I want to live in a World
where it’s
C H R I S T M A S
m o s t
WHEN IT ISN’T
where
PEACE ON EARTH
isn’t a dream
where
GOODWILL
is standard
where
PRESENTS
aren’t so much given
as GIVEN
where
my Best
becomes your BETTER
where
words don’t describe
but our ACTIONS do
where
SILENT NIGHT
shouts
what a heart beats
and a mouth can’t begin to whisper
where
______________
we fill in all of the blanks
where
a forever
is lived in a moment
that needs no years
or eternity
where
(oh where)
it all begins in me
but quickly
spreads infectiously to
o t h e r s
(continuously)
GIFTING
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
THE SEASON OF GIVING
(is never out of season)
Christmas is all about
J O Y . .
The Joy of being with friends and family,
The Joy of getting out there and connecting with each other,
The Joy of giving that perfect gift.
With thousands of gifts to choose from,
you’re guaranteed to bring what can never be
Wrapped up
Amazon Primed
Ordered
Hidden under a Tree
To your loved ones this Christmas. . .
This film tells the story of
J O Y
a seasonal word
that gives year long
f l a v o r
and her bottomless bag of gifts,
fitting for every occasion
revealing the everlasting truth
THE SOUND OF A RING
Put this under the
TOO FREAKING PRESH
File:
The other day as I was leaving a patient’s house
the husband was walking me out the front door
and he showed me his wedding ring.
“We’ve taken our wedding rings off 639 times…The first of every month celebrating our anniversary. And then we put each others on and say, ‘with this ring I thee wed.’
They’ve been married 53 yrs and 3 months.
DID YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF THE RING
It’s the sound that could never be replicated from
a phone
a bell
a song
a computer generated video. . .
A RING
way too distinct for any of those other
RINGS
but once seen
e x p e r i e n c e d
YOU NEVER FORGET THE SOUND
The tears in his eyes
ran down my cheeks
as I drove away. . .
The Lesson:
HIS LOVE HAS LIFE!
And now. . .
so does mine!
(o u r s)
GIVE ME, GIVE ME, GIVE ME

Thoreau once said,
“IF YOU HAVE BUILT CASTLES IN THE AIR;
YOUR WORK NEED NOT BE LOST;
THAT IS WHERE THEY SHOULD BE.
NOW PUT THE FOUNDATION UNDER THEM.”
GIVE ME, GIVE ME, GIVE ME,
Eyes that see
what they don’t always notice
Ears that hear
what is not always said
A Heart that beats
for someone, something, other than me
Hands that extend
not so much to receive as to give and comfort
Paths that lead
to places I would never choose but need to be
Truths that I’ve refused to consider
Meaning to the seemingly meaninglessness
Food that nourishes
more than just my body
Water that quenches
all thirsts
Breaths that require
no air
Peace that banishes
all war, conflict, unrest
internal, external, eternal
Unconditional love
without hints of the conditionals
Diseases that
lead to healings
Pockets full of change
that are changeless
Time that never has to be traveled
behind or ahead and appreciated for its
eternal Now
Answers to all of the
why’s, what-for’s, how-come’s
Beginnings with no ends
Moments past Forever’s
Prayers that never need
praying only realizing
__________________because there are
endless__________________that’ll be innumerable
GIVE ME, GIVE ME, GIVE ME

EMPATHY, STAT!

QUESTION:
IF WE ALL NEED IT
IF WE ALL WANT IT
IF WE ALL POSSESS IT
WHY
WHY
WHY
is there a shortage of
E M P A T H Y
? ? ?
The World is in need of so very much
right now
and we may well find out
that pandemics
vaccines
boosters
and interventions
come and go
but
e m p a t h y
is still in need
of being
g i v e n
r e c e i v e d

For a More Empathic World,
People Have to Choose Empathy. . .
Can it be
that simple. . . ?
Most people know how to feel others’ pain, But they have to be motivated to do it. . .
ELIZABETH SVOBODA a freelance journalist for GREATER GOO, took a deeper look into this EMPATHY phenomena that hopefully, in just a blog post can help us all be a little bit better Caring Catalyst’s JUST BECAUSE!
In the late 1990s, Najah Bazzy, a nurse in Dearborn, Michigan, made a house call to an Iraqi refugee family to check on their premature baby. When she arrived, she was shocked by how barren their home looked. The family had almost nothing: no stove, no fridge. The adults slept on the carpet. The baby—who’d gone home on a ventilator—was in a laundry basket, wrapped up in a towel.

Viscerally feeling the family’s hardship, Bazzy swung into action. She collected her relatives’ extra appliances and household goods and dropped them off that same day. But the impact of her house call lingered much longer. As Bazzy reflected on the widespread poverty in her city, she promised herself she’d work to spare other families the pain she’d witnessed.
We tend to think about empathy as an automatic response, like a parachute that deploys when we see someone in distress. But a new study suggests that while most of us have the capacity to feel other people’s pain, we are more inclined to exercise that capacity when we have the desire to do so, as Bazzy did.
That means focusing on this desire—our motivation to understand other people’s emotions and perspectives—could be an important way to awaken our own empathy and promote a more empathic society.
The empathy reflex
Empathy sometimes feels as instinctive and immediate as pulling your hand back from a hot stove. “When we see a stroke aimed and just ready to fall on the leg or arm of another person,” philosopher Adam Smith wrote in 1790, “we naturally shrink back our own leg or our own arm.” This can seem like a very primal phenomenon. After all, when a child starts crying, others as young as one or two may join in.
But while empathy can activate in hair-trigger fashion, this activation is by no means guaranteed. Your response to a hungry person crouched on the sidewalk, or to a struggling refugee family, depends on a number of factors: What is your own past history? What does the person in need look like? Who else is with you, and how are they reacting to what they see?
In attempting to help people grow their empathy, past empathy training programs have tended to gloss over such situational factors. Instead, they’ve focused on strengthening people’s emotional acumen by teaching skills like “perspective taking”—training students to see things from someone else’s point of view—or how to pick up on others’ emotions. However, follow-up studies of these programs sometimes show that their impact fades over time.
“The idea that all empathy interventions need to bolster skills is an oversight,” says Harvard University psychologist Erika Weisz. “Most people already have those skills.”
But she’s noticed that people choose not to use them in certain situations. A Boston Red Sox fan might be capable of empathizing with a New York Yankees jersey-wearer, but in the midst of a three-run Red Sox streak, the Bostonian might not feel inclined to share in the New Yorker’s anguish.
In their new study, Weisz and her colleagues focused on instilling empathy by boosting people’s motivation to identify with others. The results were striking: When researchers fueled students’ desire to empathize, the students were more accurate at pinpointing what others were feeling two months later. Some of them also reported making more close friends.
Amping up motivation
Weisz and her team, including Stanford University psychologist Jamil Zaki, recruited college freshmen, who naturally have their antennae perked to the social nuances of their environment. “When students get to campus, they have this huge spike in openness to experience,” Weisz says. “We were in a good position to see how motivation works in the wild.”
The team tested three different ways to increase students’ motivation to empathize with others. In one study, participants read a letter that was allegedly from a freshman having a hard time adjusting to high school. They were then advised to write back and tell the freshman that they could work on building up their empathy—and that doing so would help them connect with their classmates.
This setup encouraged letter-writers to embrace the concept that empathy can be strengthened, Weisz explains. “When we ask a participant to endorse a statement to another person, they tend to endorse those beliefs themselves.” That, in turn, could boost their motivation to brush up on their empathy, because they believe their efforts will pay off.
In another study, the researchers gave students reading material that promoted empathy as a social norm, including testimonials from other students about the importance of empathy in their lives. Participants then wrote letters to high school freshmen that stressed how empathy was normal, promoted, and expected in their community. A third group of students, the “combined” group, took part in an activity that blended elements of the first two exercises, and a control group simply wrote letters addressing students’ academic challenges.
The results supported Weisz’s hunch that ratcheting up people’s motivation would strengthen their empathy. Participants in each study showed higher accuracy when asked to describe what people who spoke in a video were feeling, compared to the control group. These effects were “sticky,” as Weisz puts it, lasting for at least eight weeks after the studies ended.
Members of the combined group also reported making more close friends at college, possibly due to their empathic savvy—something Weisz says may set them up for success later in life. “Having that level of social integration is really important. It predicts all sorts of outcomes for well-being,” she says.
How desire drives empathy
Getting motivated to feel someone’s pain doesn’t necessarily involve thinking to yourself, “My friends understand what this person is feeling, so I’ll try to do so,” or “I can strengthen my own empathy, so I definitely should.” Like other kinds of influence, motivation often operates on an unconscious level, shaping our priorities in profound ways over time.
Bazzy’s life trajectory illustrates how this can work. Her hometown of Dearborn, near Detroit, was rich with refugees from different countries who were always ready to help one another. “Neighbors sat on the front porch and they shared food. Children would go from house to house,” Bazzy told CNN’s Kathleen Toner. “And just the amount of care that people had for each other—this is where I learned to love my neighbor.”
Like the people in Weisz’s study, Bazzy absorbed social norms that put a high value on empathy, motivating her to do the same. Other research suggests that social influences, especially early ones, can seamlessly promote this kind of value structure. In a seminal study of Holocaust rescuers, those who saved people from the Nazis often had compassionate role models within their families, which helped awaken their desire to serve others.
When the time was right, that deep-rooted motivation inspired Bazzy to serve her community on a larger scale. Helping the struggling refugee family and their premature baby reminded Bazzy of just how many people were in similar straits, and in 2004, she formally established a nonprofit called Zaman International to serve families in poverty all over metro Detroit. To date, Zaman has delivered essentials like furniture, food, and job training to over 250,000 people.
How to inspire empathy
Having demonstrated that motivation can influence empathy, Weisz, Zaki, and their colleagues are thinking about how this finding could improve empathy training programs. One of the keys, Weisz says, will be for program designers to take participants’ unique needs and desires into account. An effective workplace empathy course will probably look quite different from one designed for college students; what works will depend on what drives people’s motivations in each case.
If young employees at a startup are anxious to please their bosses, those bosses could focus on sending the clear message—through actions as well as words—that they value empathy in the workers they oversee. If a group of doctors pride themselves on being the best at what they do, facilitators could point out that patients with empathic doctors have better health, which reflects well on the doctors. And because middle schoolers are so attuned to their friends’ choices, Weisz has experimented with showing seventh-graders videos of their peers talking about the benefits of empathy.
“This approach holds promise to complement skill-building and create a menu of empathy-enhancing options that are tailored to people’s needs,” says Zaki.
Weisz’s study results also lend insight into how we can motivate our own empathy in various contexts, from volunteering to rescuing someone in dire straits. When you surround yourself with others who consider empathy a cardinal virtue, that social norm will likely start to rub off on you, as it did on the students in Weisz’s trials. And when you believe you can hone your empathic savvy through effort—a “growth mindset” approach to empathy—you’ll be more inclined to do it.
“People are excited and invested to increase their empathy if they think they can,” Weisz says. “A lot of people think of empathy as a static trait. Targeting motivations imparts lasting changes.”

TRUE OR FALSE
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
The only way to truly answer this
un-mathematical equation
is to
SHOW YOUR WORK
. . .NOW
is no time to talk of
e m p a t h y
IT IS TIME
to be
EMPATHY
(STAT)
F R I T T E R I N G
We all do it
. . .in fact,
it may be the one thing that every single one of us are
E X P E R T S:
F R I T T E R I N G
SOMETIMES BEING ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE
MEANS BEING NOTHING
TO NO ONE. . .
We are all so busy
DOING THE BUSY
that we let the
PRECIOUS
slip us by
without much noticing it
. . .THE EXTRA of the o r d i n a r y
and then much to late
with much less than an
exhausted sigh
it’s ALL gone. . .
WE WISH FOR MUCH
but seldom for
the REALIZATION OF NOW
the RIGHT HERE
the MOMENT
the NOW
NOT TODAY
NOT EVER
as long as you ask often:
WELL. . .
What answer you
Never make a
QUESTION
what you can have as a
LIFE STYLE STATEMENT
FRITTER ON
(no more)
THE SHORT END OF LONGEVITY
Some say
The Worst thing about Birthday Cakes
are the Candles they hold
that count how old you are
and how young
YOU AREN’T. . .
And we spend lots of effort
and money to
NOT MAKE IT SO. . .
Your Personality
Could Add Years of
Healthy Living
Matt Fuchs recently wrote about this phenomenon in a TIME MAGAZINE article. When it comes to strategies for slowing down the aging process, exercise and nutrition are the usual suspects—but don’t ignore the power of mind over matter.
Recent research shows that several personality traits predict who will enjoy health into their 80s and beyond. According to some studies, the link between personality and longevity is as strong as intelligence or how much money you have, both of which are correlated with longer lifespans.
These characteristics of the mind are fairly stable, but experts believe we can enhance them at any age—more easily, perhaps, than our bank accounts. The following five traits can be cultivated for a long, healthy life.
People who are conscientious—organized and responsible—tend to live longer. “It’s probably the best silver bullet we can hope for,” said Nicholas Turiano, a psychology professor at West Virginia University. Being conscientious is a “resilience factor” that may help some individuals overcome major risks to health, such as living in poverty, said Turiano.
Many conscientious people are diligent about exercise and nutrition. They also seem to have better coping strategies for stressful situations, said Turiano, leading to less inflammation, which in turn slows down aging.
People can become more conscientious through support from friends, coachesand psychologists. Smartphone apps may help, too. For example, participants in a study published earlier this year increased their conscientiousness significantly by using a digital coach called PEACH. This app reinforces personality change through chatbot conversations and tips, such as reminders to reflect on progress toward one’s goals by writing in a diary.
P U R P O S E
Another good quality for longevity is being purposeful, or having a direction in life with clear goals that energize you. Those who say that they have a life purpose recover faster from aggravations such as viewing pictures of pollution and other disturbing scenes. They also tend to have more brain volume in an area of the brain that’s linked to self-awareness and decision-making.
Many types of purpose are beneficial. “It’s so unique to the individual,” said Patrick Hill, a psychologist at Washington University in St. Louis. Some derive purpose from their jobs, whereas retirees report feeling more purposeful during the evening if they socialized that day, according to Hill’s research. People driven by artistic purposes may have a longevity edge, too. “Being creatively inclined can provide a sense of direction,” said Hill.
Purpose and conscientiousness overlap, but they’re not quite the same trait. Picture an employee conscientiously following the boss’s orders without batting an eye, chiming in constructively at meetings, yet lacking a deep connection to the job. “Purpose predicts health outcomes above and beyond the role of conscientiousness,” Hill explained.
To become more purposeful, finding the right mentor can have a powerful effect. For seniors, engaging in leisure activities, like arts classes, can go a long way toward purpose, well-being and lower rates of dementia and depression.
O P T I M I S M
For a long, healthy life, look for the silver lining. Optimism is associated with exceptional longevity, according to research by Lewina Lee, a psychologist at Boston University. That might include viewing older age as desirable. “I would think that optimistic people tend to feel more confident about their ability to accomplish goals as they age,” said Lee.
In fact, people who see the positives in aging, like wisdom and emotional maturity, live an average of 7.6 years longer. Becca Levy, a psychologist at Yale’s school of public health, said they enjoy this longevity advantage due toexercising more, eating healthier and lower biomarkers of stress-related inflammation—similar to the benefits of conscientiousness.
You can boost optimism by regularly writing about your best possible self. Becoming more age-positive may require undoing negative stereotypes about aging. “As young as three or four, children take in the age beliefs of their culture,” Levy told me. In older age, “those beliefs become self-relevant and impact health.” But Levy found she could improve ageist attitudes by asking study participants to write about seniors with active lifestyles. Her research also shows that nurturing age-positive beliefs in seniors can improve their physical functioning.
Young people can internalize positive views of aging by interacting more often with seniors, including role models and work colleagues, and joining intergenerational communities, Levy said.
E X T R A V E R S I O N
Being extraverted, or outgoing, is another trait that can lengthen your span of health. “The link between social relationships and longevity is as strong as cholesterol levels or smoking,” said Susan Charles, a psychology professor at the University of California-Irvine. “It’s a huge effect.”
Social butterflies tend to be more active, said Charles, which protects their health. Just don’t be overly agreeable. If you’re open to other people’s bad habits, you might be swayed by friends who drink, smoke or eat unhealthily.
To become more extraverted, sessions with a psychologist can help. Adopting a healthier lifestyle has been shown to make people more comfortable in social situations. Stay on top of current events and consider joining assertiveness classes or a Toastmasters group. And most of us could probably benefit from brushing up on social skills with online trainings.
A LACK OF NEUROTICISM
Graceful agers tend to keep an even keel. “They’re less likely to report feeling ecstatic or so sad that nothing will cheer them up,” said Charles. That inner tranquility is easier on the heart and supports better sleep, both of which pay major longevity dividends.
That doesn’t mean dodging every battle, though. Although people with zero stress report greater happiness, they might have worse cognition, a detriment to long-term health, said Charles. “You need a little challenge for optimal well-being.” The most common source of stress is other people, she added, but those who age successfully get the benefits of socializing without feeling threatened or exasperated by others.
Interventions for emotional stability could help Type A personalities, in particular. While they may have more ambition—and purposefulness— they’re prone to hostility, which is associated with cardiac problems. Other neuroses, including anxiety and depression, are similarly linked to faster aging.
Interventions to increase creativity may help, said Turiano. “People don’t get as perturbed if they’re open to trying different avenues when things go wrong.”
Or join a slow movement. Charles noted that just asking Type A personalities to eat more slowly reduced their rates of heart attacks. People who meditate may delay mortality, but it’s not for everyone. To cultivate any of these traits, said Charles, “the right intervention is the one that’s comfortable for you.”
Who thought some heady stuff could add years to your life, and yes, LIFE TO YOUR YEARS, but the research and data doesn’t lie. . .we often do, though. It kind of makes merely discarded numbered dates mean more than something to be tossed away. . .
Now for that Birthday Cake. . .
GUARANTEED IT WILL TASTE BETTER
WHEN YOU COME
NOT SO MUCH TO UNDERSTAND
BUT ACTUALLY LIVE LIKE:
THIRSTY QUENCH
Are you thirsty?
Some of the
Coolest
Most refreshing
Deepest cleansing
Absolutely soothing
W A T E R
doesn’t come from a faucet
Doesn’t pour from a pitcher
Doesn’t spill from a glass
Doesn’t cascade down from the sky
Are you thirsty
Sip with your eyes
Drink with your fingers
Gulp with your ears
Have your fill
And then go about
Quenching
Another’s dripless
Yearning
It’s not so much
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU DRANK YOUR FILL
so much as
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU QUENCHED A THIRST. . .
If you’re not letting
YOUR WATER
f l o w
you are
stinking stagnant . . .
T E N D E R N E S S
In this video, Trui Snyman reminds us that carving out a little solitude in a fast-paced world can make a world of difference to our health and wellbeing. She encourages us to be more gentle, not only with others, but with ourselves too.
What feelings/thoughts/questions surface for you in viewing Trui’s story?
How does Trui’s story move you?
Are you too busy going nowhere and feeling like you’re getting there?
What brings out your TENDERNESS?
Is being a Caring Catalyst a weakness?
Are some of the things that popped through my mind when I was watching this. . .
F U N N Y
When I read the video transcript, I had a different feeling. . .
Y O U
Video Transcript
“I read somewhere that worry is like sitting in a rocking chair. It keeps you busy but it gets you nowhere.
If you asked me six years ago if I was happy or if I wanted to see tomorrow or if I wanted to see next year I would have said, no. That’s a really terrible place to be. I didn’t even smile. Because life was too busy, that’s why.
We race so quickly through life that we’re blind to it, we’re deaf to it, we’re numb to it. We’ve become desensitized because we are in too much of a hurry. Did I notice the phases of the moon? Did I notice whether it was winter, summer, autumn, or spring? There was no time for that.
Should we not rather look at life through the eyes of a child? There is something new to discover, every day. What feeds your soul? If small things don’t feed your soul, what will?
People are hard, hard, hard. People are hard on each other, people are hard on themselves. Tenderness… We could all do with more tenderness. If you feel you need ten minutes to yourself just to sit and relax, why not. We have the right to invest in ourselves. Half an hour, just half an hour each day. Maybe you use that half hour to walk outside. Whether you shut yourself in your bedroom and read a book or you lie and soak in an herbal bath, that time is just for you. Forget the emails, forget the telephone.
My quality of life and my health have improved, just by taking things a little more slowly. Do yourself a favor and be a little more gentle with yourself. So yes, life is actually beautiful. But I’m still learning. Starting to learn…to be more gentle with myself.”
NEVER ALONE
I shall
Gather up
All the lost souls
That wander this earth
All the ones that are alone
All the ones that are broken
All the ones that never really fitted in
I shall gather them all up
And together we shall find our homePoem written by Athey Thompson
Taken from A Little Book Of Poetry
Tales of the old forest faeries
Photograph from “Through the back door” by J Pickford and A Green
WHAT WE HOLD
grows beyond whatever
can be promised. . .I can’t aways promise
A clean extended handA cool drink for a hot dayA warm full course mealA heavy coat for winter’s coldA pair of shoes for a dimmed lit roadPromisesAre often waterless wellsEmpty pocketsHolding ChangeThat never jangled
A check written
with invisible ink
and still never given
yearn to be what is needed
and not what is thought to only be wanted
so that we can become
to each’s other
what can’t be a promised land
when sown
we forever grow together
whatever could be promised
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