The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

BROKEN BUT NOT SHATTERED

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Have you ever needed something

And never knew it

Until you got it?

We both parked at the same time

We both got out of our cars at the same time

We both walked up towards the building at the same time

I hadn’t seen her in years

 .          .          .I didn’t even know she still was with the agency

And  THERE  she  was.          .          .

Tearful,

Heart-heavy-burdened down

Not just with her computer and nursing bag

Wheeling behind her

Tears

We stopped and hugged

Right there in a middle of

A        M O M E N T

There she was

There I was

Unplanned

Unscripted

Yet perfectly scene’d

In a backdrop of a cloudy sky

That dropped over the Lake

B R U I S E D

B E A T EN

From a storm

Far away

And yet not quite here,

Y        e        t

And the Best news of all—

S           H           E           L           T           E           R

Secured

Safe

Comforting

Assuring

Was in place

And like most times—

Not just seen

Not just recognized

Not just experienced

Until the most absolute

m        o        m        e        n        t

Looking back.          .          .

R e f l e c t I n g

(without a mirror)

I’m   a   little   offended   now

G a l l e d

That she felt/believed

I  was  actually  there  for  her.     .     .

For  her  vulnerability

For  her  tears

For her undressed,

fully naked,

stripped down,

Exposed honesty

And truth.   . .

Which SHOWED ME

What  I  so-

All-the-time-behind-the-curtain-triple-locked-door-of-my-heart

Never-always-so-guarded-very-afraid-FEAR-to-show

.         .         .W  H O was there for W H O.         .         .

At this early

So very CHANCE

(NOT-AN-ACCIDENT)

Maybe-to-never-happen-again-ever-the-same-way-

M      O      M      E      N      T ?

Me for her?

Her for me?

The simple answer is a resounding

Y                 E                 S

As we hugged

Right there

Right then

I realized that what’s Broken

Seldom  is  S H A T T E R E D.         .         .

That often

Maybe more usual than we notice

We get tired

We get disappointed

We’re disillusioned

That

Caring

Compassion

Loving

Giving

Sharing

Accepting

Forgiving

Will get you hurt

.        .       .hurt really bad

Make you wounded

Get you bloodied

E M P T I E D

D E P L E T E D

E X H A U S T E D

.         .         .it’s a paycheck

Not deposited

When needed/expected

An Emotional Withdrawal

That can only be replenished with:

G O      F I G U R E :

Caring

Compassion

Loving

Giving

Sharing

Accepting

Forgiving

Hey.       .       .

Have   you   ever   needed   something

And   never   knew   it   until

You   G O T   I T ?

G E T   I T

and oh my.          .          .

how the clouds part

The Real Birthday

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C     U     T     E

isn’t always the way to
C          E          L          E          B          R          A          T          E

A     R E A L     B I R T H D A Y

images-3

L       I       F       E   

isn’t   about   a   number   of    Candles

on   a   quick-to-go-stale

Birthday  Cake.       .       . 

.       .       .Maybe the best part of old age for anyone is that they can actually

A   T   T   A   I   N            I    T

There are Givens:

Death   is   the   Number   One   Killer   in   the   World.       .       .

Life   is   a   Terminal   Sexually   Transmitted.       .       .

and   it   ENDS.         .         .

just not as well as we’d like.       .       .

Great Health, it turns out, is merely the slowest possible rate at which anyone can ever die.      .      .

But.         .         .

After some 23,276.57 Days on this spinning blue ball

552187 hours

33,131,232 minutes

198,787,398 seconds,

I’ve learned a few lessons.         .         .

and the biggest one:

There’s    just    a    few    more    lessons    to    learn.       .       .

There was a recent survey taken in the UK that said the biggest fears men have growing older are:

94% fear going bald

89% fear becoming impotent

75% are worried about going grey

64% are scared of getting fat

61% fear losing their teeth

45% dread needing  ‘jam jar’ glasses

31% are scared of going deaf

24% are frightened of getting bad breath

100% of me is concerned that I wasted time.        .        .

that somehow,

I didn’t become all of  M  E 

I regret little of what I’ve ever done.      .      .

even the not-so-good-kind-of-horrific-things

because they’ve all made up the tapestry of my life–especially the dark, ugly colors;

It’s the strands of threads that I didn’t allow to become a part of the mosaic.        .        .

to expand it

that taunts me.

It’s not the two-self published books,

it’s the yet-to-be published two novels,

five Children’s books,

three non-fiction books

and the yet to be written ones

that fill stacks of notebooks and overflowing file folders.      .      .      .

I have no interest in spewing out the   63  greatest things I’ve learned in my

 6 3  years.    .    .

I do believe that

R   e   l   a   t   i   o   n   s   h   i   p   s,   

not technology or medical advances,

Heals  me.      .      .

I do believe that   LOVE   is the greatest force in and out of this World

and when applied frequently and liberally  YOU  not only Change.      .      .

The Universe does, too.          .          .

I do believe that the secret to long life is simply never to let your heart stop beating     or never passing up the opportunity of making Another’s beat better.      .      .

I do believe that

Life is not counted by pages on a calendar or minutes/seconds on a clock or candles on a cake.      .      .but

M      O      M      E      N      T      S

that can never be counted, calculated, measured or harnessed.       .       .

o n l y    r e m e m b e r e d

way past a pulse, a heart beat, a breath

or any other means of defining Life that can’t be definite.      .      .      .

B     I     R     T     H     D     A     Y     S
are never what they’re cranked up to be
no matter how many you continue to collect
none of them mean a thing
until you make everyday between them mean
 E     V     E     R     Y     T     H     I     N     G

So.       .       .about that cake.       .       .

I’ll pass.          .           .

but  WOW.       .       .

that piece of Pecan Pie is looking mighty, mighty

f   i   n   e !

Join me.       .       .we’ll call it a

Party.        .          .a never-ending Celebration

.         .         .Candles are optional

The   Light   is   Blinding

(But, don’t Blink)

The Power of TWO CENTS

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It wasn’t the first time.     .     .

but it might’ve been one of the most memorable;

Each year in May

Lake Erie Harley Davidson

has a bike blessing.        .       .

It took place this past Saturday and although the crowd wasn’t overwhelming we had two types of blessings.      .     .

The first place around 8:45 in the morning for a group of women who were getting ready to make a journey together and I blessed about 20 bikes and their riders.           .          .

Pancakes and coffee were being served and about 11 o’clock I was able to bless about a 80 more bikes and their riders

and a little girl and her helmet.         .          .

A cross that was given to a man by a son who died

A Rosary

A dog named, Mr Hanks

As we began I gave a short little meditation talking about how life really isn’t so much a destination as it is a journey and our best adventures are those trips that have no GPS and take us to places we never even planned or dreamed but arrived with stories to share, anyway.         .        .

I told them as I was going to come to each of their bikes and give them

MY    T W O     C E N T S.          .          .

literally:

I had a Baptismal Fount that I had filled with pennies and I reminded them that as much as I was going to give them my two cents they would understand that by receiving these two-not-so-priceless-pennies of their own choosing,

it would serve as a gentle reminder THEY WOULD NEVER BE PENNILESS and to always keep THEIR  C E N T S (sense) about them in a world, where on the road, so many others often don’t.         .        .

The sun was warm.
The sky was blue.
The air was calm.
And I sent each on their way with the admonition to:

KEEP    THE    SHINY    SIDE    UP

It was a great day.           .          .

I got to listen to quite a few people’s bike adventures
as I asked each just how many miles they had on their bikes
and assuring them as a blessing

THAT  THEIR  BEST  MILES  WERE  THOSE  THEY’VE  YET  TO  TRAVEL

 I was once again affirmed of what I firmly believe
that everyone has a story to tell that desperately needs to be told
but even more so needs to be heard.        .        .

I was honored to hear about some of their trips and adventures and the one still yet to be taken.          .          .

The day after, Mike Stevens, the owner of Lake Erie Harley Davidson sent me the following email, thanking me for my time and securing May 18, 2019 for the next
BIKE BLESSING.        .       .

He also included the following email from one who had just gotten his bike Blessed:

After Bike blessing—-we had family over for a get together. When everyone left my brother n law Russ and I were talking and I told him about the blessing and gave him 1 cent —–he thought that was great.  We decided to go to Valley City to get a burger. We took separate  cars .  Lisa and I were following Russ and his girlfriend down 252 . We were behind him about fifty feet. He was going down the steep hill on 252.  I heard a loud sound and slammed  on the brakes in time to avoid a truck in my lane which we avoided –it hit a tree next to us. I jumped out of the car and looked down the hill  and saw 100 feet of car parts all over the road –Russ my brother in law was hit by the truck. Wheels off the truck and his car were laying in the road. I noticed Russ’s car at the bottom of the hill off the road and into a tree. Ran down the hill to the car —car was destroyed. Was able to get the door open and get them out . Russ ‘s girlfriend was hurt and Russ was cut up but no stay in hospital . When we were taking them home  Russ thanked me for 1cent…

MAGICALLY  MONEY.          .          .

makes   C   E   N   T   S
(s e n s e)


Quite a special TWO CENTS worth, huh?

I made it clear to Mike that I neither had a special powers

nor could distribute them

I mean.          .          .

R E A L L Y.          .          .

But I also assured him

that what he did THAT morning

by bringing people together

from all walks of life

with a myriad of their own personal TWO CENT life stories

and put me in a place where I had the honor to hear

T  H  O  S  E      S  T  O  R  I  E  S

especially one very life-changing one.              .          .

was  the

ABRACADABRA   MAGICALLY   MIRACLE   MOMENT

Pssssssssssssssbsssst of the Day:

We are ALL a part of those Magical Moments
(more than we notice or have the CENTS (sense)to recognize)

.          .          .and that’s my

 

 

SNOWING when it DOESN’T

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While others were complaining

about it

S              N              O              W              I              N              G

again

and yes,

I absolutely was tempted.        .        .

I caught myself

and literally stopped in my tracks for

just a couple of minutes

T O     R E C O G N I Z E   W H A T     I     N O T I C E D.         .        .

Amazingly

when I just did that for two minutes

and a mere seven seconds

The other side of the coin flipped for me

and instantly

instead of literally joining the Masses

and severely

C      O      M      P      L      A      I      N      I      N      G

about it being APRIL 8

and it was snowing

A          G          A          I          N.          .          .

i  instead heard the most amazing

symphony being composed and performed at the same time

by an orchestra and chorus of birds

who were in the snow like me

and singing back in defiance

WHO CARES, WHO CARES, WHO CARES, WHO CARES, WHO CARES, 

and I stopped  myself  and  S   A   N   G

back this amazing refrain from an inner voice

I didn’t recognize:

I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, 

and I did

.            .          .I finally recognized what I noticed

that  m o m e n t s

even those sprinkled with snow flakes

on a April 8th Sunday Morning

on the edge of an empty Church Parking lot

where bare brush and trees only purpose

were to collect rare Spring snowflakes

are  L I F E T I M E S

that never perish

and nor do the ones

who take the time

to recognize

what they notice.          .          .

I won the coin flip

to one of the biggest events

in my life

(this time)

but it was all I had

and all I wanted

in just two-minutes and seven seconds.          .          .          .

Being a PLURAL

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Lots of Questions, huh.          .          .

Maybe none bigger

Maybe none more important

T                     H                     A                     N :

W H I C H     O N E ?

If you could only choose just one of your P U R P O S E S

If you could only choose just one of your R E A S O N S

If you could only choose just one of your M E A N I N G S

If you could only choose just one of your D E S T I N I E S 

WHICH  ONE  WOULD  YOU  CHOOSE?

What would be your criteria for choosing?

Would you go Simple.        .         .

Would you go Challenging.        .        .

Sitting on the Fence never got anyone much but a hole in their pants

and   a   sore   R U M P.          .          .

Does your  P L A N     A

include the Possibilities

of   O T H E R       O  P  T  I  O  N  S

Minister
Chaplain
Officiant
Professional Speaker
Writer
Published Author 
Counselor
Husband
Father
Grandfather 
Son
Brother
Uncle
Friend

These are the roles that pop into my own head

and occupy my life

on a daily basis

and if I had to be

S I N G U L A R

and not be a

P   L  U  R  A  L

which one would I pick.        .        .

not so much which one would I hone in on.       .       .

which ONE would I eliminate.        .        .

which ONE would I unravel

not only from my own multicolored Tapestry

but from the fabric of so many other lives

who have intermeshed with my own.        .        .

SHOULD    I    PUT    IT    TO    A    VOTE.          .          .

and just who are the proper Constituents

to   the

U   N   I   V   E   R   S   E       o f       C   H   U   C   K

Does the Sea

in all of it’s vastness

just lap the SHORE

O          N          C          E

.          .          .which wave is the most important one

.          .          .which wave is the least of all the others

Life is never counted by Candles on a Cake.         .        .

but   by   M O M E N T S

M          O          M          E         N          T          S

that don’t compete with another to yell out

I AM THE GREATEST.       .       .

M          O          M         E          N          T          S

that are threads to the

MOSAIC   OF    ME 

We don’t have to CHOOSE

WE JUST HAVE TO UTILIZE

and the best part:

You don’t have to PICK PLURAL

you just have to simply embrace it.           .          .

HAPPINESS  IS  IN  YOUR  HANDS

to      h o l d

to       s h a r e

to     r e c o g n i z e

Sometimes.     .     .

The biggest

M   I   S   S — T  A  K  E

is waiting for the   L  I  G  H  T

to TURN ON

without ever recognizing

it’s   never   been

O     F     F

.          .        .It’s not enough to embrace

YOUR  PLURALITY.       .       .

S H A R E     I T

(o f t e n)

in      all      of      It’s

W                 A                 Y                S

 

INSIGNIFICANT s i g n i f i c a n c e

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Ever feel insignificant?

Ever feel as insignificant as a

F E R RU L E.          .          .

You know.        .        .

a   F E R R U L E:

noun/fer – rule\’fer-el, fe-rel\

: A ring or a cap usually of metal put around a slender shaft (such as a cane or a tool handle) to strengthen it or prevent splitting;

: A usually metal sleeve used especially for joining or binding one part to another (such as pipe sections or the bristles and handle of a brush)

fer-ruled \fe-eld, fe-reld\ adjective

ORIGIN:
alteration of Middle English virole, from the Latin viriola, bracelet, of Celtic origin; akin to Old Irish fair oblique.

FIRST KNOWN USE: 1611

Ever feel like a FERRULE

or even a basket full of them.        .         .

Seriously.     .     .

did you even know that band around a pencil

was ever really called a FERRULE

or for that matter, even had a name?

Talk about INSIGNIFICANCE.     .     .

TALK  ABOUT  FEELING  INSIGNIFICANCE
or having it personified

B                            U                            T

that’s   not

Y          O          U.        .          .

I     F

the Ferrule 

has a purpose

of being a metal band

that cinch around the bases

of erasers

and it actually has a name

a distinct purpose

how in our wildest imaginations

and unleashed understandings

can we fathom

N O T

having a purpose

having a menaing

having a destiny

having a reason

So      get      at      I T

Isn’t that the ONE thing that makes us severely

S I G N I F I C A N T

that   YOU   are actually not just redirectable

but utterly RE-DEFINABLE

YOU   get   instant   DO-OVER’S

of yourself any time

Y  O  U          C H O O S E.        .        .

and   more:

YOU are a SPARK

WHO  is  utterly  inextinguishable

setting   off   bonfires   in   others

.          .          .that’s SIGNIFICANT

and more.        .        .

uhhhhhhhh.     .     .

much more than a shiny band of metal securing an eraser to a pencil

and more.     .     .

The greatest thing about each one of us is that

A     L I F E T I M E

can not only be lived in

A       M   O   M   E   N   T

but   a   L I F E

can forever be changed in that very moment:

S      I      G      N      I      F      I      C      A      N      T

and  more.       .       .

I N S I G N I F I C A N T

O     R

S I G N I F I C A N T.          .          .

not even a thought.       .      .

and then again.       .       .

much more a mere concept:

The  Significance  of  YOU

 

Perfectly Imperfect Christmas

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I’ m    S  O  R  R  Y.       .       .

There really should have been a warning

before this video aired

ON     CHRISTMAS    MORNING,

no less.     .     .

but the thing I like about it

is the bare fact

I    am    completely

V          U          L          N           E           R            A           B          L          E

absolutely

undeniably

unequivocally

naked

bare-bummed

out in front of everyone

uncovered

OUT  THERE.        .       .

BELIEVE  ME

I know that this video

is a not-so-perfect

rendition of Sara Bareilles’

LOVE  IS  CHRISTMAS;

it’s flat.      .       .

it’s shot poorly.          .         .

it’s not just OFF Key,

but off the KEY CHAIN.          .          .

there’s sound of rain against the house

as-an-unfiltered-

one-shot-unedited-version-background.          .           .

the Point:

It’s   a   whole   lot   like   even   the   Best   of   Christmas:

P      E      R      F      E      C      T      L      Y          

 I      M      P      E      R      F      E      C      T

L O V E–

The real

warts,

scars

marred

nicked

blemished

and bloodied

is    that    way,  too.     .     .

THE  BOTTOMLINE:

It’s not what’s under the tree

or on the shelf

or coming directly from Amazon Prime

it’s   just   simply   that

LOVE  IS.       .       .

It’s   taken   me   quite   some   time

but I finally have found out

that LOVE isn’t on

The Calendar

that Love isn’t

a Date or a Day

that Love isn’t

a Season or a particular time.        .       .

It’s a  Lifestyle.     .     .

It comes to us at Perfectly Imperfect Moments.        .        .

L I F E T I M E S

can be lived in a single moment.          .        .

Quit trying to

GET   IT  RIGHT

and realize that IT

already IS

R       I       G       H       T—

a s    i s

and when you do that.          .          .

as Imperfectly Perfect it is

A    M E R R Y    C H R I S T M A S 

happens for AN EVER

and   E V E R.          .          .

and   not   a   bad

NEW  YEAR,

either—

no matter what the date or season.       .       .

RAINING WEDDING DAYS

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One   of   our   biggest   flaws

in day to day

l               i               v               i               n               g  

is    N  O  T

n        o        t        i        c        i        n        g

what  we

r   e   c   o   g   n   i   z   e.        .        .

The   Sun   Shines.     .     .

on   Raining   Days

even   if

especially   if

you   n o t i c e

you simply r e c o g n i z e

or better still.          .          .

m  a  n  u  f  a  c  t  u  r  e—

C             R             E             A             T             E    

I    T

The  truest  WEDDING DAY

isn’t when two people come together

to pledge their devoted/dedicated love

it’s when they realize

that there’s never been a moment

T   H   A   T

hasn’t   existed

when   they   first    became

a  h a v e n

S   H   E   L   T   E   R

to each’s

other

.          .          .rain

sleet

snow

sun brightly shining

(especially in the darkest, most stormiest of nights)

 

 

Holding Space

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https://youtu.be/eucAdWW-4HM

H   O   L   D   I   N   G          S   P   A   C   E

I’ve been doing Hospice since Halloween 1994;

I didn’t know it on October 31, 1994 on my very first Monday at working there.

Actually I was scared to death

(NO    PUN    INTENDED)

I had just turned in my resignation at Westlake Christian Church two weeks prior to starting at Hospice and I had no idea what I decision,

what   Life Path   I had just entered.

Instead of thinking about T H A T, 

I was petrified that I had taken about a 40% cut in pay to take this job with five kids and a wife who’s paid nothing to pricelessly make sure everything ran smoothly on a budget that would have a homeless man poorer. . . .

I was worried.      .      .

and ohhhhhh how I was so even more

u  n  k  n  o  w  i  n  g

It didn’t take me many Monday’s in Hospice to figure out what it took to

H  o  l  d       S  p  a  c  e

It’s not just providing that beautiful thing we call

P    R    E    S    E    N    C    E

Holding Space  is something so very much more than that.

It’s shutting out the world,

shutting out all of the stories,

both your anthologies as well as the Compendium

of all or any  ONE  particular patient.

It’s sacred space.      .      .very, very consecrated.

h   o   l   y.

The film clip above is long by our very bored,

show-me-something-right-now-or-I’ll-stop-watching-standards.

Watch it.      .      .

It  IS LONG  and it’s difficult to watch with the spanish and not so correct captions.      .      .

but watch it.      .      .

stop right now and watch it over again

and know just by showing up,

just by being there in  that held space  there is nothing

no         t h i n g

you’ll find anymore sacral.       .       .

no            t h i n g.

He asked to see me a few weeks ago

I had only met him once before when he was at an inpatient facility.

He asked his wife to call me and set an appointment.

He was weak and lethargic and could barely stay away during our visit.

 I asked if it would be alright if I would stop by again the following week.

He said he would like that.

 His wife asked if he wanted to talk about anything else before I left.

He shook his head no.

She said, “But wonder if when Chuck comes back you can’t talk?”

He opened his eyes and looked into mine.

It was seconds.       .       .

a moment.          .          .special.

He reached out for my hand and I held his in both of mine.

“Then, ” I said.      .      .

“Then we’ll have a conversation just like this,”

I told him squeezing his hand between the two of   mine.

He shook his head slowly,

UP and Down in a gesture of  Y E S.

He didn’t know,

but IN THAT MOMENT OF HELD SPACE,

I made him feel what I’ve come to know countless times over since October 31, 1994:

The best conversations are the ones that usually use NO WORDS; 

.    .    .that convey what a heart shouts and a mouth can’t begin to whisper.   .   .   .

we held space.

I called to set up another visit with him and hadn’t gotten the message that he had died just the night before.

We–his wife and I–

spoke about what a special visit it had been just a few days before

and how he had died in peace, comfortably with his mother, wife and some very close bedside him.      .      .

h  o  l  d  i  n  g       s  p  a  c  e

That we all might hold space.       .       .

That we all might have space held for us

one   sanctified   moment

 

F L A S H E D

By Leave a Comment

Impressive, huh?

Starting with just a single cellist on the floor of the National Air and Space Museum’s “MILESTONES OF FLIGHT” gallery, and swelling to some 120 musicians, The U.S. Air Force Band STOPPED PEOPLE in their tracks with a different kind of Public Display.

Have you noticed?

Not just Christmas. . .

Not just Hanukkah. . .

Not just Kwanzzaa. . .

Not just any other special day of your Choosing…

It doesn’t come as a Season or a Day but more as a

M O M E N T

The best of our Lives are MOMENTS woven together in this fantastic Tapestry, not usually recognized as a MASTERPIECE, because of all of the Loose Ends, Dangling Strings, Jumbled/Tumbled up knots that hardly could be considered any kind of ART–even the bad kind.

L O O K

L I S T E N

AGAIN.

I’ve posted this video as a Compassionate reminder that sometimes there are also Peaceful, Inspiring Public APPROVAL’S
Populace PRAISES
World ACCEPTANCES.

It’s not just because of the Anniversary of Pearl Harbor, it so that we don’t forget
anytime
anyplace
anywhere
that we are instruments being cued to join the Song the World so desperately needs to
HEAR
SEE
FEEL
E X P E R I E N C E. . . .

You may not only feel or believe this, but The Band just doesn’t sound the same without you.

Join in

Play.

Sing.

Recognize that the World needs this MUSIC more now than ever and no more time can be wasted.

YOU ARE NOT A SPECTATOR

but a PARTICIPANT in this great Orchestra.

The Baton is raised. . .we are Cued. . .

PLAY YOUR NOTE–LET YOUR MUSIC BE HEARD.

Maybe you got a little of that in the 6:20 video. . .maybe you need to see/listen to it again. . .
maybe you need to just simply pass it along–SHARE IT?

Give yourself a most precious gift not during the Season or a Day, but now, at this MOMENT…

Give yourself an EXPERIENCE

Don’t Sieze the Day;

Notice the Moment, the now of NOW and enjoy. . .enjoy it and then expand it just by simply sharing it;
One Moment
One Person
at at time–
YOUR TIME
YOUR BEAT
YOUR NOTE
YOUR SONG
Y O U R
Flash!

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man