In just a moment, we usually know right now and quick the difference between thinking really, really great things I mean, imagining the impossible versus doing just really simple things, good things: paying for a guy’s cup of coffee, paying for a couple that you look across the room and you see they’re sitting at the diner you’re in and you pay for their bill, or you see a little girl asking her daddy if she can have a doughnut and he said, Oh no, not today, honey, we don’t have the money,” but you go up to the cashier and you make sure that they do have the money or, or maybe it’s just a simple somebody popped into your head and you think about “wouldn’t it be nice not to buy him a big gift, but just to send them a card or a text to say, “HEY, you just popped in my head and I thought I’d send you a text just to see how you’re doing for no other reason than (the most power two words): JUST BECAUSE. . .It’s shameful and I’m not proud of it, but I do so many great things that I think about that I imagine in my head, that I never actually do, and if in fact, I did half the things that I thought about for the good of somebody else, I can’t imagine how much better the world would be or individual people.
“I thought it was a good idea at the time,” and then I didn’t act on it. So it’s not so much my New Year’s resolution as it is my Lifetime resolution: When somebody pops into my mind or when I wake up, thinking of them or when I see them I just wanna text them, or stop by, or send them a card let him know that I’m thinking of them; and if I just did that one thing, nothing more just that one thing, what a difference it might make not just in them, but just their simple day and their day-to-day routines to know that somebody thought about them and acted on itI don’t know if this will make a difference. I hope I am A Caring Catalyst enough to find out and more, inviting you along with me to find out, too.
Here’s your LICENSE to go a little past
THINKING
and
D O I N G
the next best thing. . .
CONFETTI THOUGHTS
SOME call it a lack of focus
SOME call it A D D
SOME call it daydreaming
SOME call it mind flutterings
SOME call it word salad
SOME call it mind confetti
SOME call it brain diarrhea
SOME just call
and here’s some of mine
which WARNING, WARNING, WARNING
may cause a few some of your
WHATEVER-YOU-CALL-IT’S
of your own:
Sometimes we have to dance to music we don’t even like
* * *
The edge of the sacred is a lot more closer to your center than you know
* * *
It’s not swimming or bathing just because you dipped your toe in the water
* * *
BELONGING: You’ll never be accepted if you’re not accepting
* * *
What makes you think it’s not temporary especially when it feels so permanent
* * *
There’s a thin line between sacred and sacrilege with a few misplaced letters
* * *
LANE STAYING: When you’re in it, you’re criticized, when you’re out of it, you’re crucified
* * *
Living in the ‘ISH’ while living with the ‘ISM’S’
* * *
How we see ourselves may be contorted and at the same time distinctly accurate
* * *
The Village in you is so much needed by the Village in another
* * *
When the terrible inevitable is there, so is your presence
* * *
IS THIS AN ACT OF LOVE is the only question needed in asking before proceeding with anything
* * *
When you fish with a worm of worry you’ll catch a whale of unnecessary pain
* * *
There’s a difference between education and learning–Know/Show it
* * *
Expectations are resentments waiting to happen
* * *
The worst kind of water walking is when you choose not to do it
* * *
LIGHT can always be squeezed from darkness, most of the time without much pressure
* * *
Living in the THEN instead of the NOW will never get you to the WHEN
* * *
If you’re going to look back, give yourself a better reason to look forward
* * *
It’s one thing to give life and another to add direction and meaning to it
* * *
The problem with RED FLAGS is all of us at times are color blind
* * *
We agree to disagree until we don’t
* * *
What I think is real, what I do is true
* * *
Live AS IF always
* * *
WHEW. . Right?
MIND DUMPINGS
which is quite a bit different than the normal
PHOTO DUMPS
after a vacation or a family gathering or. . .
Just the same, maybe this will all give you permission to have some
MIND DUMPINGS
of your own. . .
Let your
CONFETTI THOUGHTS
fly and flutter about
(and who knows, where they land they just might be the seeds sewn worth sprouting)
PHONE ZONE
THE PHONE ZONE
. . .hardly right?
Most don’t remember phones like this that sat on end tables or night stands securely wired to the wall and many more might be wondering, “HOW DO YOU TEXT WITH THIS THING?” or Google or TikTok or SnapChat or. . .
M A Y B E
Instead of Pulling Out Your Phone, Let Your Mind Wander. . .
Talk about
MIND BLOWING
When we’re waiting, we often have the urge to distract ourselves—but a new study finds we’d enjoy doing nothing but think.
If you commute on a bus or train, you’ve probably noticed that most people spend the ride looking at their cell phones. No doubt, they assume doing nothing but sit there would be boring, so they prefer distracting themselves. This squares with past research showing people will do almost anything to avoid boredom—even administer electric shocks to themselves.To

But results from new research suggest we should rethink that choice. We are probably underestimating how enjoyable and interesting it is to do nothing but pay attention to wherever our thoughts take us.
In a series of experiments, researchers brought Japanese university students into a lab and told them that they would soon be going into a room without their belongings to wait and do nothing but sit for 20 minutes. They were further instructed that, while waiting, they could think about anything they wanted to, but were not allowed to sleep, walk, or exercise; look at a smartphone; or consult a watch.
Before entering the room, they were asked to predict how much they’d enjoy waiting and thinking, how interesting or boring it would be, and how much it would engage them so that they’d lose track of time. Then, they went in the room to wait. Afterward, they reported how waiting actually felt—how engaging, pleasurable, interesting, or boring it was. (In some variations of the experiment, they waited in a dark room without any stimulation.)
Either way, researchers found that the participants were not good at predicting how much they’d enjoy doing nothing but think. Even in a dark room with no stimulation, they ended up being more engaged and interested than they’d anticipated.
“People don’t appreciate the real value of waiting/thinking,” says researcher Kou Murayama of the Motivation Science Lab at the University of Tübingen in Germany and coauthor of the study. “Once they engage in it, though, they appreciate it.”
To test this idea further, Murayama and his colleagues recruited another group of students and repeated the experiment. But first they asked students whether they’d rather have a 75% chance of being in a room without any stimulation or with a computer they could use to check the news. Not surprisingly, most students wanted the latter and predicted they’d enjoy waiting more if they had computer access.
Then, the researchers randomly assigned students to have a computer in the room or not and asked them to report afterward how the experience went. Despite predictions, there were no significant differences between those who waited with or without a computer; both groups liked the experience equally.
Why would this be? The students didn’t report on their actual thoughts, so it’s hard to know exactly where their minds went. But spontaneous thinking often involves mind-wandering, daydreaming, thinking about the future, or recollecting memories, all of which can have upsides. For example, daydreaming and mind-wandering have been found to improve our mood, creativity, goal-setting, and job performance (especially during a repetitive task). And thinking about the past in a nostalgic (rather than ruminative) way can make us happier and more resilient to stress.
Though it’s hard to know if these results with students would apply to the rest of us, Murayama did at least compare German students to Japanese students and found both groups underestimated the pleasure of waiting to a similar degree. This implies that it’s not necessarily a culturally-driven phenomenon, though more research would need to be done to verify that.
Overall, says Murayama, the results suggest we rethink whipping out our cell phones every time we are waiting or bored. Instead, we might benefit from having a moment to think freely about whatever catches our fancy—and enjoy ourselves just as much.
“If you find yourself checking mobile phones when there is nothing to do, try to take a moment to entertain yourself with thinking,” advises Murayama. “You may have new refreshing experiences that you did not expect.”
Can’t Stop FEELING

Sometimes I feel like a severe
S H A D O W
of myself;
I see myself clearly
I’m just not so sure if I
K N O W
what I’m seeing. . .
Have you felt like that
over this past year. . . ?

Does that statement help;
make things clearer
or does it just throw more mud in your eyes
and make them
more cloudy. . .
on the verge of literally
SHORT-CIRCUITING

MARKHAM HEID, a writer freelance writer wrote a piece six years ago
well before a year of battling a Pandemic
that talks about that
HAYWIRE FEELING
He tells us, when it comes to quelling stress, there are dozens of research-backed remedies. But the most effective treatment is always going to be the one you can stick with, says Dr. Lorenzo Cohen, director of the integrative medicine program at the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center.
“Managing stress is not like taking antibiotics, where you take all the medication and then you’re done and cured,” Cohen says. “It’s a lifelong process, so you have to find something you can engage in regularly and indefinitely.” Even if every stress expert agreed that daily meditation is the optimal form of treatment—and that kind of consensus isn’t farfetched—it wouldn’t do you much good unless you could muster the time and self-discipline to practice on a daily basis. For a lot of people, that’s never going to happen.
Fortunately, in terms of its therapeutic power, meditation may not require a quiet room—just a quiet mind. . .which means you have to ask the question,
DO I WANT SUCH A QUIET MIND?
When you’re stressed, your brain races from thought to thought, and these thoughts tend to be anxious and infused with dread, Cohen explains. Maybe you’re freaking out about a work deadline or a family member’s declining health. The most effective stress remedies disperse those rapid, worry-filled thoughts by focusing your mind on the present, not on some calamitous future, Cohen says.
Meditation is a popular stress remedy because it’s all about this kind of mind-anchoring. But if you’re able to achieve that calm, quiet state of mind while running or weeding your garden, then either will be beneficial. One 2015 study from Dutch researchers compared physical activity to mindfulness meditation, and found them to be equally effective at managing stress. Even washing dishes can alleviate anxiety—provided your attention is focused on the task at hand.
On the other hand, research shows your gym session or yoga practice won’t chill you out if your brain is preoccupied with work or family problems while you’re doing them. “They’re still healthy practices, they’re just not beneficial in terms of stress,” Cohen says.
So what’s your best course of action? First, check out mindfulness meditation. There’s compelling evidence to suggest it really is the antidote to our frenetic, future-focused way of life, Cohen says. Even if you don’t stick with it, the stuff you’ll learn can inform everything else you do—from preparing presentations at work to planting flowers in your garden.
At the same time, regular exercise bolsters your psychological health in myriad ways. “The ideal stress treatment would be to have both exercise and mindfulness on board in your life, not one or the other,” Cohen says.
A third weapon in your anti-stress arsenal is nature. Spending time on wooded trails or in other natural outdoor environments—any place away from man-built stuff like streets or buildings—appears to trigger an immediate drop in stress, says Tytti Pasanen of the University of Tampere in Finland. More research shows just looking at photos of nature is enough to mellow you out.
As you might expect, combining exercise with natural outdoor environments seems to be especially great at combating stress, Pasanen’s research shows. “I would advise regular physical activity in nature, on a weekly basis if possible,” she says.
Mindfulness practices. Exercise. Nature. Combine all three, and your stress won’t stand a chance.

SOMETIMES
I feel like a severe
s h a d o w
of myself
like my thoughts are not mine at all. . .
The Dalai Lama recently said,
“Scientists declare that it’s human nature to be compassionate. All living beings who experience feelings of pleasure and pain ultimately survive as a result of love and compassion. If we human beings help each other, serve each other, with compassion, we’ll be happy”
. . .I’m not sure if that’ll cause you to meditate
or even think much;
here’s hoping you can
F E E L
I T
Thinking what I THUNK
O V E R T H I N K I N G
often leads to
E X C E S S I V E
if not in fact
O B S E S S I V E
OVER FEELING. . .
Have you ever gotten THAT dreaded piece of mail
that tells you that you are to report to the Courthouse on such and such a date
OR ELSE. . .
When I first received it I made the call and begged off because of an already planned/paid for short vacation after Easter. . .
They told me that was completely understandable and that they would re-schedule me and I got yet another notice to appear
OR ELSE. . .
So fearing/respecting the
OR ELSE
I appeared this past Monday and after more than half of a day of reading a most awesome book
(YES, YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY READ THIS BOOK)
My name was called
(very poorly mispronounced)
I went up to the Courtroom with about 25 others and actually sat in the Juror’s box
(I was Proud Juror #6)
for a day and a half
and answered questions from the Judge, The Prosecutor and the Defense Lawyer, I thought quite thoroughly, intelligently and sincerely. I even added complimentary comments when the entire group was posed a question or a ‘what-if’ kind of scenario. . .
I had mixed feelings about even being a Juror just because of the time element and actually going to work at a job I like, enjoy, and hopefully enhance. . .
But now in the Box and hearing the compliments of how being a Juror was only second to serving our country in the military, and even further being complimented when I informed the Court that if this case were to carry over into the next week, I had made arrangements to change a previous speaking engagement.
I was asked by the Prosecutor about this blog, THE CARING CATALYST and what I was attempting to do by writing it three times a week and when I responded to hopefully make us not only more aware that we are a Caring/Compassionate lot but also how to become even more so for the good of others and even our own individual selves; he told me what a great venture and wished me luck. . .
And then at approximately 4:05 p.m. on Tuesday afternoon after dismissing at least 10 other jurors and questioning 10 others, he paused and said,
“Mr. Behrens, we appreciate you service and respectfully dismiss you at this time.”
WAIT. . .
WHAT. . .
You’re DISMISSING me. . .
M E?
I almost blurted, “There must be some mistake. . .”
Instead, I mumbled out, “The honor was mine, thank you for the opportunity.”
The Judge let me out his little back door, shook my hand, and expressed his personal thanks for being in a position where I might have taken care of some of his family and personal friends as a Chaplain at Hospice of the Western Reserve. . .
and then, like that, I was riding down the Elevator of shame back to the Juror’s Pool to be chosen and possibly rejected yet again, when I was met by a young man with a paisley bow tie who, too, thanked me for my time and let me know that my services would no longer be needed the rest of the week as he handed me my Juror’s Diploma
O U C H
Dissed twice in a matter of five minutes. . .
I was reeling as I took the walk to my $13.00 dollar a day parking lot where my car even seemed to hide from me in shame. . .
How. . .HOW COULD THIS BE?
Who. . .WHO WOULDN’T WANT ME ON THEIR JURY?
Was I too polite
Wat I overdressed (just wearing business casual while others jean and sweat pants it)
Was I too compassionate
Was I too empathetic
Was I too sympathetic
Was I too Caring
Was I too knowledgeable
Was I too opinionated
Was I too impartial
Was I too biased
Was I too unfeeling
Was I too INTO IT
WHAT. . .WHAT. . .W H A T ?
It’s true. . .
I didn’t want to go;
I didn’t want to be there
even as I drove there Monday morning
but when I was in that Box, I was
INVESTED
and then
DIS vested
I didn’t sleep good Tuesday night
I ranted to my poor co-workers on Wednesday at David Simpson Hospice House
and then after our long team meeting and Rounds
I do what I do best:
Visited Patients
and IT
shouted to me
this is why I am here
and not THERE
(THEN)
She asked me, “why am I afraid to die if I believe I’m going to heaven?”
He asked me, “if we all have to die, why can’t we all just die peacefully in our sleep without any struggles or terrible diseases.”
She asked me, “Will I see the face of Jesus?”
And it wasn’t so much what I said so much as that I was just
THERE
not at the Courthouse in a Juror’s box or a Juror’s waiting room but
T H E R E
not just with random patients, but
T H E S E
particular patients
to hear the questions and to not blink,not turn away, not judge, not decide, not to hypothesize, suppose, ruminate or theologize or ‘there, there‘ them. . .
but just to be there
holding space. . .
I can’t think
what I think
until I think
As I write this blog,
two days after being DISMISSED
I can think what I THUNK:
It’s a lie:
It’s not that it’s darkest before the dawn
Charlie Brown’s Teacher talk Wha wha wha whaaaaaaaing that brings us
peace
meaning
resolution
understanding
hope
so much as the fact that
there’s never been a dark night (of the Soul)
that’s lasted forever;
now. . .
that’s thinking
what’s been THUNK
but needs RE-THUNKING
t h a t
and the message that coursed itself through
T H A T
book, ORDINARY GRACES
which quoted Aeschylus in the beginning and then explained its meaning throughout the novel. . .
It’s a quote that is also on the tombstone of Robert F. Kennedy:
“AND EVEN IN OUR SLEEP PAIN THAT CANNOT FORGET, FALLS DROP BY DROP UPON THE HEART, AND IN OUR OWN DESPITE, AGAINST OUR WILL, COMES WISDOM TO US BY THE AWFUL GRACE OF GOD,”
Y e a h. . .
I’m thinking
what’s been thunk
needs re-thunking. . .
you?
T H I N K I N G
I was
T H I N K I N G. . .
You?
“IF YOU WAIT UNTIL YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING FOR EVERYBODY, INSTEAD OF SOMETHING FOR SOMEBODY, YOU’LL END UP DOING NOTHING FOR NOBODY.”
When I first saw this clip just filmed in New York City in February of this year, IT brought out the
C
in me…
Not my Compassion;
My Cynicism.
I immediately had flash backs of countless pieces of junk mail that I had received about how I could feed a hungry orphaned kid in a far away geographical place I can’t spell phonetically or begin to say, let alone place.
Or
The infomercials that wouldn’t tug but pillage my heart strings with kids who had flies all over them or maggots crawling out of their noses which were meant to implore I would send generously to alleviate this plight.
When I researched the video I was a little shocked to see that well over 22,0000
C H I L D R E N
are homeless in New York City alone.
Staggering
Bothersome
Alarming
all good adjectives and correct.
I guess, I just didn’t like it was a set up…
that it took well over two hours of NO ONE helping this kid who crawled in a not-so-well-insulated garbage bag to keep warm until a homeless man came over and offered more than his sympathetic compassion. He actually gave his coat and money for the freezing kid to eat.
M O R E. . .
He gave what so few of us
(AND I’M FIRST IN LINE)
Just the mere PRESENCE of himself–
which is always the most valuable thing we own and can ever give:
O U R S E L V E S !
I didn’t like that the film makers were a block away and came and not only praised the Homeless man
(Which was a powerful gift in itself)
but actually gave him well over $500 (perhaps a piece).
Here’s what I was THINKING:
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO MOVE US?
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO MOTIVATE US TO GIVE?
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO BRING AWARENESS TO AN OBVIOUS TRAGIC SITUATION?
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO SHOCK US TO ACTION?
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO SHAME US?
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO_______________________________________________?
Maybe that was the real purpose of the short 6 minute clip:
Not so much to make me Question
But to make me seek an ANSWER. . .
To actually make me feel disgust and then wrestle with why I actually FELT IT. . .
To T H I N K ?
You?
WHAT
DO
YOU
T H I N K ?