS A PRETTY PLACE
especially when it shows us
anything that could ever resemble even remotely
B          E          A          U          T         Y
but maybe it’s time to rub your eyes
and take another look
A DEEPER GAZE
at what’s unblinkingly before us.          .          .
Some 60 days ago
the Israel-Hamas war began waging
to an almost unimaginable comprehension
near and far
FAR, FAR,
from anything we could label
B E A U T Y
but.     .     .

Seeing Beauty Matters,
Even in the Midst of War

When people find themselves displaced from their homes, finding or creating beauty is a human impulse that brings
hope and resilience.     .     .

Stephanie Acker from The Greater Good Magazine recently reported what we hoped but maybe, even now, still can’t comprehend.  She pulls back the curtain to the following story:

A small group of children in Gaza sit on a lavender and white blanket around a small tray of beverages, singing “Happy Birthday” to a young girl. Like kids her age around the world, she wears a sweatshirt with prints of Elsa and Anna, characters from Frozen; unlike most kids, she’s celebrating against a backdrop of a war that, according to United Nations estimates as of November 10, 2023, has already killed more than 4,500 Palestinian children.

Celebrating anything might seem odd or even inappropriate in the face of so much devastation—and in the middle of what many are calling genocide.

However, in the research of refugees that Stephanie  conducted with interdisciplinary artist and scholar Devora Neumark, they found that the urge to beautify one’s surroundings is widespread and profoundly beneficial—particularly so in the harrowing circumstances of loss, displacement, and danger.

When people find themselves displaced from their homes, finding or creating beauty can be just as vital as food, water, and shelter.

Gaza today

In the first six weeks of the Israel-Hamas war, 70% of Gaza’s 2.3 million residents have had to leave or have lost their homes.

Over half crowd into some type of emergency shelter, while others squeeze into relatives’ and neighbors’ homes. Food is scarce and increasingly expensive. According to the U.N., people are getting only 3% of the water they need each day. Much of the water they do have is polluted.

Crops are dying. Moms are not producing breast milk. People are getting sick. There are severe shortages of baby formula, as well as anesthesia for those needing surgery. The lack of space and overwhelming stress and fear add sleep to the list of things that are hard to come by.

These needs are urgent and essential. Without them, people will die. Too many already have, while the conditions for those who live are horrific. They make it hard to see much else.

But the endless images of bombs and blood hide the story of the life, colorand creativity that existed in Gaza. And they hide the beauty that persists despite war.

Beauty is often viewed as a luxury. But this isn’t the case. It’s the opposite.

A human impulse

Beauty has been a hallmark of every human civilization. Art philosopher Arthur Danto wrote that beauty, while optional for art, is not an option for life. Neuroscientists have shown that our brains are biologically wired for beauty: The neural mechanisms that influence attention and perception have adapted to notice color, form, proportion, and pattern.

We’ve found that refugees worldwide, often with limited or no legal rights, still invest considerable effort in beautifying their surroundings. Whether they’re staying in shelters or makeshift apartments, they paint walls, hang pictures, add wallpaper, and carpet the floors. They transform plain and seemingly temporary accommodations into personalized spaces—into semblances of home.

Refugees rearrange spaces to share meals, celebrate holidays, and host parties—to greet friends, hold dances, and say goodbyes. They burn incense, serve tea in decorative porcelain, and recite prayers on ornate mats. These simple acts carry profound significance, even amid challenges.

Urban studies scholars Layla Zibar, Nurhan Abujidi, and Bruno de Meulder have told the story of Um Ibrahim, a Syrian refugee. When she was pregnant, she and her husband transformed the tent they were issued at a refugee camp in the Kurdistan region of Iraq into home. They built brick walls. She planned paint colors and furniture. Around her, neighbors potted plants and set up chairs to create front porches on their temporary shelters to be able to gather with friends. They turned roads into places for celebrating special occasions. They painted a flag at the entrance of the camp.

They made a new home, but they also made it feel like it “used to in Syria.”

Creating hope in a hopeless place

The benefits of beauty are both practical and transformative, especially for refugees.

Many refugees experience trauma. All experience loss. Beautifying is a way to exert agency, grieve, and heal.

Simple acts—rearranging a home, sweeping the floor, or intentionally placing an object—allow refugees to infuse an area with their own identity and taste. They provide a way to cope when one has little control over anything else. Often, once someone is labeled a refugee, all their other identities are overshadowed or disappear.

Neumark’s study of over 200 individuals who experienced forced displacement found that beautifying the home helped heal intergenerational trauma caused by forced displacement.

Neumark observed that as children participated in efforts to beautify their home, it seemed to positively influence their own coping mechanisms and well-being.

Furthermore, if children could imagine their homes prior to displacement through the stories and images shared with them—what scholar Marianne Hirsch calls “postmemories”—then the actions taken to beautify their present-day homes could be transformative. They served as a bridge connecting the past with the present and facilitated the ongoing process of healing and preserving identity.

Ultimately, making a space feel more comfortable, secure, and personalized is a tangible expression of hope for a future.

Cultivating love and life

Even prior to the start of the Israel-Hamas war, Palestinians lived in the face of immense injustice and violence.

Their Palestinian research partner, who must remain anonymous for security reasons, described that their home in the refugee camp feels like living in jail, but that they still make it a beautiful place to live.

Prior to the start of the latest war, neighborhoods featured striking muralsand embellished walls. Intricate mosaics adorned buildings, and paint livened the facades of homes. Neighbors would gather to pray, putting on new clothes, spraying perfume, and burning incense to prepare for the rituals. As Christmas approached, Palestinian Christians, along with some Muslims, would decorate their homes. Both faiths would gather for annual tree lightings.

Geographer David Marshall described how youth living in a Palestinian refugee camp used beauty to focus on the positives in their environment and dream about a future beyond their camp—and the walls that constrained their lives.

In their community-based storytelling project in a Palestinian refugee camp this past summer, they witnessed the commitment to making homes beautiful in the thriving gardens that were created within very crowded quarters. Neighbors shared how their gardens calm them, provide a place to gather with friends, and serve as a reminder of fields they once tended.

In her 2021 research, Corinne Van Emmerick, a Ph.D. candidate in sociology, described Fatena, a Palestinian who was living in a refugee camp. She had flowers on everything—the roof, walls, and windowsills. They were expensive and needed “lots of love.” But, Fatena added, they gave her “love back.”

A form of resistance and resilience

One Guinean refugee interviewed as part of Neumark’s study said, “As refugees we lose our sense of beauty, and when that happens, we lose our sense of everything, of life itself.”

If the opposite of this is true, then clearly beauty cannot be thought of as superficial or an afterthought. One study of Bosnian refugees found that their ability to notice beauty was a sign of improved mental health.

Creating, witnessing, and experiencing beauty offers a connection to the familiar, works to preserve cultural identity, and fosters belonging.

It’s what ensures that a little girl in Gaza not only has her birthday celebrated, but that it is also made as beautiful as possible.
So.            .           .
do you see
BEAUTY
in the
B O T C H E D.          .         .
BRING YOUR PAINT BRUSH
.          .          .let your strokes be broad and bold
SHOW A BEAUTY
that muddied
can still never be besmirched.         .        .

(Devora Neumark, an interdisciplinary artist and researcher whose trauma-informed work explores the intersections between a home beautification and the human experience in the context of displacement, contributed to writing this article.

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.)

 

 

YOUR REMEMBER WHEN’ER

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This video has been making it’s rounds as the Holiday season is in full force unfolding before us.  No matter what we believe or in what various moods/feelings we are treading or at times, seemingly drowning in, Holidays or not, it goes to the heart of our remembering, our once upon a times, that at times feels like hugging a porcupine and yet we squeeze all the more harder to keep those memories close and to actually do all we can to bring them back to vivid, living color so that we can feel all that is good, all that is love, all that once upon a time was.        .        .

Sometimes it’s not so much
WHAT YOU REMEMBER
as
T     H     A     T
you are
R   E   M   E   M   B   E   R   E   D.      .      .
Memories are precious
and the only things more important:
THE MEMORIES YET TO BE CREATED.       .       .
this holiday season
May your greatest memories
be those you’ve yet to create
(but undoubtedly will)
Let your Remember’er
bring you
what
THE NEW
sometimes can never quite promise
(and may your Remember’er do it often)

 

HO-HO-HELL

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OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HOW THE
HO
HO
HO
has already begun
with the same
Q U E S T I O N
every year:
HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THE HOLIDAYS
or dare to
T H R I V E
and actually
enjoy them.        .       .

5 Ways to Survive

The Holidays if You’re a Scrooge

Illustration by Brown Bird Design for TIME
It’s a really good question but not as good as some of the not-so-age-old solutions that may be easier to implement than once thought or better still in lieu of scrapping the Holidays all together.        .        .Holiday lore has it that you better not pout, you better not cry. But that’s all some of us want to do during the holiday season, when the pressure to be festive is so intense, anyone who doesn’t comply risks being declared a grinch or a Scrooge.
There are plenty of reasons one might dislike the holidays, including strained family relationships, chaotic travel logistics, and the pressure to buy lots of gifts (in this economy). All are valid, mental-health experts say.

“Just like some people like chocolate and others don’t, some people don’t like the things that are associated with the holidays,” says Dr. Jessica Beachkofsky, a psychiatrist based in Fla. “There might be religious overtones they don’t appreciate. They might not like having to go out and about when it’s cold outside. Some people don’t like the noise—or music—of the holidays, and think it’s gaudy or obnoxious.”

If that sounds familiar, it’s important to focus on things that restore you. That includes the year-round stuff—getting enough sleep and exercise, and going easy on the alcohol—as well as activities that really lift you up. This is the time to get that massage, take yourself to the movies, and surround yourself with your favorite things.

If you’re dreading decking the halls, here are five ways to better cope this holiday season.

Reach Out

Illustration by Brown Bird Design for TIME

Maybe you don’t want to have a silent night—and then another and another. There’s so much focus on togetherness during the holidays that those who don’t have a packed calendar might feel isolated and sad. Be open about it. “Don’t be afraid to say to someone, ‘I’m alone. What are your plans? I don’t have any yet,’” says Dr. Sue Varma, a psychiatrist in New York. Many people will respond by extending an invitation; perhaps the only reason they hadn’t done so already was that they didn’t realize you’d be available or interested.

You can also seek out new friends and things to do via platforms like Meetupand Nextdoor, Varma recommends. Another way to surround yourself with people is to volunteer, even if it’s not something you plan on doing the rest of the year. Sign up to visit residents at a local nursing home, bake cookies for first-responders, adopt a kitten, or serve food at a homeless shelter. You’ll get to socialize, and whoever you’re helping will be grateful for the company—a win-win from any angle.

Set Boundaries

Illustration by Brown Bird Design for TIME

Lots of people struggle with the holidays because of strained family relationships. Setting boundaries is key, Varma says: Tell your mom that you’ll join her for Christmas or New Year’s, but only one-on-one and not with her new husband you don’t get along with. Or, if you don’t have the capacity to deal with your uncle’s political opinions, let your family know you’ll see him in a large group setting (not seated right next to you at dinner).

Have some lines ready to shut down any unwanted conversations. If someone brings up politics and you don’t want to engage, say, “I’m not here to talk about that, but I would like to talk about this delicious food, or the amazing athletes playing football today,” suggests Marhya Kelsch, a psychotherapist in Calif. or just the Classic: “Come on, it’s all about being together and the holidays not about the elections or rights. . . .”

If you’re nervous your guests will bring up a thorny personal issue, address it directly, immediately after arriving. You might say, “Todd and I broke up. It’s been really hard. I would appreciate if we could not talk about it, because I really want to enjoy being here with all of you,” Beachkofsky suggests. “It sounds scary, but if you say it one time, and if those people are even a little reasonable, they won’t bring up the thing you’re asking them not to talk about.”

Let yourself feel sad

Illustration by Brown Bird Design for TIME

Every year, Beachkofsky hears from people who are overcome with grief at the idea of spending the holidays without someone who’s no longer here. Her best advice? “You need to feel the feels,” she says. “If you’re sad and everyone else is happy, you are entitled to that feeling.” One way to cope, Beachkofsky says, is to let a supportive friend or family member know you’re struggling. Ask if you can call them any time you need an ear. Then, you’ll know you have someone to turn to who won’t simply tell you to be merry and have another cookie.

It can also be helpful to find ways of honoring the person—or people—you’re mourning. Did you share a special tradition, like always going to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra together or making popcorn garland for the tree? “Find a way to incorporate that into the season,” says Steffani Wooley, a licensed professional counselor based in Texas. Or make a special ornament or photo collage that reminds you of your loved one. “You could even set a place at the table to remember them,” she says.

Be flexible with travel

Illustration by Brown Bird Design for TIME

Travel can be a logistical nightmare during the busiest time of the year. If you don’t want to fork over the cash for a prime-time plane ticket, or if you’re dreading the crowds and long delays, offer a compromise to your long-distance relatives. “Just say, ‘We’re not celebrating Christmas on December 25—we’re going to do it February 1,’” Varma suggests. Then, you can eliminate a major source of stress—and have something to look forward to throughout the holiday season.

Go low-key with gifts

Illustration by Brown Bird Design for TIME

Ongoing inflation is still causing prices for almost everything to spike. If exorbitant costs are stressing you out, take the pressure off. First, tell your family members you need to be more low-key about gifts this year, Varma advises. Those with a big family might draw names and only buy for one person or agree that only the kids will get gifts.

And rejigger your perspective on what makes a good gift. As Varma points out, people love to get homemade treats or other inexpensive but thoughtful offerings—“something as simple as homemade pesto,” she says. If you’re gifting someone who you know values time with you, book a yoga class or plan to cook a special meal together. “There are so many ways to be creative that don’t involve a lot of money,” she says.

 Does this help bring some of the sparkle
Does this help bring some of the wonder
Does this help bring some of the jingle
back into your Holiday
or better
NOT STEAL FROM IT.        .        . 

 DARE BE THE FLAVOR THIS SEASON SEEKS 
and ultimately defines you as the Caring Catalyst
IT NEEDS.     .    .
Here’s to a Ho-Ho-Hell-less Holiday
for one and all
and everyone in-between 

NEVER TOO EARLY

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W   E   L   L.          .          .          ?

Is it still too early to celebrate Christmas?
(only 40 days away)
Yeah, it’s time for that debate again S O.    .    .
what say you?

Naomi Ludlow from USA TODAY took a real good look at this and had some interesting facts and fictions.  I was actually in COSTCO over the Labor Day weekend and BAM there was just a small aisle of Christmas trees and lights.  Now that Halloween marked the end of spooky season and is a full two weeks behind us, there’s a constant debate on when we should start celebrating Christmas. In recent years, we’ve seen the festive period creep in as early as Nov. 1.  Sirius/XM Radio already has there stations blaring the Christmas tunes and families put up decorations and some get a head start on buying presents because there are BLACK FRIDAY sales before Black Friday now.

And so the now-annual debate has begun: When is the “proper” time to start decking the halls, decorating the Christmas tree and belting out those merry songs?

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
I never take mine down, we just decorate it for the different seasons/holiday’s as they come and go

Social media starts popping with personal opinions, with some demanding all Christmas cheer cease and desist until Thanksgiving has been observed, while other Santa Claus celebrants proclaim Dec. 1 as the official start of the season.

And then of course there are the uber-eager fans, including the self-proclaimed “Queen of Christmas,” Mariah Carey, who say Nov. 1 is the right time to kick off the holiday season.

Yet even as the start of the holiday remains up for debate, there’s more than just personal traditions and preferences on the line. Regardless of where you may fall on this seasonal battle, there are some very real reasons why some people decide to start the celebrations long before what others may believe appropriate.

Christmas lights before Thanksgiving:There’s a reason behind the ‘act of kindness,’ experts say

Holiday traditions bring comfort to some,
but sadness to others

The past two years have been a time of isolation and new norms that sent many into a frenzy. The same goes for how we’ve celebrated the holidays. Families adjusted by having virtual gatherings, but for many, the joy of the season remained.

For most people, the holidays are a time to step away from normal routines, reconnect with family and close friends, and destress.

“We’re kind of stuck in the day-to-day and putting out fires in our lives, but taking the time to prioritize some celebrations with friends and family really creates positive feelings and helps us enjoy life,” said clinical psychologist Ryan Howes.

Thus a reason for some to want to capitalize on as many holiday events as possible – to give people hope of the better times that are ahead.

“For many people, the holidays are associated with positive emotional arousal,” psychotherapist Owen O’Kane told USA TODAY. The Sunday Times bestselling author continued, “And that could be linked to the fact that many people associate the holiday period with warmth, family, nostalgia and connection.”

Leading up to the holiday season, people look forward to their established family traditions and often set expectations linked to their fond childhood memories. A scientific study showed that when humans set expectations for pleasure, we produce dopamine, which is a chemical messenger that tells the brain how happy we feel.

On the other hand, some people don’t see the holidays as a fond memory. This time can cause stress and be difficult to get through. These people will produce chemicals such as cortisol and adrenaline, according to O’Kane.

Oftentimes, those who dread the holiday season are trying to overcome hardships, whether it’s dealing with issues such as grief, family disputes, and drug and/or alcohol abuse.

We may crave those Christmas memories

As humans, we recall memories through our five senses, with smell being the most prominent.

When we smell freshly baked cookies, it can take us to a time we spent making cookies with Grandma. Seeing twinkly lights helps us remember the time Dad almost fell off the ladder while trying to decorate the house. Touching an old ornament brings back the memory of making it with siblings. This is called sensory activation and is a leading reason why the holidays are highly anticipated.

Retailers play a big part in activating our senses. They understand how our minds work and want us to participate in the process.

“The next time you go to the department store and you look at the amount of effort into how displays are laid out, how lighting is done, how colors are used, how music is used in the background, all of it is used very cleverly to stimulate us,” O’Kane told USA TODAY.

The layout forces the consumer to feel the holiday vibe and urges them to buy gifts. This is just one of the tactics besides holiday deals to get people involved.

Colors also impact how we participate in the season.

“Red stimulates and energizes – even our spending. Waitresses wearing red receive 14 to 26% higher tips than waitresses wearing any other color uniform,” according to a Psychology Today article. “Green is an optimistic color associated with luck and wealth. It’s also been shown to have a positive effect on creativity. A possible explanation for some of the more unusual gifts found under the tree.”

So why not start celebrating now?

Dread, overstimulation and even disappointment keep people from wanting to participate in the holiday season.

A study on the Christmas blues shows that the holidays may increase stress before they start and could increase uneasy feelings afterward. There are a number of reasons this can happen, including finances, grief, loneliness, estrangement, or divorce or pleasing.

All of the expectations we set in the beginning of the season are far more exciting than the actual holiday, Howes told USA TODAY. But sometimes we are faced with disappointment if things didn’t go as planned.

O’Kane suggested we create a balance so we aren’t overwhelmed as the season approaches and aren’t disappointed at the end.

SO  WHICH  ARE  YOU ?
If you follow me at all over social media, you know I’m a big-never-stop-never-let-go-of-celebrating-Christmas.  Some would say, I’m a walking/talking/living
Christmas Card
But
with a purpose and a strong reason and a powerful meaning:
TO TAKE THE FEELING
TO HAVE THE KINDNESS
TO ALLOW THE SPECIALNESS OF THIS SEASON
to be a part of our
e  v e r y d a y s
(which is why I post a Christmas picture the 25th of each month so that we literally can
PRACTICE MERRY CHRISTMAS
So let the stories be read
let the stories be told
and most of all,
LET THEM BE WRITTEN AND RE-WRITTEN
in each of us as we celebrate in our own ways
and hopefully be the reason and a part of another’s
celebration
AND THEN THERE’S THIS:
Maybe the greatest gift you may be able to give during these upcoming days
is the greatest gift Another can receive:
T      O      L      E      R      A      N      C      E

 

AN OLD MESSAGE IN A NEW WAY

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W O W
60 years ago Paul Harvey originally aired
A LETTER FROM GOD
and admittedly so, it has been updated a little since those 60 years ago but there’s nothing like hearing an
OLD MESSAGE
IN A NEW WAY
and then again, who knows
if it was heard
THEN
any more than it’s heard
N O W
.           .           .maybe that’s an answer your dealing with right now, November 6, 2023 and maybe even more realizing
IT’S EASY LIVING IN WHAT WAS WORLD
without ever noticing
WHAT IS
or
WHAT CAN BE.                .                .
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Maybe that’s why it’s so tough not only hearing an
OLD MESSAGE
in a
NEW WAY
but
being different or
actually
L I V I N G 
I T
(Here’s a tip of the hat to Paul and an invitation hear in a new way an old message and to be better because of  it.  .  .)

H I N E N I

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It’s been a whirlwind all over the world in these past two weeks and it has the feel of not ending any time soon, and worse, ending well.            .            .

I’ve heard a lot of words over this time and I’ve said a lot of words and there’s one word that came to me when I was looking to hear it or say it but now feel the need to share it:

H               I               N               E               N               I 

It’s a Hebrew word that means:

HERE   I   AM
But here’s the thing about words, or in this case
A WORD.               .            .
They don’t mean anything
Said or Heard
until they are experienced
until they are Living Verbs.          .         .
I’ve had to ask of myself:
JUST HOW AM I SHOWING UP
(and how often?)

I’m wondering (and now hoping you’ll be a little wondering, too)  how am I saying, being HINENI to my family, my friends, my town, my state, my country, my world?  How am I saying HINENI in a way that shows others how much they matter and that I am here?  How am I answering THIS call?
It feels like we have lots of questions a few answers or is it really just this simple:
Why is the seemingly simple so complicated if not for my lack of 
HINENI
Now
is so much more than saying a Word
or even hearing one
Looking at an inspiring picture
Gawking at a-should-never-be-seen-horrific-scene
We are way past AGREEING with this one
and DISAGREEING with that one
N     O      W
in our own individual way
with our own individual skills
It’s time to be an authentic, living
H I N E N I
and to be it profoundly
to Each’s
O  T  H  E  R

 

I BELIEVE

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I first heard this song when it was only sung by Andrea Bocelli all the way back when BORDERS knew no borders; I stood there listening to it on their headphones that allowed you to hear songs/cd’s before you purchased; BRILLIANT but even more so, was that I stood there and listened and listened and listened and listened until I just bought the compilation cd for just this ONE SONG.           .        .

Ohhhhhhh that these words may now become a prayer that it may sooner than soon become an ANSWERED/REALIZED PRAYER

I Believe”
One day I’ll hear
The laugh of children
In a world where war has been banned

One day I’ll see
Men of all colors
Sharing words of love and devotion

Stand up and feel
The Holy Spirit
Find the power of your faith

Open your heart
To those who need you
In the name of love and devotion

Yes, I believe

I believe in the people
Of all nations
To join and to care
For love

I believe in a world
Where light will guide us
And giving our love
We’ll make heaven on earth

I believe in the people
Of all nations
To join and to care
For love

I believe in a world
Where light will guide us
And giving our love
We’ll make heaven on earth

Yes, I believe

I believe in the people
Of all nations
To join and to care
For love

I believe in a world
Where light will guide us
And giving our love
We’ll make heaven on earth

I believe

Ohhhhhhh that these words
may now become a Prayer
that it may sooner than soon
become an
ANSWERED/REALIZED PRAYER.           .         .
BE THIS PRAYER

THE COLOR OF YOUR FLAG

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SO JUST WHAT COLOR IS YOUR FLAG.        .        .         ?

IMG_2385.JPG
Everyone knows about
RED FLAGS
No one wants to know about
WHITE FLAGS
But maybe it’s the
GREEN FLAGS
we need to be seeking and flying.        .        .
I recently had this feed from Tashin Rose (no I don’t know her and have never remotely purposely or accidentally followed her) seemingly pop up on my feed and I don’t see those as
FLAGS TO IGNORE.         .         .
Maybe for just here, just now, you shouldn’t either.       .       .

What just screams
GREEN  FLAGS
about someone?

  • When they don’t hold grudges , communicate clearly and sort out things as soon as possible.
  • When they do anything and everything to make you feel loved.
  • When they understand your love language and try to make you feel loved in your way.
  • When they are honest and you don’t have to worry about their loyality for not even a second.
  • When they don’t make you feel insecure in any way.
  • When they include your name in room full of opportunities.
  • When they want to see your growth, your success and do anything possible to help you out in your way of success.
  • When they make you feel heard, seen and understood.
  • When they make effort to make the relationship better than yesterday.
  • When they give you time not only when their mood is to give but when you need them the most too.
  • When they respect you always and also no matter how bad the fight is they never disrespect you out of anger. They know how to control.
  • When they do mistakes and also accepts it and try to fix it.
What color Flag are you flying.          .          .            ?
RED
WHITE
GREEN
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
Color Blindness has nothing to do with it

AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO

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What would you do?
o  r
is it
WHAT DO YOU DO.          .          .          ?

It’s the First Lecture of a brand new semester.       .       .

The professor enters the lecture hall.  He looks around.     .     .

“You there in the 8th row. Can you tell me your name?”  he asks a student.

“My name is Sandra” says a voice.

The professor asks her, “Please leave my lecture hall. I don’t want to see you in my lecture.”

Everyone is quiet.  The student is irritated, slowly packs her things and stands up.

“Faster please” she is asked.

She doesn’t dare to say anything and leaves the lecture hall.

The professor keeps looking around.
The participants are scared.

“Why are there laws?”  he asks the group.

All quiet.  Everyone looks at the others.

“What are laws for?”  he asks again.

“Social order” is heard from a row

A student says “To protect a person’s personal rights.”

Another says “So that you can rely on the state.”

The professor is not satisfied.

“Justice” calls out a student.

The professor smiling.  She has his attention.

“Thank you very much. Did I behave unfairly towards your classmate earlier?”

Everyone nods.

“Indeed I did. Why didn’t anyone protest?

Why didn’t any of you try to stop me?

Why didn’t you want to prevent this injustice?” he asks.

Nobody answers.          .           .
THE SILENCE LITERALLY SHOUTS OUT A BLARING
W               H               Y  ?

“What you just learned you wouldn’t have understood in 1,000 hours of lectures if you hadn’t lived it. You didn’t say anything just because you weren’t affected yourself.  This attitude speaks against you and against life.  You think as long as it doesn’t concern you, it’s none of your business.  I’m telling you, if you don’t say anything today and don’t bring about justice, then one day you too will experience injustice and no one will stand before you.  Justice lives through us all.  We have to fight for it.”

“In life and at work, we often live next to each other instead of with each other. We console ourselves that the problems of others are none of our business. We go home and are glad that we were spared. But it’s also about standing up for others.  Every day an injustice happens in business, in sports or on the tram.  Relying on someone to sort it out is not enough. It is our duty to be there for others. Speaking for others when they cannot.           .         .

The difference is being a caring catalyst and
ACTING LIKE A CARING CATALYST
.            .            .which ONE are you

We’re all way past asking what would you do.           .           .
we are right here, right now, showing
WHAT DO YOU DO
(or.      .     .d o n ‘ t)

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man