The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

ONLY TIME WILL TELL (TISSUES MAY BE REQUIRED)

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Only Time Will Tell By JJ Heller, David Heller and Andy Gullahorn

There’s not enough paper in this world There’s not enough ink to write it down No melody is sweet enough No metaphor is deep enough To describe the treasure I have found

I keep trying to tell you how I feel But I always come up short How beautiful you are to me But there aren’t enough words I keep trying to write a love song But it’s hard to say it well Love is a story that only time will tell

It’s one thing to say “for better or worse” And another when you find out what that means So much happens over time Some dreams come true and some will die How do you describe that kind of thing

I keep trying to tell you how I feel But I always come up short How beautiful you are to me But there aren’t enough words I keep trying to write a love song But it’s hard to say it well Love is a story that only time will tell

I’ve searched libraries And dictionaries Studied poets Still all I know is

I keep trying to tell you how I feel But I always come up short How beautiful you are to me But there aren’t enough words I keep trying to write a love song But it’s hard to say it well Love is a story that only time will tell Love is a story that only time will tell

PRETTY POWERFUL, STUFFS, huh, but not quite as powerful as the LOVE that’s shown here.  J J Heller, is an artist I’ve loved for a long time because the music that she and her husband, Dave create often create something in us, or at least shines a light on what’s been created and now needs some special noticing.

J J goes on to share, even more personally:

This video gets me every single time.

When we’re young we make vows imagining an easy and wonderful future. We say “for better or worse” even though we don’t know what lies ahead. We promise to be faithful, supportive and true no matter what. 

Making these promises is indeed an act of love, but living out this love in hospitals, worse-case diagnoses and late-night bouts with pain.. that’s a love on another level. A deeper, expanded love.

With that said, this beautiful video is dedicated to those fighting through intense physical challenges, and to those who love them fiercely and relentlessly.

A huge thank you to this brave couple who has allowed us to share part of their story with the world in hopes it will bring healing and encouragement.

And another giant thank you to Joy Prouty for capturing this sacred footage, both of their labor and delivery several years ago, and also of the recovery from a double mastectomy mere weeks ago. 

And thanks to Dave Heller and Andy Gullahorn for writing this beautiful song with me.

Love is a story that only time will tell. 🧡

Just one Question:

WHAT
OF 
YOUR 
L O V E.          .          .          ?

THE UN-CONFUSED THERMOMETER

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The Seven of Pentacles–Marge Piercy

Under a sky the color of pea soup
she is looking at her work growing away there
actively, thickly like grapevines or pole beans
as things grow in the real world, slowly enough.
If you tend them properly, if you mulch, if you water,
if you provide birds that eat insects a home and winter food,
if the sun shines and you pick off caterpillars,
if the praying mantis comes and the lady bugs and the bees,
then the plants flourish, but at their own internal clock.
Connections are made slowly, sometimes they grow underground.
You cannot tell always by looking what is happening.
More than half a tree is spread out in the soil under your feet.
Penetrate quietly as the earthworm that blows no trumpet.
Fight persistently as the creeper that brings down the tree.
Spread like the squash plant that overruns the garden.
Gnaw in the dark and use the sun to make sugar.
Weave real connections, create real nodes, build real houses.
Live a life you can endure: make love that is loving.
Keep tangling and interweaving and taking more in,
a thicket and bramble wilderness to the outside but to us
interconnected with rabbit runs and burrows and lairs.
Live as if you liked yourself, and it may happen:
reach out, keep reaching out, keep bringing in.
This is how we are going to live for a long time: not always,
for every gardener knows that after the digging, after
the planting,
after the long season of tending and growth, the harvest comes.

I came across this nice Spring Time poem as the weather forecaster is telling us that snow and wintry weather is about to descend down upon us
IN  MARCH
(uhhhhhhh just 10 days away from Spring)
which is enough to make any Thermometer
(AND US)
be a little more than confused

THE UN-CONFUSED THERMOMETER 

Sometimes a Place 
can have all four Seasons
in one day
that’ll schizophrenically 
have you guessing how to dress
so you’re not shivering or sweating
at any unknowingly moment
confusing the most sophisticated
of Thermometers  
And yet you meet 
THAT Heart
that’ll have you begging
for the harshest of Winter’s Terriblesnesses
so IT could forever be Warmed
Now any Caring Catalyst
S            H            O            W            S 
that it’s not the Season we’re in
we dress for
but the Season we bring
to the worst
t e m p e r a t u r e s
a confused Thermometer
can ever read.    .    .

 

A VILLAGE

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Yes. . .
A Village it does take
To Be
Joy to the weary
Music to the heart
Health to the sick
Wealth to the poor
Food to the hungry
Home to the wanderer
Jubilation to the jaded
A Piece of Peace
A Village it does take
and sometimes it does take
THAT VILLAGE
One in All to ALL
. . .If you a Village
will be
Join me
my Caring Catalyst
V I L L A G E R

MASKERS

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Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it might be
March 1 but
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
WITH OR WITHOUT A MASK
we still might well be masquerading around
with who we think we are
but know we aren’t.     .     .
Isn’t that what the Pandemic did to us
just about three years ago
and even now we’re still
TO MASK
or not
TO MASK
asking around and wondering.     .     .
but now there may be a whole other
m      e      a      n      i      n      g

People Who Think They’re Attractive

Are Less Likely to Wear Masks,

Study Says

People wearing masks in Bordeaux, France on Aug. 15, 2020.
Mehdi Fedouach/AFP—Getty Images
Jamie Ducharme, from Time Magazine recently reported, there are plenty of factors that determine whether someone chooses to wear a mask at this stage of the pandemic: their health, their risk tolerance, where they are, who’s around them—and, according to a recent study, how attractive they think they are.The study, which was published in January in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, found that people who think they’re attractive tend to be disinclined to wear masks. That seems to be because people who think they’re good-looking don’t believe masks enhance their appearance, while the opposite may be true for people who don’t think they’re as attractive, the researchers concluded. (Several cultures even have slang terms for people who wear masks to look better or conceal their full faces, the authors note. In the U.S., it’s known as “mask fishing.”)

For the study, a team of researchers in South Korea recruited U.S. adults to take several surveys. In the first, 244 people answered questions about their self-perceived attractiveness and how they thought wearing a mask affected their appearance. Then, researchers told the participants to imagine they had a job interview and asked whether they would wear a mask in the interview if they didn’t have to.

“Individuals with higher self-perceived attractiveness were less likely to endorse the belief that mask-wearing enhances their perceived attractiveness, which further dampened their mask-wearing intention in job interviews,” the authors write. In other words, people who thought they were good-looking didn’t want to detract from their appearance by covering their face.

In another experiment, the researchers posed similar questions about masks and appearance to 442 people. They asked half the group to imagine they had a job interview (a relatively high-stakes situation) while the other half imagined they were walking a dog (a more mundane activity). Both groups were then asked if they would choose to wear a mask in their given scenario.

They found that people were more likely to say they’d wear a mask if they thought it would make them look better, and that trend was more apparent in the high-stakes job interview scenario. This finding, the authors write, suggests that people’s masking decisions are at least partially based on how much they care about looking good in a given situation.

The desire to appear attractive may even be as influential as the desire to stay healthy. In their surveys, the authors also asked people how much they feared COVID-19. People who thought masks made them look better were roughly as likely to cover up as those who were fearful of the virus.

With COVID-19 mask mandates largely a thing of the past in the U.S., it’s important for researchers and public-health authorities to know why people are—or are not—continuing to wear them. Preventing disease is, of course, a major motivator. But so, it appears, is looking good.

SURPRISED.          .           .          ?
And maybe the biggest question
and you can answer honestly
because we are not holding or posting a poll here
(unless you want to reply this blog post)
IS HOW DO YOU ANSWER THE QUESTIONS THE SURVEYS ASKED.     .     .

S       E       E
HALLOWEEN
EVERY
DAY
(maybe with more tricks than treats)

 

NEIGHBOR

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Neighbor By JJ Heller, David Heller, and Andy Gullahorn

Sometimes it’s easier to jump to conclusions Than walk across the street It’s like I’d rather fill the blanks with illusions Than take the time to see

You are trying to close the back door of your car You are balancing the groceries and a baby in your arms You are more than just a sign in your front yard You are my neighbor

I can get so lost in the mission Of defending what I think I’ve been surfing on a sea of opinions But just behind the screen

You are grateful that the work day’s finally done You are stuck in miles of traffic, looking at your phone You are tryin’ to feel a little less alone You are my neighbor

When the chasm between us feels so wide That it’s hard to imagine the other side But we don’t have to see things eye to eye For me to love you like you are my neighbor My neighbor

Oh, to fear the unfamiliar Is the easy way to go But I believe we are connected more than we might ever know

There’s a light that shines on both the rich and poor Looks beyond where we came from and who we voted for ‘Till I can’t see a stranger anymore I see my neighbor May my heart be an open door to my neighbor You are my neighbor

S O M E T I M E S
Music is more than MUSIC
and Words are more than
W          O           R           D          S

From the beginning of time the question has rung out,
sometimes louder than softer:
JUST WHO IS MY NEIGHBOR?
No matter what you say, You
SHOW THE ANSWER,
Person by Person,
Neighbor by Neighbor…
with this certainty:
It  just isn’t the person next door or across the street…
SO JUST WHO IS
YOUR NEIGHBOR.          .          .          ?

GONE FISHING

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Sometimes the greatest
F I S H
caught are the ones
you never put a line in the water
to catch.          .          .
In fact,
those fish swim everywhere
in, out, through your imagination
for the greatest tales ever.  .   .
When this not-not-so-small-minnow
jumped into my boat
I wasn’t ‘fishing’ for it but
it caught me way before I even thought of reeling it in.       .      .
It birthed
almost immediately these
poetic thoughts:

FIRST TIMES

I don’t remember
the first time
I sucked a lemon
but I’m sure it
prepared me for the
second time
I knowingly wouldn’t
suck up to pucker up
again.  .  .
Candle flame burns
Electrical outlet shocks
Black ice falls
Hit the thumb instead of the nail hammerings
Hot pans on hotter stoves
Stumbles off of shaky branches
All First Times
that make a 
Second Time
not so much a lesson learned
as one to be remembered
to ever be taught
again.   .   .

LEVEL UP

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https://youtu.be/5048ewoxZlQ

N O
I didn’t lose my mind; this is the the video I posted on this past Monday’s blog and as A Caring Catalyst but also a real, live CHANGE MAKER.     .     .

This hairstylist had a job he was paid to do.        .        .

Beyond the job, he had the same options every other cause-driven compassionate human being has for comforting someone who is struggling.

Maybe think of these options as “Levels of Sacrificial Giving.” Each level requires a bit more sacrifice on the part of the giver, thereby imbuing the act with an increasing measure of beauty.

LEVEL 1: WORDS
Saying something genuine to affirm the sufferer’s enduring worth.

LEVEL 2: UTILITY
Supplying helpful goods, services, or money for the sufferer’s use.

LEVEL 3: TOUCH
A tender gesture to inhabit the same physical space as the sufferer.

LEVEL 4: TRANSFER
A permanent exchange from giver to sufferer (e.g., organ donation).

LEVEL 5: CO-SUFFERING
Voluntarily joining the sufferer to share the experience of their pain.

This hairstylist is a Level 5 Giver.

It begs the simple question:
ARE YOU A LEVEL FIVE GIVER

I’ve come to learn that no ironclad argument exists for convincing someone that Level 5 Giving is worthwhile or even rational.

The beauty of an act of Level 5 Giving either pierces you in a life-changing way or it doesn’t.

My hope for you and me is that this act, or another like it, so pierces us that we level up our giving in a world that is groaning louder and louder for it every day.      .     .

JOIN ME
Lets LEVEL UP
always to a better way.     .     .

A DEEPER “I’M SORRY”

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“I’M SORRY”
See, that wasn’t so hard was it
B               U               T
Did you mean it.         .          .
Did they feel it.     .     .
DID THEY BELIEVE IT.          .           .           ?

Do you use these words

when you apologze?

It’s time to stop, researchers say

There’s something very powerful about receiving or giving a heartfelt, genuine apology.

Bad apologies, on the other hand, can be disastrous and lead to more hurt.

The new book, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies, draws from a broad range of research to explain the power of apologies, why we don’t always get good ones, and the best way to tell someone you’re sorry.

Co-authors Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy break down the six (and a half) steps to great apologies. They are:

  1. Say you’re sorry. Not that you “regret,” not that you are “devastated.” Say you’re “sorry.”
  2. Say what it is that you’re apologizing for. Be specific.
  3. Show you understand why it was bad, take ownership, and show that you understand why you caused hurt.
  4. Don’t make excuses.
  5. Say why it won’t happen again. What steps are you taking?
  6. If it’s relevant, make reparations: “I’m going to pay for the dry cleaning. Just send the bill to me. I’m going to do my best to fix what I did.”

“These six steps are relevant for adults, for children, for corporations, for institutions, for governments,” Ingall said. “And six-and-a-half is ‘listen.’ People want to be heard, and don’t jump over them. Let the person that you hurt have their say.”

Ingall said saying the word “sorry” may seem obvious, but it didn’t always happen. Instead, people say things like they’re “regretful,” and this isn’t the same thing.

“Regret is about how I feel,” Ingall said. “We’re all regretful. ‘Sorry’ is about how the other person feels. And when you apologize, you have to keep the other person’s feelings at top of mind.”

Then there are the words not to say during an apology.

Ingall points to words like “obviously” (“If it was obvious, you wouldn’t have to say it”) and “already” (“‘I’ve already apologized’ is a thing we hear a lot”), and the qualifiers like “sorry if…” and “sorry but…” and “I didn’t meant to.”

“Intent is far less important than impact when it comes to apologies,” Ingall said.

McCarthy adds that a bad apology can even make things worse.

“It’s akin to the cover-up being worse than a crime, if you make an apology that says, you know, ‘You shouldn’t even have a white sofa,’ or, ‘You shouldn’t have been standing there,'” she said.

On the other hand, a great — even late — apology can have tremendous healing power, the authors say.

“I received a letter years after a breakup from a boyfriend,” Ingall said. “And he just said, ‘I wanted you to know I’m getting married. And I’m aware that I was often not a good boyfriend. And I want you to know that I was listening, even when it didn’t seem like I wasn’t listening. And I’m going to be a better husband because of our relationship.'”

So.            .             .when’s the last time you apologized.        .        .         ?

How did that go for you?

Is it worth showing up and maybe saying
maybe SHOWING it in another way.          .          .
I’m Sorry.       .       .
maybe it’s worth another try in another way just to make sure your
“I’M SORRY
goes a little bit
d
e
e
p
e
r
.
.
.
.

CHANGEMAKING

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https://youtu.be/5048ewoxZlQ

C H A N G E M A K I N G

.          .          .isn’t always about launching and scaling new ventures and initiatives. Sometimes it’s about turning an everyday moment into a moment of positive change.  These are opportunities that we can’t plan for, but that when they appear, give us a chance to step up, take action, and change someone’s life. Some call that microleadership.         .         .I merely call it CHANGEMAKING or better, LIFECHANGING and the best part about THAT is everyone of us is capable of making IT happen at any time with anyone.       .       .This video is a moving example of how we all can have impact, anywhere.

Watch this barber shave off his own hair in unity with a cancer patient shaving hers and see how these small acts can add up to huge impact and then go and DUPLICATE IT as often as you can, everywhere you can, with whoever you can.   .   .

Being a CHANGEMAKER is being A Caring Catalyst on steroids
K   I   C   K
I  T
U     P

SNOW MAN LOVE

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Sometimes a song is much more than notes
and lyrics are much more than words.          .         .

Don’t cry snowman, not in front of me Who will catch your tears if you can’t catch me, darlin’? If you can’t catch me, darlin’? Don’t cry, snowman, don’t leave me this way A puddle of water can’t hold me close, baby Can’t hold me close, baby

I want you to know that I’m never leaving Cause I’m Mrs. Snow, ’till death we’ll be freezing Yeah, you are my home, my home for all seasons So come on let’s go Let’s go below zero and hide from the sun I’ll love you forever where we’ll have some fun Yes, let’s hit the North Pole and live happily Please don’t cry no tears now, it’s Christmas baby

My snowman and me My snowman and me Baby

Don’t cry, snowman, don’t you fear the sun Who’ll carry me without legs to run, honey? Without legs to run, honey? Don’t cry, snowman, don’t you shed a tear Who’ll hear my secrets if you don’t have ears, baby? If you don’t have ears, baby?

I want you to know that I’m never leaving ‘Cause I’m Mrs. Snow, ’till death we’ll be freezing Yeah, you are my home, my home for all seasons So come on let’s go Let’s go below zero and hide from the sun I’ll love you forever where we’ll have some fun Yes, let’s hit the North Pole and live happily Please don’t cry no tears now, it’s Christmas baby

My snowman and me My snowman and me Baby

Notes: I don’t own anything. All credits goes to Sia and the company Cineplex which created this animation. Please support Sia. 🙂 Don’t forget to check them: http://www.cineplex.com/ http://www.youtube.com/siavevo/


Sometimes a song is much more than notes
and lyrics are much more than words.          .         .

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE THEM

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man