W O W
60 years ago Paul Harvey originally aired
A LETTER FROM GOD
and admittedly so, it has been updated a little since those 60 years ago but there’s nothing like hearing an
OLD MESSAGE
IN A NEW WAY
and then again, who knows
if it was heard
THEN
any more than it’s heard
N O W
. . .maybe that’s an answer your dealing with right now, November 6, 2023 and maybe even more realizing
IT’S EASY LIVING IN WHAT WAS WORLD
without ever noticing
WHAT IS
or
WHAT CAN BE. . .
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Maybe that’s why it’s so tough not only hearing an
OLD MESSAGE
in a
NEW WAY
but
being different or
actually
L I V I N G
I T
(Here’s a tip of the hat to Paul and an invitation hear in a new way an old message and to be better because of it. . .)
FAMOUS GRIEF
Most of us escape life and living cleanly. Uhhhhh, we may clean up well but there’s always a residue that resides on each of us and try as we T R Y to cover it all up, IT remains almost like the very skin that contains the profound and profane of our very essence.
So when we hear of the death of a celebrity it comes at us on an aortic level that literally shocks the heart and makes it beat a different rhythm.
All of THIS with the full knowledge that we were born with a terminal, sexually transmitted disease called life. One out of one of us dies~~famous or not. And with each death a lesson. . .now whether it’s learned or not is the issue but never that it’s not been emphatically taught once again.
What Regina Brett, a retired columnist from the Plain Dealer in Cleveland, Ohio and best selling author shared is both, worth being Taught and Learning all over again:
When I learned actor Matthew Perry had died, my heart hurt. He filled so much of our lives with laughter in those ten years he appeared on “Friends.”
I could quote so many of his lines by heart because the show touched my heart. But his greatest gift to us wasn’t his ability to make us laugh, but his ability to make us care.
Perry’s ongoing quest for sobriety is epic in the number of times he failed and in the number of times he kept trying. That’s what I’ll remember him for. He kept trying.
The saint Julian of Norwich wrote, “First the fall, and then the recovery from the fall, and both are the mercy of God.”
Both.
She also wrote, “Our wounds are our glory.”
In his memoir, “Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing,” Perry shared his wounds. He wrote about alcoholism and his addiction to painkillers, including OxyContin, Vicodin and Dilaudid. He spent more than half his life in rehab, detox and treatment centers and spend more than $9 million trying to get sober. He nearly died numerous times. And still, he kept trying again and again. Life was worth the fight.
People are going to share their favorite Chandler Bing moments when he made them laugh on “Friends” but Perry wrote, “When I die, I’d like’ Friends’ to be listed behind ‘helping people.’”
So let’s remember him for helping others. This is how he helped us. He left us these words from his wounded life to guide us. His book was his greatest legacy to help those who struggle with alcoholism and drug addiction:
“The thing that I’m most proud of in my life is that if a stranger came up to me and said, ‘I can’t stop drinking. I can’t stop drinking. Can you help me?’ I can say, ‘Yes, I can help you.’”
“My favorite six words in recovery are: trust God, clean house, and help others.
“The thing is, if I don’t have sobriety, I don’t have anything.”
“The man takes the drink, the drink takes all the rest.”
“Nobody ever thinks that something really bad is going to happen to them. Until it does.”
“Addiction, the big terrible thing, is far too powerful foranyone to defeat alone. But together, one day at a time, we can beat it down.”
We. That’s the key word to recovery. We. It’s the first word of the first step in Alcoholics Anonymous. We.
“I start, I cannot stop. All I had control over was the first drink. After that, all bets were off. (See under: The man takes the drink, the drink takes all the rest.) Once I believe the lie that I can just have one drink, I am no longer responsible for my actions.”
“Alcoholics hate two things: the way things are and change.”
“I think you actually have to have all of your dreams come true to realize they are the wrong dreams.”
“If you spend too much time looking in the rearview mirror, you will crash your car.”
I hope he died with a sense of the peace he had when he wrote this:
“When someone does something nice for someone else, I see God. But you can’t give away something you don’t have. So, I try to improve myself daily. When those moments come and I am needed, I’ve worked out my shit, and do what we are all here for, which is simply to help other people.”
“There’s nothing better than a world where everybody’s just trying to make each other laugh.”
May we remember his laughter but also the lessons he shared to heal the wounds of others.
S O. . .so what. . . ?
This past week I had several wide-eyed looks at grief, raw, guttural and up close not only at some of the ‘Celebrations of Life’ I conducted but also the painful-can’t-breathe-how-am-I-going-to-go-on-living-anticipatory grief I held space with several families as their MATTHEW PERRY was dying. At least three times the same thing, almost verbatim was stated, “What a shame about Matthew Perry, huh?” and the response was the same in all three instances: “I DON’T CARE, my wife, my dad, my sister is dead, is dying. . .”
A LITTLE LISTENING–A LOT OF GOOD
Just a little listening does a lot of good
is more than a nice sentiment
and can be even better than we might be able imagine
IF WE ARE WILLING TO DO MORE OF IT. .
Where to Seek Help if the
Israel-Hamas War
Is Impacting Your Mental Health
The World is literally
S C R E A M I N G
right now, but it also is giving us some resources that lets us know
the SHOUTS
are heard. . .
Time Magazine’s Mallory Moench shares with us some of these assurances that the screams and shouts are more than just noises to be heard or worse, ignored.
Since the Israel-Hamas War ignited on Oct. 7, it feels as though we’ve been bombarded online with graphic information and imagery of the horrors unfolding in the Middle East.
The war has flooded news and social media, in some cases, sowing political division. The trauma is heightened for those directly affected by the conflict, but anyone can be impacted and experience vicarious trauma. In the past couple of days, the BBC acknowledged the toll the war is taking on its staff and has offered more mental health support.
If you feel as though your mental health has been negatively impacted by the ongoing conflict, here’s who you can contact for help.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
SAMHSA runs a Disaster Distress Helpline that is toll-free, multilingual and available 24/7 to all residents in the U.S. and its territories who are experiencing emotional distress related to natural or human-caused disasters. This includes survivors of disasters, loved ones of victims, first responders, rescue, recovery, and relief workers, clergy, parents and caregivers calling on behalf of themselves or someone else.
Each Disaster Distress Helpline Core Region Center has crisis counselors who are trained to listen and offer support to people in emotional crisis, the agency says.
You can speak with a counselor immediately by calling or texting 1-800-985-5990. For deaf and hard of hearing callers, you can call the same number from a videophone or access a video conference call online by following this link from the government website.
If you’re looking to receive mental health treatment or therapy, call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 or TTY: 1-800-487-4889. The confidential, free, 24/7 information service in English and Spanish for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups and community-based organizations.
You can also visit SAMHSA’s online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message to 435748 to find help near you.
Crisis Text Line
Crisis Text Line is a global nonprofit organization that provides text access to a crisis counselor. It is staffed by volunteers who undergo a multi-stage application process, background check and training program, and then are supervised by staff with master’s degrees in a relevant field or commensurate crisis intervention experience, the organization says. The service is available in the U.S., U.K., Canada and Ireland.
If you’re in the U.S., text HOME to 741741 to chat with a crisis counselor, use Whatsapp or message online.
In Canada, text CONNECT to 686868. The line is jointly run with Kids Help Phone.
From the U.K. text SHOUT to 85258. Shout is an affiliate of Crisis Text Line in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.
For Ireland, text HOME to 50808.
Find A Helpline HOW ARE YOU DOING?
No matter where you are in the world, use this search engine to find a mental health helpline by country, region and/or topic. Mental healthcare company ThroughLine, which has partnered with Google, verifies and publishes the online tool.
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
In the U.S., you can contact NAMI’s HelpLine to communicate with a volunteer. Connect by phone 1-800-950-6264 or text “HelpLine” to 62640, or chat online. It is available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.
NAMI also publishes a resource directory where you find help online and in-person help by topic and runs local chapters where you can attend support groups in person.
Find mental health therapy online or in-person
If you’re in the U.S. and looking for more personalized and ongoing mental health therapy, it can be difficult to find or afford a therapist, especially if you don’t have health insurance.
The American Psychiatric Association runs a database where you can search for a psychiatrist near you. The American Psychological Association refers to its state chapters where you can find therapists by location, including in some states finding those working pro bono or on a sliding scale. If you don’t have insurance, the federal government recommends searching for a community health center near you that might offer free or low-cost mental healthcare.
Nonprofit nationwide network Open Path Psychotherapy Collective is another option that offers therapy at a reduced cost for people who are uninsured or underinsured. Pay a lifetime membership fee of $65, then schedule with a therapist for $40 to $70 a session, with $30 student intern sessions available. You can join the network and find a therapist online.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
. . .such an easy, simple question, yet how significant if you ask it and really listen, maybe even dig, and mostly w a i t for an answer
A N D
in some of the listening over these past 18 or so days, I’ve been hearing this one question:
WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP
the short and significant answer:
HELP SOMEONE ELSE
ANYONE ELSE
make a call
send a text
hold a hand
lend an ear
hold a door
give a gift
and yes. . .
Read More: How to Help Victims of the Israel-Hamas War
A DOING SOMETING
is more than NOTHING
that can mean an EVERYTHING
d a r e
to
p r o v e
i t. . .
S H O W
that by reaching out
you’re
TOUCHING
A WITHIN-NESS
that’s worth
c o n n e c t i n g
R I S E UP
M U S I C
sometimes says what needs to be felt
that can’t be experienced in any other way
. . .just like this song,
RISE UP
by Audra Day
One of the truest of truths is a lesson that this beautiful season teaches us:
WE ALL FALL DOWN
But we also know
that each of us hold’s a
L I G H T
but it’s severely questionable
of what we’re doing with it. . .
Maybe when we realize
(maybe, really for the first real time)
that your pain
is my pain
and my pain
is your pain
we can literally lift
each’s other
and
R I S E
UP
(but will you?)
H I N E N I
It’s been a whirlwind all over the world in these past two weeks and it has the feel of not ending any time soon, and worse, ending well. . .
I’ve heard a lot of words over this time and I’ve said a lot of words and there’s one word that came to me when I was looking to hear it or say it but now feel the need to share it:
H I N E N I
It’s a Hebrew word that means:
HERE I AM
But here’s the thing about words, or in this case
A WORD. . .
They don’t mean anything
Said or Heard
until they are experienced
until they are Living Verbs. . .
I’ve had to ask of myself:
JUST HOW AM I SHOWING UP
(and how often?)
I’m wondering (and now hoping you’ll be a little wondering, too) how am I saying, being HINENI to my family, my friends, my town, my state, my country, my world? How am I saying HINENI in a way that shows others how much they matter and that I am here? How am I answering THIS call?
It feels like we have lots of questions a few answers or is it really just this simple:
Why is the seemingly simple so complicated if not for my lack of
HINENI
Now
is so much more than saying a Word
or even hearing one
Looking at an inspiring picture
Gawking at a-should-never-be-seen-horrific-scene
We are way past AGREEING with this one
and DISAGREEING with that one
N O W
in our own individual way
with our own individual skills
It’s time to be an authentic, living
H I N E N I
and to be it profoundly
to Each’s
O T H E R
R E S O U R C E S
OH HOW WE ARE REACHING OUT THESE DAYS. . .
Reaching out to know
Reaching out to understand
Reaching out to receive
Reaching out to give
R E A C H I N G
And so this is one Caring Catalyst reaching out to other Caring Catalysts who are reaching to others just trying to make sense of everything that’s happened a little over this past week in Israel; with the big question:
WHO DO YOU TRUST
with the information you’re getting or dare, sharing. . . ?
I’ve always trusted the reputable sources of Greater Good Resources
and so directly from them
to me
I’m sharing the following
as I continue to send warm, healing thoughts to all
who read
who share
who join me in bringing
P E A C E
even if but one person at a time
Here are some gathered articles that explore the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; offer resources for well-being and activism; and remind us of human goodness by the Greater Good Editors:
Here at the Greater Good Science Center, the war between Israel and Hamas is provoking a range of emotions: sadness, anger, fear, and more. We’re reading the news every day and wishing that there were more we could do to help.
As an educational nonprofit, the best we can do, perhaps, is to remind ourselves and our readers that peace is always possible, the vast majority of people resist killing, even the most violent primates are capable of change, there are steps we can all take to bridge our differences, and activism can make the world a better place. We’ve gathered articles below to help you understand the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; get involved in activism; and support your well-being and your children’s—including reminders of human goodness in times of conflict.
If you’d like to find a more direct way to support the people of Israel and Gaza, here is an excellent list of organizations addressing the human crises that war creates. We hope you’ll consider making a donation to one of them.
Click to jump to a section:
Promoting peace and reconciliation
Reminders of human goodness
Political apology and forgiveness
Resources for well-being and activism
Resources for children’s well-being
Promoting peace and reconciliation
- What Can We Learn From the World’s Most Peaceful Societies?: A multidisciplinary team of researchers is discovering what makes some societies more peaceful than others.
- In a Divided World, We Need to Choose Empathy: It’s gotten harder to empathize; that’s why it’s so important we work at it. Luckily, we can.
- Eight Keys to Bridging Our Differences: There are many misconceptions about bridging differences, so we consulted with researchers and practitioners to clarify what it is—and what it isn’t.
- How War Shapes Our Attitudes About Violence: New studies are discovering that exposure to war can make violence more acceptable among civilians—but there might be ways to break the cycle.
- How to Resist Manipulation by Embracing All Your Identities: Learning to celebrate complex identities in ourselves and others could help make the world a better place.
- How Can We Make Politics Less Hostile?: A new study finds that when we practice intellectual humility, we have less animosity toward the “other side” of political debates.
- Can Contact Reduce Prejudice Even When You’re in Conflict?: A new study suggests that even when discrimination and fear of “the other” is rampant, contact between diverse groups can still reduce prejudice.
- How the Growth Mindset Can Increase Cooperation: In a new study, researchers saw Jewish- and Palestinian-Israeli students cooperating better after a simple lesson.
- What Makes a Good Interaction Between Divided Groups?: Intergroup contact can help bridge divides, under certain conditions.
- To Resolve Conflicts, Get Up and Move: Researcher Peter T. Coleman has found an unlikely path to peace: Move your body to help your mind get unstuck.
Reminders of human goodness
- Hope on the Battlefield: Military leaders know a secret: The vast majority of people are overwhelmingly reluctant to take a human life.
- In Search of the Moral Voice: What makes some people display altruism and compassion in the midst of war? Two researchers are trying to find out.
- Courage Under Fire: When the Bosnian civil war broke out, Svetlana Broz searched for the humanity behind the horrific headlines. She found stories of people who risked their lives to help victims of the war—and who inspired others to follow their example.
- Worlds Without War: Ethnographic studies find that not all societies make war. In other words, war is not intrinsic to humankind.
- Beyond Sex and Violence: Contrary to the typical view, violence is something humans resort to out of fear—or try to avoid altogether.
- Peace Among Primates: Anyone who says peace is not part of human nature knows too little about primates, including ourselves.
- Why Is There Peace?: Violence is declining, argues psychologist Steven Pinker. What are we doing right?
Political apology and forgiveness
- The Forgiveness Instinct: To understand the human potential for peace, we have to learn three simple truths about forgiveness and revenge.
- How Should a Group Apologize to People They Harmed?: A new study investigates which components of an apology foster forgiveness and reconciliation between groups.
- The Greatest Test: Forgiveness improves health and strengthens relationships. But can it help heal the scars of civil war?
- Making Peace Through Apology: Some apologies encourage forgiveness and reconciliation between groups and nations; others only make things worse. Here’s how to tell the difference.
- What Makes a Political Apology Seem Sincere?: When is a political apology likely to be well-received? A new study explores the contributing factors.
- Six Ways to Deal With Someone Who Wronged You: Here’s what we have learned from 25 years of research about forgiveness—and its alternatives.
Resources for well-being and activism
- Six Tips to Avoid Being Overwhelmed by the News: Here’s how to cope when all the negative news is triggering you.
- Is Love Better Than Anger for Social Change?: We can learn from the fly fishing industry, which shifted toward conservation thanks to decades of messaging about caring for nature.
- Need a Hero? Look Around You: We love to exalt heroic individuals. But in this historical moment, collective heroism is best suited to the challenges we face.
- How to Sustain Your Activism: These three principles can help activists avoid burnout and continue working toward a better world.
- One Way to Improve Teen Mental Health: Activism: A new study finds that teens involved in youth programs develop more critical reflection and take more action to fight injustice and inequality.
- How to Renew Your Compassion in the Face of Suffering: Mass suffering can make us feel helpless. Focusing on solutions, rather than emotions, may be the way out.
- How to Deepen Our Compassion for Refugees: When we face large numbers of people in need, we almost instinctively pull back. By questioning this reaction, we can make space for a more empathic response.
Resources for children’s well-being
- Nine Tips for Talking to Kids about Trauma: In the midst of tragedy, kids will have questions. How do we respond?
- How to Talk With Kids About Scary News: Researcher Abigail Gewirtz explains how parents can have conversations with kids about global conflict and humanitarian crises.
- Five Ways to Support Students Affected by Trauma: Teachers can help students recognize their strengths and build resilience.
- Can Parents Teach Peace?: A recent study suggests they can, at least some of the time.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .
Just how good can a candle be if it has no
R E F L E C A B I L I T Y
We are not called to obliterate the World’s darkness. . .
just to glow where we are
and share our flicker
to yet another willing wick. . .
I hope this Helps
THE HELPERS
I BELIEVE
I first heard this song when it was only sung by Andrea Bocelli all the way back when BORDERS knew no borders; I stood there listening to it on their headphones that allowed you to hear songs/cd’s before you purchased; BRILLIANT but even more so, was that I stood there and listened and listened and listened and listened until I just bought the compilation cd for just this ONE SONG. . .
Ohhhhhhh that these words may now become a prayer that it may sooner than soon become an ANSWERED/REALIZED PRAYER
I Believe”
One day I’ll hear
The laugh of children
In a world where war has been banned
One day I’ll see
Men of all colors
Sharing words of love and devotion
Stand up and feel
The Holy Spirit
Find the power of your faith
Open your heart
To those who need you
In the name of love and devotion
Yes, I believe
I believe in the people
Of all nations
To join and to care
For love
I believe in a world
Where light will guide us
And giving our love
We’ll make heaven on earth
I believe in the people
Of all nations
To join and to care
For love
I believe in a world
Where light will guide us
And giving our love
We’ll make heaven on earth
Yes, I believe
I believe in the people
Of all nations
To join and to care
For love
I believe in a world
Where light will guide us
And giving our love
We’ll make heaven on earth
I believe
Ohhhhhhh that these words
may now become a Prayer
that it may sooner than soon
become an
ANSWERED/REALIZED PRAYER. . .
BE THIS PRAYER
AN OBITUARY. . .LIVED
This is one of these movies that when I’m flipping through on a rainy Sunday afternoon and SERENDIPITY comes on, no matter where it’s at in the movie, I stop and I watch it till the end because of THIS SCENE and also mostly because I’m just a hopeless romantic, never seeking or wanting a cure.
It doesn’t matter that the movie Beverly shows its age having been released in 2001 and stars John Cusack, Kate Beckinsale and Jeremy Priven. I don’t pay much mind that it grossed some $77.5 million on a mere $28 million budget…I know what makes my heart beat differently and I’ll watch or listen to any thing that gives it
THAT BEAT. . .
You know, we all have a obituaries awaiting us; some happen actually after we die, but many, many more are written while we’re still living, and maybe the question is, “Would you rather a close friend, a loved one write an obituary for you or that you write it for yourself instead of someone writing it about you?
There are so many many beginnings and endings to our life; in our lives. I suppose an obituary can be written every day about that which is ended, that which remains, and that which begins again over and over and over again.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an Obituary to go live, playing the familiar
role of a jackass. . .
(on in other ways, some call fate and others celebrate as destiny )
THE ART OF DOING NOTHING
THERE IS AN ART TO DOING NOTHING. . .
I MEAN
N O T H I N G
that means, not listening to music or doodling or meditating or yoga or breath work or daydreaming or conniving or scheming or once-upon-a-timing or, Or, OR, ORRING
N O T H I N G
HUGE STACKED BOXES OF
n o t h i n g
. . .and so when I recently read I WANT TO BE UNPRODUCTIVE, a little piece from Danielle Coffyn, who has ever reason to be doing everything but NOTHING. Danielle is a writer, mother, teacher, mental health advocate, eating disorder survivor, and outdoor enthusiast. She started her poetry account @musingsonbeing in 2021 where she worked through her perfectionism by sharing rough drafts of her work. Her main themes include healing, feminism, rewilding, mental health, and reclaiming the body. She is a co-founder of The Superbloom Society, a community for anyone looking to build authentic, intentional connection through writing workshops and retreats.
I WANT TO BE UNPRODUCTIVE
to ponder the meaning of yellow. to listen as summer cicadas sing their final symphony of the season. to dine with friends. to savor course after course. to inhale the scent of San Marzano tomatoes bathed in balsamic brine. to taste vanilla bean gelato and espresso marry on my tongue. to study the morning habits of a neighborhood robin. to plunge blistered toes into sun-ripened sand. to float in the sea. to feel my heartbeat slow to the rhythm of the tide. to memorize the laugh lines of a California redwood. to spend a morning rereading stories from childhood. to determine which song most resembles a honey bee collecting lavender pollen. to observe a spider spinning her web. to chart freckled constellations along my child’s spine. to taste test every croissant in the city. to rest for the sole purpose of slowing down. to savor stillness. to allow myself the gift of being.
Psssssssssssssssssst:
WE ALL KNOW WHERE TO GET OUR WAX. . .
but the best is when you do a
SACRED NOTHINGNESS
that’ll have
THE FLAME
coming to the WICK
instead of the candle chasing it in the wind. . .
WHEN YOUR PLANTED FEET SOAR
Photo by Daniel Klein on Unsplash |
|
Once upon a time, you were disappointed with your life. You worked hard all the time without success or satisfaction. One day, feeling very frustrated and tired, you walked away from your home and took yourself into the forest. Or to the top of a mountain. Or into the crowded city streets. There you encountered a wise woman, though you didn’t yet know she was wise. “I’m so glad that our paths have crossed,” she said to you, out of the blue. “What brings you here?” Touched by the stranger’s kindly spirit, you confessed to her your discouragement. She was a deep, un-judgemental listener. When you’d finished your story, you tossed your hands in the air and said, “Why shouldn’t I just give up?” The wise woman pointed nearby where two plants were growing. “You see that fern and that Chinese bamboo? I gave both of them all that they required to grow. The fern grew quickly. The bamboo did not.” “But the bamboo tree is so tall!” you exclaimed, craning your neck to see the top. The wise woman laughed. “I nurtured it for four years with nothing to show for it. In the fifth year, it grew almost ninety feet within two months.” Your jaw drops open in amazement. “How is that possible?” “The little tree first had to grow in a hidden way. It had to develop a strong root system for the day when it would stretch into the sky.” She smiled gently. “There is only one thing more patient than the waiting sky.” “What?” you asked. “The ground where you plant your feet.” (My thanks to the old storytellers who passed on this tale so I could retell it in my own way.)  |
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