Are you a LIGHT
that are a part of many Candles. . . ?
ARE YOU A LIGHT THAT IS A PART OF MANY CANDLES
may not be the right question. . . DO YOU WANT TO BE Pssssssssssssssst:
JOIN ME
There’s songs to be sung
Candles to be lit
Lights
to
be
shared. . .
[UNTITLED]
Yasuhara Teishitsu
Translated from the Japanese by R. H BlythIce and water,
Their difference resolved,
Are friends again.(My thanks to Yasuhara Teishitsu and the translator.
Unfortunately I can't remember the source of the poem.)
In Northeast Ohio we can often have four seasons in one day
and worse, we can experience all four seasons inside us, too. . .
It's up to each of us to bring Sun Shine to each day
. . .but will we. . . ?
Now that would be a great (never-ending Season)WINTERINGS
We need no crumpled calendar pagesto announce the comings and goingsof the SeasonsNo synchronized Appsthrough an un-weathered Cloudto Announce our EventsOur seemingly important momentsor lacksadaisical 'To-Do's'No. . .it all settles down wobblinglyto our eventual Winteringswith one guaranteed Promise:'There is no Winter that's never not beenObliterated by the Spring'. . .Especially when it feels like ourFinal One
Mark Twain
once said,
“The two most important days in your life are THE DAY YOU ARE BORN
a n d
THE DAY YOU FIND OUT WHY”
We celebrate a person’s Birthday
Not because of the Day that they were born
But because of what they have born
Because of what they have given Birth in us. . .
I’ve celebrated well over 38
of my wife,
Erin’s Birthday’s
with her
And not one of them
has ever been without the over apparent R E C O G N I T I O N
that I,
that many
are far more better
no so much
because she’s been Born
but because of what she has BIRTHED in us. . .
Erin
creates
CARING CATALYSTS
in everyone she meets
or those who come across
her paths
which means that the best
Birthday Gift of all
Is what you cause to be born in others. . .
Your are the next Rung on all of our Ladder’s
that take us Higher
. . .Always Higher There’s no Candle on a Cake
that could ever illuminate more
and it’s
u n e x t i n g u i s h a b l e Some actually powerfully prove
their Flicker
never compares to the F L A M E
they ignite
and spread to others
. . .talk about a fortunate inextinguishable inferno. . .
All ground is fertile and she proved it by taking what had no life L I V E She makes my soul her soil when she rakes deeply and prunes, sharply The ache is more of a yearning Ahhhhhhhh than a moaning Owwwwwwl She makes things grow out of nothingness an Everythingness hardly without notice but never unnotable BIRTHDAYS
MARK YEARS;
M O M E N T S
make
L I F E T I M E S and I just can’t stop smiling
for all of the things
SHE MAKES GROW
in everyone she knows
and meets
HERE’S A BILLION REASONS
I HAVE MORE HOPE
ON THIS MONDAY MORNING BLOG POST. . .
Watch this. It is beautiful. This is THE moment when students of Albert Einstein College of Medicine got to know that they no longer have to pay any fees. Ruth Gottesman, a former professor at the college announced that she is donating USD 1 billion to the school. The college followed up and made themselves tution free rather than shoring up its reserves. With no student debt overhang, many students will now be able to pursue medicine as a public service.
Now here’s the thing, I may not have $1 billion to donate but I have a billion other ways which I can contribute to make the world a better place and make lives around me easier. As a Caring Catalyst, so do you. Let’s do what we can to make this more than just a nice Monday morning blog post in a billion other different ways!
Residing in the City of Souls walking the streets hanging the moon on bare branches aching for bloomings that will bring Awe to Ahhh without a shine Glowing a Way But being ever present to banish the shadows of Aloneness Moon Hangers We Are if we are
Admitting it would be outrageous. If fact, it would really border on raw arrogancy if we thought we actually brought A LIGHT that nobody else in this world can bring; how egotistical is that? And yet, the fact of the matter is nobody can light the world just like we dan where we are, because of who we are INDIVIDUALLY
THE SHAME OF IT
We don’t think we are THAT LIGHT. . .
so forget about shining, glowing, illuminating any dark corner
or shadow throwing any doubts or lonelinesses away
STOP IT. . .
HERE’S THE TRUTH OF ALL TRUTHS
YOU JUST DON’T HANG THE MOON
YOU BRING ITS GLOW
AND YOU REPRESENT ITS BEST KIND OF BEAMS
P E R I O D. . .
Now excuse me,
I’ve got a Moon to hang (AND SO DO YOU)
JUST FOR THE RECORD
Dale A. Lombardi
When I’ve reached that certain age
and you wonder about my mental fitness . . .
Don’t ask me
who's President
or what year it is
or even what month
Ask me
what finches are drawn
to the thistle feeder
or what color the fire
when the hardenbergia blooms
in March
or how Willie-dog
spent his final hours
lying in the cool morning grass,
face tipped toward heaven
to receive the last of this earth’s sunshine
as a final blessing
Don’t ask me
to count backwards
by sevens
or to draw you a clock
or to tell you the time
Ask me
to tell you
when time stood still
or if I want more time
or how time passed so quickly
Don’t ask me
to take a deep breath
or to breathe normally
Ask me
what took my breath away
or when I knew beauty
so clear and pure and true
I couldn’t catch my breath
Don’t ask
to listen to my heart
Put your stethoscope away
and listen to what set my heart
on fire, what frayed
its very edges, or when pride and awe and love
nearly broke my heart
open
Ask me
What really matters
Was it all worthwhile
Who I’ve loved
and how
Ask
What binds us to all eternity
What’s at the very center
when all else is peeled away,
What will last—really last—
not anger or grief,
but music and art and poetry
and trees
Ask me
if I have hope,
not for myself
but for the world
And if I don’t answer . . .
Set down your hurry
Bring me a slice of calm
with some tea
Then pull your chair close,
take the pale wither
of my hand in yours,
and just sit, sit
with me
awhile
(text as posted at this link)
Maybe it’s not so much for what we reach for as what stretches out for us; sometimes that’s a hand, sometimes it’s an idea, a thought, a story, a poem, but it’s undeniable when it makes contact and causes not even ever so slightly to move us ever so powerfully.
Recently, the adage “Money can’t buy happiness” was given a leg to stand on by a study suggesting a raise won’t have a real impact on your state of mind. But a different study claims that in regard to your income, there is totally a financial sweet spot for optimal satisfaction.
The expansive study, published in the journal, Nature Human Behaviour, used a Gallup World Poll to evaluate the income and happiness of 1.7 million people around the world. The authors of the research found monetary averages associated with satisfaction: For daily emotional well-being, people were generally best off earning $60,000 to $75,000 a year, but for long-term satisfaction, the mark was $95,000.
In North America (and most “wealthy” countries), for daily emotional well-being, the sweet spot is an annual income of $65,000 to $95,000, and for long-term satisfaction that number is $105,000.
Those numbers are the worldwide average, however; the averages vary from country to country, and in North America (and most “wealthy” countries) they are higher. For daily emotional well-being, the sweet spot here is $65,000 to $95,000, and for long-term satisfaction that number is $105,000. The area with the lowest income marker for long-term satisfaction is Latin America, at $35,000, and Australia and New Zealand report the highest, at $125,000.
People were likely to see decreased happiness if they achieved more than the optimal income for long-term satisfaction, partially due to a phenomenon Money described as the “hedonic treadmill,” in which people adjust to increases in income.
But happiness does peak at a certain point, according to the researchers. If people achieved more than the optimal income for long-term satisfaction, they were likely to see decreased happiness, partially due to a phenomenon Money described as the “hedonic treadmill.” This describes when people very quickly adjust to increases in income.
Still, the study has its shortcomings: Gauging and measuring happiness is a subjective practice that often relies on self-reporting. Additionally, the study examined individual income instead of household income, which might have skewed conclusions about how much money someone needs in order to be happy. Not to mention that the concept of happiness itself is contentious, and many nations don’t place as much weight on it as Americans do.
It’s kind of amazing isn’t it. . .
It’s Valentine’s Day week,
Which means it’s a great day for people who really love each other
but not so great day for people that are grieving
or folks who have lost
or others who are alone. . .
Wonder if it
WASN’T
about that kind of love
Wonder if Valentine’s Day
was actually a gift that you give to somebody,
that includes Everybody
no matter
race
creed
religion
sex
no matter alone
no matter grieving
no matter sad or happy
What if it was a day that you just loved just to love
and maybe even better
Wonder if it was just a day to love
the way a person deserves to be loved
now that would be quite a day
we’re celebrating, right
and guess what
. . .not just on February 14
How about let’s make it that kind of a day
not only on Wednesday
but each day
how about
T O D A Y
before the 14th of February (or the 14th of any other month) S E E. . .
When Valentine’s Day is more than just a day
it has the greatest opportunity to become a l i f e s t y l e
Ok, I’m a little confused here, and now, maybe you are, too.
Does anybody know what the ORANGE PEEL THEORY is? I mean, I really thought an orange peel, was uhhhhh, you know, AN ORAGNE PEEL? You?
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Thank you for playing, tell them what their consolation gift is, Johnny. . .
Does Your Relationship Pass The ‘Orange Peel Theory’ Test?
Here is what the new TikTok trend is all about — and what it might say about your own partner. Anna Rahmanan let us in on an obviously not obvious secret. . .
JANINA STEINMETZ VIA GETTY IMAGES
A new thesis regarding relationships has gained popularity all over TikTok in recent weeks.
“The orange peel theory focuses on the idea that small acts of service are not just about the action itself but about what it represents in the relationship,” said Kate Truitt, a board-certified psychologist and applied neuroscientist. “They signal care, love and commitment, and the repetition of the act enhances the overall health and happiness of the relationship. These gestures, often simple and seemingly mundane, are in fact pivotal in nurturing a loving, supportive and enduring partnership.”
Georgina Sturmer, a registered counselor at the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, said that the trend is really a commentary on “the nuts and bolts of a relationship.”
In fact, many on TikTok have come to celebrate ― or negatively comment on ― romantic relationships based on observations made with the orange peel theory in mind.
Does your significant other peel an orange for you without you having to ask because he or she knows how much the smell of the skin bothers you, for example? Or does he or she complain about your “constant asking” when you do request a favor?
“The idea is that we are all subconsciously seeking signals from our partner to reassure us of their affection,”Sturmer said. “Signals that show us that they have an intimate knowledge of our likes and dislikes, and that they are prepared to go out of their way to make us happy.”
Why Acts Of Service Are Hallmarks Of A Good Relationship
According to Truitt, “regular, positive interactions are fundamental in creating a sense of security, trust and emotional bonding.”
That is all to say: Consistent acts of affection will not only prove that your partner cares for you, but they will also allow you to feel comfortable enough to explore the relationship further and, perhaps, deepen your connection. By demonstrating his or her appreciation for you through seemingly meaningless efforts, your partner will subconsciously give you the green light to feel even more secure in your relationship.
Truitt explained that kind gestures help build a positive emotional atmosphere that then “triggers the release of vital neurotransmitters like oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin.”These chemicals have been shown to reinforce positive feelings and, therefore, emotional connections.
In addition to providing an immediate sense of satisfaction and joy, these acts of kindness work to bolster the “foundations” of a relationship and one’s own sense of self, according to Truitt.
“This might sound obvious, but many of us carry around an inner critic that tells us that we are undeserving of kindness,” she said. “So when our partner offers a kind word, gesture or action, this strengthens the relationship between us, and it also boosts our own confidence and self-esteem.”
Some may contend that sporadic grand gestures may prove one’s love in their own way, perhaps even more than constant, small-scale actions — but the therapists don’t necessarily agree with that.
“Popular culture celebrates the grand gesture, like a proposal at the top of the Empire State Building, a dramatic race through an airport departure lounge,” Sturmer said. “These can be wonderful statements, but, in our everyday existence, the consistent caring interactions tell us that someone cares.”
Examples Of The Orange Peel Theory
Although the orange peel theory is clearly based on a specific action, the concept refers to a larger category of behaviors: everyday acts of tenderness that may not catch your attention immediately but, when put together, offer a pretty clear picture of your relationship status.
Examples of these quotidian efforts, according to Sturmer, include “cleaning dirty boots after a walk outside, collecting your partner at the bus station when it’s raining, refilling the gas in the family car when it’s running low.”
The key, according to the expert, is that the simple gesture goes unannounced and perhaps isn’t directly requested.
“It’s not accompanied with fanfare or an explicit requirement to show your appreciation,”she said.
Other examples may include ordering your partner’s favorite menu item from a restaurant before they can even ask, doing the dishes or bringing the mail in.
Truitt takes it a step further than the actionable aspect of the conversation, mentioning how certain behavioral dispositions fall under the scope of the theory, like active listening, expressions of appreciations, small feats of affection (“holding hands, hugs or a thoughtful note”), support during stress, quality time, consistent check-ins and celebrating successes.
How Can I Bring The Orange Peel Theory Up To My Partner?
It’s important to note that everyone has a different way of showing their appreciation and affection. However, if there is one thing that the orange peel theory has proved, it’s that small, consistent acts of kindness certainly help deliver the message that you care about someone. So how can you make sure that your partner knows this?
According to Truitt, there are a few ways. To start, lead by example.
“Often the best way to encourage behavior is to model it yourself,”she said. “Engage in small acts of kindness towards your partner regularly, which could range from a thoughtful note to a warm embrace, demonstrating the kind of affection and care you value.”
Communication is a big part of the subject as well, but, according to Truitt, it’s important to understand that the goal of any conversation is to enhance the relationship, not to “criticize your partner.”
You should therefore choose the right time and setting to bring the conversation up, focus on the positive aspects of your connection while also being specific about your desires. You might have to “clearly express what small gestures” you’re talking about, Truitt explained. Being direct is always the best course of action.
Don’t forget to also ask your partner’s take on it, Sturmer said. In addition to role-modeling the behavior, she suggested talking about what’s stopping your partner from fulfilling your needs.
“Maybe they’re assuming that you might find him or her doing things for you patronizing,” she said. “They’re worried about annoying you.” The solution? Direct communication.
One more tip: To ease into the conversation, Sturmer said, you might actually want to show your partner the various viral videos. “It gives you a chance to chat about it without making it feel personal.”
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
SERIOUSLY. . . ORANGE YOU GLAD YOU KNOW THIS, NOW? (so sorry; I couldn’t resist)
Pssssssssssssssst:
In Northeast Ohio we can often have four seasons in one day
WINTERINGS
There’s no Candle on a Cake
Some actually powerfully prove
BIRTHDAYS
and I just can’t stop smiling
S E E. . .
JANINA STEINMETZ VIA GETTY IMAGES
