W O W
60 years ago Paul Harvey originally aired
A LETTER FROM GOD
and admittedly so, it has been updated a little since those 60 years ago but there’s nothing like hearing an
OLD MESSAGE
IN A NEW WAY
and then again, who knows
if it was heard
THEN
any more than it’s heard
N O W
. . .maybe that’s an answer your dealing with right now, November 6, 2023 and maybe even more realizing
IT’S EASY LIVING IN WHAT WAS WORLD
without ever noticing
WHAT IS
or
WHAT CAN BE. . .
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Maybe that’s why it’s so tough not only hearing an
OLD MESSAGE
in a
NEW WAY
but
being different or
actually
L I V I N G
I T
(Here’s a tip of the hat to Paul and an invitation hear in a new way an old message and to be better because of it. . .)
FAMOUS GRIEF
Most of us escape life and living cleanly. Uhhhhh, we may clean up well but there’s always a residue that resides on each of us and try as we T R Y to cover it all up, IT remains almost like the very skin that contains the profound and profane of our very essence.
So when we hear of the death of a celebrity it comes at us on an aortic level that literally shocks the heart and makes it beat a different rhythm.
All of THIS with the full knowledge that we were born with a terminal, sexually transmitted disease called life. One out of one of us dies~~famous or not. And with each death a lesson. . .now whether it’s learned or not is the issue but never that it’s not been emphatically taught once again.
What Regina Brett, a retired columnist from the Plain Dealer in Cleveland, Ohio and best selling author shared is both, worth being Taught and Learning all over again:
When I learned actor Matthew Perry had died, my heart hurt. He filled so much of our lives with laughter in those ten years he appeared on “Friends.”
I could quote so many of his lines by heart because the show touched my heart. But his greatest gift to us wasn’t his ability to make us laugh, but his ability to make us care.
Perry’s ongoing quest for sobriety is epic in the number of times he failed and in the number of times he kept trying. That’s what I’ll remember him for. He kept trying.
The saint Julian of Norwich wrote, “First the fall, and then the recovery from the fall, and both are the mercy of God.”
Both.
She also wrote, “Our wounds are our glory.”
In his memoir, “Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing,” Perry shared his wounds. He wrote about alcoholism and his addiction to painkillers, including OxyContin, Vicodin and Dilaudid. He spent more than half his life in rehab, detox and treatment centers and spend more than $9 million trying to get sober. He nearly died numerous times. And still, he kept trying again and again. Life was worth the fight.
People are going to share their favorite Chandler Bing moments when he made them laugh on “Friends” but Perry wrote, “When I die, I’d like’ Friends’ to be listed behind ‘helping people.’”
So let’s remember him for helping others. This is how he helped us. He left us these words from his wounded life to guide us. His book was his greatest legacy to help those who struggle with alcoholism and drug addiction:
“The thing that I’m most proud of in my life is that if a stranger came up to me and said, ‘I can’t stop drinking. I can’t stop drinking. Can you help me?’ I can say, ‘Yes, I can help you.’”
“My favorite six words in recovery are: trust God, clean house, and help others.
“The thing is, if I don’t have sobriety, I don’t have anything.”
“The man takes the drink, the drink takes all the rest.”
“Nobody ever thinks that something really bad is going to happen to them. Until it does.”
“Addiction, the big terrible thing, is far too powerful foranyone to defeat alone. But together, one day at a time, we can beat it down.”
We. That’s the key word to recovery. We. It’s the first word of the first step in Alcoholics Anonymous. We.
“I start, I cannot stop. All I had control over was the first drink. After that, all bets were off. (See under: The man takes the drink, the drink takes all the rest.) Once I believe the lie that I can just have one drink, I am no longer responsible for my actions.”
“Alcoholics hate two things: the way things are and change.”
“I think you actually have to have all of your dreams come true to realize they are the wrong dreams.”
“If you spend too much time looking in the rearview mirror, you will crash your car.”
I hope he died with a sense of the peace he had when he wrote this:
“When someone does something nice for someone else, I see God. But you can’t give away something you don’t have. So, I try to improve myself daily. When those moments come and I am needed, I’ve worked out my shit, and do what we are all here for, which is simply to help other people.”
“There’s nothing better than a world where everybody’s just trying to make each other laugh.”
May we remember his laughter but also the lessons he shared to heal the wounds of others.
S O. . .so what. . . ?
This past week I had several wide-eyed looks at grief, raw, guttural and up close not only at some of the ‘Celebrations of Life’ I conducted but also the painful-can’t-breathe-how-am-I-going-to-go-on-living-anticipatory grief I held space with several families as their MATTHEW PERRY was dying. At least three times the same thing, almost verbatim was stated, “What a shame about Matthew Perry, huh?” and the response was the same in all three instances: “I DON’T CARE, my wife, my dad, my sister is dead, is dying. . .”
HOPE DISPENSERS
ARE YOU HOPEFUL. . .
(or maybe more importantly)
ARE YOU A HOPE DISPENSER
in a world that keeps making us feel
h o p e l e s s
How to Cultivate Hope
When You Don’t Have Any. . .
Illustrations by Brown Bird Design
Isn’t that what the world is searching for, so much so that it’s not even Love Sweet Love as the old 60’s song would bemoan…but plain, unadulterated HOPE. . .
Time Magazine’s, Angela Haupt gives a glimpse of what not so much could be but already IS and how we might expand it and make it more powerful without adding any water, but the seeds of our pure intention to not only be more hopeful, but actually become
HOPE DISPENSERS and yes. . . HOPE HARVESTERS. . .
There’s a sense, once a whisper, that’s growing louder every day. Glaciers are melting; children are being slaughtered; hatred runs rampant. Sometimes it feels like the world’s approaching a nadir. Or like you are.
The antidote to any despair might be hope, experts say. It’s one of the most powerful—and essential—human mindsets, and possible to achieve even when it feels out of reach. “Hope is a way of thinking,” says Chan Hellman, a psychologist who’s the founding director of the Hope Research Center at the University of Oklahoma. “We know it can be taught; we know it can be nurtured. It’s not something you either have or don’t have.”
Many people, he notes, don’t fully understand what hope is—and what it isn’t. Being hopeful doesn’t mean engaging in wishful thinking or blind optimism. Rather, it’s “the belief or the expectation that the future can be better, and that more importantly, we have the capacity to pursue that future,” Hellman says. The opposite of hope, therefore, is not pessimism, but rather apathy, with its loss of motivation. And while wishing is passive, hope is about taking action.
Being hopeful is associated with a wide array of health and life benefits. “Our capacity for hope is one of the strongest predictors of well-being,” Hellman says. Research suggests, for example, that people with more hope throughout their lives have fewer chronic health problems; are less likely to be depressed or anxious; have stronger social support; and tend to live longer. As Hellman points out, “Hope begets hope, and it has such a significant protective factor.”
Hellman was asked along with other experts for strategies that can help cultivate hope—even when it feels unattainable.
1. First, give yourself permission to be hopeful
Remember when you were a kid, and well-intentioned adults cautioned you not to get your hopes up? That mentality can linger, notes David Feldman, a professor of counseling psychology at Santa Clara University in California who studies hope. “The truth is, whether or not we allow ourselves to hope, at some point we’re going to be disappointed. I don’t think the solution is never allowing ourselves to feel hopeful or giving up on hope altogether.”
Feldman—who designed a widely used single-session “Hope Workshop”—thinks of hope as the psychological engine that drives progress in our lives. He worries that if we all give up on it, “we’re creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.” So go ahead and grant yourself permission to look toward the future with excitement and ambition.
2. Set at least one meaningful goal
In the mid-1980s, the psychologist Charles Snyder set out to determine what qualities hopeful people had in common. He landed on three key factors that form the basis for Hope Theory, a model researchers still rely on today: First, in order to be hopeful, Snyder found, people must think in a goal-oriented way. (More on the other two elements, pathways and agency, in a moment.)
Make it a point to always be working toward at least one goal that’s intrinsically meaningful, Feldman advises. In other words, it shouldn’t be something you have to do—like crossing off your work to-do list—but something you want to do. “Goals can be anything that’s important to us,” he says.
Feldman recalls a friend who reached out to him in May 2020, newly furloughed from her job, scared about the pandemic, and feeling utterly hopeless. He asked her if she could set one goal that would allow her to use her talents and make her feel empowered. The woman, who enjoyed sewing, ended up pledging to turn scraps of fabric into face masks—and donated 200 to local nonprofits and charity groups. “When I caught up with her a month later, she was transformed—she felt so much more hopeful,” he says.
3. Brainstorm solutions
Another key element of Snyder’s Hope Theory is “pathways.” Feldman describes this as “kind of a strange psychology term that means having the perception that there are plans or ways of getting you from where you are to your goals.” If you’ve set a goal that’s meaningful to you, but you can’t figure out a way to achieve it, you’ll probably feel pretty hopeless. People who are high in hope, meanwhile, tend to generate lots of pathways—so if one doesn’t work out, they have an alternative at the ready. If you’re struggling to make a plan, or you keep being blocked—by someone else, or an unfair system, or bad luck—Feldman suggests sitting down with a pen and paper and giving yourself an hour to brainstorm solutions.
4. Call your support team
According to Snyder’s research, people who are hopeful tend to have a lot of “agency,” which means the motivation to actually achieve their goals. Getting a good night’s rest, following a healthy diet, and meditating can all promote agency, Feldman says. So can tapping into our own positive beliefs about ourselves; there’s a certain power to reminding yourself: “I got this.”
Sometimes, however, the strongest source of agency is other people. When Feldman is feeling low, he calls his father, who’s his biggest cheerleader. Having someone you care about tell you they believe in you “can give you a kick in the behind,” he says. Make a list of your biggest supporters, Feldman suggests, so when you’re feeling unmotivated, you know exactly who to call for a boost.
5. Seek out success stories
Mary Beth Medvide has long been curious about the ways hope manifests in the lives of marginalized groups, like first-generation immigrants. So she set out to explore how low-income students of color experienced it in their daily lives.
In part, she found, they cultivated hope by seeking support from their parents and specific teachers. But they also got a lot out of meeting or learning about other people who had done well for themselves. “By seeing other people succeed—like maybe a senior, when they were a sophomore—they felt like they could succeed,” says Medvide, an assistant professor of psychology at Suffolk University in Boston. Indeed, research suggests that high levels of hope are associated with academic achievement and career exploration.
That’s something we can all apply to our own lives: Make it a point to read books about or even befriend people who have overcome adversity to achieve their goals, and you’ll likely feel more hopeful about your own future, Medvide says.
6. Tap into your imagination
Hellman thinks of imagination as “the instrument of hope.” Let’s say you set a goal for the week, like applying for five jobs, helping your kid adjust to preschool, or volunteering for two hours. Spend a few minutes reflecting on or talking about what would happen if you achieved it. “How does it impact you, or how would it benefit others, and who are those other people?” he says. “You and I have this wonderful capacity to play a movie in our head. And when you can see yourself in the future, that is the very essence of hope.”
So. . .
If hope were money
how much would you have right now
and how much would you be willing to give
to be a true HOPE DISPENSER. . . ?
A LITTLE LISTENING–A LOT OF GOOD
Just a little listening does a lot of good
is more than a nice sentiment
and can be even better than we might be able imagine
IF WE ARE WILLING TO DO MORE OF IT. .
Where to Seek Help if the
Israel-Hamas War
Is Impacting Your Mental Health
If you feel as though your mental health has been impacted by news of the ongoing conflict, help is available.Getty Images / Stock Photo
The World is literally
S C R E A M I N G
right now, but it also is giving us some resources that lets us know
the SHOUTS
are heard. . .
Time Magazine’s Mallory Moench shares with us some of these assurances that the screams and shouts are more than just noises to be heard or worse, ignored.
Since the Israel-Hamas War ignited on Oct. 7, it feels as though we’ve been bombarded online with graphic information and imagery of the horrors unfolding in the Middle East.
The war has flooded news and social media, in some cases, sowing political division. The trauma is heightened for those directly affected by the conflict, but anyone can be impacted and experience vicarious trauma. In the past couple of days, the BBC acknowledged the toll the war is taking on its staff and has offered more mental health support.
If you feel as though your mental health has been negatively impacted by the ongoing conflict, here’s who you can contact for help.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
SAMHSA runs a Disaster Distress Helpline that is toll-free, multilingual and available 24/7 to all residents in the U.S. and its territories who are experiencing emotional distress related to natural or human-caused disasters. This includes survivors of disasters, loved ones of victims, first responders, rescue, recovery, and relief workers, clergy, parents and caregivers calling on behalf of themselves or someone else.
Each Disaster Distress Helpline Core Region Center has crisis counselors who are trained to listen and offer support to people in emotional crisis, the agency says.
You can speak with a counselor immediately by calling or texting 1-800-985-5990. For deaf and hard of hearing callers, you can call the same number from a videophone or access a video conference call online by following this link from the government website.
If you’re looking to receive mental health treatment or therapy, call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 or TTY: 1-800-487-4889. The confidential, free, 24/7 information service in English and Spanish for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups and community-based organizations.
You can also visit SAMHSA’s online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message to 435748 to find help near you.
Crisis Text Line
Crisis Text Line is a global nonprofit organization that provides text access to a crisis counselor. It is staffed by volunteers who undergo a multi-stage application process, background check and training program, and then are supervised by staff with master’s degrees in a relevant field or commensurate crisis intervention experience, the organization says. The service is available in the U.S., U.K., Canada and Ireland.
If you’re in the U.S., text HOME to 741741 to chat with a crisis counselor, use Whatsapp or message online.
In Canada, text CONNECT to 686868. The line is jointly run with Kids Help Phone.
From the U.K. text SHOUT to 85258. Shout is an affiliate of Crisis Text Line in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.
For Ireland, text HOME to 50808.
Find A Helpline HOW ARE YOU DOING?
No matter where you are in the world, use this search engine to find a mental health helpline by country, region and/or topic. Mental healthcare company ThroughLine, which has partnered with Google, verifies and publishes the online tool.
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
In the U.S., you can contact NAMI’s HelpLine to communicate with a volunteer. Connect by phone 1-800-950-6264 or text “HelpLine” to 62640, or chat online. It is available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.
NAMI also publishes a resource directory where you find help online and in-person help by topic and runs local chapters where you can attend support groups in person.
Find mental health therapy online or in-person
If you’re in the U.S. and looking for more personalized and ongoing mental health therapy, it can be difficult to find or afford a therapist, especially if you don’t have health insurance.
The American Psychiatric Association runs a database where you can search for a psychiatrist near you. The American Psychological Association refers to its state chapters where you can find therapists by location, including in some states finding those working pro bono or on a sliding scale. If you don’t have insurance, the federal government recommends searching for a community health center near you that might offer free or low-cost mental healthcare.
Nonprofit nationwide network Open Path Psychotherapy Collective is another option that offers therapy at a reduced cost for people who are uninsured or underinsured. Pay a lifetime membership fee of $65, then schedule with a therapist for $40 to $70 a session, with $30 student intern sessions available. You can join the network and find a therapist online.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
. . .such an easy, simple question, yet how significant if you ask it and really listen, maybe even dig, and mostly w a i t for an answer
A N D
in some of the listening over these past 18 or so days, I’ve been hearing this one question:
WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP
the short and significant answer:
HELP SOMEONE ELSE
ANYONE ELSE
make a call
send a text
hold a hand
lend an ear
hold a door
give a gift
and yes. . .
Read More: How to Help Victims of the Israel-Hamas War
A DOING SOMETING
is more than NOTHING
that can mean an EVERYTHING
d a r e
to
p r o v e
i t. . .
S H O W
that by reaching out
you’re
TOUCHING
A WITHIN-NESS
that’s worth
c o n n e c t i n g
R I S E UP
M U S I C
sometimes says what needs to be felt
that can’t be experienced in any other way
. . .just like this song,
RISE UP
by Audra Day
One of the truest of truths is a lesson that this beautiful season teaches us:
WE ALL FALL DOWN
But we also know
that each of us hold’s a
L I G H T
but it’s severely questionable
of what we’re doing with it. . .
Maybe when we realize
(maybe, really for the first real time)
that your pain
is my pain
and my pain
is your pain
we can literally lift
each’s other
and
R I S E
UP
(but will you?)
H I N E N I
It’s been a whirlwind all over the world in these past two weeks and it has the feel of not ending any time soon, and worse, ending well. . .
I’ve heard a lot of words over this time and I’ve said a lot of words and there’s one word that came to me when I was looking to hear it or say it but now feel the need to share it:
H I N E N I
It’s a Hebrew word that means:
HERE I AM
But here’s the thing about words, or in this case
A WORD. . .
They don’t mean anything
Said or Heard
until they are experienced
until they are Living Verbs. . .
I’ve had to ask of myself:
JUST HOW AM I SHOWING UP
(and how often?)
I’m wondering (and now hoping you’ll be a little wondering, too) how am I saying, being HINENI to my family, my friends, my town, my state, my country, my world? How am I saying HINENI in a way that shows others how much they matter and that I am here? How am I answering THIS call?
It feels like we have lots of questions a few answers or is it really just this simple:
Why is the seemingly simple so complicated if not for my lack of
HINENI
Now
is so much more than saying a Word
or even hearing one
Looking at an inspiring picture
Gawking at a-should-never-be-seen-horrific-scene
We are way past AGREEING with this one
and DISAGREEING with that one
N O W
in our own individual way
with our own individual skills
It’s time to be an authentic, living
H I N E N I
and to be it profoundly
to Each’s
O T H E R
R E S O U R C E S
OH HOW WE ARE REACHING OUT THESE DAYS. . .
Reaching out to know
Reaching out to understand
Reaching out to receive
Reaching out to give
R E A C H I N G
And so this is one Caring Catalyst reaching out to other Caring Catalysts who are reaching to others just trying to make sense of everything that’s happened a little over this past week in Israel; with the big question:
WHO DO YOU TRUST
with the information you’re getting or dare, sharing. . . ?
I’ve always trusted the reputable sources of Greater Good Resources
and so directly from them
to me
I’m sharing the following
as I continue to send warm, healing thoughts to all
who read
who share
who join me in bringing
P E A C E
even if but one person at a time
Here are some gathered articles that explore the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; offer resources for well-being and activism; and remind us of human goodness by the Greater Good Editors:
Here at the Greater Good Science Center, the war between Israel and Hamas is provoking a range of emotions: sadness, anger, fear, and more. We’re reading the news every day and wishing that there were more we could do to help.
As an educational nonprofit, the best we can do, perhaps, is to remind ourselves and our readers that peace is always possible, the vast majority of people resist killing, even the most violent primates are capable of change, there are steps we can all take to bridge our differences, and activism can make the world a better place. We’ve gathered articles below to help you understand the roots of peace, war, and reconciliation; get involved in activism; and support your well-being and your children’s—including reminders of human goodness in times of conflict.
If you’d like to find a more direct way to support the people of Israel and Gaza, here is an excellent list of organizations addressing the human crises that war creates. We hope you’ll consider making a donation to one of them.
Click to jump to a section:
Promoting peace and reconciliation
Reminders of human goodness
Political apology and forgiveness
Resources for well-being and activism
Resources for children’s well-being
Promoting peace and reconciliation
- What Can We Learn From the World’s Most Peaceful Societies?: A multidisciplinary team of researchers is discovering what makes some societies more peaceful than others.
- In a Divided World, We Need to Choose Empathy: It’s gotten harder to empathize; that’s why it’s so important we work at it. Luckily, we can.
- Eight Keys to Bridging Our Differences: There are many misconceptions about bridging differences, so we consulted with researchers and practitioners to clarify what it is—and what it isn’t.
- How War Shapes Our Attitudes About Violence: New studies are discovering that exposure to war can make violence more acceptable among civilians—but there might be ways to break the cycle.
- How to Resist Manipulation by Embracing All Your Identities: Learning to celebrate complex identities in ourselves and others could help make the world a better place.
- How Can We Make Politics Less Hostile?: A new study finds that when we practice intellectual humility, we have less animosity toward the “other side” of political debates.
- Can Contact Reduce Prejudice Even When You’re in Conflict?: A new study suggests that even when discrimination and fear of “the other” is rampant, contact between diverse groups can still reduce prejudice.
- How the Growth Mindset Can Increase Cooperation: In a new study, researchers saw Jewish- and Palestinian-Israeli students cooperating better after a simple lesson.
- What Makes a Good Interaction Between Divided Groups?: Intergroup contact can help bridge divides, under certain conditions.
- To Resolve Conflicts, Get Up and Move: Researcher Peter T. Coleman has found an unlikely path to peace: Move your body to help your mind get unstuck.
Reminders of human goodness
- Hope on the Battlefield: Military leaders know a secret: The vast majority of people are overwhelmingly reluctant to take a human life.
- In Search of the Moral Voice: What makes some people display altruism and compassion in the midst of war? Two researchers are trying to find out.
- Courage Under Fire: When the Bosnian civil war broke out, Svetlana Broz searched for the humanity behind the horrific headlines. She found stories of people who risked their lives to help victims of the war—and who inspired others to follow their example.
- Worlds Without War: Ethnographic studies find that not all societies make war. In other words, war is not intrinsic to humankind.
- Beyond Sex and Violence: Contrary to the typical view, violence is something humans resort to out of fear—or try to avoid altogether.
- Peace Among Primates: Anyone who says peace is not part of human nature knows too little about primates, including ourselves.
- Why Is There Peace?: Violence is declining, argues psychologist Steven Pinker. What are we doing right?
Political apology and forgiveness
- The Forgiveness Instinct: To understand the human potential for peace, we have to learn three simple truths about forgiveness and revenge.
- How Should a Group Apologize to People They Harmed?: A new study investigates which components of an apology foster forgiveness and reconciliation between groups.
- The Greatest Test: Forgiveness improves health and strengthens relationships. But can it help heal the scars of civil war?
- Making Peace Through Apology: Some apologies encourage forgiveness and reconciliation between groups and nations; others only make things worse. Here’s how to tell the difference.
- What Makes a Political Apology Seem Sincere?: When is a political apology likely to be well-received? A new study explores the contributing factors.
- Six Ways to Deal With Someone Who Wronged You: Here’s what we have learned from 25 years of research about forgiveness—and its alternatives.
Resources for well-being and activism
- Six Tips to Avoid Being Overwhelmed by the News: Here’s how to cope when all the negative news is triggering you.
- Is Love Better Than Anger for Social Change?: We can learn from the fly fishing industry, which shifted toward conservation thanks to decades of messaging about caring for nature.
- Need a Hero? Look Around You: We love to exalt heroic individuals. But in this historical moment, collective heroism is best suited to the challenges we face.
- How to Sustain Your Activism: These three principles can help activists avoid burnout and continue working toward a better world.
- One Way to Improve Teen Mental Health: Activism: A new study finds that teens involved in youth programs develop more critical reflection and take more action to fight injustice and inequality.
- How to Renew Your Compassion in the Face of Suffering: Mass suffering can make us feel helpless. Focusing on solutions, rather than emotions, may be the way out.
- How to Deepen Our Compassion for Refugees: When we face large numbers of people in need, we almost instinctively pull back. By questioning this reaction, we can make space for a more empathic response.
Resources for children’s well-being
- Nine Tips for Talking to Kids about Trauma: In the midst of tragedy, kids will have questions. How do we respond?
- How to Talk With Kids About Scary News: Researcher Abigail Gewirtz explains how parents can have conversations with kids about global conflict and humanitarian crises.
- Five Ways to Support Students Affected by Trauma: Teachers can help students recognize their strengths and build resilience.
- Can Parents Teach Peace?: A recent study suggests they can, at least some of the time.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .
Just how good can a candle be if it has no
R E F L E C A B I L I T Y
We are not called to obliterate the World’s darkness. . .
just to glow where we are
and share our flicker
to yet another willing wick. . .
I hope this Helps
THE HELPERS
THE UNSPEAKABLE
I WON’T APOLOGIZE. . .
Usually on my Wednesday blog post I like posting an educational piece that helps us to be more caring, more loving, more forgiving, more accepting, more of, well a Caring Catalyst. . .
AND THEN. . .
the World comes in and becomes the worst version of itself and, well, maybe the most Catalyst thing that can happen here is to find some common ground that is literally shaking and ablaze.
I’ve read all of Rabbi Steve Leder’s books and re-read two of them twice, maybe now a third time after the events of these past few days in Israel. In fact, I went to his Facebook page; not the first time, but now, the right time to share what he has to share for us all right now:
An important reminder for absolutely everyone: it’s okay to not feel okay right now. It’s okay to feel sad, to feel like you need help, to feel like you need time alone, to feel like you need a hug. This is not normal. None of this is normal. We are seeing extreme hatred, and we are witnessing horrific acts of violence and murder perpetrated by terrorists. Many of you are feeling alone, let down, disappointed, and angry. And that’s okay. Feel your feelings. But keep using your voice. Keep shouting the message of support for Israel. Keep standing up to Jew Hatred at all costs. We need you, and Israel needs you, but you must take care of yourself too! 🇮🇱💙 #standwithisrael
I direct messaged Steve (again, not the first time) to not only tell him how much I appreciated his words FOR ALL OF US right now, but also to let me know, to thank him for once again putting a Voice to the Unspeakable and most of all, for the Voiceless. . . and then ultimately to share the following most directly from him to us:
There are a lot of mistruths right now about what is happening in Israel, but it is imperative to get educated, to learn the facts, and stand up to the myths that are circulating. These are not opinions, these are facts! Once again, share them, amplify them, spread them wide. 🇮🇱 #standwithisrael
This is not a usual Caring Catalyst Educational Wednesday Blog Post
I’m not sorry for not only not keeping to ‘The Standard’ but also to unabashedly inviting you to join me in not standing by silently when our Voices need now, right now, need to be THE VOICE that knows no harmony of discord. . .
JOIN ME
It’s time to be more of a
F L A M E
than a
f l i c k e r
Let’s be living proof that we are stronger than a Village;
we are Continents of Care
IT’S ALL IN (OR OUT OF) MY MIND
So. . .IS IT ALL IN YOUR HEAD
or just out of your mind?
(. . .think about it. . .)
The Surprising Ways Your Mind Influences Your Health. . .
A new book argues that we can harness the connection between our minds and our physiology for better health
. . .BUT IS IT A BOOK WE WOULD READ
OR APPLY. . . ?
Well, thankfully, Jill Suite from Greater Good Magazine did read the book and helped break it down for us.
In 1979, Harvard researcher Ellen Langer invited elderly men to spend a week at a retreat designed to remind them of their younger days, surrounded by the art, music, food, games, décor, and more from the late 1950s. Afterward, the men were tested and found to have made significant gains in hearing, memory, dexterity, posture, and general well-being. It was as if being in a place signaling their younger days made them physiologically “younger.”
Maybe you, too, have had an experience where your mind seemed to affect your health. It turns out there’s a reason for that, according to Langer, author of the new book The Mindful Body. Your mind is not separate from your physiology, and changing your mindset in various ways can lead to a happier, healthier life.
Though her book is called The Mindful Body, it’s not a book promoting mindfulness meditation, per se. Instead, it’s an argument against mindlessly accepting that our health and cognition will invariably decline, especially as we age, and the importance of letting go of limiting beliefs that keep us from being our most vital selves.
“I believe the mind and body comprise a single system, and every change in the human being is essentially simultaneously a change at the level of the mind (that is, cognitive change) as well as the body (a hormonal, neural, and/or behavioral change),” she writes. “When we open our minds to this idea of mind-body unity, new possibilities for controlling our health become real.”
How your mind influences your body
Langer recounts dozens (if not hundreds) of studies in her book illustrating how our mindset affects our physiology. For example, in one study, nursing home residents who were encouraged to take responsibility for simple decisions or care for a plant were twice as likely to be alive 18 months later. In another, housekeepers lost more weight, had lower blood pressure, and had lower body mass indices when they were prompted to consider their work as comparable to exercising in a gym, compared to other housekeepers given general health information but doing the same work. In still another, giving people information about their (fictitious) level of risk for obesity affected their metabolism and how they felt about exercise and hunger (regardless of their actual level of risk).
In one mind-blowing study, Langer had people with type 2 diabetes play video games while checking a clock every 15 minutes. Unbeknownst to the participants, some clocks ran on time, while others ran either twice as fast or twice as slow. Based on blood readings, those whose clocks ran faster (who believed more time had passed) had lower blood sugar levels than any other participants—meaning, they were using up energy faster than people in groups with slower clocks. The participants’ perception of time affected their energy consumption more than the actual time that had passed!
Despite these kinds of findings, the effects of our minds on our bodies are often called a “placebo effect” in research and dismissed as irrelevant, says Langer. In fact, she argues, many studies find that a placebo is as effective or outperforms a drug, but those studies are rarely published. This makes it hard to understand and harness a placebo’s potential for healing.
“What we should be learning from these studies is not that a particular drug is ineffective but rather how effective the placebo may have been,” she writes.
In one review of research, for example, researchers concluded that anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication were no more effective than placebos. But why were the placebos effective? No one really knows, though it could be due to expectations of getting better rather than any effects from the drugs themselves. As evidence for the power of suggestion, Langer and her colleagues have found that you can improve your vision—seemingly an intractable condition—when you’re told it’s possible to do so with practice.
In other words, expectations matter.
How to harness the power of your mind
What all this means for our lives is a bit tricky, as Langer isn’t suggesting we abandon all medical research and start healing ourselves with our minds alone. Nor is she suggesting we put everyone in an artificial living environment to pretend that we are young again, or that we are in total control of our health. But she does think we can use the power of our minds to change our health and well-being in ways that are mostly untapped.
How can you use your mind to help yourself? To start, she suggests adhering to a few basic principles:
1. Question authority—meaning, don’t follow all recommendations just because an expert tells you to. Life is uncertain, and we are individuals, with our own unique makeup. So, for example, if your doctor tells you that being one point above the threshold for “high cholesterol” requires a complete change of diet or medication, you might question that before complying. After all, there is little real difference between someone one point above versus one point below the threshold, and that reading may change one day to the next.
2. Recognize that what counts as “risky” is different from person to person. One person’s risk is another’s reasonable plan of action, making sense to them in the moment (based on their self-knowledge and available resources). Behavior can’t be judged in a vacuum. So, for example, backcountry skiing may seem risky to you and not worth doing, but it could be great fun and adventurous for someone else.
3. Approach predictions with skepticism. The future is never completely knowable. If things are looking bad, you shouldn’t assume you’re on a trajectory that will only get worse. In fact, many dire predictions turn out to be wrong or are later disproven. For example, not all people with pre-cancer go on to get cancer, nor is surgery or chemotherapy always necessary. In fact, some chemotherapy treatments once commonly used have been discontinued because they do more harm than good.
4. Understand how our choices are never completely “right” or “wrong.” You should focus less on regretting “bad decisions” and more on how to make your choices, whatever they are, work out for you. Look for the positive. For example, if you move to a new city and don’t love it right away, you shouldn’t regret your decision to move. Instead, you can focus on what the new city offers—maybe new forms of entertainment, different people to meet and befriend, or closer public parks to enjoy.
5. Avoid social comparisons or ranking yourself. This is never good for our health or happiness. Instead of chasing achievement relative to others, focus on finding meaning in what you’re already doing—whatever it is. For example, caretaking the elderly can be boring or stressful, and is often poorly compensated. But when you do it out of love or a sense of providing dignity to others, it can feel more rewarding.
As Langer notes, “When we make these shifts in our thinking, our relationships with others and ourselves improve, and our stress lessens, all in the service of improving our health.”
Be mindful of how everything changes
Langer also cautions us to be more mindful of our everyday experiences. She doesn’t mean meditate more—she wants us to notice variations in our state of being. If we pay attention to how our pain, energy levels, poor mood, or other symptoms of illness are changing over time, moment to moment, we can break out of rigid, fixed beliefs that we are sick or damaged and notice the moments when we feel happy, healthy, or pain-free.
“Paying attention to variability helps us see that symptoms come and go, which helps us home in on the situations and circumstances that might contribute to these fluctuations so that we might exert some control over them,” she writes. For example, if you pay mindful attention to variances in knee pain during the day, you may notice that you feel better after a walk and make a plan to take more walks.
In the book, she presents several studies where people with various ailments were trained to notice more variability in their symptoms—when they felt better or worse over time—and had better outcomes as a result. For example, studies have found that mindful attention to variability has helped people control their own heart rate, helped ALS patients experience less pain and physical impairment, and helped expectant mothers enjoy greater well-being—as well as better outcomes for their newborns.
Perhaps Langer’s most provocative advice is reserved for doctors and others who treat illness, mental or physical. When delivering news to patients, she writes, practitioners would do well to present diagnoses and prognoses in tentative ways, allowing for the possibility of being wrong and for more optimistic outlooks. By doing so, she says, practitioners could help patients hold loosely the labels that make them see themselves in fixed ways and become, instead, more mindful, active participants in their own health care.
“When health professionals mindlessly assume every symptom is part of the disease they’ve diagnosed or are treating, they give up the possibility to potentially influence the course of a patient’s illness,” she writes. “Diagnoses, while useful, direct attention to only a fraction of lived experience; context influences our physical responses.”
To that end, Langer hopes that all of us can hold certainty more lightly, not accept dire prognoses without question, pay more attention to how our experiences change over time, and be open to using the power of our minds to help ourselves enjoy life more.
“Once we recognize that mindless decisions from the past are limiting us, there is little stopping us from redesigning the world to better fit our current needs rather than using yesterday to determine today and tomorrow,” she writes.
WHEN YOUR PLANTED FEET SOAR
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