I was never
an academic all-star;
I most likely
was a classic undiagnosed ADHD
Kid who was often classified as a
“SMART KID WHO CAN’T SEEM TO STAY FOCUSED”
during parent/teacher conference
who excelled with
anything to do with
Reading
and nothing to do with
Math. . .
Who
was often writing poetry
and putting together lyrical phrases
that I wrote in the margins of books
or large lined notebooks
that made me look like
I was ferociously
taking notes. . .
I was often motivated to do well in school
so I could play sports
and not to embarrass my
school teaching, coaching dad
and school secretary mom
. . .but it always felt
foreign
distant
and far from a home
my heart beat to reside
UNLESS
I had
THOSE
teachers
who didn’t
look to grade
penmanship
sentence structure
or what I could recite back
after nights of intense memorization. . .
THOSE TEACHERS
that wanted a piece of my mind
and a part of my heart
by inspiring me
with theirs;
who challenged me to read
WHAT WASN’T
on the syllabus
but more in my dreams;
IT
was the one thing that shaped me then
and still drives me now
T H I S
EDUCATION OF THE HEART
which you never graduate
nor receive a degree
but something far
F A R
more important:
A DEEPLY MEANINGFUL LIFE
. . .PAY ATTENTION, CLASS
The Lectures have ended
but the Teaching
is in a never-ending
S E S S I O N
and it’ll not only assure
that your heart will beat differently
IT WILL GUARANTEE
you’ll cause other hearts
to be
forever significantly better
THIS
Education of the Heart
VISION
We are way beyond the
SURREAL
aren’t we. . . ?
For the last 7 weeks we have had it put upon us to do
The New,
N E W
and it’s done everything it can
to not just cripple us
but destroy us
by merely
SOCIALLY DISTANCING US. . .
Have you ever felt like you are just coasting through life and missing out on becoming the person you were destined to be
especially now in this
UN-Normal, NORMAL?
Or have you felt like you’re trying your hardest to live up to your greatest potential — to make a difference – to live out those dreams in your heart that seems now to forever be beating differently. . . ?
But something keeps getting in your way
Holding you back
Road blocking you. . .
This can be
DE- Couraging. . .
Somewhere along the way we might lose sight and motivation to pursue what really makes us happy. . .
we’re lighting our Candle
only to have it immediately
s n u f f e d
We might resign ourselves to being okay with just getting by in life
And worst
accepting that some people
get to live their dreams
as we get robbed of our
V I S I O N
Sometimes the weight of our daily lives can deter us
from taking the first step towards manifesting our heart’s desires
Towards living a life of abundance.
And towards truly living up to our greatest potential. . .
While that might sound pretty heavy – today’s video
isn’t. . .
I saw it years ago
but the perspective has all changed
and so has my
V I S I O N
I’ve lived them on this journey in being of service to you. Following our dreams doesn’t come easy. It comes with the price of hardship and challenge. . .
Fortunately, in just 380 seconds of this video you can learn what each and every truly successful person has done to elevate themselves from the hardships up to living their dreams. 🙂
Now here’s a tough question…
When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
The way we look at ourselves also reflects how we interpret life. The way we think about ourselves shapes how we respond to life.
No matter where we begin, the next step in our journey of living our dreams starts inside each and every one of us.
And what keeps us going when times get hard and it seems like our heart’s dreams are merely that. . .
just dreams?
W H Y
Dream only when you sleep
. . .If you’re only dreaming when you’re asleep
you’ll never have vision;
BE THE PRIMARY PROOF
of it. . .
F A M I L Y
It all felt differently yesterday,
didn’t it. . . >
Easter
in one way or another
all of my life was spelled
F A M I L Y
and yesterday,
well yesterday
many of us were
FAMILY-LESS
not at our fullest capacities. . .
Oh,
we talked on the phone
and Face Timed
but not seeing
not being with each other
because of our
PHYSICAL DISTANCING
was tough
especially when it came
to talking with my dad
who I haven’t seen in 4 weeks
because he’s been locked down
at a nursing home;
We’ve all heard it. . .
We’ve all probably said it. . .
We’ve all probably thought it more than ever hearing or saying it:
YOU CAN PICK YOUR NOSE
YOU CAN PICK YOUR FRIENDS
BUT YOU CAN’T PICK YOUR FAMILY
. . .can they pick you?
I remember when our kids were little
and not when they’ve grown older and have had kids of their own:
“You know there’s a legend, an ancient belief that babies actually choose their parents and also have a hand in the life they want to lead, especially in the lessons and challenges they need to face and learn from in their
life. . . .”
I sometimes reminded my kids of this when I wasn’t all that popular with them about decisions or consequences to some of the decisions they
made. . .
I’d remind them,
“HEY, REMEMBER, YOU CHOSE ME, YOU CHOSE US. . .”
The one thing they never have heard from me
nor ever will:
“YOU ARE NOT A PART OF THIS FAMILY!”
That would be kind of hard for me since as a
Father
Grandfather
Husband
Professional Speaker
Minister
Chaplain
Man
Person
HUMAN BEING
I’ve never seen myself as not
being a part of
F A M I L Y
YESTERDAY
It was most painfully apparent for all of us
wasn’t it?
The Take Away. . .
No matter what
No matter where
No matter how
No matter when
I AM NOT LEAVING THIS FAMILY
(stay with me)
Here’s to our
d i s t a n c i n g
reclaiming
us all
A Helpers Helper

We have to hit the rewind button on this
but even all the way back into the early 70s
I remember there was a product
which is still out there today
HAMBURGER HELPER. . .
The reason this was invented
and used
and still popular
is because it takes a little bit
and makes a whole lot;
it enhances. . .
In this upside-down-topsy-turvy-earth-literally-on-its-axis-time
we kind of need a helper
well. . .
to help
don’t we?
I’ve been working in healthcare since about 1988
as part-time chaplain at several area hospitals
and full-time now since 1994 with hospice. . .
I’ve always seen myself as an auxiliary
Helper
I, in no way
have ever seen myself as the main guy;
FRONT LINE
. . .In fact,
I’m almost embarrassed to say that I work in healthcare
when everybody’s getting free coffee
extra special shopping hours
and even free burritos
because they are
F R O N T L I N E
Even though I’m still working in an inpatient unit
and seeing patients and families
I, in no way,
see myself as a first responder
or as a helper
or even a Final,
a Last Responder
even though I’m still doing funerals and graveside services. . .
I have always first
and foremost
seen myself as a
Helper to the HELPER;
It literally has not already
defined my entire life
it is severely enhanced it. . .
Aren’t we all THAT:
H E L P E R S
Have we failed to notice
what is so recognizable before each of us. . . ?
Not only to be a Helper
but at the very least
H E L P E R S
to the Helpers
That’s what it means to
HOLD SPACE
That’s what it means
especially at this very moment
To not only be significant
but also to make some sense
out of why we are all really
here now at this very
i n s t a n t

I have never performed brain surgery
or mended together broken bones
. . .at the very best
I’ve held hands
and cared for broken hearts
held space for tired spirits
listened to what a heart shouts
but a mouth can’t ever imagine whispering;
I literally
have tried to be
all things to all people
not that I can save them
so much as serve them
not always as they deserved
but but always as they have needed. . .
To help bring some light to the darkness;
To be for them–
patient
family member
or first responder
final responder
what no one else
in that very instant
could ever be for them. . .
Now the not so big Secret:
We all have the capacity
To be Helpers
To Be Responders. . .
I have the upmost respect
not just for the medical doctors
not just for physician assistants
not just for nurse practitioners
not just for the nurses
not just for the social workers
not just for those most blessed health aides
but for all those who recognize
and see themselves as
Helpers to the Helpers. . .
Who isn’t THAT person?
A First
A Fair to Midland
A Middle of the Roader
A Near the Ender
A Final
R E S P O N D E R
. . .label me what you will
but for the sake
of us all
I hope to never be known as a
NON-RESPONDER. . .
THIS THING
we are all dealing with right now
is not by Chance
(no accident)
It’s the Beginning
of one of the possibly
Biggest-most-epic-world-wide-challenges
in our lives
so far
. . .or it isn’t
It’s time to be a
A RESPONDER
A HELPER
A HELPER’S HELPER
It’s time to play Nice
at a not-so-nice time. . .
Who will be?
Who won’t be?
WHO WILL YOU BE. . .

It’s time to be more than a
MASK WEARER
it’s now
O U R
T I M E
to be
HELP-BEARER

WORRIED

ARE YOU WORRIED ?
It’s a honest question
with all that’s been cancelled
and Changed over the past
few days. . .

So. . .
are you,
ARE YOU AFRAID?
My 401K account; my retirement funds have taken a severe hit over the past month. . .
Should I be worried?
My wife and I and a great many of my friends and family fits the profile of the most at-risk list for COVID-19. . .
Should I be worried?
Our global panic led three out of five groups yesterday to cancel planned speaking engagements for later these next two months. . . Should I be worried?
What about you? Was the past couple of days terrible for you? Are you having to face the prospect of suddenly home-schooling your kids? Canceling a trip? Losing sales? Letting go of several team members? Quarantining (or hospitalizing) a family member?
Should we be worried?
There are many ways to answer the question, but in the spirit of the “novel coronavirus,” let’s try a novel approach. . .

LET’S BRING LIGHT TO WICK
Back in the late 80’s
I was working as a part-time-on-call-chaplain
at an area hospital
(which meant that I worked from 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.)
and I remember
getting called in around 3:30 in the morning for a patient that was actively dying in ICU from AIDS;
he requested a chaplain
and when I arrived
I could see he was agitated and restless;
After introducing myself
I asked him the routine questions of
if he was in pain or uncomfortable;
When I asked him about family,
I could see him wince even before he said,
“I don’t have any family, they’ve disowned me.”
One simple Act:
I held his hand
I saw him look down at my hand holding his
and a tear rolled down the side of his cheek and he choked out,
“You’re the first person who’s touched me without gloves, a gown or a mask.”
His fingers squeezed mine and I squeezed back.
“Will you pray with me; I’m scared.”
I asked him what he wanted me to include in the prayer and he said,
“I don’t want to be afraid anymore; I don’t want to be sick; I don’t want my family to be ashamed of me anymore; I don’t want to go to Hell.”
Honestly. . .
I don’t remember verbatim what I prayed with him
but I know
it was the living prayer we became
for one Another
We lit each other’s
W I C K

AM I WORRIED?
I have had the blessing of working with the sick and dying
since 1977
in and out of the Church
hospital
nursing home
assisted living
home care
and in all of those years
and more,
all of those
P L A C E S
I have never been worried
about getting sick
from the sick
I sat with the family
of a former colleague who died today
and as I was providing opportunities for them to do
Life/Faith/Family we review
there were tears
there was laughter
but there was no mention
of COVID-19
like there was all around us from
Facebook, CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, Drudge Report, BBC, Instagram, Twitter, Apple, Google, Verizon, AT&T, the local news
but not from them;
I knew at that moment
what I’ve know from
Countless other Moments
that
THIS
is the
T H A T
that ever matters. . .
Naive?
The little kid in me
battles for my worries
but never when it comes to
this
T H A T
I’m not worried
and it’s the only
Light
that not only keeps my Candle lit,
It’s the only
thing that inspires me to share
IT

j o i n
me
The Amnesiac Poet

He stares
at his hand
and the pen
as it levitates
over a blank page
not just waiting for a word
but a rare polished gem
that’ll never be mined
only to be replaced
by some fool’s gold
d r o s s
unrefined
never to hold any value
meaning
sense
And he smiles
w i d e l y
as he sighs
without a breath
‘This is Poetry at its best’
YOUR BENCH (mark)
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
I don’t much care what you’re
looking at
SO MUCH
AS WHAT YOU
S E E

Out of all of the sights
and sounds
we’re bound to be
bombarded with
over the next few weeks
there’ll be none more important
than the ones you won’t so
much look at
or even
SEE
as much as the ones you’ll be able to
S H A R E. . .

The most important Bench that exists
isn’t the one we occupy;
IT IS THE ONE WE
S H A R E
with Another. . .

In this Season of
LIGHT and HOPE
there’s a certain
guaranteed
B R O K E N N E S S
mostly sitting right next to us
and the only one that can make a difference
is You. . .

You’ll never be called to
LIGHT THE WORLD
so much as just to
s i m p l y
share your glow. . .
So
take another
g a n d e r
glimpse
at what you didn’t see
but need view

WISH GRANTER
Q U E S T I O N:
What’s better,
To be a
Wish Granter
or to be a
Wish Receiver
A N S W E R:
BOTH
Remember the greatest wish you were ever able to grant. . .
Remember the greatest wish you were ever able to receive. . .
THE SECRET TO LIFE:
Remembering both
is one thing. . .
DOING BOTH
(often)
IS THE ONLY THING!
True
or
False. . .
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
You don’t pick the answer
so much as the way you live
SHOWS THE ANSWER
Wish Granter
Wish Receiver
SELFISHLY SELFLESS

I was recently
SELFISH ENOUGH
to read an article from Kristen Lee Ed.D.,LICSW in Psychology Today Magazine
Self-Care Isn’t Selfish or Superficial
Science shows that prevention is less costly than repair.

Self-care isn’t selfish or superficial, it’s backed by science to help us protect and sustain mental (healthSource: Shutterstock)
Self-care might at first strike one as another pop-psychology buzzword in this Age of Anxiety, when burnout is being called the “new normal.” But science reveals its critical nature.
Self-care is a regular, intentional process of devoting oneself to protecting and sustaining mental health. It is backed by science and not just feel good, self-indulgent sentiments.
The World Health Organization has declared a global mental health crisis and defined burnout as both an occupational risk and a workplace condition. Escalating pressure to do and be everything at work and at home are creating a context breeding exhaustion, overstimulation, and angst.article continues after advertisement
Most of us are operating with few margins in our lives. Respite, rest, and time off to just be seem like luxuries. Dr. Lee contends that in her clinical work, she often finds resistance to the suggestion of self-care. It can seem fluffy or self-serving, or unlikely to make an impact when stress is high. It can also feel unachievable in light of the enormous demands around every corner.
Self-care comes in different forms:
- Cognitive restructuring/reframing. Quieting the inner toxic critic; practicing self-compassion.
- Lifestyle medicine. Sleep, nutrition, hydration, exercise habits.
- Community. Spending time with loved ones; having a support system.
- Leisure and fun. Finding time to relax and take part in activities in which you get lost in time and space and can really enjoy the moment.
- Quiet space. A place away from distractions, screens, and duties.
The American Psychological Association has stated that we often don’t know that stress is negatively affecting our health until we get sick. In Dr. Lee’s research, she’s seen many examples of the vital nature of self-care as a protective factor toward resilience. She advocates for a “universal precautions” approach to well-being: Even if we think we are faring relatively well, prioritizing self-care is essential. Rather than waiting for red flags and wake-up calls, we can attend to ourselves in deliberate ways to sustain ourselves in an ever-increasingly pressured world.article continues after advertisement
Dr Lee believes we must all be hypervigilant when it comes to the cumulative effect that self-neglect can create. Self-care can help mitigate the consequences of our demands and roles.
Dr. Lee gives three considerations to make it a regular practice:
1. Small things make a difference. When we are busy, it’s easy to let self-care fall by the wayside. Or if we make too big a plan, we might give up if we can’t find the time and energy to see it through. Break rituals are activities that we embed into our day to help us stay calibrated and avoid mental overload. We can’t falsely promise ourselves that we’ll relax once something gets scratched off our lists, because in the meantime, 10 new things will pop up. Just as when we neglect ourselves there is a cumulative effect on our health, the same is true when we make a regular point to nourish our mind, body and souls.
2. Self-care comes in many shapes and sizes. There’s no one size-fits-all formula. Key activities include lifestyle medicine, creative pursuits, hobbies, time with loved ones, and positive mental dialogue. Science shows the tremendous value in all of these activities to protect and bolster mental health. Engage in a process of reflection (therapists, coaches and loved ones can be helpful in co-creating ideas) that helps you identify high impact activities that can be woven into your routines.article continues after advertisement
3. Self-care starts with giving yourself permission. Many of us are uncomfortable with the idea of taking time for ourselves. We are used to taking care of everyone else and it’s a big shift to actually focus on you. It feels counterintuitive. This can demonstrate your strong sense of values and pride in serving others, but it can also tie into a deeper martyr complex or sense of unworthiness. When we give ourselves the green light and understand that we are worth our own investment because we are important, we are more likely to maximize the benefits of self-care. You must give yourself permission to take care of yourself, and make sure you are taking break rituals everyday. Sustainability is everything: You are worth it.
Self-care isn’t selfish and it’s not superficial. It’s not just about taking me-time or mani-pedis or treat-yourself days. It’s about protecting your mental health and fostering sustainability. There is no one-size-fits-all, but the research gives us a lot of clues as to what can help sustain us. Lifestyle medicine, regular breaks, relationships are protective factors that help build resilience. Prevention is less costly than repair. We now have the science to show the positive effects on our health.
Pick one activity this week that you think will have high impact for you. Set a reminder on your phone and put it in your schedule like an important appointment. Keep track of your progress (your mood, energy, outlook, focus, etc). Find support to keep your momentum going and construct a strategic self-care plan to protect and bolster your well-being.
Sooooooooooooooooooo
just how SELFLESSLY SELFISH
are you willing to become. . .
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
whatever you
T H I N K
The Answer is–
DOUBLE
IT
(o f t e n)

WHAT ABOUT US
There’s a lot of
B R O K E N
Happily Ever After’s
O U T
T H E R E. . .

W E
D O N ‘ T
H A V E
T O
B E
T H E
A N S W E R
SO MUCH AS
WE
Just have to make sure
We’re not the
P R O B L E M
Hey,
WHAT ABOUT US. . . ?
H E Y
why not?
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