The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

NEED A SILENT NIGHT?

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There are some things that are just
T         I         M         E         L         E         S         S
.            .          .so this song by Amy Grant may be some 15 years old but every year around this time we could all use the beauty and the true sacredness of
S I L E N C E
even if it’s just a little over some three minutes
GO AHEAD
play it again
take another 3 minutes and 59 seconds
because it’s very likely
no one will give it to you.            .          .
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
we need a Silent night or at least a few
SILENT MOMENTS

CONNECTIONS

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Ever feel utterly DISCONNECTED.            .              .            ?
This time of the year will do that to you
WILL
give you the opposite of that
GINGERBREAD FEELING.          .         .
Because not all the lights on the tree
are lit
or worse.        .      .NOT SEEN.         .         .
D I S C O N N E C T E D

Ernest Hemingway once said: In our darkest moments, we don’t need solutions or advice. What we yearn for is simply human connection—a quiet presence, a gentle touch. These small gestures are the anchors that hold us steady when life feels like too much.

So over these next few weeks and into the new year, please don’t try to fix Someone, no matter how good it will make you feel (AND IT WILL). Don’t take on Someone’s pain or push away their shadows, even if it feels so obviously easy for you to do.  Just sit beside Someone as they work through their own inner storms. Be the steady hand they can reach for as I find their seemingly impossible way.

Their pain is their’s to carry, Their battles, Their’s to face. But your presence reminds Their Their-est Them’s, They are  not alone in this vast, sometimes frightening world. It’s a quiet reminder that They are worthy of love, even when They feel broken and the unworthiest of unworthy.      .       .

So, in those dark hours when A Way seems lost or not an impossible dream, just be there? Not as a rescuer, but as a companion. Hold a hand until the dawn arrives, helping Them remember Their strength as seemingly as powerless and weak as it may feel.          .          .

Your silent support is the most precious gift you can give. It’s a love that helps Someone remember who They are, even when, especially when They have forgotten.          .          .

BE THE CONNECTION 
that eliminates 
D  I  S  C  O  N  N  E  C  T  I  O  N

And remember.                 .                  .
The very definition of RELATIONSHIP may just be
BEING FOR ANOTHER WHAT THEY COULD NEVER BE FOR THEMSELVES.          .          .

JUST A MOMENT: YOUR VILLAGE

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Honestly, our Village probably isn’t as perfect as we want it to be, not even when we are the creators of it all.  It may look nice from the outside. It may even run what seems to be very efficiently, but you see, the thing that makes our village, OUR VILLAGE, is that it’s not always quite the way we really want it to be.            .            .Even with the best of our imaginations.

But there is a good part: We are creators and an even better part: When we invite others in our village they are creators as well; Creators of not just what could be or what should be or what we hope or imagine, but what actually is and even when things don’t seem to run OK or alright, and literally, it seems like things have come off the tracks.  And yet, even then, there’s always still something that is bright and shiny and going on.

I have a question:  Just what kind of village have you created and who have you invited inside to be co-creator with you?

The answer may well be the difference of
KEEPING YOU ON THE TRACKS
OR.            .            .

ALL MY LOVE

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WAIT.          WHAT.         .          .
THIS ISN’T A CHRISTMAS VIDEO FOR A SEASONAL MONDAY MORNING BLOG

OR.          .          .IS IT.            .            .
THERE ARE SOME VIDEOS THAT ARE BEYOND SEASONAL AND THAT ARE SO EVERYDAY NEEDED THEY MAKE THE SEASON OF CHRISTMAS FEEL LIKE A MUST NEED EVERY DAY EXPERIENCE.  WHAT A GREAT JOB  THAT CHRIS MARTIN OF COLDPLAY DID WITH DICK VAN DYKE WHO WILL BE 99 THIS WEDNESDAY, PROVING AGAIN, THAT SOME THINGS ARE, WELL.     .    .AGELESS

AND THEN, IT IS WINTER

Time moves swiftly, often catching us unaware of how quickly the years pass.

It feels like just yesterday I was young—just married, stepping into life with endless dreams. But now, I find myself in the winter of my life, wondering how it all happened so fast. Where did the years go? Where did my youth go?

I remember watching older people, thinking they were so far ahead of me, their “winter” a distant concept I couldn’t truly grasp. Yet here I am. My friends are retired, their hair greying, their steps slower. I see those changes in myself too. We’ve become the “older folks” we once looked at with youthful eyes, never imagining we’d be here so soon.

These days, small tasks like taking a shower feel like major accomplishments. Naps are no longer indulgences—they’re necessities. If I skip them, sleep finds me anyway, wherever I happen to be.

This season of life brings its own challenges: the aches, the loss of strength, and the realization of dreams left undone. Yet, I know this isn’t the end. When winter here is over, another adventure awaits beyond this life.

Yes, there are regrets—things I wish I’d done differently—but there’s also joy in the memories of the life I’ve lived. It’s all part of the journey.

If you haven’t reached your winter yet, let me offer this advice: It arrives faster than you think. Don’t wait too long to do the things you dream of. Life passes quickly. Say what you want to say, do what you want to do, and let the people you love know how much they mean to you.

“Life” is a gift, and the way you live it becomes your gift to those who come after you. Make it a beautiful one.

LIVE WELL. LOVE MUCH. LAUGH OFTEN.
Enjoy each day to its fullest, because today is the oldest you’ve ever been, yet the youngest you’ll ever be.

Some reflections on this stage of life:

Your kids are becoming you.

Going out is fun, but coming home is even better.

You forget names—but it’s fine, because others forget they ever knew you!

The things you once cared about no longer matter, and you care more about not caring.

You sleep better in a chair with the TV blaring than in bed.

You miss the simplicity of an “ON” and “OFF” switch.

Everything in stores seems to be sleeveless now.

Freckles have turned into liver spots.

Everyone whispers.

Your closet holds three sizes of clothes—two of which you’ll never wear again.

But aging has its blessings: old songs, old movies, and most importantly, old friends.

Stay well, my old friend. Life isn’t about what you gather, but what you scatter. It’s about the love, kindness, and laughter you share.

Live happy. Scatter joy. Embrace today. Give ALL of you Love

 

YES, PLEASE and THANK YOU

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T            H            I             S
is a picture that needs no caption
especially TIME of the year
when our already hectic lives go in to
C         H         A         O           S
m o d e
CRAZY ON STEROIDS.             .              .
where calm feels like just a word
but not a feeling
or another WAY.       .      .
which is why I dug deep into my files
and with the help of the
GREATER GOOD Editors
have provided some much needed
r e s p i t e
(IF YOU’LL TAKE IT TO HAVE IT)

Good Resources for Thriving Over the Holidays

Here are some articles that explore holiday stress management, managing conflict, picking gifts, making resolutions, and more.          .         .

The holidays can be rough—really rough at times; so here are literally dozens of articles and that try to help readers navigate the issues that arise when far-flung family members gather, everyone expects a present, and they all have an opinion. There are also some collected articles on making sense of this quickly-almost-gone-previous year and looking ahead to the new one. However you celebrate or are celebrated, here’s wishing you some severely-well-deserved-happy holidays!

Click to jump to a section:

Holiday stress management
New ways to think about gifting and celebration
The psychology of generosity and gratitude
Raising generous, grateful kids
Looking ahead to the new year

Holiday stress management

New ways to think about gifting and celebration

The psychology of generosity and gratitude

Raising generous, grateful kids

Looking ahead to the new year

It’s enough to just not get your wires crossed but to literally,
BLOW A CIRCUIT.            .          .
and here’s the biggest kicker of all,
it’s not that we don’t have the
R E S O U R C E S
of countless
WHAT TO DO’S
(uhhhhhhhhhhhh did you see how long this blog post is, already)
so much as utilizing them
plugging some of them in
and unplugging a few others
B                           U                          T
will you.          .         .

It just may be all of the difference between a really good or a really bad
h    o    l    i    d    a    y
(AND YOU GET TO CHOOSE.  .  .or let it CHOOSE FOR YOU)

IN JUST A MOMENT: LET GRIEF BLINK

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It wasn’t in the Christmas Carol when Dickens wrote, “It was the best of times and it was the worst at times,” but maybe it really should’ve been.       .       . I mean, isn’t that really what the holidays bring us?  Our lights don’t always twinkle and certainly our tinsel doesn’t always sparkle, and yet, this season isn’t what we usually find but what finds us, ready or not.  Most often when we grieve, it’s not with all the capital letters it deeply feels like.

So what are we to do this season or any Season and all of the little SEASONS in-because?  Grief is always in the season; it’s not a date on the calendar or a particular time of the year.  It’s not something that we attend or attend to so much as what it does to us and it’s not always a person that we grieve.          .          . Sometimes it’s what we don’t have or what we could’ve had or what we will seemingly never have.     .     .

I don’t know if your lights are twinkling like they always have in the past, but if they aren’t, please be kind with yourself and embrace it; let others put their arms around that which hurts most in you.      .      .


And please don’t be afraid to embrace the Hurt in Another.       .       .

That’s not just surviving a season. It’s thriving in it
B     L         i        n             K     i           N         g
lights or not.

THE SANCTUARY

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This holiday season, remember none of us can get where we want to go without the support of another. Especially from those we cherished most. Watch as a father and son come together on the bench of their family’s 1978 Chevy Silverado C10 to look back on their shared past and how it continues to drive them forward.          .          .

I know, I know, Halloween has passed us and now Thanksgiving has already been a few blinks away from us as well, so we’re full throttle into Christmas and everything that it promises and brings.        .       .but we’re even more full throttle into who it is and what it is that Christmas brings out in us.

I mean, the very YOU-EST of YOU  is never to be ignored or have people talk you out of who it is you really are.       .      .

Well, we know that’s the opposite of the gift of who you are and always ever becoming.    .    .BE that kind of Christmas and Christmas truly will last all year long and not just a few days after Thanksgiving, and even less a few days before New Year’s and all the days after.        .       .

NOT JUST ANOTHER DAY AFTER

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One of my favorite memories for years on end was one that I was never a part of.

It was always the day after Thanksgiving and very early after coffee and nut roll and a light breakfast, my sister, my mother, my grandmother, and sometimes my aunt would all venture either downtown, or in very later years, to the mall to do what to shop fericiously, even before there was a Black Friday.

And shop they did; they invented the phrase SHOP TILL YOU DROP, and they literally would come home exhausted with packages upon packages, most of them not wrapped because that was another venture, too. They would come home to what hungry people, mostly the kids and the guys who didn’t go shopping all day but sat around and watched football and waited and waited and waited for the girls to come home so that they could scarf down the reheated Thanksgiving dinner that we had the night before.  It was the same dinner and yet, somehow, it tasted better if that’s possible; maybe the tired but happy hands that prepared it was just the PINCH of that little something, something that made it taste better; no matter, it was delicious, even in memory form these 55-60 years later.

Why did it always taste better then?  Why would a memory like this bring so much peace when I wasn’t even a part of it?  But what I was a part of, the very fact of that feeling that it brought me when I can still hear the crunch of the gravel knowing that they were home safely and what was about the follow was another great meal even better family time and sometimes a game of trivia pursuit.  It defined fun in a way a dictionary never has been able to capture.  It brought peace in a way that nice ocean waves or a calm lake or a babbling. brook never could interpret.  And what it brought most of the time couldn’t be defined, or couldn’t be explained and even now barely understood, even all of these years later.  But the thought of it, the memory in my crevices, I can experience it all over again even taste it, so much so, there’s nothing that can be opened out of a can or brought out of a refrigerator or re-heated that equals it.

That was Thanksgiving in a way that didn’t just last a day or a weekend but continued throughout the season because we all knew what was going to follow: More shopping, the baking of cookies and yes, Christmas and better still the week between Christmas and New Year’s. It was a Wonderland that to this day transforms me to a WANDERLAND, one that you never wanted to wander away from. Even now I wander back into that amazing Wonder, not wanting to leave thinking, knowing nothing can ever compare or replace it.

So you see it’s not just a day after, it’s an everlasting day that was, that is, and thankfully right now, as long as my memory holds out, will always be.          .          .

As much as you JUST

celebrated THANKSGIVING

.         .          .and even though your Stomach might still be full,

I hope your heart is EMPTY enough to

truly continue this Season of

T     H     A     N     K     S
G           E          T          T          I          N          G

.          .          .may it be way better than you have planned

or    i m a g i n e d
(as you WANDER through your WONDER of yesteryears)

YOUR THANKSGIVING TABLE

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In this special Thanksgiving of The Caring Catalyst Blog,  my invitation is to have you go and be the reason another can be thankful, because the best table to ever be around isn’t the one with endless food; it’s the one with ongoing and everlasting sustenance that satisfies every hunger, quenches every thirst, binds up every wound, and makes every heart less lonely as it welcomes, always welcomes and never disappoints.
THIS will be the mysterious blessing of:
AS YOU FEED SO SHALL YOU BE FED
and full, ever full will your Soul be.          .          .          .

Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
Even if you don’t like what folks
bring to the
T A B L E.    .    .
NEVER LET THEM EAT ALONE

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

JUST A MOMENT: A REASON, NOT AN EXCUSE

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I know, I know, there’s all kinds of explanations to be thankful on Thanksgiving and really, every day.   We should be keeping a GRATITUDE JOURNAL and even if we don’t blog or social media it out, flip back and refer to it, OFTEN; but sometimes it’s just not there and we’re just not feeling it (which is a perfect time to flip back through our gratitudes) and whenever we’re in the “I’m not feeling” phase, we come up with an excuse to be grateful.        .       .

Maybe in just a moment.          .          . we find, instead of a excuse to be grateful, we really uncover a reason, and sometimes, as we well know,  a reason comes disguised as a hardship: Why would we be grateful for an illness or for a death, or something really bad that happens to us, or an unanswered prayer and unmet expectation. Why?

Because sometimes we are most grateful for not what we receive, but what we are enabled and encouraged and championed to be for Another person.  So maybe the best thing that we could celebrate about Thanksgiving or any day is to be the reason Somebody else is grateful and truly thankful.            .            .

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man