The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

Your Cellular Level

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What’s Greater.        .        .        ?

An  Academy Award.      .       .

An Olympic Medal.        .       .

A Nobel Prize.            .           .

A  Single  Cell  of  Compassion.             .               .              ?

Japan-born scientist, Yoshinori  Ohsumi

has recently been named as one of the newest

Nobel Prize Winners.     .     .

Ohsumi illuminated a cellular process called,

A  U  T  O  P  H  A  G  Y

or

S E L F – E A T I N G

in which cells

take unneeded or damaging material

including entire

o r a n g e l l e s

and transport them to a

recycling compartment

of sorts–

in yeast cells,

this compartment is called

the  lisosome,

while  vacuoles 

serve a similar purpose in

h u m a n    c e l l s.     .     .

and   this   means   what   to   us.       .       .        ?

Ohsumi figured out a way to observe the inner workings of yeast cells and reveal autophagy inside of them.  He went even further to identify the genes involved in yeast autophagy and to show that similar self-eating mechanisms occur inside human cells.  His discoveries in the 1990’s led to a new understanding of how the cell recycles its contents, opening up a window into the importance of autophagy to several physiological processes and even to understanding certain diseases.  Mutations in autophagy have been linked to diseases such as cancer and neurological disorders like Parkinson’s disease.        .        .        .

and     this     means     what     to     us.       .       .       ?

On a cellular level.     .     .

at    o u r   core

both animals and human beings

have what Dacher Keltner

at the University of California, Berkley,

coins a

compassionate  instinct.        .        .

we are wired for kindness and compassion.       .       .

Compassion is a

natural  and   a u t o m a t i c 

response

that   has   ensured   our   survival.       .       .

Mr Darwin’s message

was not the

survival  of  the  fittest

but rather

s  u  r  v  i  v  a  l        o  f        t  h  e        k  i  n  d  e  s  t

because we need

each   other’s   support

and  care  to  survive  as  a  species.        .        .

Being   a   Caring  Catalyst

is  who  we  can’t  help

but  to  be

but we can

h e l p

it   more.       .       .

and   t h a t

goes way.       .       .w   a   y

deeper   than  a

c e l l u l a r     l  e  v  e  l.        .         .

What’s  Greater.     .     .     ?

An Academy Award.     .     .

An Olympic Medal.     .     .

A Nobel Prize.         .         .

A  Single-Cell of Compassion.     .     .

or    y   o   u   r  

 Single-Cell of contagious Kindness.     .     .

B       E       T             Y       O        U       R              L     I     F     E  

on

I    T

Your Mantra

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Bill Parcells, Super Bowl, Hall of Fame Coach has a Mantra

that he would strongly encourage his football teams to

adopt:

“D O N ‘ T     E V E R    L E T    G O O D    E N O U G H    B E    G O O D    E N O U G H”

A G R E E

OR

D I S A G R E E ?

New Year’s Day is still a whopping

1     0     8     Days  Away,

so don’t get any ideas about getting crazy and making

r          e          s          o          l          u          t        i          o          n          s

but how about something that’ll last longer than the obligatory

couple of weeks past

January 1 ?

Why not a Mantra?

L E T     G O O D     B E     G O O D     E N O U G H

Seriously.     .     .

There’s something about that simply Manta that spells:

H     A     P     P     I     N     E     S     S

Voltaire once said,

“Don’t   let  the  perfect  be  the  enemy  of  of  the  good.”

I’ve never been accused of being a  perfectionist

but at times I like being close.     .     .

You?

In his book,

THE    PARADOX    OF    CHOICE

Barry Schwartz says there are two kinds of people:

S A T I S F I C E R S

and

M A X I M I Z E R S

SATISFICERS are people who make a decision or take action once their criteria are met.

MAXIMIZERS  want to make the optimal decision–even if they see a bike or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option and done ultra-uber-research and data collecting.

Now the studies suggest that SATISFICERS tend to be

h          a          p          p          i          e          r

than MAXIMIZERS;

Maximizers spend a lot more time and energy to reach a decision, and they’re often anxious about whether they did, in fact, make the  b e s t   c h o i c e

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm of the Day kind of stuff, huh?

So what about a new Mantra?

Last week I was talking to a friend who told me that having adopted this mantra:

LET   GOOD   BE   GOOD   ENOUGH

has literally changed her life.      .        .

Jennifer Kunst, Ph.D seems to agree.

In her book,

WISDOM  FROM  THE  COUCH: KNOWING  AND  GROWING  YOURSELF  FROM  THE INSIDE  OUT 

Dr. Kunst suggests:

“.     .     .by accepting ourselves as enough, we must accept our limitations and the limitations of life itself.  But in doing so, we also gain access to life’s real possibilities.  By forsaking the false path of seeking something bigger and better, we choose a real path that may be smaller but less to a different kind of better.  By choosing to accept ourselves as enough, we choose a better way of being who we already are.     .     .     .”

It’s some  1 0 8  days away from another

New  Year,

why waste another resolution

why waste another moment

when this very instant

when  this  very  n o w

you  can

L E T         G  O  O  D        B  E         G  O  O  D        E  N  O  U  G  H

you

can

personify

h a p p i n e s s

H   A   P   P   Y          N   E   W     life      Y   E   A   R

Has Your MESSAGE Changed?

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images-1

Has Your Message Ever Changed?

Not only is

T     I     M     E

moving  at  an  unbelievably

fast  pace,

but so is everything that is attached to

T      I      M      E

like our information .       .       .

Has your Message Ever Changed?

Have what you believed

a year ago.      .      .

five years ago.       .       .

ten years ago.       .       .

fifteen years ago.       .       .

twenty years ago.       .      .

thirty years ago.       .        .

FIFTY years ago.       .       .

S I X T Y-S E V E N     Y E A R S     A G O .     .     .  

still what you    N  O  W    believe

without any shadows of doubt

or

bet-the-farm-

bet-your-own-life

assurance?

It’s amazing what was

B E L I E V E D

K N O W N 

T O U T E D

in 1949

so profoundly factually

has been so significantly been

debunked.      .       .

ever have any thoughts

ever have any feelings

ever have any on-your-children’s lives

S            U            R            E            T            I            E            S

ever evaporate into

a-not-so-thin-puff-of-smoke

H  A  S            Y  O  U  R            M  E  S  S  A  G  E            E  V  E  R            C  H  A  N  G  E  D

.            .            .Should     I T ?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  Of   The   Day:

Your Olympic Moment

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Abbey D’Agostino and Nikki Hamblin gave us quite the Olympic Moment

Your Olympic Moment.      .      .

has it happened already

or just merely

inspired?

It takes a long time to get from one Olympic to another.     .     .

for most, it’ll never be a reality;

The next one will be

F O U R     Y E A R S

from now in

Tokyo

but some Olympics moment are never ending.      .      .

so are some of our day to day moments;

We are all running a most difficult

R       A       C       E

One that seems to go

on and on and on and on and on and on

with no seeming

F  I  N  I  S  H       L   I   N   E

in sight

and then you see.     .      .

you   e x p e r i e n c e

something much greater

than some ending point.     .     .

you  feel  the  greatness  that  can  only  come  from  within

but  always

e      m     a      n     a      t      e     s

o u t w a r d

u   p   w   a   r   d.     .      .

We stumble

We fall

We trip up

We get hurt

We get disappointed

We feel discouraged

d     e     f     e     a     t     e     d

and just when the race

feels hopelessly lost

another event starts

that knows

N  O

L     O     S     E     R     S

e     v     e     r.      .      .

In our long journey to the

Finish  Line

with the unceasingly

ever-running

have-got-to-beat

c       l       o       c       k

there’s  a  speckle  of

t  r  u  t  h

that makes the

D  E  F  E  A  T  E  D

U  N  D  E  F  E  A  T  A  B  L  E :

WHEN    YOU    HAVE    A    CHANCE    TO    BE 

RIGHT   OR   KIND

B  E       K  I  N  D

and  watch  the

Finish  Line

not only vanish.      .      .

but become something so very, very much more!

https://youtu.be/z5-fQ2Qda5U

The ROUGH Side of the Sheets

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IMG_2008

There’s a few guarantees in life that are not all that

P     L     E     A     S     A     N      T

Here’s one:

The Other Side of the Sheets are Always

R o u g h e r

 S c r a t c h i e r

More   A  b  r  a  s  i  v  e.      .      .

N  O  T      C  O  M  F  O  R  T  A  B  L  E

In  3 7 5  days

a lot can happen;

much can happen in

3 7 5  s e c o n d s

or blinks of an eye.     .     .

3   7  5

days ago my wife Erin had

Five back to back to back to back to back

s e i z u r e s;

after five  days of testing,

some of it, very painful

we were sent home

with a not so firm diagnosis of

viral meningitis.  .   .

but after a year of recovering

r  e  c  o  u  p  i  n  g

and still having on/off

f o c a l   s e i z u r e s

we spent another short week at

The Epilepsy Lab

at the Cleveland Clinic

and now have a firm diagnosis of

Left Temporal Epilepsy;

most likely managed with

the      right     medications

which may take some tinkerings

that finds us on the

r  o  u  g  h

s c r a t c h y

a b r a s i v e

n o t    c o m f o r t a b l e

O T H E R     S I D E     O F     T H E     S H E E T S

There have been plenty of studies done about

how miserable

The Other Side of the Sheets

can actually be

for those who spend most of their time on

the more comfortable

more familiar

less irritating

BEST    SIDE    OF    THE    SHEETS

of  Caregiving:

W E     D O N ‘ T     L I K E     I T !

There’s a Universe of Difference between

C   A   R   E   G   I   V   I   N   G

and

C   A   R   E   G   E   T   T   I   N   G,

But   T H E     L E S S O N

is invaluable for either side of the Sheets:

YOUR   SUFFERING

is

MY     SUFFERING

and

MY     SUFFERING

is

YOUR     SUFFERING

and no matter how rumpled the sheets

either side.     .     .

we can all do our part

to make sure they are a lot

 s    m    o    o    t    h    e    r.        .        .

adding a little compassionate care

is the softener

necessary to make

both sides of the sheets

h       e       a       l     i       n       g;

.        .        .now  pass  me  the  pillow  case,

p l e a s e,

I T      C A N      A L W A Y S      A      L I T T L E      M O R E      C O M F Y

G L O R I O U S

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Sometimes you go to Church

without ever actually going

T     H     E     R     E

(and those are the most holy of times)

There are times when

You might feel aimless

And can’t see the places

Where you belong

But you will find that

There is a a purpose

It’s been there within you

All along

And when you’re near it

You can almost heart it

It’s like a symphony

Just keep listening

And pretty soon you’ll start

To figure out your part

Everyone plays a piece

And there are melodies

In each one of us

Ohhhhh it’s   G L O R I O U S

And you will know how

To let it ring out

As you discover

Who you are

Others around you

Will start to wake up

To the sounds that are

In their hearts

It’s so amazing

What we’re all creating

It’s like a Symphony

Just keep listening

And pretty soon you’ll start

To figure out your part

Everyone plays a piece

And there are melodies

in each one of us

Ohhhhh it’s  G L O R I O U S

And as you feel

The notes built

H I G H E R

You will see

It’s like a Symphony

Just keep listening

And pretty soon you’ll start

To figure out your part

Everyone plays a piece

And there are melodies

In each one of us

Ohhhhh it’s  G L O R I O U S

Sometimes you go to Church

without stepping into the front door

of even the most magnificent of

all sanctuaries.       .       .

on a brand new,

f   r  e  s  h

Monday Morning.          .          .

B E

T  H  A  T

S          A          N          C          T          U          A          R          Y

that simply

a  c  c  e  n  t  u  a  t  e  s 

another’s part

in the

s     y     m     p     h     o     n     y

and listen to how it

plays

inspires

motivates

new notes in you

that have yet to be

c     o     n     d     u     c     t     e     d

I  T ‘ S      

G     L     O     R     I     O     U     S

MUDDERS

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images

It was a Sunday morning.      .      .

more Sunday’s ago than I can actually calculate

but I was in college and tired of studying.   .   .

It was raining

and so I took the car when I normally would have walked the

few blocks to a Church

that was getting built next door to an old city mansion

where the Church

was now meeting until the building was completed.

The Parking Lot.      .      .

more   of   a   muddy   field   was

u     n     m     a     n     e     u     v     e     r     a     b     l     e 

My first mistake

was that I actually tried getting out of the car

I sunk to my ankles in cold, wet mud

There were about a dozen men and a few woman standing on the porch

watching me

s    i    n   k

and then push my

car

It took a while

NO          O N E          H E L P E D

or even yelled to offer.

I fell several times

and my clothes and shoes were more mud than cloth and leather.

I     made     it

In college,

I lived with my grandmother’s;

when she saw me and my mud covered car

she fumed

as I told her the story

and began stripping out of my mud caked clothes.

I’ll never forget what she said

after calling

the good Church folk

some not so kindly

Church folk names:

“Those bunch of hypocrites.  .  .that’s exactly why I don’t go to Church.   .   .”

I yelled over my shoulder as I was going down the basement steps to the Washer:

“and that’s exactly why I want to serve One.   .   .”

Since   t h a t   I can’t count

the times I’ve found myself in

one muddy field

after another

pushing

struggling

cursing

my way through

I don’t notice so much anymore

just who’s watching

who’s noticing

who’s just passively

observing

or actually turning the other way.

Sometimes

in all of that Mud

it’s even harder to figure out

really where I want

really what I want to

 b     e  ?

And I can’t fathom

this   is   where   I   was   meant  to  be

here

now

again

in the mud

in the not so pretty

in the not so acceptable

in  the  not  so  easy  to  get  completely  clean  place.    .    .

And then

Sometimes, because it seems

like it happens in

blink-of-the-eye-quickness

I go from one

muddy place

to another

without having the opportunity

to even sprinkle off

A N D     T H A T ‘ S      W H E N      I T     H I T S      M E

I am at

my absolute best

WHEN   I   AM   AT   MY    MUDDIEST;

My Best

When I’m at my most uncleanest;

When I’m at my most Soiled-est;

When I’m at my most filthiest;

When I’m at my most dingiest;

When I’m at my most foulest;

because that’s where

the most people reside

right there

right there in the mud

pushing

struggling

cursing

their ways, too

It’s not so much that we help each other as it is

that we

N     O     T     I     C     E

R     E     C     O     G     N     I      Z     E

don’t turn away from

s          e          e           i          n          g

We        are       not       alone

We     are

M          U          D          D          E          R          S

one

and

all

in   need   of   a   shower

and   finding

barely   a   random

s       p       r       i       n       k       l       e

    y e t      being

g       r       a       t       e       f       u       l

just the same.     .     .     .

Drinking from the Saucer

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tea-overflowing-213x300

Have you ever done it before?

If you were at a Five-Star Restaurant and had just had a very expensive, satisfying dinner and the waitress, who has addressed your every whim and need, is now pouring your coffee to overflowing perfection so it’s a small moat in your saucer around your coffee cup.

Q   U   E   S   T   I   O   N :

Are you an    A P R I L     F O O L     enough

in front of all the guests,

enjoying dinner as you are,

going to    S  L  U  R  P    from your saucer?

Not even if it’s the best coffee ever,

Right?

Well, not many of us take notice

and might not readily admit it,

but the good stuff   I S   in the Saucer.    .    .

the Overflow is  always/ALL ways

where IT’S at.      .      .

Any Real   April Fool   knows that, don’t they?

A few weeks ago,

I conducted the small memorial service for Charles.

I never met him before.

He was a hospice patient in a group home near Santa Barbara, CA.

He was 92 and had been there most of his life,

but his life was never defined by that little fact.

Charles was an April Fool every month of the year.    .     .

Charles drank from the saucer,

u n a b a s h e d l y,   o f t e n,

with a smile on his face

and a pure, unadulterated happiness in his heart.

I learned that Charles had friends,

found true love,

traveled extensively,

had a job he took pride in,

and led a stress-free,

h   a   p   p   y           l   i   f   e !

Saucer slurping high living, huh?

The truest of  April Fools

S     e     r     i     o     u     s     l     y ,

if given the chance IN or OUT of a Group Home,

if at our last breath,

we could KNOW,

not hope,   wish,   dream.      .     .

K           N           O           W

that we had friends,

found true love,

traveled extensively,

had a job we took pride in,

and led a stress-free, happy life

—-S a u c e r – S i p p e r—–

Class   A   April Fool,

would you turn it down,

walk away?

Don’t feel bad.       .       .

M a n y    d o !

Pssssssssst:

D o n ‘ t      b e      M  A  N  Y !

Most don’t have the chance to drink fully from The Cup,

let alone the Saucer.     .     .

Most would turn down voluntarily being an

A P R I L      F O O L

any day of the year,

let alone on April 1

Look again.

There’s not only a Full Cup we have

but a Saucer for the Overflow

Hmmmmmm  of  the  Day:

Now Noticing would be one thing.

Drinking from them both. . .Quite another!

One. . .Two. . .Three:

S    L    U    R    P       Deeply

You April Fool

Get  Charles’d !

S M I L E

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https://youtu.be/P8Ggykm0Wko

It’s a vicious lie,

you know?

It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile

F          A          L          S          E !

Dr. David Song (University of Chicago Medical Center) recently did this study on the very topic and the average frown requires 11 muscles while the average smile requires 12

Now I’ll be the first to tell you that I don’t know what I don’t know

but this method of counting the number of muscles used by Dr. Song doesn’t take into account variables like the energy used by each muscle or that some

SMILE MUSCLES

in some are more developed  than in others

Uhhhhhh. . .

You can send in all of your comments of THANKS

for not taking any more of your time by naming all of the

FROWN MUSCLES

quickly followed by the all more important MORE

S M I L E     M U S C L E S.

Here’ s the Catch:

Even though smiling uses more muscles, it’s believed that it takes

LESS EFFORT

than Frowning.

B E C A U S E:

people tend to smile more, which means the relevant muscles are in better shape!

How about some

B O N U S     F A C T S:

Most primates, especially apes, have many of the same muscles that we do and use them to express similar emotional information.  Chimps that hunt in groups use only non-verbal cues to relay information and to remain organized.

Humans are born with the ability to smile, 

it’s not something we learn. . .even blind babies are able to smile.

The take away?

S          M          I          L          E

If you don’t want to smile with others or because of them

.       .       .give them a great reason to

s m i l e

at

or with you.

Back in February, I attended and completed and became certified as

Certified Laughter Leader

With Steve Wilson and the World Laughter Tour.

I loved a simple technique he taught us with a straw.

W H E N

I F

you find it impossible to smile

stick a straw in your mouth between your teeth

sideways

for a few minutes

.      .      .  You’ll have a

WOW  Moment

YOU     WILL     FEEL     BETTER

Here’s the deal with Smiling

(or for that matter, laughing)

FAKING   IT

is

MAKING IT!

Don’t believe me. . .or anyone else

Go Lab Experiment

on Yourself

Try. . .

disproving it!

(Scheve, Tom, “How Many Muscles Does It Take To Smile? Discovery Fit & Health. (2011)

P O N D E R I N G S

By 2 Comments

Are you an

U    N    R    E    C    O    G    N    I    Z    E    D

 C A R I N G       C A T A L Y S T ?

Are you finding yourself

l i t e r a l l y

dying  for

S o m e      T h i n g s

instead of

Living  for

S o m e       O t h e r s ?

Want some fantastically good news?

You are genuinely just

O          N          E

K i n d n e s s

O            N           E

C o m p a s s i o n a t e

O           N           E

C a r i n g

act

a  w  a  y

from forever becoming

i   m   m   o   r   t   a   l .     .     .

B  E

The  Ripple

that causes

countless others in many more.     .     .

Lap up on other’s shores

and change it forever – – –

it’s the only thing

that not only matters,

but

l          a          s          t          s

for

an 

e v e r !

Don’t be

the one

who fails to recognize

what you notice.

P O N D E R I N G S,  

for a Ba-Zillion, Alex.

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man