Giving — Page 45

Legislated Hearts

November 2, 2016 By ChuckBehrens 2 Comments

H E A R T M A P P I N G. . .

Have You?

Heart Mapping

is little exercise that helps illustrate

what’s really important to you. . .

Heart Mapping

was a concept

created by Georgia Heard

to help students

a c h e

about writing

instead of just merely stringing words together. . .

but it should be mandatory for everyone who has a

H E A R T beat. . .

It helps you fill in the spaces of your

H e a r t

with

Memories that are the most dear to you. . .

People who are most important to you–and why. . .

Experiences or events that you will never forget. . .

Impactful Happy and Sad Moments you’ve had. . .

Secrets that can only be kept in your heart. . .

What would be at the Center of your Heart?

Would you add Colors?

Would you add more than one Heart that overlaps?

Would you have things written around the outside of your heart?

What would be on your Heart Map. . .

that if you could, you’d legislate for the whole world to abide?

Hmmmmmmmm of the Day:

YOU CANNOT LEGISLATE THINGS OF THE HEART

if we could

we’d probably all legislate

a kinder

more compassionate

less judging

more accepting

more loving

less hating

more understanding

more caring

more forgiving

more merciful

more healthy

no cancer,

no pain

no disease

no disappointment

no terminal illness

no homelessness

no addiction

all accepting

w o r l d. . .

I would legislate that we’d all be

Caring Catalyst’s

who would literally find it impossible to be mean or disrespectful of anyone

and more giving and warmhearted to everyone

. . . h o w e v e r

we can’t legislate hate out of the heart. . .

s o m e h o w,

our Heart Map

still has passages

that takes us through some pretty swampy areas

that makes GPS’s tremble and stutter.

We can’t legislate a Heart that accepts and loves all—regardless of

race,

color,

creed,

sexual orientation,

socioeconomics,

o u r s e l v e s

If IT could happen or come to be just by

writing it down

then our Founding Fathers would have had a way to personify

creating all equal with full rights to Life,

Liberty

and the pursuit of Happiness. . .

Maybe. . .

m a y b e

that’s where it all starts?

I can’t do your heart map. . .only mine!

We can’t vote in

L E G I S L A T O R S

or adopt laws or amendments or new Constitutions

b u t

by looking at our own heart maps

and continually re-drafting

re-working

R E F I N I N G

them

and not only Beginning

but better still. . .

R E F U S I N G

to end there–

Well now. . .

We just might have created–

each of us–

a kind of Heart Map

W I T H O U T B O R D E R S

It’s a Continent worth reaching

and

s h a r i n g

See you in that never-need-legislating-land-of

T H E R E

(hopefully soon–very soon)

WE is the New I

September 19, 2016 By ChuckBehrens 1 Comment

Uh-oh,

there’s another reported case of the Zika Virus in Florida after numerous other reports already. . .

Uh-oh,

there’s a young lady,

recently married with brain cancer who is moving from her home in California to Oregon so she can participate LEGALLY in Physician Assisted Suicide.

Uh-oh,

WE DON’T have a problem, do WE?

Seriously,

WE DON’T HAVE THE ZIKA VIRUS, do WE?

T H E Y D O !

T H E Y

Always live somewhere else,

or speak different languages,

or have different colored skin. . .

T H E Y

Need to live somewhere else;

travel somewhere else;

get sick somewhere else. . .

T H E Y

Remind us that we’ve already dealt

and been scared to death

of Tuberculosis,

Aids,

Polio,

and many other forms of illness and disease. . .

Here’s the Deal:

The new WE

W E

are

T H E Y

T H E Y

are

W E.

T H E Y. . .

T H E M. . .

Y O U

M E

Z I K A

is something

W E

all have;

Everyday,

1479 people die from cancer;

everyday there are 3483 new people diagnosed with it. . .

Everyday,

in the United States 895 people die from cancer;

and 2938 are diagnosed with it. . .

Cancer is something

W E

all have;

It’s time for

US,

WE,

THEM, ‘

THEY

to become the true

I of the Storm. . .

Compassion

S C R E A M S

there is no longer a

T H E Y

or a

T H E M

or an

or a

YOU. . .

only a WE,

an US. . .

The RESET,

the RESTORE BUTTON

gets tapped not only when

WE get IT. . .

But when we

S H A R E I T—–

N O W. . .

why couldn’t we get bit by a bug

that would infect us with

C O M P A S S I O N

and a horribly, dreaded

E M P A T H Y

that becomes an incurable

e p i d e m i c . . . ?

Best In Show(ing UP)

September 2, 2016 By ChuckBehrens 2 Comments

This past Wednesday afternoon

there was a small gathering of staff in the Atrium

at David Simpson House House on

East 185th Street

to celebrate a very important

Member of the Hospice Staff

Tallulah

She’s been a therapy dog at The House for the past seven years

and it would be impossible to try to calculate

just how many lives—

patients. . .

families. . .

staff. . .

Tallulah has not just touched

but inspired—

patients. . .

families. . .

staff. . .

to also reach out and

T O U C H

We all gathered together

and surrounded her in a-not-so-perfect

c i r c l e

and while Tallulah was in the center

chewing on a treat

Dr. Kevin Dieter

led us in a unison reading,

TO LEARN FROM ANIMAL BEING:

Nearer to the earth’s heart, Deeper within its silence; Animals know this world in a way we never will.

We who are ever Distanced and distracted by the parade of bright windows thought opens; their seamless presence is not fractured thus.

Stranded between time gone and time emerging, we managed seldom to be where we are: Whereas they are always looking out from the here and now.

May we learn to return and rest in the beauty of animal being, Learn to lean low, leave our locked minds, and with freed senses feel the earth breathing with us.

May we enter into lightness of spirit, and slip frequently into the feel of the wild.

Let the clear silence of our animal being; cleanse our hearts of corrosive words.

May we learn to walk upon the earth with all their confidence and clear-eyed stillness so that our minds might be baptized in the name of the wind and the light and the rain.

One by One

each of us

by instinct

rather than instruction

left the circle and went into the middle

and gave her our own

little blessing that only

a heart can shout

and a mouth can’t begin to whisper

. . .I stood there and noticed

that eyes were weeping

what tissues can’t ever quite absorb

and chose not to think it was some kind of a

meaningful, sincere

G O O D B Y E

as a much more

intentional

devout

T H A N K Y O U

Tallulah

was making her last visit to the House

but not giving us her

Final Lesson. . .

Her Last Lecture

if we are Student enough to

l e a r n:

J u s t

S H O W I N G U P

B E I N G P R E S E N T

brings a

h e a l i n g

not found in an

intervention

therapy

prescription

plan of care

I V

syringe

pill

capsule

s a l v e. . .

And like her. . .

makes us the

BEST IN SHOW

Willie Morris wrote a book called

MY DOG SKIP

The Family Movie came out in 2000

As I was standing in that most sacred-imperfect Circle

the ending scene came to mind:

https://youtu.be/nLKMroK2bA0

Good Bye?

THANK YOU?

For now

and

for an ever

May the Peace that

Tallulah

has brought to many

now be that

Profound Peace

she’ll enjoy

f o r e v e r m o r e

as she crosses over

The Rainbow Bridge

but never out of our hearts.

When To G I V E

August 26, 2016 By ChuckBehrens 2 Comments

No surprise, right?

I mean, it’s THAT time of the year, isn’t?

In fact. . .

E A C H T I M E

is T H A T T I M E,

isn’t it?

We see folks standing on road ways,

ramps and street corners

with signs that are asking what we all seem to work so hard for

and don’t ever get to keep enough:

M O N E Y. . .

We’ve all probably been in a place and in a time

where we needed more than what we have in our pockets,

bank accounts,

401k’s. . .

I’ve never stood on a corner to ask for money.

I once went on purpose to a soup kitchen;

O N P U R P O S E,

not to help or serve,

or clean up,

but to actually eat. . .

I wanted to see I T from another perspective.

I was treated kindly,

with sympathy and compassion,

but it was very apparent

I was ONE OF THEM

and Not one of THEM,

serving. . .

I’ve gotten all of the advice on this matter from both sides:

GIVE Freely

and Never GIVE

under any circumstances.

“GIVE a man a Fish and you feed him for a day; Teach a man to Fish and he eats forever. . . .”

Right?

Wrong?

Circumstantial?

Enabling?

I have heard,

maybe felt it all.

Three things happened most recently

that I think has settled this for me,

and now maybe you.

We were driving home from school

and my granddaughter was in the back seat of the car.

We came to a Stop Light that had just turned, RED.

On the side of the road was a man who looked like he was wearing everything he owned.

He held a sign that just simply read,

H U N G R Y
P L E A S E H E L P

I heard a zipper getting UN-zipped

and then the window go down from the backseat.

My 8-yr old granddaughter was handing a dollar to the man with the sign.

I found out,

it wasn’t her first time.

Fast forward a few days ahead. I was in the car and I was in another part of town.

I was getting off of the highway and there on the berm of the road was a guy.

He didn’t have everything on that he owned,

he actually was carrying a ripped backpack.

He was sweaty and his face was smeared.

He was holding a sign that I couldn’t actually read.

Maybe he wrote it in the rain.

It was hot and the letters looked like they were melting together.

Everyone was passing him by.

It was a long line and the Red Light came up at least twice

and now was just turning Green.

He was still 5 car lengths ahead of me.

I looked up.

There was a $20 bill in my sun visor. . .

it had been a great week

–F O R M E. . .

I hit the button to the window and it purred down.

I crunched the bill between my fingers

and handed it over to him.

Seriously. . .

it was One of THOSE Commercials–

except there was no mention of benefits

to the Card Carrier

And yet. . .

still, it was

P R I C E L E S S!

THAT look on his face,

and even with the sounds of afternoon traffic,

I heard him gasp.

I couldn’t see his face from the rearview mirror

as I drove away,

but his head was down, looking,

watching the bill in his hand as if it were going to fly away,

d i s s o l v e

or just turn into a dollar bill before his eyes.

I wonder what story he’ll tell and to who?

I wonder if he’ll,

weeks,

months,

years from now reflect,

“I remember the time on a hot Summer day when this guy, who I didn’t even think noticed me, rolled down his window and handed me a crunched up $20 bill.”

I wonder. . .

if. . .

when I’ll forget?

And then there was the man

outside of the exit of a

GET-GO STATION

with a sign that read:

I HAVE DIABETES

AND NEED TO EAT

I had just filled up my tank

and Erin and I were about

to fill up our stomachs

with a Sub-Sandwich we had just bought.

I rolled down my window and offered him

my still un-wrapped Italian Sub

and he declined my offer

by pulling out his own Sub from

the big bag he had in front of him. . .

He gave me a great

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm Of The Day

So finally after a lifetime of waffling

with the SHOULD and SHOULDN’T’S

of what to do

when faced with an opportunity

of someone imploring

my meek earnings

I think I’ve come to a

S E T T L I N G :

From now on,

there’ll only be two times when I give:

1) When I have IT

2) When I don’t have IT

. . .A N D

What say YOU ?

When You Can’t Feel, T O U C H

July 20, 2016 By ChuckBehrens 2 Comments

Sometimes it happens. . .

THE WELL

THE HEALTHY

become the unhealthy. . .

the U N – W e l l

. . . .and it ain’t pretty.

The Statistics aren’t all that promising and back up the UN-PRETTY-NESS of it all. . .

A recent study, finds that one quarter of all family caregivers of Alzheimer’s disease patients succumb to the stress of providing care to a loved one and often become hospital patients themselves.

Specifically, Indiana University researchers discovered that a quarter of family caregivers of Alzheimer’s dementia patients had at least one emergency room visit or hospitalization EVERY SIX MONTHS

Caregiving is not easy. . .even when you get paid the big bucks for it

Caregiving is not easy. . .even when it’s your Lifestyle, and not just your profession

Caregiving is not easy. . .

even when it’s absolutely easy from time to time

The Murder/Suicide rate among senior adult couples is some 50% HIGHER than younger adults

S H O C K I N G ?

Some 40% of family members caring for a loved one with dementia suffer from signs of mental distress, according to a new study from the Canadian Institute for Health Information.

Some literally see Suicide as a C U R E

. . .So is there a Remedy?

When you can’t feel. . .

T O U C H

Maintain some kind of life outside of caregiving; have friends, routines, hobbies and USE THEM
Keep healthy; get check-ups, eat and drink right; e x e r c i s e
Breathe; I recently heard a great technique for this: SNIFF IN, BLOW OUT
Join a support group; not always for what someone can GIVE you, but what you might be able to share

Wait. . .is that too simple

Wait. . .is that too cost effective

Wait. . .

is it that easy

P s s s s s s t. . .

Y E S

So. . .

when you can’t

f e e l ,

t o u c h

and see the results for the

Touched

and the

Touch’er

And the Most COMPASSIONIST

June 22, 2016 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

WHAT GET’S IT FOR YOU?

A Movie?

A News Story?

A Song?

A First Act of Witnessed Kindness?

A Rags to Riches Story?

W H A T G E T S I T F O R Y O U ?

What Stomps on your

C O M P A S S I O N B U T T O N

Like an Elephant’s Foot on Your Aorta?

Is it because you are

Religious

Spiritual

Agnostic

Atheist

+ * ?

You may not really like this. . .

but when it comes to

C O M P A S S I O N

uhhhh. . .

the more

R e L i G i O u S

the less

compassionate.

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR

turns out to be less of a thing for

The Religious

than

The Less Religious

Researchers from the University of California, Berkeley suggests that the highly religious are less motivated by compassion when helping a stranger than are atheists, agnostics and less religious people.

In three separate experiments, social scientists found that compassion consistently drove less religious people to be more generous. For highly religious people, however, compassion was largely unrelated to how generous they were, according to the findings which were published in the July issue of the Journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science

Obviously, these results challenge a widespread assumption that acts of generosity are largely driven by feelings of empathy and compassion, researchers said. In the study, the link between compassion and generosity was found to be stronger for those who identified as being non-religious or less religious.

“Overall, we find that for less religious people, the strength of their emotional connection to another person is critical to whether they will help that person or not,” said UC Berkeley social psychologist Robb Willer, a co-author of the study. “The more religious, on the other hand, may ground their generosity less in emotion, and more in other factors such as doctrine, a communal identity, or reputational concerns.”

COMPASSION is defined in the study as an emotion felt when people see the suffering of others which then motivates them to help, often at a personal risk or cost.

Y’ O U C H

Now. . .seat belts fastened, please. . .

Professor Willer concludes:

“Overall, this research suggests that although less religious people tend to be less trusted in the U.S., when feeling compassionate, they may actually be more inclined to help their fellow citizens than the more religious. . . .”

(More information: Social Psychological and Personality Science April 26, 2012 doi: 10.1177/1948550612444137)

THE TAKE ?

It’s N O T

to become

Less Religious

More Religious. . .

Uhhhhh, how about just simply

to become

more COMPASSIONATE

no matter what!

Borders are overflowing with refugees not so much in search of land than an open heart

Diseases aren’t seeking cures more than open acceptance

Hands are outreaching not so much for food or money so much as returning outstretched hands

The WHOLE WORLD

is turning. . .running the other way

THE COMPLETING COMPASSIONATE

are SPRINTING

towards the unfavored

. . .which DIRECTION

are you

j e t t i n g ?

B U S K E D

April 25, 2016 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

Are you

Are we

B U S K E R ‘ S ?

Some of the best Buskers I’ve ever seen are where I was actually looking for them:

At The Beach

Union Square in New York City

Outside of a Playhouse at Christmas

Outside of a Sporting Event

Street Corners. . .

A N Y W H E R E. . .

Street Performance

B U S K I N G

is an

a c t

of performing in public places

for

tips. . .g r a t u i t i e s

b u t

B U S K I N G

is really associated with

singing or playing

m u s i c

TO JUST PLAY M U S I C !

Joni Mitchell wrote a great song several years ago called,

REAL GOOD FOR FREE

“I slept last night in a good hotel

I went shopping today for jewels

The Wind rushed around in the dirty town

And the children let out from the schools

I was standing on a noisy street corner

waiting for the walking green

Across the street he stood

And he played real good

On his clarinet for free.

Now me I play for fortune

and those velvet curtain calls

I’ve got a black limousine

and two gentlemen

escorting me to the halls

and I play if you have the money

Or if you’re a friend of me

but the one-man band

by the quick lunch stand

He was playing real good, for free.

Nobody stopped to hear him

Though he played so sweet and high

They knew he had never

been on their tv

So they passed his music by

I meant to go over and ask for a song

Maybe put on a harmony. . .

I heard his refrain

As the signal changed

He was playing real good, for free.

Well. . .

I’ll ask again:

ARE

YOU

BUSKER. . .?

or. . .or

do you charge a price. . . ?

W a i t – – – –

that’s a much different name ,

h u h ?

GIFTING

March 7, 2016 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

https://youtu.be/TmQ74XO_Fx0

It always has to be the perfect time, doesn’t it?

A day. . .

A season. . .

An occasion. . .

A situation. . .

A holiday. . .

A Birthday. . .

An Anniversary. . .

o r . . .

for no reason

Maybe the World doesn’t desperately need a gift for no reason. . .

but

I bet a person does

B E

the

G I F T

that doesn’t so much need given

but

r e c e i v e d

B E

the

G I F T

that’s needed for the moment

for the

n o w o f i t !

B E T H E P R E S E N T

Medicinals

February 26, 2016 By ChuckBehrens 4 Comments

The greatest events that take place in our lives. . .

sometimes take place without ever being on the calendar.

I was scheduled to speak at an event a week ago to a group of Nurses, Social Workers, Case Managers, and Administrators at an area hospital and when I arrived I showed up at the wrong place.

I was standing just outside of the reception area, calling my contact person and

I T H A P P E N E D . . .

The UN-Calendared E V E N T:

An elderly lady and her granddaughter walked out of the swooshing hospital doors and one cue when they hit the cold air of the late morning she burst into a loud, uncontrollable wail of deep woe:

“I can’t, can’t, can’t believe what I just heard. The Dr, the Dr, he just told me that I have, that I have can-can-can-cancer! Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh God. . . .”

The phone was still ringing and I had my back partially to them.

Before I could respond

Before I could hang up the ringing phone from the other end

Before I could offer any consolation or comfort

B E F O R E

. . .the granddaughter did the most

pure

simplest

kind

loving

compassionate

caring

a m a z i n g

a c t:

She held her grandmother,

hugged her. . .

let her cry. . .

and then said,

“Grandma, I know he just said the worst thing we should ever have to hear but he doesn’t know us, he doesn’t know how well we all fight together with each other, he doesn’t know how strong our family is and how we don’t ever do anything alone. . .I’m here, I’m here, I’m here,”

. . .she whispered to her grandmother over and over again as she held, gently rocked her like I could only imagine she was once rocked by her when she fell or was afraid or had her feelings hurt or. . .

O B L I V O U S

that I was standing just a few feet away

that a crash cart was just on the other side of the swooshing doors

that several nurses and one doctor were talking at the receptionists desk

t h a t

anything else or anyone were available or necessary.

In a simple, significantly powerfully way

I witnessed

what I know

what I know I know

what I’d bet my life I know

but for the life of me

I don’t always a c t l i k e I k n o w

t h a t

medicine

interventions

therapies

treatments

blind studies

experimental aids

placebos

d o n o t h e a l u s

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

heal us.

Are you a Caring Catalyst?

Do you want to be?

You may be just a mere

h u g

a g e n t l e t o u c h

a h e l d h a n d

away.

t h a t

hug

gentle touch

an open and willing holding hand

Your words will never tell what your actions always will. . .

The greatest things in our lives sometimes take place without ever being c a l e n d a r e d

Are you Ready?

The Best Medicine

January 18, 2016 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

Sometimes. . .

The Best

most effective

least evasive

cost efficient

non-addictive

m e d i c i n e

isn’t found in a

syringe

capsule

elixir

pill

intervention

therapy

treatment. . .

b u t a t t h e e n d o f y o u r e x t e n d e d h a n d

Sometimes. . .

it takes more than medicine.

C O M P A S S I O N

(s u f f e ri n g w i t h)

a powerful antidote

for the human condition

F I L L

. . .D E L I V E R

that Prescription

Every Time!

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