The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

MOST IMPORTANT

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I always wonder why some things POP UP from old files I’ve saved or buried or seemingly forgotten about.  This POST is O L D and yet it POPPED UP  and spoke to me, old as it may be with a timeless message.  Maybe it’s POPPING UP for you just at the right time NOW, too.            .            .

Possibly the Most important thing you’ll read this Year.      .      .or at least, RIGHT NOW:

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip (I TOLD YOU IT WAS OLD)

You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them. Just read it straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers.
They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies.
Awards tarnish …
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Easier?

The lesson:
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money … or the most awards. They simply are the ones who care the most.       .        .

GOOD POP UP.              .               .               ?

JUST A MOMENT: ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS

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So here’s the truth truth of all truths.          .          .

and you don’t even have to be modest about it:

You are all that in a bag of chips
.            .
Sometimes you feel like, “Oh yeah I’m a bag of chips alright, the one that doesn’t always come out of the vending machine or the one that sits in backseat because I don’t know that it’s there and I forgot about it or the one that sits in your junk corner covered up by Twinkies, Ginger Snaps and assorted sizes of tootsie roll pops and pretzels, all crunched up”

See,  know, you add something to someone even if it’s just your you-est of you of yourself.

Here is the truth of all truths; The fact of all facts

YOU ARE ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS
OWN IT
ACT LIKE IT
and while you’re at it, pass the chips.          .          .

THE NAMES

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Y      E       S
I could have posted this last Monday, September 9, two days BEFORE the 23rd anniversary of 9/11; or actually posted it on the actual anniversary date of Wednesday, September 11 this past Wednesday, but I am purposely posting it today, Monday, September 16 some 8, 406 days to prove the power of a NAME which one of my favorite poets, Billy Collins, who happened to be the United States Poet Laureate in 2001.

There is power in a name. When you say the name of a loved one, when you hear it, maybe at the gas station when you’re pumping gas or standing in the line waiting to be checked out; when you hear that name, when you say that name, you you don’t even remember, but in living, vivid color, you experience all the things that are embodied in that name. You experience them all over again as if somebody hits a DVR button inside of you and all these memories just don’t flood your mind, they actually come back to life.  That’s the power of a name.

Yes, 9/11 was last Wednesday, but here we are 23 years later, some 8,406 days ago; It’s not all those events between then and not but the power of it makes each of each of these loved ones lost, not lost at all, but found.  .  .It’s even more special and even more a sacred place so that in the words of Billy Collins, “SO MANY NAMES, THERE IS BARELY ROOM ON THE WALLS OF THE HEART” not so much remembered as right now, they are proven they have not been forgotten as we pause yet once again.       .       .        .

F R E T T E R S

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B                    U                   T.            .            .
WE
STILL
WORRY
which is why Mary Oliver most likely wrote:
“I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers flow in the right direction, will the earth turn as it was taught, and if not, how shall I correct it?
Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven, can I do better?
Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows can do it and I am, well, hopeless.
Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it, am I going to get rheumatism, lockjaw, dementia?
Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And gave it up. And took my old body and went out into the morning, and sang.”
~Mary Oliver, “I Worried,” (2010)
and still.       .       .
S     T     I     L     L
W  E
ARE CARD CARRYING MEMBERS OF THE
F.  O.  F.
(FELLOWSHIP OF FRETTERS)

I fret frets
They’re not Fears
past, present, future,
should’s, would’s, could’s 
or of all the ‘what-to-comes’
the strenuous decisions of what roads to take
avoid or completely ignored; unseen yet scarily crept upon
They’re just nameless frets for the silent communities of Fretters
who believe that the world’s rotation is based on the power of never-ending fretting
So, for the good of all of Humanity, We, the faithful Fretters will fret on for fear of fretting not.    .    .

F.O.F. (FELLOWSHIP OF FRETTERS)
Fretting for ANYTHING.  ANYBODY.  ANYTIME.  ANYHOW.
YOU’RE WELCOME TO JOIN
and most assuredly much more free
IF
YOU
DON’T
(especially on this Friday the 13th)

JUST A MOMENT: MORE THAN SOME NUMBERS

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It’s true that a lifetime can be lived in moments and they sure can be destroyed in just a moment as well.     .     .

So once again 23 years later now on September 9, 2023,
we remember and we honor all those whose lives have been changed
and/or taken in just a moment.           .            .

SEE.     .     .READ.      .      .PONDER.       .        .Once again:

The night before…….
On this day… 23 years ago 246 people went to sleep in preparation for their morning flights. 2,606 people went to sleep in preparation for work in the morning. 343 firefighters went to sleep in preparation for their morning shift. 60 police officers went to sleep in preparation for morning patrol. 8 paramedics went to sleep in preparation for the morning shift. None of them saw past 10:00am Sept 11, 2001. In one single moment life may never be the same. As you live and enjoy the breaths you take today and tonight before you go to sleep in preparation for your life tomorrow, kiss the ones you love, snuggle a little tighter, and never take one second of your life for granted. #AlwaysRemember #NeverForget #NYPD #FDNY #NYC  #ArmedForces #TheDayBefore.

IN JUST A MOMENT we powerfully find out that IT is more than some Numbers.    .   .WE are more than just a number and the POWER OF ONE when IT is about WE and US is most powerful indeed.        .       .I F.        .       .

9/11 by the Numbers
Death, destruction, charity, salvation, war, money, real estate, spouses, babies, and other September 11 statistics.

The initial numbers are indelible: 8:46 a.m. and 9:02 a.m. Time the burning towers stood: 56 minutes and 102 minutes. Time they took to fall: 12 seconds. From there, they ripple out.

See Also: The Encyclopedia of 9/11

 

  • Total number killed in attacks in New York: 2,753 
  • Number of firefighters and paramedics killed: 343 
  • Number of NYPD officers: 23 
  • Number of Port Authority police officers: 37 
  • Number of WTC companies in the towers that lost people: 128  
  • Number of employees who died in Tower One: 1,402 
  • Number of employees who died in Tower Two: 614 
  • Number of employees lost at Cantor Fitzgerald: 658 
  • Number of U.S. troops killed in Operation Enduring Freedom: 2,343 
  • Number of nations whose citizens were killed in attacks: 115 
  • Ratio of men to women who died: 3:1 
  • Age of the greatest number who died: between 35 and 39  
  • Bodies found “intact”: 291  
  • Remains found: 21,906 
  • Number of families who got no remains: 1,717 
  • Estimated units of blood donated to the New York Blood Center: 36,000 
  • Total units of donated blood actually used: 258 
  • Number of people who lost a spouse or partner in the attacks: 1,609 
  • Estimated number of children who lost a parent: 3,051 
  • Percentage of Americans who knew someone hurt or killed in the attacks: 20  
  • FDNY retirements, January–July 2001: 274 
  • FDNY retirements, January–July 2002: 661 
  • Number of firefighters on leave for respiratory problems by January 2002: 300 
  • Number of funerals attended by Rudy Giuliani in 2001: 200 
  • Number of FDNY vehicles destroyed: 98  
  • Tons of debris removed from site: 1.8 million  
  • Days fires continued to burn after the attack: 99 
  • Jobs lost in New York owing to the attacks: 146,100 
  • Days the New York Stock Exchange was closed: 6  
  • Point drop in the Dow Jones industrial average when the NYSE reopened: 684.81 
  • Days after 9/11 that the U.S. began bombing Afghanistan: 26 
  • Total number of civil rights complaints reported to the Council on American-Islamic Relations nationwide from 2002 to 2008: 12,962  
  • Economic loss to New York in month following the attacks: $105 billion 
  • Estimated cost of cleanup: $600 million 
  • Total FEMA money spent on the emergency: $970 million 
  • Estimated amount donated to 9/11 charities: $1.4 billion  
  • Estimated amount of insurance paid worldwide related to 9/11: $40.2 billion 
  • Estimated amount of money needed to overhaul lower-Manhattan subways: $7.5 billion 
  • Amount of money granted by U.S. government to overhaul lower-Manhattan subways: $4.55 billion  
  • Estimated amount of money raised for funds dedicated to NYPD and FDNY families: $500 million 
  • Percentage of total charity money raised going to FDNY and NYPD families: 25 
  • Average benefit already received by each FDNY and NYPD widow: $1 million 
  • Percentage increase in law-school applications from 2001 to 2002: 17.9 
  • Percentage increase in Peace Corps applications from 2001 to 2002: 40 
  • Percentage increase in CIA applications from 2001 to 2002: 50 
  • Number of songs Clear Channel Radio considered “inappropriate” to play after 9/11: 150 
  • Number of mentions of 9/11 at the 2002 Oscars: 26 
  • Apartments in lower Manhattan eligible for asbestos cleanup: 23,000 
  • Number of apartments whose residents have requested cleanup and testing: 4,167 
  • Number of Americans who changed their 2001 holiday-travel plans from plane to train or car: 1.4 million 
  • Estimated number of New Yorkers suffering from post-traumatic-stress disorder as a result of 9/11: 422,000Updated September 2014

     

    See Also: The Encyclopedia of 9/11

 

EASY TO SPELL: L-O-V-E

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L-O-V-E
John Legend

L-O-V-E, love
It’s easy to spell
 
And if you know it for yourself
Then everybody else
Well, they can tell
 
When L-O-V-E, love gets into your heart
It sparkles like a star
And everyone can see
How bright you are

Because love, love, love
Makes you feel better
 
Love, love, love
Keeps us together
 
Love, love, love
Warm like a sweater
 
Aren’t you glad to know that you’ve got
Love
 
L-O-V-E, love
It’s my favorite word
It sings out like a bird
The sweetest song I’ve heard
Sweeter than dessert
 
And L-O-V-E, love
It don’t cost a thing
It’s free for you and me
 
So you’ll give love
And I’ll give love
And we all can give our . . .
 
Refrain (& more!)

Can we celebrate L-O-V-E enough. 
I mean no matter how you spell it 
no matter how you find it. 
It’s how you experience it 
or maybe how you share it 
that makes the difference 
even now who would’ve ever thought that on September 9, 
you could celebrate Valentine’s Day 
when it’s not yet Valentine's Day 
when it’s so very much needed to be tap a foot
 or hum that tune 
reach out.          .         .
tell somebody that you love them 
that they’re appreciated 
and that they are the reason you’re smiling.           .          .
See~~L O V E 
it really is easy to spell 
and just as easy to share.         .         .

                     Give some Monday love

HOW’S YOUR DAY. . .OR:

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It really is more than a “Hey, how are you doing today,” kind of a question, isn’t it?  Most of the time when we ask that question we’re really not wanting and certainly not even expecting an answer. And.     .     .if we really want a different answer maybe we need to be asking a different question.          .           .Here’s another way to ask, “Hey, how are you doing?”  Or even, “Hey, how was your day?”

It’s a basic, boring question—and one said on repeat to your partner or your friends  each time you reconnect after a long day: “How was your day?” The response is usually, “Fine. Yours?” Then, “Fine.” And just like that, a question that’s meant to be an open-ended conversation starter becomes an intimacy dead end. So, how do you make catching up with each other more meaningful and relationship-affirming? To begin, you’re going to want to reframe your original question. Here’s why:

According to The Science of People, the “how was your day?” trap begins when this question becomes a logistical check-in as opposed to a chance to glean deeper details about your partner’s experience (who they are and how they’re changing as they navigate their life). Unless you pepper in a series of follow-ups, it almost always warrants a vague response or one-word answer.

The solution? Specificity. You want to choose a question that will force your partner to say something deeper or—at the very least—solicit more details from them about their emotional experience. The following questions are alternatives to the dreaded “how was your day?” and ones that encourage a combination of specificity, but more importantly vulnerability and openness.

Questions to Ask Instead of ‘How Was Your Day?’

  1. What was the best part of your day?
    2. Did anything surprise you today?
    3. Did you read/listen to anything interesting today?
    4. Did you take any photos today? What of?
    5. Was there any juicy office gossip from today?
    6. What did you do that was just for you today?
    7. What do you wish you did more of today?
    8. What do you wish you did less of today?
    9. What made you laugh today?
    10. Did anything make you feel frustrated today?
    11. Did you receive any good news today?
    12. How many cups of coffee did you have today?
    13. What are you most grateful for about your day?
    14. What was the best conversation you had today?
    15. Tell me three good things that happened to you today.
    16. What did you have for lunch today?
    17. What inspired you the most today?
    18. What is something you did today that you’d love to do every day?
    19. Did you do something kind for anyone today?
    20. If you could do any part of today over again, what would it be and why?
    21. When did you feel appreciated today?
    22. If you could guarantee one thing for tomorrow, what would it be?
    23. If your day turned into a movie, who would you cast?
    24. Will you remember any specific part of your day a year from now? Five years? How come?
    25. Aren’t you going to ask me about my day?

I got noodling some of  the alternatives and then I started thinking., “What would I want somebody to ask me or what can I ask somebody to get a different response; because I know it sounds simple, but sometimes different equals difference so how was your day?  See, there’s another way to ask, “How was your day,” and in fact, expect a different kind of an answer that may make a difference, not only for the one who asks it, but the one who answers it, and in either case, BE THAT ONE!

JUST A MOMENT: YOUR FLAVOR

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At the CENTER we are all the same.           .          .

It’s a really simple and tasty lesson. We learn no matter what flavor of a tootsie roll pop we choose,  the bottom line and the good news is AT THE CENTER.          .          .

We are all the same, now for some, it may take us a little bit longer to get to that center and for others (like me) we chop down quick to get past the crunchy crust before we even enjoy it.

Just like any piece of paper, no matter what the color is, the typed out message on it is still the same, and yet here we are spending literally millenniums trying to, well, trying to prove that that’s not the case while all the time it is.

What flavor are you? Are you bringing your flavorist flavor to each person that you meet and every situation you would encounter and every circumstance you happen to be a part of?

The Worst Job Ever

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Well.      .      .

what is it?

What’s   the

W      O      R      S      T               J      O      B  

 you’ve   ever   had?

Most of us have had more than

J U S T   O N E

J o b   in   our   lives.

I began working well before my 14th birthday.

I had to get

 “WORKING   PAPERS”

signed by my parents

so that I could work a part-time job behind our house.

Charlie was a pallet builder for shipping companies

and he needed a Laborer to haul wood,

shovel and sweep up sawdust

and burn piles of wood chips/scraps.

It was a hot job

and I hated being literally,

steps aways from my backyard

where my brothers and friends were doing what I wanted to be doing:

P          L          A          Y          I          N          G .     .     .

There were Golf Course jobs,

being a Roofer,

a waiter in a Pizza diner,

a Steelworker,

working as a clerk/stocker for grocery store,

A Cigar/Tobacco/Pipe Shop Keeper

a Gas Station Attendant,

Student Minister,

Minister,

Associate Minister,

Sr Minister,

Hospice Chaplain,

Part-time Minister,

Self Published Writer,

Professional Speaker,

Wedding

Baptism

and Funearl Officiant.        .        .       .

But do any of those jobs.        .        .

any of the jobs you ever had compare

to being the

Light    Bulb    Changer    in    a    Cobra    Cage ?

Ophiophagus hanna  is the largest/longest venomous snake in the world,

and it has enough venom to kill elephants,

buffaloes,

and oh yeah,

easily any  h u m a n.          .          .

S e r i o u s l y,

how much an hour,

how much a month,

would you need

to make
to do
t         h         i         s

as part of your routine duties?

Me?

Not all of the money in Thailand

and it’s four neighboring Countries.

There are some great jobs,

and there are some absolutely horrible jobs,–

All a matter of perspective,  huh?

There are some jobs we do for money,

lots of it,

and some we do for not any money at all.

It’s one of those little
UNKOWN      FACTS,

but statistically,

Labor Day is the second
to New Year’s
as the time when most people take time

to actually sit down

and try to GPS

out a fairly clear and even more compelling plan for their future.

The Ga-Zillion dollar question is:

W   I   L   L       Y  O  U     B  E     O  N  E      O  F      T  H  E  M ?

About  time  for  an  old  cliche:

IF   YOU   DON’T   KNOW   WHERE   YOU   ARE   GOING,   ANY   ROAD   WILL   TAKE   YOU   THERE!

What’s the Worst Job you have ever had?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.             .             .

Maybe the Worst job Ever

is   you   doing

W          H          A          T          E          V          E          R

your’e   doing   and   ultimately.       .       .

N  O  T       S  U  P  P  O  S  E       T  O       B  E       D  O  I  N  G !

OUR    WORK
ISN’T    WHAT    WE    DO
BUT    WHO    WE    ARE

Y     O     U
are the Job.       .       .

Y   O   U
are the Work

that needs to get

F  I  N  I  S  H  E  D !

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:

There’s no money in the world

—-all of it—-

that anyone could ever get
or give to do

T   H   A   T        J   O   B !

H  A  P  P  Y

(U N – )L A B O R     D A Y

DESTINATION OR DESIGNATION?

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The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognised as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save

Mary Oliver

Journeys are always important; they prove that we are more than mere push-pins on a map showing where we’ve been, where we are and maybe, where we’ve yet to be but are well on our ways.          .         .

Mary Oliver’s poem inspired this Caring Catalyst to do some noodling about what’s most important on my journey, the DESTINATION or the DESIGNATION especially on this Friday before Labor Day weekend, when we ponder our work and ourselves.             .               .        HENCE:

DESIGNATIONS

I haven’t always gotten all aboard
                                                       a train
                                                       a ship
                                                       a trolley car
                                                       a taxi
                                                       a plane
a merry-go-round-roller-coaster-ferris wheel
but I have journeyed
from so many destinations
to even more designations
the best being the ones not planned
and whether it feels like
I’ve traveled aimlessly
or at times not much at all
I’ve always arrived or been
exactly where I needed to be
especially without baggage or
any hefty leave-it-all-behind carry on’s

Always more than a a push pin on a map
of Somewhere’s
Destinations to Designations
define more than a place I’m at
     but more of who I am

 

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man