Far From the Tree |
| How do you find meaning in difficulty? This video trailer for the book, “Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity,” by Andrew Solomon, shows some poignant vignettes of interviews with parents and children who were born “different.” Solomon learns that although individual differences can be isolating, the fact of difference is universal. His other great discovery is joy – most of the families ended up being grateful for experiences they would have done anything to avoid.
FRUIT BEFORE ROOT FRUIT STANDS |
UnSmothered Love
The line has stuck with me for well over
T W E N T Y Y E A R S. . .
and I suspect for the rest of my life as a father;
Did you hear it?
Is it one of your favorite lines, too,
in the SHADOW OF FATHER’S DAY. . .
“YOUR FLAWS AS A SON ARE MY FAILURES AS A FATHER.”
S E R I O U S L Y:
Have you ever thought,
“IF I WAS A BETTER PARENT,
maybe my children would be better,
not suffered as much”
Yes, I have suffered many little deaths
along the way as any dad would/does. . .
Children always have a way of ripping your heart out
without a scalpel and tramping
on your aorta;
watching it as flutters,
sputters blood
and seamlessly stops beating
by either what they say/do
or don’t say or do. . .
But my father’s heart has never stopped loving,
never stop caring,
never stop giving,
never stopped worrying,
and I believe it’s what makes me who I am
and who I want to continue to be. . .
It’s hard work;
it’s an endless job
from which I will never retire
and of which I will never seek to do so. . .
Now for that
MISSING PIECE. . .
completing
t h a t
puzzle of
UnSMOTHERED
L O V E
and in the meantime,
still very much in the shadow of Father’s Day
I’m beyond grateful for
Oliva, Gina, Angie, Zoe and Connor
MAKING this Father
a much better
DAD
IT’S A GREAT DAY TO MAKE A MISTAKE
I bet you didn’t wake up this morning and shouted out loud
even before you went to the bathroom:
IT’S A GREAT DAY TO MAKE A MISTAKE
IT’S A GREAT DAY TO ROYALLY SCREW UP
IT’S A GREAT DAY TO BOTCH PLAN A
IT’S A GREAT DAY TO BECOME AN ABSOLUTE FOOL
or
DID YOU. . .
There are some things in life that make the difference between happiness and unhappiness. . .
They make the difference between a society of fulfilled
and engaged people. . .
And mindless robots who are afraid to be different. . .
Who suppress their creativity. . .
Who forget their potential. . .
Who ask all the wrong questions
or worse
Who don’t ask any questions at all. . .
Who don’t understand why the world
doesn’t operate by the rules
it did when they were children. . .
YOUR MISSION
should you choose to accept it
is simply this:
LIVE PERFECTLY IMPERFECTLY
with making mistakes
not a mistake
but moments of
majestic manifestations magnificences
(it’ll end hitting the REWIND BUTTON and living in the MOMENTS)
A Walk To HOME
Have you heard the Story?
Have you Lived it from either end?
Arun Gandhi is the grandson of Mahatma Gandhi;
When he was sixteen years old, he was asked by his father to take him by car to a meeting. While his father was at the meeting, Arun was to go to a nearby town, buy groceries for the family and bring the car to the garage. At 5:00 p.m. Arun was suppose to be back to pick up his father and drive him home.
Arun had fulfilled his duties and since there were time and money left, he went to the Movie Theater for a John Wayne double feature. He was so entranced by it he literally forgot about the time. Much too late, he hurried out of the theater and went to pick up his dad. It was 6:00 p.m.; he was an hour late. His father was worried something terrible had happened. Arun told his dad that the garage had not gotten the car ready in time.
He didn’t know that his father had already called the garage to find out about his son’s whereabouts.
Arun’s father reacted to the lie like this:
He told his son that he, as a father, must have done something terribly wrong in bringing up his son, so that his son would have had to lie to him; and that he would not let his son drive him home, but walk all the way and think about what he had obviously done wrong in raising his son. Arun begged his father to get in the car with him, but his father did as he said without speaking another word. . .
I T W A S A F I V E H O U R W A L K !
Arun drove behind his father at walking pace until, late at night, they got home.
Arun Gandhi said that after this he never again lied to his father!
W O W. . .
You think?
And we thought,
“M O T H E R ‘ S G U I L T I S B A D ?”
Is this some kind of non-violent parenting?
Or Child abuse?
Would it be effective in 2020 and beyond?
Would our children have followed us the five hour walk home?
Would we have really pondered our own faults in parenting during the long walk home?
. . .and Now?
We take steps every day, don’t we?
Each step we take,
even if we don’t notice,
are being watched,
maybe even emulated by our children
and the children in all of us. . .
Have they. . .
. . .Have we noticed. . .
Maybe it’s not so much the walk home. . .
but,
The W a l k
T O H O M E,
that makes all the Difference;
in and out of this World,
and more . .
Everything in between!
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
Let’s take a walk. . .
And instead of all of the steps we’ve taken
and far left behind. . .
let’s focus on the
next one
and all those before us
as we journey on. . .
Always on
hand and hand