W O W
60 years ago Paul Harvey originally aired
A LETTER FROM GOD
and admittedly so, it has been updated a little since those 60 years ago but there’s nothing like hearing an
OLD MESSAGE
IN A NEW WAY
and then again, who knows
if it was heard
THEN
any more than it’s heard
N O W
. . .maybe that’s an answer your dealing with right now, November 6, 2023 and maybe even more realizing
IT’S EASY LIVING IN WHAT WAS WORLD
without ever noticing
WHAT IS
or
WHAT CAN BE. . .
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Maybe that’s why it’s so tough not only hearing an
OLD MESSAGE
in a
NEW WAY
but
being different or
actually
L I V I N G
I T
(Here’s a tip of the hat to Paul and an invitation hear in a new way an old message and to be better because of it. . .)
HOPE DISPENSERS
ARE YOU HOPEFUL. . .
(or maybe more importantly)
ARE YOU A HOPE DISPENSER
in a world that keeps making us feel
h o p e l e s s
How to Cultivate Hope
When You Don’t Have Any. . .
Illustrations by Brown Bird Design
Isn’t that what the world is searching for, so much so that it’s not even Love Sweet Love as the old 60’s song would bemoan…but plain, unadulterated HOPE. . .
Time Magazine’s, Angela Haupt gives a glimpse of what not so much could be but already IS and how we might expand it and make it more powerful without adding any water, but the seeds of our pure intention to not only be more hopeful, but actually become
HOPE DISPENSERS and yes. . . HOPE HARVESTERS. . .
There’s a sense, once a whisper, that’s growing louder every day. Glaciers are melting; children are being slaughtered; hatred runs rampant. Sometimes it feels like the world’s approaching a nadir. Or like you are.
The antidote to any despair might be hope, experts say. It’s one of the most powerful—and essential—human mindsets, and possible to achieve even when it feels out of reach. “Hope is a way of thinking,” says Chan Hellman, a psychologist who’s the founding director of the Hope Research Center at the University of Oklahoma. “We know it can be taught; we know it can be nurtured. It’s not something you either have or don’t have.”
Many people, he notes, don’t fully understand what hope is—and what it isn’t. Being hopeful doesn’t mean engaging in wishful thinking or blind optimism. Rather, it’s “the belief or the expectation that the future can be better, and that more importantly, we have the capacity to pursue that future,” Hellman says. The opposite of hope, therefore, is not pessimism, but rather apathy, with its loss of motivation. And while wishing is passive, hope is about taking action.
Being hopeful is associated with a wide array of health and life benefits. “Our capacity for hope is one of the strongest predictors of well-being,” Hellman says. Research suggests, for example, that people with more hope throughout their lives have fewer chronic health problems; are less likely to be depressed or anxious; have stronger social support; and tend to live longer. As Hellman points out, “Hope begets hope, and it has such a significant protective factor.”
Hellman was asked along with other experts for strategies that can help cultivate hope—even when it feels unattainable.
1. First, give yourself permission to be hopeful
Remember when you were a kid, and well-intentioned adults cautioned you not to get your hopes up? That mentality can linger, notes David Feldman, a professor of counseling psychology at Santa Clara University in California who studies hope. “The truth is, whether or not we allow ourselves to hope, at some point we’re going to be disappointed. I don’t think the solution is never allowing ourselves to feel hopeful or giving up on hope altogether.”
Feldman—who designed a widely used single-session “Hope Workshop”—thinks of hope as the psychological engine that drives progress in our lives. He worries that if we all give up on it, “we’re creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.” So go ahead and grant yourself permission to look toward the future with excitement and ambition.
2. Set at least one meaningful goal
In the mid-1980s, the psychologist Charles Snyder set out to determine what qualities hopeful people had in common. He landed on three key factors that form the basis for Hope Theory, a model researchers still rely on today: First, in order to be hopeful, Snyder found, people must think in a goal-oriented way. (More on the other two elements, pathways and agency, in a moment.)
Make it a point to always be working toward at least one goal that’s intrinsically meaningful, Feldman advises. In other words, it shouldn’t be something you have to do—like crossing off your work to-do list—but something you want to do. “Goals can be anything that’s important to us,” he says.
Feldman recalls a friend who reached out to him in May 2020, newly furloughed from her job, scared about the pandemic, and feeling utterly hopeless. He asked her if she could set one goal that would allow her to use her talents and make her feel empowered. The woman, who enjoyed sewing, ended up pledging to turn scraps of fabric into face masks—and donated 200 to local nonprofits and charity groups. “When I caught up with her a month later, she was transformed—she felt so much more hopeful,” he says.
3. Brainstorm solutions
Another key element of Snyder’s Hope Theory is “pathways.” Feldman describes this as “kind of a strange psychology term that means having the perception that there are plans or ways of getting you from where you are to your goals.” If you’ve set a goal that’s meaningful to you, but you can’t figure out a way to achieve it, you’ll probably feel pretty hopeless. People who are high in hope, meanwhile, tend to generate lots of pathways—so if one doesn’t work out, they have an alternative at the ready. If you’re struggling to make a plan, or you keep being blocked—by someone else, or an unfair system, or bad luck—Feldman suggests sitting down with a pen and paper and giving yourself an hour to brainstorm solutions.
4. Call your support team
According to Snyder’s research, people who are hopeful tend to have a lot of “agency,” which means the motivation to actually achieve their goals. Getting a good night’s rest, following a healthy diet, and meditating can all promote agency, Feldman says. So can tapping into our own positive beliefs about ourselves; there’s a certain power to reminding yourself: “I got this.”
Sometimes, however, the strongest source of agency is other people. When Feldman is feeling low, he calls his father, who’s his biggest cheerleader. Having someone you care about tell you they believe in you “can give you a kick in the behind,” he says. Make a list of your biggest supporters, Feldman suggests, so when you’re feeling unmotivated, you know exactly who to call for a boost.
5. Seek out success stories
Mary Beth Medvide has long been curious about the ways hope manifests in the lives of marginalized groups, like first-generation immigrants. So she set out to explore how low-income students of color experienced it in their daily lives.
In part, she found, they cultivated hope by seeking support from their parents and specific teachers. But they also got a lot out of meeting or learning about other people who had done well for themselves. “By seeing other people succeed—like maybe a senior, when they were a sophomore—they felt like they could succeed,” says Medvide, an assistant professor of psychology at Suffolk University in Boston. Indeed, research suggests that high levels of hope are associated with academic achievement and career exploration.
That’s something we can all apply to our own lives: Make it a point to read books about or even befriend people who have overcome adversity to achieve their goals, and you’ll likely feel more hopeful about your own future, Medvide says.
6. Tap into your imagination
Hellman thinks of imagination as “the instrument of hope.” Let’s say you set a goal for the week, like applying for five jobs, helping your kid adjust to preschool, or volunteering for two hours. Spend a few minutes reflecting on or talking about what would happen if you achieved it. “How does it impact you, or how would it benefit others, and who are those other people?” he says. “You and I have this wonderful capacity to play a movie in our head. And when you can see yourself in the future, that is the very essence of hope.”
So. . .
If hope were money
how much would you have right now
and how much would you be willing to give
to be a true HOPE DISPENSER. . . ?
THE UNSPEAKABLE
I WON’T APOLOGIZE. . .
Usually on my Wednesday blog post I like posting an educational piece that helps us to be more caring, more loving, more forgiving, more accepting, more of, well a Caring Catalyst. . .
AND THEN. . .
the World comes in and becomes the worst version of itself and, well, maybe the most Catalyst thing that can happen here is to find some common ground that is literally shaking and ablaze.
I’ve read all of Rabbi Steve Leder’s books and re-read two of them twice, maybe now a third time after the events of these past few days in Israel. In fact, I went to his Facebook page; not the first time, but now, the right time to share what he has to share for us all right now:
An important reminder for absolutely everyone: it’s okay to not feel okay right now. It’s okay to feel sad, to feel like you need help, to feel like you need time alone, to feel like you need a hug. This is not normal. None of this is normal. We are seeing extreme hatred, and we are witnessing horrific acts of violence and murder perpetrated by terrorists. Many of you are feeling alone, let down, disappointed, and angry. And that’s okay. Feel your feelings. But keep using your voice. Keep shouting the message of support for Israel. Keep standing up to Jew Hatred at all costs. We need you, and Israel needs you, but you must take care of yourself too! 🇮🇱💙 #standwithisrael
I direct messaged Steve (again, not the first time) to not only tell him how much I appreciated his words FOR ALL OF US right now, but also to let me know, to thank him for once again putting a Voice to the Unspeakable and most of all, for the Voiceless. . . and then ultimately to share the following most directly from him to us:
There are a lot of mistruths right now about what is happening in Israel, but it is imperative to get educated, to learn the facts, and stand up to the myths that are circulating. These are not opinions, these are facts! Once again, share them, amplify them, spread them wide. 🇮🇱 #standwithisrael
This is not a usual Caring Catalyst Educational Wednesday Blog Post
I’m not sorry for not only not keeping to ‘The Standard’ but also to unabashedly inviting you to join me in not standing by silently when our Voices need now, right now, need to be THE VOICE that knows no harmony of discord. . .
JOIN ME
It’s time to be more of a
F L A M E
than a
f l i c k e r
Let’s be living proof that we are stronger than a Village;
we are Continents of Care
IT’S ALL IN (OR OUT OF) MY MIND
So. . .IS IT ALL IN YOUR HEAD
or just out of your mind?
(. . .think about it. . .)
The Surprising Ways Your Mind Influences Your Health. . .
A new book argues that we can harness the connection between our minds and our physiology for better health
. . .BUT IS IT A BOOK WE WOULD READ
OR APPLY. . . ?
Well, thankfully, Jill Suite from Greater Good Magazine did read the book and helped break it down for us.
In 1979, Harvard researcher Ellen Langer invited elderly men to spend a week at a retreat designed to remind them of their younger days, surrounded by the art, music, food, games, décor, and more from the late 1950s. Afterward, the men were tested and found to have made significant gains in hearing, memory, dexterity, posture, and general well-being. It was as if being in a place signaling their younger days made them physiologically “younger.”
Maybe you, too, have had an experience where your mind seemed to affect your health. It turns out there’s a reason for that, according to Langer, author of the new book The Mindful Body. Your mind is not separate from your physiology, and changing your mindset in various ways can lead to a happier, healthier life.
Though her book is called The Mindful Body, it’s not a book promoting mindfulness meditation, per se. Instead, it’s an argument against mindlessly accepting that our health and cognition will invariably decline, especially as we age, and the importance of letting go of limiting beliefs that keep us from being our most vital selves.
“I believe the mind and body comprise a single system, and every change in the human being is essentially simultaneously a change at the level of the mind (that is, cognitive change) as well as the body (a hormonal, neural, and/or behavioral change),” she writes. “When we open our minds to this idea of mind-body unity, new possibilities for controlling our health become real.”
How your mind influences your body
Langer recounts dozens (if not hundreds) of studies in her book illustrating how our mindset affects our physiology. For example, in one study, nursing home residents who were encouraged to take responsibility for simple decisions or care for a plant were twice as likely to be alive 18 months later. In another, housekeepers lost more weight, had lower blood pressure, and had lower body mass indices when they were prompted to consider their work as comparable to exercising in a gym, compared to other housekeepers given general health information but doing the same work. In still another, giving people information about their (fictitious) level of risk for obesity affected their metabolism and how they felt about exercise and hunger (regardless of their actual level of risk).
In one mind-blowing study, Langer had people with type 2 diabetes play video games while checking a clock every 15 minutes. Unbeknownst to the participants, some clocks ran on time, while others ran either twice as fast or twice as slow. Based on blood readings, those whose clocks ran faster (who believed more time had passed) had lower blood sugar levels than any other participants—meaning, they were using up energy faster than people in groups with slower clocks. The participants’ perception of time affected their energy consumption more than the actual time that had passed!
Despite these kinds of findings, the effects of our minds on our bodies are often called a “placebo effect” in research and dismissed as irrelevant, says Langer. In fact, she argues, many studies find that a placebo is as effective or outperforms a drug, but those studies are rarely published. This makes it hard to understand and harness a placebo’s potential for healing.
“What we should be learning from these studies is not that a particular drug is ineffective but rather how effective the placebo may have been,” she writes.
In one review of research, for example, researchers concluded that anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication were no more effective than placebos. But why were the placebos effective? No one really knows, though it could be due to expectations of getting better rather than any effects from the drugs themselves. As evidence for the power of suggestion, Langer and her colleagues have found that you can improve your vision—seemingly an intractable condition—when you’re told it’s possible to do so with practice.
In other words, expectations matter.
How to harness the power of your mind
What all this means for our lives is a bit tricky, as Langer isn’t suggesting we abandon all medical research and start healing ourselves with our minds alone. Nor is she suggesting we put everyone in an artificial living environment to pretend that we are young again, or that we are in total control of our health. But she does think we can use the power of our minds to change our health and well-being in ways that are mostly untapped.
How can you use your mind to help yourself? To start, she suggests adhering to a few basic principles:
1. Question authority—meaning, don’t follow all recommendations just because an expert tells you to. Life is uncertain, and we are individuals, with our own unique makeup. So, for example, if your doctor tells you that being one point above the threshold for “high cholesterol” requires a complete change of diet or medication, you might question that before complying. After all, there is little real difference between someone one point above versus one point below the threshold, and that reading may change one day to the next.
2. Recognize that what counts as “risky” is different from person to person. One person’s risk is another’s reasonable plan of action, making sense to them in the moment (based on their self-knowledge and available resources). Behavior can’t be judged in a vacuum. So, for example, backcountry skiing may seem risky to you and not worth doing, but it could be great fun and adventurous for someone else.
3. Approach predictions with skepticism. The future is never completely knowable. If things are looking bad, you shouldn’t assume you’re on a trajectory that will only get worse. In fact, many dire predictions turn out to be wrong or are later disproven. For example, not all people with pre-cancer go on to get cancer, nor is surgery or chemotherapy always necessary. In fact, some chemotherapy treatments once commonly used have been discontinued because they do more harm than good.
4. Understand how our choices are never completely “right” or “wrong.” You should focus less on regretting “bad decisions” and more on how to make your choices, whatever they are, work out for you. Look for the positive. For example, if you move to a new city and don’t love it right away, you shouldn’t regret your decision to move. Instead, you can focus on what the new city offers—maybe new forms of entertainment, different people to meet and befriend, or closer public parks to enjoy.
5. Avoid social comparisons or ranking yourself. This is never good for our health or happiness. Instead of chasing achievement relative to others, focus on finding meaning in what you’re already doing—whatever it is. For example, caretaking the elderly can be boring or stressful, and is often poorly compensated. But when you do it out of love or a sense of providing dignity to others, it can feel more rewarding.
As Langer notes, “When we make these shifts in our thinking, our relationships with others and ourselves improve, and our stress lessens, all in the service of improving our health.”
Be mindful of how everything changes
Langer also cautions us to be more mindful of our everyday experiences. She doesn’t mean meditate more—she wants us to notice variations in our state of being. If we pay attention to how our pain, energy levels, poor mood, or other symptoms of illness are changing over time, moment to moment, we can break out of rigid, fixed beliefs that we are sick or damaged and notice the moments when we feel happy, healthy, or pain-free.
“Paying attention to variability helps us see that symptoms come and go, which helps us home in on the situations and circumstances that might contribute to these fluctuations so that we might exert some control over them,” she writes. For example, if you pay mindful attention to variances in knee pain during the day, you may notice that you feel better after a walk and make a plan to take more walks.
In the book, she presents several studies where people with various ailments were trained to notice more variability in their symptoms—when they felt better or worse over time—and had better outcomes as a result. For example, studies have found that mindful attention to variability has helped people control their own heart rate, helped ALS patients experience less pain and physical impairment, and helped expectant mothers enjoy greater well-being—as well as better outcomes for their newborns.
Perhaps Langer’s most provocative advice is reserved for doctors and others who treat illness, mental or physical. When delivering news to patients, she writes, practitioners would do well to present diagnoses and prognoses in tentative ways, allowing for the possibility of being wrong and for more optimistic outlooks. By doing so, she says, practitioners could help patients hold loosely the labels that make them see themselves in fixed ways and become, instead, more mindful, active participants in their own health care.
“When health professionals mindlessly assume every symptom is part of the disease they’ve diagnosed or are treating, they give up the possibility to potentially influence the course of a patient’s illness,” she writes. “Diagnoses, while useful, direct attention to only a fraction of lived experience; context influences our physical responses.”
To that end, Langer hopes that all of us can hold certainty more lightly, not accept dire prognoses without question, pay more attention to how our experiences change over time, and be open to using the power of our minds to help ourselves enjoy life more.
“Once we recognize that mindless decisions from the past are limiting us, there is little stopping us from redesigning the world to better fit our current needs rather than using yesterday to determine today and tomorrow,” she writes.
DREAM ON
AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO
What would you do?
o r
is it
WHAT DO YOU DO. . . ?
It’s the First Lecture of a brand new semester. . .
The professor enters the lecture hall. He looks around. . .
“You there in the 8th row. Can you tell me your name?” he asks a student.
“My name is Sandra” says a voice.
The professor asks her, “Please leave my lecture hall. I don’t want to see you in my lecture.”
Everyone is quiet. The student is irritated, slowly packs her things and stands up.
“Faster please” she is asked.
She doesn’t dare to say anything and leaves the lecture hall.
The professor keeps looking around.
The participants are scared.
“Why are there laws?” he asks the group.
All quiet. Everyone looks at the others.
“What are laws for?” he asks again.
“Social order” is heard from a row
A student says “To protect a person’s personal rights.”
Another says “So that you can rely on the state.”
The professor is not satisfied.
“Justice” calls out a student.
The professor smiling. She has his attention.
“Thank you very much. Did I behave unfairly towards your classmate earlier?”
Everyone nods.
“Indeed I did. Why didn’t anyone protest?
Why didn’t any of you try to stop me?
Why didn’t you want to prevent this injustice?” he asks.
Nobody answers. . .
THE SILENCE LITERALLY SHOUTS OUT A BLARING
W H Y ?
“What you just learned you wouldn’t have understood in 1,000 hours of lectures if you hadn’t lived it. You didn’t say anything just because you weren’t affected yourself. This attitude speaks against you and against life. You think as long as it doesn’t concern you, it’s none of your business. I’m telling you, if you don’t say anything today and don’t bring about justice, then one day you too will experience injustice and no one will stand before you. Justice lives through us all. We have to fight for it.”
“In life and at work, we often live next to each other instead of with each other. We console ourselves that the problems of others are none of our business. We go home and are glad that we were spared. But it’s also about standing up for others. Every day an injustice happens in business, in sports or on the tram. Relying on someone to sort it out is not enough. It is our duty to be there for others. Speaking for others when they cannot. . .
The difference is being a caring catalyst and
ACTING LIKE A CARING CATALYST
. . .which ONE are you
We’re all way past asking what would you do. . .
we are right here, right now, showing
WHAT DO YOU DO
(or. . .d o n ‘ t)
MARY MERRY
OH do you have time
to linger
for just a little while
out of your busy
and very important day
for the goldfinches
that have gathered
in a field of thistles
for a musical battle,
to see who can sing
the highest note,
or the lowest,
or the most expressive of mirth,
or the most tender?
Their strong, blunt beaks
drink the air
as they strive
melodiously
not for your sake
and not for mine
and not for the sake of winning
but for sheer delight and gratitude –
believe us, they say,
it is a serious thing
just to be alive
on this fresh morning
in the broken world.
I beg of you,
do not walk by
without pausing
to attend to this
rather ridiculous performance.
It could mean something.
It could mean everything.
It could be what Rilke meant, when he wrote:
You must change your life.
MARY MERRY
Mary has a way of
making Merry
that allows a
marrying between
Who we are
and Who we’ve yet to Recognize
The Who we are now
in a Forest yet to be walked
A Lake yet to be swam
A bird, an animal yet to be
Observed or named
A Universe yet to know
Another Sun’s rays
A poem
not yet to be written
even as it ever is being
composed
not so deeply within us
as it rises to surfaces
waiting to support
new FoundationsIt was the birthday of best-selling poet Mary Oliver, on September 10; she was born in Maple Heights, Ohio (1935). As a child, she spent most of her time outside, wandering around the woods, reading and writing poems.
Oliver went to college in the ’50s at Ohio State University and Vassar, but dropped out. She made a pilgrimage to visit Edna St. Vincent Millay’s 800-acre estate in Austerlitz, New York. The poet had been dead for several years, but Millay’s sister Norma lived there along with her husband. Mary Oliver and Norma hit it off, and Oliver lived there for years, helping out on the estate, keeping Norma company, and working on her own writing. In 1958, a woman named Molly Malone Cook came to visit Norma while Oliver was there, and the two fell in love. A few years later, they moved together to Provincetown, Massachusetts.
Oliver said: “I was very careful never to take an interesting job. Not an interesting one. I took lots of jobs. But if you have an interesting job you get interested in it. I also began in those years to keep early hours. […] If anybody has a job and starts at 9, there’s no reason why they can’t get up at 4:30 or 5 and write for a couple of hours, and give their employers their second-best effort of the day — which is what I did.”
She published five books of poetry, and still almost no one had heard of her. She doesn’t remember ever having given a reading before 1984, which is the year that she was doing dishes one evening when the phone rang and it was someone calling to tell her that her most recent book, American Primitive (1983), had won the Pulitzer Prize. Suddenly, she was famous. She didn’t really like the fame — she didn’t give many interviews, didn’t want to be in the news. She once wrote in an introduction to a poetry collection, “I have felt all my life that I was wise, and tasteful, too, to speak very little about myself — to deflect the curiosity in the personal self that descends upon writers, especially in this country and at this time, from both casual and avid readers.”
When editors called their house for Oliver, Cook would answer, announce that she was going to get Oliver, fake footsteps, and then get back on the phone and pretend to be the poet — all so that Oliver didn’t have to talk on the phone to strangers, something she did not enjoy. Cook was a photographer, and she was also Oliver’s literary agent. They stayed together for more than 40 years, until Cook’s death in 2005.
Oliver said: “I’ve always wanted to write poems and nothing else. There were times over the years when life was not easy, but if you’re working a few hours a day and you’ve got a good book to read, and you can go outside to the beach and dig for clams, you’re okay.”
Oliver’s books of poems include No Voyage (1963), The River Styx, Ohio, and Other Poems (1972), Twelve Moons (1978), The Leaf and the Cloud (2000), Owls and Other Fantasies (2003), Red Bird (2008), Dog Songs (2013), and Velocity (2015). Her most recent collection, Devotions, comes out in October of this year.
#TheWritersAlmanac
|
A MORE GENTLE, HUMBLE YOU
Is today
T H A T
D A Y
you’ll make a
DIFFERENCE
you’ll be a
DIFFERENCE
you’ll feel a
DIFFERENCE
Being a consistent CARING CATALYST
is a great way to take the
MAYBE
of it all
out of the equation
for you making
for you giving
a great day
for Others
for Yourself. . .
A new study finds that when we practice intellectual humility, we have less animosity toward the “other side” of political debates. . .
But. . .when it comes to social and political issues, many Americans feel hostile toward those they disagree with. Unfortunately, those feelings of contempt can affect our ability to cooperate, keeping us from working together on solutions to the big issues of our day—like our economy, climate change, poverty, and racism.
How can we engage with each other with less rancor and hostility and all out hate? According to a new study, we might want to practice a bit more intellectual humility.
In this study, Glen Smith of the University of North Georgia analyzed data from surveys in 2020 (prior to the presidential election) and 2021, where over 1,700 participants reported on how strongly they opposed or supported political issues of the day (making college free, legalizing marijuana, imposing higher tariffs on foreign goods, and abolishing the death penalty). For each issue, the participants were also asked if they thought their views could be wrong, if they might be overlooking evidence that contradicts their position, and if they might change their view if presented with additional evidence or information—all questions related to intellectual humility.
Afterward, the participants also reported how they felt about people who had a different viewpoint from theirs on each topic—meaning, how warmly they felt toward opponents and how smart, honest, moral, and open-minded their opponents were.
After analyzing the results, Smith found that those who held more intellectually humble attitudes on a topic viewed opponents in a more positive light—more warmly and as more smart, honest, moral, and open-minded. In fact, their own intellectual humility was a better predictor of their hostility toward others than their own ideology, political party, political knowledge, or strength of their opinion.
This tendency held true even within an individual. If people held more humble views on a specific topic, they were less likely to dislike or dismiss an opponent in comparison to topics where they held more arrogant views. This suggests intellectual humility can be variable and context-specific, which could be a good thing for reducing political animosity.
“When people hold opinions with humility, they feel less hostility toward those who disagree, while the more people think they know about an issue, the less humble they are and the more hostile they are towards other people,” says Smith.
Why would being humbler affect us like this? Smith says that we tend to assign negative qualities in our minds to people who disagree with us—maybe thinking they’re less educated or have a moral defect—which, in turn, makes us dislike those people. But, when we hold some doubt about the rightness of our beliefs, we’re more open to listening to others without feeling hostile just because they see things differently.
“If I’m humble, there’s an implication there that I might be wrong and you might be right. And, if that’s the case, then why would I hate you? It doesn’t make any sense,” he says.
Nudging people to be humbler can lessen hostility
This finding doesn’t necessarily prove that being humbler causes less animosity. To get at that, Smith did an experiment where he tried to increase people’s humility.
In the experiment, 306 participants were asked to rate the strength of pro and con arguments on whether marijuana should be legalized, while told to ignore how they personally felt about the issue. In some cases, people read just one pro and one con argument; in other cases, they read a third argument in which the author expressed uncertainty about the potential effects of legalizing marijuana—saying they didn’t know enough about it—and, because of that, they were afraid of legalizing it.
Afterward, the participants were asked if the arguments they read changed their opinion. They also reported how humble they were around the topic of legalization and how they felt about people who were making arguments against their own position. Smith found that none of the arguments made a big difference in people’s opinions on the topic. But those who read the humbler argument felt more humility than those who read just the pro and con arguments, even though they rated the humble argument as the least convincing. And, as a result of feeling more humility, they also felt less animosity toward opponents.
“Humility doesn’t have to change your mind on the underlying issue, but being exposed to an expression of humility has an independent effect on how you feel,” says Smith. “It can make you both humbler and more accepting of disagreement.”
Perhaps this means that humility can be cultivated in particular contexts—at least to some extent. Nudging people toward expressing less certainty and more humility around their knowledge of sociopolitical topics might lessen other people’s defensiveness, leading to less hostility and more productive conversations.
Of course, Smith’s results don’t necessarily mean that intellectual humility will always be helpful. When it comes to other, more contentious issues—like climate change or abortion rights—it may be harder to encourage people to reconsider their position or listen to the other side without hostility. Nor do the results imply that politicians and others who benefit from increased polarization will be eager to embrace intellectual humility.
But it does provide some hope. By practicing more humility, we can foster more positive dialogue, at the very least, says Smith, and maybe make a dent in political polarization.
“If you can approach arguments by admitting that you don’t know everything, it’s contagious. Other people start to question how much they know and take a less defensive approach,” he says. “If we can become humbler and accept that people disagree with us for good reasons, we can reduce some of the acrimony.”
T S U N D O K U
THERE IS THE LITERAL VISUAL DEFINITION OF
T S U N D O K U:
A
S T A C K
O F
B O O K S
The value of owning more books than you can read
- Many readers buy books with every intention of reading them only to let them linger on the shelf.
- Statistician Nassim Nicholas Taleb believes surrounding ourselves with unread books enriches our lives as they remind us of all we don’t know.
- The Japanese call this practice tsundoku, and it may provide lasting benefits.
Kevin Dickson recently wrote an article for BIG THINK that caught the attention of my friend, a fellow Book Lover like myself that immediately took the weight of a severe guilt I carry and am reminded of even as I type and watch the AMAZON person drop me off another book selection I just recently read about.
Kevin confesses: I love books. If I go to the bookstore to check a price, I walk out with three books I probably didn’t know existed beforehand. I buy second-hand books by the bagful at the Friends of the Library sale, while explaining to my wife that it’s for a good cause. Even the smell of books grips me, that faint aroma of earthy vanilla that wafts up at you when you flip a page. Hmmmmmmmmmm. . . .
The problem is that my book-buying habit outpaces my ability to read them. This leads to FOMO and occasional pangs of guilt over the unread volumes spilling across my shelves. Sound familiar?
But it’s possible this guilt is entirely misplaced. According to statistician Nassim Nicholas Taleb, these unread volumes represent what he calls an “antilibrary,” and he believes our antilibraries aren’t signs of intellectual failings. Quite the opposite.
LIVING WITH AN ANTILIBRARY
Taleb laid out the concept of the antilibrary in his best-selling bookThe Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable. He starts with a discussion of the prolific author and scholar Umberto Eco, whose personal library housed a staggering 30,000 books.
When Eco hosted visitors, many would marvel at the size of his library and assumed it represented the host’s knowledge — which, make no mistake, was expansive. But a few savvy visitors realized the truth: Eco’s library wasn’t voluminous because he had read so much; it was voluminous because he desired to read so much more.
Eco stated as much. Doing a back-of-the-envelope calculation, he found he could only read about 25,200 books if he read one book a day, every day, between the ages of ten and eighty. A “trifle,” he laments, compared to the million books available at any good library.
Drawing from Eco’s example, Taleb deduces:
Read books are far less valuable than unread ones. [Your] library should contain as much of what you do not know as your financial means, mortgage rates, and the currently tight real-estate market allows you to put there. You will accumulate more knowledge and more books as you grow older, and the growing number of unread books on the shelves will look at you menacingly. Indeed, the more you know, the larger the rows of unread books. Let us call this collection of unread books an antilibrary.
Maria Popova, whose post at Brain Pickings summarizes Taleb’s argument beautifully, notes that our tendency is to overestimate the value of what we know, while underestimating the value of what we don’t know. Taleb’s antilibrary flips this tendency on its head.
The antilibrary’s value stems from how it challenges our self-estimation by providing a constant, niggling reminder of all we don’t know. The titles lining my own home remind me that I know little to nothing about cryptography, the evolution of feathers, Italian folklore, illicit drug use in the Third Reich, and whatever entomophagy is. (Don’t spoil it; I want to be surprised.)
“We tend to treat our knowledge as personal property to be protected and defended,” Taleb writes. “It is an ornament that allows us to rise in the pecking order. So this tendency to offend Eco’s library sensibility by focusing on the known is a human bias that extends to our mental operations.”
These selves of unexplored ideas propel us to continue reading, continue learning, and never be comfortable that we know enough. Jessica Stillman calls this realization intellectual humility.
People who lack this intellectual humility — those without a yearning to acquire new books or visit their local library — may enjoy a sense of pride at having conquered their personal collection, but such a library provides all the use of a wall-mounted trophy. It becomes an “ego-booting appendage” for decoration alone. Not a living, growing resource we can learn from until we are 80 — and, if we are lucky, a few years beyond.
T S U N D O K U
I love Taleb’s concept, but I must admit I find the label “antilibrary” a bit lacking. For me, it sounds like a plot device in a knockoff Dan Brown novel — “Quick! We have to stop the Illuminati before they use the antilibrary to erase all the books in existence.”
Writing for the New York Times, Kevin Mims also doesn’t care for Taleb’s label. Thankfully, his objection is a bit more practical: “I don’t really like Taleb’s term ‘antilibrary.’ A library is a collection of books, many of which remain unread for long periods of time. I don’t see how that differs from an antilibrary.”
His preferred label is a loanword from Japan: tsundoku. Tsundoku is the Japanese word for the stack(s) of books you’ve purchased but haven’t read. Its morphology combines tsunde-oku (letting things pile up) and dukosho (reading books).
The word originated in the late 19th century as a satirical jab at teachers who owned books but didn’t read them. While that is opposite of Taleb’s point, today the word carries no stigma in Japanese culture. It’s also differs from bibliomania, which is the obsessive collecting of books for the sake of the collection, not their eventual reading.
THE VALUE OF TSUNDOKU
Granted, I’m sure there is some braggadocious bibliomaniac out there who owns a collection comparable to a small national library, yet rarely cracks a cover. Even so, studies have shown that book ownership and reading typically go hand in hand to great effect.
One such study found that children who grew up in homes with between 80 and 350 books showed improved literacy, numeracy, and information communication technology skills as adults. Exposure to books, the researchers suggested, boosts these cognitive abilities by making reading a part of life’s routines and practices.
Many other studies have shown reading habits relay a bevy of benefits. They suggest reading can reduce stress, satisfy social connection needs, bolster social skills and empathy, and boost certain cognitive skills. And that’s just fiction! Reading nonfiction is correlated with success and high achievement, helps us better understand ourselves and the world, and gives you the edge come trivia night.
In her article, Jessica Stillman ponders whether the antilibrary acts as a counter to the Dunning-Kruger effect, a cognitive bias that leads ignorant people to assume their knowledge or abilities are more proficient than they truly are. Since people are not prone to enjoying reminders of their ignorance, their unread books push them toward, if not mastery, then at least a ever-expanding understanding of competence.
“All those books you haven’t read are indeed a sign of your ignorance. But if you know how ignorant you are, you’re way ahead of the vast majority of other people,” Stillman writes.
Whether you prefer the term antilibrary, tsundoku, or something else entirely, the value of an unread book is its power to get you to read it.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Now if you’ll excuse me. . .
THERE’S
THIS
B O O K. . .
Eco stated as much. Doing a back-of-the-envelope calculation, he found he could only read about 25,200 books if he read one book a day, every day, between the ages of ten and eighty. A “trifle,” he laments, compared to the million books available at any good library.
Drawing from Eco’s example, Taleb deduces:
Read books are far less valuable than unread ones. [Your] library should contain as much of what you do not know as your financial means, mortgage rates, and the currently tight real-estate market allows you to put there. You will accumulate more knowledge and more books as you grow older, and the growing number of unread books on the shelves will look at you menacingly. Indeed, the more you know, the larger the rows of unread books. Let us call this collection of unread books an antilibrary. [Emphasis original]
IT’S NOT ALL GEOMETRY
It may not all be geometry, but it is something else. . .
I recently stumbled on a brief article written by the professional speaker, Lou Hacker who’s been in the business of speaking/consulting and coaching speakers and business on service for well over 40 plus years now. He started out by saying he had been thinking about Peyton Manning and a tree service professional; he got me thinking about them, too. He related that he had read an interview once with former pro quarterback Peyton Manning where he was asked how he could so quickly spot potential receivers and then fire a forward pass a long way as they ran under it and made the reception. “”It’s all geometry,” was his answer. He said he was able to compute the angle and their speed and put the pass right where he wanted it. This past week there have been a lot of local tree services who have been taking down a lot of trees in the area because of some really bad storms last week in the Northeast Ohio area. I remember asking a guy who once took down several of our trees in the front and the back of our house who climbed the 60-70 feet to begin the process what the secret was to his amazing skills to saw the tree in sections and with the help of his crew, lower them safely to the ground. His response: “It’s all geometry!” WHAT??? I remember almost all of the Math teachers I ever had saying, “You just never know when Math will come in handy later in your life.” I never believed that, mostly because I’ve always had a fairly unhealthy relationship with
Mathematics. . .
I believe each of us has a super power that if discovered and used properly fuels our ultimate success. Crazy as it sounds, I knew from my very early years that I would always be in front of an audience. What made most of my friends quiver and sweat made me feel great — speaking in class, handling the public address systems, reciting a book report, leading youth group sessions, well, that led me to more than 40 years as a professional speaker, keynote speaker, master of ceremonies, wedding and funeral officiant, and workshop leader/teacher. In your field, maybe it’s not some mathematical integers or put bluntly, “all geometry,”
B U T. . .
Do you know what your super power is? More importantly are you nurturing it, growing it and using it to benefit others?
It may not all be geometry, but it is something else which begs me to ask you.
What is your something else. . . ?
I’m a Math
never quite to be understood
A Geometry with no angles or straight lines
An Algebra without integers
A Calculus without Numbers
A Trigonometry without symbols
And though I don’t often
Add Up
And often feel Divided
I’m searching for a goodness
that multiplies whatever can never
be subtracted
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