Y U M S
A simple SNICKERS Candy Bar
in the supermarket
is worth about $0.50 on sale. . .
The same bottle in a bar costs $1 in a vending machineIn an airport gift shop or hotel it can be worth up to $3 or maybe even more. . .
The SNICKERS bar is the same, the only thing that changes is the
P L A C E
Each place gives a different value to the same product.
When you feel like you are worth nothing
and everyone around you belittles you,
CHANGE PLACES
DO NOT
stay there. . .
Have the courage to change places
and go to a place
where you are given
the value you deserve. . .
Surround yourself
with people who really appreciate
YOUR WORTH. . .
Don’t settle for less!
and ABRACADABRA
You will find
YOUR MORE
will add to Some One Else’s
L E S S. . .Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
SNICKER
SNICKER
An Original Caring Catalyst
Look familiar. . .
Even remotely aware of him. . .
The following might not be much more of a clue
to the World
or even to a select few:
On July 1, 2021, Rev. Dr. Roger Raymond Fischer, of Washington, was taken by God’s twin Angels, Goodness and Mercy, who came to pick Roger up, and they did. So God wrapped his arms around Roger and said, “Well done Good and Faithful Servant.” His was a life well done. Born June 1, 1941, in Washington, he was the son of Raymond and Louise Gartley Fischer.
Roger was a 1959 graduate of Washington High School. While in college, Roger worked as an American Red Cross, YMCA life guard and saving and swimming instructor. Roger received a Bachelor of Arts in Mathematics and Physics from Washington and Jefferson College in 1963. He received a Master’s Degree with Honors from the Lutheran Seminary at Gettysburg in 1991. In 1998, he was granted a Doctor of Ministry Degree from the Pittsburgh Theological Seminary as the author of “Christian Advocacy and the Local Congregation.” Roger was ordained January 13, 1990, in First Lutheran Church, Washington. He served numerous churches in Southwestern Pennsylvania and West Virginia. The last congregations that he served were Calvary Lutheran in Scenery Hill, Buena Vista Presbyterian and Hyland Brotheran.
While working as a research engineer for Jones and Laughlin Steel, Roger was elected to the Pennsylvania House of Representatives from the 47th District, serving from 1966 to his retirement in 1988. At age 25 he was one of the youngest members to serve in the history of the Pennsylvania General Assembly, serving also as Chairman of the House Education Committee and on the State Board of Education. Roger served for nine terms as President of the Association of Retired Pennsylvania House of Representatives and Senate Members. He was elected to the Washington School Board in 1965 and inducted into the Pennsylvania Voter Hall of Fame for voting in every primary and general election since 1962.
Commissioned in 1966, Roger served as a Lieutenant Colonel U.S. Air Force Reserve. He was a member of the American Legion Post 175, 40 et 8, Sons of the American Revolution, and Sons of the American Revolution Chaplain. He was a Boy Scout merit badge counselor and a member of the Order of the Arrow. Roger was also a member of the Washington Lodge No, 164 Free & Accepted Masons, Washington Royal Arch Chapter No. 150, Jacques DeMolay Commandery No. 3 Knights Templar, and Noble of the Syria Shrine.
Roger enjoyed a lifetime of sports and fitness as demonstrated by becoming a two time finisher of the Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii. Additionally, he ran many other triathlons and marathons including Boston (four times), New York (four times), Pittsburgh, Honolulu and Philadelphia. At age 74, Roger completed the Disney World Marathon. He was a member of the Pennsylvania Council on Physical Fitness and was founder and race director of the “Washington Express” 10K run. In 2008, he bicycled across America in sections. Roger was inducted in Washington-Greene Chapter of the Pennsylvania Sports Hall of Fame and was unanimously elected to the Executive Committee. Roger was a life member of the Appalachian Trail Club, Keystone Trail Association, Warrior’s Trail Association and the Maine Appalachian Trail Club. Across 32 years, hiking in sections, Roger completed the entire 2,174.1 mile Appalachian Trail on September 17, 2004.
In 1998, Roger received an Honorary Doctor of Divinity from Washington and Jefferson College and delivered the Baccalaureate sermon for his son Steven’s commencement. In 1994, Roger delivered the main address for W&J’s Honors Convocation.
Roger treasured his time with his family. He enjoyed world traveling with his wife Kitty to places such as Europe, South Africa, Australia, Tahiti and China. He was very happy to have visited all the continents except Antarctica.
Roger is survived by Catherine “Kitty” Trettel Fischer, his wife of 48 years; two sons, Roger Raymond II (Marcia) and Steven Gregory (Heather); and a daughter, Catherine “Katy” (John) Herold; and five grandchildren, Abigail, John “Jack” and Maxwell Fischer, and Elijah and Ezekiel Herold; and a brother, Terry.
Obituaries are almost the Charlie Brown teacher of the newspaper or what’s left of them. They are the Wawa Wawa Wawa summations of Someone’s life. At best, they provide a summary of how a person was; what they leave behind, and specifically who is most affected because of their death. But make no mistake, there’s much, very much that they leave out.
Roger’s obituary gave no smidgen of a hint of all of the lives he Touched, specifically mine. I’ve heard it said that when we are born each of us are given a fingerprint which is distinctive to ourselves; it’s a fingerprint that no one else has or can ever have so that we can make an imprint on other lives that no one else can or ever will. Roger more than did that for, TO ME!
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know Roger; but specifically he was a Sunday school teacher of mine in seventh and eighth grade and also taught our Catechism class at First Lutheran Church in Washington, Pennsylvania. It was there that I remember one Saturday morning when I was not allowed to go to basketball practice because I had to go to Catechism class at 9 o’clock in the morning and I literally erupted in the class, complaining about how stupid this was and how much I did not want to be there and how I really HATED the Church; ANY CHURCH! Even though there was about 14 or 15 in the class, Roger treating me like I was the only one that was there that day, at that moment and he didn’t react; he responded. The fact he congratulated me and told me how brave it was for me to speak my truth was huge and affirming. And then, with one simple question, he convicted, changed my life path:
“WHY DON’T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?”
Which made me irrupt even further as if you could reload a fire crackers it was already burning hot.
“DO SOMETHING,!” I yelled. “I’M JUST 13 YEARS OLD! WHAT CAN I DO?”
And again, in pure Roger fashion, he replied back as if I was the only person there, the only person in the World that had his ear, his attention:
“ANOTHER GOOD POINT, CHARLIE, (something I hated anyone to call me) BUT IT HAS BEEN MY EXPERIENCE IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE SOMETHING, YOU DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT FROM THE OUTSIDE, YOU GO INSIDE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!”
B U S T E D
and even more
C O N V I C T E D
Up until that point when people would ask me, “what are you gonna do when you grow up?” I would, without hesitation answer, I was going to be a professional basketball player and I was going to be a teacher and a coach but never, no way ever, EVER a minister.
Now countless times over the past nearly 50 years when people ask me why did you become a minister, they kind of wait for me to give him this great spiritual, unbelievable mountaintop experience testimony, and instead I tell them it’s because I hate the church and then I tell them the story about Roger and me one Saturday morning at a Catechism class that I didn’t want to be at, but now ever so grateful that I attended that day.
We kept in touch throughout the years and he knew the personal impact of that story because I made sure that I told him and with every chance that I got and profusely thanked him and the times I blamed him for what he did to me by making me go into the ministry. He told me never to expect an apology and I told him I wasn’t asking for one.
So after all the Wawa Wawa Wawa Wawa–ing of a Charlie Brown teacher during this blog, you may still not know personally Roger Raymond Fisher, or even care that much, but mine is a shore his Tsunami has radically wrecked that made it impossible to rebuild in a way my imagination could ever conjure up; it’s caused severely significant after shocks that have created tidal waves in me that have touched countless other shores, Roger had no understanding or fathoming; still are. Little did I know that Roger was A Caring Catalyst long before I knew what one was, let alone striving to be a better one each day. There’s only five true words that are left to be said by me. But oh my, are they most sincere:
THANK YOU;
SEE YOU LATER
WAWAWA THAT, Charlie
A HALLELUJAH MEMORIAL DAY
Happy Memorial Day.
How can you assure it?
One simple word:
R E-M E M B E R I N G
–literally, by putting together the Pieces of your Life that have meaning and significance to you the Ones who make those Memories worth
RE-Membering–Putting back together. . .
The World will debate and argue, but the greatest forces in and out of this World
are our Memories and the Love that makes those memories
significant,
meaningful
and always worth
observing and celebrating. . .
It’s easy to
J U S T
Limit these Memories to our Veterans
or for those who have recently died,
but any day we truly
RE-Member,
that we actually put together those snipets of
Once Upon a Times
and ‘Remember When’s’
that put all those glorious colors to the
Tapestry of our Lives,
becomes a true Memorial Day.
Like any Holiday,
it really is celebrated most,
not so much on it’s Noted,
Dated Day,
but when fully Recognized,
Realized,
Revitalized
again and again and again with,
yes, that one single,
beautiful thing called
M e m o r y
So, on this Memorial Day,
R E – M E M B E R :
It’s not enough for us to just merely
Remember,
but for us to just simply Re-Member one thought,
one memory
past Eternity.
T r u l y:
Give thanks not so much for those who have died;
but for those who still fully live within us all. . .
F i v e W o r d s:
H a p p y M e m o r i a l D a y. . .
T H A N K
Y O U
TUDE IT UP
It’s more than a turkey dinner and a huge slice of pumpkin pie on the last Thursday of November
T H A N K S G I V I N G
It’s more than the words
GRATIS and GRATONITE
between the word
G R A T I T U D E
in the Dictionary. . .
it’s the TUDE of all TUDES
Can Gratitude Help You Live More Sustainably
makes it all the more
T U D I E R
A new study suggests that when people give thanks, they’re less likely to overdraw from shared resources.
ELIZABETH SVOBODA, is a writer in San Jose, CA and regular contributor to the GREATER GOOD MAGAZINE and the author of WHAT MAKES A HERO? THE SURPRISING SCIENCE OF SELFLESSNESS, pulls back the curtain of GRATITUDE and lets us know that it’s much more than a word or a feeling. . .
Among the first visual symbols of the COVID-19 pandemic were grocery store shelves picked clean by shoppers hoarding pasta and toilet paper. The bare shelves revealed a deeply ingrained human tendency—to grasp for all that’s left when supplies run low.
As climate change puts a strain on crop yields and drinking water stores, these kinds of feeding frenzies could become the new normal. But they’re not inevitable: New research from Northeastern University suggests that when people feel grateful for what they have, they’re less likely to overdraw from a shrinking pool of resources. The study “provides initial evidence that gratitude is useful in nudging sustainable behavior,” says graduate student Shanyu Kates, the paper’s first author.
Kates’s findings suggest that practicing gratitude could curb our collective tendency to take more than our share, says psychologist Scott Allison of the University of Richmond.
“Gratitude led to less greedy and more generous choices,” says Allison, who was not involved in the research. “What’s really impressive is how the investigators were able to demonstrate that it was gratitude itself, not the happiness that results from gratitude, which produces more prosocial [kind and helpful] behavior.”
A depleted commons
Sustainable-living promoters tend to run up against what ecologist Garrett Hardin called the “tragedy of the commons”: People hoard resources to ensure they can meet their own needs, but the resulting scarcity takes a toll on everyone’s well-being. (TOILET PAPER, ANYONE)
Kates and her advisor, Northeastern social psychologist David DeSteno, wanted to explore possible ways to forestall this kind of tragedy. In one study, they recruited 155 undergraduate students and induced gratitude in one group by having them write about a time when they felt grateful. The remaining control-group students wrote about events from a typical day.
After this writing exercise, all the participants took part in a game where they decided how many resource points to extract from a collective bank. The game started with a common pool of 200 points. “For each round of the game, we tell them, ‘You can take out a certain amount of points—between zero and 10—and whatever is taken out goes to you,’” Kates says.
To make sure people valued the points, experimenters told the students that the more points they extracted, the more likely they were to win a $200 cash prize. Throughout the game, participants could see how many points other players had taken and how many points were left. After each round was played, the researchers boosted the point bank by 10% to mimic the regeneration of real-life resources.
When Kates and DeSteno tallied the results, a significant difference emerged between the gratitude group and the control group. Control participants took significantly more points from the pool when they saw it draining rapidly. Grateful participants, however, took about the same number of points no matter how quickly the pool was shrinking.
In a second, related study, Kates and DeSteno divided 224 participants into three groups. One wrote about gratitude and another about a happy time in their lives. The control group wrote about their daily routine.
Just as in the first study, the gratitude group refrained from overdrawing resources in the game even when they were draining quickly. Feeling happy, however, didn’t inspire people to show the same kind of restraint.
“If you’re in a neutral or a happy state, you increase your point taking when the pool is depleting,” Kates says. “But for gratitude, this effect becomes erased. It doesn’t matter if others around you are over-taking and the pool is depleting—you won’t over-take [from the pool] yourself.”
The sustaining power of gratitude
Kates and DeSteno’s study didn’t specifically address why grateful people may be more apt to behave sustainably than those who simply feel good. But past research, Kates points out, suggests that happiness sometimes drives us to become more self-centered as we seek out situations that promise even more happiness.
“When you’re feeling happy, you might not want to sacrifice by taking less and conserving for the group,” Kates says. Picture a rat at a sugar-water dispenser—once it’s had a taste of uncomplicated sweetness, it returns to that same dispenser over and over.
Gratitude, on the other hand, has promoted both well-being and social awareness in multiple experiments. In a University of California–Riverside study where high school students spent 10 minutes a week writing letters of gratitude to friends, coaches, and other influential people, they reported feeling more satisfied with their lives and more connected to others around them than members of a control group.
That sense of connectedness could help inspire generous or sustainable action. In a meta-analysis reviewing 91 studies, researchers at the U.K.’s University of Nottingham found a strong relationship between gratitude and prosocial behavior of different kinds.
“Sustainability really requires action for future benefit as well as collective benefit,” Kates says. “Gratitude promotes these dimensions—it makes us behave more prosocially, and it makes us more cooperative with others.”
Something akin to the reciprocity principle may also be at work: When someone gives something to you, you naturally feel compelled to give something back. In the same way, when people feel grateful for good fortune or for contributions others have made to their lives, they may be more likely to take a “pay it forward” approach and look for ways to contribute to the common good.
Future interventions
The observed connection between gratitude and sustainable behavior means that gratitude exercises could potentially help keep the planet livable over the long term. “If we are fortunate enough to live in a part of the world that offers us clean, drinkable water, let’s be grateful each time we use it,” Allison says. “With the desertification of the western U.S., this simple practice of gratitude on a mass level may forestall disaster.”
However, Kates says, more research needs to be done to clarify which aspects of gratitude might promote sustainable behavior and why. She is planning a new study that examines how individual players’ behavior during the resource game affects the behavior of others around them. “Does a group of grateful people fare better in the game than those where none of them are grateful? And what happens if only one person in the group is feeling grateful? Is that enough to shift others’ behaviors?”
If grateful people turn out to set a behavioral lead for others to follow, a group might ultimately reach a sustainable “immunity threshold,” so to speak: a new social norm that encourages judicious resource use even in members who aren’t naturally inclined to care about such things.
“It’s promising to think about and measure how cultivating long-term gratitude through daily practice may be useful in this battle against climate change,” Kates says, “and be able to be the tipping point for large-scale behavioral changes.”
It’s the TUDE of all TUDE’s
. . .unless it’s not;
The Difference?
Y O U
Uhhhhhhh, Now for that piece of Pie. . .
FRIEND
OUR FRIEND tells the inspiring and extraordinary true story of the Teague family—journalist Matt (Casey Affleck), his vibrant wife Nicole (Dakota Johnson) and their two young daughters—and how their lives are upended by Nicole’s heartbreaking diagnosis of terminal cancer. As Matt’s responsibilities as caretaker and parent become increasingly overwhelming, the couple’s best friend Dane Faucheux (Jason Segel) offers to come and help out. As Dane puts his life on hold to stay with his friends, the impact of this life altering decision proves greater and more profound than anyone could have imagined. . .
S H O C K E R!!!!
I love the
gots-to-have-a-box-of-tissues-to-watch-this-movie
Kind of movies
but the ones that require the most tissues
are the ones who remind me
not who I could be,
b u t
WHO I COULD BE MORE OF
(KIND OF LIKE)
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
The best kind of a movie based on a true story is the
THE ONE YOU’RE STILL MAKING. . .
QUIET ON THE SET.
READY.
ACTION.
CUT.
THAT’S A (ongoing) WRAP
It’s time to be WHO YOU ARE for another,
not who you were
or who you’re going to be
but just simply,
beautifully who you are:
A FRIEND
A Caring Catalyst
UMBRELAING
Inspired by true events and filled with messages of empathy and hope, Umbrella follows Joseph’s story, a boy who lives in an orphanage and dreams of having a yellow Umbrella. 2021 Oscar® Qualified Animated Short Film. . .
And yet
. . .it seems so much more than a
T H A T
When we stretch just a little
out of our Comfort Zone
or our own too familiar
OrDINarY
we may find
a whole new way of
UMBREALING
. . .sheltering;
If we only recognized
If we only noticed
If we only knew
If we only acted
That we all walk under the same umbrella
Maybe
Just maybe we would
Walk a little slower
Snuggle a little closer
Stay a lot dryer
Keep a lot warmer
Feel so much less lonely
BE SO MUCH BETTER. . .
You have the utmost capacity
to prove the
GREATEST SHELTER
is the
E A C H
to the
O T H E R
( DO IT )
ENOUGH
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
It’s really hard to
S H U S H
especially this time of the year
and it’s almost impossible to
KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT
YOUR EYES CLOSED
YOU EARS OPEN
all at once
but
before you listen to this song again
read the lyrics:
I Have Enough By JJ Heller, David Heller, and Taylor Leonhardt
There’s a box up in the attic
Full of treasures from my past
Paper snowmen from a season
Melting into spring too fast
Clay and glitter, wood and glue
May not seem like much to you
It reminds me of
All the ones I love
When I think of them
I think I have enough
We may not live up in the mountains
Like we always wanted to
But this old house shines like a diamond
With Christmas lights hung on the roof
It might not be the life I dreamed
But it’s become my favorite scene
It reminds me of
All the ones I love
When I think of them
I think have enough
Everything I want this Christmas
Doesn’t cost a single thing
Cookies baking in the kitchen
Hearing little voices sing
Tell the story once again
Peace on earth, goodwill to men
It reminds me of
All the ones I love
When I think of them
I think I have enough
It reminds me of
All the ones I love
When I think of them
I think I have enough
. . .AND
just what does three ties have to do with
THAT SONG. . . ?
EVERYTHING!
I’ve had those ties for years
but not for as long as they’ve actually been created. . .
The two on the left
are between 65-70 years old
. . .I inherited from my grandfather
and rarely wear them
because they are fragile
and I don’t want the last time I tie them
to be the last time I tie them. . .
The tie on the far right
is my father-in-law’s
that I inherited shortly after he died
and no one in the family wanted it
. . .none of them
would make the cover of
G Q
but they continue to flutter through the pages
of my mind
in a most gentle
but powerful way
that makes me feel close
to both of these men
ESPECIALLY AT CHRISTMAS
when I realize
much like
J J Heller’s song,
I HAVE ENOUGH
. . .What takes you
T H E R E
what song
what food
what smell
what word
what texture
what piece of clothing
what scene
what feeling
takes you way past
that box in the attic
out of your head
and into your heart
of memories
that makes you feel:
I HAVE ENOUGH
. . .more importantly
what song
what food
what smell
what word
what texture
what piece of clothing,
what scene
what feeling
WILL YOU BE SHARING
that’ll keep you out of some
attic box
past someone’s memory
but burrowed deep
into their heart
and forever
in the delicate
l a c e s
of their
soul
that’ll forever make them feel:
I
H A V E
E N O U G H
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
GIVE THAT
(no receipts or returns necessary)
APPRECIATORY DAY
S O
What will
Y O U
give the most
THANKS
for tomorrow on
THANKSGIVING DAY
very much in the thick of
the-ongoing-seemingly-never-ending-when-ever-are-we-going-to-get-cure
p a n d e m i c
or if you literally
FLIP THE COIN:
What’s the one thing you’re THANKFUL for because of COVID19?
and then there’s the obvious:
How Do We Celebrate Thanksgiving in a Pandemic?
We might not be able to gather for Thanksgiving this year—but that doesn’t mean we can’t make the holiday count. . .
JILL SUTTIE, a journalist from GREATER GOOD made me begin thinking about THANKSGIVING, er, APPRECIATORY DAY
This year’s Thanksgiving dinner is going to look a bit different for most of us and my families.
With COVID-19 cases on the rise, none of that which happened in years past are literally YEARS PAST US. Like most people, we’ve had to revise our holiday plans to keep all the important people in our life safe.
It’s a disappointment, for sure. But what can we do about it? Is there any way to make this Thanksgiving something more than a mere shadow of itself?
W E L L—just look to the science of meaning and connection. Finding ways to enhance our mood, foster closeness, remember what we’re thankful for, and savor the positive can all help preserve the wonder of the holiday (albeit in its new incarnation).
Here are some ideas to make this Thanksgiving holiday special, even during COVID.
Use ritual to enhance connections and emotions
Many families have Thanksgiving traditions that make the holiday special. Maybe you always watch Thanksgiving Day football games together or spend the morning together tearing up bread for stuffing. Perhaps you make a special dish or bring out your favorite candlesticks made by your kids when they were in Kindergarten.
Whatever rituals you’ve developed over the years, try to preserve them. There is a benefit to performing rituals together that goes beyond sentimentality or nostalgia: They imbue the holiday with meaning and help us feel closer to others.
Rituals are pretty easy to put together, too, if you need some new ones. When creating a ritual, the main objective is having a shared experience that has emotional resonance for the people involved. A ritual can take many forms, whether it’s lighting candles and making a wish for the holiday, singing a song or saying a prayer before dinner, or watching a great, uplifting movie after the feast is over. The key is that the experience has meaning and is emotionally engaging so that it bonds you to others.
Of course, old rituals may have to be tweaked if we are only gathering online. For example, celebrant, Jan Stanley, recommends that if you are gathering on Zoom, try to not just plunge into socializing, but take a moment to focus everyone’s attention somehow, perhaps explaining the plans for the evening and what you hope to do. You could create emotional highs by asking people to go around and say their favorite Thanksgiving memory, listening to a special playlist during dinner, or sharing photos of each other in the chat. If your family members are football fans, you could try watching a game concurrently, chatting away online during the play.
Savor the sensory experiences of the holiday
One thing that makes Thanksgiving so special is its sensory richness. The smell of fresh roasted turkey, the sight of a candlelit table, the taste of a pecan pie. All of these sensory experiences can be a real pleasure, enhancing the joy of the holiday.
Too often, though, we rush through Thanksgiving—even the feast itself—not truly enjoying it. This is a mistake, when you can so easily enhance your pleasure by taking your time and purposefully savoring the experience.
How to do that? One way is to practice mindful eating, slowing down and deliberately tasting each bite of food. This involves turning your attention to your food as you eat it, letting the tastes linger on your tongue, and noting the variety of flavors and textures.
You can also take a moment to consider how the food got to your table—the people who grew it, delivered it, and prepared it for you, or the earth, water, and sunshine that made the food possible in the first place. A little mindful eating can really enhance your Thanksgiving pleasure and even make you more aware of when your appetite is sated, preventing uncomfortable overeating.
Walking after dinner, as so many of us do on Thanksgiving, can also be enhanced by doing a savoring walk. Not only will you feel better for getting a little exercise and fresh air, but walking with an appreciation of the beauty and wonder of the world around you should help to enhance positive feelings.
Expand your sense of community
Every year around Thanksgiving, our family would find ways to give back to our community, often doing something within our Church Community that would help us reach out past ourselves to others not all that far removed from us and then REMEMBERING that NEED is always there, THANKSGIVING DAY or not. Some of those experiences were actually volunteering. Although volunteer opportunities are often no longer available because of COVID, we can still practice generosity and kindness, helping to create a sense of community beyond the walls of our homes.
First, you can seek out opportunities that still exist, if you feel safe doing so. In my local community, for example, there is a program at St Augustine that feeds hundreds of people every day, including the weekends that make it their CALL to do so on Thanksgiving Day, now not by congregating large masses of people together,but actually delivering meals to homes and the homeless alike and they always need DELIVERERS. When there’s a WANT-TO, you’ll always find a HOW-TO on where to share or give your talents. You can also look on nationalwebsites to find ways to give back.
Even if you can’t volunteer, you can still donate to programs that target the needy. Volunteering or donating might help you take your mind off of what you’re lacking this Thanksgiving and tune into the joy of helping others.
It’s also important to remember that people need more than just food to make Thanksgiving special. During this past year, many people in high-risk groups have had to isolate themselves. Reach out to those who are alone and could use a friendly phone call to know that you care. Seniors in your family or in your neighborhood, in particular, should be on your radar.
Also, remember that many of us are more stressed out than usual, because we haven’t been able to do many of the things that help us to feel calmer and more connected. Certainly, you should do what you can to be calm and happy yourself, as those feelings tend to spread to those around you. But also, if you find that people seem more irritable than usual, take a deep breath and try responding with kindness. Give them the benefit of the doubt, which will help prevent an escalation of negativity.
Put “thanks” at the center of your Thanksgiving
Many of us are feeling less grateful than usual because of what we’ve suffered under the pandemic. Even worse, you may be grieving a loss, worried about your finances, or feeling lonely because of isolation. There’s no point in trying to ignore that reality. Instead, it can help to name your feelings and practice self-compassion, remembering to be kind and understanding toward yourself.
But feeling sad or worried doesn’t have to be the whole story of your Thanksgiving, either. While not denying those feelings, we can tip our minds and hearts in other directions by purposefully cultivating positive emotions—among them, gratitude.
Why gratitude? Well, besides being right in the name of the holiday, gratitude provides several benefits, even in hard times. For one, it makes us feel a deeper sense of well-being; when we tap into gratitude, we feel a welling up of warmth and love. And, as research shows, expressing gratitude helps us feel closer to others, and that’s a lot of what we really want from the holiday.
If you need ideas on how to practice gratitude, look to our website, Greater Good in Action. You can also simply go around your Thanksgiving table (or your family Zoom) and offer each person an opportunity to express one thing they are grateful for, even BECAUSE OF COVID19. Or maybe you just want to ask: WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THANKSGIVING MEMORY or WHAT’S THE BEST GIFT YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED or WHAT’S THE BEST BOOK YOU’VE EVER READ or IF YOU COULD MEET YOUR GREAT GRANDCHILDREN, WHAT WISDOM WOULD YOU PASS ON TO THEM, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW or IF YOU COULD SPEND ONE DAY DOING A JOB THAT YOU ARE NOT CURRENTLY DOING, WHAT WOULD YOU DO or WHAT’S THE ONE THING YOU’RE THE MOST GRATEFUL FOR THAT YOU’VE NEVER SHARED?
It may seem hard at first to think of something, but don’t forget the small things you might otherwise take for granted, like the smile on your child’s face, the beauty of a first snow, or your sense of taste that allows you to enjoy your meal. Or you might pay homage to the Native American people who were here first and knew how to tend the land.
We all have something we can be grateful for. If we’re able to, turning our minds toward the positive can brighten up an otherwise difficult Thanksgiving.
Even with all of these ideas for preserving the Thanksgiving holiday spirit under the cloud of COVID, it won’t be the same. Like many people, I look forward to the day when we can gather again. In the meantime, I hope that by imbuing the holiday with a little gratitude, kindness, ritual, and savoring, it can still be a joyful occasion.
JOIN ME
Remember this Thanksgiving
to be just a little better, a little kinder, a little more loving, a little more compassionate, a little more forgiving, a little more understanding,
JUST A LITTLE MORE
than
M O S T
it’ll not just make all the difference this Thanksgiving
IT WILL MAKE ALL OF THE DIFFERENCE
(p e r i o d)
25 Years and SO MUCH MORE
25 of anything is a good amount
but 25 years
well, now,
that’s even more of a profound number
and account. . .
A QUARTER OF A CENTURY
25 Years and more. . .
So very, very much more
I began serving North Royalton Christian Church on January 15, 1995, knowing that I NEEDED to have a part-time position to supplement my income having jumped from a full-time Senior Minister position at Westlake Christian Church and a part-time chaplain’s position at St. John Westshore Hospital to a Spiritual Care Coordinator’s position at Hospice of the Western Reserve. It was a JUMP then and now I don’t regret even though it was a major change for me and the family. I NEEDED to have this position more than I WANTED to have the position and when Susan Cash, an Elder and also one of the primary people on the Search Committee, stood up this past Sunday in Church and marked the occasion with some fabulous and humbling remarks, (which can be seen at the bottom of this post in full taken from the February Church Newsletter) It only summoned the memory to recall things that the weight of, buckles knees and humbles the heart.
I thought 25 years ago, I NEEDED North Royalton Christian Church for the supplemental income when there have been few moments in those 25 years that have failed to remind me that I NEEDED North Royalton Christian Church for so very much more, and oh, oh how they have delivered in more ways that we will all fail to fully comprehend. My best moments (and hopefully, theirs) is when we have lived in full, vivid living color that I am not THE minister of North Royalton Christian Church, but actually and fully, A MINISTER of the church and our greatest achievements and even failings, have been when we’ve seen each other that way. WE, US, not I or me, do the ministry of the church. In essence, they made me A Caring Catalyst before I knew the true definition on one.
Maybe it’s ironic, but as we are celebrating 25 years of ministry together, I am also looming on celebrating 40 years of being ordained this May. In such a profound and powerful way I fully KNOW that I’m not just a sum total of all the pieces/parts/experiences that make me up, but literally, all of the lives who have made my life, MY LIFE.
What excites and motivates me now is that there are still lives, pieces, parts, and experiences that continue to be added, to further, and not just expand or make my tapestry, but actually BE MY TAPESTRY. A single thread a tapestry does not make. I’m so richly consecrated to have that proven moment by moment and better still, person by person.
Much in the same vein of Robert Frost’s poem, STOPPING BY THE WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING, I so much embody the last verse:
THE WOODS ARE LOVELY, DARK AND DEEP,
BUT I HAVE PROMISES TO KEEP,
AND MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP,
AND MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP.
In a way that echoes those very sentiments, Susan ended her much appreciated remarks with a quote by an author I’ve never really read, Ursula Le Guin. It comes from her novel, ALWAYS COMING HOME:
“When I take you to the Valley, you’ll see the blue hills on the left and the blue hills on the right, the rainbow and the vineyards under the rainbow late in the rainy season, and maybe you’ll say, ‘There it is, that’s it!’ But I’ll say, ‘A little further.’ We’ll go on, I hope and you’ll see the roofs of the little towns and the hillsides yellow with wild oats, a buzzard soaring and a woman singing by the shadows of a creek in the dry season, and maybe you’ll say, ‘Let’s stop here, this is it!’ But I’ll say, ‘A little further yet.’ And we’ll go on, a you’ll hear a quail calling on the mountain by the springs of the river, and looking back you’ll see the river running downward through the wild hills behind, below, and you’ll say, ‘Isn’t that the Valley?’ And all I will be able to say is, ‘Drink this water of the spring, rest here awhile, we have a long way yet to go without you.’”
I know that my best steps are the ones I’ve never taken alone
but in sync with others
and that the ones to be taken
could be the best ones
still yet to come
with the promise
that those taken long after my last step
could be the very best yet
even more
because of any step I’ve walked along with others
. . .those are the steps
that keep marching forward
. . .ALL-WAYS forward
advancing
inspiring other steps
to be taken
experienced
s h a r e d
25 Years
and More
so very, very much
M O R E
that shows you the difference between
N O T I C I N G
and
K N O W I N G
I have been so magnificently blessed
in experiencing both
and the best part–
I still do
I still am
WE ARE HUMBLY APPRECIATIVE
Thank you
January 26, 2020
In Honor of Chuck and Erin’s 25th Anniversary
In January 1995, we didn’t have GPS. There was no Febreze or Swiffer. Selfies & texting didn’t exist because there were no smart phones. Invisible braces were far off in the future. There was no Wikipedia, Google or Facebook and online banking and shopping at Amazon were not yet available.
If you were attending NRCC in early January of 1995, you know we didn’t have a minister either until later in the month. That’s when Chuck joined us.
Over the years, Chuck has presented about 1200 sermons to us. He doesn’t preach, he tells parables—I remember one of his first Sundays here he told us about a character in his hometown who the towns’ people called Ugly. It was a very touching and dramatic story. Chuck has delivered a sermon from the top of a ladder; he’s come dressed as a bum; was an Elvis impersonator; has been Paul, Peter, and Judas; and he often sings his sermons. Once his niece sat in our congregation as a homeless person.
I don’t think he has ever repeated a sermon let alone repeated a theme.
And standing alongside Chuck is Erin—we got a twofer—two special gifts to this congregation. We thank God for sending you both to us. You’ll never know how much we appreciate your devotion, your dedication, your love, your spirit, your teachings, and your wisdom.
I was watching a program about the writer Ursula Le Guin recently and the program ended with her reading from her novel Always Coming Home. I think her words speak to Chuck and Erin’s ministry here:
“When I take you to the Valley, you’ll see the blue hills on the left and the blue hills on the right, the rainbow and the vineyards under the rainbow late in the rainy season, and maybe you’ll say, “There it is, that’s it!” But I’ll say. “A little farther.” We’ll go on, I hope, and you’ll see the roofs of the little towns and the hillsides yellow with wild oats, a buzzard soaring and a woman singing by the shadows of a creek in the dry season, and maybe you’ll say, “Let’s stop here, this is it!” But I’ll say, “A little farther yet.” We’ll go on, and you’ll hear the quail calling on the mountain by the springs of the river, and looking back you’ll see the river running downward through the wild hills behind, and you’ll say, “Isn’t that the Valley?” And all I will be able to say is “Drink this water of the spring, rest here awhile, we have a long way yet to go and I can’t go without you.”
Thank you Chuck and Erin
Written by Susan Cash
A TRUE(ER) GRATITUDE BLESSING
It’s often read
bedside at the time of death
with family circling the bed of their loved one:
A GRATITUDE BLESSING
We bless your hair that the wind has played with
We bless your brow, no longer furrowed, now at peace
We bless your mind, all of the loving thoughts
We bless your eyes that have looked on us with love
We bless your ears that listened for our voices
We bless your nostrils, gateway of breath
We bless your lips that have spoken truth and kissed us a thousand times
We bless your neck and throat, we will remember your voice
We bless your shoulders that have borne burdens with strength
We bless your arms that have embraced us
We bless your hands that have shaped wonders
We bless your chest that sustained your life and nurtured us in strength
We bless your heart that loved us
We bless your belly, storehouse of the body
We bless your thighs for their strong foundation
We bless your knees that have knelt at sacred altars
We bless your legs that have carried you
We bless your feet that have walked your own path throughout life
WE THANK YOU
Beautiful blessing of thanks, isn’t it?
No. . .
It’s not mine. . .
It was brought and applied many different times by a friend, a colleague of mine; an awesome hospice nurse, Jill.
I firmly believe it’s power
I wholly feel that it’s mystique
is that it didn’t come from me. . .
T H A T
would be calculated
and expected. . .
It came from a nurse
(this time)
and sometimes it’s a doctor
and at other times
a Home Health Aide
and often from
Security or Housekeeping. . .
NOT FROM CHUCK THE CHAPLAIN
Am I hurt
jealous
angry
vengeful
regretful
or just severely
grateful
humble
validated
affirmed
hallowed. . .
T R U T H :
Sometimes the greatest blessings there can ever be come from those we often don’t expect. . .
(making them even more sacred)
G U A R A N T E E D:
The best of blessings are never spoken
. . .they’re done
Why give a blessing
WHEN YOU CAN BE ONE
Pssssssssssssssssssssssst of the Day:
You don’t have to look for
Most Blessings. . .
T H E Y
F I N D
Y O U !