AMAZING THINGS HAPPEN
WHEN YOU TALK
AND
L I S T E N
especially when you ask
curiously
and
listen hard. . .
WE
L E A R N. . .
(A LOT)
JUST A MOMENT: UNLEARNING TO LEARN
What are some of the lessons that you learned, were taught, or even punished for not learning fast enough when you were a kid?
Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson to learn it in a new way that would benefit your life?
It’s not that we were taught things to harm us. We were always taught lessons to protect us from the world and yes, sometimes from ourselves.
Come on we, don’t wait for the rain so that we could go outside and play or barbecue or lay out. We don’t dance in mud puddles in our bare feet or worse, our brand new shoes. We know better because we were taught better and maybe, maybe we need to know a little bit more. Go ahead, take a walk in the rain, stomp in a mud puddle, even with people watching. Who knows, who knows, the exhilaration that kids have could just be what’s worth feeling for us, too.
S P L A S H
O N
T S U N D O K U
THERE IS THE LITERAL VISUAL DEFINITION OF
T S U N D O K U:
A
S T A C K
O F
B O O K S
The value of owning more books than you can read
- Many readers buy books with every intention of reading them only to let them linger on the shelf.
- Statistician Nassim Nicholas Taleb believes surrounding ourselves with unread books enriches our lives as they remind us of all we don’t know.
- The Japanese call this practice tsundoku, and it may provide lasting benefits.
Kevin Dickson recently wrote an article for BIG THINK that caught the attention of my friend, a fellow Book Lover like myself that immediately took the weight of a severe guilt I carry and am reminded of even as I type and watch the AMAZON person drop me off another book selection I just recently read about.
Kevin confesses: I love books. If I go to the bookstore to check a price, I walk out with three books I probably didn’t know existed beforehand. I buy second-hand books by the bagful at the Friends of the Library sale, while explaining to my wife that it’s for a good cause. Even the smell of books grips me, that faint aroma of earthy vanilla that wafts up at you when you flip a page. Hmmmmmmmmmm. . . .
The problem is that my book-buying habit outpaces my ability to read them. This leads to FOMO and occasional pangs of guilt over the unread volumes spilling across my shelves. Sound familiar?
But it’s possible this guilt is entirely misplaced. According to statistician Nassim Nicholas Taleb, these unread volumes represent what he calls an “antilibrary,” and he believes our antilibraries aren’t signs of intellectual failings. Quite the opposite.
LIVING WITH AN ANTILIBRARY
Taleb laid out the concept of the antilibrary in his best-selling bookThe Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable. He starts with a discussion of the prolific author and scholar Umberto Eco, whose personal library housed a staggering 30,000 books.
When Eco hosted visitors, many would marvel at the size of his library and assumed it represented the host’s knowledge — which, make no mistake, was expansive. But a few savvy visitors realized the truth: Eco’s library wasn’t voluminous because he had read so much; it was voluminous because he desired to read so much more.
Eco stated as much. Doing a back-of-the-envelope calculation, he found he could only read about 25,200 books if he read one book a day, every day, between the ages of ten and eighty. A “trifle,” he laments, compared to the million books available at any good library.
Drawing from Eco’s example, Taleb deduces:
Read books are far less valuable than unread ones. [Your] library should contain as much of what you do not know as your financial means, mortgage rates, and the currently tight real-estate market allows you to put there. You will accumulate more knowledge and more books as you grow older, and the growing number of unread books on the shelves will look at you menacingly. Indeed, the more you know, the larger the rows of unread books. Let us call this collection of unread books an antilibrary.
Maria Popova, whose post at Brain Pickings summarizes Taleb’s argument beautifully, notes that our tendency is to overestimate the value of what we know, while underestimating the value of what we don’t know. Taleb’s antilibrary flips this tendency on its head.
The antilibrary’s value stems from how it challenges our self-estimation by providing a constant, niggling reminder of all we don’t know. The titles lining my own home remind me that I know little to nothing about cryptography, the evolution of feathers, Italian folklore, illicit drug use in the Third Reich, and whatever entomophagy is. (Don’t spoil it; I want to be surprised.)
“We tend to treat our knowledge as personal property to be protected and defended,” Taleb writes. “It is an ornament that allows us to rise in the pecking order. So this tendency to offend Eco’s library sensibility by focusing on the known is a human bias that extends to our mental operations.”
These selves of unexplored ideas propel us to continue reading, continue learning, and never be comfortable that we know enough. Jessica Stillman calls this realization intellectual humility.
People who lack this intellectual humility — those without a yearning to acquire new books or visit their local library — may enjoy a sense of pride at having conquered their personal collection, but such a library provides all the use of a wall-mounted trophy. It becomes an “ego-booting appendage” for decoration alone. Not a living, growing resource we can learn from until we are 80 — and, if we are lucky, a few years beyond.
T S U N D O K U
I love Taleb’s concept, but I must admit I find the label “antilibrary” a bit lacking. For me, it sounds like a plot device in a knockoff Dan Brown novel — “Quick! We have to stop the Illuminati before they use the antilibrary to erase all the books in existence.”
Writing for the New York Times, Kevin Mims also doesn’t care for Taleb’s label. Thankfully, his objection is a bit more practical: “I don’t really like Taleb’s term ‘antilibrary.’ A library is a collection of books, many of which remain unread for long periods of time. I don’t see how that differs from an antilibrary.”
His preferred label is a loanword from Japan: tsundoku. Tsundoku is the Japanese word for the stack(s) of books you’ve purchased but haven’t read. Its morphology combines tsunde-oku (letting things pile up) and dukosho (reading books).
The word originated in the late 19th century as a satirical jab at teachers who owned books but didn’t read them. While that is opposite of Taleb’s point, today the word carries no stigma in Japanese culture. It’s also differs from bibliomania, which is the obsessive collecting of books for the sake of the collection, not their eventual reading.
THE VALUE OF TSUNDOKU
Granted, I’m sure there is some braggadocious bibliomaniac out there who owns a collection comparable to a small national library, yet rarely cracks a cover. Even so, studies have shown that book ownership and reading typically go hand in hand to great effect.
One such study found that children who grew up in homes with between 80 and 350 books showed improved literacy, numeracy, and information communication technology skills as adults. Exposure to books, the researchers suggested, boosts these cognitive abilities by making reading a part of life’s routines and practices.
Many other studies have shown reading habits relay a bevy of benefits. They suggest reading can reduce stress, satisfy social connection needs, bolster social skills and empathy, and boost certain cognitive skills. And that’s just fiction! Reading nonfiction is correlated with success and high achievement, helps us better understand ourselves and the world, and gives you the edge come trivia night.
In her article, Jessica Stillman ponders whether the antilibrary acts as a counter to the Dunning-Kruger effect, a cognitive bias that leads ignorant people to assume their knowledge or abilities are more proficient than they truly are. Since people are not prone to enjoying reminders of their ignorance, their unread books push them toward, if not mastery, then at least a ever-expanding understanding of competence.
“All those books you haven’t read are indeed a sign of your ignorance. But if you know how ignorant you are, you’re way ahead of the vast majority of other people,” Stillman writes.
Whether you prefer the term antilibrary, tsundoku, or something else entirely, the value of an unread book is its power to get you to read it.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Now if you’ll excuse me. . .
THERE’S
THIS
B O O K. . .
Eco stated as much. Doing a back-of-the-envelope calculation, he found he could only read about 25,200 books if he read one book a day, every day, between the ages of ten and eighty. A “trifle,” he laments, compared to the million books available at any good library.
Drawing from Eco’s example, Taleb deduces:
Read books are far less valuable than unread ones. [Your] library should contain as much of what you do not know as your financial means, mortgage rates, and the currently tight real-estate market allows you to put there. You will accumulate more knowledge and more books as you grow older, and the growing number of unread books on the shelves will look at you menacingly. Indeed, the more you know, the larger the rows of unread books. Let us call this collection of unread books an antilibrary. [Emphasis original]
THE VIDEO YOU WON’T WATCH BUT SHOULD
THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT/HELPFUL/INSIGHTFUL MONDAY BLOG VIDEO’S I HAVE EVER POSTED IN THE PAST SEVEN YEARS AND THERE’S A REALLY GOOD CHANCE YOU WILL NEVER WATCH IT, BUT SHOULD
THE MOST IMPORTANT 10 1/2 minutes you can spend for this entire year and the rest of your life. . .
(Or NOT; YOU can go on, not connecting and worrying and fretting AD NAUSEAM)
YOUR MIDNIGHT LIBRARY
The Pandemic hasn’t been all BAD. . .
BECAUSE IT HAS GIVEN ME MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO
R E A D
A voracious reader
from the even before I could read
I have loved books
and have loved passing on my
LOVE OF BOOKS
from the very first one
I can ever remember
having
To the one
I just started last night
And the
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
so many in between. . .
which brings me to the opening pages of:
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm:
One of the reasons I’ve always loved reading
is because it
has inspired
WRITING
SPEAKING
FREE-THINKING
that I have no
ON/OFF
Switch
(and one I’m not seeking or ever hoping to find). . .
It’s made my
EYES, HEAR
NOSE, TASTE
EARS, SEE
IMAGINATION, FANTASIZE
IT HAS MADE ME
M E
and my idea of a perfect death
is having
FAMILY
FRIENDS
BOOKS
surrounding me. . .
It allows me
WONDER
as I
WANDER
and to
P O N D E R
even now
AM I MORE
IF/BUT
or
CAN/WILL
KIND OF A PERSON. . .
Y O U ?
So here’s the
D E A L
We have a Pen in our hands
with Blank pages before us
waiting not just for a written word
or a secret message
but that one single sentence
that can only come from
Y O U
THE WORLD
desperately needs to not have written
but
specifically
intentionally
purposely
intimately
R E A D
(NO PANDEMIC NECESSARY)
Educating the Heart
I was never
an academic all-star;
I most likely
was a classic undiagnosed ADHD
Kid who was often classified as a
“SMART KID WHO CAN’T SEEM TO STAY FOCUSED”
during parent/teacher conference
who excelled with
anything to do with
Reading
and nothing to do with
Math. . .
Who
was often writing poetry
and putting together lyrical phrases
that I wrote in the margins of books
or large lined notebooks
that made me look like
I was ferociously
taking notes. . .
I was often motivated to do well in school
so I could play sports
and not to embarrass my
school teaching, coaching dad
and school secretary mom
. . .but it always felt
foreign
distant
and far from a home
my heart beat to reside
UNLESS
I had
THOSE
teachers
who didn’t
look to grade
penmanship
sentence structure
or what I could recite back
after nights of intense memorization. . .
THOSE TEACHERS
that wanted a piece of my mind
and a part of my heart
by inspiring me
with theirs;
who challenged me to read
WHAT WASN’T
on the syllabus
but more in my dreams;
IT
was the one thing that shaped me then
and still drives me now
T H I S
EDUCATION OF THE HEART
which you never graduate
nor receive a degree
but something far
F A R
more important:
A DEEPLY MEANINGFUL LIFE
. . .PAY ATTENTION, CLASS
The Lectures have ended
but the Teaching
is in a never-ending
S E S S I O N
and it’ll not only assure
that your heart will beat differently
IT WILL GUARANTEE
you’ll cause other hearts
to be
forever significantly better
THIS
Education of the Heart
YOUR OBITUARY
He was just 69, was stamped “Return to Sender” Tuesday, October 2, 2018. . .
and so his
O B I T U A R Y
began. . .
How would you begin yours?
How would you let it unfold
and exactly who would you want to read it?
Here’s how his continued:
He was born May 10, 1949, in Ellwood City and he attended Seneca Valley High School and graduated from Slippery Rock University. At age six, as his father realized his potential, his dad promptly had himself neutered.
(YES. . .this is a real, TRUE OBITUARY)
He most prided himself on the fact that upon his high school graduation, six of his teachers required psychiatric treatment for chronic depression and suicidal thoughts. During his collegiate tenure, he was a three-year starter on the basketball team, establishing scoring records and national free-throw percentages.
Once he left college, he briefly, very briefly, earned a living as a male stripper. Facing impending bankruptcy, he taught and coached a variety of sports. Eventually, he became a supervisor for 26 years with Consolidated Coal. During his coal mining tenure, his most noteworthy accomplishment was amassing 18 pairs of channel locks and 127 rolls of P-tape.
Following an early retirement, he formed a construction company and returned to college, receiving a pastoral certification. The next phase of his life found him ministering at a Presbyterian Church for 17 years. He was passionate about short-term mission trips, which specialized in rebuilding flood and wind-damaged homes, participating in over 30 trips and visiting 12 states in the process.
He had a plethora of interests, including occasionally dressing up as a woman, playing corn hole with kittens and eating. His favorite entrée was cherry pie. Free cherry pie to be exact. He was able to substitute his pastoral salary by frequently visiting a local Art Institute, where he posed for aspiring student-sculptors whose interest was creating images of Buddha. He loved to tell stories and freely admitted that a portion of what he said was true, but never disclosed which portion.
To the astonishment of many, 1997, he wed the love of his life. Quite often, he was quizzed as to how he was able to corral such a young beauty, and he admitted lying to her, claiming he was filthy rich. They were blessed with the birth of two children. Surviving, in addition to his wife and two children, are a brother and a sister.
Above all, his greatest love was that of his Lord Jesus Christ. And his most sincere wish was that everyone would come to know and love God as he did. In lieu of flowers, the family asks, for those who are willing, to attend a church of their choice, and secondly, to break wind in a public setting.
Visitation will be held from noon to 2 p.m., the time of service. Any person attending who cries will kindly be asked to vacate the premises.
SO WHAT WRITE YOU ?
This was a real obituary, with only the name of the deceased and his family kept private, though the obituary was very open and even more public.
So. . .
What would you write
What would you share
What would you want to most be remembered
Would you go serious
Would you go just factual
Would you go religious
Would you be solemn
Would you be sarcastic and mocking
Would you go for the LAST WORD
What would you write. . .
Well. . .
DO IT
Let’s see it
Share it
or at least put it on paper
Since 1980
I’ve invited individuals and groups to enter into the exercise
to not just reach out and
T O U C H
their mortality
but to actually
e x p e r i e n c e i t
to walk with it
to make friends with it. . .
It’s not an easy exercise
a real fun thing to participate
but it’s very revealing and even freeing
to look
YOUR OWN DEATH
in the eye
and not to blink
but actually stare it down
and when it’s all whittled down
person after person’
group after group
come to this conclusion:
It’s not technology
It’s not science
It’s not medical advances
it’s not pharmaceuticals
It’s not intellectual advancements
so much as
r e l a t i o n s h i p s
that not only cure
that not only bind us
but actually heals us
Some people never really have the courage to say
H E L L O
until there’s a final
GOOD B Y E
Y O U R D E A T H N O T I C E
What would be there in
T H E D A S H
Between a Birthday and a Death day
What would tumble your tombstone
WHAT WOULD MAKE THE ULTIMATE DIFFERENCE
and more. . .
leave the ultimate
T I M E S T A M P
well. . .?
what write you?
The Child of YOU
We have forgotten how to be kids, huh?
Wouldn’t it be great
if there was a Charter School that
all adults
were mandated to attend
O F T E N
to learn how to be a kid again
or merely stay a child
or to dare be a child. . .
Kids would be teachers
and we’d all major in
R E C E S S
We’d learn their math
(That 1 + 1 = way more than two)
we’d learn their language
we’d learn their dream power
we’d learn their art techniques
we’d sing their kind of music
we’d have lunch time of ice-cream and cotton candy for a day
we’d major in mud puddle jumping
J U S T B E C A U S E
like Miss Emma
my colleague, Rachel’s daughter
who found pure joy
not by walking the zoo and seeing all of the animals
but finding a puddle shortly after a rain storm
and being ALLOWED by mom
to jump away happily. . .
ahhhhh. . .
to jump untethered in a mud puddle
or to go fishing in it and expect so much to catch fish
so much so
that you actually bring the tartar sauce along. . .
Pablo Picasso was right, wasn’t he:
“EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE IS REAL; EVERY CHILD IS AN ARTIST, THE PROBLEM IS HOW TO REMAIN AN ARTIST ONCE HE GROWS UP.”
This past weekend I became a child again. . .
but it was even more momentarily
than my several firsts go throughs. . .
We visited our daughter Zoe, our son-in-law Mark and our
granddaughter, Evey . . .
. . .literally moments before we were leaving
Eve forget to hold on to a coffee table and took
6-8 unassisted steps
HER FIRSTS
and made us feel like we were taking our
First few steps. . .
my 62 year old heart
beat excitedly younger. . .
Some 12 hours later
a large part of our family gathered together
to celebrate my dad’s Birthday
We sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY
ate cake, cupcakes, Birthday potluck foods
and celebrated that
L I F E
is never made up from how many Candles are found on a Cake
so much as
M O M E N T S
. . .m o m e n t s
that aren’t defined by any age
so much as the endless child inside of us
desperately fighting to simply remain
a c h i l d
reaching for a hand to hold
a dream to imagine
a song to sing
a jingle to dance
a food to eat
a picture to create
and yes. . .
a puddle to jump into
again and again and again and. . .
Just in time to jump into a pile of leaves that begs never to be left alone
Life is filled with
F I R S T S T E P S
and D A N C I N G
our A-B-C’ S
like TOMORROW
and YESTERDAY
is our forever
T O D A Y
and that our best creations
are very next ones. . .
Now, that’s worth singing
H A P P Y B I R T H D AY
with the loud refrain of
O N E M O R E T I M E
DEGRADED
Yeah. . .
I was T H A T kid.
I wasn’t very good in school. . .
I didn’t like it. . .
I don’t know if it much liked me, either. . .
I went there to play sports
and when sports went away,
I used it for a true means
to an e n d. . .
I learned to beat it
M O R E
than it beat me.
I learned to overcome it’s shame
and D E G R A D I N G G R A D E S. . .
When I was in 6th grade we had just moved again;
It was the third school I had been in 6 years. . .
In retrospect. . .
it really made me the extrovert,
people-person I am today. . .
but it was tough, t h e n. . .
Our teacher was Old School
in an n e w school. . .
She believed in motivating through humiliation;
When you took a test
she let everyone know what S C O R E
they received by
Calling out your name
and putting your paper on the desk. . .
but just not any desk;
We had five rows of them. . .
She started by calling out the names
of all those who had received
F’s
by putting them on the row of desks in the fifth row;
D’s
were the Fourth Row;
C’s
right in the middle;
B’s
in the Second Row
and with drum roll anticipation
and great Pomp
T h e A’s
were reserved for T H A T
First Row. . .
Yes, I can finally write about it now. . .
I landed not just in the Fifth Row,
but most of the time,
the last or next to the last seat in the Fifth Row. . .
H-U-M-L-L-I-A-T-E-D–N O T
m o t i v a t e d !
And then I found a way out:
E X T R A C R E D I T !
We walked to school,
which was a half of a block away
and went home for lunch. . .
I would hurry home
and eat lunch and then hurry back to school
so that I could grab the Encyclopedias
and come up with a 3-5 minute talk
about some interesting facts
of what we were studying in Geography;
I didn’t discover my voice. . .
I literally ascertained that my mouth,
the mouth that had been washed out several times with soap,
that got sent to bed countless times for
‘s a s s i n g,’
that mouth which could convince
my brothers and sister
out of their favorite Halloween or Easter candy,
belongs in a Circus—
all T h r e e – R i n g s !
I did what everyone else hated to do:
T a l k
in front of the class room,
three days a week,
following our lunch break. . .
I’d tell them about the importing and exporting business
in Peru or Rio or Guam;
Told them about climates and what grew best in the soil;
What Winter’s or Fall’s were like;
I told them what the favorite hobbies
or past-time’s were in those locales and
I K E P T F A I L I N G T E S T S. . .
But I kept moving up Rows. . .
From the F’s
to the D’s
to the C’s
to the B’s
and finally. . .
I was sitting in the last seat of the
A’s Row
because of a mouth that couldn’t be quieted or
D E – G R A D E D !
I remember one afternoon,
going in before school resumed
again after lunch
and working on another Extra Credit talk
while S H E
was sitting at her desk grading papers
to a test we had just taken that morning;
“You found a way, didn’t you,” she asked me?
I looked up from the Encyclopedia that I was reading,
getting ready for my next talk. . .
“Uhhh, ma’am.”
“You found a way of passing while failing, didn’t you?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Well, it’s a good thing, because this test you just took would have landed you back in the last seat of the Fourth Row.”
I didn’t say or do anything, because I couldn’t look away from her.
She smiled and said,
“Congratulations. Well done, Mr. Behrens. You have found a way out of the way and I believe it will serve you well.”
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .
I haven’t stopped smiling—–
y e t. . .
or
T A L K I N G. . .
Taught
Amazing isn’t it. . .
it’s rarely about Teaching;
Amazing isn’t it. . .
it’s rarely about the Student;
Amazing isn’t it. . .
it’s rarely about them
N O T finding themselves
T o g e t h e r
at the exact time they’re both needed to show up. . .
The Teacher doesn’t always Teach. . .
The Student doesn’t always Learn. . .
But. . .
when that exact moment
the two are on the Same Page
in THE SAME BOOK. . .
Learning just doesn’t take place,
M A G I C
h a p p e n s. . .
Who was that Teacher for your Student?
It doesn’t always happen in the Classroom,
does it?
Maybe that’s the problem. . .
we look for the Teacher in a Classroom,
chalk in hand,
Blackboard at their back,
opened Book,
Power-Pointed Up,
Lecturing,
Instructing,
Directing,
Assigning. . .
Maybe that’s the problem. . .
we look for the Student in a Classroom,
slumped in seat,
doodling on blank pages,
reading the same sentence/paragraph
over and over again,
feigning attention. . .
But the Teacher,
the Student
can be in grocery story lines,
or movie theaters,
or ballgames,
or swim meets,
or at a diner,
a car wash,
Church,
a Mosque,
Synagogue,
Cathedral,
Cemetery,
Drive-Thru,
Playground,
Anywhere. . .
Anyplace. . .
Anytime. . .
Anyhow. . .
Is it Today ?
Is it Right now
at this exact moment
via a blog?
Is it
Virtual?
Did you hear it in a Song Lyric. . .
a Headline?
Maybe the truest question is
N O T W H E N I S I T. . .
BUT WHEN ISN’T IT ?
Class is in Session. . .
All Ways. . .
Always. . . .